“Chlo?!” I heard Eva shout.
I spun around and glanced about the dark hall I was in. “Eva?!” I called back. “Eva where are you?” I began to run down the corridor towards the wall of darkness at its end.
“Chlo!” I heard her shout again. This time, however, it came from the opposite direction and she sounded scared. I slid to a stop and looked back. “Chloe, where are you?!” Her voice echoed in my direction.
“I’m here, Eva!” I cried out, the sound of Eva’s voice brought me to tears. “Just follow the sound of my voice!”
“Chloe—” I heard her gag, “—I-I can’t breathe! Please, Chloe, help me!”
I started to sprint towards the darkness her voice was coming from. “I’m coming, Eva, just hold your—” Out from the darkness a black skeletal hand reached out and slammed into the center of my face. Its bony fingers dug into the sides of my forehead and chin as it threw me back onto the steel floor.
Pain flared throughout my body and I screamed into the skeleton’s palm. My heart began to race when I saw a partially decayed corpse step out of the darkness and lean over me. “Why didn’t you wake me up, Chloe?!” Eva’s voice echoed out of the zombie.
My eyes widened in fear and I screamed into the decaying hand. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to fight my way out of my dead friend’s grip. “Why didn’t you wake up and save us?!” Eva screamed. Behind her I saw two more zombies step out of the darkness. “Why did we have to die and not you?!” Her hand clenched even tighter around my face and I could feel the skin on my head begin to tear.
“It’s not fair!” Eva started to chant, “It’s not fair, it’s not fair!” The two other zombies, which I soon recognized as Adam and Reynolds, came around on either side of me and got onto their knees. They both reached down and took one of my arms for themselves, I screamed and tried to force my arms away, but their grip was inhumanly strong.
Suddenly, Eva’s grip grew tighter and her eyes seemed to flash red, she bent over me and glared. “Why did we have to die?!” she shouted and lifted my head a few feet above the ground before slamming the back of my skull into the ground with a sickening crack.
:[-]:
“WWHAAAH!” I sat up screaming in the middle of the night, the back of my head aching as if it was really smashed. My chest rose up and down from panicked breathing, and sweat dripped down the side of my head onto my shoulders. As I reached up to wipe it off, I noticed my cheeks were also soaked with tears. My heart began to ache and I brought my knees up to my chest. I folded my arms around them and started to cry silently.
During my sobbing state, I felt something smooth and soft drape itself over my shoulders. I lifted my head up and looked over to see that it was a blanket wrapping itself around me. For a moment my heart stopped when I noticed that no one was around me. I reached out to push the blanket off of me, only to be stopped by Quartz saying, “Don’t worry, Chloe, it’s just me.” My head snapped over to the unicorn mare walking up from directly behind me.
I returned my gaze forward while grasping the edges of the blanket and tightening it around me. “Th-thank you,” I mumbled and sniffed. I used the edge of the blanket to wipe away some of the tears.
“I assume you had a bad dream?” Quartz sat next to me.
I cast a glance at her. Without the fire and nothing but the moonlight, I could just barely make out the large bags under her eyes. She looked like she wasn’t getting much sleep either. “You could say something like that,” I said, breaking eye contact when her large eyes met mine.
“Would you like to talk about it?” she asked me.
I shook my head. “No, I-I’m fine.” I lowered my head into the blanket and behind my knees. It felt nice to have something covering my top half again, even if it was just a blanket.
“You sure? It isn’t every night I wake to somepony screaming bloody murder,” Quartz giggled.
My chest clenched and I looked at her with guilt. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Nah!” Quartz swiped a hoof in my direction. “It’s alright. Besides, I should apologize about falling asleep and forgetting to get you a blanket. You must’ve been freezing.”
I shook my head. “Don’t worry about it, I’m used to it anyways.”
Quartz shrugged and gazed up at the nighttime sky, I did the same. It was beautiful, I had to admit. I’ve never seen a clear, star-filled sky like this before in person. Except for when I visited the Hayden Planetarium, and that’s what it reminded me of, as sad as that sounds. Having grown up in a big city, I had to deal with light pollution, so I never really got to see these beautifully placed stars in the sky. Aside from the five or six that shined bright enough.
