The body was disposed of, that rose mare was but a stain at the bottom of one of Canterlot’s gleaming spires.
And now his plans were coming to a head.
All in all, Serpens, or Broad Sword as most knew him as of late, was extremely pleased. In fact his co-conspirators had never witnessed him in such a good mood.
All eleven conspirators stationed in Canterlot, including Broad Sword, were gathered together in a circle at their designated meeting spot, an abandoned warehouse in the lowest recesses of Canterlot. They were completely alone aside from the occasional scampering rodent living out their meager existence.
“Gentlecolts,” Broad Sword began. “We are all here under a common cause, following the same ideal. To protect Equestria from the insects that would so quickly see our great nation of harmony reduced to livestock, food.”
“Not while we still live!” one of them shouted.
Murmurs of agreement spread throughout the group, all voicing their disdain for changelings as a race.
‘Idiots,’ the disguised changeling thought to himself with great amusement. ‘If only they knew… Though I have to wonder, which of us here is the true monster? The infiltrator, or these ponies before me. It will be up to history to decide in the end, as with all things.’
Broad Sword stamped his hoof into the ground to bring the group back into order.
It worked, and all of the ponies present stopped their chatter and looked at what appeared to be their superior officer with respect and admiration. Many of them had served under the real Broad Sword for years; the Commander had served in his position far longer than Shining Armor had been in the guard at all, and it was only his raw ability that saw him rise through the ranks above Broad Sword so quickly. But of course the true Broad Sword never complained, he only ever did his duty.
‘Ever the noble heart the Commander is…’ the changeling mused as he thought of the imprisoned Pegasus. ‘Though a bit cold and gruff on the outside, always keeping to himself, too bad that little quirk made him so easy to impersonate.’
“Fear no longer my brothers and sisters in arms, for tomorrow we will strike a devastating blow to the enemy, to show them that we are not prey to be hunted.” Broad Sword nodded at a unicorn stallion, who lit his horn with a bright white glow bringing forth a holographic projection of none other than Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Once the projection was complete Broad Sword continued, “This is the current face of the enemy. ‘Princess’ Twilight Sparkle. This… thing has been infiltrating Equestria for many years now. Moseying her way into Captain Armor’s family and no doubt inflicting all sorts of mental manipulation like we saw at the wedding, which is why the Captain can’t be trusted, not until he is truly freed from all outside control. But of course the monster didn’t stop there, oh no she wriggled her way into the highest echelons of our society, Princess Celestia herself! Becoming her student, being in such close proximity to her… do you really believe our beloved princess would have allowed that travesty of a wedding to ever happen if her mind was her own? No, I say. It’s a horrifying truth to be sure, but our princess is also compromised. Now she has even taken possession of the Element of Magic, defiling it with her hole-ridden hooves! The rest of the elements too haven fallen into her trap.”
The conspirators, of course not knowing how the Elements of Harmony actually worked, drank up his speech with the glee of school children. As Broad Sword spoke, their enthusiasm for their misguided ‘cause’ continued to rise further and further still.
“So you see fillies and gentlecolts, all of our leaders, all of our heroes have fallen victim to the greatest threat in our history since Discord himself! As such it falls to us to protect the nation we have sworn our lives to, now… are you all with me?”
Cheers spread throughout the crowd, stamping of hooves going along in collaboration. Broad Sword allowed himself a smirk as all fell into place, just as he had planned it.
“You certainly inspire your troops, Serpens,” his Queen spoke to him.
“I do my best, as I said, you have nothing to worry about. You will have Twilight Sparkle’s head, which should please Crudelis hmm?”
“Indeed.”
“What’s the plan sir?” one of the guards asked.
With another nod to the unicorn stallion the projection of Twilight changed to that of a segment of the castle.
“This hallway is open to a courtyard, as you can all see. As a commander of the Solar Guard I have all in depth knowledge of tomorrow’s proceedings, or rather the security surrounding it. Five of you shall be stationed along the hallways itself, going about your usual guard routine, the other five will hide in the courtyards bushes, waiting to pounce. Princess Twilight Sparkle and her entourage will pass through this corridor going to the meeting hall, as they pass you ambush them, and kill all changelings present. I sadly will not take part in this assault, I will be standing at the Princess’ side as Captain Armor seems to have taken leave for tomorrow. Once the Princess and her drones are dead, retreat from Canterlot and to our Everfree hideout, but do not be followed. We cannot reveal our base of operations. Any questions?”
