My Paper Pony

by Garfield

Chapter 0-3: The Three Princesses

Deep in the orchard, a wooden mechanical monstrosity stood deep in between the trees. Riding it were two unicorns, nearly indistinguishable from one another. They had pale yellow fur, and their manes were a mix of red and white. The only way to tell them apart was via their facial hair. One had a moustache, while the other did not own one.

"Why, this orchard is just prime for picking" said the moustachioed stallion, to his brother.

"Anything on this farm is free for us to poach, and the cider business is ripe for taking" he replied.

"We shall be millionaires by next week, and no-one will be able to stop us". He noticed a mare flying towards him. "It looks like the boss has new orders", said the pony lacking a moustache. They turned off their machine and watched as the purple pony landed. "Miss Screwball, what message do you bring for us?" said the bald lipped pony.

"We have some…. Loose ends, shall we say, near your position. I need you to destroy the red stallion that is on the path from the farm. Bring me his body, if you choose to leave any remains" she said, in a voice that sounded cruel. It sent shivers down the brothers spines, and leaving a tingly feeling in their hooves.

She clapped her hooves together, and began to giggle. From her body, a burst of black energy erupted over the machine. It began to transform it into a larger structure, more guarded from attack than ever before, and carrying heavy weaponry on it. "This should help in the fight" the mare said, as she began to float away. "Now don't screw this up, or else I'll break you myself" she growled at the two.

With a laugh between the two, the brothers started up their new tank, and drove through the orchard towards Ponyville.

"How long did you say this path was?" gasped Mario, still trying to keep up with the bundle of energy that was Applebloom.

"Not long now mister, we just got about another…". Her face dropped as she saw a giant wooden machine blocking the path, and two familiar faces riding it. "Oh no, not now…"

"What's wrong, we can just walk round it can't we?" asked Mario, in an attempt to console the little filly.

"No, they're here for a fight. They're Flim and Flam, two con-ponies who attempted to steal the farm a while back. I think they've seen us too." she said, slowly backing away.

"Don't worry, I'll have a little talk with them." He walked up to the approaching machine and stood in front of it.
"Why hello, little pony. Are you lost?" said Flim, with a sneer in his voice. "We have plans for this farm, so kindly step aside, before I run you down."

"In fact brother, why don't we run him down anyway? We won't even leave a stain…" They had a sickening smile on their faces, spread wide as their horns began to glow

"Get outta the way, mister!" Applebloom yelled. Mario dived to the sides of the path as the contraption charged at them. The tank narrowly missed, and it skidded around again. In its turn, it knocked down several trees, splintering them in to sharp shapes.

"You can't run now, this machine will never relent!" shouted Flim. "How about you try some apples?" he laughed, flipping a switch from under his hoof.

A large hose extended from the rear of the machine and rose high above the trees. "I think we should run!" Mario called out to the filly, rushing through the orchard. They were stumbling over roots and rocks, until they reached a ditch. "You got any ideas on how to stop them?" the red stallion asked his companion, gasping for breath. Similarly out of breath, Applebloom managed to say "If we can knock out the brothers, the machine should stop working, and we can flee from them".

As soon as she said that, a loud rumbling shook the ground. The tank had managed to creep up on the two, and from on top the two unicorns looked down with large grins on their face. "Let's make this a little fairer, shall we? We'll count to five, and then we attack. Ready? One…" said Flim, with a large smile still on his face. Mario grabbed Applebloom and scrambled to climb out of the ditch.

"Two…" As hard as they tried, they couldn’t escape the hole.

"Three."

"Four." Mario launched Applebloom out of the ditch. She landed up in a tree, as Mario leaped to the edge. He managed to clamber onto the side, just clearing the edge.

"Five. Fire!" Just then, the large hose aimed at Mario. He had begun to run towards the contraption in an effort to attack. The hose began to fire apples at a high rate towards the red stallion. A few hit glancing blows, just barely missing. Mario leaped into the air and prepared a kick for the moustachioed unicorn. But before he could hit his jaw, an apple struck him in the face. This caused him to fumble his kick, making him miss and break a large bulb on the machine.

Sparks flew out of the damaged bulb, as the machine began to swerve erratically. "Fool, what have you done!?" shouted Flam, with a hint of terror in his voice. The unicorn lacking a moustache threw a punch at the red stallion, which was narrowly dodged. The tank swerved into a tree, knocking all of the ponies on board over onto their faces, save for the moustached pony. From the tree, a filly fell and head butted Flim on the nose. This caused him to stumble and hit his head on the other bulb. This one began to spark profusely too, as they soon became overloaded.