“Princess Luna really outdid herself this time,” Quartz sighed and lied back on the grass.
I raised an eyebrow. “Who?”
Quartz tilted her head at me and frowned. “You really have been living under a rock haven’t you?”
‘Was that some kind of joke?’ I asked myself.
I curled my lips back in thought. “Well...” I laid the blanket on the grass and lay down next to the pony, the cool air greeting me with a wave of goosebumps all over my body. I shivered lightly and folded my hands behind my head, I then turned my gaze to the stars. “I’ve never been here before in all my life,” I said, which was semi-true.
“Never?” Quartz turned her head towards me.
I nodded. “Never.”
I continued my gaze up at the stars, it was a peaceful experience. It was something that allowed me to take my mind off things, an escape from life you could say. At least it was until I noticed Quartz looking at me weirdly, I glanced at her and noticed that her face looked like she was trying to figure out something she couldn’t.
“I-is something wrong?” I blushed when I noticed her eyes gazing at my breasts, I quickly folded an arm over them and stood up.
“Oh–uh, um... ahem. Sorry.” Quartz sat up and scooted away. “It’s just that, I hadn’t really noticed that you were... pregnant.”
“Pregnant?!” I practically shouted.
The pony nearly jumped ten feet in the air at the sudden level change in my voice, behind me I heard a snort and a hiccup as Crystal jerked herself awake. “Oh I knew this would be bad!” Quartz lowered herself down to her stomach and hid her face between her hooves.
“What made you think I was—”
“It’s because your teats are massive!” Crystal grumbled as she got up onto her hooves. Wiped the crust off that had formed around the corners of her eyes and frowned at me. “Now can you please be quiet?”
“What do you mean my tits are massive?!” I pointed at my chest. “I only wear a C!”
Quartz let off an audible groan and buried her head in the dirt and smacked herself with a hoof. “Idiot!” She hissed to herself.
“Tits?” Crystal tilted her head. “It’s pronounced teats!” She sat back down on the blanket she’d been resting on. “Now both of you be quiet, I have a raging headache.” She rested her head on the ground and within seconds she was snoring once again.
I blinked out of confusion and looked over at Quartz who looked to be beating herself up. “What the hell was that all about?”
The unicorn groaned. “I shouldn’t have said anything...”
I glanced down at my breasts. “What does the size of my chest have to do with preg—”
Quartz dismissed me with a wave of her hoof. “Forget about it, it’s a pony thing. Clearly yours are always like that.”
I was at a loss for words. “I... I think I’m going to go lie down for a bit.”
The unicorn sighed and got up. “I think I’ll join ya.”
I raised an eyebrow and opened my mouth, then closed it. I shrugged. “Sure, whatever.”
:[-]:
“Why didn’t you save us, Chloe?!”
My eyes snapped open and I found myself with a face full of cream pony fur. I jolted back and myself colliding into something behind me. “Wah!” Both I and the blue pegasus behind me yelped.
I rolled over to see Crystal looking at me, our faces just centimeters from touching. “M-morning.” Crystal smiled.
“H-hey.” I blushed and sat up, sure enough it was morning. Through the thick canopy rays of light littered the forest floor like shards of glistening glass. I pushed myself up onto my feet and stretched my arms out wide and yawned. I scratched right above my collarbone when suddenly a pain in my lower body struck me. My legs buckled a bit and I winced.
“Chloe?” Crystal sat up and yawned.
“Eh...” My eyes darted left and right.
‘Oh no, please not now.’
“Did I say or ask anything stupid last night?” Crystal pushed herself onto her hooves and cracked her neck.
“Uh.... I dunno. “ I bit my bottom lip and turned around.
Crystal looked at me and frowned. “Is something alright? You sound a little strained.”
I gulped and glanced over at Quartz who was out like a rock. I glanced back at Crystal and sighed, ‘This is going to sound very weird.’
“I-I have to pee.” My cheeks burned with embarrassment, I hated openly saying when I needed to use the restroom. I was always one of those kids in class who just up and left without saying anything, or just went between classes and breaks.
