Rainbow Dash relaxed atop her cloud above Ponyville. She basked in the Sun’s midday glow, enjoying it while she could; rain would be needed soon and then she’d have work to do. Her eyes were closed and she was thinking of incredible daredevil feats to perform in the future.
She hadn’t seen many of her friends yesterday except Pinkie Pie. So the two decided to do some pranking together. Just harmless fun, nothing more. Nopony got hurt so it was all good.
Today though, she just wanted to chill out. Have some downtime to herself. Sadly, it seems she wouldn’t get much of that today.
“Um, Rainbow Dash?” came the soft voice of Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash slowly opened her eyes to see Fluttershy hovering in the air to her left. “Hey Fluttershy.”
She may have been disturbed but it was only Fluttershy, she could deal with her quietness. In addition, she was her best friend so she rarely declined her company.
“Um, can I ask you something? Please?” Fluttershy queried. After yesterday’s talk with Applejack, it became increasingly apparent to the Pegasus that something was terribly wrong with her memories. She slept well last night and woken up peacefully. However, when she thought of her times with Spike her mind still hurt.
“Go ahead.” Rainbow Dash said.
“Please can you think of memories with Spike?” Fluttershy asked sweetly.
Rainbow Dash merely nodded and began to think of the picnic they all had together. It was a nice occasion but that pesky rabbit nearly ate everything...
“Okay I’m remembering.” She said casually.
“Do you feel any discomfort?” Fluttershy peered carefully at her friend.
“Nope.” Rainbow replied bluntly.
“Oh um...think before the picnic, please.” Fluttershy was conflicted. On one hand, if Rainbow Dash didn’t feel any pain then she was fine, which was always great. On the other hand, if that was the case then something was clearly wrong with herself. It looked like a lose-lose situation.
“Uh...sure.” Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow but did as she was asked. Suddenly, sharp pain attacked her mind and she rubbed her head in an attempt to comfort it. She quickly banished her memories from the forefront of her mind. As she did, peace returned to her brain. “That was weird...”
“So you felt it now?” Fluttershy flew a little closer to Rainbow.
“Yeah...I don’t get it though. I’m perfectly healthy.” She shrugged.
“I don’t understand either...” Fluttershy sighed. This was a serious problem. Were Pinkie Pie and Rarity affected too? What about Spike and Twilight? Did they have some part to play in all this?
“Listen Fluttershy.” Rainbow Dash yawned and stretched her limbs, “You better ask Spike about this. He might know what’s going on.”
“I suppose I should but I’ll have to tell the others first.”
“Then you do that. I’ll be sitting here until clouds need moving.” Rainbow wiggled deeper into the softness of her own cloud.
“Oh, okay Rainbow. See you later.” Fluttershy then gracefully flew towards the ground.
“See ya later.” Rainbow said, waving in Fluttershy’s general direction.
~~~
Something’s different.
Princess Celestia lay in her private chambers, alone in her thoughts. Ever since several days ago she felt...different. Different was the only way to describe it.
Past memories now felt like nothing more than mere images. And when she thought of them, sparks of pain crossed her mind. It was as if the mind shocks were repeated warnings to stop remembering.
Recent memories on the other hand, felt far more real. They seemed like experiences and remembering them was no trouble at all. In fact, it was delightful. She could remember colours, sounds and even smells very vibrantly. More so than ever before.
So why the change?
The first day it occurred, she paid no mind to it. It didn’t seem like something to loose sleep over. The second day, it occupied more of her thoughts. Now it troubled her.
She had kept silent about it all; if anypony were to hear that their ruler was having mind issues then...there would be total chaos. The only pony she could confess to was her own sister.
Sighing, she decided to read. She levitated some of Spike’s old letters towards her and spread them out so she could read one at a time with comfort. Reading about Spike’s lessons on friendship would surely give her mind an ease. It was amazing to think that in such a short space of time, her best student had learnt so much. All without her no less. All he needed was her push.
She cast her eyes over Spike’s first letter on friendship. She smiled nostalgically as she remembered that that was the day her sister was cleansed of her dark corruption. Yet her smile began to fade as she read more of the words.
The words were cold and lacked feeling. When she had first read them, she could feel the emotion radiating off them. That’s the sign that tells you when somepony is writing from their heart and soul. But now...Spike’s words were only that: words. Lines formed to make specific patterns.
She glanced at his other letters. The same result. All the sentences seemed dead.
Using her magic once more, she stacked the letters up and shoved them to the side of the room.
It became all too apparent that this was a problem she couldn’t keep to herself anymore.
~~~
“I really don’t know why you’re asking me to do this...” Rarity eyed Fluttershy with suspicion.
“Please, just think.” Fluttershy pleaded.
“Very well.” Rarity looked up at the sky. It reminded her of the time that she had those gorgeous wings. She recalled the feeling of flight. It was simply wonderful...apart from the fact she had nearly died that day. Still, that didn’t deter from the experience too much.
