The Mare Who Played With the Shapes of Ponies
“Well, looks like this is it: Hollow Shades.”
Twilight folded up her map and slid it into her pack, before she stepped over to the edge of the ridge that overlooked the sleepy little forest hamlet.
“I see. It’s very… quaint.” Rarity moved up next to Twilight, her face twisted in a grimace. “If the map was going to have us walk through miles of wilderness in order to solve some sort of friendship problem, couldn’t they have at least picked some place a little more fashionable? Please tell me there’s at least a good bath to be found.”
As much as Rarity had complained the entire journey, Twilight was inclined to sympathize with her; it had been a rough trip, and the map seemed to care little for the timing of whatever personal projects they were involved when it called them to action. “At least Hollow Shades is actually on a map, compared to the town Starlight Glimmer set up.”
Rarity turned her nose up and sniffed, then followed it up with a sigh as she turned to walk down the path into town. “Really, they’re on a map? I suppose that’s nice and all, but beyond just a name, are they known for anything at all? Honestly, I had never even heard of the place until you pointed it out.”
Twilight frowned, trying to recall the passages in the traveler's guide she had memorized in preparation for their journey. “If I remember correctly, these ponies are a rather ornery sort. For hundreds of years they’ve refused to recognize the governance of Equestria, and they don’t pay taxes. Princess Celestia still claims rulership over the area on paper, but she doesn’t enforce it and generally lets them do their own thing. It’s a delicate situation where both sides pretend the other doesn’t exist, and both are allegedly happier for it. No taxes means no crown protection, but that’s their choice, I guess.”
“Ah yes, the vagaries of politics. Well, I at least hope they’re of a sort to welcome outsiders, regardless of their particular affiliations.” Rarity shivered and drew her scarf closer to her neck.
“The map sent us here, after all, so I wouldn’t take that bet.” Twilight stopped, taking a closer look at the town from their vantage point on the main thoroughfare. The trees around them rose high above, and cast a deep, overbearing shadow across the valley the town was nested in.. The buildings were ramshackle and worn down, but well repaired. The streets were muddy, but not overly so. Poor, but not destitute.
“I see we’ve got quite the welcoming crowd,” Rarity drawled.
Twilight stepped forward, her hooves squishing in the soft, wet earth. There wasn’t a single pony in sight, though she could see the shadows of movement in the windows of the surrounding homes, and the itching sensation in her horn made her positive they were being watched.
Just why had Rarity and Twilight been sent here, anyway? The oppressive atmosphere of the place, combined with its rural nature, suggested that Applejack and Pinkie Pie might have been a better fit. Did the map somehow know which pony was best for the job, even before the job was done? Or did it, perhaps, just pick them at random?
“There’s got to be somepony around that can… aha!” Rarity puffed herself up and trotted over to a small figure crouched on the corner of a porch. “Excuse me, young miss, but my friend and I just arrived in town, and we were hoping if we could ask you a few questions?”
Her question hung in the air unanswered, and the figure just stood there, unmoving, hidden in the shadows. Twilight stepped closer, straining her eyes to see.
Rarity cleared her throat, then lit up her horn. “I do apologize, darling, if we’re intruding at all; it’s just that—eep!”
Twilight watched as Rarity jumped backwards, recoiling from whatever she had seen in the light of her horn. “Rarity? What’s wrong?”
Rarity turned back as Twilight jumped up the steps, her cheeks starting to color. “I, uh… it just startled me, that’s all.” There was a blue glow of magic, and the figure was levitated into full view. “It’s just a doll, see?”
“Oh.” Twilight blinked, looking the stuffed toy up and down. She was hardly an expert on dollcrafting, but she could tell that this one was masterfully crafted. And furthermore, it was wearing an exceptionally elaborate dress, one that probably would have cost a fortune were it pony sized. “That seems like an awfully nice doll to be left lying around outside.”
“I can’t argue with that.” Rarity frowned, slowly spinning the doll in her magic as she looked it over with her craftsmare’s eye. “My my, Sweetie Belle would absolutely adore this. Still, I can only assume that someone left it behind in haste; it’s not our place to be mucking about with other ponies’ things.”
Twilight glanced around to see if anypony had reacted to their presence, but other than a few shadowed movements, nopony was willing to show themselves. “Come on, I think there’s a light on in that big building near the edge.”
