Strains
Twilight paced back and forth in front of the assembled guards that stood outside of her home. Snow fell from the sky, coating the ground in a thick layer of the fluff that rose a few inches above her hooves. Twenty-four royal guards stood in front of her in formation, their gaze locked on some indeterminate point off in the distance. Twilight idly wondered how many of these guards had been under Shining’s command before his wedding. Shaking her head to rid herself of the random thoughts, Twilight cleared her throat and centered herself in front of the guards.
“I’m sure some of you have been made aware of the situation,” she said, her voice strong and with purpose. Twilight was grateful that her fear of Scootaloo being in danger wasn’t making her sound weak, for this certainly wasn’t the time for that. “But I will go over it so that we all may be on the same page.”
Rainbow had left minutes before the guards had shown up, saying that she was going to fly a grid pattern over Ponyville and the surrounding area. She had promised that she would return every fifteen minutes with a status update once she had gotten the rest of their friends involved in the search.
“From what I know, Scootaloo’s biological parents escaped from prison a few days ago. Their location is unknown, and nopony has reported seeing them in the time that they have escaped. I have a pretty good feeling that they have returned to Ponyville, and that is why the Princesses have sent you here. You shall stay under my command until Scootaloo’s parents are apprehended and thrown back into prison.” She looked at the guards standing stock still before her. Oh, right! “Is… is that understood?” Twilight asked tentatively.
“Ma’am, yes ma’am!” twenty-four guards shouted in unison.
Twilight smiled. “Perfect.” She resumed pacing back and forth, muttering to herself as she assembled her thoughts. Come on, Rainbow... Where are you? She cast her gaze to the cloudy sky, looking all over the place as she searched for that familiar rainbow trail that she had come to love so dearly. She felt the guards’ eyes on her, but she didn’t care.
“Now, I don’t believe that Scootaloo’s old parents would go back to their old house. If I was on the run, that’d be the first place that guards would look for me, so it stands to reason that they wouldn’t be so careless.” Even the dumbest of ponies can’t be so stupid... Twilight felt a rather annoying tingle on the back of her head. She instinctively flicked her mane trying to throw the feeling off, but it persisted.
With an irritated roll of her eyes, she rubbed the back of her head and thankfully, it went away. Clearing her throat once more, Twilight looked back at the guards and sat in front of them, wincing as the snow quickly sapped the warmth from her rear. A shiver ran down her back, but she steeled herself, knowing that she would get to go back inside to grab something to warm herself up with soon. “I want you to break up into search teams of four members each. Once Rainbow Dash comes back, we will determine the best area for you to search based on what she hasn’t covered yet.”
“Ma’am?” one of the guards spoke up.
“Yes?” Twilight recognized him as the lieutenant based on his fancier armor. This guard outranked the rest of the guards, and was one step below her in command of the present troops.
“Do you have any photographs of Scootaloo? I think our mission would go much more smoothly if we knew who we were looking for.”
Twilight blinked. Wow... how did I forget about that? “...Right. One moment.” She teleported into Rainbow’s bedroom and glanced about, smiling as the warmth abolished the cold from her coat. A few pictures of Rainbow and Scootaloo hung on the wall, so with a quick spell, she snatched a random one and teleported back outside. A small part of her felt hurt that Rainbow didn’t have any pictures of her, but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind for another time. Still holding the picture in her magic, she levitated it to the lieutenant. “Here. Pass it around.”
The sound of wings flapping behind her caught her attention. Silently praying that Rainbow had found Scootaloo, she looked over her shoulder to find her marefriend alone. Her shoulders slumping down in disappointment, she offered a weak smile at Rainbow. “Any luck, Dash?”
Rainbow frowned and swiped at the snow beneath her. “No,” she groaned. “I flew over the eastern parts of Ponyville plus Sweet Apple Acres and I didn’t see a trace of her. This stupid snow covered up her tracks before I could pick up her trail.”
Twilight felt hurt that Rainbow didn’t return her smile. “I’m sure we’ll find her,” she said softly. Twilight waited several seconds for Rainbow to respond, but she never did. Looking back at the guards, she said, “Since an aerial survey failed to turn up any results, I want you all to commence the ground search. Both Rainbow Dash and I will stay here and work on managing this—”
Rainbow scoffed and looked at Twilight incredulously. “You kidding?” She poked Twilight in the chest, pushing her back a couple steps. “There’s no way that I’m gonna stay here while Scootaloo’s in danger!” she yelled.
