• Published 2nd Sep 2015
  • 20,000 Views, 1,687 Comments

The Last of My Kind - Immortan Joe



In the near future mankind was driven into a biochemical war against an unidentifiable contagion created by an asteroid that struck the planet. Without no cure or any form of escape, mankind buried themselves and awaited their extinction.

  • ...
168
 1,687
 20,000

Chapter 7: An Embarrassing Shower and a Nice Princess

“What the fuck?!” I recoiled backwards, nearly casting myself down the staircase.

“What?” Spike tilted his head. “It’s the only way I can make sure you don’t try anything!”

“Bullshit it is,” I snapped, “I bet you just want to see me get naked, and there’s no way in hell that’s happening!”

Spike looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “What are you talking about? I see ponies naked everyday.” He then gestured at himself. “I’m naked right now!”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “That’s not my point,” I grumbled.

“Then what is it?”

“What’s under these.” I gestured with both hands at my clothes. “Is only available to those I trust and are of age.” That only seemed to confuse the lizard more.

“What?”

“Kids like you aren’t allowed to see me naked!” I shouted.

Spike leapt back at my sudden outburst, he held up both his hands. “Alright fine! I’ll stick by the door.” He crossed his arms and pouted.

I rolled my eyes. “At least we’re making progress,” I muttered.

:[-]:

Spike and I stopped at the edge of a large doorway in the center of a vast corridor. The door stretched upwards and looked to be nearly touching the ceiling fifteen feet above me. “Damn,” I whispered and glanced towards the lizard. “What do you got in there? King Kong?”

“What’s a ‘King Kong’?”

“Nevermind,” I sighed.

Spike walked up to the door and started to open it. “Well as of now,” he talked as he undid the lock on the door, “this is the best I can offer you. It's a little big so I don’t think you’ll mind.” Spike took the handle in his claws and pulled the door open, he motioned for me to step inside. “Ladies first,” he said with a wink.

‘That isn’t scary in the slightest.’ I chuckled nervously and stepped past him. When I walked into the washroom it was dark and eerie for a few moments before Spike turned a nearby nob. Above me I heard the sound of hissing gas, followed by a dim glow that sooned brightened up the whole room. I smiled at the sight of a large, empty bath surrounded by pink and purple crystal walls. The gas chandelier above casted a light that caused the crystalline walls to shimmer marvelously. The room looked to be something that would normally be a manly man's worst nightmare. However to me, I thought it was pretty cute. Most of the time my tomboy-ish side would fight against something like this, but this time... I think I can make an exception.

I casually walked over to the edge of the tub, soaking in its size. The thing was huge! Like it was made for some form of a public bath system or something; it was insanely big!

A smirked formed on my face. ‘I might as well consider it to be a swimming pool since I’m the only one who’ll be stepping into it–’ My thought quickly ended at the realization that Spike was still standing inside the washroom. I turned to face the small lizard, he was idly standing with his back pressed against the door and comic book held high in front of his face. I huffed. I’ve seen enough anime to know exactly what he was doing.

“You can go now.” I pointed at the door.

The dinosaur lowered his comic and cocked an eyebrow high in the air. “What?”

I made a shooing motion with my right hand. “Go, be free!”

The lizard shook his head and sighed. “I told you I was going to stand beside the door–”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “You’re going to stand by it... Outside!”

Spike rolled his eyes and closed his book. “Fine.” He opened the door. “I’ll stand outside; however–” he looked at me “–if I hear anything fishy I’m coming back in here, and I won’t be leaving then.” The lizard ducked through the doorway and closed it behind him.

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. Slipping my hands under my shirt, I quickly pulled it over my head and tossed it to the side. The immediate cool air struck my skin and I was overwhelmed with goosebumps. My arms wrapped themselves around me as I hugged myself to stave off the chill as best I could. I gritted my teeth and glanced back at the bundled shirt on the floor. ‘Perhaps I should get the water running before I strip.’