“What of any fellow guards escorting Princess Twilight, they will try to stop us most certainly.”
Broad Sword gave a fake sigh of regret. “Sadly we cannot allow them to interfere, lethal force is authorised.”
All those gathered shared uneasy looks among each other, none liking the idea of fighting other guards.
“I know this won’t be easy,” Broad Sword continued. “But sacrifices must be made, we all swore to give our lives for Equestria, and they will be fulfilling that oath. They will be honoured for that sacrifice when victory is ours. May Faust forgive us for what we must do.”
The ponies still seemed uneasy, but they were already set on course, and wouldn’t be dissuaded now.
“I believe that is everything, you are all dismissed.”
In a uniform manner all the ponies saluted, before briskly departing the rusting old building.
For Infiltrator Serpens victory was so close.
The time to strike was now.
The sound of an alarm clock began blaring out, the disruptive and incredibly annoying sound reaching Twilight Sparkle’s ears. With a groan she reached out with her magic and silenced the infernal device, opening her eyes slowly.
Twilight was in the room she used before Celestia gave her the old observatory, the very same room where she had discovered the truth about herself. That very mirror still stood against the far wall, and Twilight couldn’t help but glance at her reflection momentarily.
Twilight sighed as she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes with a black hoof. “Spike?” she called out.
Snoring could be heard from a blanket filled basket next to the bed, the sound drawing Twilight’s eyes to the lump.
“Rarity… is that for me?” Spike mumbled in his sleep, causing Twilight to roll her eyes.
“Rarity, I had always hoped you felt that wa-"
“SPIKE!” Twilight shouted while tearing away the blankets surrounding the wishful thinking/dreaming dragon.
“WHA!” Spike shouted as he flew into the air with his covers, only to fall out and onto the hard floor with a thud.
“Time to wake up Casanova, we’ve got a big day ahead!”
“Aww Twilight, I was having the most wonderful dream…”
“So I heard, come on and get ready.”
Reluctantly the young drake did as he was told, neatly placing his blankets back into his basket as his senses slowly woke up one by one. Twilight rid herself of her bedhead and went about gathering up her notes and checklists for the day, humming all the while.
“Well you seem in a particularly fine mood,” Spike noted.
“Yeah! What is there to not to be in a good mood about? Hold on, Spike have you seen the checklist on Pony-Changeling Cultural Integration and Distribution of Resources?”
“Um… want to run that by me again?”
Twilight just gave her assistant an impatient look.
“Right, big checklist let me see…”
Scanning the room he quickly saw the edge of a piece of paper sticking out from under the bed, which he promptly grabbed and examined.
“How about this, is this it?” Spike offered Twilight the scroll.
Twilight gently grabbed the scroll over with her magic and quickly examined it herself. “This is it! Thanks Spike.”
“No problem Twilight, just doing my duty as your number one assistant!”
Twilight gave Spike a quick pat on the head. “Well consider it a duty well done!” she said cheerfully. “Now come on, I bet you’re at least as hungry as I am.”
A rumble from Spike’s stomach confirmed this.
“Fair enough, some of the others may already be in the dining hall anyway, let’s go Twilight.”
Spike walked towards the bedroom door, shortly followed by Twilight. Opening the door they saw two of Twilight’s guards standing either side.
“Princess.” They both saluted as Twilight exited the room.
‘I’m never going to get used to this...’ Twilight thought to herself.
“Morning gentlecolts,” Twilight greeted, pushing past her inner thoughts about the guard’s formality. “And just call me Twilight please, there is no need to be so formal around me. Carduus doesn’t act so formal.”
“Apologies, we will keep that in mind,” one of the guards responded.
“Heading off to breakfast?” the other asked.
Twilight nodded. “Where are the others?”
“The Captain will meet us at the dining hall with the others.”