“Nnrgh.” Rarity groaned as her mind began to suffer from the memory pain. She shook her head and ridded herself of the memory. The pain was lifted from her.
“So you felt it too...” Fluttershy concluded.
“Yes, I did...how worrying.” Rarity looked at Fluttershy. She was going to eat at Sugarcube Corner but this revelation had sapped the hunger from her. Concern – even a bit of fear – had replaced it. “What about Pinkie?”
“She’ll feel it too...it’s affecting all of us.” Fluttershy looked down.
“Feel what? Gummy? Nah, he has no teeth remember! Silly billy!” Pinkie had, from out of nowhere, joined in on the conversation. The famous (or infamous for some) alligator was busy chewing on Pinkie’s mane. Apart from that, he didn’t do much other than blink.
Rarity was taken aback by the party pony’s entrance, “I wish you didn’t do that Pinkie...” she muttered.
Fluttershy let out a little squeak, recoiling in shock. She recovered upon seeing her friend. “Um, Pinkie? Remember the time we went to Appleloosa?” Fluttershy asked.
“Duh! Of course I do! They have the best pie fights and-“she stopped mid sentence, putting on a face of discomfort, “Ow! Brain freeze!” she held her head and closed her eyes tightly.
“Stop thinking about that, darling.” Rarity said.
“Ok!” Pinkie jumped into the air, erasing all evidence of hurt. “Well that was weird. Definitely not Pinkie sense...but I haven’t had any ice cream! Maybe it’s something new!”
“It’s new indeed.” Rarity looked at Pinkie. “Listen Pinkie. All of us have these...” she paused, thinking of the words, “...mind spikes. Yes, mind spikes. We feel these when we remember our memories with Spike.”
“Maybe Spike spiked our memories!” Pinkie giggled. Gummy blinked.
“I’m afraid it’s probably more than that...” Fluttershy mumbled.
“It’s about time we confront him about this.” Rarity stated.
“Mhm...”
“Oki loki doki! I’ll take any excuse to see Spikey Wikey!” Pinkie cheered.
“How about tomorrow then, girls? We’ll all see him and ask.” Rarity looked between her friends.
“Sounds goody!”
“Um sure...”
“Then consider it sett-“Rarity frowned, pausing. “Pinkie. Get Gummy out of my mane.” She said with a deadly seriousness.
This chapter frustrated me. A lot.
It's vital for pacing but as you can see, it's short. Really short in comparison to the other chapters. I'm deeply sorry about that but there are a few reasons why it is short:
1. It's the calm before the storm. Expect greater, bigger things in the next chapter. I promise you this.
2. I hate filler. As far as I'm concerned, if it doesn't add anything to the story, it's filler and a waste of the reader's time. This chapter may be short but it (hopefully) doesn't waste any of you time on unimportant details.
I suppose this happens in every fanfic: a chapter that just really annoys you. Again, I apologize to you all if you don't like it.
Regardless, the next chapter I'm feeling a whole lot more positive about! I hope you'll enjoy that one a lot more than this.
Thanks for reading~
I can't help but feel that Spike is gonna get the guilotine for just wishing for friends... I mean sure he didn't know Twilight would end up like how she is now, but Twilight should have known better and given Spike more attention not only as a friend, but as a mother-figure too... Atleast Spike is being responsible with his actions and trying to make 'little' Twilight more social and all, but 'old' Twilight just threw her heads in the books and being blind to the signs of Spike's depression... in the end, "I told you so Twilight", just doesn't quite say it...
742777 I'm with you man. Spike is in the middle of a shit storm over a understandable wish. Yet, he acts so much more responsible about it then anyone else ever seems to.
742777
Well, it's a fairly classic childish wish that he made, one based on the assumption that being older and not having anyone who can tell you what to do means that you live a life free of responsibility and obligation. Twilight's life certainly wasn't all picnics while Spike cleaned the library. She spent a considerable amount of time on her magical and other studies, building and maintaining her friendships, organizing and helping out the town in general and risking health, life and sanity to protect Equestria. Right now he's basking in the results of all of that work that she did and enjoying the credit for it.
It's to his credit that he feels guilty for how messed up Twilight is in this alternate world he's wished up, but even if filly Twilight had been as well adjusted as Spike, it still wouldn't have been right for him to take all of the results of her struggles and labors for his own.
All that said, it's not like he knew the wish would come true, or had even given it some rational consideration before he made it, so you have to feel for the poor guy. And he was obviously unhappy enough to make the wish in the first place, which is something you hope Twilight would address.
I can tell that everyone is going to be so pissed at Spike when they learn what he did.
742965
Still Twilight should learn that family and friends come before any studies... hopefully after this she will realize this... and yes Spike did make a stupid wish (but it was all in the name of just being recognized as someone important, and not as a tool) but Twilight was the one who created the situation (by neglecting his needs in the name of new friendship relationships and studies)... so both have done wrong, but atleast Spike is trying to rectify his mistake... where as Twilight is too proud to even see that she has made a terrible mistake (neglecting her own son, etc)
Hey' spike why does it hurt to remember things related to you?