Rarity nodded and set the doll back down, before she made her way back down to the street. “I think that might be an inn of some sorts. Hot bath, you will be mine!”
Twilight smiled at the thought. A bath would certainly be a welcome treat. She was still on guard, of course, but just because a town was spooky and dark didn’t mean it was overtly dangerous. Some ponies just—
Twilight ran smack into Rarity, who had stopped in the middle of the road. Grunting as she rubbed at her head, she glared at Rarity for a few moments before eventually tracking her gaze to the source of her sudden cessation of movement.
There was another doll, of a similar quality, though of a different design, propped up in somepony’s window.
Rarity wordlessly raised her hoof to point to another house, and Twilight saw a third doll crammed into the nook of a tree.
“Okay,” Rarity said, her voice a measured calm. “Somepony really likes dolls. We all have our special talents. Perhaps they’re this village’s… thing.”
“Yes. That is a perfectly logical and reasonable assumption.”
Twilight was almost one hundred percent positive that the sensation of being watched was just coming from ponies peering out their windows.
That they both quickened their pace to get to the inn faster was entirely unrelated.
Letting out a breath she hadn’t quite realized she was holding, Twilight paused before the door to the inn and glanced up at the sign. “Journey’s Rest,” she read aloud. “Rather straightforward, as names go.” The light coming from within seemed warm and inviting. The doll propped up beside the door would be quite adorable taken out of context.
Rarity pushed the door open, and they made their way inside.
The common room was empty, save for a wide-eyed mare behind the counter and a surly looking bouncer, who, upon seeing them, rested a hoof on the hilt of his sword.
Rarity glanced back and forth between the two of them, the tension in the air already thick, and leapt into action.
“Goodness, I love it! What an absolute gem of an establishment you have here. The rest of this town is a bit, no offense, darling, a bit dreary, but even at first glance, this is a place a mare can feel welcome to put her hooves up and relax. The way you’ve accented the fireplace is simply divine, and your tablecloths match your curtains perfectly. The uh, doll on the table, well… that seems to be the style here, so I shan’t say anymore. Still. Love it.”
Everypony stared at Rarity blankly for several moments, their mouths hanging open.
“T-thank you,” the bartender stammered, breaking the silence. Her cheeks turned a shade of rosy pink to match her hair. “Sorry, you, um, just startled us, that’s all. It’s okay, Oaken Stein. You don’t have to scare them off. We just don’t get many visitors.”
Stein continued to glare at them both before he sighed and sunk back against the wall.
“That was amazing,” Twilight whispered, giving Rarity a wink before she puffed herself up and strode forward. “We apologize as well. We’re new here and aren’t familiar with a lot of things yet. My name is Pri—”
Rarity interrupted Twilight by kicking her in the shin, then shook her head rapidly. “No titles!” she hissed.
Twilight raised an eyebrow, wincing at the pain, but gave a resigned sigh. “I’m Twilight Sparkle. This is my friend, Rarity. I guess we were hoping to find lodging for the night?”
The bartender glanced at Stein, before she gave a polite curtsy. “My name is Peony. You’re absolutely welcome to stay the night, though if you plan on staying longer than that, I’m afraid our little town doesn’t have anything interesting enough to warrant it.”
Twilight bit back a smirk. They would be the judges of that. Something about this place was off, though she couldn’t quite put a hoof on it. She spared a quick glance to see that both Rose and Stein had normal cutie marks, of a flower and what appeared to be a shield, respectively. No equal signs here, so there was at least that.
“Nonsense. Every town has something or another going on, hmm?” Rarity made her way over to the bar and peered over the menu. “I could tell you any number of stories or gossip about Ponyville, though I suppose not all of them are that interesting. Still, the doll theme is certainly… charming. I don’t suppose if it would be too forward of me to ask what drives this particular aesthetic? I’m a bit curious.”
Peony stumbled slightly at the mention of the dolls, but almost managed to make it look graceful. She glanced over at the doll sitting on the table, and then over to Stein. “The dolls, um. They all belong to our Lady Mari. They’re her gifts to us all.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, then sat down at the table with the doll, looking more closely. This one was a pink unicorn with a blonde mane. Its glassy eyes stared past her, sending an involuntary shiver running down her spine. “Lady Mari? I read in the Travel Guide to Equestria, sixth edition, that Hollow Shades used a simple democratic voting process to elect a mayor. ‘Lady’ seems like an odd title in that context.”