“OK then, come on lets go get some food.”
Spike quickly jumped onto Twilight’s back, sitting just between her two wings. The four of them quietly made their way through the castle heading straight for the dining room.
However, Twilight could tell something was wrong; as they passed through one hallway the young Changeling Princess spotted a few mares, maids by the looks of them, talking with a guard. Tears streamed down the fur on their faces.
“What’s with them?” Spike asked.
One of the guards looked towards the crying mares, before simply shrugging. “I’m afraid I do not know. Nothing good however if I were to hazard a guess.”
“Hold up,” Twilight quickly signaled, having spotted something out a window.
Quickly rushing out onto a nearby balcony Twilight’s gaze wandered to a nearby tower, or rather the base of it. Guards were surrounding the entire area, which had been bordered off. A coroners chariot sat nearby.
Looking quickly back into the hallway as her companions gawked at the sight, Twilight called to a passing Solar Guard. “Hey, what’s happened down there?”
The guard approached Twilight and looked to where she was pointing, before shaking his head solemnly. “I’m afraid tragedy has struck, your highness. One of the maids, I don’t know her name, jumped out of the tower.”
Twilight’s eyes widened in shock. “Suicide?”
“So it would appear, anyways I’m afraid I must get back to it. Have a pleasant day, your highness.” The guard bowed his head respectfully before making his leave.
“W-why would anypony do that?” Spike asked disbelievingly.
“Perhaps your friends have more details?” one of the changeling guards suggested.
“Right,” Twilight agreed. “Come on, let’s get moving.”
The rest of the journey was spent in silence, finally they reached the two doors leading back into the dining room, which opened with a massive creak.
Already inside sitting around the table was Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash who were all deep in discussion.
“-can you believe such a state of affairs?” Rarity asked in a shocked manner. “To simply jump off a tower to your own doom, why would you do that?”
“Girls?” Twilight called out.
“Ah, Twilight darling. How are you this morning?”
“I’m fine, but what’s going on with this mare? Why did she do it?”
“Well that’s the mystery, this mare had no reason to do what she did, she just jumped and that was it. Apparently it was quite a gory sight, I do not envy the poor souls who discovered the body.”
“The mystery?” Rainbow Dash remarked. “You make it sound like a murder rather than a suicide.”
“Indeed darling, that is what I’m implying.”
Rainbow snorted. “From what we can tell the mare jumped herself, what makes you think this is a murder? This isn’t one of your detective novels you know.”
“Just call it a hunch, combine that with no apparent motive and well…”
“Ah agree with Rainbow, for once,” Applejack voiced her opinion. “There’s no proof of foul play, from what ah can see the mare made a stupid, and tragic decision.”
“Then we must agree to disagree darling; I still bet my bits there is more to this than we realise,” Rarity maintained.
“Well simmer down about that, ‘specially around less pro-changeling folk, don’t want to give them ammunition to fire.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight, who had sat down while her friends debated, asked Applejack.
“What ah mean sugarcube, is that those who oppose you might try to pin this on a changeling, ya know with the whole mind control ability ya’ll have.”
“You don’t really think they would do that, do you?” Twilight asked worriedly.
“I wouldn’t put it past some of the so-called ‘nobility’ here in Canterlot. Ponies like Jet Set and Upper Crust come to mind,” Rarity remarked.
“Or that meanie Blueblood!” Pinkie suggested.
“Yes darling, like Blueblood.”
The two changeling guards stared at Pinkie Pie in utter confusion. “Are none of you concerned about that?”
“About what?” Spike asked.
“She appeared out of nowhere!”
Spike shrugged. “Its Pinkie Pie.”
“So how are we all this morning?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“We’re fine Pinkie,” Twilight answered her friend.
“Good,” she responded simply, before grabbing some food from the table.
But a moment later the double doors opened up again; this time Fluttershy walked in with Carduus, the other changelings, both guards and diplomats, following just behind the two. Fluttershy and Carduus were in conversation.
“Hey Flutters!” Rainbow Dash called out. “Since when were you two such good friends.”
“Oh hello Rainbow, Carduus here was just telling me about little Iuvenes, she sounds like such a little sweetie.”
