Chapter 3: "...Shut up, Gary..."
“And he was bound by chains made for a lesser being, in a crater made by many lesser beings. He was quiet, and did not protest his treatment, for everything was part of his grand plan. Truly, a it was a masterful manipulation, for even though it would have done nothing to hold him, he let them think they had won for a while, before he proved them wrong.”
-Prison for a God, from the Brotherhood of Man’s holy book, A Darker World.
***
Hayato leaned against a wall, pressing himself as close as possible in an attempt to hide from his pursuers. Twenty minutes, twenty damn minutes they had been chasing him through the town with no signs of it ending. He found himself pleasantly surprised that he was not running out of steam already. In fact, he felt better than he had in years.
He hadn’t heard the shouts of the crowd for several minutes, so he assumed that he was in the clear; how very wrong he was. As he pushed off the wall, he rounded a corner, and there in the street was the mob, waiting patiently. Apparently, in the time he had been hiding, they had taken a quick breather, and appeared to have doubled in number. He took back his earlier thought; fate hated him.
He went to turn and run, but found himself staring at another mass of ponies. They were getting clever. He quickly came up with a plan to escape again. The plan on the other hand, was crazy. Crazy enough that it might just work...or blow up in his face horribly.
“Ha ha ha, I see you have been lured right into my trap!”
“W-what, we are the ones who have trapped you foul human!”
“Did you now? Because to me it looks like you are all in the perfect position to be attacked! ATTACK NOW, SECOND!”
At the thought that Lord Second might be free among them, heads whipped around in a frenzy trying to locate him before they were wiped out. But no matter where they looked, there wasn’t a human in sight. That included Hayato, who had taken the moment to climb a fire escape and flee onto the rooftops.
I can’t believe that actually worked! It isn’t going to help my reputation at all, but I suppose when you have a mob chasing after you, you’ve pretty much hit rock bottom anyway.
Not having thought his entire plan through, Hayato now found himself being chased by pegasi who had an unobstructed view of him, and a pretty decent aim with bricks. Once again his apparent latent ninja abilities activated, allowing him to dodge and flip over anything they could throw at him. Luckily for everyone involved, he was getting used to all of the jumps and flips and thus would not be puking again.
...Hopefully.
Eventually, Hayato found himself standing on the ledge of a building, looking at the huge gap that stood in the way of the next rooftop. While he was getting confident in these new parkour abilities he seemed to have developed, he wasn’t certain that he could jump a fifteen foot gap just yet.
While he seemed to be on friendly terms with physics right now, he didn’t want to push his luck too much. He was betting that if he tried breaking physics too much, physics would try to break him. However, he had to make a decision soon, as the pegasi were fast approaching his location.
Since his options seemed to be either jumping a gap or facing down a mob, he was not feeling that optimistic about his current state of affairs. In the end the desire to not be eaten by horses won out, and he took a few steps back in preparation.
You can do this, Hayato. If a teenager can beat an army, then you can beat a gap.
Not feeling any better after his self-pep talk, he ran at top speed towards the edge of the building. With a strong push of his legs, Hayato launched himself off like an Olympian. Unfortunately for him, his footing was loose, and the jump was far from perfect.
“Hot damn, I think I am going to make it!” he thought as he sailed through the air.
Reality had different plans, as he smacked into the edge of the building. Hard.
The entire mob stopped and grimaced as the sickening smack echoed through the area. Impressively enough, he managed to put a human-shaped hole in the brickwork, and they could no longer see him. Although, given the way he hit, they figured they had time to catch up to him inside the building.
Hayato meanwhile found himself lying face down in a large bathtub. For a minute, he just laid there, unable to feel anything. Unfortunately he regained the ability to feel, and all he felt was pain. This was easily shaping up to be the worst day of his life. Well, that is if you didn’t count the weekend he spent in Florida.
That fucking clown will haunt me forever.
Remembering that he had a mob outside waiting for him, Hayato pushed himself out of the bathtub. He examined his reflection in a nearby mirror. He had brick dust on him and blood in his hair; he looked like hell.
Still not as bad as Florida.
***
Shining Armor marched boldly into town, flanked by the 501st. Normally the town would be bustling at this time of day, but instead it was eerily quiet. At the very least, he was expecting to hear screaming, or see ponies panicking in the streets, but instead it was a ghost town.
“Sir, I don’t see anypony. You don’t think the human already...?”
“Don’t say it. We have to at least believe that this one shares his predecessors’ restraint with regards to killing. Double-time, ponies! We need to be quick about this.”
With renewed determination, the army made its way through the streets of Hoofington in search of the human. Shining Armor was losing hope for survivors as they found street after street empty, not a sign of life anywhere.
At this point it was getting unsettling. They should have at least seen unconscious ponies lying here or there. They finally found a trail to follow when a scout found an alley littered with debris, and a dumpster sticking out of a wall. While they investigated the scene, pegasus scouts were sent out to find any survivors. It did not take long for one to report back with good news.
“I have located the mob, sir. They are ten blocks north of us and they seem to be surrounding a single building. I see no signs of the human.”
Knowing that they had to stop the mob before they got themselves hurt, Shining Armor ordered all of his soldiers to gallop over there at full speed.
When they arrived, the mob just stared at them before bursting out into cheers. Several of the ponies shouted that the human was inside the building. Shining Armor had to get the situation under control, so he stepped forwards and addressed the crowd.
“Citizens of Hooftington, I need you all to back away from the building and let us handle the situation. This is royal guard business, and I want all civilians out of the area, immediately.”
***
Hayato looked around the apartment for anything that could be remotely useful in his current predicament. The only thing that fit his definition of ‘useful’ that he could find was a bottle of cider, which he proceeded to practically inhale down his gullet. This horrific display was unfortunately witnessed by a young colt who decided to skip school today.
Hayato tried to say something, but only succeeded in burping loud enough rattle the pictures on the walls.
“I give that an eight out of ten.”
“An eight? That is at least a nine on any scale.”
Wait, that isn’t what’s important right now.
“You aren’t afraid to see a human up close?”
“Well I would have had to have been here to see a human, but today is a school day you see. A good student like me would be at school studying hard, and would not have seen any humans...”
“Of course, well then I will show myself out.”
Hayato headed out the colt’s apartment into the rest of the building. It did not take him long to descend the stairs and reach the front door. Having been distracted by yet another strange encounter, he forgot that he was running from a mob, and opened the door without even looking.
He was happy to see that the mob that had been chasing him for what felt like all day was gone. The downside to this was it seemed some sort of military outfit had replaced them. God forbid one good thing happen to him while he was stuck in ponyland. Looking at the military ponies, there had to be hundreds of them, maybe even a thousand.