It took me fifteen minutes to find the damn string that triggered the tub full. Yeah, a string. That’s a bit of an over exaggeration, really it was a thin piece of rope with a black marble rock attached to the end of it. There were two hanging down from the ceiling, one for cold water the other warm water. Of course I pulled the warm one after I fucked up the first time. Unfortunately I had no way to control the temperature of the water in the massive pool, after I had gotten out of my panties I was flooded with the sudden urge to jump into this large, steaming, pool of water.

Lets just say it was a terrible idea.

The stitches in my right leg would also agree to the above statement.

“Gaaah!” I cried out when my head shot through the surface of the blistering water. Quickly I pivoted around a hoisted myself out of the bath and I stumbled onto my knees. My heart raced and my skin stung. ‘If I wasn’t awake before I sure as hell am now.’ The thought made me giggle and I got onto my feet. “God, I’m an idiot.”

“What the hay happened?” My eyes met with a wide eyed dragon, my mouth fell open and my hands immediately shot to my private areas in a feeble attempt to cover myself.

“What are you doing in here?!” I screamed.

The lizard winced and covered his ears. “Why are you screaming?”

Without thinking I dove back into the bath. Ignoring the intense heat I allowed my head to rise above the water. “I told you not to come here!”

“And I said if I hear anything out of the ordinary I’m coming in!”

‘He did say that,’ my conscience reminded me and I frowned. “God dammit,” I muttered partially into the water while kicking myself. I lightly bit my tongue and glanced around for any kind of soap or shampoo. “Alright fine,” I said as I swam over to an overhanging shelf that held bottles and jars. “Just... just don’t look at me okay!”

I looked over and saw Spike rolling his eyes. “Okay, I didn’t plan on it anyways.” He stuffed his snout back into his comic.

I glanced back at the shelf and examined the bottles of... ‘The hell is mane invigorator?’

I reached up onto the shelf and pulled down a bottle and jar of horse products. I read the names on each one out loud. “Mane cleaner well that’s obvious... I think. Uh, invigorator, stimulants... eh...”

I bit my lip. ‘This is gonna be a problem.’

“Having trouble there?” Spike called from over my shoulder.

Frowned slightly and looked over. “Uh... eh, n-no... maybe...”

I could hear Spike rolling up his comic. “Alright let me see.” I heard his claws clacking against the marble as he walked over to me. My frown deepened and my eyes widened as I heard him making his way over to me.

“Th-that won’t be necessary,” I said.

“Come on now...” The lizard trailed off, I took a quick glance over my shoulder and saw him standing a few feet away at the edge of the bath. “What was your name again?”

I looked back at the bottles of soap in my hands. “Chloe,” I mumbled with slight irritation.

“What?”

“My name is Chloe,” I said slightly louder and looked back over at him. “Now please just leave me be.”

Spike didn’t respond at first, instead he ignored my request and decided to crane his head around so that he could see my front half. He frowned when I turned my back towards him. “Yeah that isn’t going to work,” he muttered. “The soaps you’re using is only if you have a dry scalp.” Before I could react he jumped over the bath and landed on the ledge in front of me, he then turned around and reached into the shelf. I yelped at his sudden appearance and stumbled back into the water. “These here might be good for you,” he said as he pulled out a green bottle of shampoo along with a blue bottle full of conditioner. The little reptile didn’t even bother to hand them to me or set them aside, instead he tossed them out into the middle of the pool in my general direction. The bottles hit the water with a hefty splash and sank to the bottom.

“Th-thanks,” I said as I placed the other bottles aside and leaned over to grab the ones tossed to me out of the water.

“Oh wow,” Spike gasped.

I pulled the bottles back to the surface and placed them on the edge of the bath. I turned towards the awestruck lizard and raised an eyebrow. “What?”

He pointed at me with a claw. “Your cutie mark is awesome!”

I frowned. “My what?”

“Your mark!”

“What mark?” I glanced back down at myself.

The lizard sighed. “The mark on your flank.” I stopped in mid motion of turning my head to look at my rear, I could already sense the deep blush forming on my cheeks when it finally clicked in my head. “Like what was that? Two snakes attacking a cloud or something? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“N-nothing!” I backed myself literally into a corner in the bath. “It means nothing.”