Stein grimaced, then leaned forward, staring intently at Twilight’s wings. “This here is dangerous country. There’s a lot of monsters about. Our lady keeps us safe. Just who are you, anyway?”
“This is excellent work,” Twilight said, levitating the doll into the air. Did this Mari make them all herself?”
“Please don’t touch them!” Peony cried out, reaching out a hoof. “I mean, they, uh. She doesn’t want them to be disturbed.”
Rarity narrowed her eyes, staring at the doorway, focusing intently on something that Twilight couldn’t see.
“My apologies,” Twilight said, setting the doll back down. The reaction was certainly telling; something was going on here. “I think I’d very much like to meet this Lady Mari, do you think that could be arranged?”
Stein took a deep breath, then shook his head. “Something like that isn’t up to us. In fact, I’d recommend against it, but do what you want.”
Rarity made over to Twilight, then motioned for her to follow. “Can I speak to you in private for a moment, darling?” They made their way over to the farthest corner of the inn, where Twilight put up a quick privacy spell.
“This is super weird,” Twilight said.
Rarity nodded, glancing over at the pair, who were watching them, unease clear on their faces. “I agree. I mean, I suppose it’s technically possible that this is all completely innocuous, but honestly, is it ever?”
“There’s definitely magic in the dolls. I could sense it, though if I wanted to figure out how, specifically, they were enchanted, it would take me a bit of time and effort.”
“I wish we had had a little bit of time to relax first,” Rarity said with a sigh, “but I suppose it’s best if we just saddle up and get this over with. Whatever it is. Also, I think I saw something that—”
The door to the inn slammed open, and two armored guard ponies pushed their way inside.
Twilight let the privacy spell drop and turned to face the newcomers warily.
They took one look at Twilight and Rarity and leveled their spears. “Princess Twilight Sparkle. The Lady Mari wishes to see you. Please come with us.”
Rarity leaned in and whispered. “Ooh, they know it's you; this is probably a trap.”
“Almost certainly,” Twilight whispered back. Pulling herself up and spreading her wings slightly, Twilight strode towards the guards, her horn glowing with raw magic. “Just, hypothetically speaking, if we were to refuse, what would your response be?”
The guards both glanced at each other, then stepped forward, their teeth bared. “It’d be best if you came with us.”
“If you’re going to make a mess,” Stein drawled, “at least do it outside. And besides, you’re holding that wrong, Spark. You want your grip to be a little lower.”
Spark grimaced, then swore under his breath. “I don’t have to take that from a coward.”
“It’s fine,” Twilight said as she metaphorically lowered her ‘weapons’, “we’ll come peacefully. Something tells me there’s a lot I’ll want to discuss with your lady. Rarity will be coming too, of course. I trust there will be no objections?”
The guards nodded and motioned for them to follow. As they passed by Stein, he mumbled under his breath, “Be careful.”
They were led through the back streets of the town and into the forest. It was a winding, dense trail, with thick overgrowth blocking out almost all light. It was reminiscent of some of the deepest parts of the Everfree Forest.
“There’s something…” Rarity mumbled under her breath, her neck twisting a she stared, her vision intent on the shoulders of the guards. “I can’t quite make it out, but it’s just out of the corner of my eye…”
After maybe ten minutes of walking, the path gave way into a large clearing, the center of which contained a small mansion. It looked somewhat newly constructed, free of the worn and weathered look that plagued the rest of the town.
“Lady Mari is waiting for you inside,” one of the guards said, pulling open the double doors to the mansion.
They stepped into the mansion together, and the doors were closed behind them.
Twilight made a quick note of their surroundings. There were numerous candelabras strewn around, providing ample lighting. A wide set of stairs filled the entrance hall, leading to the overlooking balcony of the second floor. There were at least six doors she could see that lead deeper into the house.
And, naturally, four dolls, each propped up nicely on a pedestal. These ones seemed to be wearing armor, and had tiny swords strapped to their hooves. Lovely.
Footsteps echoed from up above, and a figure slowly began to descend the staircase. “Welcome, Princess Twilight Sparkle. I’ve been expecting you.”
