• Member Since 13th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Jordan179


I'm a long time science fiction and animation fan who stumbled into My Little Pony fandom and got caught -- I guess I'm a Brony Forever now.

T

Early Morning, May 4th, 1507 (7 years after Luna's Return)

It is the morning after the marriage of Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich, and Pinkie decides to give Cheese a very special present -- something only she could give him.

(Cover image by the excellent Cheese Sandwich artist Netta (AltoSpark)).

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 37 )

No, silly, she thought quietly, because she didn't want to wake up Cheese. I'm not going to do that. Remember, Cheesie needs to get his sleepies, and I'm pretty sure that that would wake him up! She waved a hoof mock-scoldingly at you. And shame on you for thinking that! You have a really dirty mind!

Hey, I just thought you were going to make him breakfast in bed or something! Blame Jordan for that one, not me!

Aside from that unjust accusation, a lovely glimpse into Pinkie's mind, and a disturbing one into the honeymoon suite. The implied motions and excretions... :applejackconfused: Disturbing, to say the least. I'm happy for them, but still. There are activities that should not involve streamers. (I know, I know, party pony heresy.)

In any case, Pinkie's gift is indeed special. Between the blue eyes and the visualized timelines, I couldn't help but think of Dune. Though with fewer floating fat men, which is definitely a point in the story's favor.

Ah, giving him the gift of living a long life and not falling to any kind of tragedy. Who wouldn't want that for a good spouse? :twilightsmile:

Also, yay, I'm an inspiration, I feel so special! :raritystarry:

very cute little oneshot. There were a few bobbles here and there with doubled letters being the main offender, but those will probably be caught when more people start to read it.:twilightsmile: This fits very well into your 'Verse. and should be a welcome addition to your and the two inspiration's writings

6386691

It means a lot to me that you liked this story, considering who it's about. :pinkiesmile:

Heh. A short little piece that exists to exist. Personally, that sounds like a lot of my work.

6387588

Well ... it also explains some things about Pinkie Pie and her relationship to her loved ones. My canon inspiration was actually the "500th wedding anniversary" line from "Party Pooped," though I thought this before. That also implies that Pinkie knows she's probably immortal.

6386691

And yes, of course you are special. :twilightsmile:

Pinkie is kind of omnipresent, isn't she? It was nice of her to give her blessing to Cheese like that; it shows true love at its best (not counting the dirty bits of course). :pinkiehappy:

:duck: I laughed when she got mixed up with the incarnations of one of her best friends. -->

his responsibilities as a wandering Party Pony and hers to Minty ... she meant, Princess Twilight

I thought that Pinkie was going to tickle Cheese's nose with her mane until he woke up. And his hooves. And his ears. And his tummy. :pinkiesmile:

:moustache::raritywink:
:pinkiehappy: Brain bleach for those extra dirty minds!
:pinkiegasp: TWILIGHT!
:facehoof: She caught me!
:yay::eeyup:

pre05.deviantart.net/956a/th/pre/f/2015/245/2/6/first_born_by_hillbe-d986vyb.jpg

Usually when she did that,it was because she'd been running a party, and the Joy she got back from that recharged her to the point that she needed only a few hours' sleep anyway.

Joy shouldn't be capitalized.

slightly painful but which brought back incredibly Joyful memories, reminded her that she did not, in fact, need to make any cupcakes today.

Another capitalization error at joy.

Like herself andthem, he could convert Joy into psychic energy and back again. Unlike herself and the Fluffy Ponies, he was male, and not sired by Paradise.

Add a space between and and them. More capitalization errors with joy and paradise.

'Cause if hewasn't male, well last night wouldn't have been as much fun;

Add a space between he and wasn't. Also, you get cookies for using a semicolon properly!:pinkiehappy:

She leaned over and kissed him gently, on the

There shouldn't be a comma there.

but It had been a long time before they'd done much more than cuddle.

Why is the I in 'it' capitalized?

6388949

Joy is being used as a term to describe something much more complex, a source of power, so it isn't like regular joy.

