-COMPLETE- The Cutie Mark Crusaders invent a time machine, and travel twenty-five years into the future. They wish to find their adult selves, and discover what their cutie marks will be, but instead they uncover something none of them are prepared for.
Will the Crusaders be able to prevent a terrible tragedy in the Apple Family's future? Can the time-space continuum survive the mayhem caused by the three hyperactive fillies, or will they cause a paradox and destroy Equestria?
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I wonder if they can change the future or other dimensions like in the original Chrono Trigger... on my to read list.
Lol, while others where thinking of Chrono Trigger, I was thinking Chrono Crusade.
It had been nearly a two weeks since school let out for the summer
With that, she raced out of the same window, and was out of sight in seconds,”
“hear what?”
I keep find more typos and other errors
1. Nearly two weeks.
2. Extra close quotation mark.
3. Forgot to capitalise your H.
4. Troll error, Finding.
AB and FW?! This is gonna be gud. Didn't bother finding the gif cause i'm lazy. Also just to let you know dealing with time travelling stories can be tricky business as sometime people tend to fall into plot holes of their own story.
657419 cool, keep on it then.
i have the same problem with human in equestria or crossover fics, eventhough I'm actually writing one (Zero, Dante and Deadpool from Marvel Vs Capcom 3 in Equestria) it took me a while to find a believable way to bring the three fighters to Equestria.
and you don't necesairly need to have a human in Equestria for a crossover fic, take for example:
My Little Chrono Triggers are Magic, which is kinda Chrono Trigger but with ponies.
well again good luck with your fic.
It's looking pretty good, I would be more than glad to help you with proof reading, and if I get any ideas I will send them as well.
just one thing, I'm a time and space traveling aficionado and I'm quite bugged by the time paradox you just made, obviously you are going to break the same one that was broken on 'On a cross and arrow' in which tha travelling ponies can see and talk themselves without the paradox causing the universe to implode.
but, will they have what is called 'Traveler immunity' as did Crono and his friends on Chrono Trigger? and as well as another paradox that is shown that I've been wary about is the being at two places at the same time. In which in theory if someone travels to the future a 'clone of him will take his place so they can meet in the future', if not the time traveler would have been missing from all the events that took place until he/she arrived at the designated time destination.
Well that's all for now
673921 I see what you are saying, and I agree I will have to be careful about time paradoxes, the grandfather paradox, etc. That being said, the episode 'It's About Time' already established that a time traveler can meet and interact with their self in another time period without causing a paradox, so I am going to run with that.
Otherwise, I am pretty much sticking to 'Back to the Future' rules, where a traveler can affect things in the time line, which is where much of the conflict/drama/silliness will come from. Also, I am going by the assumption, that the crusaders will be eventually retuning to their own time line at more-or-less the same point in time at which the initially left, making is so that they aren't really "missing" from the time line for any significant duration. For example, if/when Apple Bloom meets her adult self, that older version will be the very same Apple Bloom that one time traveled, and can try to give her advice/guidance in what to do and not to do, and so on. (I know that creates an 'endless loop' scenario, but that also happened in 'It's About Time' so I am good with that. )
If you see any issues with that method of dealing with time-travel, let me know, and I will definitely consider your thoughts.
Finally, if you would like to proof-read/pre-read/edit, I would definitely appreciate it. I have no issue with taking your assistance, however little or much you are willing to help.
676894 k then it's settled, just send me the links and i'll help in whatever way i can
676985 Thanks! I will do that. I am on the second draft of chapter/episode 2 at the moment. My bday is this weekend so I don't have a lot of time the next couple days to write. I will probably have a mostly finished draft by early next week.