"Let's get outta here Mario!" shouted Applebloom. The red stallion nodded in agreement, and they galloped far from the vehicle, fearful of what may happen.

The machine developed several flames on its surface. "Oh my brother, it appears we might be out of a machine" said Flim.

"Agreed. Shall we make a break for it?" replied his brother. After a short pause, they screamed and began to run from the condemned vehicle. Unfortunately, the machine exploded with a violent green flame soon after they bailed, launching the two unfortunate ponies flying across the farm.

Looking upon the destruction left in the farm, Applebloom let out a bemused sigh and said "Applejacks gonna be mad when she sees this…". Mario couldn't help but let out a small laugh at this, and together they began to return to the path, in order to get back to their original goal of heading towards Ponyville. They were both bruised and battered, but they had managed to survive.

High above the crater of the tank, the purple pony was hovering again. "Fools," she thought, looking at the wreckage of their machine, "he managed to overcome the idiots". A worried look came over her face. "Maybe he could be a problem in the future. Discord must hear about this!". She began to float off towards the castle, still nervous about her masters reaction to the news.

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Deep inside the castle, Discord had fashioned himself a throne. It was a mish-mash of Luna and Celestia's thrones, with some of his own personal designs mixed in. He had already thrown the princess into her room, and sealed her in. There was no way she could escape through her door, thanks to a spell he cast on it. He hadn't wasted his time on the throne, as occasionally, he might turn one of his prisoners into a penguin or others into newspapers, just for the hell of it, but at the moment, he was just relishing in his new spot of power.

Bursting through the door, the purple pony galloped up to her master. "Terrible news, milord!" she blurted out, dropping to her knees in front of him.

"Oh, what is it Screwball?" he asked, with a hint of boredom in his voice.

"That pony you threw out of the window? He's alive and in Ponyville. He also managed to defeat the Flim Flam brothers, even with some of our magic under their belts." she said, with an uncharacteristic frown on her face.

"Why are you worried, dear, the element bearers are gone, and without them, there are no threats to my throne. Those fools couldn't fight their way out of a kindergarten, let alone a stallion. Just send the message to the fortress near Trottingham to be on lookout for our little friend". Discord slumped back in his chair, still bored. "Well? Get to it!" he shouted.

Without missing a beat, Screwball ran back out of the door, and exited the castle. Discord looked at a small tree in the corner of the room, and transformed it into a topiary of himself. "Much better" he thought.

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Meanwhile, back in Ponyville, Mario and Applebloom arrived at the town center. They were standing near the towns library, which was still cordoned off. "What happened here?" asked the red stallion to a nearby police officer. He looked down his nose at the duo and said "Nothing to see here, citizen", pushing him away.

With a worried look on her face, Applebloom said "Maybe they got Twilight as well!"

From inside the building, as soon as the filly closed her mouth, exited a large winged unicorn. Her coat was a navy blue, and her mane was similar to the nights sky. "Young lady, are you the sister of Applejack?" Applebloom nodded excitedly and said "Do you know where she has been taken?".

The blue pony looked down at her feet and said "She is missing too?. So it would appear that all six have been taken. This may well be the end…". She had begun to turn and wander back into the library. He thought he could see a tear in her eye, but she was hiding it well.

"Wait, what?" asked Mario, confused by her words. "What do you mean, it's all over?"

"Without those six, we can't defeat Discord, who has taken the castle hostage, as well as my sister" said the tall blue pony. She had begun to walk away from the stallion.

"I was at that party. I saw him with my own two eyes, and felt his power with my entire body".

Turning around quickly, the mare jumped towards Mario. "You were there? You must tell me what happened, and how you escaped!" she said, with a large eager smile on her face.

The red stallion recounted his tale to her, including his clash with Discord, his arrival at the farm and the fight with the Flim Flam brothers.

"This seems quite the tale, young stallion, but I believe you" said the pony, with her eyes closed and hoof on her chin. She opened her eyes and stood in a typical royal fashion. "I'm Princess Luna, and from now on, you are working for me in order to stop Discord. To return harmony. AND TO SAVE EQUESTRIA!" With the last one, she struck a pose with her hoof outstretched to the sky. Mario and Applebloom looked on with bewildered stares at the overly dramatic princess.