Crystal gave me a deadpanned expression. “Just go then,’ She said.
My mouth fell open. “Right here?!”
“Why not.” Crystal stretched out her wings. “Quartz and I do it all the time, just make sure you’re not over anything when you go.” I stood there and gawked at her, Crystal rolled her eyes. “If it bothers you so much then just go behind a tree or something, I won’t judge.”
I briskly nodded and jogged over to a nearby tree, stepping behind it, I unbuckled my pants and squatted down. Crystal poked her head out from behind the tree. “Oh, Chloe!”
“AHH!” I screamed and fell backwards, my heart rammed against my chest and the blush on my face only seemed to darken when the pony looked at me with wide eyes. I quickly threw a hand over my groin and covered my breasts. “Wh-what do you want?!”
“Is everything alright?” Quartz’s head poked out from under Crystal’s. “I heard somepony scream.”
I stared at the two with wide eyes as a moment of silence fell over us.
“Are you pregnant?” Crystal finally asked.
:[-]:
“There, there, it ain’t that bad.” Quartz cooed as she pressed an ice pack gently against Crystal’s left eye.
Crystal sniffed. “She didn’t have to hit me that hard.”
“Yeah and you didn’t need to go peepin’ on pony’s privates.”
“I wasn’t peeping!” Crystal puffed her cheeks and pouted.
A couple yards away, I sat with my back against a fallen log munching on a few of the leftover mystery sticks. I’ve still yet to ask Quartz on exactly what they were, I’m afraid if I do she’s going to tell me they’re worms or something. Popping one of the sticks in my mouth, I wiped my hand on the makeshift bra I had made.
After I bopped Crystal in the eye for humiliating me, I quickly left and did my business elsewhere. When I came back, I tore up the blanket I used last night and tied it around my chest before ‘apologizing’ for what I did. Though I wasn’t really sorry, the girl deserved what she got, however, I’d be lying if I said a darker side of me didn’t get a thrill out of it.
Neither of them had explained to me the whole ‘pregnancy’ thing that had been going around between the two. I don’t know if it was some sort of running gag or if the ponies really grew tits or something when they are having kids. I should’ve paid more attention in biology.
‘I also need to start heading back to the vault,’ I thought to myself.
There were a few last things I needed to check up on. However, I’m afraid I’ll have another mental breakdown when I go back. Even now, just thinking about it, my heart begins to ache. I wish I could run away, run as far as I can and hope that I can find something else to save me from this bizarre hell.
Even with the ponies here, I still found myself doubting if they were even real or not. Aside from having punched one, nothing has yet to happen for them to prove their reality. I didn’t know if I was going insane or not... I just really wished Eva was here. She’d know what to do. She always did.
“Alright, just hold still and let me tie it.” Quartz floated a roll of bandages beside her and proceeded to bandage the ice pack to Crystal’s eye.
“Don’t you think this is a little excessive?” Crystal asked in a low, irritated voice.
Quartz smirked. “No, I think it’s perfect.” She did one last loop around her head and sliced the bandage off the roll, she stepped back and examined her work. “Good as new!” She tried not to laugh.
I picked up my plate of sweet sticks and walked over to the two. I nearly choked when I saw Crystal’s bandaged head, nearly half of her face looked mummified. I swallowed my food. “Man,” I said, “go out like that in public and you’ll have all the males gushing over you.”
Crystal shook her head. “Nah, I prefer mares,” She smiled, “does it really look that good? I heard battle scars really make some ponies attractive.”
Quartz snorted and shook her head. “No. You look like something a hydra chewed up and spat out.”
Crystal’s uncovered eye widened. “Wha-what?! Really?”
“Totally,” I mumbled.
“Oh, Chloe,” Quartz looked at me, “you got some sauce on your cheek.” She gestured to the left side of her face with a hoof.
“Oh thanks.” I wiped my hand across my face.
“It’s still there.”
I tried again.
“Nope.” Quartz looked past me. “If you’d like, I recently filled out a bath bucket, you can go wash your face off if you’d like before we head off.”
