Smile Wide

by AtrenGraves

The way things were...

Steel woke slowly...pulling himself up through the dark oblivion of unconsciousness.

“Allllrighty then...screwdrivers, hammer...hammer? Hmmm...”

There was a weight pressing down on him, from every direction...or...maybe it was more a matter of his body having turned to lead...

“How...how does that even begin to work? Honestly. It's a hammer...”

No...no, that wasn't right. This was familiar...it was. He could remember it. What was this feeling. Something...hospital? Yes, the hospital...

“...I'm beginning to wonder if I should've...eheh...should've thought about...ahAHAha! Ha...hehemph...thought this out a little more.”

It had been a hospital hadn't it? A...a surgery! That was it! Anesthesia...Steel groaned, as an attempt to turn his head made his whole neck burn. Why...?

“...”

Shifting sound close by drew his wavering attention, but the effort of his first move had drained what little strength he'd gathered.

“Now this is just so sudden...I'm nowhere near ready yet...time just seems to fly, doesn't it?”

Something prodded his side, like somepony had poked him with a stick.

“Hey...wake up...c'mon...wake up.”

Quiet urging. He focused on the voice, rallying himself for what seemed like an impossible task...

“Wake up!”

He opened his eyes...

“Now Gotosleep!!”

The frying pan bounced off his skull, and the darkness came over him again.

---

Steel woke with a jerk, reality washing over him all at once. A sore ache in his legs, what was probably some serious bruising on his back...and his head. That one was a mind-numbing, throbbing hurt...

“You...oh, you are just going to continue to make things...difficult, aren't you?”

“Wha...?” The Lieutenant coughed on the word, his mouth and throat itching and parched. “Wh-”

“Oh, ah...that's normal. Well...well, I think so, anyway.”

There was something very wrong with the situation. Steel felt a shiver run down his back, painfully aware of it thanks to the excess of pain...

“You know...I didn't really...eheh, expect that to work as well as it did.” The voice continued, dragging his raw nerves over shattered glass and sandpaper. “And I gotta say...I'm disappointed in you 'Guards'.”

Through a monumental application of will, Steel managed to open his eyes, at least in part.

The first thing that caught his attention was the lamp, burning on top of a wooden crate. The light stabbed at him, making the pain in his head infinitely less bearable. He had to close his eyes again almost right away, and fight off a wave of dizziness...

“I mean seriously. First the fires, without a single suspicion of...in-tent.” The speaker clicked its tongue, moving closer, in front of the blinding lamplight. Steel cracked his eyes open again, just a sliver...and he felt a fresh wave of nausea at the sight of the hulking shadow.

“And then...eheheh...and then you just waltz right into my little trap...and BAM!” Something hard slammed into the wood beside his head, sending a shock of pain through his skull...wood...wood, and slightly hollow...no, not hollow. Just thin. On level with the crate, too...a table.

Table. Steel latched onto the new information. Drugged, a strike to the head, and on a table. That was...that was good. More details. Details were good.

“Y'know, I actually thought you might be a challenge.” The voice continued, in that...sickeningly amused, up-and-down way. Reedy and raspy and just wrong. “I mean, have you seen this place? It's crazy! Utterly in-sane! And far, far too perfect. So! I thought to myself, 'Just how...do these strange little things manage it, hmm?', and the answer I came up with...ha! It's high-larious, y'know...now that I've seen you...”

The Lieutenant managed to pry his eyes open again. And he couldn't help that initial shiver of panic, at the sight of that face hovering above him. Dark, beady eyes, garish makeup, and a yellowed smile full of teeth that most definitely weren't made for eating plants. And the scars...the twisted mockery of a grin...

“I thought...that you...you Guards? That you might be something special. To be able to...instill some sort of order where there should only be...Chaos.”

Steel whimpered despite himself, as strange, grasping fingers pulled at his mane, forcing him to try and raise his head along with it.

“Ha! Was I ever wrong about that...”

“Wh...” Steel coughed, fresh pain shooting through him from the exertion. “What...do you...want?”

The creature frowned, the expression exaggerated and mocking. “Who...me?” False disbelief, as it pulled his mane again. “What do I want? What...what makes you think I want anything!?”

