5C0074100

by Nephilinae

ProbeBootUp.exe

Light pierced the small opening between Scootaloo’s eyelids. Cracking an eye open, she saw the mouth of her alley and the bright colors of dawn reflecting off fresh and fluff snow.

She stood up and stretched like a cat, yawning as she did so.

Wow did she feel good! Best night of sleep she ever had!

Good morning Scootaloo! Today is December 17! The weather in Ponyville is clear at a -2 degrees Celsius! The weather around Planet HJD-63826 is clear, but expecting minor asteroid debris showers later in the day!

“Eep!” Scootaloo squeaked, jumping extraordinarily high for a filly standing still.

I am your personal assistant AI, here to help you to learn everything there is to know about being a cyborg

Suddenly memories from last night returned to Scootaloo.
“Oh no.”

Would you like to configure your settings?

“Settings? Cyborg? Like in Spike’s comics?” Scootaloo asked, looking around for anything that might be an “AI”, whatever that was.

Cyborg: Noun, an organic being who has parts of their body replaced by machine parts of equal, or better limitations

“Uh… look, dude?” Scootaloo guessed, seeing as she couldn’t guess the gender of the voice. “You’ve got the wrong filly, I’m not here to take over the world.”

Incorrect, you have had the UTT’s standard cyborg package installed. Which includes: Neural upgrades, Fusion reactor, Nanite Hive, and Matter replicator.

“I understand none of those words.” Scootaloo stated, still looking around. “Also, how’d I get here? I was running away from Ponyville.”

Incorrect: adjective. Not in accordance with fact.

“No! I mean I don’t know what fancy things like a ‘neural upgrade’ is!” Scootaloo exclaimed. Suddenly a perfectly clear image of a outline of a pony that looked suspiciously like Scootaloo appeared in the corner of her vision.

Neural upgrade: the matter that made up your brain and spinal column, has been redistributed and replaced by a positronic computer.

The area that made up a brain on a doctor’s diagram in their office was highlighted a bright pink, and then slowly molded into an angular blue shape that only resembled a brain.

“B-buh that only raises more questions!” Scootaloo protested.

Proper education now added to the schedule

Scootaloo groaned.

“Fine whatever, I’ll just ask Ms. Cheerilee.” Scootaloo grunted, stomping off into the snow covered street.

This Assistant AI navigated your chassis while your positronic brain was forced to shut down.

“Still using words I can’t understand…” Scootaloo grunted.

Would you like to configure your settings?

“No!” The orange filly shouted, causing a nearby plow stallion to pause and look at her strangely.

You are able to communicate just by thinking at the recipient, provided they also have cybernetics.

“Oh shut up.” Scootaloo grunted quietly as she made her way towards Sugar Cube Corner.

Sugar Cube Corner, the only breakfast bakery in Ponyville, would be up bright eyed and bushy tailed very early to meet the morning rush every day. Pinkie, either on accident, or because she knew about Scootaloo, would usually declare a random muffin a day “unfit to be sold”, but would wrap it in a bag and leave it within easy reach in the garbage can. Which Scootaloo took advantage of and made sure to grab it everyday… Even if she tried to be sneaky about it.

One quick garbage can looting later, Scootaloo sat on the school house steps eating her muffin. However she noted she wasn’t at all hungry. She didn’t know if it was coincidence or because whatever the invisible thing did to her. She shrugged and took another bite.

It wasn't like the cyborgs in Spike’s comics ever ate muffins. Maybe it was a prank by a Sweetie or some other unicorn she knew, because it clearly wasn’t a physical prank. Although such a deep and cunning prank wasn’t like Sweetie at all. With that in mind it also clearly couldn’t be Snips or Snails. So what other unicorn did she have a beef with?

“‘Sup blank flank?”

Nope, she wasn’t a unicorn.

“Not in the mood Diamond.” Scootaloo grunted, finishing her muffin.

“Oh? Flightless hobo not get any sleep last night?” The pink Diamond Tiara responded, striking a pose before prancing to sit on the steps with Scootaloo.

“Not saying.” Scootaloo stated, getting up to go play on the playground before class started. Not to be deterred, Diamond also hopped up and followed.

“Oh come on, has the chicken lost her teeth?” Diamond asked smugly.

“Seriously Diamond, back off.” Scootaloo stated, walking to the swing set, that way she’d have the excuse of “accidentally” kicking Diamond’s teeth in.

“Hmph!” Diamond huffed. “Something’s eating you and I’m going to find out what it is!”

“Kay.” Scootaloo grunted, sitting on the swing set and beginning to rock back and forth. Diamond huffed again and stomped away, heading to the front door as Ms. Cheerilee unlocked the building.