Knowing that the building wasn’t going to offer him much protection, Hayato stepped out of the door, and closed it behind him. Stepping away from the large militia was a white unicorn that looked very familiar to Hayato.
I think I know that pony. He had a stupid name like Suit of Armor or something.
“Attention human! My name is Captain Shining Armor.”
Yeah, that was it. What would his parents have done if he grew up to be a painter or something?
“We’ve dealt with your kind before, I’ll have you know, and we do not take to your presence lightly.”
Wait a second, yeah, I do know him! Wasn’t this jackass part of that stupid royal wedding thing?
“I am giving you one chance to surrender peacefully, and if you do not, we will use force!”
“Okay then, I surrender,” Hayato said, sticking his arms up in the air.
“What? Seriously?”
“Well yeah, you have an army. The crazy hicks I could run from, an entire army is a whole different story. So yeah, you got me.”
Shining Armor was dumbfounded.
“Hey, no tricks now! I know you humans!”
“No tricks. I give up. Please don’t kill me.”
Shining’s eyes darted side to side nervously.
“Uh could you give us a moment please? Lieutenants, gather around me.”
“Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.”
The captain and his immediate underlings all pulled into a huddle with their back turned to Hayato as the rest of the army kept their weapons trained on the human, and he just stood still with his arms in the air, looking around him and seeming confused.
“I am going to be honest guys, I was not expecting this,“ Shining confessed, “I figured we would be fighting right now until backup arrived to seal him away like with Second. Now we’ve got a new problem though: How do we restrain something that powerful?”
“Honestly sir, I have no idea. Perhaps we could just ask him to come without restraints?”
“That’s a stupid idea, and it’s going on your record.”
“Well what else can we do? Cuffs are too weak to hold them, and magic doesn’t affect them anyway. What have we got that can even touch them other than the elements?”
“This is such a stupid idea,” Shining Armor sighed, “If it doesn’t work, you are stuck on latrine duty for a year.”
“Is it too late to retract my idea, sir?”
“Yes.”
Breaking the huddle, Shining Armor turned back to the human who was still standing there, holding his arms in the air.
“Ahem, since you are being so cooperative, I am willing to treat you fairly. If you agree to come along without a fight, I will not restrain you with cuffs or magic. Deal?”
“Sure, that sounds good to me. I’m not fond of cuffs anyway.”
“BOO-YA!” exclaimed the lieutenant.
“...Shut up, Gary...”
He’s clearly not bitter at all.
“Sooo...take me to your leader?”
It took all Shining Armor had to not smack his head on something hard. He needed to keep an air of calm, so instead he ordered his ponies to surround the human and move out. They would meet up with the soldiers that were surrounding the town, and head towards Equestria’s best kept secret. Normally a prisoner would be taken straight to Canterlot for processing and then imprisonment. This was no ordinary prisoner though. This time, they were taking a detour.
They were going to Nameless.
***
Five ponies watched in horror as their idol was surrounded by Equestria’s finest and marched out of town. Thankfully, all the other ponies of Hoofington were too busy celebrating their so called success to notice that some of them were less than happy about it.
“This is bad everypony!” said Lyra, “That was the 501st Legion! The most elite soldiers of Equestria’s royal guard!”
“Even if they are the best, there is no way they could have beaten Lord Third, especially without a fight.”
“I hate to break it to you Fleetfoot, but it looked to me like Lord Third surrendered to them,” Abstract Theory pointed out.
“Well, perhaps it was to avoid a fight? When he was being chased by the mob he didn’t once try to attack them; perhaps he felt it was the best way to avoid triggering another war?”
“We can’t trust them, you guys!” cried Bon Bon, on the edge of hysterics, “Ponies were the cause of the last war! What if they provoke him, and start it again? We have to go after him!”
There was a reason Bon Bon’s treats were so good. That reason being that the baker was just as sweet as the products she made. Whenever somepony or something she cared about was in trouble, she had a tendency to get very emotional about it.
“Yes my dear, that is a wonderful idea,“ Fancy Pants agreed, “Say, why don’t you come with me to acquire a carriage for us to ride in, hmm?”
Although he was quite capable of doing the job himself, Fancy Pants needed to get her away from the denizens of the town, before they started asking why somepony was crying on such a momentous occasion. The last thing they needed was for the Brotherhood to be discovered at this juncture. If that were to happen, then all of their reputations would be irreparably destroyed.
Not all ponies were as open minded about humans as they were.
“Following them is all well and good, but we need to figure out a way to get to him and make sure everything is okay,” said Abstract.
“I bet I could get into wherever they’re holding him. Wonderbolts are given free access to a lot of restricted areas, since we also act as a military unit.”
“I as well could most likely gain admission,” Abstract Theory added, “I can simply message Princess Celestia about offering my services once more in dealing with the human. She would not be surprised to learn that I have already discovered his existence.”
Lyra rubbed her hooves against her temples in frustration. At this moment she was feeling very useless to the cause of rescuing the Third. Granted, she loved her job, but playing music was not going to help her get close to him. She was glad they had two ponies in a better position to help, but the feeling of her own irrelevance to her savior caused a kind of emotional pain that was new to her.
“Okay, well-”
“Hey, aren’t you Fleetfoot of the Wonderbolts?”
The group froze up as a colt seemingly appeared out of nowhere. They had been so busy with trying to figure out how to free the Third, they didn’t notice somepony just walking up to them until it was too late. Good thing for them, flying wasn’t the only thing Fleetfoot was fast at, and she turned to face the yellow colt with a smile.
“Yep, that’s me.”
“This is so cool, I didn’t think I would ever run into you here! I’m one of your biggest fans! Now that I think of it...why are you here?”
“Oh, I was just passing by when I heard about the human that was in town, so I thought I would swing by and make sure everything was safe.”
“You’re the best, you know that?! Could I...um....get your autograph?”
While the colt looked around for something to sign, Fleetfoot pulled out her spare pen, used especially for autographs. Every Wonderbolt carried an emergency autograph pen wherever they went. Finally the colt found something for her to sign and was sent on his way, much to the relief of all present ponies.
“L-lord Third was right, heart attacks first thing in the morning are terrible indeed,” muttered Lyra.
The others just looked at her in confusion, wondering what the heck she was talking about.
“It’s a long story, don’t ask. Lets just get to Fancy Pants’ carriage and get moving, before they get too far ahead of us.”
As they all scrambled into the carriage, Lyra couldn’t help but feel like she was forgetting something...
***
Twilight panted heavily as she leaned against the wall. Looking around, she couldn’t find any sign of who she was hunting. Her target was too swift, and far too clever. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy had already been defeated, and the others were nowhere in sight for back up. She knew that it would take careful planning and a liberal use of magic to trap her foe.