When the Lieutenant didn't respond, the thing rolled its eyes and let his head drop again to bounce sharply on the table. “Oh, alright. If you're gonna be such a spoilsport about it.”

Steel blinked as something clicked...and froze, when a sharp point touched against his throat.

“I waaaant...answers.” The thing grinned again, as the point pressed deeper.

“And you're gonna give'em to me.”

---

Brightside heaved a tired sigh, eying the map in front of him. The multitude of colored pins stuck in it, all across the city.

Blue for break-ins. Red for fires. Green for each of the five explosive devices that Haywire had recovered. And yellow for every sighting they could confirm.

No order to it. No greater pattern. It was, by all accounts, random.

And that just didn't sit right with the Corporal.

“Let's run through it again.”

Brass groaned, his head dropping to the table-top with a thunk. “We've gone over it six times, Brightside...”

“Yea, well the LT is still missing, and we haven't gotten anywhere yet. So go over it again.” A brief pause, and he turned to Haywire. “Tell me about the explosives again. You found traces of reagents from the apothecary, right?”

“It's the only place that was broken into, and that had the stock.” Haywire nodded. “They weren't exactly common ingredients. And the reaction wasn't something that just anypony would be able to set up...”

“So the thing knows how to mix potions, we got it the fourth time around.” Brass scoffed. “C'mon, Brightside, we should be out there looking, not in here talking...”

“Lamp oil and glass jars from the residences.” Brightside spoke over him, ignoring the irritated scowl from his colleague. “Along with food, kitchen knives, a few pots and pans...”

“And a wagon.” Bluetip added. “Don't forget the wagon. Those movers made a pretty big stink about it...”

Ironhoof perked up from his slump at the end of the table. “Huh...?”

“Of course, because a couple of inconvenienced civvies is definitely worth our time when the Lieutenant is gone.”

“Jeeze, featherbrain. Think you can set the suck-up aside for a few minutes and actually contribute?”

“I dunno, sparky. Got anything besides lamp oil and party tricks?”

“Uh, hey...”

“Will everyone please calm down a moment so we can listen to the Corporal?”

“Nobody asked you, Stitch.”

“Yea, butt out!”

“Hey!”

The other Guards jumped as Ironhoof slammed a hoof down on the table, sending the far end jolting up off the floor.

It caught Haywire beneath the chin, and mug of lukewarm water was launched into the air to bounce off of Cross Stitch's helmet...before emptying its contents down his neck.

In the stunned silence that followed, Ironhoof shifted from hoof to hoof. Laid his ears back with a sheepish sort of look. “Erm...sorry...but, uh...you mentioned a wagon?”

Bluetip nodded, sparing an almost sympathetic glance at Haywire as she whimpered softly. “Uh, yeah. One've the recent thefts was an old wagon from a moving business. Dinky little thing compared to some of the others they had...”

Ironhoof nodded, scuffing his hoof on the floor. “Right...a moving wagon...kinda like the one the Lieutenant had me move out of the way when we went to investigate the apothecary fire? The first time, I mean...”

Cloudburst's eyes widened. “Yeah...yeah, it was blocking traffic...just sitting there, in the middle of the road. I remember that!”

Cross Stitch frowned as he trotted to Haywire's side, dripping all the way. “It could easily be a coincidence.” He swatted the other unicorn's hoof away from her bleeding lip, a pale green light surrounding the slightly-swollen area a moment later. “Of course, it could also be a very good lead.”

“It's a great lead!” Brass grinned, eyeing the map almost hungrily now. “We go back to the witnesses, see if anyone saw a moving wagon...and then we find the wagon, and the Lieutenant with it!”

Brightside didn't look convinced. “If this thing is as smart as we've been giving it credit for, it could very easily have ditched the wagon by now...”

“There'll still be evidence, though.” Bluetip pointed out, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Something that'll point us in the right direction...” His ears perked up, then, his wings shifting with an almost imperceptible rustle. “Sir, I'd like to take some of the other fliers out to start looking for this thing.”

“There's already a search team out there...”