“She is,” Carduus confirmed. “If a little trouble maker at times, but nymphs will be nymphs, or as you would say foals will be foals.”
“I know, in a way small children aren’t much different from the small animals I look after; take Angel for instance.”
“I doubt this Iuvenes is that evil,” Rainbow remarked.
“Oh, Angel isn’t bad, you all just misunderstand him. He is a real sweetheart at his core. You should just get to know him better… you know, if you want to.”
“You are way too understanding Flutters.”
“Now now darling, enough of that,” Rarity spoke up. “Come on in Fluttershy dear, what do you want to eat?”
Fluttershy took a seat at the table, as did Carduus and the diplomats who sat near to Twilight, the guards placed themselves near the room’s entrance.
As they all dug into their food, Carduus reached into a saddlebag and brought at several small containers filled with a soft green glowing substance within.
“Hey Twilight, try this.” Carduus slid on of the containers towards the Princess.
“What is it?”
“Just try it!"
Cautiously Twilight examined the substance within, apprehensive about the stuff. Slowly she opened the lid and took a sip, her eyes widening immediately.
“This is delicious! What is it?”
“Hang on egghead, let me try!” Rainbow quickly snatched the container, and as Carduus tried to warn her not to do so Rainbow Dash took a large swig of the green substance.
The container fell from Rainbow’s grasp as she began to splutter, luckily Twilight caught it before it spilled. Rainbow wretched as she fell onto the table, trying to rid the taste from her mouth as the drones all burst into hysterics.
“What was that!? Are you trying to poison me?” Rainbow raged as she continued to splutter.
Calming from his laughter, Carduus explained. “I tried to warn you! It’s not for consumption by anything other than changelings, lest you want to be sick.”
“What is that stuff?” Twilight asked again.
“That is the jelly-like substance usually placed into maturation pods, naturally full of nutrients for young nymphs, but it can also be infused with love fresh from the reservoir and turned into a sort of love-jelly smoothie! These fine fellows brought some over from the hive.” Carduus gestured towards the three diplomats.
“Wait! You dip your kids in that disgusting stuff?!” Rainbow shouted.
“Not this jelly specifically, this jelly was made for love infusion and drinking.”
“That’s what ya get for snatching, Rainbow!” Applejack jabbed.
“Ah shut it you! Just… keep that stuff away from me.” Rainbow quickly made her way back to her seat, trying to keep her dignity intact.
Rainbow was saved from any further jabs however when the doors opened again, Princess Luna entered the room flanked by two thestral guards, she did not look happy.
“Princess Luna!” Twilight shot up from her chair and cantered over to greet her. “Is everything alright?”
“Nay, Twilight Sparkle. Not only has one of our maids been tragically taken from this world, Vladimir has reported that a member of my guard has seemingly vanished without a trace.”
“V-vanished?” Twilight couldn’t believe her ears.
‘What’s going on today?’
“Indeed, an investigation is ongoing, and I was wondering if any of you might know anything?”
“Hold on,” Carduus spoke up. “Are we suspects in this investigation of yours?”
Luna gazed towards Carduus, before shaking her head. “No, we trust Twilight Sparkle and her friends completely, I was just hoping you had heard or seen something out of the ordinary.”
“I’m sorry Luna, but I don’t believe any of us have seen anything, have any of you?” Twilight turned to the others, who all shook their heads.
Luna sighed. “I suspected as much, as I said there is absolutely no sign of him. However, there is another matter. My sister and I are in agreement that one of our maids dying, and one of our guards disappearing at the same time as these diplomatic meetings is more than a little suspicious.”
“I knew it,” Rarity muttered to herself victoriously.
Luna continued. “As such we both would like you to be on constant alert, Twilight Sparkle, and have a few Equestrian guards accompany you today.” Luna gestured as three Solar Guards walked into the room, saluting both princesses.
“Is this really necessary?” Twilight asked.
“We are not willing to take chances on your safety Twilight, so yes, this is necessary.”
Sighing, Twilight nodded in understanding.
“Good, then we shall see you when the proceedings begin, farewell Twilight Sparkle.”