Carefully, she crept forward, not wanting to possibly give away her location. It was then she saw it. Her prey had stopped and was taking a break just ahead. Twilight lowered her body and snuck forward like a jungle cat after its meal. As she drew in close she pounced on her, only to find it was a doll. Off to the side she heard a rustling, and two eyes staring at her from the darkness.
“Clever girl...”
Twilight felt another, much smaller body slam into her own and knock her aside. Her attacker and she rolled around on the ground, giggling all the way. Light blue wings fluttered as the victor sat upon Twilights belly.
“Yay, I got you Twilight!”
“Heh heh, you sure did, 'Tune,” Twilight said, rubbing the little filly’s head.
Rounding the corner, two larger alicorns approached the pair who were playing on the floor. They took one look at them and began to laugh.
“I haven’t seen you play like that since you were a filly, Twilight,” said the pink alicorn.
“You should have her during her studies,” the other replied, “She would hop around like a happy little bunny whenever she would learn something.”
“Oh, did she say ‘yes’ a bunch of times while she did it?”
Twilight could feel her face glowing red as Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance talked about their fond memories of her foalhood, much to her embarrassment. When she was young, she was definitely a ‘silly filly’.
“Is it time for tea already?” she asked, trying to change the subject.
“Yes it is, Twilight. Come on, the others are waiting.”
Twilight stood up to follow the princesses, only to find a small blue alicorn filly riding on her back. Cadance also noticed and laughed at her antics. After that, they all went off to the tea room, and Twilight’s friends greeted them as they entered. It seemed they were all doing better than they were earlier.
All of the them sat around a table, and began to drink their tea. Even Pinkie Pie couldn’t help but calm down in this atmosphere. The room was quiet save for the filly's failed attempts at adding her own sugar. Celestia was about to speak, but was cut off by a glowing blue light that suddenly appeared in the room. It pulsated in the air before slowly falling to the table. When the glowing stopped, everyone in attendance could see a rolled up scroll with a blue seal on it.
Cadance, and Twilight immediately recognized it as Shining Armor seal and lashed out their magic aura to pull the letter to themselves. The letter floated in the air, covered in a mixture of purple and pink aura. Celestia took a sip of her tea before clearing her throat quietly.
“Might I have my letter please?” she said evenly, not a trace of emotion in her voice.
You could practically see the sweat pouring off the two mares as they carefully lowered the scroll back to the table. While they were eager to see the contents of the letter, the tone of Celestia’s voice scared them. It was the voice she used to handle bossy foreign diplomats. It was a voice that was very polite, but let you know who was in charge.
Calmly, Celestia levitated the letter in front of her and unfurled it, breaking the seal. She read the contents of the letter and almost choked on her tea in shock. This reaction was not lost upon the members at the table, and all eyes were on her.
“Auntie, what’s wrong? Is Shining Armor okay?”
“...The human surrendered immediately.”
Everypony present all had some variant on the same “what?!” expression, showing varying degrees of disbelief.
“...Beg yer pardon?” said Applejack.
“Shining Armor says that they confronted the human and surrounded it from all sides, and it gave up instantly. Now they’re stuck with the problem of containing it, because no conventional prison can hold their kind. They’re taking it to Nameless for the moment.”
“Nameless?” Twilight repeated, “As in...”
“Yes, the site of your most recent battle. If you’ll recall, the chains that bound the Nameless One still rest there. I believe Shining Armor intends to use those to hold it.”
Celestia rolled up the parchment and floated it over to Twilight so that she could read it for herself. The princess sighed.
“Those chains will not move for him. He will need assistance from their crafter. I need to write another letter...”
While Twilight poured over the contents of the letter herself, Celestia conjured up supplies, and began to write the letter.
“S-so if the human is already caught, then...does that mean we don’t have to fight it?”
“Psh, I doubt that Fluttershy. Look at the other two humans; neither of them just gave up. I bet this is all some kind of trap. I say we go kick some human tail.”
“Ah don’t know ‘bout that Rainbow. Ah’m not a fan of humans either, but let’s not go puttin’ the cart before the pony. It might just not wanna fight.”
“A human that doesn’t want to fight? What’s next, a cockatrice that turns ponies into trees?”
“That sounds nice…”
“Now now, Rainbow Dash,” the princess interrupted, “While the presence of a human bothers me, if there is a chance for it, we should always try for a peaceful solution. We’ve never met a peaceful human before, that is true. But we’ve only ever met two of them. Maybe Second and First were just bad apples?”
“I guess you’re right Princess, but I still don’t have to like it. Do I?”
Celestia just smiled at Rainbow Dash warmly. She enjoyed that Rainbow Dash was comfortable enough around her to speak her mind. It was a rare for a pony of her standing, and she didn’t meet ponies like that nearly as often as she would have liked.
“Well, this is something that we can’t ignore,” said Twilight, “Even if the human did give up, we still need to find out why it is here.”
“You are correct, Twilight. We’re all going to have to make our way to Nameless. I will understand if you wish to stay here, Cadance.”
“No, I’ll go with you. Neptune will be fine with the foalsitter for a while.”
With the plans decided, everyone quickly finished their tea and made their way outside, to take the first chariot to Nameless.
***
It was boiling hot.
During their journey to...wherever it was they planned on holding him, they had had to pass through into this desert. It was an odd desert too, perfectly befitting the surrealness of his situation. At the border, you could see the landscape suddenly change. On one side, it was full of lush, green vegetation, and then as if there were some unseen barrier, all the life suddenly stopped, and everything on the other side of that line was sand and rocks.
This place worried him; it felt like they were leading him to hell. Looking around, Hayato could see the soldiers that were with him seemed to also be uncomfortable in this place.
Several times during the trip he requested something to drink, and to his surprise, Shining Armor made sure he got it. Despite the fact that he was being held captive by a military force, this wasn’t too bad.
After another four hours of forced marching, they eventually appeared at the edge of a massive crater. Not too far from the crater was a very official looking building, where he assumed he was going to be held. The crater itself was large enough to hold maybe three or four buildings of the same size. He wondered what had made it.
It was then that he noticed something else that was very odd; around the edge of the crater were a number of giant black chains, that looked like they had been sitting there for a while. They looked like they should have been used to haul ship anchors.
Shining Armor and the soldiers he met in town then began to lead him down into the center of the impact site.
Wait...Are they going to use the...No way! They can’t be serious.
In the centre, there were two more ponies waiting for them, both looking rather cheery compared to the royal guards, who were all exclusively either stoic or apprehensive around him. They were a brown earth pony stallion in a green tie and saddlebags, and a grey pegasus mare with a blonde mane, and...the eyes...
Wait a second. It was her.
He remembered her. Oh, did he ever remember her. She was the one that caused the crazy ass fans to flip their shit years ago. They had launched a crusade against everyone at Hasbro when her name was changed in the show. Hayato recalled being made to sort through the droves of angry letters that were sent to them. Which really confused him; what the hell was the marketing department supposed to have done about it?