I smiled lightly. “Thanks, I-I’ll go do that.” I turned and walked over to a small wagon on the far end of their camp. I guess it’s where they stored all their stuff. I don’t know why they kept it so far away though, and hidden for that matter. If I had to guess it was to keep robbers out, but out here in the middle of nowhere? Or so it seemed, I wouldn’t expect there to be any robbers here.
I stopped just beside the wagon and made my way around to the front of it. There I found a large wooden barrel full to the brim with water. I walked up to the edge of it and grasped the rim with my hands. I bent over and looked into the water, for the first time in over sixteen thousand years, I got a good look at myself. Amazingly enough, not much had really changed. My brown hair was darker due to being away from the sun for so long, and my skin had paled drastically. My large blue eyes on the other hand, stood out far more than they usually did and I thought it was rather cute. I’ve never really been much to care about my overall appearance, I just sort of went with the flow. Funny, because whenever I would say that to the guys they wouldn’t believe me.
“No one just walks out of their room looking beautiful without first taking a look in the mirror,” Eva would say.
I reached up and ran a hand through my hair. It had grown out since I got into my cocoon. Instead of stopping shortly past the ears like it usually did, it now rested nicely on the back of my neck and shoulders. Originally I would be against having long hair, but now, I actually kinda liked it.
I dipped my hands into the water and bent over as I splashed it into my face, rinsing off all the muck and dried food in the process. When I was done I straightened myself up and brushed my damp bangs out of my face. I reached over and grabbed a towel hanging on the side of the wagon and dried myself.
Glancing back down at the water, I gazed at my reflection and smiled.
“Chloe, eh?” Adam’s voice echoed in my thoughts, through my reflection I noticed something coming up behind me.
“That’s my name.” My heart stopped when I saw the disembodied face of a man appear behind me.
“Huh, that’s cute.”
“WAHAAH!” I cried out. Whirling around, I cocked my arm back but stopped when I noticed Quartz stumbling back the look of fear in her eyes.
My eyes widened and I retracted my arm. “I-I” I stammered, my heart thumping against my chest. “Please—I thought—I’m sorry!” I turned and bolted into the woods.
:[-]:
I sprinted blindly through the foliage, hurdling over logs and ducking under trees; paying no mind to where I was going. My heart raced and tears streamed down my cheeks. I could hear them, the voices of my dead friends echoing all around me.
“You could’ve saved us, Chloe!” Over and over those words repeated in my head.
“Chloe, stop!” I heard a shout and the sound of snapping twigs that only seemed to drive my mad dash further, stealing a quick glance over my shoulder, I swore I could see them. Their mangled bodies shambling after me through the darkness.
I hurdled over another log and landed back on the ground in a full on sprint, if there was one thing I could say I was a master at, it’d be running. All the way from the sixth grade to graduation I had always done track. From Freshman all the way to the start of my Senior year, I had been the fastest kid in school. Until I was beat by some transfer student, that is.
“Chloe, please!” the voices shouted. I ducked under a branch and stepped out of the way of an oncoming tree. I slid down the side of a slope and leapt over a log, grabbing a low hanging branch I used it to swing over a wall of bushes. As I broke through the treeline in mid flight, the sun’s bright rays shone into my eyes and caressed my skin. At the moment the whole world seemed to slow down, the voices shouting became quiet. As I drifted through the air and prepared myself to hit the ground running, however, the ground didn’t come. At least not when I expected it.
My ankles slammed against the side of an uneven surface with a nasty twist and I went heels over head down the side of a slope. On my way down I slammed against rock after rock, the air in my gut being knocked out midway. When I reached the bottom, a sharp pain rippled throughout my body when I felt my right thigh impale itself into a sharp rock and I screamed.
Rolling onto my back, I clutched my thigh and clenched my teeth as I tried to bite back the pain. Squeezing my eyes shut I groaned and refused to look at the damage, I could already feel my own blood oozing out from under the piece of stone. I had always been uneasy when it came to blood, mine or not, I couldn’t look at it. Even times when I had to give blood, I felt like I was going to vomit, and that’s what I did. Tossing my head to the side I hurled onto the sediment; crying, sick, and in pain I turned my attention to the clear blue sky and sobbed.
