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you'd think after all of the things Twilight had to deal with would make it so she could handle anything, right? How's 9 alicorns who have almost no experience dealing with normal ponies? To top it all off, one of them wants to kill her! Of course, even that's not the only problem she has to deal with. What happens when she starts to get feelings for one of them......
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hey everypony. i'm pretty new to this whole thing so any opinions or questions you might have are more than welcome. just don't flame me or anything like that please. the goal of this story is to show that not all alicorn OCs are merry sues. hopefully i do a good jpb.
Interesting concept. Sounds promising. I look forward to seeing where you can take this.
Some constructive criticism: A couple things that stuck out were the abundance of spelling errors and the lack of space between paragraphs. They can be a bit distracting while trying to read it.
Thx I'll be sure to fix that.
Interesting so far. I think I'll enjoy it. Would you give me a hint as to who she falls for, I'm betting Nevermore the Prince of Death.
6403141 nope! but i think you can guess who pinky scored.
I find Morning Star's attitude towards Twilight amusing because Twilight is way better at blasting bad guys than she is at social interaction.
She helped take down Nightmare Moon, Discord, the Changelings, Sombra, Tirek, Sunset Shimmer, and Communist Twilight.
I bet she could take Morning Star, given sufficient motivation.
from
want to make something plural or singular? Your choice.
neighbor
Unless he's paying for something, I'm pretty sure it's fair.
There are more errors but I'll leave it at this for now. I love this concept. Especially Celestia forcing a bunch of Alicorns to "go make some friends!" Also, Princess of War under the same roof as the Princess of Friendship? And poor Ponyville, I'm not sure they're actually ready for Alicorns of all things. I mean evil villains, bug bears, magical freak outs are one thing, but this is another!
Well, damn Pinkie!!!
I mean I was preparing to ship this but I didn't even get a chance to finish building the thing before you jumped on board!!
Must have been the confetti cloud. That's like a love potion for the Pinkaminus Dianicus species of pony.
How do they know this???!!!! I must know!
Also it's actually not Pinky(the show misspelled her name a few times) but Pinkie.
A dragon bucket, while interesting, is probably not what you were going for. I believe you meant pale.
Poor Morning Star, I wonder who betrayed her?
Okay I want to hear what ships you all think are gonna happen in this thing now that all of the OCs are set.
for the record I'm not going to have any of the alicorns hooking up with each other. They WILL be getting together with cannon characters. 
6409525 Maud and Nevermore. The two whose emotions are too subtle for anyone else to pick up.
I think it'll be
Nevermore X Twilight
Mirth X Pinkie
Platinum Blitz X Rainbow Dash
That's all I can think of for now
I think you accidentally a verb.
Still an interesting story, but I'm noticing quite a few spelling and grammatical errors in these new chapters.
When brute force doesn't work, try even more brute force.
Morning Star cuts with the dull edge of the knife, doesn't she?
6483849 her thing is that she believes overwhelming force is the way the world works. Mentally, she's still on the battlefield and doesn't know how to leave.
And Fluttershy has a god mode ability why?
6620060 It's the Rainbow Power, remember at the end of season 4?
6620400 thank u.
Seems like the Rainbow Power hit her to hard in the head.
I kind of wondering if Pinkie Pie we'll be pregnant? It would be a great surprise and annoying Twilight
6683799 huh. That would be interesting.
I'll see if I can add that in somewhere.
too alsome for word please update when you can and I look forward to mode ch/storys
Oh wow... I totally forgot about this story is still going. It's been to long
I can't wait to see Twilight go crazy when she finds out Pinkie Pie is pregnant!
Oh Big Mac, you old farmer geezer. You got yourself a Nature Date!
Drunk Pinkie is terrifying. You'd think the Mayor would have passed a law about that.
"Some people, once they raise their swords, no longer know how to lower them again..."
Well, well, well, Big Mac! Think you can handle her?
Welcome to love. Cadence will be most pleased with these developments.
Nice beginning. I actually like all of the alicorns so far. Good introduction. I also find the direction this is going to be interesting...
I like your style, a few minor typos notwithstanding. I don’t judge too harshly there, as I have been guilty of a few myself from time to time.
I shall definitely continue on to see how the next chapter goes.
You may have lost me with the shipping.
I’ll give it one more chapter though. I did like Mirth’s entrance before it went ship-happy.
Good chapter. I’m back to intrigued again.
I like the alicorns, and I hope I’m not wrong to expect some more depth as we go forward with that angry one.
I’m still not liking the shipping... it is always best to tease before a payoff.
Flutterbold in morning his chapter.
Fluttersmash!
Flutterhacks!
Flutterhost! This is just too easy. :D
8580576
glad you're enjoying my clumsy first fic.
Ponyville is a friendly town... VERY friendly in this version.
No more?
I’d say you did a good job developing alicorns that had issues and didn’t feel like the dreaded Mary Sue. This story has some issues, but you already acknowledged as much, so I won’t rehash those.
I like your voice as a writer, so I will try another of your stories. Know that anything I say critical is meant to be helpful.
8582795
Understood and much appreciated
7372808
Drunk Pinkie is Funny. And at least everything goes back to normal.
6620060
Remember Tirek? Hell it was brought back when the Tantabus was revealed though admittedly that was in the Dream Realm. All of the element bearers have this.
Oh Discord is having so much Fun with this. This is so Chaotic and it is Fantastic!
7373092
Hehehehehahahahaha! Oh Celestia is gonna have a field day as well. She tasked them all with finding Friends. Some of them took it a Further step
Aww man!! That was a short .... 4 hours. Ok maybe it wasn't Short but still.. I'd like to see more of this story O liked where it was going!
8578776
Yeah, my one of my biggest weaknesses when I started writing was pacing. I was so eager to get to the main event that I would forget to build up for it. Lord how I cringe looking back at this sometimes.