- Member Since 6th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen Jun 6th, 2023
TheMultiBrony21
Hi, I love making fan-fics, listening to good music, and Derpy Hooves.
TheMultiBrony21
Joined 6th Sep, 2014 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Llamas- · 2.7k words · 121 36 · 8k views
- TheMultiBrony21 · 3.4k words · 67 77 · 5.1k views
- Lunasservant1985 · 5.2k words · 128 20 · 7.5k views
- El Hombre · 2.1k words · 90 20 · 8.8k views
- TheMultiBrony21 · 4.2k words · 34 31 · 2.3k views
- Oldtakufanboy · 4.4k words · 68 14 · 5.6k views
- Kaubel · 9.1k words · 67 13 · 2.2k views
- Brony_Headbanger · 11k words · 34 22 · 1.5k views
Featured In8
Clopfics11,535 stories ·15,806 members
Human in Equestria16,966 stories ·16,804 members
Humans falling in love with ponies.2,410 stories ·6,057 members
Anthropomorphics7,623 stories ·5,012 members
- Fighters for The Right to Publish Stories Involving Characters of the Species Homo Sapiens and Against the Unequal Treatment of Fimfiction Users Through The Introduction of Gold Accounts and Against Any Other Changes To Fimfiction.net Made by Poultron1,220 stories ·466 members
- Co-Author and Editor2,620 stories ·156 members
Human x Anthro group648 stories ·1,276 members
Writer Support942 stories ·254 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.154 seconds
Total duration
924 users online
1,367,655 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
so how dos this "choosing" work?
6319242 Well, as soon as I add the rest of the characters, the reader can choose the pony they have a crush on, however since you can only have 5 characters for a fan-fic on this site, I could only add 8 ponies, The Mane 6, Derpy Hooves(Story already added), Lyra Heartstrings(Story being worked on now), and Octavia Melody.
Guess I'll have to wait until you do Rainbow Dash. But, screw it. I'll fave.
6319256 check you math again, I count nine. and why second person?
6319308 So the reader can place themselves into the story, are you new here or something?
Ok this is moving faster than the speed of light ssslllooowww dddooowwwnnn.
6319349 There's only a couple days difference between you two...
6319308
I highly suggest you revoke this chapter and work on it more. Don't rush. You're going to get disliked to shit.
I mean, 600 words?
600?!
6319371 What? I thought there were more words then that, at least it felt like more words then that when I was writing it anyways.
6319364 I'm not going to, just because she's in the cover art doesn't mean she will be in the story, besides, its the only pic I had that wasn't to explicit.
6319379 Sorry if I come off as rude, dude. But I'd go to at least 1,500 words minimum for each chapter if I was you.
Not saying it's bad, but it could be better.
6319399 Well the short amount of words is my fault, I have a short attention span, so when I'm writing a Fan-fic i get distracted and I don't write alot of words.
6319444 I see. Just take your time. Don't try to rush.
Also, I call Dash.
6319453 Don't worry, Dash'll get her turn in the future, just gotta think of a story for that chapter, part of the problems with my stories is that I don't give them a very good story, I just think of an idea and write it in, that's the reason one of my other fan-fics, "My Date With a Strange Girl" has alot of dislikes.
kinda interested in seeing where this goes, think I'll wait for the rest of the chapters before starting though. Bookmarked and waiting
Aaaalrighty! 3 problems, probably why your getting so many dislikes.
1. RUUUUUUUUUUUSHED.
You rushed that plot incredibly fast. I felt like you just wanted to get this out for the sake of it being out. There should be 3 chapters, 1 for each stage of development. 1. The get-together. This should be lighthearted, innocent, and clean. Also, it should just be kinda cute, with Derpy's friends make jokes, until at the end of the chapter, she is asked out. This should be 1000-3000 words. 2. The Date. Just a casual date, stereotypical if you will. Make sure to give it dynamic, and if you run out of inspiration (have some in the first place) stick to the cliches. This should be 1500-2000 words. Then the Sexy Fun Biz! After the date, they have a little fun. What happens here is entirely up to you.
2, while following the previous instructions fixes this, it just feels like this doc wants to jump in your pants. No plot, other than a simple scenario which is rewarded with sex. This should be extended into the 3 segments described.
3. How foreshadowing should be handled. These are split lives, not times. You choose who is there from the beginning. So, the first chapter to every segment should have a flashback, if you will. How the crush developed, so on and so on.
If you follow these steps followed by a writer's personal style and touch, you should have a really nice story, that people will be begging for more of.
I'm not going to copy and paste my other comment, I'll just let you read it. I'll keep this in tracking, please utilize my advice.
Well written, but also likely to have been written by the Flash. xD
Moves WAAAY too fast, but other than that, you're a pretty good writer!
6319927 Thanks
6320161 Mhm!
6319256 I was going to suggest queen chrysalis.
6320180 Hmm, maybe you could help me make a second person fiction about her, but right now I'm still working on a story for the other chapters in this one.
6320202 Sure thing, just shoot me a PM if you need me to pre read it.
6320229 Will do.
This was well written, but god damn that went by too damn fast. You should probably rewrite this chapter and make it slower and a longer chapter. Again, I still think you have good writing potential.
The basic form of clop here. Needs more details and was very rushed. But I didn't expect anything seeing how short the chapter was initially. So it's decent in my opinion, besides the grammar mistakes.
KO hope your still continuing this cause it's good and who will be next. (but hopefully it's Rainbow Dash).
6320232 KO is the next chapter coming soon.
6482263 Yeah, It's gonna be awhile, I haven't got an idea for it yet.
6676029 KO well how about done doing them in order like the tags, the next should be Octaiva just hope the next chapter will be awesome for your readers.
6676404 Okay, I had thought writing a clop fiction would be easy... I was wrong! It's hard work!
6680516 KO tell me about it took me a few days to come up new chapters and wait for my sister to check them before I can publish then waiting for a few more days, but it's worth it when the chapter is done.
anyway hope the next chapter come soon and keep up the good work. 
Well, I finally got around to making Octavia's story (Thanks to Anstca) hope you like it.
It was pretty good. I liked it
7335764
Thanks! Also thanks for your help!
7335828 You're welcome glad I could help. If you need any more help coming up with ideas let me know, maybe I can help you out again.
Hey buddy you come up with an idea for the next chapter?
7507088 Nope. Not yet... been busy with school and all.
7507088
Rainbow Dash chapter is finished!
I'm getting shivers think about when you get Pinkie in to play. Your story cover says it all.
7630542
That's why she is last on the list.
A little quick for my tastes but it's a good one nice job
The newest chapter is out now! Enjoy!
8081665
Sorry about the wait... I was trying to figure out something when I finally got a idea for it.
Something I noticed from reading the Twilight story is that the narrative is rather short on detail... and especially has a tendency to "tell" rather than "show."
New chapter is here!
Warning: I wrote this while I was low on Ideas so it will be really random!