To Twilight’s surprise, the mare that made her way into the light was young: a teenager. She was still in that awkward, gangly transition between filly and adult. Her cutie mark was a cross of wood with strings hanging down from it. “Let me guess; It’s short for Lady Marionette? I can’t say I know much about the town of Hollow Shades, but this is a bit much, don’t you think?”
Mari smiled and stopped her advance. She sat down on the stairs, and raised a hoof to her lips. “I’ve been working real hard to make Hollow Shades a place with its own identity and power, but governance is hard, no matter what kind of help you have.”
Rarity sniffed. “If I may offer a piece of advice, you need to pick a theme and stick with it, sweetie. The gothic thing would work, but you need more wrought iron to pull it off, and it’s best to contrast with a warm and welcoming interior. Peony has the right idea. I’m sure she’d be willing to help.”
“Hmph. That sow and her husband are lucky I’m generous enough to let them keep their business.” Mari lit up her horn, her magic a soft blue, and levitated what appeared to be a glass of wine over to herself. “Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?”
Twilight shrugged, then stepped forward. “How does a pony your age come to be the lady of a town like this?”
Mari smirked. “I had an excellent teacher.”
“And do the ponies here truly appreciate your rulership?” Rarity asked.
“Why wouldn’t they? Like that oaf said in the inn: This is dangerous country. I keep my town safe from danger and help it to exist independently outside of the hoof of principal tyranny.”
“That’s a massive oversimplification if I ever heard one,” Twilight grumbled.
Mari narrowed her eyes and sipped at her wine. “You’re here to try and depose me, right? She told me you would come, eventually, but don’t think it’s going to be that easy for you.”
Twilight glanced over at Rarity. “I didn’t realize I had developed a reputation for that. I wasn’t particularly planning on deposing anypony. The general mission objective is to spread the ideals of friendship throughout the land, and I’d much prefer that approach.”
Rarity nodded. “Really now, let’s not be hostile. I’m sure we all hold some different core beliefs, but this is a diplomatic issue; something to talk over like reasonable adults. There’s no need to get all dramatic about it.”
“So you can fill my head with lies, or worse, use your brainwashing magic? I know how you operate.” Mari tossed the now empty glass aside where it shattered on the bannister. “I don’t think so, Princess. You’re in my home; here we play by my rules.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “If you want to set yourself up as the tyrant to be cast aside, I’m more than willing to play the role of the heroine, but for your sake, I honestly wouldn’t recommend it. You can still back down from this.”
Mari threw her head back and laughed. It was a rather good villainous cackle, all things considered. “Don’t think it’ll be that easy. Guards!”
Twilight reacted first, throwing herself to the side and firing up her horn to cast a quick locking spell on the door behind her. Several jagged shards of metal flew past her into the wall as she dodged. They had been fired from the dolls as they all rose in unison. The door shuddered under the weight of the guards smashing into it from outside. It was a good first move.
Twilight turned her head to fire a blast of raw magical energy at the closest doll. To her considerable surprise, the ray splashed onto it like water and didn’t seem to have any effect. The distraction nearly cost her dearly as another doll dove towards her, sword raised high. Twilight felt herself lose a few hairs as she ducked under its strike.
Mari continued laughing, now floating several feet off of the ground. “Your magic is useless against my creations, Twilight! This is going to be so much fun!”
“Twilight!” Rarity called out as she parried several thrusts from a doll with a candelabra. “I can see it now, the strings!” Maintaining her grip on the candelabra, Rarity split her focus to lift a fold in her saddlebag and pull out a small set of sewing scissors. She dove, rolling underneath the doll she was fighting, and with a quick snip from the scissors, it fell, lifeless to the ground.
“Great work!” Twilight glanced about, but she couldn’t see the strings Rarity was talking about. Instead, she grabbed her own candelabra and, with a wrenching of metal, compacted it into a jagged spear. She began to defend herself against the two dolls descending down upon her. Swordfighting wasn’t exactly a specialty of hers, but she should at least be able to defend herself against semi-autonomous constructs long enough to…
There! The shot lined up, and Twilight fired another blast of magic, this one aimed directly at Mari.
Two new dolls rose up from the ground at her hooves, these ones carrying large shields, and blocked the attack entirely.
“Useless!”
“You look like you could use a helping hoof, Twilight!” Rarity charged the dolls menacing her from behind and, with quick work of her scissors, they both fell.
