• Published 27th May 2012
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My Paper Pony - Garfield

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Chapter 3-3: Magic and Diamonds

The cave shook as the awoken beast began to take steps toward the intruders into its home. Slowly, it entered the pale moonlight that lit up a small part of the gargantuan cave. The deep blue fur of the beast shimmered as it stood on its rear legs, towering above the ponies and the mule that cowered in its lair. Giving out a low roar towards its prey, it spat slimy saliva towards them.

"Ugh. Trixie does not approve of this sort of behaviour!" said a blue unicorn, whose invisibility had begun to wear off. Her horn begun to light up, and it created a pale blue mist in the cave that shrouded everything. "Moustache boy, we are getting out of here!" she said, running toward the exit. Noticing his invisibility was wearing off too, Mario grabbed the small chest and begun to run towards the exit.

Somewhere in the mist, a female voice called out, accompanied with the sound of a sheathing blade. "Do not think this is over, mage. We will find you, and you shall be one of my lords trophies."

"Boss, help me!" cried out the voice of the griffon, who had managed to recover a bit from the flare.

"Meet me at the rendezvous point, boys" shouted back the ninja, as she fled the home of the Ursa Minor.

"I can't see a flippin' thing!" wailed the griffon, who had begun to panic.

"Calm down, you daft bastard. Just trust your instincts and you will be fine. Now, can you carry me?" asked the green pegasus, who had just managed to pull himself to his feet. "Those little foals did a number on my old ribs." Nodding, the griffon flew over to the voice and picked his comrade up, before flying away from the slobbering beast and over the other fleeing ponies.

Standing outside the cave, Mario waited for Trixie to escape with him. Running from the mist by the cave, the unicorn joined the earth pony near the exit. "That could have gone better" said the stallion.

"You only have yourself to blame. Trixie stuck to the plan" she said, sticking her nose into the air. "You were invisible. I don't see how you could get slashed like that."

Looking down at his chest, Mario saw the wound that had gone across his chest. Luckily, it wasn't bleeding too much."Do you have anything I can--" he said, before being interrupted by a loud roar coming from the cave.

"That one sounded angry. I think we should get some space between us and this cave" said the wounded pony.

"Agreed. I'd rather not tangle with it ag-AHHH!" screamed Trixie, as the Ursa Minor slammed its titanic paw down near her. "Run for it!" she shrieked, trying to run from the irate bear. Seeing the intruders beginning to flee, the monster jumped ahead of them, and landed on a frozen tree. This shattered, showering frozen chunks of wood over the two ponies. Howling in pain, the blue beast cried out in a roar.

"Should we try to run around it?" asked Mario, who had caught up with Trixie.

"Be my guest. I think it hurt itself badly anyway" replied the unicorn. Suddenly, the ground shook even more violently than before, causing trees to topple over, and even the Ursa Minor to shake.

"What the hay was that!?" asked the stallion, trying to regain his footing as the rumbling stopped.

"Something very, very, very bad" said Trixie, her eyes filling up with fear. "We have to run. Now." Before she could move, a massive purple paw slammed down next to her. It was many times larger than the ponies, and it made the blue bear look tiny in comparison. "We may have just woken up its mum."

"Wait, what?" said Mario, with a dumbfounded look on his face. "This is just the kid?"

"Sadly, yes. And I don't think that my ice spells will affect it too much, so we won't be able to try and scare it off. If that thing leaves the cave, we are all dead, including the cowards that ran from here, the rhyming zebra and even my amazing campsite" she said, casting another shroud of mist into the clearing as the ground shook again, this time even more violently than before.

"Surely it won't find us if we run?" asked the moustached stallion. "We must be like ants to that thing."

The ground shook as it thudded again, and the Ursa Minor ran to the cave entrance. "It'd sniff us down, and it wouldn't stop until it finds us. Despite how much it pains me to say this, I need your help, Mario" said the mage.

"Do we have a plan then?" asked the wounded pony.

"On the outside, those things are invincible, so..." Trixie said, making a swallowing motion with her mouth.

"No. I'm not getting swallowed by anything today" replied Mario, sternly.

"Boring. We could try to pacify them then. Miss Goody Four-Hooves put it to sleep when the Minor attacked Ponyville, maybe we could try something like that?" she said, staring at the slowly emerging purple beast.

"Can you do a lullaby or something then?" asked the red stallion, who was slowly stepping back from the cave.

