Quick Warning! This was the first story I ever wrote, and you can tell the quality within. The story has the chance to be remade, but I have no intentions to continue the story as it currently is. Proceed with caution.
Spike is a teenager now, no longer the small dragon he once was. He had wings, he could breath fire like a real dragon, though he never grew into the idea of gem greed. He's still the same old Spike!
However, ever since Twilight became a princess, and they started going on extravagant adventures all the time, he was barely noticed. Spike basically became a burden, something they "have" to take care of, not someone they "want" to do so. Staying in the castle all day long because those were Twilight's orders---yes--- orders. The gang was even bitter towards him, though he does nothing.
If Spike was lucky, every once in awhile they'd talk to him, even though it was maybe a sentance or two, but Spike was sick of it. He wanted, no, he needed to do something, and quick.
The gang are leaving to go to Canterlot today, and he has to guard the castle. A golden opportunity.
WARNING: This story is not in hiatus in the sense of no more working on it, but more or less remaking this story so it can look more professional, build up more character, and overall be a better introduction to a better story.
Well so far so good. I hope this story ends well for Spike, be it than gains power, respect, love, or the death of those that betrayed him.
6430267
Death to those who betrayed him? Doesn't that mean the death of the main six and leave equestria screwed?
6430286 One of my favorite story's is "A Dragon's Requiem" that show say enough.
6430349 Read that one too. Too bad he/she didn't finish it, I made several mental endings, even one where it's not tragedy. Hopefully, one day, it will be complete. (By the original author)
Good story, can't wait to see what happens know that Spike will encounter Twilight again.
Here are some things help you out:
When using quotes don't put a space between the one before the first word. (" You...). Keep them together, it's the proper way and it looks more clean. ("You...)
Also, when you went a couple hours in time don't use many "-"'s. Use the special edit:
('hr' in square brackets)
It looks better and doesn't go over two lines.
And add more stuff to it to make it seem less rushed. I like adventure stories that feel like the episodes. Not too quick, but also not too long and boring. (Long is okay, as long as you don't bore me to death with useless writing.
Don't take this as a rant, take it as tips.
This fic has potential, I'd like to see it as its' best.
6432135 I don't take it as hate speech XD I took it as constructive criticism. I appreciate the help a lot. Like I said before, I am a new writer, I'm working on the second chapter, and yes, I saw the problem of not enough content in it, but I didn't want to add filler. I will probably fix it later on, but I want to go for non-overcomplicated process for this story, not yet at least. I plan this fanfiction to be at least 10 chapters, and start off with not much info, but with info to come later on, and MUCH longer chapters.
If you would like to help me out with some of my writing for future chapters, I'd appreciate it! :D
6432319 I'd be happy to proof read. PM me if you'd like.
6432332 Just fixed the problems you mentioned, be sure to look and make sure everything you had a problem with was addressed.
If you don't mind the story being a bit boring for you in the long run, proofreading a story that you like can kinda mess it up, then sure. I'll be on tomorrow, and I'll probably finish the second chapter by tomorrow. You can help me add details, adjectives, show don't tell (Lol), and the sorts.
You, my friend, have earned a follower!
Great work!
You're improving!
I look forward to more chapters.
today i found this story read the first chapter same day chapter 2 is uploaded
Nice chapter, but a little bit fast-paced
6448784 Yeah, I can see where you are coming from. Don't worry though, the story will get much better in the next few chapters. We are not even into the main conflict yet.
um.. I think it should be more like,
But, uh, what ever you want is fine... this story is a bit fast-paced in my opinion, and a little bit of confusion due to "time-jumping" everywhere, as I called it.
6448838 Hmm... Alright, I'm going to fix the first chapter a bit.
I cant help but wonder was that letter to Spike was, could it be them pleading for him to come back or something stupid and selfish. I would think it would be the latter.
Great story so far!
Me gusta
When's the next chapter I hope the main six figures out that they did him wrong.
Looking forward to the next chapter
Keep it rolling in man.
If you don't continue it soon, I'm putting it up for adoption in my group.
6687774 Sorry bud, not until this story is over, and it can only be a fan sequel, and you have to talk to me about it.
6467442 I can't tell you what is in the letter, but I will tell you that it will be revealed soon. c:
6709356 Oh, so you are continuing the story?
6709565 No dip XD
6709623 No dip?
6710141 It means no dipshit, but dip is more friendly and nice.
Any other updates any time soon?
6905808 I've just been keeping up with school at the moment, I also have prep school to start looking for.
If you or other fans would like, I could contact you at least once a week and you could remind me to write some, and we can talk. This would be a good idea if you and/or others would like to participate in this idea.
6710148
So you're saying: "No dipshit" As in it's obvious that you're continuing.
Or are you saying: "No, dipshit" As in it is painfully obvious you're not continuing.
Please elaborate.
6992942
I said no dip followed by a laughing face. It's pretty obvious I meant I'm continuing.
7066723
Not really. . .
If you said "No, dip(shit)" It sounds like you're saying "No, I'm not, dip(shit)" You didn't intend it that way, so you're biased. Ask someone else who is unbiased, and they will probably say the same thing.
7068991 Why are you digging so deep on a discussion that wasn't even yours to begin with?
7070233 Do you have a problem with it? I don't see a reason why you would.
7070737 Because you are making a big deal out of something so small, making a mountain out of an anthill if you will, and I see no point when the conversation was over.
7071064 It just seemed a little unclear to me, and I wanted to clarify. What's so wrong with that?
7074182 The face at the end kind of inferred what it meant, which was I'm continuing it.
7076599 So you are continuing this then?
7080017 Yes, but it is on hiatus. Be sure to look out for my new story I'm gonna be releasing very soon c:
7080397
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:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D::D:D
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7081053
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DAMN, THIS COMMMENT IS FANCY
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7081829 ٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶
٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)
7080397 What's that one?
7082072 The New Big Head Killer
It is based off of the Mask, y'know the one that has cartoon logic, but we're talking about the comic book version of the mask.
.....................................................Does Pinkie get a hoof of it?
7085699 I will not reveal anything yet, all I will say is an original character starts off with the mask.
I hope you like the idea!
7086699 Oh definitely, more-so when it comes out.
I like the Trixie in this story she seems nice
but I want to know how the main 6 
are going to react to Spike leaving
please tell me spike gets a good life at the end of all this.
7345535 They'll figure it out eventually, but how, I cannot say.
7360334 Well, you'll just have to wait and see for yourself!