Twilight’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She stepped back, her eyes scrutinizing Rainbow’s face, searching for why she was acting so rudely to her. Twilight understood this was a rather stressful situation, but shoving her in front of all the guards was definitely uncalled for. She opened her mouth, but Rainbow flew away before she could utter a single word.
Worry gnawed at her heart. She desperately wanted to talk to Rainbow, but a small part of her mind reminded her that finding Scootaloo should be her top priority now. There’d be time for talking later.
With a sigh, Twilight looked at the guards and barked, “Dismissed! I want reports on your progress every half hour!” And with that, she turned and walked back inside the library. As soon as the door shut behind her, she collapsed to the floor, crying. It was all too much for her to bear. With Scootaloo running away without giving them a chance to explain, and with Rainbow being so standoffish... it felt like she was losing control.
Twilight couldn’t imagine what was going through Rainbow’s mind to make her act so cold towards her. It was the first time she had ever gotten angry at her, and just like Scootaloo, Rainbow had left before Twilight could try to figure things out. She hated feeling so helpless, but more so, she felt even worse for betraying Scootaloo’s trust. Tears streamed down her face as she curled up into a ball on the floor of the library. With everything going on, she needed Rainbow’s support now more than ever.
“Tw-Twilight?” She looked up to find Spike standing before her, biting his lower lip. “Is Scootaloo alright?”
“I don’t know, Spike...” Twilight lifted her head up off of the floor only to have Spike rush forward and wrap his arms around her neck. She wiped the tears from her face and wrapped her wings around him, letting a shaky smile form on her face.
“Well... no news is better than bad news.” Spike let go of her and nuzzled her neck, making Twilight smile a little bit. “Come on, let’s figure this thing out, alright? We got this!”
Twilight smiled at her number one assistant. She loved how he could always reassure her and talk some sense into her whenever she lost it. “Okay,” she said with a shaky smile. “Let’s do this.” As she stood up, she felt that annoying tingling sensation on the back of her head again. This time, it was much stronger than before. Her hoof snapped up to the back of her head to try to rub it away, but as much as she tried to make it disappear, it would not go away.
Twilight gasped. Her gaze became unfocused and her ears fell flat on her head. “How could I not have known...” she muttered. Twilight blinked a few times, then turned her head slowly to look at Spike.
“Uh... Twilight?” Spike asked with a cocked eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything, Spike, but that’s not the problem...” Twilight shook her head. She turned around and darted back outside, hoping some of the guards were still within sight. Her head whipped around as she peered through the falling snow for a few seconds before she saw a group of guards walking towards the center of town. “Guards! Come back!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. Much to her relief, the guards heard her and dashed back to her in mere moments.
“What is it, your highness?” one of them asked.
“I know where Scootaloo is! She’s at—”
“How could you possibly know where she is?” one of the guards asked before another one nudged him with a hoof. “M-my apologies, Princess Twilight. I did not mean for my question to sound so rude, and—”
“It’s fine,” Twilight snapped at him. She looked at each one of them in turn before speaking up again. “Back when I had taken Scootaloo out of her parents’ custody with Rainbow Dash, I had placed a tripwire spell around the property to alert me if anyone tried to leave, or...” She cast her gaze to the ground, ashamed that she didn’t come to this conclusion fast enough. “If anyone walked onto the property. I felt the tickling sensation twice, the first one being weaker than the second. If I remember correctly, the weaker one was for one pony, which I believe to be Scootaloo, and the stronger one to be her parents.”
“So that means that...”
“Yes, that they’re back at their old house. Hang on, I’m going to teleport us there.” Twilight lit her horn and took a deep breath. She concentrated on focusing her magic on each of the stallions in front of her, then teleported the five of them away in a flash of purple light.
Rainbow flew as fast as she could through the falling snow. It impaired her vision, and though while it was not as bad as when she had found Scootaloo below her house those few months ago, it still limited her sight to less than one hundred feet.
