• Member Since 25th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen May 28th, 2017

Featherpen Lullaby


To fly you must first conquer the fear of falling.

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Due to her son's falling grades Button's Mom decides to find him a tutor, Button is not particularly fond of this idea but when the tutor arrives he finds that she isn't at all what he imagined.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 2 )

I'm assuming they're 13-14 here, but if that's the case shouldn't they know each-other already? They met, technically, when he and she were 8-9 if you're going by the JanAnimation's Button Mash.

...Sorry, I'm probably just making this overly complicated for myself.

But Button still can't do the creator of video games since they have to, and I quote:

a famous pony from Magical Technological Revolution period

Unless, in Equestria, Pong was invented at the same time as the light bulb.

Also treating math problems like a video game...That would require a really overactive imagination since, as established, he managed to finish those questions really quickly. If it was like several sheet and each sheet was a level, that'd be fine. But each question being a level makes it sound like the easiest game in the world.

And the fact that he got them all correct baffles me! Especially since you established that Sweetie Belle didn't help him! I thought he'd, at the very least, get five or six wrong (Depending on how many questions there are) considering that he's getting bad grades. Or was that because he didn't actually do the work set out in front of him? But then, I don't know that because it wasn't established.

Although, I've got to say, I liked Sweetie Belle's way of thinking in regards of teaching. Letting them do the work and then looking over it afterwards allows you to see if they got the concept, where they might've gone wrong, where they'd need to improve or if they're capable of doing it without help. It also lets the student know that the tutor doesn't think they're stupid or anything.

However the ending feels increadibly rushed. I mean, earlier Button was stammering and staring at her, blankly. I don't think he'd work up the courage to ask her out so quickly. And I don't see why Sweetie Belle accepted his date since the narrative focussed on Button too much and we didn't get much of an insight on Sweetie Belle at all other than 'She's pretty, nice and Smart'. Did she find his nervous charm cute? Did she even notice him being nervous or did she think he acted like that normally? Did she also find him quite fetching but was better at concealing it?

...I know it seems like I'm being harsh, but it feels like the story had a bit of wasted potential. This story could have easily been a mutli-chapter story going over the course of the tutoring. How Sweetie Belle's feelings develop over time to match that of Button's instant 'love at first sight' trope. She could have been intrigued with him since he's not like a lot of the other ponies she knows.

Still, this story get a :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:/:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: For being one of the best couples (I got a big soft spot for any story with these two), an interesting premise that I haven't seen yet in SweetieMash fics and a good read with good spelling and grammer. It's faults are: It's short and has a few plot-holes. Still liked and faved though! Keep on writing and please don't take this personally.

I half expected this to be a 'Button gets it really bad' sort of story.
Instead, I got one of the best Sweetiemash stories I think I've ever seen. Everypony was in character, and I approve of how you went for middle ground Button's Mom, instead of making her clueless or overly strict, as so many writers seem to do.
In short, you got yourself an upvote, and a follower!

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