‘Dammit, I can’t believe he seen the tattoo on my ass!’ I groaned and looked at my rear, it was nothing too prominent: two snakes coiled around an airliner on my right cheek. I had gotten it back when I was going out with my ex-girlfriend, which I refuse to say her name, after I had lost a bet with her in bed. Personally, I was conflicted about getting it. Before the world went to Hell and after we had broken up, I was debating on having it removed. However, before I could make the choice, shit hit the fan and now I’m stuck with it.

“Really? All cutie marks have a some kind of meaning.”

I took a deep breath. “I think I need clear something up here.” I glared at the lizard. “First off it’s not whatever you just said it was, it’s a tattoo; a decoration. Second, there is no meaning, it's just something my ex-girlfriend thought would look sex–eh, I mean cute.”

Spike looked at me with a frown and blinked. “So...” He started but trailed off, “your marefriend forced you to get a cutiemark?”

I decided not to correct him. “Yeah something like that.” I quickly nodded my head with fake enthusiasm. “That’s exactly what happened.” With that being said, I chose to change the subject before he could press further. “Thanks for the shampoo.” I shook one of the bottles in the air so that he could see it.

“That’s the invigorator,” he corrected as he turned and began to walk across the edge of the bath back towards the door. “And you’re welcome. I’ll be over here reading my comic.”

When Spike left my field of view I sighed and sank back into the water, leaving nothing but my nose and eyes above the surface. ‘Thank God that’s over...’

“Oh and one last thing!”

My eyes sprang open and a surge of anger billowed out of me. ‘FFFFFUU-’

:[-]:

“Y’know, I think we got off on the wrong foot here,” I said while wrapping my towel over my chest and tying a knot. I looked back at the soaking wet lizard. “I really didn’t mean to drag you into the bath and I’m really sorry about that.”

“You... ruined my comic book–”

“And I can get you a new one!” I said quickly. “Trust me, an.... an old friend of mine had like a hundred of them in his room.” I took a deep breath. “Like seriously, the Avengers totally beat the... what were you reading?”

Spike glared at me. ‘Yeah I don’t think this helping my situation at all.’

I pursed my lips. “Well...” I nodded my head. “Thank you for letting me use your bath uh...” My eyes stole a glance back at my clothes sitting beside the now empty pool. I started to make my way over to them. “I’m going to go get dressed–” I felt a light tug on my towel and, without any resistance, the knot keeping it together came loose and the only source of fabric keeping me covered crumpled to the floor.

Shocked, my head snapped back to see the green reptile with a smile and a tuft of fabric clenched between his claws. Deep caverns carved their way into my forehead, my cheeks burned like a nuclear reactor going into a meltdown. I went to snatch the towel back from the lizard but he pulled away before I could grasp it.

Fed up I rolled my eyes and growled. “Well now that’s just rude.” I pointed my back towards the lizard and went to grab my sweat-drenched clothes.

:[-]:

After things had finally calmed down between Spike and I, we both shared our apologies with one another. Over the past half hour we’d been waiting inside the dragon’s bedroom. I was surprised when the little dude told me what he was. I don’t think I believe it... quite honestly I don’t think I can believe any of this, but whatever gets me closer to finding Reynolds I’ll take it. Even if that means sitting across from a dragon on his bed playing a knock-off version of Battleship.

“D-8”

“Goddammit!” I growled and plucked another one of my airships off my side of the board, I tossed it to the side. “You took out my frigate.”

Spike laughed. “Awesome, your turn.”

“A-10”

“Miss.”

“Of course...” I mumbled.

None of this felt real to me. Not at all. I was sitting in a dinosaur kid’s room playing battleship, not even a day after I had learned that all my friends had died, save for one. Not only that I haven’t even buried them yet... and just the thought of that tore me apart. But just to add more onto the make believe half of things was this world's inhabitants, it was like I wasn’t even on Earth anymore. It was as if I was really going insane.

