17 - Broken Armor
“What the hay, hero?”
Longshot couldn’t hide the contempt on his face. Not that it mattered, Shining Armor wasn't even looking at him. Instead he stared eyes wide at the floor, mumbling to himself. “What have I… I done?”
Vladimir shoved Longshot into the room, and closed the doors behind him. He had overheard the conversation too, but he wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth. It certainly hadn't sounded like the captain he had been serving alongside.
“How could you be so cold, to your…” Longshot was cut off by Vladimir putting a hoof to his mouth.
“I’ll handle this,” he turned and looked at Shining head on. “CAPTAIN ARMOR!” That startled him out of his trance, and he looked back at Vlad. “We were ordered to track this hive down, and in the event that we did, we were to act as diplomats on behalf of their highnesses. So far, your conduct has been unbecoming of not only an officer of the Solar Guard, but as a gentlecolt of Equestria, and most importantly, a brother.” Shining’s face fell ashen, Vlad knowing that his speech had the desired effect. “You have one chance to explain yourself before I have you detained, and carted back to Canterlot in chains.”
Longshot raised an eyebrow to Vladimir's reaction. “Wow Vlad, didn’t expect that from you of all ponies, I can see the papers now, 'Lunar VS Solar, Captain Vladimir locks up Solar counterpart'.”
Shining Armor that looked back at him now was a ghost of his usual self. “I’m… I’m sorry, I just can’t get the image out of my head. She just… she just looks so much like her…”
Longshot and Vladimir both looked at each other. They could both see the signs; the thousand yard stare, the uncontrollable shaking - Shining was in the middle of a P.T.S.D episode. Longshot grabbed a bed cover, and draped it around Shiny’s shoulders, before sitting next to him. Vladimir sat down with them.
“Care to explain?”
Shining gulped, but nodded; he knew he wasn't getting anywhere till he told them. “I haven't told anyone this, not even Cadance, but… I remember everything,” the pair looked at him, momentarily confused. “I mean, the lead up to the wedding. The Queen swapped out for the real Cadance about a week beforehand. I noticed straight away that something was wrong. It was a good impression, but it wasn’t good enough. So I confronted her. After she realised I wasn’t going to be fooled, she attacked. She knocked me to the ground, and touched her horn to mine. Before I knew what was happening, my mind was flooded with her presence. It felt horrible, alien. I had lost, without even knowing it. She got up, and looked at me. She told me to get up, and I did. She told me to walk in a circle, and I did. I would do everything she told me, and I had to watch myself do it, unable to get my own body to respond.”
Both Vlad and Longshot stared at Shining in horror.
“The whole time, all I could think about was Cadance – what had she done with Cadance? My next memory is waking up half an hour later, and ‘Cadance’ told me I had bumped my head. I believed her. I lived the next week out, half myself, half not. It wasn’t until we started on this trip that my memories have come back. She must have put a memory suppression spell on me, but now that I’m free, I can recall at least nine occasions where my mind woke up, and she had to recast her spell. Each time I felt like I had been hit by a freight train, and each time I relived the horrible realization I had no idea where my Cadance was.”
Shining released a sigh.
“Each night on this trip, I recall a little more. But just then, when I saw Twily in her natural form, all I could see was a younger version of her mother. The wall inside, it broke, and in that instant, I felt everything.”
His two companions were speechless. His story more than covered his sudden change.
“And the worst part is that I just hurt Twilight. I know in my heart that she isn’t a monster, and her species probably aren’t either, but the two sides in my head can’t meet up at the moment, and I took it out on her.”
Vlad placed a hoof on his shoulder. “Shining, look, if there is anything I can do for you, just let me know.”
Shining looked up from the floor, a new look of determination on his face. “There is. Get me a meeting with the Queen.”
“My Queen!”
Chrysalis rolled over in her bed. “Which ever ling saw fit to wake me from my slumber best have a good reason!” Careful not to disturb Twilight, she climbed out of bed.
“I’m sorry your highness, but Captain Armor demands an audience.”
“No one demands an audience with me, but, I really want to talk with him. Send him to the throne room, I will be there shortly.”
Shining Armor sat in the middle of the throne room, whilst Vlad and Longshot stayed by the main doors. Several of the changeling guards around the room were giving him death glares; obviously his outburst had spread around the hive.
A door to an antechamber opened, and the Queen strode in. She walked past Shining, turning around in front of him. “I have just spent the last half hour holding my crying daughter until she went to sleep. Answer for yourself, Captain Armor, before I throw you out into the ravenous desert of the Badlands.”
Shining Armor's eyes fell at the mention of Twilight’s tears, but became resolute again once she continued.
“Answer for myself? Answer for myself? How in bloody Tartarus dare you. It is YOU who need to answer for their actions!”
