• Member Since 20th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 8th, 2019

Manticore328


E

After a mishap with a new experimental power suit High Marshal Kyle Jenkins finds himself far outside human controlled space on a planet were the dominant life form seems to be pony’s that don’t seem to speak English or anything remotely close to it. And if that wasn’t problem enough after his disappearance all four of the main tribes start looking for him.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 25 )

Its good so far, could be better if you just edit your mistakes, but i like it:twilightsmile:

knighty
Site Owner

[vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs] [vgs]

657737 My thoughts exactly.

I only found one mistake. You gave him both a Thumper DX and an Eagle pistol, but he shuld only have either a Thumper or an Eagle pistol. Great job, though! VGS VGS VGS VGS VGS VGS

I feel sorry for Spike in every way possible, because one does not simply charge at a Blood Eagle when he's already seen you.

688355 Haha well remeber Dragon scales are really tough so he should be fine as to the duel weapons i did that on purpose. I never understood why you couldn't just slap a pistol on one leg and a Thumper to the other. Isnt the goal to give all soldiers the best possible chance at survival?

689795 Even if Spike's scales protect him from projectiles, he'll still get the crap beaten out of him. And what happened to Kyle's belt item???

689828 Lost in his joy ride through space:rainbowlaugh: and i never said i was shooting any thing at spike my guess is even dragon scales wont protect you from high energy plasma

689884 Spike! Wanna meet Rocky Balboa??? Well, we can't do that, but we can give you what it would feel like!

669777 One does not simply VGS once.

That suit surely has some nice gadgets.

983704 yes it does and it would have to in a universe of constant war. Though there will be some..set backs:pinkiecrazy:

If you want, I could work as a proofreader. Let me know if you're interested.

1280700 I would like this very much.

1281720 I'm not sure how we would set it up though.

ashley.recovery.john98@gmail.com

you spelled waist wrong at "...no taller than his waste was some..."
you spelled ridiculous wrong at "...but this was just ridicules."
anyways, very good story. Keep writing
[VGW] Woohoo.

You miss a space at: "Jenkins looked at bowland then..."
Before you ask, I enjoy nitpicking. Anyways, THE PLOT THICKENS.

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