It was absolutely freezing and the tips of her hooves were so cold that they had started to hurt a while ago, but Rainbow would not rest until Scootaloo was safe and unharmed in her grasp. She meant the world and more to her. Rainbow silently swore to herself that she’d beat Scootaloo’s parents to Tartarus and back if they so much as laid a hoof on her.
Through the haze, Rainbow spotted two figures trotting away from town on the road leading towards Scootaloo’s old house. Her parents! Her eyes going wide and her heart rate increasing, she prepared herself for a fight. She put on another burst of speed and dove down, speeding inches just above the road. Though just as she was about to hit them and knock them off their hooves, she recognized the two ponies as Bon Bon and Lyra.
Panic surged through her. She was going much too fast to slow down in time, and in the split-second she had before she hit them, she folded her right wing to her side and twisted away, barely missing the two ponies. She heard them cry out in alarm before she slammed into the ground, the impact knocking all the breath from her lungs. Pain burst from the wing that Rainbow landed on as she slid along the ground, and while the snow lessened the impact, it still was enough to cause her a good deal of harm.
Rainbow struggled to pull in air as she lay in the snow. It sapped the warmth from her fur, sending a shiver down her back. Bon Bon and Lyra rushed to her side moments later, looks of concern and shock strewn across their faces.
“Rainbow! Are you okay?” Lyra asked as she knelt down beside her.
Rainbow nodded back and gingerly rolled onto her belly, tears forming in her eyes. She looked away and wiped her eyes with a hoof to try and keep up her tough facade. Her left wing was fine, but her right wing was missing a few feathers. She groaned as she flexed her wing. Even though it wasn’t broken, and even though it hurt a great deal, it felt like she’d still be able to use it to fly.
Finally able to breathe, Rainbow took a few deep breaths to fill her lungs. Her heart rate slowed down and the pain in her wing died down a bit. She knew her shoulder was going to bruise up, and as she tensed her muscles, she felt a few cuts along her shoulder. Thankfully, they were small enough that they didn’t show through her coat.
“What the heck were you thinking, flying so close to us like that?” Bon Bon demanded. “You could have hurt us!”
“Yeah, sorry about that, guys.” Rainbow flicked her mane out of her face and glanced up at them. “Long story short, you remember that filly that Twilight and I adopted? She ran away and her parents somehow escaped from prison a few days ago.”
Lyra’s mouth formed a small circle in surprise. “And you thought that we were them?” Lyra asked.
Rainbow nodded. “I’m sorry I scared you like that, but I really need to keep looking for Scootaloo.” She lifted herself off the ground and flapped her damaged wing tentatively. “Listen, if you find her, bring her back to Twilight’s house immediately. Okay?” She lifted herself off the ground and hovered in front of the two.
“Yeah, you got it, Rainbow,” Lyra said.
“Yeah, good luck!” Bon Bon chipped in, her tone lighter and friendlier than the demanding one she had previously used.
Rainbow flew away, shaking her head. How could I have been so stupid? she thought as she flew away from town. Rainbow looked straight ahead just in time to see a soft purple flash way off in the distance. She felt her heart sink into her stomach as she realized that that was where Scootaloo’s old house was. As a pit of worry grew within her, she flapped her wings as hard as she could, propelling her through the wintery cold.
She landed to see the first of the royal guards trot kick the door in. Rainbow barely noticed the sign condemning the building as she ran inside. The guards all whipped around to face what they assumed was a threat but they calmed down as they recognized her. Before she could ask them why they were here, Rainbow heard Twilight gasp in shock from upstairs.
Her mind focused in on one thing: Scootaloo. She galloped upstairs and ran to Scootaloo’s old bedroom, dreading what she might find inside. The first thing she saw was the splintered door then the shattered window. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw bloodstains on the broken glass.
Rainbow turned and looked down to where Twilight stood. She saw a familiar tuft of purple tail, blocked by Twilight’s body. Rainbow walked up to Twilight and saw Scootaloo’s limp figure lying near the foot of her old bed. She bit her lip and although she didn’t want her worst fears confirmed, she had to know.
She gingerly walked up to Scootaloo and nudged her still body with her snout. She touched her chin to Scootaloo’s neck to try and feel her pulse and to see if she was still breathing. Rainbow didn’t feel any sort of pulse, but she did feel Scootaloo’s neck rise and fall by just a very small amount.