“She’s down here!” Crystal’s voice shouted from above, I heard the sounds of clopping hooves as the flying pony landed on the nearby rocks. “Sweet Celestia, what the hay happened?”
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” I opened my eyes and screamed at the pony, I planted both hands on the ground and tried to push myself away from her.
“Chloe, please, you have to talk to me.” Crystal trotted towards me. “I’m here to help!”
“NO!” I placed my hand on her chest and shoved her back. “I don’t need your help, I don’t need anyone’s help!”
“Yes you do!” She came back at me, “I don’t know what’s wrong, or what you’ve been through. But clearly you can’t go through it alone!”
“I said go away!” I picked up a rock and sluggishly threw it at her, the pony easily dodged it.
“Why?!” Crystal straightened herself out and glared at me.
“Because...” My voice wavered, “Because you’re... n-not real...” I covered my face and sobbed. “None of this... can be real...” I fell onto my side. “It can’t!” I screamed.
The pegasus looked down at me her eyes wide with a mix of confusion and fear. Her eyes flickered upwards when she noticed Quartz making her way down the side of the slope. “Sweet Celestia, what’s happening?”
“I-I don’t know, it’s like she’s gone insane or something.”
And that’s exactly how I felt. This world, my friends, these talking horses. My mind couldn’t take it anymore, it was like I was in some sort of living nightmare and I couldn’t escape. I was trapped, I was alone.
“Oh my lord.” Quartz got down next to me. “Sweetie, talk to us, what’s wrong?”
“Get away!” I lashed out with my arm but Quartz easily caught it with her mind powers.
“Hurting others around you isn’t going to get us anywhere,” she scolded. Her eyes then drifted down to my knees and they widened at the sight of the piece of rock lodged in my leg. “Crystal, get back to the wagon and grab the first aid kit.”
“A-alright!” I Crystal extended her wings and took off into the air.
Quartz turned her attention back to me and gently lifted me up and pulled my hands away from my tear soaked face. “Shh,” she cooed, “everything’s going to be fine.”
“No.”
“Don’t say that.” Quartz’s voice was quiet and hushed. “Now just tell me what happened, dear.”
“Why bother?” I mumbled and took my eyes off her.
“Because friends help each other when they need it the most.”
I glared at her. “You aren’t my friend.”
“Perhaps not, but I see you as one of mine.”
“I’m sorry,” I muttered and grimaced when I tried to move my wounded leg. “But I grew out of having imaginary friends.”
Quartz looked at me and with a frown and blinked. “What makes you think I’m imaginary?”
“You’re a talking horse for one...” A few tears streaked down my cheeks. “And for some reason... you... you remind me a lot of Eva...” The tears started rolling out again. “Now I see why I was able to talk to you guys so casually...” My voice became a quiet whisper. “You’re nothing but a reimagining of her.”
I felt something take hold of my hand, and without control I watched it fly over to Quartz’s face, she looked me dead in the eyes. “You’re wrong,” she deadpanned and placed my hand on the side of her cheek. It was surprisingly soft. “If I or Crystal was fake, would you feel this?”
I looked at her confused. “I-I—”
“Or how about this?” She scooched closer to me, my eyes widening as she rested her head up against my side. “Chloe,” Quartz whispered, “Crystal and I are real as real can be.” She turned her head and gazed up at me with her large blue eyes. “And believe me when I say this, Chlo, we’ll be here for you when you need it.” She didn’t say anything else after that. Instead we sat there quietly against a pile of rocks, waiting for Crystal to return with the medical box.
Now this is getting interesting
6396261 Damn you read that fast.
Crystal or I
Ah, the old denial faze.
Quick correction for you, 'lied' should be 'lay'.
Interesting wondering why they haven't contacted the authorities.. Of course in most stories like this Chloe's dreams would've attracted Luna's attention.
Chloe is facing survivor's guilt obviously wondering what beyond needs of the story caused the other chambers to fail. Maybe the question should be why did everyone wake at such different times.
Another good chapter. Lets see what happens in the next chapter. Hopefully everypony will calm down now.