677718 well, early happy birthday to u!! and don't worry, I'm also working on my story atm so I'm not in a hurry
again happy birthday i hope Pinkie throws you a Pinkierrific bday party
You filth little mules are gonna regret this!
and Ned mere feet behind
just as the pursuing gryphon swing with his large foreclaw
made contact with Sweetie Belle's tale just enough to yank out a chunk of hair
Scootaloo, quickly grabbed her fallen friend by the mane, by the mane and yanked her into the drainage pipe,
There is a spit here, I think we should take the left path
“I'm a little busted up, but I'm okay, How about you Sweetie Belle””
The tree of them jumped into some nearby bushed
1. Filthy.
2. Did you mean to do this as a plural form or something else?
3. Swung.
4. Tail.
5. Repeated.
6. Split.
7. Extra close quotation mark which is supposed to be a question mark.
8. Three.
These are all the mistakes I found in your extra addition. though so far I only post the mistakes in the comments section
693309 Thanks! Fixed now.
I appreciate the assistance.
but she new was probably only ninety minutes or so,
Apple Fries knew for previous experience how heavy a fully loaded apple cart was
I won't tell anyone I saw you
You know out adult selves?!
I know everybody in Ponyville
1. Knew.
2. From.
3. Anypony.
4. Our.
5. Everypony.
I smell paradoxes possibly occurring... mainly since it WILL be a different timeline after the rescue... now the question is... how are they gonna do it without being recognised?
709504 Thanks! I will be going back and fixing those in just a few minutes.
Stupid auto correct in Open Office turns 'anypony' into 'anyone' and 'everypony' into 'everybody.' even after I added both to the dictionary
I would turn off, but I am such a terrible typist, that its easier just to go back and fix those few issues than manually fix everything picked up by the spell checker. It turns 'Fluttershy' into 'Shutter Fly' too. 
Thanks for the read, and the corrections!
I'm Singaporean and when i saw Orchard road i shat brix
pretty good chapter, I loved the Newspaper thing, it gives a note on how much effort you're giving to the fic. it's sad that it has so little thumbs up.
)
I also love all the intended or unintended Chrono Trigger references that I found or made up in my mind.
1.- Changing the past to save someone loved.
2.- the resolution to change the past and modify the future.
3.- 3 seats time machine. (tell me they are going to name it Epoch
Anyways, good work overall, and you have been pointed out your flaws already. only other I found was a speech that wan't closed, don't quite remember which. so take a look at it.
Keep up the good work
719820 Ha! Those are good references, even if they were unintended! I was actually thinking I wanted to name the machine, rather than just call it 'the time machine' all the time. I forgot that the C.T. machine was named Epoch, actually, but I like it.
When I go to put the third chapter up within the next day or so, I will go ahead and edit in them naming the machine, and change a few spots of the text with the new name. I will throw a note at the end of the fist chapter with credit to you for naming it.
Thanks for the read and for naming the time machine!
no problem
But... the future refused to change.
Fate has no forgiveness for those who dare stand against it.
This was pretty unfair. They tried so hard to save her, and now they had to watch her die personally. Though, how could they give up when it had taken their adult selves so many years to accept it too?
*sigh*
Good story so far.
arrow-straight mane and tale
are you hurt?
1. Tail.
2. Forgot to capitalise.
Problems with time travelling... Especially when time ain't letting you get away with it...
i want more when is the next chapter
so sad wend is next episode coming
729526 The first draft is done, so I just need to do the rewrite and edit. Probably within the next two days, and part five should be within the week, barring unforeseen circumstances. Its only gonna be a 5 part story, and perhaps some kind of epilogue, so I promise that the wait won't be long.
Thanks so much for the read, I am glad you are enjoying it.
Wow, didn't see that one coming.
Still, it's sad that its going to be just a 5 part story, but well it's better to wrap up things before they get outta hand (hoof?) I'm looking onwards to your next chapter.
keep up the good work
734230 It was originally only planned as three, but it has gotten larger as it has gone from the outline to the final stages. That doesn't mean that it's the end of The Crusaders' time traveling adventures, just this particular plot line. I have two more story arcs already outlined that will continue off of the time traveling concept, but won't be related close enough to be called sequels, and certainly not enough to be part of the same story. Hence the 'series' and 'episode' concept I have going on. They will basically be as related at any two random episodes of the show, the universe will be the same, and there may be some continuity nods, but they will be self-contained stories.
