Nature of The Experiment

by Cracked Egg

Chapter 10 - Klutz

The windows in the library were open, letting a cool breeze draft through the tree. The smell of ink and paper was present in the air, and the sound of research was ever-present. I was engrossed in a book about pegasi anatomy, because I had clearly not done enough research as of late. While trying to keep my focus on the book, my mind kept thinking about the glitch present in my systems. To think I would be living up to my name in such a way was both hilarious and slightly mocking.

Reality has a strange sense of humor.

I flipped to the next page in my thirst for knowledge, while Twilight had a sea of books near her, still trying to look for anything about that mysterious box in the Everfree. I wasn't quite sure what to make of a sentient tree guiding the destiny of Twilight and her friends, whilst rewarding them with nothing more than a crystal box. Then again, we had Trevenants back home.

Spike was cleaning the place while wearing a frilly pink apron, a red heart stitched to the front of it. Because obviously wearing an apron is very manly these days. Twilight suddenly groaned, and threw a book at the wall in frustration, nailing Spike's feather duster in the process. Spike momentarily lamented the loss of the duster, then looked at Twilight with some worry in his expression.

"What's wrong, Twilight?" Spike asked, wondering why she was so annoyed.

Twilight huffed and rose to her hooves. Picking up a nearby book in her magic, she started flipping through the pages, while I glanced over at them in curiosity. Those two were quite vocal in their frustrations, so if anyone had anything to say on the matter, of course it would be Twilight.

"I've gone through every book in Ponyville, Spike, and there isn't a single mention of the mysterious chest that came from the Tree of Harmony, nor anything about keys to unlock it! But something tells me that opening it is pretty important. I hope Princess Celestia has some ideas. If the library in Canterlot doesn't have anything, I don't know where else to look!" She said, finishing her lengthy rant.

I took a once over of the tower of books she had made near Spike, then back over to her.

"Well, clearly it must be important if you're fretting so much over it. Think, Twilight. If the box just recently appeared, why would there be any information about it?" I reasoned, turning to the next page in the book I had.

"Books are records that others have made about their discoveries in the past. If such a thing only appeared recently, of course there won't be anything about it written anywhere. Because only you and a few others know about it so far."

Twilight sighed.

"I guess you're right, but it doesn't mean we can't keep searching." As she said this, she levitated a book out of the large tower of books, causing it to become unbalanced.

It collapsed in a book avalanche, covering Spike in hard-backs. He poked his head out of the pile and burped, a scroll appearing in his flame. The scroll dropped to the ground, and Twilight picked it up in her levitation to read it. I put a bookmark in my book and set it on the stool I had been sitting in, before hovering over next to Twilight.

I tilted my head to get a good look at the parchment. Twilight lifted the paper towards me, and I took it to read it aloud.

"Ahem. My dearest Twilight, while it would be perfectly lovely to have you in Canterlot once more, I have another option in mind much closer to Ponyville."

I moved the letter up a bit.

"As you know, the ancient castle that I once shared with Princess Luna lies mostly in ruins, deep in the Everfree Forest. But if you look carefully, you may find a book that could prove helpful to your research, hidden somewhere in what's left of the castle library."

I looked up from the scroll with a face of confusion.

"So, a ruin in the Everfree is a castle owned by the Princesses." I shrugged.

"Works for me." I handed the letter back to Twilight, and she placed it in her saddlebags. Hooking the saddlebags to her back, she made way for the door.

"C'mon, Spike, Lenkar! We're off to the Everfree!"

I rubbed my head, then sighed.

"More books. Yay."

[|||]

Don't get me wrong, I like research as much as the next scientist, but there's only so many times someone can hear the word 'book' before losing their ever-loving mind.

That being said, us three had set out for the princess' former castle right off. Let it be known that I'm continuously dragged off on these adventures at lack of consent.

I've been noticing that my inflection on events has become more and more disillusioned as of late, like I'm detached from reality while still trying to describe it. The third-to-first person whiplash is disconcerting, and finding the solid middle ground is even more confusing. It's like I'm watching the events play out before me while I'm just the passing observer, not an actual character in the events.

Besides my strange retronarrative issues, if retronarrative is even a word, I've also had issue putting my own emotions into my thoughts. This transformation may be sapping more out of me than I thought. That is not good in the slightest.