6396273 I got on the moment it updated. What can I say?
Woah. That was great! Loved it! 10/10!
-ThePortalPonies
♪"All around the mulberry bush, /
the monkey chased the weasel/
the monkey thought it was all in fun,/
POP! goes Chloe's survival guilt!"♫
Okay, I'm officially moving this from my Tracking Library to my Favorites!
ok im hooked this is intresting and i hope when main 6 and other show it will get even more
6396289 Fixed
That should be sediment. Sentiment is more closely related to emotions than rock particles.
Still, great read so far. I can't wait for the next chapter.
6396305 It was explained in the first chapter (more or less Chloe assumed) that some pods rusted faster then each other. It wasn't that they woke up, it was each pod broke faster or slower then the other.
Ah... Hem. Well.
You do know that a human woman's breasts do grow larger during and following pregnancy, right? Because Chloe doesn't seem to... [Though it's not that pronounced of a difference, I'm pretty sure any woman that knows as much about the process as she should at this age would be able to figure out what the source of the misunderstanding is.] That said, I get that she doesn't get why they think she's pregnant at first because her breasts haven't actually swelled.
Characters like Chloe make me glad I'm emotionally dead. So embarrassing.
This is a good story a good story. The characters are interesting. The situation is interesting. On that front, you've got a good start. The writing itself is laden with errors, on the other hand, which makes it a little bit of a pain to read.
I'd suggest that you try to find an editor of some variety to help clear up the grammar and clean up some of the unnecessary details you've thrown in. With a little editing and TLC, I think this story could go far.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
6396482 Funny because I have three editors. So far the only chapter that is unedited is chapter 2, aside from that could you point out any specific errors? So that I can get grasp on what needs fixing and will avoid so in the future.
6396394 I imagine it's more that horses (and, I guess, ponies) don't have visible breasts at all unless they're nursing, and Chloe doesn't seem to be one to check out the undercarriage of her pony companions.
6396373 Stainless steel wouldn't rust. same applies to using an inert atmosphere such as nitrogen after everyone entered thier pods. Though tech can break down
6396548 ...I don't think you understood my point.
6396394 This is rare to see in a story compared to most mammals the human breasts are pronounced all the time. Especially compared to cats, dogs, equines whose breasts don't fill out till late during thier pregancies
6396650 That wasn't what I was talking about. Re-read my original post.
So I'm curious about what equestrian time period we're looking at. Is this supposed to take place before or after the stuff from the show, and are we going to meet any of the main cast?
I think that's an extra "I"
6396394
Also, I have to wonder why they are still fairly large, and not emaciated like the rest of her body after 16000 years. Unless I'm mistaken, weight lost usually comes first from extra fat in the breasts, gut, and butt.
Suddenly christian ponies!
I think you need to get someone who's a better editor, tbh. A lot of these mistakes aren't obscure--in fact, I'm pretty sure if you wrote this in Google docs, google would highlight some of these errors as errors.
6396629 I suppose that if there was some reason that their blood had spilled as a result of whatever killed them, it would look like rust.
I freaking love this.
I really really do.
6396698 Did it actually say the rest of her body was emaciated?
6385420 750 megatons is not remotely an extinction event. It's only 7.5 times the design yield of the largest-ever nuclear bomb, and is smaller than the Tambora eruption of 1815. It would be a regional disaster, but only a tiny fraction of the world would even notice it happening. Asteroid impacts don't cause long-range tsunamis (the wave frequency is wrong for traveling far in the ocean) unless they're big enough that the tsunami isn't a concern anyway. For comparison, the asteroid impact that killed the dinosaurs was more than a hundred thousand times larger, and while it probably caused a significant tsunami, it also did things like set most of the world on fire and cause a global impact winter.
6387105 Depleted uranium would be a terrible material. It doesn't just oxidize, it is flammable in air. It's also chemically toxic. A better material would be something like Inconel or a sructural ceramic. And the problem with gold, as in the story, is that any surviving civilization would probably make off with it. Raiding old buildings for their materials is common historically, and is the main cause of the Giza pyramids looking as worn as they do. A gold door can be easily dismantled with stone tools, but a superalloy door is a different story.