Before she knew what was happening, Scootaloo’s room disappeared and was replaced by the lobby of the Ponyville Hospital. Scootaloo floated in Twilight’s magical grasp, still unconscious.
“I need help! This is an emergency!” Twilight yelled, getting the nurse’s attention behind the desk. She saw her hit a button next to her, then she stood up and grabbed a nearby gurney.
“Oh no, not this sweet little filly again,” she murmured. The nurse motioned for Twilight to lay Scootaloo on the gurney just as a doctor galloped towards them from down the hallway.
“What do we have, nurse?” the doctor asked as he pulled on his white coat.
“It’s the same filly from a while back, doctor.” The nurse trotted behind the desk and went through a file cabinet until she pulled out a manila folder, similar to the one that Twilight had back home. “It looks to be similar to the same injuries as before, but we won’t be able to see the extent of the damage done until we can move her into the emergency room!” She gave the folder to the doctor and pushed the gurney down the hallway.
“Alright. Move her into room two,” the doctor ordered. He followed the nurse down the hallway, using his magic to push the gurney. They disappeared around the corner a few moments later, the sound of a door slamming shut, momentarily shocking Twilight.
“Oh, Scootaloo...” Rainbow moaned as she sat down. She felt numb all over. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes and her stomach twisted itself into knots. She nearly threw up, but she swallowed what came up. Her wings drooped down to the floor and her ears flicked back as she tried to hold back her tears. Alas, she was not strong enough.
As the tears began to stream down her face, she felt Twilight move closer to her. She heard a feathery rustle, then felt Twilight pull her into a hug with her wing. Rainbow let loose and cried into Twilight’s shoulder, not caring about what the ponies around them thought about her.
“I hope that we weren’t too late…” Rainbow heard Twilight murmur. She pushed Twilight’s wing off of her and threw on her tough front. “What do you mean, you hope that we aren’t too late?!” Rainbow demanded. “What do you know, Twilight?!” Rainbow’s query wasn’t a question but a demand.
“I… it’s pretty bad, Dash. I’d really rather not say…”
“I don’t care! Just tell me!”
"Please don’t make me...” she murmured. I really don’t want to think about what happened to Scootaloo right now... Tears formed in the corners of Twilight’s eyes. She looked aside, but Rainbow roughly pulled her head back up with a hoof. Rainbow’s gaze was unforgiving and cold, making Twilight wilt before her.
“Tell me, Twilight!”
Twilight stayed silent, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared into Rainbow’s eyes, silently pleading with her. She shook her head and saw Dash’s expression worsen. “Rainbow, let’s… can we just see how she’s doing?”
Rainbow didn’t respond, but she did start walking down the hall. Twilight didn’t want to push the issue, choosing to stay silent as she followed her down the hallway. After wiping the tears from her eyes, Twilight made her way to stand beside Rainbow just outside of the emergency room doors.
They peered through the circular windows each door had and watched as those inside did their job. A few minutes passed in silence as the doctors and nurses hooked Scootaloo up to the machines inside. A steady beeping noise showed that her heart was still beating, but it wasn’t sounding off as fast as it should be.
“She’s lost a lot of blood, Rainbow…” Twilight finally said, her voice soft yet full of pain. She saw Rainbow look at her out of the corner of her eye. “Both of her wings are broken, feathers are missing, and... and she has numerous cuts on her forelegs.”
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah, I saw blood on the shards of her broken win—”
“Please let me finish, Dash. This is taking a lot for me to say this.” Twilight took a deep, shuddering breath and let it out slowly. “I saw a lot of bruises on her neck and face. She’s got one heck of a black eye, and—”
“We’re losing her!” Twilight heard one of the nurses yell from inside. No! Her ears flicked back as she watched on in horror, everything feeling like it was going in slow motion. The sound of the heart rate machine stopped beeping and changed to a loud and dull monotone sound.
“Her heart’s stopped! Somepony get the crash cart!” the doctor yelled. A nearby nurse rushed it over and the doctor lit his horn to grab the defibrillator paddles. “Clear!” he yelled. Once everypony stepped back, he placed the paddles on Scootaloo’s chest and zapped her once.
Nothing changed. The heart rate monitor kept giving off that dull monotone.
“Alright, let’s try again!” The doctor rubbed the paddles together and yelled, “Clear!” once more. He zapped Scootaloo’s limp form again, but nothing changed.