As me, Twilight, and Spike walked to the crumbling ruins, I noticed the Everfree was actually kind of pretty. It had it's own rugged charm to it, like an unkempt beauty shrouded in darkness and dread. The wild foliage surrounded the path we were on, the dirt road threatening to be swallowed by the vegetation around us.

Or perhaps I'm just ranting and waxing poetic at the same time.

We reached the bridge to the old castle, and stopped to fondly regard the building. We were shaken out of our reverie because my antenna started playing music again.

"Welp, guess we're listening to some songs while we work." I deadpanned, tired of everything going on so far.

I really need a break.

Twilight chuckled, while Spike agreed with tone internally, not wanting to get left behind in the forest due to a little snark.

We entered the castle, and holy hallways, Zubatman!

I know, I know, I'm well aware of the horrible pun of that name, but oh well. At least it wasn't that error pun.

The hallway was high above our heads, carved of stone that had seen it's years of wear and tear. At the end of the hall were two tapestries, hanging from the ceiling. Light shone in from above, where some of the roof had collapsed. I saw six similarly large openings branching off into different hallways. I was astounded by the view.

We gazed at the beautiful architecture in silence as we roamed the halls, heading towards the library. Once we reached it, Twilight pulled open the purple doors with her magic, being careful not to damage them. Once we had a good view of the library, we all gasped in shock at the sheer audacity of the room.

Good GRACIOUS that is a lot of reading material!

I looked over at Twilight, only to be met with an expression of glee frozen on her face. Her jaw was hanging open, and her eyes were stretching open somehow, making her face seem really large. While I was tempted to make a long face pun, I was kinda worried that wasn't healthy for her face muscles.

What? I'm a technophile, not a biologist!

Twilight gasped again in happy glee, jumping right into the air, and staying there with her wings. I had been so engrossed in... something that I forgot about her wings entirely. As she flew about the library, she called down to me and Spike.

"Look at all these ancient books! It's a veritable goldmine of information!" She landed near an overturned desk.

"I can't believe it! Woo-hoo!" She let out a holler of enjoyment, as she jumped head-first into a pile of books, before poking her head out of them.

I shook my head at her antics. "I'm not sure how you could be so happy about books."

While me and Twilight were bantering, Spike was wandering around, feeling very anxious over the creepy setting. He suddenly heard the scuttling of insects, and tripped backwards, rolling head over heels until he came to a stop under a statue. Letting out a groan of pain, he chuckled nervously, and spoke over to Twilight.

"Yeah... So, uh, Twilight. Uh, ready to head home?" He asked, inwardly pleading to get away from the unsettling decorum or the spooky creatures.

Twilight was far too enthralled in her knowledge pile to pay attention to Spike's scared tone.

"Are you kidding? This place is perfect!" She grinned, settling in a nest of books to read.

I floated over to Spike, and found him in a fetal position amidst a bunch of spiders. I was about to shoo them away from the frightened dragon, but I instead inspected them a bit more closely. While Spike was having issues with the spiders, I had none, considering I've worked with a Spinarak or two in my time.

I looked over the spider, and began to take in it's details. It had a dark blue, almost black exoskeleton that seemed to reflect the night sky. It's head had bright blue orbs for eyes, with one big one and five smaller ones in a row around the top. It had small grey pincers for fangs, and it had a single cyan star marked across it's back.

"Spike, calm down, they're not going to hurt you. In fact, these seem similar to the Bug Type Pokemon from where I lived." I said, trying to reassure the poor drake.

He looked at me, his fears damped, instead finding curiosity.

"Really? Huh." He shifted away from a star spider that had crawled near him.

I dropped the spider I was holding, and dusted off my flippers.

"Well, we're gonna be here for a while. Might as well make ourselves at home."

I turned away from Spike to leave, but he grabbed my tail before I could. He looked up at me with pleading eyes. I just rolled by eyes and sighed. Putting a limb to my head, I grumbled.

"Fine, you can help me look over the place. I wanna see what kind of technology these Princesses of yours used back in the day. Maybe it'll give me some insight on your culture." I said, resigned.

Spike beamed, and jumped onto my tail, holding on for dear life. I wobbled in the air a bit, trying to level myself to accommodate the new weight, and flipped my tail back so Spike could sit on it. With him in tow, we flew out the library and down the halls in search of ancient whatever.

[|||]

"Arceus dammit, Spike."

