• Member Since 12th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 27th, 2013



Princess Celestia lies unconscious without explanation… And the sun refuses to rise. Desperate, Luna calls upon her Sister’s faithful student for help in an effort to enter the Princess of the Sun’s mind through a dreamscape to find the cause of her mysterious coma.

But once they enter, finding themselves in a place of magic itself, a place where a pony’s fears, dreams and histories manifest themselves as worlds of epic proportions, are the two mares ready for what they find inside?

An action fantasy novella.
Featured on EqD!

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 267 )

Makes me think of that part in Eternal. Love the concept though and I'll make sure to read it later tonight.
Here, take this star and green thumb, you'll need them!

Well... that was f***ing awesome! I mean with the subconscious and the dreamscape and the magic! And the BIMBAMBOPPITYBAP!:derpyderp2:
Blew my mind.

by the description it makes me think of apotheosis. if it is even somewhat similar I know this will be epic. going in my read later for now, once a few updates come along I'll start.
do I sense a TwiLuna? that would make me happy

I've been looking forward to your next story Mystic. Will sit down and read this when I get the chance, I know it's going to be good.

676837 Eternal is a great story, haha. I hope you enjoy this one!

676842 Haha, thanks!

676843 I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading. :pinkiehappy:

676846 Thank you!

676854 Apotheosis... oh yeah, haha. Daetrin's work has always been a huge inspiration for me. I hope you like it!

677110 Well, hopefully it holds up, haha. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on it!

677737 so will there be TwiLuna or do they just happen to be in this epic adventure together?

Yes. Eternal is simply amazing, Apotheosis too, even if much more older.. :twilightsheepish:

I enjoyed it a lot, and can't wait for more.

The way you describe things, no - everything, is impressive.

I managed to imagine quite an amazing picture of what you describe in your story thanks to that.

It's beautiful. Thank you for writing this.

677772 Unfortunately, no TwiLuna in this story. :unsuresweetie: But yes for the epic adventure!

677790 Awesome, I'm glad you liked it! I have some pretty cool stuff coming your way in this story, so hopefully you enjoy that as well.

677882 hmm...a subtle friendshipping would be in order then because if they just keep distant throguh an adventure like this it'd be unrealistic but I can respect your decision

677932 Oh definitely! Haha. There is certainly 'friendshipping'; it drives character development, after all.

677966 i'll settle for that. will start reading sometime when i'm not exhausted or pressured for updates

A solid concept, a solid start, and one disembodied upwards-facing thumb have you earned, my dear.

You haven't failed to disappoint - and like Rumble said, this reads incredibly similarly to Apotheosis, which is probably the best fic to try to compare this with. Of course, it goes without saying that, comparisons aside, this is one of the better adventure fics I've seen.

It certainly brought a smile to my face, that's for sure. I can't wait for the next chapter!

I approve of this concept wholeheartedly. Like Psychonauts played straight, basically. Of course, this'll take a lot of skill to pull off,so we'll see once I've read it.


You haven't failed to disappoint

Are you sure that's what you meant to say? :pinkiesad2: Because the rest of your comment praises the story and this lone statement says Mystic disappointed you. That's what you get when using too many negations in a sentence. :rainbowlaugh:

Unless I read that sentence completely wrong. Let me break it down...
'You haven't failed' is along 'you did/you managed' plus 'to disappoint'... Nope, still negative. :twilightblush:
So I'm guessing you either meant 'you haven't failed to amaze' or 'you failed to disappoint'.

A little Twilight-style grammatical analysis. :moustache: I'm warning you of this because I was close to making such a mistake myself once. Luckily, I failed to make it in the end. :yay:

EDIT: The more I think about it, the more it's driving me crazy! :pinkiecrazy:
disappoint = not meet expectations
fail to disappoint = not disappoint = meet expectations
not fail to disappoint = not not disappoint = disappoint = not meet expectations

Please, can some grammar Nazi clear this up for me? It's driving even Twilight crazy:

Oh, and to comment on the fic... Well, I really can't right now, but when my to-read list shrinks from over 200 fics :facehoof: I'll be sure to give it a go. Maybe it will be marked complete by the time. :pinkiehappy:

Argh. I'm in the process of making a fanfic of my own, and reading this makes my writing feel so inferior that I want to quit and wallow in self-pity, like Rarity. :raritycry::raritydespair:

Nah, I won't. But you're so far ahead in terms of quality it's staggering. I've got a lot to work on...

Looking forward to more of this.

Concept reminds me of "The Regal Dream" and therefore I'm quite interested :pinkiehappy:

Damn dude, this is amazing! I love this concept and you're writing it beautifully look forward to reading more chapters! :pinkiehappy:

Interesting. A realm of fire and wonder and a realm of darkness and night. I sense there is a deeper more cosmic force at work here besides Celestia and her dreams.

The ending to this chapter was pretty sad, actually. At least in my opinion. I hope Luna and Twilight meet up soon, they need to fix Celestia! Great story!! :pinkiehappy:

my guess is luna is the gusts of wind...