“We can coordinate with them, then. Let'm know what they're looking for.” Cloudburst pointed out. “It's the best option we got.”

There was a long moment of quiet, during which everypony in the room turned their attention to Brightside. Waiting for his word.

And, after a time, he hung his head. “Yes, fine. Go.” He watched the pair salute and scurry out, sighed again despite himself. “Brass? Next time the Lieutenant decides to go on vacation, you get to call the shots.”

“Heh...I'll hold you to that one.”

“You think they'll find anything?” Haywire murmured, giving her healed lip an experimental poke or two despite Cross Stitch's disapproving frown. “I mean...they've gotta find something, right?”

“They'll find something. Him. They'll find him.” Brightside smiled, the expression strained but genuine. “Definitely.”

Nopony was quite sure what to say, after that.

So there was silence.

---

The cold water jolted him awake, and for that brief moment between oblivion and reality, it offered a comforting numbness against the outside world.

But then the searing lines of fire and pain burnt themselves into his skin again, and he moaned.

“Ah-ah-ah...none of that now...” The laughter that followed hurt almost as much as his wounds did, scraping against his will. “Y'see...you can't hear me if you're not...awake”

The word brought more pain, a new line drawing itself just above a hoof. That knife again.

“And I've still got questions. Questions that you just seem dead set against answering.”

Steel shuddered, doing his best to think about anything other than the debilitating pain in his head, the pain from the cuts, the subtle grinding of bone against bone as his broken hind legs gave an involuntary twitch...

“Hmph...I take it back.” The flat of the knife came to rest just beneath one closed eye, and Steel flinched away instinctively. “You...youuuu are a tough nut to, uh, crack. Ffffriend.”

He wondered, absently, how long it would be until blood loss drove him into unconsciousness. If he would wake up again. The idea sent a jolt of cold fear down his spine, a harsh contrast to the burning pain...

“And I'm a little hurt, to be perrr-fectly honest.” He didn't need to open his eyes to see the pout on the thing's face, felt his gorge rise at the thought. “Because these're...I mean, they're really simple questions! And who knows...eheheh...maybe I'd even let you go!”

“I'll...ugh...” Steel groaned, cracking a smile as he opened one eye. “I'll answer...all th' questions y'like...once yer locked up'n...in Tartarus.”

“Hmm...” The thing looked down at him with a frown, brow scrunched in an awful caricature of deep thought. “That sounds just...terribly ominous.”

It stood to its full height, whirling around to stalk toward its...tools.

“Mmmhmm...you, ah...y'know...I couldn't help but notice your very par-tic-ular lack of, uh..shoes.” It glanced over its shoulder, holding up an old horseshoe. “Now I can't say as I, ah, know a whole lot about horse–ponies! Sorry, right, ponies...”

Steel very nearly whimpered as it turned back again, a hammer gripped in one slim hand, mismatched shoes in the other.

“But it can't be that hard to do this! Am I right? I'm right, aren't I?” It grinned as it sat down again. “Now, these things're...well, I had to go digging for'em, you understand. After all, I couldn't very well just, uh...drop into a shop. No, I had to visit...a few.” It paused, then dug in its coat...

The Lieutenant very nearly passed out again as it held up the nail.

“I, uh...I'm hoping that this'll be long enough.”

Too long, Steel could already tell. But then, that would probably be the point of it.

“Here...c'mere.” He twitched feebly as the thing grabbed up a forehoof, unable to summon the strength to resist the iron grip. “Lemme just...here...”

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts...

Pain.

---

Marigold shifted, her tail flicking back and forth in an obvious display of nerves. “You sure about this, Bluetip?”

“We checked with the moving company, and Ironhoof recognized their logo.” The pegasus nodded, uncharacteristically somber. “There's too many coincidences piling up for it to be completely random.”

“I know that! I'm not...stupid.” She frowned, glancing down the street. “It's just...it's...” After several moments of searching for the word, she shook her head. “Ugh. I dunno. Yea, I'll make sure the others know what to look for.”

“Great.” Bluetip nodded once before spreading his wings wide. “Good luck.”