We both groaned in unison, as I rose into the air. We had both been searching a few rooms for artifacts or treasures when Spike had lifted a vase, triggering a wall trap that caused the floor to spring upward and at us, sending us flying out the strategically placed window. The place had it's fair share of tricks, for sure.

I would have used Magnet Rise to stay aloft, but the unexpected floor turning into a wall sort of prevents you from staying in the air. I rubbed my back and stretched a bit, the impact from the fall had certainly loosened a few things in my body. What things, I wasn't quite sure of.

I looked over at Spike, who was still prone on the ground, groaning in agony. I dusted myself off and looked up at the castle, which had a gargoyle statue resting on a perch above. It glared down at me, as if mocking me for trying to find it's secrets, so I just glared back. Finishing my staring contest with the statue, which I certainly won, I held my aching 'shoulder' and flew towards a nearby doorway.

I looked up and down the halls, and saw a few sets of armor on display, but nothing to tell me of where we had been flung off to.

"Oh, joyous day."

I sighed, and flew back over to Spike. I nudged him, and he just rolled over while groaning some more.

"Spike, get up. We need to find Twilight."

Spike shot up at that, while I laughed. I helped him up, and looked about the courtyard we had landed in. There were a few statues here and there, but there was one at the very back that caught my interest. I squinted at it, noticing it's bizarre snake-like form.

"On second thought, Spike, you go look for Twilight."

Spike gave me a look of both confusion and fright.

"Uh, I really don't want to go in there on my own."

I faceflippered, and turned towards him. Floating down to meet him at eye level, I rested my arm on his shoulder.

"You'll be fine, just use your fire breath on any of those creatures."

The poor baby dragon was rattled by the castle, but I gave him a reassuring push towards the doorway. He nodded, and began his trek into the castle.

I turned towards the statue that had garnered my notice, and flew towards it. I stopped right in front of it, stunned by what it actually was. As I sat there on the ground in awe at the creature before me, I looked at the inscription under it, and read it aloud.

"Zygarde, the Guardian of Order, Protector of Harmony. May you guide our lands to peace."

[|||]

I had been resting at the base of the frilled snake-like Pokemon statue for quite a while. Every time I looked up at the Zygarde statue, I cringed, and averted my gaze, fearing it might strike down at me for simply tainting it with my presence.

I was well aware of Zygarde. It lived in the mountainous regions of Kalos, inside a cavern known as Terminus Cave. The place was a cherished part of the mining community, and there were sometimes a few nature activists who would set up camp in the area, if only to feel the power radiating off of the cave.

I had once visited it myself, considering my brother lived in Couriway Town. Me and him would often visit either Terminus Cave to see the wonderful rock formations, or Anistar City and it's crystal sundial. We both often debated touring Kalos, our first stop being Geosenge Town, but those were put to rest when Team Flare popped up outta nowhere.

The world had seen many of those insane Teams come and go, each more crazy than the last, yet never without an equally devoted trainer from some small town there to stop them. It was an interesting occurrence that I had years spent studying, to no avail. Except for the one time I had visited Terminus Cave, and found a secret pathway within...

[|||]

...I tripped over a boulder.

I was in Terminus Cave, running across a bridge, when I tripped over a boulder that was sliced in half, only to fall off the bridge and scrape my knee. Holding my bloodied knee, I got up to my feet. There wasn't much damage, just a small cut. I limped onward down the corridor. After walking a few lengths, I stopped to rest, and leaned against the wall to the left of me.

The wall caved in. As it collapsed, I could hear the sound of my brother yelling my name. I was tossed about as I tumbled down the dirt and rock tunnel, before coming to rest in a large underground cavern. There was a hallway ahead of me, so I lifted myself up in pain, rubbing my various bruises. I limped even more now from my injuries, but continued forward.

I wasn't even sure where I was going, but the usually present force that blanked the cave was now drawing me towards it's source. As I reached a branching path, I noticed there were six paths around me. One behind me, one in front, and two on either side. I continued forward, as that was where the strange power was leading me.

I walked forward, my injuries now just a dull ache, as I came to a stop at the end of the tunnel. Inside lay a huge chamber, with steps that led up to a platform made of the very earth itself. I was in shock, not about the room before me, but what lay resting on the platform.

A green and black snake lifted it's head to view me, it's hexagonal patterned eyes judging me from afar. It rose to it's full height, the frills that spread from it's neck glowing in some sequence I could not discern. It's tail flowed behind it, the ground beneath me trembling in awe at the presence of their master.