676843 I believe the correct quoting of it is zimzamzobittybop

Sincerely the Doctor

677966 Hey, I'm one of the Admins of the S.A.B page. You posted the link so I decided to have a look. Awesome story, thumbs up, Favorited and watching:twilightsmile:

679922 Fantastic, I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed it! I'm not gonna lie, Apotheosis was definitely a big inspiration, as I love Daetrin's work. Here's hoping this doesn't fall down too hard! Haha :trollestia:

680522 I have no idea what Psychonauts is, but either way, I certainly hope you enjoy it!

680567 Hahahaha, You're doing a Twilight! :twilightsmile: This story should be done in a few weeks, so I'd say it definitely would be, haha. Hopefully you find the time to check it out! :pinkiehappy:

680595 Haha, I wouldn't say staggering... Keep writing and best of luck! Thanks for the comment, and thanks for reading!

680668 I have no idea what that is, but I hope you like the story regardless! :twilightsmile:

680682 Hahah, thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

680931 Hehe. Isn't symbolism and metaphor fun?

681350 I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for the comment!

681360 Speculation! I love it!

681681 Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

682119 Haha, thank you! I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for the watch! :twilightsmile:

682275 Hahahaha, nothing more to say, really!

Sweet Apple Acres! You're right, that totally came out wrong.
Here's to the grammar nazi! May you be showered with great praise!
I meant what you said - something about amazement and stuff :rainbowlaugh:

(Not as much as Mystic though. She deserves all the praise.)

- MS

(All of it.)

Well hello there author. I'm pleased to see you getting a good response to your work, and I look forward to the next chapter.
Cheers mate :)

682369 My favourite!

682716 Haha, thank you for all of your help! It really means a lot, and I hope you continue to enjoy this little adventure of mine, haha.

Wow...That was awesome, you do a very good job of describing image! very beautiful and the city slowly darkening was awesome!

can't wait for more chapters :pinkiehappy:

682766 I'm glad you're enjoying it! Description is my favourite part of writing, so I'm thrilled to hear that you think I'm doing alright with it, haha. Thanks for the comment!

Dang, Rated PonyStar had it right. There was so much of the stuff it was almost painful, but that's the deal with writing a dream fic, or even a simple dream sequence, It either has to be so full of symbolism you can taste it, or go through some buried event from the past.
(Spoiler alert!) I'm just going to take a guess, the city represented the early days of Celestia and Luna's rule, as do the orbs, it's fading and crumbling represented the creep of Luna's bitterness and how Celestia blames herself for not seeing it sooner, the murals depict the dawn of creation, and apparently the subsequent war that followed, the statues are her vanquished foes, and the final destruction represents Luna's final break into Nightmare Moon. I may be wrong but if I'm not than the only thing that stumped me were the seven chairs, if there had been six than I could assume that they were the Elements of Harmony, unless of course you're counting Love, then seven would make sense. The chairs are the only ones I'm not sure of. I can't make any verdict on this new world as we haven't been shown much of it yet. So, Mystic, am I right, I can has cookie?:derpytongue2:

Well now, looks like I have a new fic to follow and read. This is. . .curious, to say the least. Liking the concept and execution. I'm gonna hope it just gets better from here! I need a new epic story to read.

I see you decided to waste no time getting into Celestia's mind- first chapter, and we've already lost the Sun Goddess. Poor Celestia x.x
Good chapter, faster pacing then I expected...though you described it as a novella, not a novel, so that's understandable (and I, personally, could use a break from the digital tomes of pony words I've been subjected to :raritydespair: ). Also, Luna's thing about calling Twilight by her full name seems a little inconsistent- It would make sense for her to break that habit over time, but if that's the case, it may be best to draw it to attention (possibly minor development), or just sticking with one. Honestly, I probably would do the same thing for one reason- I go to great lengths just to avoid using the same word twice in a row, so I'm being a bit of a hypocrite >_>

P.S: I just have to ask: A story where Celestia passes out, so Luna and Twilight go into her mind to help her, and the first two chapters are called "Eternal"? You didn't get inspiration from DH, did you? People that do things similar to him around him get their kneecaps broken with a wrench. Specifically this wrench :flutterrage: Or he writes a blog about you, which is probably worse lol

682969 Haha, I hate to say this, but I'm not gonna say anything for fear of spoilers! Some stuff I'm not going to say simply because it's stronger left up to the reader's imagination. You're on the right track with a heap of stuff though, if that's any consolation!

Thanks for reading, and I hope you like what's to come! And yes, you can have a cookie :pinkiehappy:

683676 Thanking you for reading! I hope you enjoy what's to come :twilightsmile:

683700 You got that right; there is no time wasted with this story! The fic has 3 chapters broken up into 6 parts, and it's currently sitting around 30k words, and it moves like a freight train for most of it. Also, unless I have been slack and missed parts, Luna names Twilight in certain ways depending on her emotional state at the time, so if she says Twilight Sparkle opposed to Twilight, it's for a reason.

And no, haha. I love Eternal, but Apotheosis is a much bigger influence for this story than Eternal is! As for why the chapter is called eternal... everything means something! Haha. Thanks for reading, Lunar! :heart:

When this appeared on EqD the Picture literaly drew me right in.

Reading the first 2 Chapters I say you have a very solid start and I am definitely interested where this goes. Featuring my favorite Characters I wonder will you switch PoV between Chapters?

also even though I am a DieHard TwiLuna :twilightsmile::heart:dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png Fan

I am ok with just Friendshipping or no shipping at all :pinkiegasp: if the Adventure is done right whitch it seems very much so far.

684763 Haha, yeah, the artwork is epic! :pinkiehappy: If this story were longer, then I probably would take the time to switch between pov's, but as it stands, Luna shouldn't be too far away... What situation she is in however... well, all I'll say is that it should be good fun! Thanks for the comment!

Veeery nice fantasy-scape you're painting here for the dream world. Can't wait to see what you've got in store for what seems to be Luna's equivalent scape. :D

686312 Haha, thanks! I hope you enjoy what's to come!

Love it so far. Interested in what's to come! :)

687939 Haha, Thanks! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it!

You need to finish this as soon as possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can stop thinking about whats gonna happen its freaking me out really good story!!!:pinkiehappy: like seriously!!!!!!! i need to know whats wrong with :trollestia:

689353 Haha, don't worry; the rest shouldn't be too long in coming out! I'm glad you're enjoying it, and thanks for the comment! :twilightsmile:

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