6387108 As the name implies, a blast door is designed to protect from blasts, as from a nuclear attack. They typically provide plenty of isolation on their own, but if there were to be a second biological seal, it would be located behind the blast door to protect it from blasts.
6389575 12k years ago, humans had begun farming and forming stable communities and basic civilization, and had already colonized most of the world. The modern subspecies is around 200k years old, and fire and tool use are millions of years old. If going from nonsapience to civilization was so easy, there should be plenty of others on Earth right now.
6389829 Regarding the modern Day the Earth Stood Still, the aliens' actions there were actually counterproductive. As far as most of humanity knows, they barely survived an alien attack, and most technology doesn't work. So most people will immediately switch to less-efficient ways of doing things , such as open campfires. Any efforts at preserving nature would be dropped in the face of needing resources to sustain a population that's now probably above the low-tech carrying capacity. As civilization rebuilds, it will probably be violently xenophobic, and try to kill any aliens it finds. Thus was the Imperium of Man formed.
6391648 6392406 Mostly underground structures would remain at that point, particularly those cut into stone. Tunnels, bunkers, mines, quarries, etc. As for artifacts rather than structures, harder ceramics could easily last that long, as could things made of noble metals and superalloys. Regular stainless steel can last quite a while if it's kept away from salt. Certain plastics might last that long if they were kept out of sunlight.
20/10 BEST FANFIC EVAH
Um... there's a semicolon in the synopsis that really shouldn't be there.
6396738
Back in chapter 1
I guess maybe not emaciated, but definitely skinny.
6396689
Considering we have Twilicorn in the character tags and on the cover image It's safe to say this is present-show timeline, or close enough Can't be centuries in the future either, because the other 'mane six' have their tag as well, meaning theu should be around still.
Got a little happy typing crust?
Looks like you combined "is something wrong" and "is everything alright".
Must have been a new line in your word editor.
Depending on the wound, Chloe could have still kept on going. Humans are pretty tough, and oddly enough, fragile.
This is awesome sir really awesome your a good writer :)
6396629 Oddly enough, stainless steels tend to perform worse in non-oxygenated conditions, though I daresay if the environment is totally inert then... yeah, not much will happen to it. It obviously wasn't inert when Chloe awoke, luckily for her. Maybe the other pods suffered from a materials defect.
6396634 I assume she got it eventually, hence the pony with the black eye...
6396542 Commas are a big weak spot for fics in general, and this fic is by no means an exception. Just look at this excerpt here:
This comma should be a period to split it up into two separate sentences, since the second half of the "sentence" isn't relevant to the first half. This is a pretty basic example and by no means the only comma error there is.
A lot of details are explained that really don't need to be, and it makes the story a bit cluttered. Tell us that it's daytime, and we'll believe you. Tell us precisely how the sun shimmers through the trees like glass, and we start to lose interest. A lot of detail is excellent, as long as those details are actually important, like the fact that the door to the vault is gold and thusly more than attractive to our pony friends.
I'd go on some more, but I unfortunately lack the time since my work break is over.
So she has schizophrenia then? Because voices in the head can only mean one thing and will not "just go away" once heard.
Nice chapter.
6396951 That's because that pony walked up to her while she was taking care of business, I believe.
6396895 My hands are skinny and bony. No meat on them. They're not emaciated. If that's the author's intention, I would suggest he make it clearer. Or I might be missing something. She sees herself this chapter, so that'd be an excellent time.
Nice choice of words there matey
You changed the cover art? Last I remember there was Twilight in the pic...
6397034
I'm the same.
I inherited my mother's genes for being thin and wiry, but I wouldn't describe either her or myself in any way as "emaciated".
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140630031220/epicrapbattlesofhistory/images/b/bf/Doctor_wait_what.gif
Wow...add a Sex Tag 'cause things just got REAL heated!
Just messing with ya. Their's an error though. Some heads up for ya!
Poor Chloe, I can't wait for the next chapter :)
Hmmm this is solid development and at least the main char is going through her..."problems" at the start.
Putting it on the tracking list.