Zygarde.

"Speak now, human. Why have you disturbed my slumber?"

As it spoke, I felt an overwhelming sense of need, an urge to fix something. Zygarde stared at me for the longest time, it's tail being the only feature betraying it's still visage. It nodded, it's scales aglow with power. The glow traced the ground, and formed a hexagon around me. I felt the pain in my body lessen, and my wounds began to heal.

I stretched a bit, then dusted off my lab coat. Looking up at Zygarde, I huffed and ruffled my dark hair. I spoke up towards the Order Pokemon.

"I was curious." I spoke the truth in the matter. I was a scientist first, and if it meant finding a Legendary Pokemon resting in this cave, then so be it.

Zygarde seemed to bristle, it's scales glistening brightly for a moment. It then relaxed, inwardly reasoning with itself. It spoke once more.

"Curiosity? How primitive." It remained in place, while I tried to keep calm and stiff. I did not want to anger this being.

"If there are answers you seek, I may impart them to you. You are a man of learning, are you not?" It spoke with amusement, and I could have sworn a bit of paternal pride.

I nodded, and folded my arms behind me, my green eyes betraying my firm face. I was afraid of Zygarde, but not without reason. I had heard of many people in the past who approached a Legendary without knowing what they were walking into, and they suffered for it. I was not going to take any chances.

"Then ask." It said, waiting for my questions.

I gulped down my fear, and stepped forward. Stammering a bit, I asked my first inquiry.

"May I learn about you?"

Zygarde froze. It turned it's head to gaze at the ceiling in thought. We both remained in silence for a while, the sound of water dripping from above being the only noise nearby. I was startled by it abruptly looking down at me, but my fears were alleviated when it spoke.

"You may."

It slithered up to me. I felt pure scrutiny cascading off it's entire body, as if deeming everything around it correctly placed or not. It looked me over, then moved past me. I followed it towards the center of the cavern. There, it stopped, as if lost in thought.

"I will tell you a story." I nodded, slowly lowering myself to the ground. Crossing my legs together, Zygarde began it's tale.

"Long ago, Dialga, Palkia, and Giranta had been created. Time, Space, and Antimatter. After them, Xerneas and Yveltal. Life and Death. Except one day, there was an accident. Pieces of raw matter had cancelled themselves out upon Xerneas and Yveltal's birth. A being that should not be was made. An abomination to reality itself by merely existing. Error incarnate."

I sat there diligently, hanging on every word. Zygarde continued.

"A missing number in the very building blocks of everything, it was thus named MISSINGNO."

When the name was spoken, the entire world shivered, as if everything was in agreement that it shouldn't exist.

"MISSINGNO. was seen as a defect by Arceus. It began to corrupt reality around it. Xerneas and Yveltal fought endlessly, while MISSINGNO. only caused more chaos. Thus, Arceus made the ultimate mediator."

I was still sitting there, drinking in the knowledge it gave me. Zygarde nodded.

"I was created, to keep order between the three beings. Yet even that was not enough."

Zygarde sighed, the land shaking in similar sentiment.

"MISSINGNO. was already loathed by Arceus, and so it was cast away into the Distortion World, where Giratina resided."

I put a hand to my chin in thought, while Zygarde shook it's head.

"Giratina hated MISSINGNO. the most, as it was an affront to it's existence. Time, Space, and Antimatter held a meeting. They all came into agreement that MISSINGNO. must be removed."

Zygarde lowered it's head. I folded my arms and exhaled deeply, in suspense for what it had to say. So far, the entire story was quite interesting. An entire Pokemon borne from an accident? Astonishing!

"So, they created a pocket dimension where MISSINGNO. could have free roam to corrupt, and no longer damage the world. It was sealed inside the dimension, never to be seen again."

I propped my head onto my arm, getting a little restless from sitting so long. Zygarde noticed, and thus sped up his tale a little.

"Though it did not last very long. Darkrai and Cresselia were created to make a balance within the dream world. It was then they both discovered an insanity had been spreading in the minds of both human and Pokemon."

Zygarde stopped while I shifted into a more comfortable position. Seeing he was waiting for me to stop fidgeting, I resisted the urge to cringe, and made a motion with my hand.

"Sorry, continue."