It is very likely that will also write a 'side-story' of sorts, detailing the day that Apple Bloom, Scoots, and Sweetie spent with Apple Fries and her friends. I considered including it here, but it could easily be 6k words just with what I have in my head already, and potentially 10-12k if I expanded a bit. Had I made it part of this story, it would have seriously slowed down the plot, and been far too long of as stretch of essentially nothing but light-hearted comedy. It just would have taken away from the action and lightened the tone more than I wanted, so I think it will be better if presented as it's own entity.
lol glad you cleared that up.
That being said... Onwards Epoch we have a future to save!
734871 Indeed we do! I have the next two days off from work, and have literally nothing going on, so barring unforeseen circumstances, I plan to spend a lot of time writing. With any luck I will have part 4 done and posted Wednesday morning and a complete first draft of part five by Wednesday night.
i looking four word for the next chapter
742709 It's posted now. Hope you enjoy!
grade story i want more
744486 Thank you! I am sincerely glad that you are enjoying it. The ending is coming soon. I want to make sure that the story has a fitting conclusion, so it may take a few days, but I will have it ready as quickly as I can.
“Okay, so here is a spell that can essentially isolate a certain portion of time-space, and allow otherwise impossible alterations to happen. “Wow, this spell is far beyond my ability, though it can be preformed as a tandem spell with other unicorns, but it is extremely risky. Just the list of warnings is more than eleven pages long.”
Princess Luna greeted them happily, and did not seem the least bit worried that the Crusaders would repeat their previous mistake, and Apple Bloom want sure whether that was reassuring, or a reason to be even more nervous.
Than it is settled, our work shall begin tomorrow.
1. Extra quotation mark in the middle and Performed.
2. Did you mean Wasn't sure?
3. Then.
I forsee paradoxes happening. There will be trouble and I know it, cause all time related stories/games always has em.
cool story, is the tallest mountain thing a reference to the death peak that appears in 2300 A.D in CT?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png
that aside, let me see if I get your time traveling thingie. the fate of time is linear, meaning there will never be different choices the people could be able to make (thus making everything move through the 5th dimension and overruling the 6th), so Luna and Twilight will be working toghether to make a break on the 5th dimension to reach the 6th and actually be able to change the future.
Also by what I understood it's that if the CMC travels to the future stay let's say 6 days and then return to their own era, and then decide to return to the 5th day, the CMCs that were in the5th and 6th day would dissapear, to make room for the ones that just arrived?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_unsuresweetie_flip.png
748238 Okay, so first off, I am purposely leaving a few of the finer details ambiguous. The story is told primarily through the eyes of the Crusaders, and they don't fully understand the 'rules' so the reader shouldn't either. I assure you though that I have a document that has exactly how it all works, and I know the rules.
That said, basically The Fates made a 'magical barrier' of sorts that protects the well being of Equestria, therefore while pretty much anything can be changed by a traveler, certain elements essential to the time line will 'right themselves' after a short time. Things such as when ponies are born or die, the outcome of political debates or wars, etc. The time line doesn't care what Fluttershy has for lunch, whether Rainbow Dash takes a nap in a tree rather than on a cloud, and so on. Those small things could be changed freely, and if enough changes are added up over time, then that can end up having a large impact due to cumulative alterations, hence Luna and Twilight staying behind to allow time to flow naturally. Essentially Luna wishes to 'push' gradually against the time line over the decades, by exploiting that loophole in the barrier. This is the same reason why the adult crusaders can no longer be sure how and when Apple Fries will die, they have pushed enough in their efforts to have changed the specifics, but not the overall outcome.
Those involved in the spell will be essentially 'removed' from fate, giving them the opportunity to change things. How permanent that may be, and what long term impacts that may have, is yet to be determined.
