Pinkie Pie Investigations: A Bootleg Fluttershy

by Karibela

Terror in the Skies

“Snore…. snooooooooore….. snore……”

~~...Twelve constituencies from around the Equine globe have already gotten their votes in, Dirk. The bill’s gonna be decided as soon as the last remaining representatives from Ponyville— ~~ *Bleeep.*

Woken up by the rambunctious blaring of the news theme, Rainbow turned her television off.

“A-... Ah… wha, what time issit… ugh… what a night.”

Rainbow gave another wide yawn, closing her eyes and stretched her hooves as she did. Having done so, she took the chance to look around.

Yup, her cloud-home was pretty much the mess she left it in. The TV was showing static, a pizza-box had been strewn across the floor, making the cloud a faint orangey colour… the couch is a mess, Pinkie’s floating and crashed halfway through my wardrobe in a hot air balloon, my clothes are—

“Wait, wha? PINKIE!”

She was caught on the bottom of the balloon, which was then caught on the wardrobe, which stopped her from floating off any further. Pinkie turned around, using her hooves like air-paddles to rotate. “Hey there, sleepy-head. Sorry about the whole turning-around thing! I bet my overinflated belly you were in a SWS sleep, like Twilight said, so I thought it’d be creepy if I was just lookin’ over you the whole time.”

Rainbow blinked, stunned. Then she blinked again. Nope, still stunned.

“Yeah, something tells me that’s not what’s bothering me, Pinkie. Maybe something else that, y’know, stands out a bit more?”

Pinkie raised her brow and pouted her lips, making her resemble a puzzled pufferfish. “Like what?”

“Well-uh, huh, the whole: ‘I’m a bloated pony floating in a balloon crashed into my friend’s house’ for starters! What about that?”

Pinkie frowned. “What about it?”

Rainbow couldn't believe her ears. “Whaddya mean what about it!? You could’a scratched Tank’s shell with this kind of aerial bombardment!”

At that, Pinkie smirked. Then grinned, then after that, smiled wide, showing her teeth. Her cheeks were getting redder. Is this it? My friend’s gonna blow up! “No, Pinkie! I didn’t mean it, I—”

“BWA hahahahahaahahahaaaaa, hahahahahahahahaha! Ohhhh, hahahahahahaaha whataboutit haa ha ha haaaaa...”

She whizzed around the cloud like a moth on a light. Rainbow piled onto the floor, ducking for her life as the crazed crazy flew around faster than… well, not herself, but fast enough to be the scariest thing within the vicinity.

Once it was all over, she looked up. There was Pinkie, sat on her whicker balloon seat, looking right back at her.

She was grinning at first, but after a glimpse of Rainbow’s terrified expression, she loosened her lower lip. “That was real mean of me, wasn’t it? Laughing at you like that… I didn’t know you’d forgotten your memory, Dash! Don’t worry, I’ll explain it real slow, just for you...

“Y’see Dash, this is the fifty-first time I’ve done this. Maybe not the fifty-first time I’ve crashed into your house though, that was an accident. Sorry! But anyways, yeah, I totally do this all the time. You probably sleep through it most of the time, that’s why you don’t notice it. Well, either that, or you've lost your memory.

“It’s because of the clouds, see. When I get sleepy, I get all thinky. Sometimes I think about clouds. They look kinda like cotton candy, don’t they? But what if they are cotton candy, right? So I go up here and check once in a while. After I eat, like, twenty pounds of the stuff, it makes me kinda gassy. That’s why I turn into a balloon! Neat, huh?

“I had to get something to stand on. Usually I ask the nice weatherponies if I can use their balloon, but last night they weren’t around. I borrowed this time, but I’ll totally give it back to them when I get back. That’s just fair!”

Rainbow hadn’t changed much since the last minute of explanation. Blinking, and it still didn’t change much. “I… uh… ‘kay. Y’know what, Pinkie? You do that. You do that good. And while you do that, I’m gonna stay here, you’re gonna give that balloon back, and then we’ll never say this happened to anypony, ever. Sound like a plan?”

Pinkie rolled her eyes at the disheveled heap of pony. “Tsk tsk tsk. Rainbow Dash, always makin’ a meal out of a molehill. Honestly, you’re inflating this issue for way more than it’s worth.

“Anyway, remember what I said, Dash. Meals outta molehills; don’t do it! Huh, that sounds tasty… uh, yeah, see ya!”