Zygarde chuckled a bit, and resumed his tale.

"The insanity was being caused by MISSINGNO. Darkrai and Cresselia had both begun their work at limiting MISSINGNO.'s influence within the dream realm. They were only so successful."

It eyed me again to make sure I was paying attention, and I was. I'm a sucker for lengthy exposition, and I will certainly not apologize for it. I'll take what knowledge I may be given, thank you very much.

"So, MISSINGNO. was allowed access to the dream realm, but only to those he had already corrupted mentally. Generations later, the insanity was still present, some more focused than most. These highly corrupted individuals formed together and gave rise to Teams, and these Teams were intent on corrupting the world, just as their corrupter once did."

My face showed complete bafflement at this revelation. MISSNGNO. was responsible for those crazy Teams?!

"Arceus devised a solution to such a problem. Whenever a Team would arise, he would choose a hero to stop them. Indeed, at every turn, this was true. The world continues in this cycle today, and I am the watcher of it."

I gaped in sudden reverence at what had been revealed to me. Zygarde slithered towards his chamber, but stopped behind me.

"What is your full name?"

I swallowed, and spoke in a croaking voice from fear.

"Vintage Lenkar Von EnGlitch."

Zygarde nodded.

"Thank you for listening, Vintage."

I blinked.

"Anytime."

[|||]

I was rustled from my nostalgic memories by the sound of screaming nearby. I rose into the air, worried by the amount of noise echoing out of the castle. I turned to the Zygarde statue, and rested a blue limb on it for a moment. I had no clue why it was there, but I was glad anyway.

"Thanks, Zygarde."

Having given my gratitude, I zoomed off into the halls, trying to find the ponies I had just recently met. I zipped throughout the hallways, using Agility to bolster my speed a bit. I halted in my tracks at the sound of an organ playing. I decided to follow that, and flew into a nearby hall. I reached the front entrance, and heard the pipe organ's haunting tune bellowing throughout the place.

I took note that it was coming out of the second doorway on my left, and flew into it. Hovering down the hall, I saw five ponies and a dragon ahead of me.

"Hey! There you all are!"

I had yelled to them, but the organ was far too loud. They kept walking. I stayed close behind them, not wanting to startle them in any way. We all came up to a doorway with a deep red-colored carpet. The carpet had white bars along the sides of it, with music notes in a pattern along it.

We all entered the room, and saw a cloaked figure sitting at the pipe organ. Twilight cautiously approached it, and tapped the pony with a hoof.

The pony suddenly flung it's cloak off, revealing...

"Hey, you guys! Did you know I can totally play the organ? Because I didn't!"

"PINKIE?!"

The pink pony giggled, and pointed at the large instrument in front of her.

"Check it out!" She played the organ, and I heard the distinct sound of the sports charge theme.

Rainbow Dash flew over next to her, while I lagged behind the crowd and out of sight.

"You're the Pony of Shadows?" The cyan pegasus said, incredulously.

Pinkie continued to play the organ. "The pony of what?"

I faceflippered at this nonsense. As everypony continued talking about Arceus knows what, Pinkie mashed a key on the organ, causing a trick tile to send Spike flying through the air. I only had a second to look up at him falling towards me, before I was sent crashing into the ground with a green and purple dragon on top of me.

"Spike. Get off." I said, annoyed at how many times I had been crashing into things.

Spike stumbled off me, and onto his feet. I heard everypony laughing while me and Spike just sighed.

[|||]

"...and then you're gonna get a nice big red and blue banner, OH! And maybe even a few dozen yellow cupcakes! I hope you like vanilla! Oh, and possibly a..."

Arceus, please save me from this pink pony. She's relentless.

I groaned as Pinkie Pie continued to ramble about the party I was sure as the sky was blue to get. I kept trying to tell her I wasn't one for social events, but she just kept going and going. I was suddenly reminded of those Energizer Buneary commercials. Then I was reminded of those Anistar Bars. Now I'm hungry. Dammit.

Wait, can I even eat? I know I can't drink anything, but...

As my thought trailed off, I noticed Pinkie had stopped talking. Finally. I hovered over to Twilight and Spike, sitting down next to the dragon to see what he was reading. I heard Rarity knitting the tapestry she had been trying to move in the front entrance.

"I swear, this is going right back where I found it just as soon as I've returned it to its former glory."

I looked over at Rarity.