Uh...Damnitdamnitdamnit Because i'm awesome?
...
"Okie-dokie-lokie!"
"Oh!"
"No Wonder!"
"Of Course!"
"So simple!"
surely give her mind an ease.
I believe the phrase is 'surely put her mind at ease'.
Everybody going on about how 'childish' Spike's wish was:
NEWS FLASH: HE'S A CHILD
Gummy, you have been warned...
I certainly hope everypony doesn't bash on Spike for what he did. I hope they listen to why he did this and that he never expected this at all. He goes on to explain that if he finds the next shooting star, then he can wish everything back to normal and nopony remembers this. I really hope they'll all listen to reason and not hurt Spike for wanting more fun in his life.
Congrats on being a Featured story, it was certainly an interesting story about Spike and his wish. I'm kind of worried about what the rest of the ponies will do to Spike when they find out that it was his wish. Will they give him the biggest "what the hay hero?" speech to Spike about his wish or will they understand his desire to fix things and worry about the cosequences of his wish later once everything is fixed. Either way this is happening exactly like what Vinyl Scratch was talking about.
743063
Too proud? I doubt hubris can be considered one of her faults. Maybe arrogance, but the point is, he never voiced his concerns to her. I bet she would have acted, as it seems quite out of character for her to just ignore/deny him if he had actually talked to her about it.
Frankly, they both screwed up, and the magical star didn't help matters. How many of us have to sit around thinking of the real repercussions of a wish before we idly wish on a star? Can't really blame him for that, it's not like he knew it was going to happen.
Short N Sweet. Filler sucks.
Clearly the reset button will be in play here, but the question is how...
Again, still quite good.
742626 fillers ain't that bad, personality it adds more for those who care about the story.
The last line made me lol
Anyway, I don't much like writing filler, but I have too much time and no life to consider it a waste
742626
I'm going to go out on the limb and agree with you that this chapter wasn't one of your best (And no, you can't give terrible writing an excuse; it ignores the issue). The main problem I see here is that it feels as though you're trying to jump straight to the end of this tale. Your statement that says you dislike filler cannot apply to literature, especially an intricate plot such as this. What you should have done was divide the point between the ending and the start into little character arcs, or exposition arcs, to assist with your storytelling. The pacing in the previous chapters was good enough to be satisfied with, but between the last chapter and this one, it feels to a reader and some members of the audience that you just want the story over and done with; that you've lost the touch to be bothered enough with it story and character-wise.
Again, I'm going to say that it's not one of your better entries into this story, but I feel it's better to say so with valid reason than blindly praise something just for the encouragement. I wish you good luck with anymore forays you have into the ponydom and hope you;re able to turn this story around somehow.
746893
Thanks for taking the time to write that, it's very much appreciated and has been taken on board.
I pretty much agree with your views to be honest. Maybe I should have done individual character arcs. The reason I didn't is because I thought people would get bored with repetition, seems not, I suppose. Unfortunately I can't turn back time since I'm not Doctor Whooves. I'm still kind of new at this, so I expected lessons to be learnt here.
I think I'll change my writing schedule to solely weekends. College tires me out a little so I'm not thinking as well as I could be. Does this mean that chapters will come out slower? Sadly yes but they'll probably be better for it.
Regardless, it's not over yet! Ending in the next chapter would be a stupid idea, quite frankly.
oh god poor twi... and... cant even imagine if this would really of happend ponies are suppoes to make me smile not cry good job making flutter cry
Short can be alright. The first two chapters of my story were short, and I think that's for the best.
742777 I don't really think this is fair. The only reason Spike knew something was wrong with filly Twi is because she actively showed signs of how hard her life was (very obvious signs at that). Spike said nothing about his issues, and even brushed off her questions about whether or not he was okay. In short, she could have done something about it if Spike had let her. Which is not to say this is all Spike's fault (he probably was afraid Twi would be upset with him for having problems or some such scenario not unlike Owl's Well That Ends Well or The Crystal Empire), nor should the other ponies blame him for it. Rather, instead of playing the blame game between Spike or Twilight, the two should try recognize a problem neither of them intended to occur and try to solve it.
743968>>2643179 My question is,how come Twilight didn't make time for Spike in the first place?Sure Spike didn't voice his concerns,but if Twilight can make time for her other friends,shouldn't she be able to make time for her longest friend?Spike doesn't need to voice his concerns for Twilight to just say "Hey,Spike!You wanna spend some time together?" She should already know since he is her friend.
I think to mediate the issues with this chapter (mainly length and pacing and amount of plot-moving content) there could have been a scene between spike and twilight just hanging out or something and calling back to a similar yet mirrored interaction from before the wish. that way it's still relevant to the plot and therefore not filler, but not really feeling hamfisted or anything. it's still not a bad chapter, just overshadowed by the others.