God, I hated my year of internship.
He eyed the two of them closely. That mare’s presence here was a bad omen, he was sure of it. Shining Armor and the other stallion were now sharing a conversation, and he was removing a number of black, ‘C’ shaped devices from the saddlebags and handing them over to the captain. The captain picked them up with his magic and began distributing them to the ponies closest to him, who immediately galloped away back up to the edge of the crater.
The brown earth pony whispered something to his companion, eliciting a giggle from her. She soon flew off, and he followed after. The soldiers began to scatter about the crater, all moving to different positions, while Shining Armor turned his attention to Hayato.
“I must request that you remain still for this next part,” he said politely.
“For what?”
A number of the soldiers began to move back down into the crater again, using their new toys to pull along the giant chains behind him, much like unicorn magic, only not all of them were unicorns. Did that make those things artificial horns? But then why did the unicorns with real horns need them?
Then he suddenly realised why they were bringing the chains down.
“Oh, HELL no! You’re not seriously going to use THOSE to keep me, are you?!”
Shining Armor shrugged.
“We’ve got nothing stronger, so they’ll have to do for now. If they were good enough to hold the great destroyer, they’re good enough for you too.”
Not for the first time today, was he wondering how he got into this mess. If he managed to get out of this, he was never drinking again.
…Probably.
It did not take long for the chaining up to begin. The two ponies closest to him were discussing the best way to chain up someone of his build with another guard who seemed to be their supervisor or something. Apparently the last time these things were used, the target was much bigger.
They started by wrapping a chain around his torso and binding it to a series of blocks embedded in the ground. This was followed by wrapping another seven slightly smaller chains around his arms and forcing him to his knees, binding those to a set of blocks too. Below his knees, his legs were bound together. The worst of it was a collar that was placed around his neck with seven chains attached that were bound to the edge of the crater.
“Can I just say that this all seems very unnecessary?”
No-one seemed to listen to him though.
When the process was done, he was wrapped in a cocoon of metal so thick it could have survived a direct nuclear strike. Most of all, he was just really uncomfortable. And hot. Yeah, he was still in the desert, and it still sucked.
All of the soldiers left the crater one by one, save for a few unicorns that began casting strengthening spells on the chains and various other enhancements, with particular focus on the blocks attaching the chains to the ground, as if they were afraid he was going to tear them up with his Herculean strength.
How paranoid were these ponies? Second and First must have been real scary bastards if they made them believe humans warranted this kind of treatment.
Above him, several magical sigils appeared in the air briefly, and a triple layer dome barrier of purple energy appeared around the crater. He could just about see the thousands of soldiers forming a ring around the crater and staring inside at him, and the glare of the sun directly above him, but the barrier was too thick for him to make out anything else.
“Human.”
Hayato looked around him to find where Shining Armor’s voice was coming from. It echoed around the inside of the crater prison so he could hear it quite clearly, but the stallion himself appeared to no longer be in here with him. Most likely some kind of magic. Whatever.
“Those chains you wear are dwarf star alloy. Specially constructed for holding one of the most powerful monsters that ever menaced Equestria. It takes a number of magical enchantments and special equipment for our soldiers to even move those, and they’re practically unbreakable. Coupled with the vast array of magical defenses and several thousand prison guards keeping you under watch, and you will realize you have no escape. Stay cooperative, and you will not be harmed.”
“I still think you’re massively overreacting by the way!” Hayato called back.
On the other side of the barrier at the top of the crater, Shining Armor eyed him suspiciously. In truth, he knew he probably wouldn’t be able to touch the human, let alone hurt him should he actually try anything. He found himself unsure of what to do now. This entire event had not went the way he was expecting it to, like the universe was setting him up for some grand prank that he wasn’t fully seeing.
Turning around, he walked away back towards the administration building so he could send a letter to Princess Luna as soon as possible; she was not going to believe how smoothly this went.
And meanwhile, Hayato was stuck alone in the crater, chained up so much he could barely breathe. Though, it was at least cooler now. Silence fell, and he was left to his thoughts.
...Dwarf star alloy? Isn’t that...?
***
Fleetfoot soared above clouds as she followed the trail that had been left in the soldiers’ wake. While the Equestrian military was large and powerful, they were not exactly subtle when they were marching en masse. Trampled plant life, flattened under thousands of hooves, led the way to the soldiers’ destination.
The soldiers were already way ahead of her, as until half an hour ago she was being slowed down by her friends. As it turned out, the stallions they hired to pull the carriage were more than a little nervous about following the military, especially once they learned what they were escorting. So now while her friends were going back and getting a balloon to travel in, she was flying ahead to see where they were going.
Looking around, she didn’t recognize the area the trail had led her to. As a Wonderbolt, she had visited pretty much every military base in the country on one tour or another. It was odd though, they were heading to the middle of nowhere. It was just empty desert...
Where could they possibly be going? There isn’t anything here for miles…Unless they aren’t actually planning on keeping him anywhere...oh no.
In her mind, all of the pieces were falling into place. There was no prison in Equestria that could actually hold a being like Lord Third, so the only other option would be to destroy him somehow. If they were going to fight, they might as well choose a spot as far away from any civilians as possible. It was a pretty smart tactic on their part.
With this realization, Fleetfoot abandoned her casual pace and flew at top speed. She had to somehow prevent that from happening. They didn’t know how kind and merciful Third was to ponies, especially when they didn’t deserve it.
Racing through the skies, Fleetfoot didn’t stop for anything. Other aerial creatures had to actively move out of her way or run the risk of being knocked out of the sky. She was moving so fast she unintentionally left a trail of smoke in her wake, the signature move of the Wonderbolts.
As she drew close to the site of the hidden military base, a contingency of pegasi intercepted her in the air.
“Who are you and what are you doing here?” demanded bronze mare with a grey mane, “This is restricted airspace.”
“I’m Echo Fleetfoot. I’m with the Wonderbolts. Don’t pretend you don’t know me.”
The mare turned to her the other pegasus to confirm that it was actually her. After a few minutes she turned back to her.
“Terribly sorry ma’am, I didn’t recognize you without your uniform. I assume you know the situation?”
“I was near Hoofington when the military got involved, but I did not arrive until the soldiers had already left. I followed to lend my assistance, and see the human for myself.”
“You’ll need to speak with Captain Shining Armor about that. Allow us to escort you to the base.”
A short while later the three of them approached a large crater in the desert, covered by a large purple dome shield. Before she could see Third though, Fleetfoot was expected to see the captain, who was stationed in a smaller building on the edge of the crater itself.
