I love me a good Sombra fic.
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Shining Armor has been turn into a changeling by Queen Chrysalis. Now he must struggle to survive in his new form while trying to keep it a secret from his loved ones. For he fears they may never look at him the same way again.
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Art by aeroyTechyon-X on deviant art.
Made the popular stories 8/15/15. Yeah!
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Could use a bit work in parts, but on the whole a really strong start. I'm quite curius where this will go.
I especially like that bit about despair at no longer being able to feel love even for his wife. Felt really genuine.
6322256
Glad you liked it. Also send me a PM on what needed work.
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I can't believe it's only been over a half hour since the story went up and there is already almost 10 up votes.
Shining Armour becoming a changeling himself? Don't think I've seen that premise before. I'll keep an eye on this.
6322377
I have yet to come across any stories with this kind of premise.
could be wrong but im surprised no one did something like this earlyer
6322443
I know, I was surprised too. The story idea just hit me and would not leave me alone until I wrote it down and posted it.
I haven't even read it, and I love it!
(After reading)
I have now read, Enjoyed, and look forward to more!
this is gonna be good!
I think It has potential to be a good story, and I am looking forward to see more of this soon. But, you will have to work a lot on your Story before it rely start to become good, as there are several flaws. You would also that would need to be fix; its nothing that you can't fix as your story progress in time, but a rewrite may become necessary in the future. For instance, you would need to put more context to the story like how did Shining Armor got captured in the first place? was it during a diplomatic mission, a patrol or was it in his office?
I have a hard time imagining that Shining would have the knowledge much less have the strength to fly away from the hive and know how to transform so soon out of the maturation pod. Also, I would have though Shining would have wandered off in the frozen wastland of the Crystal Empire before finding his way home. In that time that he could have practice with his transformations as well as to come to contemplate with is situation. I am also surprise that his guards ponies would not question at some point that it is indeed Shining they have fond him; assuming that they knew how had kidnap him. Instead, he was was treated as normal, not even ask what happened to him, or try to console him to what happened, and is free to wander in the castle.
You also have trouble characterizing your characters, to give the something to describes there personalty. For instance, Chrysalis just stated the facts of what happened to Shining, we don't know if she was taking pleasure in seeing him rage in frustration over his new form or that she was trying to make him rejoices over it. Instead, she seem indifferent to his predicament, and just let him got like that.
You would need to be more descriptive of the location as we had very little to work with like the hive and such.
6322690
That is quiet the analysis. I guess I should do some editing.
Story has been up for almost 4 hours and has gotten almost 20 up votes. That's as much as I got for my last story after over 2 months and several chapters later. Incredible!
6322389 my personal favorite Under Her Thrall by Kleora
6322886
Interesting, I'll give it a read.
6322900
you may also like Integration by Raugos , It is a great story that gives an interesting interpretation of the inner workings of a changeling hive, if you want it to be as alien as possible, but still manages to make the changeling relatable to the reader and it's told in the point of view of a basic background pony of the show. The audiobook version by Thornquill Audiofics is of excellent quality.
Hope this help
6323069 An excellent read, I also recommend it. There are many different 'canons' (headcanon, that is.) that depict what the hive is like, what kind of queens, etc.
Heck! I'm interested in seeing where this goes.
I like what I read so far. I'm just worried how this will all end because of the 'Tragedy' tag. Also, how long we he be able to keep his ruse up when he can't use his magic like he used to?
The story has been up for 24 hours now, has gotten 30 up votes, only 1 down vote, and almost 200 views. Wow just wow. Thank you everyone. I never aspected this kind of response for a new story of mine especially one with only 1 chapter so far in such a short amount of time.
This HAS TO BE CONTINUED!
6325738
And IT SHALL BE!
uhhh......
Also, you really need to use commas more often.
6327225
I wonder what that slip might mean for the future of this fic? 
6327225
Fixed insect. Can't believe I did not notice that.
6325983 AND I SHALT WAIT!
I give it a week at the most before he blows his cover or Cadence calls reinforcements that will do it for him. I can say this much. The longer this goes, the more than likely what happened to him will not be believed.
Okay, I'm surprised he lasted this long. I'm also surprised Chrysalis didn't confront him to ask how is he 'enjoying' the changes that he is going and taunt him about how much longer he can last. I have a feeling that longer it takes for him to tell the truth, the worse it's going to be for him.
Press the tissue? What tissue? The tissue paper?
love the diary entry's, seems like something he'd do.
6333683
Fixed issue, thank you for pointing that out.
I'm surprised no one has entertained the idea that our main character has been replaced.
Magic: Remastered Edition
Meat? Ah, yes - there can't be a hero turned monster story without raiding the local lifestock farms. And then beat up some peasants upon discovery for them to forget they even saw him. In shiny's case it would be some mind magic.
Poor cows.
6337298
Did you read ch. 3? Because there was no raiding of livestock farms.
6337364 Yes. But I was speaking it as speculation. And personal hopes. Mostly personal hopes.
Ok I decided to re-track chapter 4 and give it an overhaul. I don't how long that will take so be patient. I want you the reader to be as happy with the ending as I am. I still want shining to become Metamorphosis I just need to find a better way of doing it.
6340730 First, spoilers. Second, Cadence doesn't die, or at least she hasn't died as of the current chapter...
6341100
He's referring to chapter 4 which I took down.
6341243
I have decided to extend the story past 4 chapters and go a different a slightly route with it. I have no idea what the new ending will be (since my original got booed) at this time but if anyone has suggestions or how you would like it to end send me a private message and we'll see what happens.
Poor shining.....hope you survive XD
Love it keep them coming! And also...i hope he survives
Aww, revealing himto the public so soon?
Took my suggestion did you now? I like this new predicament, please continue.
If he was smart, he'd either stay put, or hear Chrysalis out and then return anyway.
YAY
that's much better,
Right when he said things were starting to improve.
I suppose our main character was that good of a kisser.
Yay!!! More of your awesome story please
...Aaaaand the disbelief segment begins.
Rather than him going with Chrysalis I would imagine him taking the third option which would be going against everyone...a 'screw everyone' kind of thought process. May be even kidnap a young proto queen and start his own hive to attack both Chrysalis and Cadence.
Chrysalis for changing him, and Cadence for not believing in him.
Seems like a good idea, but the title is just too long. Maybe something like "Shining Metamorphosis" or something along the lines of that. "Shining Armor or King Metamorphosis" just doesn't have a good ring to it. At all.