In the wastelands of Equestria, a pony from the past travels across the land, looking for answers to what happened while he was "asleep". Soon, he discovers the events that lead to the very land he is on right now.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Just reading the first two chapters, I can note a few things that aren't so great
-Oh god, the walls of text: nobody likes reading walls of text (especially not me) so get an editor and get it fixed. The writing's not great either, kinda lacking in good description.
-Short chapters: kinda goes in hand with the sub-par description, but these are really short chapters compared to what I've witnessed in other Fallout stories. Step it up and at least try to get 3,000 per chapter.
-Stasis pod: I was initially gonna write a story with a stasis pod Minotaur, then I did my research and learned that the whole 'awoke after 200 years in stasis' schtick is a rather overused cliche in the FoE universe.
-Edgy name: not only is Dark Eclipse an oxymoron, it's another edgy-sounding name like so many Mary Sues out there. EDIT: I also just realized it's your username, making this look kinda like a self-insert, which typically ends poorly.
-Memory loss: like stasis pods, but for stories in general, writing characters with memory loss is sometimes seen as a writer too lazy to write a decent character. Not always the case, but again: a cliche in fanfiction.
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Mentally noted. Though I did not realize a lot of this stuff is cliche. Thanks for those feedbacks though, I greatly appreciate it.
I really felt something's wrong but I just don't know. Now, at least I know what it is.