Taken aback by this, Chrysalis scoffed. “Me?”
“Yes, YOU! Rather than just meet with Princess Celestia, and explain the situation, you turn me into a puppet, and ruin my wedding. And to top it all off; I REMEMBER EVERYTHING!”
Shining Armor's voice reverberated around the throne room, but it still made less noise then the look on Chrysalis’s muzzle.
The word devastated doesn’t come close enough. A few seconds later, she sank to the floor. She mouthed like a fish for a few moments, before she could finally speak.
“You were never supposed to remember anything – that’s the point of the spell.” Then the true weight of her actions, the true horror she put him through, came to the forefront of her mind. “I would never have done this is I had known the spell could fail, I… I would never wish that kind of pain on my enemies.”
‘I’m not Crudelis,’ Chrysalis thought to herself.
Shining looked down at her, anger in his eyes. “Yet it is done.”
"And I regret what happened, but it is in the past now; it time to start anew, Captain."
"Regret? Do you know what it feels like? Huh? To come so close to losing sompony who you hold so dear!"
"I would think you would find that I do! My husband died protecting Twilight, whom if you will recall I in fact also very nearly lost, so don't you have the gall to lecture me on loss, Shining Armor!"
Shining's eyes widened at the queen's words, a slight bit of guilt coming up to meet the anger, but not quite enough to sate it completely, just enough to cool it. Chrysalis and Shining stared each other down, with Shining losing some of his nerve at the changeling queen's retort, and Chrysalis with regret in her eyes. It was Chrysalis who spoke again.
“Twilight will be heading back to Canterlot tomorrow, you know.”
That took Shining by surprise. “She is?”
“She wants to know whether everypony else will react the way you did.”
“They won’t.”
“But she doesn’t know that, not for certain. I’m arranging for you three to return with her, I just hope you use that time to make amends, for your sake.”
“Was that a threat?”
“No,” she responded. “It's advice, for you will never forgive yourself otherwise.”
Shining looked away. “Perhaps I… I just don’t know if now is the right time.”
“And when will be?”
“I don’t know!”
Silence reigned in the large throne room, before Shining eventual managed to speak up again.
“I’ll never forget. What you did.”
Chrysalis sighed. “Neither should you, but let’s at least try to keep it civil, for my daughter’s… for Twilight’s sake.”
After a few moments of consideration he reluctantly replied, “Agreed.”
This chapter was a collab between me and my editor, RC2101_Copey, with him writing about 90% of the chapter. Did I ever mention how much of a big help he is when writing this? 
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still wish you rewrote the other chapter. THIS WHOLE TENSION IS NOT NEEDED BETWEEN HIM AND TWILIGHT.
I persanlly like it, but that may be because i have started becoming more dramatic the more i log on here.
Personally I would have really liked a bit more out of their meeting. It just felt kind of rushed
6823269 Stop whining, What happens happens, Roll with the punches or run. Telling the author what he should be doing usually results in the story never reaching completion. I would rather have a few parts I don't like then not get to see how the story runs itself to the finish.
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
I just hope the queen has the guts to admit to Twilight what exactly she did to Shining.
Personally I think it makes sense. Remember this is just after the event so of course he is still traumatized. You never know how hard things like this will hit someone.
Alright, so here's my thoughts on all of this. Shining Armor's reaction to Twilight last chapter left a visceral feeling of betrayal behind it. Not just to Twilight, but also to the readers. While this chapter offers a reason for his reaction; it doesn't seem emotional, it seems logical. Without seeing Shining Armor going through all these flashbacks he says that he was having his remorse doesn't feel earned. Basically what I'm saying is that not only does he need to redeem himself to Twilight, he needs to redeem himself to the readers as well.
I guess Shining was exactly talking about the things I didn´t like about several other fanfictions, but because Chrysalis is one of my favourite characters, I couldn´t be mad with her.
What exactly was that P.T.S.D episode? I know that she used his body, and normally I would understand him, but like I said, suprisingly I´m not mad at her, and think as long as she didn´t raped him its half as bad, as it could have been.
However I know that I normally wouldn´t like it, and I´m not sure if I udnerstood what exactly happened. She invaded his body yes?
Well nice chapter.
6823398 Mind rape is a thing.
Nice chapter, good work.
6823356 Have you ever had PTSD?
6823398 She basically raped his mind, which, though we don't really have a real-world equivalent, many people believe to be much more invasive and traumatizing than normal rape.
These is what I hoped for, a little more out of there meeting would have been better but with what we got I enjoy it.
More filler. Lovely.
That explain so much.
6823424 I haven´t said it wasn´t, I just asked what exactly happened.
I said that I normally would not agree with her behavior, and just said I can´t be mad at my favourite character.