Panting, Twilight stepped forward. They had managed to score a small cut along her flank, but it wasn’t anything serious. “Is that all you’ve got?”
She instantly regretted tempting fate as the front door smashed open, splinters flying as the guards poured in. The two from earlier had been joined by four more, the six of them all fully armed and armored. Four more dolls rose up above the banisters, these ones glowing with growing magical energy.
Twilight glanced over at Rarity, who had been separated from her by appearance of the guards, and they both nodded at each other.
Energy rained down on them both as they turn and fled, bursting through the side doors on opposite sides of the entrance room.
Twilight immediately spun once she made it through doorway and, with a grunt of effort, tore the door from its hinges. She brought it to bear as a giant club, sweeping all of the hooves out from under the guards, then raising it up in time to block lances of fire from the pursuing dolls.
She galloped through the hallways, smashing aside anything that got in her way. New dolls lurked in every corner, waiting to spring out and pounce and stab, but the force and fury of Twilight Sparkle was not an easy foe to be reckoned with. She couldn’t see the strings that Rarity had so easily disabled, and her magic couldn’t affect the dolls directly, so she instead used the mansion itself as her weapon: slamming them into walls, slamming walls into them, throwing vases and expensive looking busts. At one point, she found a statue holding a well crafted sword, and was now wielding the weapon to devastating effect.
After several minutes of chase and fight, Twilight paused to catch her breath in what appeared to be an art gallery of some sort, the door barricaded behind her. She hoped Rarity was faring well on her own. She was a clever unicorn, but lacked Twilight’s magical strength and skill.
It was time to stop running, and put an end to this.
A plan for counterattack came to her nigh instantly. As a puppet master, Mari probably hadn’t left the main room, choosing instead to seek them out through the extended senses granted to her by her dolls.
If Twilight was to simply charge in, she’d likely find an army of dolls blocking her path.
But failing to account for multiple dimensions in tactical planning was a fairly common mistake.
Spreading her wings and readying her sword, Twilight teleported directly above the spot where she had last seen Mari, and dove.
She collided with empty air, and spun, ready for a trap to be sprung.
“Rarity!” Twilight called out, nearly dropping her sword in shock as she saw what was waiting for her.
At the bottom of the stairs, Rarity was strung up, suspended in midair and spread eagled, thin wires wrapped tightly around her legs and neck. The strings were all attached to dolls, scattered across the room as if they were all prepared to pull them even tighter. “T-twilight! Help!”
Mari let out another cackle as she stepped forward, looking up at Twilight. “Glad you could finally make it. Your weakness is your friends, Princess Twilight Sparkle. I can’t believe how easy this was.”
Twilight growled, leveling her sword. “Let her go, Mari. I’m the one you want anyway, right?”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Mari said. She raised a hoof, and the dolls all pulled a little tighter, causing Rarity to shriek. “She’s quite the talented mare, and her ability to disable my dolls is quite troublesome. Certainly can’t have that now, can we?”
“Fine.” Twilight let out a sigh, then tossed her sword to the ground. “Look, I’ve been through this schtick before. What do you want, my magic? My cutie mark? My title? For me to leave you alone? My collection of autographed first edition prints of Daring Do?”
Mari licked her lips, then rubbed her hoof against her chin. “Anything I want from a princess, in exchange for the life of her friend… it’s a tempting thought. What should I ask for, I wonder?”
Twilight grimaced, but said nothing. Why couldn’t the map have sent more of them? With just a bit more backup, she wouldn’t be in this predicament.
“But here’s the thing, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Mistress Starlight has told me oh so much about you. Friendship is Magic, after all. It’s the source of your power, the reason for your ascension. How you’ve stopped so many ‘villains’ in the past. I wonder what would happen if you gave that up, instead?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, I could never—”
The strings tightened around Rarity again, and she let out a strangled scream.
Twilight half leapt forward, her eyes wide. “Stop it, what do you think you’re doing!?”
Mari laughed, mad light twinkling in her eyes. “Your friends make you powerful, Twilight! So when they’re gone, what does that make you? Let’s find out!”
“Stop! Rarity!”
Rarity’s screams were cut sickeningly short as every string cut in and her form scattered across the floor.
Twilight’s heart stopped, her eyes locked onto the unbelievable nightmare strewn out before her. This wasn’t real. It wasn’t actually happening. There was no way something like this could be true.