The building accounted for pegasi, and there was a balcony entrance for messengers that needed to quickly see officers on the higher floors. Fleetfoot touched down on the balcony and entered through a pair of double doors.
Once inside she immediately felt much cooler, thanks to the air conditioners, which were on full blast. It was a stark and welcome contrast to the unbearable heat of the barren desert outside. While she would have loved to not have to go back out in the heat, she was a mare on a mission. Wasting no time, she made a beeline to Shining Armor’s office.
The door was already open, and the captain was inside scribbling something on some forms. Shining Armor looked up at her from his papers. Rather than go through the same questions again, Fleetfoot quickly gave him the same story she gave to scouts.
“Well, I am glad that you’re here to help. We’re currently waiting on Princesses Luna and Celestia to arrive. Until then, we’re holding the human here as best we can and hoping he stays passive.”
“Where exactly is ‘here’?” Fleetfoot asked, “I’ve never seen this place before.”
“Oh, that’s right; your team were out of action before you saw the ending of the fighting, weren’t you? Well, allow me to fill you in then. This right here is Nameless. That’s the crater, not this building. This was where we finally beat the Nameless One. We chained him down and the Elements of Harmony sealed him right where that crater is now. Stuck him back in the mirror world, where he belongs.”
“How did you manage to actually chain it down? That thing was a flying mass of destruction.”
“We were able to successfully corral it away from the city, and headed deep into the jungle. That was where we surrounded it. The entire Equestrian military, assaulting it from every direction and keeping it distracted, bought just enough time for Princess Luna, who then dropped a comet on it. A big one.”
Fleetfoot did a double take.
“She what?!”
“I probably wouldn’t have believed it either, if I hadn’t seen it myself. Though I am surprised this is the first you’ve heard of this. It was pretty major news six months ago.”
“I...”
A look of disbelief was written across Fleetfoot’s face. Yes, she knew how powerful the princesses were, but that was just surprising to hear. Who drops a comet on somepony? Who actually does that?
“A comet?! The princess can just drop a comet out of the sky at anytime?!”
“Yes and no. According to her it would take a great deal of time and power for her to pull one to the planet. It’d be an extremely exhausting affair. We were lucky in that it was the centennial of the Shadowmare comet’s passing. A lot of scholars were sad to see it go. Also there are unfortunate side effects to just dropping a celestial object on something. You’ve already seen them.”
“What side effects? I didn’t notice anything.”
“Like I said, we led the Nameless One to a jungle. Notice how we are currently in a desert?”
The realization elicited a gasp from Fleetfoot. Shining Armor just shrugged.
“Apparently there were latent magics in that hunk of rock, that reacted with the blood of the Nameless One and caused all the vegetation for miles to die off. Arcane scientists spent a while purging the magical toxins from the land. They still hope to one day fully reverse the damage that was done, but we’re probably not going to see it in our lifetimes.”
Fleetfoot was floored.
“Is this really the first time anypony’s told you this? Coma or not, I’d have thought somepony would have informed you of what happened while you were out.”
“I...I was out for longer than most of the ‘bolts. It was two months for me. I was hit pretty hard at Fillydelphia and took longer to recover. Even after I woke up I was kept in there for a bit. I heard that the Nameless One was stopped, and that some jungle area was destroyed, but...Nopony told me anything about a comet! Or that it poisoned the whole jungle and made it a desert! I thought I didn’t recognise this place coming here, but I didn’t think for a second that this could have been it!”
Shining Armor gave her a sympathetic smile.
“Hard to take in, I know. Now about this human?”
Fleetfoot stood to attention and got serious again.
“Yes?”
“Well, we restrained the Third in the center of the crater itself. He’s being held using dwarf star alloy chains, the same kind we used against him, not to mention a variety of defensive spells, including my own shield which you may have noticed, and we’ve got soldiers all around the rim keeping constant watch. Right now, this place is more secure than Canterlot Castle.
“If you want to see him yourself or speak to him for whatever reason, we’ll lower a section of the shield around the edges and you can head inside, but we’ll have to also send in additional security, for your own protection of course, and even with all the precautions we’ve taken, there’s no guarantee of safety, I hope you understand?”
She nodded.
“Really, it’s going to be awkward for all involved, but the princesses will arrive soon, most likely along with my sister and her friends, including your comrade Rainbow Dash probably. They’ll all want to speak to the human too. You’d probably be better off waiting until they arrive and going in with them.”
Fleetfoot had mixed feelings about this. It was clear that they were not intending to just blindly attack Lord Third, or try to execute him just yet, so that was one good thing. But the amount of security placed on him was intense, and would make mounting a rescue operation or even just passing information to him at best difficult, and at worst downright impossible.
“Well be that as it may, captain, I think I’d rather see him as soon as possible, if that’s not a problem?”
“As long as you do not aggravate him, then no; you should be fine. So far he has been strangely nonviolent. Perhaps you might be able to gather some information from him. Just go to the guards at the perimeter whenever you’re ready and tell them that I gave you the all clear. They’ll open the shield for you.”
With a quick ‘thank you’, Fleetfoot left the building. Now that she knew what was going on, she had to meet up with the others. They were quickly running out of time.
***
Luna watched from her tent as her troops marched through the streets of Las Pegasus. The city of lights was now the subject of an intense search, hoping to find the human. She had decided to make this the first stop on their hunt because of the nature of Second and First, both of them being carefree and playful creatures by nature, and annoyingly so.
In a lot of ways the two of them reminded her of Discord. Although their methods were vastly different, they all seemed to cause trouble for the simple desire to have fun. Luna couldn’t help but think of how the Second sunk Celestia's yacht. How he had managed to pull that off with only a sponge she would never know.
If he was anything like the last two, it would only be natural for the human to come to Las Pegasus. The city was so full of entertainment and games and pretty lights that would capture their attention. Granted, Second hadn’t spent any significant amount of time here, but that was towards the end of his grief-fueled rampage, so she supposed those were unusual circumstances.
It would a logical location stop for the human though. Although she had to admit that she herself felt close to the city. How could she not enjoy a city that was more active at night than the day? It was like ponies had made a city just to honor her. It was touching.
Unfortunately, they had been here for an hour already and the search was turning up nothing. If the human was here, it was hiding very well.
Looking about, there was nothing she could really do. The pegasi air patrols had the sky covered and the unicorns and earth ponies were beating the streets and using a very effective method of scanning and searching the city. If she were to join in, she feared that she would just complicate things.
While there were no signs of humans, they made a substantial amount of drug related arrests, which was good of course, but just not what they were hoping for. She was doing her best to keep herself entertained with a book while they all repeatedly failed, but it wasn’t working for her.
She was beginning to feel the itch.
Looking up from her book, Luna's eyes raced about. Her tent was set up in the middle of the Las Pegasus strip, so that it would be easy for her officers to locate her in the event they made a discovery.