"I was thinking more of knocking it unconscious, but that might work. You will sing though, as Trixie's singing voice is far too good for the likes of these... things to hear" she said, still watching the emerging Ursa Major. It's snout was now nearly out of the cave, and it was emitting a low growl.

"Let's call that plan B. I'm going to try some diplomacy" replied the stallion, walking towards the two bears, both now fully emerged from the cave.

"Your funeral. Trixie will be over here, coming up with up with another plan, in the likely event you are swallowed whole" she said, walking over to a pile of broken trees with her treasure chest on her back.

Jeez, they are much larger than I thought they were thought Mario, as he walked over towards the bears, stopping about fifty metres before them. "Hey, uh, Miss Major, can you hear me?" he asked. In the distance, he could hear Trixie facehoof and sigh. Nevertheless, the Ursa Major turned its gaze from its wounded child to the red pony, scowling and baring its fangs.

Dear lord, each one of them is like three Big Macintoshes stacked he thought, staring at the gargantuan teeth. "We are sorry that you had to wake up so early, but uh..." He looked at the beast glaring at him, the rude and insignificant being who dared intrude onto the Ursa's territory. Gulping down his fear, Mario continued. "We meant no harm to you, and were merely trying to retrieve some goods that were taken from my friend over there" he said, gesturing towards Trixie. Seeing the bear look at her, she gave out a whimper and hid behind a fallen tree.

"At the moment, the world is pretty messed up, and it's survival depends on me managing to return to my base. I know, deep inside of you, that your only aim is to protect your child. Well, let me help you with that. What's wrong?" he asked, slowly walking towards the duo. Snarling, the mother slammed its paw into the ground, toppling several frozen trees to the ground. This also knocked Mario to the ground, leading him to shriek like a little girl. After the ground stopped shaking, he could hear a voice calling out to him.

"Look, it isnt going to work. They are two giant bears, who could easily turn you inside out. Frankly, I wouldn't care if that happened to you, but I still have a shred of empathy for idiots like you!" shouted the blue unicorn. "Run, dammit!"

Ignoring the pleas of his comrade, the red stallion stood up once more. "We might be able to help you!" he shouted.
Looking at the frozen trees scattered around the mouth of the cave, an idea hit him. "Is the ice around here irritating you?" he shouted up to the bears. Still glaring, the Ursa Major stopped baring its fangs at the moustached pony. "If we make all of the ice go away, would you kindly let us go without rampaging and destroying everything?" he asked. The purple bear's expression softened as she continued looking at the red pony.

"Ok, just let me sort this out" he shouted, retreating to his comrade. "Can you make the ice retreat?" he said as he got closer to her.

"If we do that, the Ursa's will be able to roam around here again, and possibly eat us" she stated.

"I think it's likely that is what is irritating them. Come on, make it melt. It is worth a shot" persuaded Mario.

"No deal. Frankly, I think I should try to ice these up to keep them from running" said Trixie, with a huff.

The red stallion sighed. "Fine, I didn't want to have to do this, but you're under arrest, Trixie Lulamoon."

"Wha-what?" said the mage, her jaw dropping. "What the hay is up with you?"

"I work for Princess Luna as part of her special forces, and you have attacked us and now are compromising our mission" lied Mario. Well, I do sort of work for Luna. Just not as a soldier. More of a courier, really. "I ask that you comply with us immediately."

"You're lying. A weedy shrimp such as yourself would never make the Royal Guard, much less the special forces" sneered the blue unicorn, waving a hoof at him. "Besides, you need all the help you can get in this situation with the Ursa's. I weep for Equestria's safety if we have ponies such as you guarding us."

Hey, I'm not that weedy! he thought. Thinking quickly to try and find a chink in the icy unicorn's armour, Mario coolly said "We know of things that you have done in the past. Things that could very well come and ruin your cosy little life." Upon hearing this, Trixie froze and her ears perked up. Grinning, the red stallion continued, saying "Of course, if you help us now in our time of need, we may be able to arrange a pardon for you. Also, before you question my claims, know that we managed to track you down effortlessly. Who else but the special forces could do that?"

Turning around to face the earth pony, Trixie had a huge, fake smile plastered on her face. "Of course, Mr. Agent, right away" she said, her smile not cracking. She turned her horn to the sky, as it began to glow with a pale blue tint. Suddenly, the temperature in the forest began to rise as the ice covering the ground and trees began to thaw. "Anything else, Mr. Agent?" she said, her facade beginning to slip as her sarcastic tone began to slip back.