That's just some of the errors in this, but I got too lazy and stopped pointing them out :facehoof: It's a pretty good story, aside from the grammatical errors. Have you tried asking someone to preread? There are tons of people on the site that will be glad to do it for you if you ask nicely. I hope to see more of your work soon! :twistnerd:
-Sugar
P.S. I loved the dirty minds comment, and how you said she could read our minds :rainbowlaugh: was that a EG reference? Since she might be psychic? :pinkiegasp::rainbowderp::twilightoops::raritystarry::yay::moustache::trollestia::pinkiecrazy::derpytongue2: (RANDOM EMOJIS XD)

6388953 Ohhhh ok. I'm still high off of 7 cups of coffee so I'm still... :applejackconfused: <--- that.

6388971

I'll allow you to live. This time. :trixieshiftleft:

6388979 Here's a cookie then.

Oh Pinkie, ¿do not you know that soap can damage brains?

6388949

"Joy" is capitalized because she's thinking of it as a source of psychic power. "Paradise" is a proper noun referring to the World That Was Lost and the Paradise Entity, the sapient AI which ran the World Which Was Lost. Your other points are quite valid.

6388238
6386685

You know, I'm not entirely sure what Pinkie means by doing "that." She obviously doesn't just mean sex, and she obviously has some specific act in mind, but I don't know what it is, or if it's one even possible to normal Ponies. I think it's sexual, though.

6388962

Pinkie's Fourth Wall breaking. When she wishes she can see the audience. And me.

Pinkie is just as much a Mythos-like entity as is her invisible eight-headed giant fluffy twin sister Claire. It's just less obvious with her.

6393328

No, just a precognitive and reality warper. Her powers have significant limits.

It was good but the part of the paradox thingy made me confused

Comment posted by AngelDCS deleted Sep 9th, 2015

6406348

When Pinkie Pie twists reality she has to destroy any Paradoxes this creates, or she will damage the continuum. Think of this as working a bit like in Mage: The Ascension, complete with Pinkie's reluctance to perform "Vulgar Magic" in terms of that game -- she instead changes things where no observers can see it.

Too much "vulgar magic" destroyed the dimension in which Pinkie's soul was originally born.

And did you clean up the impossible geometries when you were done using them, miss Sandwich-Pie? They are there for the comfort and foreshortening of all our guests.

Fortunately there's an agency that can come out here on short notice, even if they to demand to be paid in fractal bits.

Comment posted by Nutmeg Sweet FiM deleted Dec 6th, 2015

To be honest, I thought that the whole thing was an aftermath of a big party the two had. I also thought she was going to make breakfast or something for Cheese, not what you hinted at.

6866369

To be honest, I thought that the whole thing was an aftermath of a big party the two had.

It was. The "big party" was their wedding, and wedding night.

What she wound up doing was literally charming his life, at considerable expenditure of her own energies. To protect him from harm. An act of extreme (and highly effective) love on her part.

Pinkie's not going to make love to Cheesie while we're watching. She has her modesty. And Cheesie needs his sleep. He's tired now.

I could tell she charmed him, which is so sweet of her. And :rainbowlaugh:. I find that last part to be hilarious.6866680

I have thought about it long and hard, no puns intended, and have come to the conclusion that this is a three out of five... at worst; but what its rating shall be is a four out of five. While not so cuddley-cuddley, it still is one of the kindest acts of a marital partnership that I have seen.

I still don't see what the sexual act could be, but perhaps it is something that is outside of anyone else's imagination. I still don't know what the whole year thing is, but I might have to read some of your other stories to find out.

Pinkie is the type to prefer traditional courtship? Never would have guessed that, and I can see her family doing that

8304558

Traditional in some ways. Very, very weird in others.

8305141
I guess coming from an old school family would do that

Way, way late here, but I am FAR too amused that Pinkie can link to TVTropes in her own narration. It's a perfect touch.

8311081

She can do that both because it's breaking the fourth wall, and because of Who she's linked with.

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