• Member Since 1st May, 2014
  • offline last seen Dec 10th, 2016

EvilZombieMinion


I write because the boredom and voices tell me to.

Comments ( 116 )

Ok, that was Hilarious! Lookin forwrd to more!

SIR! THIS RECRUIT WOULD LIKE TO INFORM THE TRAINING INSTRUCTOR THAT HE HAS RECEIVED A MILITARY HARD-ON AND UNTIL PROPERLY SATISFIED WILL HAVE DIFFICULTY FOCUSING ON HIS TRAINING, SIR! :rainbowdetermined2:

6401167 I hope that the new chapter keeps it going and thanks for the feedback!

6405753 GOD DAMMIT RECRUIT! YOU JUST HAD TO GO AND MAKE MY JOB THAT MUCH MORE GOD DAMN DIFFICULT! NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE MORE GOD DAMN DIFFICULT! YOU BEST NOT LET THAT GOD DAMN HARD-ON DISTRACT YOU FROM LEARNING WHAT I'M TRYING TO FORCE INTO THE SMALL UNWORTHY WASTELAND YOU CALL A BRAIN! I NEED YOU TO BE A COLD HEARTLESS UNSTOPPABLE KILLING MACHINE! NOW SHOW ME YOU'RE GOD DAMN BUCKING WAR FACE BEFORE I RIP OFF THAT USELESS SACK OF FLESH YOU CALL A FACE AND BLOW MY NOSE IN IT! NOW RECRUIT! DO IT, DO IT NOW!

:heart: the enthusiasm.

How did this guy make Sergeant? He's like the biggest security risk in Equestria with his habit of speaking aloud without realizing it.

reminds me of one of BronyWriter's fics.

"Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Princess Celestia, meet my very own Royal Snarcasti-guard. Half sarcasm, half snark, all awesome."

Thanks for finding all my mistakes and pointing them all out. I've gone back and corrected them, and I feel like a complete idiot for not realizing the one in the title. :facehoof:

6408215 OUTSTANDING RECRUIT! WE MAY JUST BE ABLE TO TURN YOU INTO A MEMBER OF THE GUARD YET, BUT DON'T GET COCKY.

Please tell me this isnt some fic where The Princesses are gonna get fucked by some Random Pony, I detest those kind of fics, just useless piece of Clop. if it aint I apologize for my outburst, and let me just say that so far I am enjoying this fic, you know how to make a person laugh.

6410857 This isn't going to turn into a clopfic and you have nothing to apologize for, it's a valid concern. If I did decide to do that I'd label the story to reflect that. However, I do plan I continue to use crude sexual humor like I have been at times do to how I see Shadow's character. Many bon grazies to you for the support, I hope I can at least continue to keep the quality of my writing where it is and I dare say maybe improve it. :raritywink:

6407499 MUWHAHA! I now understand your comment a lot better after ready BronyWriter's stories, I can easily see Shadow Walker fitting into TD's Snarcasti-guard with very little training. Thanks for the recommendation.

6407454 I hope I gave enough of a glimpse into how Shadow has made it as far as he has but left something to the imagination. Please let me knew.

This is what every NCO wishes they could say to their superiors, I love it! :rainbowlaugh:

Damn good chapter, sir. :rainbowdetermined2: Wish I would be able to have the same devotion to duty if the time ever comes.

Looks good. Keep up the good work!

I want to favorite this all over again.

Thanks for all the comments and feedback everyone, it does wonders for my delusions of grandeu. :trollestia:

I'm so excited to read the design of twilight's guard armor, and of course the special enchantments that twilight will add :twilightsmile: . Oh since he's the only guard shouldn't he get a title/rank, increase/change, like Knight Cross of the Twilight, or something? Loving the story can't wait for the next chapter. So many questions :pinkiehappy:

:rainbowdetermined2: Sir! This recruit would like to report some inconsistencies found:

After walking through the door Shadow stopped and waiting for Steel Bolt to close the door with his magic. When the door clicked closed and the wood hit together the sounds had an immediate effect.

"door, Shadow stopped and waited" and take off the wood bit and just say "the sound had an immediate effect."

Confusion, disbelieve, and uncertainty were clearly seen on their faces as their eyes moved in a manner that reflect that, as well as their voices.