When she found that she was staring at one building in particular, which the tent opening was directly facing, she shoved her head back into the book. Failing to read a single paragraph over the course of ten minutes, she peeked back out over the top of it and continued to stare.
It wouldn’t hurt to go in right? Just for a little bit...
After making sure the coast was clear, Luna quickly darted across the street and through the doors of the Rising Moon Casino. Immediately, her senses were assaulted with just pure life. All around her were ponies playing cards and sitting at slot machines. There was a buzz in the air you just couldn’t find anywhere else in Equestria.
Standing there, Luna soaked in the atmosphere. She could stand there for hours and not move a muscle. The feeling was addictive. However, she knew that if she stayed near the door there was a better chance for her to be spotted by her guards, and that would be bad.
Casting a spell that let her move about unnoticed, Luna quickly made her way past most of the regular gamblers and bolted for the VIP section. Due to her occasional visits to the casino, she had been warranted access. So what if her occasional visits tallied up to roughly four times a week? That was just a statistic. Yeah.
Dropping the spell when she reached the barrier, Luna waved to the bouncer of the area. He greeted her just like he would any other guest; he knew better than to treat her like royalty when she was here to relax. It was truly remarkable that the scar was still visible after all this time.
After being let through the barrier, Luna felt even more at ease. Everypony in here were the same faces she had seen many times before. At this point it felt like a secret club, that got together every so often to lose their money. In fact, Vinyl Scratch seemed to have done just that when Luna walked in.
“It seems that thou hast lost thy funds,” Luna said smugly, using the archaisms intentionally in this instance.
Vinyl’s ears twitched and she let out a loud sigh. Her luck was just not with her today.
“Come on, don’t make me do it, please...” she begged.
“A bet is a bet, dear Vinyl.”
“Oh, fine then,” she said irritably, “Ahem. We are so happy to see thou, mistress of the night. How doth you do?”
While Luna made a valiant attempt to not laugh as Vinyl struggled with using the royal ‘we’. She ultimately dissolved into a fit of giggles. All Vinyl did was roll her eyes and vowed once again to never ever have a drinking contest with a monster like Luna. Her liver ached just thinking about that much alcohol.
“So what brings you here anyways? I thought your sister forbade you from coming here again?”
“My sister does not order what I do, she merely suggested that I not spend much time here...strongly.”
“Clearly we must be talking about two different ponies, because I remember a lot of yelling and you making weak excuses.”
Luna thought back to the ugly event that happened roughly six months ago, in which Celestia grew tired of her so called ‘gambling problem’.
“HOW MUCH DID YOU SAY!?” Celestia yelled, abandoning all presence of serenity.
“Calm, sister! ‘Tis not that much...” Luna said defensively.
“HOW IS TWENTY MILLION BITS ‘not that much’? Please, I would love to know!”
“Thou dost not understand, sister! ‘Tis all part of the plan. We put out a little money as bait, and then eventually we reel in a big fish. ‘Tis foolproof!”
“Wrong, it was made by a fool, there is a difference. Twenty million bits Luna, Twenty. Million. Bits.”
“We shall admit the plan might have become a tad more...complex, but we have it under control. Next round, the fish is ours!” Luna exclaimed excitedly.
“STOP USING FISH METAPHORS! I am going to make it very clear, you are to never set foot inside any casino again, understand?” Celestia ordered.
“Thou can’t simply....” Luna began.
“I will not only ban your access to the treasury, but I will share your foalhood drawings with the rest of Equestria if you step a hoof in one again. And as a creation of one of the royal sisters, you can be sure copies would be in every art gallery in the country in days!”
“Thou wouldn’t!”
“Oh yes, we would!” Celestia said with deadly seriousness.
She shook her head.
“I mean I! Great, now you’ve got me doing it!”
Luna shook her head, deciding it was not best to dwell on such unpleasantries from the past, even if it was only months ago. Once her sister saw the money she was going to rake in today, she would not only forgive her, but apologize for before. There was no way this could go wrong. After all, it was foolproof.
She made her way to the teller who switched out a good portion of bits for casino chips. She could see that the teller was reluctant to do so, but you didn’t tell your princess how to spend her own money. It didn’t take her long to find her favorite table and sit down.
Surrounded by her fellow players and the dealer pulling out a fresh deck of cards, Luna was raring to go. Her game? Blackjack. Her odds? Fantastic. The chips were hot and her blood was pumping. Then just above her head, a glowing light appeared.
Why now? Is this some kind of sick joke?
Luna knew exactly what the light was. She was being sent a message from Shining Armor. Her constant communications with him over the years made her familiar with his transport spell. A letter dropped out of the air and rolled to her.
For a moment she contemplated ignoring it, just for a few rounds, but her sense of duty won out in the end and she stepped away from the table. Once away from any prying eyes, Luna unfurled the letter and began to read.
The contents of the letter surprised her. No matter how many times she read over it, it simply didn’t make sense. Her transition from shock to acceptance, while not a graceful as her sister’s, was much quicker.
How is this possible? Why would the human just give itself up like that, and what was it doing in a town like Hoofington? I do not like the feel of this. Creatures of that strength don’t just let themselves get imprisoned. I should know...
No! That was not me. Not thinking about it.
Although that didn’t stop her from still thinking about it sometimes. It was a pretty major event in her life, after all. One could move on, but it seemed you were never truly free of your past.
I’m getting needlessly melancholy again. I’ve got business to attend to!
Now was no time to be gambling, or dwelling on other unrelated trivialities. She shoved the stack of chips over to Vinyl with her magic and said goodbye. There was no time for the teller to retrieve all the money either. She had to leave right away.
Not even wasting time with walking through the throngs of ponies downstairs, Luna simply teleported to her tent with the letter. She magically amplified her voice to be heard throughout the city, and began calling back all the troops to meet her outside of town.
The soldiers were momentarily confused, but they dutifully obeyed. She watched as her higher officers led the way out of town, where she met them to go over the details of what she had been told. They too had the same reaction. To them, humans could only be stopped two ways, and surrender wasn’t either of them. A buzz of curiosity could be heard, as the soldiers murmured to each other.
Fifteen minutes later, they were moving out of Las Pegasus and heading towards Nameless. She just hoped everything continued to go as smoothly as Shining Armor was claiming it was.
If things went sour, she wouldn’t have a comet to use this time...
***
Fleetfoot landed on a particularly large set of dark clouds. They were specifically chosen to designate where they would be meeting up, once she confirmed Lord Third’s status. In the distance she could see a dark green balloon approaching.
Rolling around on the clouds a bit she groaned. Hot air balloon travel was painfully slow and she was contemplating just flying up to meet them. But on the other hoof, she had been doing some serious endurance flying today, and the cloud was pretty soft. It would probably take them awhile to reach her, so shutting her eyes for a minute wouldn’t hurt...