Slowly but surely, the rest of the class showed up. With Applebloom and Sweetie Belle walking together as they always did.

“‘Sup Bloom, ‘sup Sweets.” Scootaloo greeted, leaping off her swinging seat.

“Howdy Scoots.” Applebloom responded.

“Hey Scootaloo.” Sweetie squeaked.

“You guys wouldn’t believe the night I had.” Scootaloo began.

Alert! Probable Comprisization of Prime Directive on current course of action! Do not continue!

“Slept better than I’ve had in weeks.” Scootaloo sighed, not being able to bring herself to mention the strange voice only she seemed to hear.

Sweetie belle and Applebloom looked at each other.

“... Really? During that storm?” Bloom responded quizzically.

“Yeah, I thought ponies weren’t supposed to sleep outside.” Sweetie contributed.

“Sorry by the way, after last week Ah’m still grounded from having friends over.” Bloom apologized.

“Same, Rarity is still livid.”

“It’s cool guys, no harm no foul.” Scootaloo stated, feeling a slight twinge of discomfort in her chest.

The tolling of the school bell rang across the white fluffy snow.

“Oh crap! We’re gonna be late!” Sweetie chirped, jumping into the air and galloping in place for a bit before zipping off.

A quick glance at Applebloom and a shared shrug later, Scootaloo and Applebloom followed, at a less hasty pace of course.

Inside the school house, which was beginning to lose its crisp morning chill to a portable heater in the corner, students milled around looking for their seats, while Ms. Cheerilee stood at the front of the desk waiting for everypony to take their seats.

As Scootaloo passed by the older pony, she cleared her throat.

“Ms. Cheerilee? What does ‘positronic’ mean?” She asked politely. Cheerilee looked down with a puzzled expression.

“...Where on earth did you hear that word?” She asked, genuinely confused.

“Comic book.” Scootaloo lied easily.

“Well, I’ve never heard that word myself honestly.” Ms. Cheerilee replied after a moment's thought.

“Drat.” The orange filly cursed, continuing on her way.

“The hay kind of comic has that in it?” Applebloom stage whispered.

“No idea, it was one of Spike’s.” Scootaloo replied in kind.

If she also had her big sister’s ability to detect lies, or just really confused, Applebloom dropped the subject and slid into her seat. Already terribly bored, Scootaloo plopped into her seat right behind Applebloom.

“Alright class, we’ll start today off by discussing your assigned reading.” Cheerilee began, slipping into lecture mode when Scootaloo was finally seated.

After that, Scootaloo stopped paying attention.

Positronic? Positronic… She rolled the word around in her head.

Positronic Brain: Noun. A CPU designed for use by robots, androids, and cyborgs to achieve a state of consciousness that emulates; or more commonly, outright is, a self aware person.

Not expecting an answer Scootaloo squeaked loudly, drawing the attention of the whole class.

“Is something wrong Scootaloo?” Ms. Cheerilee asked.

Still reeling, Scootaloo let out a stammered “N-nope! No-Nothing wrong at all!”

Cheerilee then eyed the orange filly, suspecting a lie, but couldn’t find anything obvious to prove her hunch. So she started lecturing again.

Now sweating, Scootaloo waited a moment to at least pretend she was paying attention.

What the hay voice?! She thought as loudly as she could.

Better, but needs improvement

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. Clearly this… “AI” was messing with her. Or at least whoever was behind this prank. She glanced around, looking for anypony who was watching her directly for a reaction.

No one.

Even Diamond was scribbling in a notebook.

Scratching the back of her head in confusion, Scootaloo considered who else might prank her. She drew a blank.

The only ponies she knew how do do a spell like this were all adults, and they obviously were above pulling a fast one on a filly, even a filly who usually was a pest.

That lead now dead, she thought out loud again.

Who are you?

I am your personal assistant AI, designed and assigned to you at approximately 2342 local time last night.

Ok, who ‘assigned’ you to me?

I was spontaneously generated during your cybernetic implantment procedure, as is standard.

Ok but, WHY?

Cybernetics improves both productivity and quality of life, however it is stressful for the unprepared. It is much more efficient to assign an administrative AI to ease the new cyborg into machine life.

Scootaloo sighed.

Are you a prank?

Negative.

Stumped, the filly thought about more questions. Obviously, a prank wouldn’t admit it's a prank. But if it wasn’t a prank it still wouldn’t say its a prank. Now thoroughly out of ideas, Scootaloo’s eyes glazed over as Cheerilee’s lecture turned into a class discussion.