A Dance To Remember
"M-Mint? Where...where are we?" Diamond asked. He was light headed.
"I don't know D. Do you?"
"It looks like the pond outside the school...but I'm not certain," Diamond said, standing up from his fallen position.
"Yea. Yeah I think that's where we are! Look there's the school! But...how'd we get here?"
"I have no idea. I only remember leaving the house then driving down the road...nothing else. Do you?"
"Yeah. I don't remember pulling into the school. Nor do I remember coming over here," Mint said, standing up with Diamond next to the water.
"Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad we did. It's so beautiful out here."
"Yeah it is, isn't it," Mint said, looking to the clear sky. The full moon shone brightly and reflected on the water, giving them a natural spotlight with ambiance. She felt a hoof hit her shoulder and blushed as Diamond asked her to dance.
They didn't have actual music per ce, but they danced to the sounds of the rustling leaves. Mint listened intently, then heard a soft melody being played. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard! Piano with a twinkleing background.
As they danced, she felt herself ascending. Her wings were closed, so she wasn't flying. She assumed it was Diamond making a floating platform of somekind, so she went with it.
The song progressed, getting ever so slightly louder and louder, a continuous crescendo. A silvery blue mist started forming around the couple as they waltzed.
"Am I in heaven now? Is this real!" Mint found herself asking in her head. The song started to fade away as the two found themselves unbelievably close. They blushed together in a shade of crimson that seemed slightly faded.
"M-Mint? I...I love you," Diamond said, stuttering. Mint wasn't as shocked as she thought she would be or should be. She just smiled, blushing a deeper crimson.
"I-I love you too, D," Mint said, catching herself looking back at the pond. The moon was fully visible in the clear water, but despite being over it, she couldn't see themselves. It made Mint think for a second, but she was distracted by a hoof touching her chin, turning her head. Mint's mind went blank as the to kissed under the light of Luna's full moon. A shooting star flew overhead making a small trail in the sky. Having been shocked at first, Mint gave into the kiss and pushed back, wrapping her hooves around the stallion's neck.
It felt like eons had past, but in reality it was only a mere seven seconds. Diamond broke away and started to speak.
"Will you be my special somepony, Mint?" His face was not at all it's usual icy color. It was a hot shade of red. Mint's face reflected the color.
"A-are you serious? YES!" Mint squealed, hugging her new colt friend. The two ascended in the silvery mist before dissipating into the sky.
"Mr. Falls, Mrs. Flurry," the officer said.
"Yes?" the two said in unison, worriedly.
"I believe your children are...ahem...dead."
END
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COMPLETE!! Yay! But THE FEELS!
ITS UP!!!!! FINALLY IT IS UP
6441904 I SAW!
(Imma link urs to my desc so people can see it)
The way you ended it killed it for me you should have just ended with them flying away to heaven but other than that ig was good.
A lovely story! it has a beautiful romance since my oc's love story as well has to do with dance, hence my name Dance Cloud.
But 1 thing just always gets me annoyed when looking back here and it's the ending. There is no detail and a bit lack of sadness in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, it is sad their child died but just all of a sudden? I'd love to know what happened the moment before. What was Mint's condition that lead to the consequence? What was Diamond and Mint thinking before the baby arrived? What did the baby look like? Ending the story just with the news of a dead child just didn't trigger that sad emotion to me unfortunately.
I hope you consider my opinion and will us it in any other stories u have
6585239 what baby? Anyways, I didn't put the condition because I didn't know what kind of condition would happen normally in such situations. I'm actually just reaching the end of my drivers ed course, so now I know a bit more. But thanks for the advise!
6585924
I believe that was the part about the baby.... I might be wrong about what I'm thinking there but hey, at least this was definitely a story worth remembering! XD
6587047 oh. The "children" are Diamond and Mint. Sorry if that caused any confusion
Hey uh...for anyone who wants to read a really sad story, I got one on Wattpad. I even cried reading over it. My writing style has improved DRASTICALLY since this was written and I think y'all may like it? If you like 2nd person and Undertale. That's all I've really written on Wattpad tbh XD I know this could have been WAY better, but I just didn't have that concept of writing a sad fic. I can do it effectively now and I even got people really crying. If you wanna check it out, the link is here. Hope y'all had a happy Easter!