Luna quickly bid her farewells to the others and left the room, followed by her two guards, leaving the three Solar Guards behind.
“OK then Rarity, maybe you weren’t so off the mark after all…” Rainbow admitted.
Twilight sat back down at the table, and the rest of breakfast went by without incident, and once nerves had calmed conversation erupted once more. Carduus told the rest of the Element Bearers of his family, and a few more jabs were shared about various subjects. Before long however breakfast was eaten, and royal duty called.
“Mind how you go darling,” Rarity said to Twilight as they all left the dining hall, the Element Bearers would be heading off down to the city for the day while Twilight was dealing with diplomacy.
“Don’t worry about me Rarity, I will see you girls tonight?”
“Of course!”
After saying their farewells one another the two groups departed, heading in opposite directions. Twilight walked in the middle of the group with the three changeling diplomats, Carduus walked at the head of the group with two of his guards either side, a Solar Guard flanked each side while the rest followed closely behind them. Twilight felt extremely uncomfortable being surrounded by so many guards walking in formation, she didn’t believe there was any need for such extensive protection, she hadn’t needed it the previous day so why would she need it that day?
The group made their way to the castle, passing a few patrolling guards, servants and the odd noble as they went. Eventually they walked towards a corridor that opened out into a sun-filled courtyard, five solar guards were spread out lining the wall standing stoically as usual.
Those five gave Carduus a bad feeling, a feeling he couldn’t quite explain.
Soon enough the group began to move past them, everything seemed normal.
Until the group reached the middle of the line, where with a tremendous shout the five guards suddenly drew their weapons and began to surround the group, with five more bounding out of the bushes, also having their weapons drawn.
“Ambush!” Carduus called, drawing his sword.
The ten attackers surrounded the group, the eight guards protecting Twilight formed a circle around the startled diplomats and princess.
“Twilight stay back!” Carduus called out, just as the traitorous Solar Guards sprang forward with murderous intent.
The clash of steel rang down the hallways, Carduus’ blade meeting the first attacker's head on.
Down the hall a servant saw the confrontation take place, and quickly ran to get help.
Twilight watched in shock as Carduus struggled with the first attacker, steel clashing against steel. Carduus narrowly dodged a swing of the guard’s sword before parrying yet another blow, however another made its mark and left a fierce gash down one side of the captain’s torso. Undeterred, a moment later Carduus administered a well-timed kicked to the face causing the guard to shout in pain as blood poured from his muzzle, before the shout was silenced as Carduus drove his blade into the guard’s eye socket. Once the guard slumped Carduus swung his blade at the next guard within reach.
However something else caught Twilight's eye, turning around Twilight saw two of her own guards fighting three of the traitors, and losing. Before she could process what was happening, one of the traitors made one clean sweep with his sword, and took off the heads off both changeling guards, the very same two that Twilight had met outside of her room that very morning.
“NO!” Twilight screamed as she let a beam of lavender magic loose violently towards the killer, blasting him back into the wall, where he impacted with a horrifying crack before slumping over, completely still.
The other two traitors looked towards Twilight and made a run straight for her, only to be pounced upon by Carduus and one of the non-traitorous Solar Guards. Carduus was able to swiftly dispatch his target, but his ally sadly did not, instead the outmatched pony took his attackers blade straight to the abdomen. As his bloodthirsty killer turned to face Carduus, Twilight grabbed onto her weapon with her magic and quickly pulled it from her grasp, before smashing its hilt into her face.
The mare crumpled, and Carduus was quick to finish her.
Twilight saw another loyal Solar Guard fall to one of the assailant’s blades, shortly followed by a changeling guard. Maintaining their superior numbers the assailants pressed their attack on the defending group. A changeling guard and the remaining Solar Guard not with the traitors teamed on one of the attackers, jamming both of their blades into his chest as he made a swing at one of the diplomats.
Carduus swung around as another attacker veered down onto him, a Pegasus. However his flight was cut short when Carduus charged his horn and fired a lethal bolt straight into his face, bringing the Pegasus’ flight to a halt with his momentum carrying him down onto the hard stone floor of the castle.
The remaining four attackers grouped together for a joint attack, clearly intent on finishing the fight in one final push.