They had come here, together, just to solve a simple friendship problem. Sure, things had gotten a little more violent than usual, but this was just...
Rarity couldn’t really be…
Rarity was…
Twilight screamed, white hot rage filling every fiber of her being. Her horn erupted with magical energy and her mane began to crackle with power. The strength she held when she had fought Tirek seemed miniscule by comparison.
She has to pay.
“That look on your face! It’s priceless. I wish I had a camera, so—”
Twilight launched herself through the air, flying towards Mari as if shot out of a cannon, her hoof raised. The shield dolls raised up to intercept her, but she punched through them as if they were plywood, and slammed full force into Mari.
The teenaged mare slammed into the wall, leaving a sizeable dent in the wood, and crumpled to the ground.
Mari coughed up blood, whimpering. “W-what? That’s not possible. Stop her!”
It’s not enough.
The numerous dolls in the room launched towards her.
Maybe they were resistant to the direct application of magic, but with a few dozen isolated pockets of superheated air, they were reduced to ashes in less than a second.
“N-no, that’s not what she said would happen.” Mari scrambled backwards as Twilight advanced. “You can’t be this strong. Why isn’t it working!”
It would only be fair to deliver the same in return, right?
Twilight levitated Mari up into the air, restraining her in the same way Rarity had been. She tugged on her limbs lightly.
Mari screamed, tears streaming down her face. “No, please, don’t! I’m sorry, it was just a—”
“Sorry?” Twilight growled, tugging a little harder. “Just how many chances did I give you again? You really think there’s anything you can say to get you out of this?”
Unforgivable.
She has to die.
“Y-you wouldn’t…”
Watch me.
“Twilight? What’s going on?”
Before Twilight could deliver the final blow, she heard a voice from behind her. Slowly she turned around to see a roughed up, but very much alive, Rarity standing in the doorway.
“R-Rarity?” Twilight sputtered, dropping Mari to the ground. “That’s impossible, you’re…”
Kill her!
Rarity strode forward, limping slightly. “I twisted an ankle, and I am a bit bruised up, but those dolls weren’t so tough. The guards were all tied up with strings too, so I was able to deal with them fairly quickly as well. Some sort of mind control, I reckon. I’m otherwise fine. Twilight, please, what’s wrong?”
Twilight’s eyes tracked down to where she had seen Rarity die just moments before.
The mangled ‘corpse’ of Rarity lay in a pile of stuffing, its beady glass eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.
Twilight turned back to the sobbing, bloody, and broken mare, bruises already forming around the limbs where Twilight had almost done the same thing.
She would have done it if she actually had Rarity! She deserves to die!
Twilight turned and emptied the contents of her stomach on the nearby wall.
“Oh dear.” Rarity made her way over to Twilight and began stroking her mane. “It’s alright, Twilight. I’m alive and well, I promise. It was just an illusion.”
When she had finished, Twilight turned to face Mari again, but couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes.
“Just what were you thinking to accomplish with a trick like that, hmm?” Rarity asked, standing over Mari. “That’s a pretty cruel joke pull on anypony.”
Mari coughed, wiping at her mouth. “Starlight said that if she lost one of her friends, Twilight would fall apart. I guess she kind of did… wasn’t expecting it to be this personal.”
Rarity clicked her tongue, shaking her head. “Starlight Glimmer… just what in Equestria were you hoping to accomplish here?”
“To create the perfect society,” Mari said, her eyes still defiant. “My dolls watch over everypony, keeping them safe and in line.”
“That’s a far cry from everypony being equal,” Twilight groaned, leaning against the wall. “Sure, she was a tyrant at heart, but this doesn’t really match her pattern.”
“My master’s plans are far too grand for somepony as simple as you to understand.”
“I’d slap you,” Rarity drawled, rolling her eyes, “but you’ve already been through enough. You are still just a kid, after all. Just try to remember that you’ve already lost, and act the part.”
Twilight frowned, rising to her feet. “She gave you something, didn’t she? Something to amplify your magic. You couldn’t have managed these feats of magic all on your own.”
Mari looked away. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
With a roll of her eyes, Twilight fired up her horn and, searching specifically for magical signatures, found and pulled what appeared to be a small button out of Mari’s dress pocket. The kind that might be used for an eye on a doll.