“Seriously? She’s asleep? That is one lazy mare,” a voice said.
“Oh don’t be so gruff, Abstract. She has done a lot of flying today; she’s probably tired.”
“Well, it’s time for her to wake up.”
A moment later, her eyes and wings snapped open as she was suddenly falling through the sky. Thank Celestia for pegasus instincts. She was roughly seventy feet in the air by the time she was finally righted and flying properly.
She flew a few circles to clear the cobwebs and flew back up to the cloud, which now had a gaudy green balloon beside it. She soon joined her friends again, who had vacated the balloon and were actually standing on the cloud itself. Abstract Theory had likely cast a cloud walking spell on them all. It was a pretty amazing, and a little bit scary, how good he was with complex magic.
“You know, you can just tell me that you love me outright, instead of dropping me off clouds all the time.”
“Yes, that is exactly what I was going for with that,” he replied with a stoic face and heavy sarcasm, “Thank Celestia you are so perceptive.”
“Lovely to see you awake dear,” Fancy Pants interrupted, “but we would really like to hear the condition of Lord Third.”
“I...but...oh, whatever! Well, they took him to this place, Nameless-”
“NAMELESS!? Are you bucking kidding me?!” Lyra exclaimed.
“If you guys are going to keep interrupting I am not going to tell you,” she told them flatly.
“Sorry...”
After that, she explained in full what had befallen the human, including the excessive security measures taken to hold him. They all looked downtrodden as they learned of the true scale of their predicament. The situation was pretty bleak, and they weren’t sure what they could do. The amount of defenses that Fleetfoot described were monumental, all of it had never been done before to a single being.
“Hey guys, why the long faces?” said Lyra, “All’s not lost!”
The others looked to her.
“Well, think about it. While Lord Third is currently being held captive, he is there by choice. I am sure he is just placating them, and being kind. Not to mention, we are all ponies of importance. We can use our positions to assure that Lord Third is treated fairly, from the shadows of course.”
“You have a very good point, Lyra,” Abstract Theory agreed, “As I suggested before, I can offer my services to Celestia once again. I believe she would readily accept somepony with my magical prowess. That would get me her ear at least. It would also allow me to learn their intents.”
“Well, if they plan on holding him for an extended period of time, that situation won’t work out. I could offer to assist in construction a supermax prison for him through my contacts and donations. But the design will end up making it very comfortable location for the Lord while we fix things.”
“Um, I could use convince some of my contacts at Canterlot Palace to provide good food for him?” Bon Bon offered, “I could say it is in the interest of keeping him happy and nonviolent? I hate to use their fear against them, but it could help.”
“Good thinking!” said Lyra, “And I’m good friends with Twilight Sparkle and a few of the other bearers of Harmony. I still meet her every month for lunch! I might be able to talk her into helping out to some degree. Fancy Pants is familiar with Rarity too, I think.”
“Well what should I do then?” asked Fleetfoot.
“You have the most important job of us all right now. We need you to do your best flying and get back to Lord Third before anypony else arrives. Gain access to him, and ask that he not reveal the Brotherhood in any way. That he should lie to them if necessary. Last thing we need is to get outed before we can help him.”
“I can do that, but I will have guards with me ‘for my protection’. I’ll have to be extra careful about how I do this...But at least I get to make use of those acting classes I took!”
“Dear Luna, no!” exclaimed Abstract in pure horror.
“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad,” huffed Fleetfoot.
By this point the others were all lost. They looked at Abstract expectantly. He groaned, not really wanting to relay his story.
“Lets start this off by saying I lost a bet to her,” he explained, “My punishment was watching her act in the Rocky Horror Pony Show. All forty seven times...”
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“You weren’t there Lyra, you wouldn’t understand. Athletes, just like singers, are usually terrible actors. This is doubly so for her.”
Before the others could find out more, Fleetfoot took that moment to head off on her mission. Time was of the essence after all. That and there were just some things her friends didn’t need to know about her, though they would likely get at least some it out of Abstract anyway.
“Now that we have that squared away,” Lyra continued, “I think we should head off to begin preparations. Now the only thing left is...wait. Where is the kappa?”
Everypony in front of her shrugged. The human’s pet had been the last thing on their minds lately.
“Last I saw the thing, it was at my...oh no.”
***
Captain was annoyed. The master had left the house and left him behind with the loud four legs. The stupid ponies were freaking out when they learned the master had left the house. The master clearly had the right idea, as these ponies were annoying.
Even so, they were fun to scare. The master didn’t want him to scare them. But the master wasn’t in the house right now, was he? Before he could really get started, all the ponies left, leaving him alone. Stupid ponies, making him bored.
Getting off the couch, Captain walked up to a lovely looking vase. It looked really important. It would be a shame if something happened to it. Using a single finger he pushed the vase over and watched it shatter against the ground. Even with the loud crash, the ponies didn’t come back.
Then he found particularly nice piece of furniture, and with a loud rip, he devastated every inch of its surface. Still nothing. Well if that wouldn’t get their attention, what would?
A slow smile spread across the kappa’s face. This single thought grew in his mind. Surely the master wouldn’t be too upset with him. Clearly he no longer wished to be here, and he never said that he couldn’t play with the house a bit.
And so, Captain set off to explore and search for the most expensive things he could find in the house, so he could destroy them.
END.
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Doctor who
Third is taking all of this in stride. Don't even care...except for that annoying crossed eyed pegasus.
Why does 10,000 words feel so damn short???
Bravo!
I like this story more than 'Human'. Sad to say i unfaved it.
I have been playing the waiting game with this fic for, sooooooo loooooong.
and I imagen he will accidentally brake the shackles, and try to hide it so he doesn't scare anypony
.
I feel relieved that it still updates, relativity slow, but sure to update.
Luna gamer had to happen
655964 I shall make sure my human is bald.
665850 Is it bad that I still want to tie Second to a dentists chair and ask him, "Is it safe?"
Then turn on the drill...
Bwuh?! Murder you in the street for a late delivery?! We would never do such a thing! After all it'd make it so the story would be left unfinished. On another completely unrelated note, did you know how incredibly resilient the human body is?
1047763
Doctor Who? Never heard of him
1047824
Wait till you see what happens to him later.
1047829
I blame society.
1047832
Thank you.
1047932
Which story?
1047979
I try and get them out as fast as I can. The last month has been very hectic and all I can promise is that I will try and get them out quickly.
1048126
There will be no anal dining in this chapter. As for mythical creatures, we shall see if more will appear.
1048139
Would you look at the time, I seem to have left my baby on fire. Bye.
1048153
Second isn't supposed to be the sole source of comedy, and First isn't meant to be funny at all. That's why there are other characters.