Why was it after I saw Eva’s skeletal corpse was it that I started seeing talking horses? Or that Reynolds could still be alive somehow...

‘No. Stop right there.’

“B-12.”

‘If you start thinking like that you’ll really start driving yourself nuts, girl.’

“Did I hit?”

But it’s true, back before we were stuck inside the cocoons Reynold’s was at least in his fifties. By now, biologically speaking, he’d at least be in his nineties.

‘Yes. But he also had his hands on modern medicine, not only that the man was healthy and fucking fit!’

“Chloe?”

“Huh–what?” I blinked myself awake and found myself locked in a staring contest with Spike. “Uh...”

He raised an eyebrow. “Did I hit?”

“What were your coordinates?” I smiled sheepishly at him.

“B-12.”

I glanced down at my board, it was a direct hit on my capital ship.

I smiled at him. “Miss.”

“Wha-really?” The dragon sighed. “So much for my streak.”

I giggled lightly and quickly, yet sneakily, repositioned my ship. ‘The Admiral requests we change course.’

“Spike?” an unfamiliar voice called from outside the room.

“Twilight!” The dragon beamed and immediately leapt off the bed. He scampered towards the door and opened it. “How was your nap?” he asked the mare on the other side of the door, I left my back facing them.

“Oh, it was much needed,” Twilight said, “do you mind if I come in?”

“Of course not,” Spike said happily, “it is your castle after all.”

“Well you’re not wrong,” the mare chuckled. “So you said someone was here to talk to... me...”

Already I could feel the pony’s eyes on my back, taking a deep breath I shifted in my spot and looked over at her. “H-hi,” was all I was able to force out. A couple feet away from me was a purple colored pony with a dark blue mane which had a pink and purple stripe cutting down the middle. Not only that, she also had had both wings and a horn. The mare looked at me with wide eyes, her mouth also ajar.

“H-hello...” the pony said to me then turned around. Her head leaned towards Spike and the two began to have a quiet conversation between each other. Every now and again the mare would flash her eyes in my direction. I felt a little bothered not being included in the conversation but obviously seeing that I was some kind of alien to them I didn’t let it get to me.

“Alright.” Twilight cleared her throat and turned to face me. “So you’re the creature who’d like to speak with me?” I nodded. The mare smiled, a bit of discomfort was visible on her face. “Then please, come this way.” She motioned with a hoof for me to follow.

I pushed myself off the bed and followed her out of the room. “... Don’t mind me.” I heard Spike from behind as we entered the hallway. “I’ll just stay here... and read my ruined book.”

:[-]:

“Are you thirsty?” Twilight asked me as I followed behind her down a large empty hall.

“Uh... yeah,” I said while rubbed a hand against my dry throat. ‘Can’t believe I hadn’t noticed how thirsty I was.’ “What do you have?”

“I have juice in the kitchen if you’d want some.” The mare turned and smiled at me.

“That’d be great.” I returned her smile.

‘This is the Princess? She seems more like a friendly host.’

For a few more seconds we continued down the hall before Twilight suddenly stopped. “Is something wrong–” I started but was stopped when I saw Twilight turn towards me.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be rude,” she said completely out of nowhere.

“Huh?”

“We haven’t introduced ourselves.”

‘Oh shit she’s right!’

Twilight bowed her head slightly. “I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle; however, you can refer to me as just Twilight.”

Without thinking I stuck my hand out to her. “And I’m Chloe Cooper.” After realizing she didn’t have a hand to shake mine with, I was surprised when she lifted her hoof and placed it on my palm.

The pony giggled. “It may not be your typical handshake, but I think this shall suffice.”

I wrapped my fingers around the pony’s smooth and soft hoof and shook it lightly. Releasing the hoof she pulled her leg back down and giggled once more before starting our walk to the kitchen.

“It took me awhile to get use to hand shakes,” Twilight said as she tried to make conversation. “Back when I was in the human world I had a bit of trouble when it came to grasping our cultural differences. In the end though I think I got the basics.”