“No…” Twilight heard Rainbow mutter beside her. She turned to look at Rainbow, reassuring words on the tip of her tongue, only to have Rainbow scream, “No!” at the top of her lungs. Rainbow’s breaths came in long, shaky bursts and Twilight could have sworn she heard her grinding her teeth. She lifted her hoof to try and break Rainbow out of her fit of rage, but Rainbow kicked the wall, creating a hole large enough for her to crawl through. Rainbow turned and ran down the hall, leaving Twilight alone.
Twilight cast a glance back into the emergency room, catching the doctor lay the paddles on Scootaloo’s chest one more time. She watched him zap her yet again, but this time, the heart rate monitor stopped that horrible tone and started beeping normally again. Tears of joy sprang to her eyes, and she turned around to yell down the hallway. “R-Rainbow! Come ba-hack!” she choked out. All she got was an annoyed flick from Rainbow’s tail as she galloped down the hallway.
After ensuring that Scootaloo’s heart was still beating, Twilight teleported outside and saw Rainbow spreading her wings as she ran down the sidewalk. The sudden change in temperature made her falter slightly, but she still made herself run at Rainbow. She knew there’d be no way she could ever catch her if she got into the air, so she did the first thing that popped into her mind, which also happened to be the thing that Rainbow hated most.
Twilight bit down hard on Rainbow’s tail right as she jumped into the air.
Rainbow flapped her wings, but instead of speeding away, pain erupted from the base of her tail. She shot a glance over her shoulder to see the end of her tail caught in Twilight’s mouth. She felt her eyes tear up from the unexpected pain, but she flapped harder and harder, trying to free herself.
“Let go, Twilight!” she yelled at her. Rainbow felt Twilight shake her head and mumble something, but she didn’t care what she had to say right now. She had to find Scootaloo’s parents and do to them what they did to her sweet little filly.
Her daughter.
In her fit of blind rage, Rainbow flailed about, trying desperately to rip her tail from Twilight’s mouth. One of her rear hooves connected with the side of Twilight’s face, making her let go of her tail with a pained yelp.
Twilight collapsed to the snowy ground in a heap, pain erupting from the side of her face. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks and her ears lay flat on her head. She curled up into a ball as she sobbed, crying her heart out for all to hear.
Everything that could have gone wrong had gone wrong. Scootaloo was fighting for her life in the hospital, her once-perfect relationship with Rainbow Dash was on the rocks, and Scootaloo’s parents were still on the loose. Twilight cried, not only because her head hurt from where her marefriend had struck her, but from all of the emotional stress that Rainbow had put her through.
Twilight had never felt more alone and helpless in her life.
She covered her face with her hooves as sobs wracked her body. The snow sapped what little warmth she had left, leaving her feeling like an ice cube.
Rainbow immediately regretted what she had done. Her blinding rage subsided as soon as she heard Twilight cry out in pain. She landed beside Twilight and sat down, an uncertain hoof raised. Rainbow bit her lip, trying to figure out what to do. She whimpered softly, then gently ran a hoof through Twilight’s mane.
“I’m so sorry, Twilight...” she murmured. “I never meant to hurt you.” Tears sprang to her eyes as she spoke. “It’s just... you know how it is! I wanted to go and get those lousy excuses for ponies and, and you tried to stop me! I couldn’t let that happen, and...” she trailed off, realizing exactly how selfish that made her sound. “No. What I did was wrong, Twilight. I honestly and truly never meant to hit you, and knowing that I hurt you makes me sick to my stomach.” She waited for Twilight to respond, but she just kept on crying. Even though it pained her immensely, Rainbow whispered, “With Scootaloo g-gone, and after all of this, I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore...”
Twilight’s sobs died down. “N-no...” Twilight muttered. She lifted her head to look at Rainbow, her tears feeling like they were freezing on her face. “Rainbow, you pushed me away when I needed you the most!” she said angrily as she climbed to her hooves. “Why?! How could you do that to me?! I was as hurt as you were, and how could you not have seen how much I was hurting inside?!” Tears streamed down her face as she stared into Rainbow’s eyes. “And why would you think kicking me in the face was a good idea?” Several seconds passed in silence before she spoke up again. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”
This time, Rainbow wilted before Twilight. She looked down at the ground and flicked her tail around her flank, ignoring the cold snow sapping her body’s warmth. Rainbow looked back up at Twilight and bit her cheek. She hesitantly looked up into Twilight’s eyes and saw nothing but a fiery rage. Glancing off to the side, her ears flicked back as she felt her heart beat faster. Rainbow wiped the tears from her eyes, swallowed, then cleared her throat before looking back up.