“ENOUGH!” Twilight bellowed, releasing a pulse that sent the attacking guards flying uncontrollably into the open courtyard.
The four landed in a heap, and as they slowly got up they saw Princess Twilight Sparkle approaching them, magical energies pouring off of her and her eyes glowing pure white, fury written on her face.
The sight and sheer power radiating from the changeling princess caused fear to course through the remaining guards, thinking quickly a unicorn in the group charged his horn and caused a blinding flash of white to consume all those present.
Twilight snarled as her vision was momentarily blocked out, but when it returned the four surviving traitors had already fled.
Silence.
Twilight slowly let go of the rage burning through her, turning around to see the three diplomats huddled together in fear, but alive.
The same couldn’t be said for all of them however.
Carduus stared down in sorrow at his three fallen friends, and regretfully at the two fallen Solar Guards who had given their lives to protect Princess Twilight.
“Twilight!?” a familiar voice echoed though the castle, followed shortly by the princess of the sun herself, accompanied by six other armed ponies, Longshot included.
Princess Celestia stopped dead at the sight that awaited her, horror visible on her face. Though heartbroken for the ponies and changelings that lay dead, she scanned the corpses for the one she feared for the most.
“I’m here,” a voice croaked from the courtyard.
The moment that voice reached her ears, she bolted into the courtyard itself and snatched Twilight into a strong, fearful embrace.
“Oh thank goodness you’re alright! What happened here?”
“It would seem there are traitors in your ranks,” Carduus answered, motioning to one of the mentioned traitors in the spot where he had fallen, “These guards attacked us, and didn’t even spare their so called ‘brothers in arms’ that helped us against them.”
“Celestia? Why would they do this?” Twilight asked with tears in her eyes, calling Celestia by her name for once. Normally that fact would cause glee in the Solar Princess, but on this occasion it brought only dread.
Reluctantly, Celestia slowly let go of Twilight. “I do not know Twilight, but I will find out.”
Celestia turned away from Twilight to talk to Carduus, who was already conversing with Longshot as the new arrivals moved to secure the area.
Twilight stood staring at the remains of the fallen bodies, so absorbed was she in the grisly sight that she barely even noticed a Solar Guard approaching her, not until he whispered into her ear.
“Queen Crudelis sends her regards,” Broad Sword informed her.
Blood sputtered from Twilight’s mouth as she felt something, an object, breach her chitin and embed itself within her. Everything seemed to lose focus as something from the object began to rapidly burn its way through her body, poisoning everything it touched.
Looking down, Twilight could see the hilt of a dagger poking out of a gushing wound, darkness began to close in around her.
“Hey!” Longshot shouted in alarm as he witnessed the deed, grabbing his crossbow and firing a bolt at Broad Sword. But he quickly took to the skies and fled, the shot unfortunately only skimming one of his hind legs.
Two Pegasi guards immediately flew off to chase after the retreating commander, Princess Celestia shot around and jumped forward, grabbing Twilight as she fell, cradling her fragile form within her hooves.
Twilight felt Celestia’s comforting embrace, she was saying something to her, something desperate and begging, but Twilight couldn’t quite make them out. Twilight tried to say something, and yet she couldn’t form the words, her body simply no longer having the strength to do so. The pain stopped, as did all other feeling as her senses began to shut down with her body.
Darkness finally engulfed her completely.
And she knew no more.
Queen Chrysalis screamed in terror as she fell from her throne in agony.
She had felt what had happened through the hive mind, felt that pony commander plunge the poisoned blade into her daughters body.
And so had every single other drone.
Should I add a dark or gore tag for this chapter? Let me know.
I'll be waiting for the next chapter...
We all will...
6953307 Don't think its explicit enough for that.
6953307 If your planning any other scenes like this...yeah probably.
No... Don't die...
Uh oh. Chrysalis isn't going to take this well...
If you killed her off I WILL SMITE YOU
Soooo, if Chrysalis was watching Twi and could feel everything... then she also heard that Queed Cruddy is involved.
Why do assassins do stupid things like whisper the name of their employer?
