• Published 11th Aug 2016
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You Too Will Deteriorate - cleverpun



She looked just like Princess Celestia, except marred and broken. Her ceremonial barding had rusted slightly. Black streaks ran through her mane. Worst was the scar across her chest. The tarnished Celestia smiled at Luna. "H-hello, monster."

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2. Tempest Tossed Thee Here Ashore

Celestia took a sip of tea. Her doppelganger sat across from her. The fine chairs and table of the drawing room had just been cleaned yesterday, in preparation for a diplomatic function next week. Now smears of dried dirt marred the red cushions and white marble.

“Is the tea not to your liking?” Celestia asked. She maintained eye contact, as much as was polite.

“Oh it’s f-f-fine,” the other Celestia said. “I’m j-just not in the mood for tea right noww.”

Celestia took another sip of tea. In front of any other diplomat or guest, taking two sips of tea so close together would be a sign of weakness. It would look like a declaration that she had nothing to say, that she was at a loss for words. It would be a sign that the other party could go for the throat, press their advantage and negotiate a stronger position for themselves.

They would be right, of course. Celestia had tried and failed to think of something else to do with her hooves and mouth. Was it wrong to lower her guard to herself? The doppelganger hadn’t taken advantage of the perceived weakness, at any rate. It just sat there, wearing the same neutral, patient smile she had worn so many times herself.

“Would you like a crumpet?” Celestia asked.

“N-n-no, thank you.”

The stutter bothered Celestia more than any other detail. The appearance, the rust and discoloration and dirt, none of that seemed out of place. The stutter, however, made her uncomfortable. It sounded like such a perversion of her voice.

“Perhaps a biscuit or some teacakes?” she offered. Would it be rude to ask about it? Could anything be rude, when a mockery of yourself sat across the table from you? It had sat calmly, never changing its expression, responding politely to anything she said. She couldn’t quite summon the force of will to abandon her manners.

“Thank you, b-b-but I am fine.”

“Perhaps you would prefer some black pudding?”

The other Celestia laughed. “I am glad you have n-n-not lost your sense of humorrr, then.”

“I wasn’t joking. We keep it around for the carnivorous diplomats, you know. But perhaps something like you would prefer it to teacake.”

The other Celestia laughed again. It sounded just like her own laugh. No stutter or tonal shifts. It sounded exactly like her, and that only made it that much more disturbing.

“Tell me, Celes-s-stia, where is your sssister?”

“She is resting, as she often does during this hour.”

“You did not feel the n-need to wake her?”

“I don’t think this is a situation that requires her attention,” Celestia said.

“Oh, but I a-a-actually came here to see her. No offense to your c-c-company, of course.”

“None taken. But I have to ask what business you have with her.”

The other Celestia leaned forward. “Tell me, j-j-just how much do you know about your sister?”

“More than I would like to, and not as much as I should.”

The other Celestia frowned a little at that. “I had not expected it to b-b-be very forthcoming.”

The door to the study creaked open.

“Sister?”

Both Celestias turned to the door simultaneously. “Luna” stood in the doorway. Her expression mirrored Celestia’s when she had first seen the doppelganger.

The other Celestia’s smile widened. It stretched and warped and distorted at the sight of Princess Nightmare Moon.

“L-l-look at you, monster. Wearing a cloak of l-l-lies, pretending to be normal. But I kn-kn-knew I was in the right place. I could smell your s-s-stench the moment I arrived. And now h-here you are.” The other Celestia didn’t rise from its chair. Its body remained neutral. Only the smile betrayed any shift in its emotions. “I would say I am glad to see you, but that w-w-wouldn’t be quite accurate.”

Luna said nothing. She visibly groped for words, her mouth moving without sound, her eyes darting across the doppelganger’s body. “It can’t be.”

The other Celestia restrained her smile. Its expression didn’t quite return to polite neutrality; a shimmer of malice and glee poked through its genteel facade. It gripped its chestplate in its magic and moved it to the side, slowly, painfully slowly.

Luna recoiled. “It can’t be.” A long, jagged scar snaked across the other Celestia’s chest.

“Oh, but i-it iss,” the other Celestia whispered. It traced the scar with a hoof. “That’s the spot where you t-t-tore out my heart.”

It let the chestpiece fall back into place, then turned back to Celestia. “Thank you f-f-for the tea, but I will be t-taking my sister back home now.”