“Uh... I’m sorry?” she asked weakly.
Twilight’s face scrunched up. “Really? All you have to say is you’re sorry? Gah!” She rolled her eyes and sat down, angrily staring at Rainbow. Twilight took a deep breath. “I can’t believe you right now...”
“Twilight, listen—”
“No, you listen!” Twilight huffed. “The doctors brought Scootaloo back after you left. If you had waited to see what happened like a normal pony, you would have seen that she’s alright, but instead, you thought it was better to lose your mind and kick a hole in the wall!”
“Twilight, stop!” Rainbow waved her forelegs in front of her. “She’s alive?!”
“Yes, I literally just said that! Weren’t you listening?” Twilight snapped at Rainbow. “You should go check up on her and see how she’s doing.” She stood up and flicked her tail to get rid of the snow on it, then started trotting away from the hospital.
“W-what about you?” Rainbow asked, her voice soft and full of pain. “Don’t you want to be there when Scootaloo wakes up?”
Twilight stopped, but didn’t look back. “Yes, I do, but I don’t know when that’ll be. Besides, I have to make sure Spike is doing okay.” She began her trek back into town with a heavy heart, leaving Rainbow standing alone in the snow.
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I've been waiting for this story for such a long time! I'm so glad it's getting back on track, it seriously felt like years without my daily dose of snuggles and family drama.
Great job, as always.
In all honesty, I find this outcome is a vast improvement. It just makes verdeckt sense for Rainbow as a parent to snap like that and maybe do something she'll regret. It creates a certain tension and opens the story up for more possible development.
I swear to god Ive read this chapter before...did you repost this or something?
...I think I preferred the old ending...
6630677 The old ending was flawed and resolved most of the emotional conflict much too soon.
6630675 It's quite obvious you don't pay attention to the blog posts that I've written about this story.
better i like this version more twilight isnt a door mat
6630691
Yeah...I liked that the conflict was resolved...
6630692 I never get any alerts about blogs else I would.
The Feels are strong in this one.........
Seriously, though, great chapter, Abyss. I'm glad that you went back and redid some things, as this is very emotional and impactful.
(Is that last one even a word? Guess it is now.)
Anyway, can't wait til you have the next chapter up! Looks like our two lovebirds are in for quite the storm!
And I don't mean the one going on in the story.
LOVING THIS!!!! Can't wait for next chapter.
6630692
To be fair, most people don't read blog posts on specific stories.
6630700 Are you following me and/or do you have the story favorited?
6630712 Both unless it doesnt email blog alerts.
Scootaloo will get through this but I have a question, when are those brainless tumors parents of hers gonna ROT IN TARTARUS pay for their sins/crimes?
The Twisted-Mind demands justice!
6630711 Well then, it is their loss.
6630692 Well of course not. We're here for the story. Not for you or whatever you blog about. So maybe leave an Author's note in the beginning or the end or something to let us know something changed or what not?
6630743
Telling an author that you're here for the story and not them is probably one of the most insulting things I've heard on this site.
Well done.
6630766 Is it insulting if it's true? How many people come to Fimfiction to read a story, also Watches every single author for all those stories and reads all of the author's blog posts?
It's not insulting because we come here to read the STORIES. Not to learn about the Author. And while some people could want to learn about the Author and what their blogging, it's a minority of people and not the main reason for the site.
That's why I asked if he could post an Author's Note with the information, preferably at the top. Because not everyone watches Authors and read Blog posts. But everyone is reading the story, and if the Author Note is at the top, it will be the first thing they see when reading. So they will know what is going on with the Chapter, and only have themselves to blame if they skim or skip over it and then get lost at any changes made.
6630796
It seems you didn't even remotely understand my comment, nor how your own was interpreted. Let this be the end of the comment thread, I don't care to start a pointless flame war.
6630743
So, in other words... Authors are just mindless drones, here to crank out stories for your entertainment.