"Anyway princess, do we have any leads on the kidnappers?" the stallion asked Luna.

"I have been investigating the crime scenes, and my group of detectives have managed to track the kidnappers as having gone towards Trottingham. Maybe there would be a good place to search for them…". She pulled a map of Equestria from a nearby table and marked a large 'X' on the town.

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Back in the castle, Celestia was sitting in her room. "How could she have failed her subjects again?" she thought, with guilt racking her mind. "If only there was some way I could help stop Discord". She threw herself on the bed, hoping to come up with an idea. Soon after, a light knocking was heard at her window. She slowly walked towards it, worried about what could be on the other side. Suddenly, the window burst open, forcing her to give out a little yelp. Fortunately, it appeared that Discords force field created a small atmosphere around the castle, preventing her from being sucked out into space. In front of her however, laid a pink winged unicorn.

"Cadence, what are you doing inside this room, shouldn’t you be imprisoned in the dungeons?" Celestia asked.
The intruder got to her feet and walked up to her aunt. "Shining Armour gave me a mini forcefield that helped me to escape the jails. I just had to check up on you" she said, with some slight pep in her voice.
"I am fine dear, but sneaking around can lead to you being killed. I would like you to find Luna, and ensure she is safe". She laid her hoof on the younger ponies hair, slightly ruffling it.

"She isn't in the castle. At least, she isnt in the dungeons or her room." said Cadence. "However, I have discovered something my husband's spell has allowed me to do. It has given me the ability to pass the forcefield, much like Discords forces". She was standing on the edge of the window, showing perfect balance.

Celestia stood in deep thought for a moment, before an idea came to her. "You should be able to return to the ground, shouldn't you?" she said.

"I think so, yes" the pink pony said, walking towards the window.

"Then, I order you to fly down to the surface, and search for Luna, and the element bearers. Return to me with any information that you find". Cadence nodded in acceptance, and dived out of the window towards the surface of Equestria. Celestia smiled down at the flying pony, and closed her windows after she had left her field of vision.

Comments

[Garfield]

Not too sure about this last chapter. If it feels like i'm rushing descriptions / my dialogue is thin, let me know

[The Apphole]

This story is interesting enough for me to keep reading (even though I've never played a Paper Mario game before), but there are five major grammar issues that you should probably look out for future chapters. Sorry, but I'm a bit of a grammar Nazi.

1. Punctuation with quotations: If a sentence comes to a complete stop (i.e. a period, etc.), then the punctuation should stay inside of the quotation marks.
2. Thoughts and tense shifting: Unstated thoughts look better in italics. Also, make sure personal thoughts are in the first person and reflect the thinker's feelings on a given topic. Furthermore, keep the story in one tense (i.e. past, present or future). This keeps the story more fluid and less clunky.
3. Possessives: Make sure that apostrophies are in the words where necessary.
4. Look out for comma splices. Two or more independent clauses (sentences) combined into one sentence should have a semicolon. Alternatively, the sentences could remain separate.
5. Pronoun-Antecedent agreement: Multiple pronouns in one sentence should only be used when the things/characters are different genders. Also, pronouns should agree with the most previous subject stated.

Examples:
Back in the castle, Celestia was sitting in her room. "How could she have failed her subjects again?" she thought, with guilt racking her mind. "If only there was some way I (Ex. 2) could help stop Discord". (Ex. 1) She threw herself on the bed, hoping to come up with an idea. Soon after, a light knocking was heard at her window. She slowly walked towards it, worried about what could be on the other side. Suddenly, the window burst open, forcing her to give out a little yelp. Fortunately, it appeared that Discords (Ex. 3) force field created a small atmosphere around the castle, preventing her from being sucked out into space. In front of her however, laid a pink winged unicorn.

"Cadence, what are you doing inside this room, shouldn’t you be imprisoned in the dungeons?" (Ex. 4: a semicolon should follow "room.")

Celestia smiled down at the flying pony, and closed her windows after she had left her field of vision. (Side note: the words in bold are should not be separated as two independent clauses... closed her windows after she had left her field of vision. is not an independent thought, so the comma before "and" is not necessary.)

...closed her windows after she (Ex. 5: you're not clear on stating that "her" replaced "Celestia" and that "she" replaced "Cadence.")

Just a few things to look out for. Other mistakes are small, not really worth mentioning. Look out for them, though. Otherwise, keep up the good work! Also, tell me if I'm being unclear with anything.