“What do you mean ‘human world’?” I asked her, “I heard that dragon dude mentioning it, he even thought I was from there.”

We rounded a hallway and began to make our way down a small flight of stairs. “I recall Spike relaying that to me. Princess Cadence had a mirror that allowed ponies or humans to pass through it every thirty moons. The human world is more or less a parallel universe of our world.”

“Eh... what?”

“Spike told me that you’re a human,” Twilight said side stepping my question, “yet you aren’t from that world.” We reached the bottom of the stairs and continue on forward.

“Pretty much.” I shrugged. “Now he says I’m some alien who wants to suck your brains.”

Twilight laughed at that. “Yeah, he gets those from his comic books.”

“So what do you think?” I asked. “Do you believe I’m human?”

Twilight looked over at me with a slanted frown. “I believe I have a good idea on what you are. But I’m not too sure.” We stopped before a small door that Twilight opened easily with her magic. “In here, the fridge is on the right. Feel free to take what you want.”

The two of us went into a reasonably sized kitchen, the kind that could probably run an average restaurant. Like she said, the fridge was on my right. It was an average-looking fridge, clearly built to accommodate these fairly short ponies. I opened it and inside was a carton of orange juice, a gallon of water, and other various fruits and veggies.

I took the juice and an apple.

“Do you have a glass?” I asked Twilight.

“I already set some out for the two of us,” she said. “They’re on the counter behind you.”

“Thanks.” I spun around with the apple and juice in hand. ‘Damn this horse is nice,’ I thought, ‘almost a little too nice.’

“Here let me see the juice.” Twilight said from across the table, she magicked the carton out of my hand, which startled me a bit, and began to pour the juice proportionally into the glasses.

“I’m never going to get use to that,” I said out loud, my eyes glanced down at the apple I was holding. For an apple it was pretty big, a lot larger than the ones I remember buying in the city.

“Honestly, I can’t see how you humans deal without it,” Twilight said as she closed the carton and set it off to the side. “Well...” Twilight started but trailed off, only to start back up again. “The humans in the other world I mean. I have no idea if you’re like them or not.”

“Well I can’t do magic, so there’s one thing we have in common.” I smirked and took a bite of the apple, the sweetness from it caused my eyes to widen and I chewed slowly. ‘Damn!’ My conscious exclaimed, ‘That’s almost too sweet.’ I swallowed and wiped my wrist across my lips. “From what your lizard friend said before freaking out, he mentioned something about my eyes being smaller, and that my skin was a weird color.”

Twilight levitated her glass over to her and up to her lips, while doing so I noticed her eyes checking me out from head to toe. I broke eye contact with the mare and took another bite of my apple. “Yes, he isn’t wrong.” Twilight began to walk around the table and head towards me. “Your eyes are a lot smaller whereas the overall frame of your body is much thicker.” She stopped just a few feet away and squinted her eyes a bit. “Not to mention your mammary glands out rank the biggest I’ve seen. Are you pregnant by any chance?”

I nearly choked on my fruit. I turned and glared at the pony. “No!” I practically spat my food at her, I closed my mouth and swallowed. “No, I’m not pregnant, why does everyone think that?!”

'Like seriously! My tits aren't that big! I took a deep breath.

Twilight didn’t see phased by my outburst. Instead she continued on talking, “Well in the pony anatomy it's common knowledge for the mare’s teats to grow in size during pregnancy.”

I motioned an open hand towards myself. “That may be the case, but do I look like a horse?”

“I never said you were one.” Twilight turned away from me. “But nevertheless it was my mistake to assume such a thing. By the way, that glass there is yours.” Twilight lifted the non touched glass over to me and I gingerly plucked it out of the air.

“Thank you,” I said and took small sip. Again, the sweetness from it was almost overwhelming.

“You’re very welcome.” Twilight returned to her end of the table. “Would you rather continue our discussion here, or shall we move on?”

I didn’t really put much thought into my response. “Right here is fine.”