6630743
i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/015/652/230114_908223010.png
6630743 So you not only insult me, but you blatantly disregard the important blog posts that I've written for this story detailing exactly what you need to know about the changes I made, then demand that I go out of my way to suit your needs?
Lol.
6630796
Yes it is still insulting if it's true. You don't have to follow every single author, and furthermore, you don't have to read every single one of their blog posts. Even if you don't ever want to read any blog posts, which most of the time is about MLP and not the author's personal life, you still should read the blog posts that have a story that you're reading tagged. We wouldn't be having this conversation if you had actually read the blog posts that I tagged with this story. In fact, you should have been notified about the appropriate blog posts even if you aren't following me.
Hey, authors are people too.
6630796 Wow, I just thought you only do this to me, which I could understand on some level, but you're really an asshole to any author you encounter with? We're not here to please you because you got upset. And we damn sure aren't going to change how we act just because of what you think we should do.
We came to write on the site for enjoyment, not to be boss around by someone who think they have power over us.
6630886
I did not demand. I asked, and I pointed out that while not everyone reads blogs from the Author, everyone would see an Author Note placed at the top of the chapter. I didn't demand. Just asked, gave a suggestion, and a reason why such a suggestion could be good.
And I am not saying, like 6630841 thinks, that Authors are drone, and only here to make stories and nothing else. I even stated that some people might want to know more about the Authors. It's just that I, and a LOT of others, personally don't. And all I did was point that out. Rudely, yes, but that's all I did. Along with a suggestion those of us that don't read Blog posts of any kind, and don't follow Authors. I didn't demand that the Author follow it, he can happily chose not to. I was just pointing out a Suggestion.
Edit:
6630949 You, I do actually have problems with, and that's only with you and 1 story, which I will not bring up here to flame about. I am NOT bossing Authors, I did not mean to insult The Abyss, and am sorry it came off that way, but I was just telling the Truth. Not everyone reads Blogs from the Authors, no matter the Subject or tag on it. So I gave a suggestion no one could get around to get out important information, that being an Author Note at the top or bottom of the Chapter. Is that really a crime to state the truth and to give an idea that the Author can choose to use or not that might be a better solution?
I like this version a lot more. It's good to see this update again, I've missed this story.
6630960
No... it's not a crime to state the truth, but the way you said it came across as hostile and confrontational. I accept your apology, and I put a link in the author's notes at the top of the third chapter explaining the changes I have made.
6630960 I know you probably have good intentions, that's why when you comment on my stories, I don't go all shouting at you or cursing, but maybe you can tone it down? Cause right now comes off as you being hostile towards the author.
Dang sad ending is sad. I hope Scootaloo wakes up soon so things can start getting better. And I wanna sic Discord on those two waste of air ponies who would hurt a filly so much. Let him have some playthings to mistreat for a while!!!!
Better have guards around just in case.
6631162 Eeyup.
6631168 Or a Rottweiler.
Wow... I am seeing so many people I know in the comments section..
Pusspuss, Whitewolf, Tat, Commander Darklight... and some others!
HEY GUYS! :D
Nice chapter man, this, while I have read it before, it has more to it and I like it.
Lots of emotion in this.
Good show!
6630743 Wow... that... is really insulting... and as an Author I take offense to that good sir!
*Upturns hat and moustache*
You didn't fix a bucking thing. People will still want her biological parents killed. and you took out one of the best parts of the old version.
-Edit-
Please disregard the second sentence above, I see in hindsight that you were right about it being too quickly resolved. As for her biological parents, if I recall correctly the reason you gave for going on hiatus was because of the death demands against them. The reason I bring this up is they were just as brutal as before, which brought those demands around in the first place.
Time to get a tastey read of this juicy booty!
Now this chapter tugged at the heartstrings. I am hopeful that there will be some backstory development on Scoots' parents. Scootaloo is my favorite little filly.
...I comment, then say to stop in order to avoid a flame war, at which point it devolves in a small flame war.
Maybe next time I'll just silently judge someone for being hostile.
6630743 Wow, holy &*$%....
Why would you say such awful things, especially to somebody you don't even know?
