Radiated Darth
Joined 7th Aug, 2015 ·
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For a first attempt, I say you did pretty well.
Needs more breast and fucking!!!
no just kidding I give it a 10/11 
I LIKE IT CAN YOU DO ONE WERE TWILIGHT GET PREGNANT BY HIM
Really good man, keep it up
Like
6354085
said, for a first time very good
But it still felt kinda rushed, you could have easily doubled word count without making it long-winded
Keep it up
I'm just here to correct something said in your authors note spike is not a baby they just foolishly treat him like one if you remember twilight was only a little filly when she hatched spike she was only a few years old herself meaning spike is only a few years younger than her she was probably about 6 at the time so hed be about 6 years younger than her
What if it was an everyday sex life?