"Let's just wait to see what happens before we do anything" said Mario, gesturing towards the bears. Standing on its hind legs, the Ursa Major looked around the forest. For as far as it could see, the forest had returned to being as regular as it usually is. With a low grunt, it ushered its blue child into the cave, stomping in after it.

"Of course, The Great and Powerful Trixie was always able to vanquish such vile beasts. Shall we arrange our deal then?" she asked, still smiling widely.

Grinning to himself, Mario shook his head. "No, I think we should head back to your camp first. Recover what I need, and then we can talk business" he said, still attempting to keep a stoic look on his face.

"Of course, sir. Follow me" she said, picking up the chest and leading off towards the campsite.


______________________________________________________________________________________________


The return to the campsite was much quicker than the journey from it, and on the way, Trixie had found her cloak and hat again. She quickly placed it on, without stopping and as such, it was all crooked and dishevelled. After a short while, they arrived at the campsite, which was a lot more basic now all of the ice shields had been lowered. All that remained was a small tent, a few cardboard boxes under a thin metal shelter and four ponies tied to poles around a fire, which had burnt to embers.

"Would you kindly cut down my team?" asked Mario, putting on a deadpan tone.

"Of course" replied Trixie, her horn lighting up the ropes and dropping the captured ponies to the ground. Waking up quickly, Applebloom rubbed her head.

"What the hay is going on?" she said, looking around. She saw that Big Macintosh, Scootaloo and Ditzy were also on the ground, slowly waking up. In front of her, stood a red stallion with a black moustache and beside him, a pale blue unicorn scowling at him behind his back.

"My good friend here had attacked us for intruding on her property. Luckily, I managed to smooth things out with her, and we are going to discuss a few things" Mario said, still putting on his act.

"Are these your fellow agents?" asked Trixie.

"Agents? I'm a mailmare, and he's the town plumber" said Ditzy, with a confused look on her face. Both the red stallion and the mage's faces dropped, as the blue unicorn shot a death glare at him.

"You... lying, cheating, slimy bastard!" shouted Trixie, advancing on the plumber as her horn lit up. "I bet you work for those thugs of Discord!" A lightning bolt shot past Mario's head and hit a nearby tree, causing it to topple over. "To think I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, even believed you. I suggest you and your little friends leave quickly, before I improve my aim."

"Ok, so I wasn't some big old agent. But I swear, that was my only lie. We truly do work on Luna's orders, as well as trying to restore sense to this messed up world" pleaded the moustached plumber.

"I don't believe you" she said, wandering over to Scootaloo, who was backing away slowly.

"If I was part of the Legion of Chaos, would that mule have attacked me?" asked Mario, gesturing to the wound on his chest, which was still bleeding.

Letting out a small sigh, she walked towards the wounded pony. "I guess. I still don't trust you entirely, by the way." Opening up one of her boxes, she pulled out a green tin. "There should be plenty of bandages in there. Use how much you want, it doesn't matter, just leave Trixie alone" she said, walking into her tent, dragging her chest with her.

Ditzy had walked over to Mario, and began to apply the bandages to his chest, covering up the wound. "I'd see a doctor about getting that closed up a bit more, but it's better than leaving it open" she said, putting the tin back to where the mage had taken them from.

"Well, did you find the next element of harmony in the cave then?" asked Scootaloo, sitting on the ground next to the mailmare. "Or do we have to spend more time in this damn forest. I think I saw a bunch of timber wolves lurking around here."

"Oh, that reminds me" said Mario, slapping his head with a hoof. Walking slowly towards the tent, closely followed by an orange filly, he called out to the blue unicorn. "Trixie..."

"Go away, or I will gut every single one of you bucking morons, and feed you to a bear!" she shouted. Flinching in shock, Mario recoiled, and Scootaloo fled behind Ditzy.

"I know I may have told you a little white lie, but I swear on my life, I wouldn't work for that sleaze ball Discord. I know you wouldn't either, and we need all the Great and Powerful ponies in order to fight him. That's why we need you" he said, beginning to walk towards the tent again.

From inside the tent, Trixie gave a small chuckle. "Stroke my ego, why don't you?"

"Is that a yes?"

"No. Frankly, I don't see what gain I get from this."

"Fame, fortune and men?" asked Mario, leaning towards the tent door.