“You too...” She watched him take to the air, her expression pensive. “Oh Celestia I hope we find him soon...”

A brief pause, and she shook herself out, turning back to the gathered earth-pony Guards. “Um...everypony listen up! We've got a new target...”

---

Cloud Burst snorted, catching another updraft to regain the altitude he'd lost in his dive. He'd be so sure...

“That's six wagons, down,” Bluetip snickered, “and what, three hundred to go?”

“Glad you can joke about it, mister 'lead flier'.” Cloud Burst frowned, squinting at the streets below as he angled his wings for a smooth glide. “I mean, after all, it's just the Lieutenant's life on the line...”

“C'mon, Cloudy, you know I'm just as worried as the others are.”

“Hmph...” The pale pegasus tilted his head, adjusting his path to take him over an alleyway...empty. “I'm going to check with Boggle's group. See if they found anything yet...”

“Don't you think they'd signal us, if that was the case?”

“You've met Boggle, right?”

“...yea, you'd better go check on them.”

“Back in ten.” And with that, Cloud Burst broke off to head further into the city.

Bluetip turned his attention back to the ground, carefully picking out the many different carts and smaller wagons...

That one was just about big enough, and out of the way...he swooped down, landing at a trot.

No, this one was a caravan. Somepony's home. Definitely not the target.

Back into the air. Never stop moving...

---

“Corporal Brightside!”

“Lockstep.” The Corporal turned away from the scattered witness reports, rubbing at his eyes with one hoof. “Have you got something?”

“...I think so.”

That was...unexpected. But it was good news, and good news was the very best sort. “Tell me everything.”

“Uh, yea.” The younger earth-pony nodded, moving up to the table in order to see the map. “A new witness came forward. Apparently she saw a wagon without anypony pulling it on the street the night before last. Fits the description from the moving company.”

“You canvased the area?”

Lockstep nodded. “And they found it. Under a tarp. They're searching nearby buildings, but...nothing so far.” His ears laid back. “We can't be sure he would actually be nearby...”

“It's worth a shot.” Brightside sighed, considering the map, the reports, the endless paperwork...

“Tell me the minute you find anything else.”

“Yes sir...”

He wouldn't do the Lieutenant any good out in the field. Not when the mess was piling up in the office. No, he'd stay...

And he'd wish the others luck.

---

“Mmm, y'know, it makes...me...wonder.”

Steel shuddered, wondering at the...lack of feeling. The way that the molten fire, the breaks and the cuts and the aching in his head, the sharp hurt in his hooves, the muffling itch in his ears...all of it had faded. Like...a clock. Ticking...ticktock...

“This, uh...'Celestia'? I gotta wonder just...how much in-fluence she really has.”

You could get so used to the sound of that clock, that it could almost seem to disappear. Not that it was ever really gone, but you just started to ignore it out of habit.

“It makes so much sense...that there's some sort've goddess playing around with this world.” A manic chuckle. “Much more...bee-lievable than it just sort've springing up this way.”

He'd answered the questions. It hadn't been a conscious choice, but...it had hurt so much. And the questions were so harmless...questions about Celestia, and Luna, and Canterlot...

“Are you even paying attention anymore?” The thing huffed in annoyance, and Steel felt his neck turn, his head rise. But he didn't open his eyes, didn't try and struggle. Didn't do much more than breathe. “Hmm...no.”

The thud of the table against his skull sent a single, slow wave of hurt cutting through the numbness. It was so...tiring. He couldn't help but imagine...sleep. Rest. And would it really be so bad, if he didn't wake up again?

“Y'know...I wish that, uh...that big, snakey guy had bothered to drop me with a video camera. Maybe a...a TV. This would all be soooo much funnier if they could have seen...”

The voice was tiring. The pain was tiring. Thinking was tiring. And Steel was just...done. It couldn't keep him awake any longer.

He welcomed the sleep.

---

The Joker couldn't help but frown as the copper (the armor was made of copper, so it made so much more sense than it had back home) stopped twitching, his shallow breathing the only motion left in him.

“Hmph. Rude.”

He stood, wiping his hands mostly clean on an already-bloodied rag as he rolled all the new ideas around in his head.