“Alright then,” the mare said cheerfully. “What is it that you wanted to ask me?”

‘Straight to the point isn’t she?’ I thought, I liked my lips and opened my mouth. “Uh...” Is all that came out, ‘Nice start, Chloe.’

I sat my food and drink on the table. I took a deep breath. “I’m looking for a friend of mine,” I started, “I know where he’s at; however, a few ponies I met yesterday told me that in order to get to him I must confront... your princesses?” I said questioningly.

“I take it you want to meet Princess Celestia and Luna?”

I snapped my fingers and pointed at her. “Those were the names.”

Twilight nodded thoughtfully and took a sip of orange juice. “I don’t want to sound nosey or anything, but do you mind if I ask who’s this pony you want to meet?”

“He’s not a pony,” I said, “he’s another human like me who seems to be friends with... Celestia and Luna, did I get those correct?”

Twilight frowned and looked at me skeptically. “Excuse me for a second, but did you say he’s human and is friends with the princesses?”

I nodded. “I believe so.”

Twilight’s eyes squinted a bit and she pulled her head back a bit. “How come I don’t know about this?” She took a larger sip of her drink.

I shrugged. “Well he is about sixteen thousand years old–”

Without warning Twilight sprayed her juice all over the table, nearly catching me in the process. Luckily I had taken a couple steps back and pressed myself against the fridge. “Sixteen thousand?!” she blurted.

“Oh yeah.” I cast my gaze to the side. “I forgot to mention that.” I looked back the pony. “I hope you brought chairs, cause this is going to take a while to explain.”

:[-]:

Twilight sat back in her throne-like chair, before I had explained everything to her she had brought us to what she’d called “The Map Room”. The name itself wasn’t too far off either seeing that the entire room consisted of a round table with seven chairs, and a cool ass hologram map.

“So... if I’m understanding correctly.” She placed a hoof on the side of her head and looked over at me, I was sitting in the chair with three red apples to her left. “You’re saying that sixteen thousand years ago, humans, not like the ones I’ve seen, ruled over ‘Earth’?”

“Yes,” I nodded.

“And an asteroid brought a disease to your world that practically brought your race to extinction?” she asked for clarification.

“That’s correct...” I sadly confirmed.

Twilight shook her head. “But that’s crazy though, if that’s true that goes against everything that was ever written! Every text book would have to be taken down and rewritten, history itself would be changed forever!” Twilight closed her mouth for a second and looked at me. “If you know all of this so vividly... how old are you?”

I took a deep breath and gave her a light smile. “Well thinking about it now I guess I’m a little over twenty seven years old, biologically speaking. But remember those cocoons I told you about? I was locked away in one of those for over sixteen thousand years. So I guess you could say... I’m sixteen thousand and twenty seven years old...” ‘Wow... saying that out loud... I thought my seventy six year old grandma was old.’

Twilight looked at me wide eyed a feeling inside told me she was having trouble believing all of this. ‘Dammit, how can I get through to–wait a second...’ A large smile made its way to my face.

“Y’know,” I said, “if you’re still having trouble I could always show you the vault I came out of.” This immediately brought Twilight’s attention back to reality. “It’s not that far from here really.” I glanced down at the floor as I tried to recall how long it took for me to get here. “It’s about a... thirty minute wagon ride, I think.” When I raised my head back up and saw Twilight’s face, I instantly knew my plan was a success.

Author's Note:

So some of you maybe disappointed in Twilight's reaction when she met Chloe, whereas a handful of you might be breathing in a fresh breath of air. Twilight reacted slightly shocked and chilled around Chloe because I decided not to go down the trope of her meeting a human, getting excited, and running potentially sexual experiments on her.

Yet. My clopfic plans are slowly coming together for a separate spin-off ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So to avoid that trope I brought Equestria Girls to the table (I only seen the first one btw) and used it as a (cough)poor(cough) logical excuse as to why Twilight wasn't acting like it was her first time seeing a human. *takes a deep breath*.

I hope you guys agree with my decision. Also how was Twilight I don't normally write with the mane six?