She was immediately hit with another rush of power.
Kill her!
Twilight cast a quick spell to contain the energies of the button and slipped it into her pack. “A dark magical artifact. Amplifies energies, but at a cost to your morality and sanity. We’ve seen the like before with Trixie and the Alicorn Amulet. I think it wanted me to win. So I could use it myself.”
Mari spat. “What are you going to do with me now?”
“Hmm, that’s a good question.” Rarity began to pace back and forth. “I suppose the nice thing to do would be to bring you to the princesses. Though perhaps it might be best if we just give you to the villagers. They’re the independent sort, after all.”
“Whatever,” Mari mumbled, hanging her head. “I guess it doesn’t matter.”
Twilight sat at one of the tables in Journey’s Rest, sipping at a delicious bowl of hot soup.
The villagers had been tepidly optimistic that their despotic teenaged doll master was no longer lording over them, but were apprehensive about their lack of protection from the outside world. and rather miffed that help had come from outsiders rather than from within.
“I can’t thank you enough,” Peony said, setting their drinks on the table. “Mari used to be such a sweet girl. We’ll take care of her. I’m sure she’ll come back to her right mind eventually. And though he won’t say it, Stein is really thankful as well. He used to be captain of the guard, but when she brainwashed all of his troops… well, it’s done and over with now.”
Twilight nodded her thanks, and sipped at the mug of warm cider. “You know, this doesn’t feel like much of a victory.”
Rarity nodded, idly tracing a hoof around the edge of her mug. “I know what you mean.”
“Good job with those strings, though. How did you manage it?”
“How do you think, dear?” Rarity said, tossing her hair back and throwing Twilight a wink. “I just have a good eye for detail, that’s all.”
Twilight smiled. “I guess the map knows its stuff after all.”
Rarity’s smile faded, and she looked back down at her drink. “I really thought that Starlight Glimmer learned her lesson the last time. Or at least wasn’t stupid enough to try the same thing twice.”
“It’s different though, that’s what I can’t get.” Twilight banged her head against the table. “She was very invested in the whole equality thing, even if she didn’t practice it herself. Why the change in tactics?”
“Well, it’s not as if we have enough information to truly form a pattern.”
“Unless…” Twilight throat suddenly went dry. “It’s an experiment; she’s testing out different models of government and holding control, to see what works best. To see what we’re capable of stopping. And this time, she’s doing it through puppets, so she’s not in direct danger.”
“Oh dear.” Rarity swallowed. “But what about Mari? Surely she knew what would happen if she instructed Mari to challenge us directly, especially with that trick she pulled.”
Twilight shuddered. “The kid was a sacrifice. Probably so she knows more about what we’re capable and our limits the next time. She’s still out there, and probably trying different things in different towns all over Equestria.”
Rarity let out a long sigh. “Guess we’ve got our work cut out for us.”
“I’m going to find her, and stop her.”
They sat there in silence for several minutes, sipping at their drinks before Rarity finally spoke up again. “Twilight, are you sure you’re alright? What happened back there… must of been distressing.”
“I…” Twilight bit her lip, looking away. “I thought I had better control over myself than that, but when I thought I had lost you…”
Rarity shook her head. “You don’t have to beat yourself up. I can’t say I would have reacted much differently if I saw that happen to you, or any of our friends, even without the influence of a dark artifact.”
Twilight shook her head. “It’s no excuse. She’s just a kid.”
“Well, I’m here and alive right now, and I have every intention of staying that way for quite some time.” Rarity finished her glass, draining it to the last drop and making a face. “I’m not normally one to indulge so much, but quite frankly, it’s been a long day, and I think the situation warrants it. How about we drown our sorrows, hmm? Just don’t tell Applejack about this.”
Twilight cracked a smile, then raised her glass. “Alright, sure. I like the sound of that.”
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I like this. I really do.
This was fantastic! I was a bit off-put by the quick pacing, but for a one-shot and a contest entry, I loved it. Great atmosphere, action was fun, and seeing Twilight finally be confident in her magical abilities was a real treat.
Hm...
Are you by any chance planning a few other one-shots in the same vein? Because that would be intriguing.
6411505 I love me some open endings that I might continue eventually, but I doubt it in this case. Show starts up again in 2 days, and will tackle the Starlight Glimmer thing soon enough. But for a flash in the pan adventure story, I think it does its job.