Oh wait... they usually don't unless they can stick around and be sure they finished the job.
Anyway, Twilight's dead! Her Plot Armor has failed her at last!
I knew it was only a matter of time before it happened, but that still doesn't change the fact it's so shocking. Celly needs to fuck that changeling up. Hard.
well...that happened
6953307 Not explicit enough. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Good Gork.
Twilight maybe a changeling, but surely she can survive that, being the Element of Magic and all that? For some reason, the premise is essentially a darker version of the Sonataverse.
shit
6953307 yes
GOD DAMN CRUDALIS DIE IN A FIREY ABYSS
I say dark. To be sure but it's not exactly gore-y
WHHAAAAATTT!! Broad Sword / Serpens, you will be destroyed eventually by the wrath of Twilight's family and friends. You deserve to be sent to Tartarus, you infernal beast!
If Twilight dies, I swear that I will set Pinkamena on you!
I wonder when we'll see Crudelis, like out in the open.
6953307 for one chapter? Probably not.
Word to the wise. Never invoke the wrath of let's see... 3 princesses, 5 Element Bearers, 2 Guard Captains, 2 adoptive parents, and a VERY angry Queen of the Changelings. They are so very screwed.
"Not prey to be hunted"
Pray is the action you take to commune with a higher power as in "Pray to whatever god you choose, they will not smile on you"
Prey is an animal which is hunted by a predator as in "The prey animal entered the woodland clearing, its nose twitching as it sniffed for any untoward scent"
I think it's an understatement to say Crysalis will not take this well.
She's going to break out the napalm.
And I'm sending Princess Celestia on you Crudelis.
Go die in a fire.
6953428
6953393
6953374
6953370
6953336 As improbable as it might seem, I don't believe she's dead. Why do I say this? Let me offer all of you a question: if Twilight really is about to die, why didn't the author add a "tragedy" tag to this story? I doubt that he/she had forgotten to add it before this chapter came out, everything, even the assassination seems a little too planned. Then again, I might be wrong on this.
P.S. I think there might be a way that Twilight could have survived that. It's very small, but it could be the only reason that she might be alive even after all of that. At the same time, I just hope I'm right.
prey. PRAY is a verb meaning to ask, generally used in religion; PREY is a noun meaning target of a hunter.
"Flutters" should be capitalized.
"Angel" needs to be capitalized both times, it should be a comma after "evil," not a period, and it should technically be a semicolon (;) after "small animals I look after."
guernseydonkey.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/CommasSaveLives2.jpg
Right now, she is snatching Rainbow, instead of Rainbow doing the snatching.
Comma.
attacker's
Sorry to be such a jerk about punctuation, but once I did one I just couldn't stop. (There are a couple of others that I ignored, though.)
Over all, great chapter. I look forward to seeing Twilight not be dead (she DARN well better not be...) and seeing the demise of Serpens (he DARN well better have one...).
Celestia and Luna did everything right, and the ****er still got the job done. ...except that "Mommy" was listening in on that last whisper. Idiot.
Okay, then. Computer, access my revenge armory. Get me a lot of smg ammo, a chaingun, and a tank, as well as a crossbow outfitted with a tracking bolt. And get a medic to Twilight, now!
6953534 Chrysalis didn't hear anything, she only felt Twilight's pain and Carduus told her who did it over the hive.
Still though...
If Serpens thinks he can hide from them for long, he is a fool.
why most the young fall,, or will she, not sure but me think something magical going to happen that or damage done to twilight will cause by the queen and princess to form a perment alliance to hunt down and wipe all other changeling off the map.....
Pardon me for a moment. *loads Barrett M82* There's someone I need to kill.
Alright so if Twilight dies without there being a tragedy tag on this thing, you are a massive dick of an author.
Since there is no tag on it though, I'm going to keep hope that she will pull through.
...
Welp, I'm about to get up and go.
Go get a drink and wait for the next chapter, that is.
Looks like a changeling war is coming. Anyone else getting that feeling?
6953469 You better pray to Faust you're right on this.
6953514
I'll just leave this here...