Not sure if it is really called mind rape, and isn´t called something else, but that isn´t the point here.
6823301 I think it helps if they have our opinions, they can decide if they want to agree with us or not, some actually told me they like to hear that.
6823269 In a way agree with you.
6823327 ahh yes in this story she don´t exactly know what happened, I forgot about that.
6823347 Yes your comment part of remembers me why I didn´t liked one story, where a Human was sort of mauled by Twilight´s magic, forced to agree with everything she wanted, and once she was sad because he was angry at her, everyone even his sister was angry at him for not liking his abuse, and because he made her sad. He even was forced to stay still, and let Twilight apologize. That was a story where I thought it would have been a nice ending, if Twilight didn´t tried to force him, but tried to persuade him normally.
6823356 I need to make sure that I not just agree with everything, but another point of view that I think, I can understand a little bit.
6823443 Well thank you for explaning it, but I get the feeling two of you are thinking I thought it was harmless. No I just wasn´t sure if that was exactly what happened. I can understand that part, while a story sometimes need parts that we don´t like to add some tension, or something like that, I just couldn´t be mad at my favourite character, and I guess the way it was introduced didn´t made me feel bad.
Normally I don´t like it if a main char is just getting abused, and once I even was angry about Luna just invading a Humans mind, ordering him to do something, and that he had no other choice, or not even seeing his dream as something personal. I guess in a way it is a bit similar, while she doesn´t controle their bodys, I think it start´s to be a bad thing once they don´t liker her being there, and she doesn´t want to leave.
I´m just saying it because I´m curious about my downvote, but I get the feeling it wasn´t you who downvoted my comment, because you actually answered my question. I´m not mad, just curious about the downvote.
Fun to see two chapters on one day.
Unless I missed the previous and only noticed it today... 
That would be kind of embarrassing.... 
Should be 'there.'
6823585 I understand, but for some of the others, as I have come to recognize, it is difficult to tell the difference between a clear opinion and a clouded demand. Though I have to agree with Pinklafter some of the text does seem a bit forced, like the characters wanted to go one way but the author chose to follow a script instead, on top of not having a fully defined plot.
I will most likely get a lot of flack for this, But I don't really care.
I like the turn of events to this point. And I expectantly like that I don't have all the information.
Finding out that Shining Armor got P.T.S.D from the invasion is as far as I know a unused twist, and I can see how his P.T.S.D would make him blow up at Twilight. Now I'm not sure if we got a detailed description of Twilight as a Changeling, But as Shining Armor said and I Quote.
That is what Shining Armor said regarding Twilight's Changeling form. Now weather that is a true statement regarding her appearance or just what Shining saw due to his P.T.S.D all depends on the author. I'm looking forward too seeing how things turn out along with the chars of the story, not sit and wait for them to figure out something that was given to me as a reader on a silver plate.
Now obviously there are exceptions to this. But Mostly I feel like more author's should keep more from the readers and surprise them then Give them every piece of information. As long as it doesn't come to out of left field.
What I'm trying to get across is.
Nice Twist, and (According to me) a reasonable explanation as to why he reacted as he did. Keep up the good job
6823269
I have to agree with Admiral here, within reason.
We need SOMETHING to forward this, right?
In this episode Shining Armor and Chrysalis compete in the misery olympics.
Nice chapter but only one problem wait no its just really sad
shining armor and a stupid hope that during re apologize to his sister .
In addition the real sisters and the rest of the mane six is going to embrace twilight , I think pinkie pie is going to have a party in his honor .
6823301 I agree completely. This is a great story so far, just like so many others I've read before signing up, yet they never got completed. And looking through the comments it has whiny little babies complaining about them and doing their best to make the authors feel like crap. Maybe if some of them would actually read the damned story and enjoy for what it is instead of trying to force the authors to change their stories, then more good stories would be finished instead of the author's losing inspiration from the comments ranging from crying because things aren't going how they want to outright flames and attacks.
Nice chapter. Hope they make up on the way back. Looking forward to the next chapter.
6823881
Actually it wouldn't take much to cause the PTSD episode i've seen some people with severe reactions over the smallest things when dealing with PTSD. (No i don't mean the whiny little brats who like to scream triggered because someone threatened them on twitter.) I had a soldier who's case was so severe that just driving down the road he'd swear he was back in Afghanistan. So yeah in Shining's it could've been her carapace, same eye color, or even hair color. One or any combination of those could do it.
A very good chapter, I liked Chrysalis's counter argument.
6825173 Does seem that way doesn't it.
6823443 Oh come on, Yugi uses it all the time.
Also, to those who answered my previous post, I never said his reaction want understandable, and this chapter further cements it, but that it wasn't good. I think we can all agree by now that, continuing my example, stretching the repercussions to anyone of Japanese descent wasn't a good thing.