6411516
Yeah, I see your point. Still, at the rate the cutie map has been activating (I don't get why they bothered emphasizing it so much in the premiere when it's only come into play once since), there might be a niche for creating a headcanon of additional adventures.
Pretty sure you meant "button" here.
Rarity drawling seems weird, and I don't really see her saying "I reckon" like this.
Anyway, still like this thing overall.
I reviewed this story!
My review can be found here.
Liked it in the write-off, and now I am glad the story is out there for the audience.
Writing good action is not really easy, so congratulations!
Great job!
Favorited entirely to see if I can't get you a signal boost, even the smallest one.
Short, rollicking action adventure that doesn't completely contradict the show is hard to write, but I think you pulled it off here. Congrats.
???? Killing an alicorn best friend in front of her, yet not expect immediate, brutal retribution? I guess Starlight chose Mari because her suicidal level of stupidity.
Just after playing Warcraft III was the perfect time to read this. Loved every minute, and the one button to rule them all cracked me up. I think that what you have going here is actually a much better story than anything Hasbro will come up with for Starlight, you should consider continuing it.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
Well, cool story brah. I like the idea of evil Starlight doing tests on different types of control, mostly when she has the logic not to be directly in harms way. Also, why did Mari ever even think it would be a good idea to murder an alicorn's friend right in front of her? What did she THINK would happen?
P.S. Why do I never know what to write in these comments?!? IT PAINS ME.
involved in
maybe "tighter around" instead of "closer to?"
two periods
When walking normally, pony heads are situated higher than rumps. This is even more true for Twi, who is slightly taller. For Twi to run into Rarity and bump her HEAD, she would have had to be running with her head down, like a charging bull. And even if she were running like that, I'd think she'd rub her horn after the collision, not her head. Rarity should have reacted too - even if horns aren't sharp enough to cut, they're pointy enough to hurt when enough force is applied!
either "hoping to ask" or "wondering if we could ask."
pony-sized
well-repaired
Rarity "puffed herself up" a little while ago.
"the" is probably part of the name, so capitalize. I also suggest to either use quotation marks or italicize the title.
This was jarring. Up until this line, Stein was surly, tight-lipped, and a bit threatening. This line doesn't fit at all with that personality - it's downright trolling, especially when it's drawled. It's something Harry Dresden would say.
I suggest just 'weapon', since it's just her horn.
as
led, not lead.
the appearance
turned
the doorway
perhaps "behind" would be more appropriate, especially since they're waiting to spring out and pounce and stab.
well-crafted
white-hot. I also dislike "every fiber of her being." It's tacky and overused.
Rarity using the word "reckon?" O_o;
TO pull. Also, Mari should facehoof at this. "Uh, hello? Super evil villain here? Of course it's cruel."
Instead of pointing out the cruelty, she should point out the uselessness of the tactic. Or her stupidity in throwing away what could have been a hostage.
this is way too similar to “Just what were you thinking to accomplish with a trick like that, hmm?” which was just a couple paragraphs prior.
Capitalize and, or change the . to a ,
capable of
I enjoyed the story a lot, and agree that you should submit it to EQD!
That was absolutely stunning in every way, shape and form.
But did anyone else get a 'Puppet To Her Fame' vibe?
Forgive me for pointing out typos and such as I notice them, along with my ongoing thoughts on the story.
Extra period here.
Unnecessary comma.
Interesting. "Mari" possibly being a Welsh term for "mare" (Welsh has appropriated many English words and just made them welshy so nobody really knows if it's a synonym for caseg. The English did their level best to exterminate Welsh language and culture.) and best known from Mari Lwyd, the name of both the custom and the creepy prop made from a horse skull.
led
Eeeeeh, you lost me in the middle, here where Twilight talks with Mari. The conversation seems forced. Mari's personality seems inconsistent from one sentence to the next, and Twilight and Rarity both seem to be holding the idiot ball. This conversation was clearly set up to build the conflict between Mari and them - not by a clever villain, but by the author.
I wanted to like this, but it feels like work to slog through. The awkward prose was tolerable until the dialogue got too forced. Sorry.
Hey there Oroboro! I did a reading of your story for my Halloween special! It's premiering on Halloween at 3:00 AM EST!