1048167
If you make the next chapter so awesome, that i feel its short, just like this chapter or all the chapters before.
I could wait for a year.
I'm not kidding.
"he probably wouldn’t be able touch the human"
think you missed a "to"
"If things went sour, she wouldn’t have a comet use this time..."
Ditto.
Good to see another fantastic chapter up!
If they treated me this way for doing absolutely nothing id be killing all these fuckers. Who would just let this happen to him?I dont like this main character, way to much of a pushover.
AWESOME chapter how is Third going to get out of this mess? Will Lyra still have house by the time she get's home?
1048270
Thank you for informing me about the errors, I will get on them right away.
1048274
The thing is, you know about his powers, he doesn't He thinks he is just a normal human, what can he do against entire mobs and armies who wield magic?
Yay an update *reads* Hmm.. wasn't expecting things to go that way. Looking forward to the big escape. Keep up the good work.
Fucking Gary man. It's all Gary's fault, what an asshat.
What part did Fleetfoot play in Rocky Horror Pony Show?
It's time for Animaniacs
And we're zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You'll laugh 'til you collapse
We're Animaniacs!
Come join the Warner Brothers
And the Warner Sister, Dot
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot.
They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught
But we break loose and then vamoose
And now you know the plot!
We're Animaniacs!
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.
Wakko packs away the snacks
While Bill Clinton plays the sax.
(or We've got wisecracks by the stacks.)
(or We pay tons of income tax.)
We're Animaniacs!
Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.
(or Meet Ralph and Dr Scratchansniff; say hi to Hello Nurse.)
Goodfeathers flock together; Slappy whacks 'em with her purse.
Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.
The writers flipped; we have no script
Why bother to rehearse?
Cast : We're Animaniacs!
We have pay-or-play contracts.
We're zany to the max
There's baloney in our slacks.
We're Animanie,
Totally insaney
(alternate endings)
Here's the show's namey
Pinky and The Brainy
Come back, Shaney
The rain in Spainy
Cockamamie
Shirley MacLainey
How urbaney
Citizen Kaney
Andromeda Strainy
Where's Lon Chaney?
Eisenhower Mamie
Miss Cellany
Chicken Chow Meiny
Dana Delaney
No pain, no gainy
Hydroplaney
Money down the drainy
Penny Laney
Ehhh...
Tarzan and Janey
Novocainey
Here's the Flamey
Meet Mark Twainy
Presidential campaigny
Hunchback of Notre Damey
Bowling laney
Bangor, Mainey
Frasier Craney
Mister Haney
Quiche lorrainey
Lake Champlainy
High octaney
Public domainy
Cast : Animaniacs!
Those are the facts.
FOR THE RANDOMNESS!!!!!!
1048167 You have roast baby and you didn't tell us?! Come on and share, you greedy bastard!
Oh god, I love this fic so much. Yeah, it was a long wait for chapter 3, but damn, it was worth it.
Love that spongebob reference. here, take these.
1048406
I know right?
1048527
Dr. Frank-N-Furter. She's a sweet transvestite, from Sensual Trotsylvania.
1048543
Thank...you?
1048569
t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQEuIM8bIo86S3cfDIbs1Txc68WcKjUoS8oqJM0E6h_fwtvwxzmG1QSr1EKsQ
1048591
Thank you and sorry for the delay.
1048594
Oh sweet, I can use this to fix my fabulous mustache~
1048634 anytime, randomness is for everyone!
EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i fakkin lurrrve thieeeessss storeeeeeeeyyyyyyy!!!!!!!
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Wing+Boner+is+now+Canon+.+Steroids+pony+has+small+wings_849c5c_3497255.jpg
When's the next chapter coming?
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2011/9/8/77edc322-e4f9-4565-96ab-5e65514b0b43.jpg
finally updated. eagerly awaiting the next chapter. noticed a few errors but all in all, a good chapter. keep them coming.
Can't wait!!, for another chapters
1048993
Four months
1049042
What shenanigans?
1049044
Please point out the errors and I will fix them.
"Still not as bad as Florida."
Goddamnit! Why does everyone hate Florida!
1048167 The one in which Lord First and Second are in.
I do want to say three things. One is while it was kinda funny, the Las Pegasus bit felt nailed on. I honestly don't care about Luna's gambling probably when you have a situation like Hayato's going on.
Second (lol) is I hope some pony butt gets whooped, at least to some degree. Through their paranoia the ponies have treated what is an insanely powerful and exceedingly rare being who can easily be described as physical gods, like shit. Nothing says "We are peaceful and want to be friends" like tying them up after them being chased all over the place.
Lastly:
“Ahem, since you are being so cooperative, I am willing to treat you fairly. If you agree to come along without a fight, I will not restrain you with cuffs or magic. Deal?”
Shining Armor broke his damn word in the most excessive and heavy-hooved manner possible. Hayato needs to grow some balls and kick some ass.
1047829
Holy crap! That was 10k words?!
is the chapter name a reference to Fallout 3?
That kappa's a creeper.
I feel bad for Lyra's house.
And asking Hayato not to mention them without mentioning them with awful acting skills? This will end well.
1049569
But yeah, I am going to enjoy writing that scene.
Shit went down in Florida. Shit that will haunt him for the rest of his life.
1049797
You have to think that he doesn't know about any of his powers. He is surrounded by an entire army, he doesn't know that he holds more power than their entire army. Without giving any spoilers I will say there will be plenty of fighting in the story, but only when it works. I have big things planned for the future chapters of this story.
1050518
Nope....although I am currently playing FO3....hmmmm Heeeeeres Gary!
1050556
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssBOOM
1050599
Was there ever any doubt?
Those chains, I'm pretty sure there from a Doctor Who episode, but I forget which one.
1051735 True, but he's at least got to suspect it from what he's seen so far. Plus he needs to point out to SA he broke his words.
1049108 ^o^ just calling them
there going to happen
Hory Shet.... Abstract looks so fucking gay.... AHAHAHAH!
1051735 Was he tickled strangely by a koala? Or wait, was that Australia?
Kappas......
My favorite side narrative is the Captain' s. He's like the squirrel from Ice Age, but he kicks ass like Angel. These two should fight.
Besides, just started playing Minecraft, and I loved the Creeper reference.
Good luck with life, Draven.
1052083
It's the one about the alien family which attacks a pre-first-world-war british village.
The Doctor punishes them all in different ways; one being emprisonemnt by dwarf star chains.
1051735
The way Hayato reacted to knowing
the chains were from a dwarf star, I bet he is a Doctor Who fan.
You already inserted Whooves, so maybe he didn't know about the fan's interpretation of the sand watch.
Ugh can't wait for more this story's is so great. the scene with captain at the end was awesome.