"Of course you are. It belongs in this castle anyway."

She just hummed in response, while I glanced over towards Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy was talking with Angel Bunny, who I was certain was spoiled to the core.

"Now don't go running off again!"

Angel nodded, only to go hopping off in the direction of a carrot bowl sitting near Twilight. He grabbed a carrot and started nibbling on it, while Fluttershy sighed.

"Oh, I can't believe I was so frightened. Guess I let my imagination get the best of me."

Applejack shifted her hat. "I think we all did."

"I always let my imagination run away from me!" Pinkie said, with a grin that I feared may fall right off her face.

"Then it comes back... with cake!" She finished, before pulling a cupcake out of her mane and eating it in one bite.

I blinked at her craziness, and immediately thought the book Spike was reading was really interesting all of a sudden.

It's just a pony, you should really just relax.

I repeated the MST3K Mantra in my head a few times, and Twilight addressed the room.

"Well, it's good to know that whenever your imagination is getting away from you, a good friend can help you rein it in. And even though I didn't find anything out about the mysterious chest, I'm glad I was here to help all of you."

Rarity nodded. "You certainly did that, Twilight."

Rainbow Dash motioned towards Twilight. "Yeah! Why weren't you scared?"

Twilight lifted up the journal she was holding to show everypony. "Reading Celestia's diary made it hard to be afraid, because I knew what it was like when she and Luna lived here. Knowing something about the past made it easier to deal with my problems in the present, even the scary ones."

Everypony made various sounds of agreement, while I slapped a flipper to my head.

"Study history or find yourself repeating it! Welp, no wonder!"

We all laughed, and Twilight perked up at an idea that crossed her mind.

"I've just thought of a great idea!" But I just... Oh, Twilight...

"Why don't we keep a journal, just like the royal pony sisters?" Twilight suggested.

Fluttershy shuffled her hooves, and I crossed my arms. "All of us?"

Twilight beamed, and nodded. "Sure! That way we can learn from each other! And maybe some day, other ponies will read it and learn something, too!"

"What a splendid idea!" Rarity said in agreement.

My face twisted in confusion, while Applejack spoke up.

"I know what my first entry will be! 'Dear Diary, I'm glad Granny Smith's legend wasn't true.'"

My eyes shifted between Twilight and Applejack.

"Wait, you're trying to tell me you weren't doing this before?" I said, in disbelief they'd have just now realized they could do this.

Twilight shared my confused expression. "Of course! Normally I would write to the Princess, but I think this will be better!"

Rainbow Dash nodded. "Me too!"

Pinkie jumped in the air. "Me three! Because that means you two are still tied for Most Daring Pony!"

After Pinkie yelled that, I saw Rainbow Dash and Applejack glaring at each other competitively. I shook my head, and folded my arms behind me. Sighing, I looked at Spike.

"This sure has been an adventure alright."

Spike chuckled.

"Heh, Shadow Ponies... How ridiculous is that?"

I laughed with him. "Very."

I was about to get up, when I saw something move in the hallway. I could have sworn I saw yellow eyes sending their piercing stare at me from the darkness, but when I blinked it wasn't there.

Welp.

Author's Note:

I debated going to sleep and finishing this in the morning, but then I remembered my brain gets wiped clean when I wake up. Not to mention I type directly into the chapter box, leaving you guys with an incomplete chapter. That just won't do, eh?

This is also a very, very long chapter. Enjoy!

Constructive criticism is appreciated.

Comments

[Cracked Egg]

6417746

There's a few kinks I'm ironing out in the plotline.

For now though, I'm going to be ever so often looking at the comments and cringing...

[Cracked Egg]

6417746

On another note, it was a third-to-first person perspective that I use sometimes.

It's both grating on the brain, and counter-intuitive.

Sort of like saying, "You flipped the switch on the wall." Except it isn't you, it's the character, and the narrator is referring to the character as "you."

Homestuck shows this issue thoroughly and annoyingly, yet it's extremely popular anyway.

Then again, I have no such refuge in audacity.

This may take a while.

[Cracked Egg]

6417977

World of Warcraft?

[Xzaves]

6417870 Irons are kinky

[wlam]

We entered the castle, and holy hallways, Zubatman!

I know, I know, I'm well aware of the horrible pun of that name, but oh well. At least it wasn't that error pun.

...I want to say something snarky about this, but at this point it would feel kind of hypocritical.