"Disbelief" and "reflected"

“I thought you were going to end up in space somewhere or smashed like a pumpkin or thrown into a wall. You know something not pleasant,” Bolt offered with some humor added in his voice.

Add some commas to that list if you would :twilightsmile:

“I'll be done packing and all that in 'bout, half an hour or so.

Remove comma :facehoof:

“Oh, no. I'll be waiting here, again I'm not going to take any risks

Move comma to replace period, move that period to after "here", capitalize "again" and put the second comma after "Again" :twilightsheepish:

After pulling it off he could feel the magically enchantments it provided weaken as they began to weaken.

I would recommend "fade as they began to weaken" :twilightsmile:

began the process of donning the armor, taken fifteen minutes to back sure that it was properly worn.

"taking" and "make"

After securing the bag he gave it s few small bounces to test the fit.

a

“You ready to check the room and me Sergeant,” Shadow asked startling the unicorn.
“That was closer to twenty, not thirty, minutes Walker. Why so quick,” Bolt inquired as he got off the couch and stood up.

Both sentences should have Question marks :twilightsheepish:

“So you just dumped everything else into your bags without rhyme or reason,”

This one too :facehoof:
Actually, reread your story. Most of your dialog ends in commas which isn't proper sentence structure. :twilightoops:
img.memecdn.com/grammar-nazi_o_254474.jpg

6489272

:facehoof: The really sad part is English is my only language. I really should have paid attention to those English classes back in High School. Thanks for the feedback, I wouldn't have known without it. Did I use the comma right that time? :raritywink:

I'll add a review of my comma usage to my list of to do. Hope to see you back without awakening that guy.

6487303

Have you somehow read my notes?! :pinkiegasp: Those are all points I've lined up to write!

Thank you for the encouragement. Hope to you back when the next chapter goes up.

Comment posted by EvilZombieMinion deleted Oct 4th, 2015

6489895
I'll be here can't wait. Oh and my pinkie sense figured you had something lined up, if you ever need a sounding board or pre-reader let me know.:pinkiehappy:

HA! Stress relief. Good one.

As she unfolded them she looked over Shadow again since he was closer. This time she was able to see his rank devices on his collar, his name tape and above that was a pair of black wings on his left side of his chest.

Between the wings was a vertical spear with the blade pointing down in front of a crossed set of lighting bolts.

On the right side opposite of his name was a worn patch. At first glance it appeared to be replication of a simply 'Hello, I'm' name sticker. However, she actually read it Twilight realized it was and shook her head as she read it in its entirety.

'Hello, I'm A Badass!' After reading the patch Twilight decided to simply read for the rest of the trip.

Pony Special Forces act a lot like the ones we have for some reason, probably a military thing.

Never change, Shadow.

That ending, just that ending!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: Good way to end a Chap!:raritywink::trixieshiftleft::moustache:

6511378 Shadow's special but I don't know if I'd call him Special Forces. For the moment I see him as a member of an actually Guard unit and not a member of a ceremonial one. Regardless, military types in my experience act like they're the greatest thing ever. :rainbowdetermined2: I blame all the brainwashing and indoctrination we go through. :raritywink:

6511770 I'll admit this is the first time I've actually done a character like Shadow and didn't imagine I'd have this much fun with my writing. I'm hoping the development I've got in my notes goes well or explains well enough what has changed him.

6538056 Yeah, Shadow's a bit of a slow learner and enjoys messing with minds it seems. Also Twilight just seems so easy to play mind games on.

6511378 That was a last minute change I thought a could get more out of and it seems to have worked. :twilightsmile: Plus, it's factually.

Thanks for all the feedback! It's great knowing this is making people laugh. I'm still surprised and pleased I've got such positive feedback and reviews, I've got all of you to thank for that. Thanks for the time and hope to see you back next chapter.

P.S. Did I use that last comma right? :trollestia:

“It was kinda sexy.”

You almost made me waste a mouth-full of coffee.

As soon as he walked through the door on the main floor he was greeted by a loud bang

Surprised he didn't get in a ready stance after hearing cannon fire, he was artillery after all

At least out in the field nearly eveypony had a name tape to identify them.