And finally, in order to prevent something like a powerful warlord repeatedly sending soldiers trough time, creating multiple 'copies',and building up massive armies, with relatively few soldiers, the Fate's magical barrier will prevent any traveler from going to the same place more than once simultaneously. Let's say I got to 3 o'clock next Thursday, and stay all day, If I go back again to 2:50, then that trip will 'overwrite' the last one. Essentially time hasn't gotten there yet, so what I do replaces what I did before. If I were to try go to 3:10 instead, either my spell would fail, or my machine would fail, since I am trying to go to a 'occupied' portion of time.
Presumably the adult Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had done time traveling as fillies, but eventually returned close enough to the point in time that they should have always been in, that they no longer count as 'travelers', allowing the child versions to meet their adult versions.
Hopefully, that makes at least some sense. I actually developed these time travel rules for a tabletop RPG campaign I run, and they have always worked in our games, with little debate and few unsolvable time travel situations, so I figure they are coherent enough. In fact, this whole story is inspired by a quest that the players did in a game a few months back.
Gah! so long, sorry
748418 Tl:dr.
naaa jk, I did read it all.... at least I think so. (reads the text block all over again) yep I did.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
The way I see it it is the same thing i had wrote but in a lot more words. I did think about the crussaders stop being affected by the time traveler immunity, since they stopped they're time traveling shenanigans in order to continue with their lives.
about the 5th dimension thing, I did make it sound a little bit too strict, but it stills apply in the bigger scheme you planned.
hope to read more of the story soon. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png
cool story bro.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
though,dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_hmph.png you never gave my mention about naming the time machine. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png joking I don't need it if you don't wanna give it, I was just glad to be of help.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png
k then take care and I hope to read another of your stories soondl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png
771485 Actually, I threw in a few lines of dialog in the first chapter of them deciding on a name, and gave you a credit in the notes of chapter one. I guess I forgot to tel you that I had done it
I will definitely have more stories soon, already have a few in the works, in fact.
Thanks again for helping out, and for all the comments!
hooves gently made contact with the ground.”
Everyone else, please
If anyone has questions,
She decided than and there
set up a triangular course int the sky above the farm
Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, prepare to catch you Apple Fries,
1. Extra closing quotation mark.
2. Everypony.
3. Anypony.
4. Then and there.
5. In.
6. Extra word.
[nergasm/theory]Apple Fries is alive but now... Luna... My mind is thinking that if she DID change the further past she would also change the future where saving Apple Fries might, MIGHT not be needed... I do not know but the possibility is there[/nergasm/theory]
Yes you can probably figure out that I love stories like this... heck I like to think... but not too much... Am I overthinking my sentence?
772068 Thank you for the corrections, as always!
Exploring what happens when Luna goes back to stop herself from becoming Nightmare Moon, and how that effects the future may become a story later , but that is gonna take some planning. It would be a fundamental change in the history of Equestria, with far reaching consequences, probably both good and bad, so if I do take on that particular story, I will want to treat it with respect.
Anyway, thanks for the read, and for commenting on my story. You were my first ever commenter if I am not mistaken!
772113 Seems like I was, but that was saying I put this onto my to read list
709779
WHat do you mean, MLP is invading SG????
Cause i also live in singapore and i never noticed anything MLP related
837339 Chapter 2. Read the news paper First Paragraph
I like ideas 2 and 3.
If I had a time machine...
...
...
...
Hey, I'm back! Guess what...
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-time-traveling-twilight.png
Luna, you realize that stopping NM's creation would cause SO.MANY. PAIRS OF DUCKS!!!
The Repercussions of your success are (almost) UNIMAGINABLE!!!
And did you forget what happens should you FAIL?!
It's gonna look real nice, an immortal alicorn goddess without ANY magic whatsoever.
All in all:static1.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/The+other+ponies+are+laughing+because+they+don+t+think+its+_99a8c5c2641782963387ff1f4b647d0f.gif
I hope that you attempt this in the forseable future. I desire LOLs.
839008
Oh I see what you mean
At least they didn't steal the TARDIS
Oh great, uranium in an orchard. Great!
Like Sweetie Belle said "OH COME ON!!!!!"