“Princesses, dragons, and griffons...oh my.” He paused, winced, and dropped the rag. “Oh, that was utterly terrible. I don't often...eheheh...don't often say it, but I think I need to sleep.”

“Oh, but who has the time!? There's so much left to do! New rules, after all...”

“...hmm...” He frowned, started gathering up the few things he would be taking with him. “I'm thinking I should, uh...make time.” Soon. Definitely.

Still, new things, new ideas...it was exciting! Oh, and potential all around. He had especially appreciated the story of 'Nightmare Moon'. "Now there was a...eheheh...a mare after my own heart.”

Revolution! Anarchy! “Ah...ahahaha!”

A sharp crash, and he choked down the uncontrolled laughter, tugging his coat on as quickly as he could manage...

A surge of heat, as one of his firebombs went off in the doorway. Or, more accurately, out the door. Between the trashcan he'd packed the thing in and the hallway that separated the door and his little workroom, he was hit with little more than hot air...much more fortunate than whatever poor fool had just kicked the door down.

“Time to go.” He chuckled again, stumbling toward the window in the back. “So long, Baltimare!”

Glass shattered, and with that, he was gone.

---

Ironhoof coughed, shaking out what was left of his mane...only to have Cloudburst open a miniature storm cloud over his head.

The last of the...smoldering bits...finally stopped smoking, and the armored earth-pony sighed in relief.

“Cloud Burst, get that thing over here! We need to get inside!” Marigold stomped irritably at the ground, eyeing the burning remains of the door, the veritable carpet of fire that had formed due to whatever had been in the bomb.

Cloud Burst began to move the carefully constructed rain cloud, but a spark of magic in front of his face brought him up short.

Below, Haywire turned her attention from the pegasus to the fire. “You do that, it's just gonna spread! Honestly, you ponies are idiots sometimes!” Her magic spread out, sweeping the fire away...

Marigold and two Guards from Lookout's squad rushed inside, Haywire just behind. Cloud Burst and Bluetip landed themselves close to the door, both of them shifting in obvious discomfort, while further back, Cross Stitch tended to Ironhoof...

“Bluetip!” Marigold came skidding back out, her eyes wide with panic. “Get your flank to the hospital! We need a full response team! Cross Stitch, we need you!”

Bluetip didn't question her, and was in the sky not a second later, Cross Stitch moving past the hyperventilating Marigold at a controlled canter.

“What's happening?” Cloud Burst shifted uncomfortably, looking just about ready to bolt at any moment. “Is the Lieutenant in there? Is he hurt?”

“I...yeah...yeah, he's in there.” Marigold swallowed. “And he's hurt...p-pretty...”

When she trailed off, nopony picked up the line of thought. And it stayed that way until Cross Stitch trotted out...looking sick.

“The Lieutenant is...alive.” He answered the unasked question. “Definitely...alive.”

A sky carriage landed nearby, and a number of medical response unicorns offloaded.

“Inside.” Cross Stitch stepped aside, nudging Marigold out of the way as well. “He'll need blood replenishment and treatments for shock.”

The unicorns trotted inside without a moment's pause.

“...is he gonna be okay?” Marigold's voice was small, and sad.

Cross Stitch looked at her for a moment, turning to Cloud Burst and Ironhoof in turn.

“I think so.” His expression was sad. “And...I'm not sure that's a good thing.”

Nopony said a word after that. Not one, as Steel was taken out on a stretcher.

Everything was different.

And everypony knew it.

Comments

[DavidPony]

the horseshoo thing....ouch

i'd love to see joker vs celestia

[exewon]

oh..... X_X the way you wrote the joker is just horrifying... Exactly as he should be written. Great job! Hope you continue to make us whince in sympathy for the victims as you write out the rest! :D

[AceLord8]

hurry need more Joker

[lucluigi]

Day ??? : It's been more than 3 months that I've been waiting for a new chapter, 3 MONTHS ! No sign of life from the author and no chapter 5. If only HE could say one word to let us KNOW why no chapters are coming out. Is it canceled ? Is it on Hiatus ? No one knows, except HIM.