Hmm, I like this explanation. I think that with more discussions and Chryssie trying to make it up to him and/or working out a way to perhaps remove these memories, she might be able to at least have a non-antagonistic relationship with him.
Cya
Raziel-chan
6823443 And many people believe that rape is being overused as a word to garner attention to a less important problem. See "stare rape".
6826131 Believe me, I'm one of those people, but I thought the term was accurate for describing the situation.
6826709 Yea well... things are fucked up.
I'm not really sure how to feel about this fic.
It's got plenty of grammar and word-choice errors, but I can muscle my way past the cringes, and they're not really getting in the way of my understanding what's going on.
The bits with Broad Sword's imposter make me groan, and have convinced me to learn to skim. He's an awfully mustache-twirly villain, and not in a fun way. Furthermore, both he and the related plotline with the rival hive feel tacked-on. This story has enough going on without them, in my opinion, and their presence is detracting from something I'm otherwise, for the most part, enjoying.
There's also some weirdness with how rapidly the characters' moods shift, but I can forgive that easily enough in the name of seeing more of what you do with Chrysalis's and Twilight's situation.
And despite all that I'm still here, eager to see what happens next. Wishing you the best of luck as you continue to write this.
Hey guys I just got the pitchforks and torches lets go...oh we've forgiven him? Whelp I'll just go and return these
When someone is continuously talking across multiple paragraphs you do not end the paragraph with a quotation mark. You do start the next paragraph with a quotation mark as usual.
If you end a paragraph with a quotation mark in this situation you are implying that a new actor is speaking in the next paragraph. In the case of Shining's monologue this makes it overly complicated to read. Yes, you can infer quite easily that its still Shining speaking, but readers familiar with proper grammar with automatically think, "Ok, new speaker now," and take a moment to correct themselves because of your error.
See example here: http://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide#Miscellaneous-dialogue-punctuation
6826131
6826709
Please tell me you two dont think "stare rape" is an actual thing...
Given he saying he has PSTD maybe a better way to handle Twilight and Shining's fight last chapter is just have him attack Twilight when she enters her changeling form. Because serious 'I like other form better' isn't something somepony in a state of fear would say. Last chapter I saw no sign of a flashback or unreasonable anger. His anger was played as if it was reasonable.
here some examples of what could replace the fight last chapter and work:
Hyper venting and run away from Twilight becuase he back when Chrysalis was controlling him.
Him yelling everything he wants to say to Chrysalis
Him reacting to Twilight's changeling form and trying to keep himself under control but failing.
Things you could have shown before hand to make his reaction make sense (I.e. To foreshadow instead of back explain):
Him worrying about his sister in the hooves of that monster
Him having a reaction to the changeling petrol. I.e. Glaring at them.
Him having a nightmare about being controlled by Chrysalis.
PTSD is never a good thing to deal with...
6823398
More like invaded his every thought and action. Invaded the palace he defends. And invaded his wife (Probably invaded his bed too).
Considering everyone piling on Shining Armor for what he did to Twilight and all the grovelling he later does, it's interesting how Chrysalis apparently never even had to say "I'm sorry."
And no, "I regret" is not the same.
Poor Shining Armor.
And, like that, my amazing theory that "Broad Sword" is more competent than he's been letting on is made less likely...
6867741
oh no, you raped my virgin eyes, oh shit fuck
fucking kill me
8303167
i.ytimg.com/vi/Qn977W9HjWM/hqdefault.jpg
Yup. Called that one... completely reasonable to have PTSD after that, too. That's an experience that would be violating.
6823301
He does that. Whines and stirs up controversy anytime he doesn't like something, until authors either block him, or break under the stress and either do what he wants or cancel their fic/flee the site entirely. Unless they just shut him down by ignoring him and go on doing their thing. That's definitely the best way to handle it.
Okay. So you explained it.
I'm pretty sure it was your Editor's effort though, but nevermind.
You need to remember, that we are not the characters. No need to strike us together with them.
Readers could leave, you know, if they can't accept how things going.
I believe simple paragraph in the last moment would have fixed everything. Something like this:
"Shining armor couldn't believe his ears. She was defending her. Her! Memories flashed before his eyes. Horrible feeling of losing control of himself; helplessness being controlled by the enemy; trampled dignity of the captain of the royal guard; but worst of all, not knowing what happened to the Cadence. And now, his sister, in front of him was defending her, this monster, and they looked so alike. Rage clouded his mind for a second, and he snapped."
Here.
Isn't it much more easy for us to see him insult Twilight in the face?
Not that we agree with anything.
But really, don't make explanations afterwards.
Because any explanation after the deed is an excuse.