Well. Time for me to load up my nine mil, my dads two forty-fives, our twenty-two, my fifty cal muzzle-loader, my dad's shotgun, his muzzle-loader, my katana, my kunai's, my pocket knives, my hunting knife(so I can gut them and field dress them after)and buy an AR-15, an uzi, a fifty cal machine gun, and a tank. That might not be enough firepower to fully show my displeasure to Serpens and Crudelis. Plus, it wouldn't be enough to take out that entire hive. Course, If I can at least make it to Crudelis, I'll be able to take out the head of the snake. Celestia, the elements, big brother, Luna, Cadence, her adoptive parents, Chrysalis, and all of Ponyville will just have to settle for sloppy seconds.
6953676 That's a lotta weapons.
6953727 Honestly, no it's not. We have a lot more weapons here, but I couldn't think of the calibers of the other guns we have. And, I wish we had more. Plus a lot more ammo.
6953801 What's a muzzle loader? As for me, I would tear Serpens and Crudelis' eyes out with a pencil and beat 'em to a bloody pulp with a scooter, then I would subject them to torture by dubstep.
*eye twitch* Serpens, you just. Killed. TWILIGHT...My favorite Mane 6...YOU MOTHER-BUCKING KILLED TWILIGHT!!!
PREPARE FOR TARTARUS!!!
GET READY FOR WAR!
Well, the fecal matter has officially hit the oscillating unit. I just hope Twiling makes it.
6953832 Spoilers in the comments, apparently.
Not going to read this story because apparently Twilight dies.
6953832 She's not dead yet...
I however, suspect an avalanche about to roll over Crudelis, courtesy of Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Chrysalis, the Harmony bearers...
...boy, that list could keep going for days...
6953727 we're talking about twilight being murdered here... expect blood.
dfude.......... last chatper was crap.
for starters, since when were changelings strong enough to Actually Harm Ponies? There is no fucking way he could jsut snap a neck, let alone dispose of it before a soul noticed. nor was it likely that he could jsut compel a pony to kill themselves; that is far too much to accept.
seriously, six fraeking mares overpowered over a hundred of em. no way one could just kill a pony so easily. especially since it lacks both the capacity to snap a neck with its limbs, the spine of an equine would be too thick to do so, but he would have fucking shouted for help long before he could be killed.
that last chapter was jsut needless darkness for needless darkness, and this chapter continues on it.
was worried this would spiral >_<
Sorry dude but you did several 'imma make this story suddenly dark' mistakes in a row. unnecessary deaths, which would ahve alerted everyone of foul play. suddenly the guards being blood thirsty enough to attack other ponies, despite having only one instance of questionable behavior from celestia. the flying fucking equine not just flying into the air and shouting for back up, and the all so famous cannot actually work necksnap.
Seriously, you've messed up the execution here.
6953469 also shne is right next to a powerful thousand year old alicorn who probably has had people try and harm her allies, and loved one, hundreds of times?
she could easily save twilight here.
also she could ahve equally easily just torn that idiot from the sky before he could even falp twice........ in fact she would ahve instantly.
Serpens arrogance may have screwed up Crudelis' plan. Chrysalis had to have heard the assassins words before Twilight was stabbed.
6953307 At the very least the Dark tag should be added. Thinking about it now, it should have been added last chapter.
6953943
Well you have to remember that, in this story, the changelings were under orders to not harm any ponies during the 'invasion'. Also the changelings here have never been portrayed as being feeble. Except when the hive was literally at the point of starving to death.
6953943 Actually, it is quite possible. We have no idea how strong and well-trained Crudelis' hive is. We know they are ruthless and cruel. They may have training that surpasses Celestia's own guards.
Ohohoh, it's the beggining of the hive wars...
6953966 nope. they are weaker than ponies. because its clear by their conniving and illusionary abilities, and nature, they are more built for subterfuge than direct conflict. creatures that shapeshifti nto others do not do so if they can match them in a fight well enough.
still doesn't change the guard not calling for help, or fly...... and no one reacting to the missing guard and suicided mare....... which is beyond hard to swallow that you could compel someone to kill themselves without them breaking out of it cause, you know, major conflict of interest? will power being strengthened because of survival isntincts and generally not wanting to die?