A Chance Meeting

Absolutely Disgusting12,181 stories ·605 members

Derpy Hooves has been a silent fan of Rainbow Dash for a long time. Circumstances lead to her secret coming out.

My first attempt at a one-shot. I might add more Dash/Derpy shenanigans sometime.

EDIT: I am aware I missed a huge, HUGE plot hole concerning a certain scene. Thank you for everybody who pointed it out. It really furthers me as a writer, and I'll be sure that next time, I'll analyze plot more carefully.

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Comments ( 8 )

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Shamrock95

Shamrock95 #1 · Aug 28th, 2015 · · ·

"Really? You all are going to follow something that a filly started? Why do I have to be the adult here?"

My thoughts exactly. Why did the adults start chanting slurs at Derpy? Did the whole town take asshole pills by mistake that morning?

I'll be frank: if you'd made it so that it was just Diamond Tiara making fun of Derpy, the scene would have been much more believable, and thus more heartwarming and satisfying. I'm sorry, but I don't believe that a group of adults would start childishly taunting someone on a whim like that, especially not in a town like Ponyville. It sucked me right out.

StolenMemes

StolenMemes #2 · Aug 28th, 2015 · · ·

I think you did a really good job with this, though the part where the adults join Diamond Tiara is a LITTLE far fetched, I didn't really bother me that much. Other than that, the only problem was that the part where Diamond Tiara is being scolded is typed in twice. I still think it was a great story though. Good job.

Vanilla Hex

Vanilla Hex #3 · Aug 28th, 2015 · · ·

6368991 Ahhh, you're right! I actually originally was going to make the whole bullying scene a sort of nightmare sequence that Derpy was having, but scrapped it. For some reason I left the huge group of ponies bullying her in there. Major oversight on my part, I apologize about that. Thanks for notifying me though!

Vanilla Hex

Vanilla Hex #4 · Aug 28th, 2015 · · ·

6369017 Thank you very much! Yeah, you're right, it is pretty farfetched. Not sure how I managed to miss that. I edited it accordingly so that the part wasn't typed twice. Still not sure how that happened!

TheFanficFanPony

TheFanficFanPony #5 · Aug 28th, 2015 · 2 · ·

I don't think Diamond would do that to not only a full-grown adult who could seriously harm her, but also a pony who could tell her father and be believed. She is a bully, but that's a bit far fetched.

deadpansnarker

deadpansnarker #6 · Aug 29th, 2015 · 3 · ·

I know Diamond Tiara's special talent is rumoured to be leadership, but making out she can command swathes of adults to participate in mindless verbal abuse, at such a tender age, is stretching credibility just a tad...

Anhel