I'm willing to bet money that people care for him more than the story. And you saying that, really offended not only me, but alot of other people. People like you don't deserve to live.
good job i still want scoots parents dead of coarse >.> child abuse is something i simply cant stand for and i hope her parents get whats coming to them on the flip side we have twi and dash who now have a very unstable issue that can end in disaster if not handled correctly i look forward to the next chapters
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6631334
It's because of you two I didn't join in flaming him further. I really should learn to read more comments if someone says something stupid that starts a flame war. Much less stressful than fanning the embers back into a bonfire when the argument's already over.
6631386 Whoa... holy &*$%... You had such a good point right up to that last sentence. Way to be worse than the commenter you're hating on dude.
6630766 I think the most insulting thing is commenting on an authors profile "Thanks for the fav" or similar.
I like the new ending! Twilight storming off allows Rainbow to ruminate on how her emotions got the better of her while she worries over Scoots. Turmoil and drama, this shall make the eventual hard won snuggles all the sweeter!
Oh and Dash, it's gonna take more than an apology to fix this; Twilight ain't no doormat!
Ok rewrite got interesting. Glad you are still working on this one.
It is definitely a more powerful ending this time around...
Cutting out the descriptions of the actions of Scoot's parents I'd say was unnecessary, because that moment -to me- was most impactful... Driving home that this sh*t be bad... But on the other hand, I understand why it got cut because people went way overboard with the death threats thing... So, in short, I think it was a mistake, but I understand why it's gone...
Secondly, Rainbow spotting Twilight's teleport works perfectly, gives her a reason to be there...
And finally, at the hospital.... While Twilight seems quite ooc, the stresses aren't exactly warranting normal behavior... But then again, listing off the issues after Rainbow struck her was perfect... So, this is gold star material compared to the last version... I applaud thee for the edits, I just wish the community could appreciate brutality before beloved better, so those gut punches could knock us down harder...
And it almost seems like you took the suggestions I left last time seriously... I feel helpful... At least in my own little world... Although I probably made no difference at all...
TL;DR: well done with the re-write, can't wait to see how Rainbow tries to fix this!
6632692
I actually didn't cut out the descriptions of the actions of Scootaloo's parents. I left Chapter 2 relatively untouched, save for a few dialogue changes.
I disagree. Twilight has never experienced this sort of internal turmoil. Balancing a brand new relationship, trying to keep everything from falling apart... I think that definitely warrants how she reacted, and thus, not out of character. We have no evidence to show that she'd react in any other way due to the fact that she's never been under this type of stress (romantic/relationship) before.
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Hence the entire commentary following that point when I said she'd never experienced anything like this and the gold star... I really shouldn't contradict myself in my own comments...
Hmmm, you didn't either... Ignore me, I thought there was more of *that* mentioned in the original copy of this chapter...
Either way, it's great to see that you got this story going again so quickly, so that is appreciated all the same...
In this situation, in pretty sure no news is bad news.
Damn this is a rough chapter.
I think I'll agree with Jirodyne...however small amount there is to agree with. Although there is most definitely a better way of saying what they mean. Basically the way I took it is that some of us don't follow people and/or read blogs. I for one am an example of one of those people. Being on Facebook and other sites led me to realize that no one has anything important to say, which in turn makes me ignore any type of post one makes. So putting the blog post in the author notes is most definitely the best idea...unless no one cares about that either, then I have no clue on how to solve that problem.
As for the story...can't say. All I know is that I'm still patiently awaiting the continuation for it does intrigue me.
And that's why you should leave such work to the professionals, Twilight, and not assume just because you're a princess you know what criminals will do.
Damn, I have to say, this is a lot better than the last time. The only thing that I really didn't like was Twilight going home at the end, that seemed... heartless of her. (I say that not about her leaving Rainbow, she deserved to be yelled at, but her leaving Scoots.)
I acknowledge that she knew they restarted Scoot's heart that one time, but her heart could've easily stopped again, several times in fact. In addition, she has no knowledge of how the surgery will go, the extent of the injuries Scootaloo suffered, if she'll be paralyzed for life, if she'll even survive it, nor will she be there if/when a doctor/nurse comes out to give a status update.
However--rightly--pissed she is at Rainbow, her leaving Scootaloo--who's still on the operating table--just strikes me as wrong.
All in all it was a good chapter, I only found that one moment repugnant, but it's not enough to turn me away the story. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!