SO TRUE :ajsmug:

6545193 Yeah and it's fun to write.

6562375 :twilightsheepish: Glad I was able to cause the response but also sorry for it.

6563044 With some people they do get into a ready stance and others just blink unfazed. There I was using it to set something else up to go with others incidents. Name tapes are so useful. Mostly in the mornings, after a night in a port call, and hungover. :pinkiesick:

Thanks for the comments! I'm glad you're enjoying yourselves.

There's a glaring omission in this chapter.

It ends without Shadow making a very unwise, but perfectly honest retort.

6586521 :pinkiegasp: Thanks for letting me know! I system crashed near the end of my writing and thought the auto save got everything! I didn't check before I uploaded, dumb on my part! :facehoof: I've added that to my checklist for my writings to help prevent this from happening again. Huge thanks again!

Another shout out to Bronzedragon! The feedback on my mistakes and errors helps clean up the story and make me a better writer. Thanks again Bronzedragon!

Post isn't really related to the story but I noticed after posting the newest chapter that all the suggested stories had the sex tag in them. :rainbowderp: :trollestia: How that happen? I haven't used the tag and only use sex for humor. Meh.

Lol. Nice chapter.

found these enjoy. Story doing well waiting for more.

“I've got to say the Guard unit here seems to be at the level I would except [ expect ] ???
“So that explains how I made ( ? ) so far and how screwed [ it ]

Dare I hope for Shadow vs high school students?

So your leadin in into Equestria Girls? 20% more Awesome!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

6611750 6614481 I do believe I've settled your pondering with this chapter. :yay: Now you have to wait to see what I have in store for those on the other side of the mirror. :trollestia:

6610519 Thanks once again for the feedback. I know I can't catch all my mistakes and having you catch them helps improve the story and my writing.

Good Grief... So smart and so stupid at once. Though I do wonder, we often see fics where Celestia's "mistakes" are just her orchestrating events, I'd love to see Shadow just melt down if that's the case in this story. That Celly gets so angry with him because dude keeps messing up her Batman Gambits ! Messing up planned events and not responding like a good little pawn when she reworks plans to place him where she wants.

i like Shadow and his deminor. i Think all of his critesism has a valid Point. but what i dont like is what you make Celestai and Luna do to him in the first chapter where they imlpy that Luna was going to kill him and where they just scared him out of his mind on a joke and then fire him for breach of conduct if I'm not mistaken and fire him even though its planly their fault.

Naturally, the first thing Shadow does after acquiring feet is insert them in his mouth.

I always look forward to new chapters, just for the sheer amount of laughs. Great chapter once again.

Do you even military and are you drunk?

1. No, but Luna does. If she'd had more flux she'd most likely have put guards.
2. That is a possibility. Or she just feels like allowing stupid shit to happen.

Howdy everyone! Sorry for the lack of an update last week, I was the sick and a typhoon to deal with. I'll be putting two chapters this update to make up for it. Also I'll be trying to find some extra time to put a chapter or some extra material in the bank to try and stop this from happening again.

Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving and not a cleverly disguised intervention. :trollestia:

6632680 For the your second part, yeah Shadow has a problem being the pawn other think he should be. As for your first, well I don't want to give anything away but I hope you check the recent update and ponder what it is. :trollestia:

6633085 If you're up to discussing how I could have done that better please PM me. I realized after rereading it I was looking at it as the author and not a reader. My intent was to have Shadow be the one that overreacts not Celestia and Luna. I failed to realize I was working with more then a reader would have.

6633747 Yeah, he's a real slow learning when it comes to speaking his mind.

6633758 Thanks for the feedback. I'm happy I can spread some madness, I mean laughter! Yes, laughter. :rainbowlaugh:

6640279 1. I can neither conform nor deny.
2. I can neither conform nor deny.
3. Why not both on number 2? :trollestia: Which I could also neither confirm nor deny.

Thanks for all the views and feedback. I hope this update's latest revel starts getting things interesting and different.

Hope everyone enjoys reading as much as do writing. All goes while I'll see you back, until then take it easy.

For some reason, I was hoping he'd avert the entire plot of Equestria Girls by smashing the display case, stealing the crown back, and being out of there in 30 seconds.

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