She laughed again, and said "You tempt me well. I have made up my mind. You shall receive my prisoner and the honour of coming with me to Ponyville. Between the two children and derp face over there-"

"Hey!" shouted Ditzy, indignantly.

"-you wouldn't stand a chance against me in a fight anyway" continued the witch, ignoring the pegasus. "Also, liar with the moustache, you can carry me the way there" she laughed, exiting the tent, with her cape blowing in the wind she had conjured up.

"Wait, what?" said the plumber, the smile wiped off of his face.

"You sound like you need dear miss Sparkle desperately, and if you want her, you have to take me with you on my conditions" she said, levitating the card containing Twilight Sparkle out of the tent. "And Trixie wants to be carried. Of course, I'm sure you could take that draconequus down without the element of magic."

"Can't Big Mac carry you?" asked the smaller red stallion, pointing towards his larger comrade.

"Nope" he said, causing Applebloom and Scootaloo to begin sniggering.

"Fine. Just don't fidget" Mario said, in a huff.

"Trixie knew you would come around" the mage said, as she climbed on his back. "So, faithful steed, what way is it to Ponyville?"

Grumbling under his breath, the red stallion shot a glare at the chuckling Big Macintosh, who had picked up the element of harmony card, and placed it on his back. "I think it was north for about five miles, then the footpath back from Zecora's place."

"Lead on then, hick" said Trixie, which wiped the grin off of Macintosh's face.

"Seeing as how we don't need everypony here, why don't I take Scootaloo and fly back to Ponyville. I'll tell Luna everything that happened, and we can start the plan for our next move early" said Ditzy, squatting down next to the orange filly.

"I'd be up for that" the young pegasus replied, climbing onto the mailmare's back.

"Ok then, just stay safe" said Mario, as they took off.

"Well? What are we waiting for? Mush!" shouted Trixie, as she kicked her steed in the ribs.

This is going to be a long journey he thought, as they began their trek back to civilization.



_______________________________________________________________________________________________


High above the clouds, Canterlot Castle still floated, surrounded by an energy shield. Inside her bedchambers, Celestia had laid down in her bed, and had managed to catch some sleep. It had been eluding her recently, what with her constantly worrying about the condition of her fair country. It had only been on Cadence's insistence that she rested, so that she could be ready for when the time came to fight back. Upon seeing that her aunt had finally gone to bed, the young princess of love had decided to don the ancient armour once again, and to attempt to sneak through the castle and find out more clues regarding Discord's plans.

Ugh, all this grime will take forever to get out of my mane thought Cadence, as she climbed out of the tunnel.

Unsurprisingly, the room was unguarded again, which gave her free reign to look around the castle. Slipping into a smaller room, on the side of the main chamber, the pink princess heard a couple of voices talking.

"What I'm saying is, I don't know why the boss doesn't want us to ignore the prisoners. It'd make the princess angry and it'd save us a lot of hassle. I mean, that captain nearly broke my nose earlier when I delivered their food. You'd think they'd be grateful" said a female voice, high and whiny.

That's my Shiny thought Cadence, smirking to herself.

"Don't question the boss, lass. You're lucky he let his prisoners work for him, he isn't usually that merciful to defectors" said a familiar, loud voice. Peeking over the bookshelf, the princess saw that the two talking ponies were the large pegasus she had met earlier, and a young golden mare, wearing a suit of armour which ill fitted her. Squinting, she recognised her as one of the guests from the party.

A traitor! thought the pink winged unicorn, ducking back behind cover. She's willing to cause pain and misery, just to save her own hide. She seethed with anger, her hooves almost shaking in fury. Attempting to calm herself down, she began to take deeper breaths.

"Now, can I leave you here to guard these ledgers? Since you are new blood, we don't particularly want to take you on any important jobs, so just stay here and shut up" said the stallion.

"What if someone comes to attack me?" said the mare, frightened.

"I heard you tend to sleep with ponies to get your way. Why don't you try that?" laughed the pegasus, as he walked out of the room, through a door on the opposite side of the room from Cadence. Giving out a shocked gasp, the traitor yelled several expletives at her superior.

Slowly creeping up on the lone mare, the winged unicorn made her voice lower. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" she said, attempting to emulate a certain chaos spirit's voice.

"Who is it! I'm warning you, I'm armed" yelled the golden mare, drawing a dagger from a sheath.

Walking out from the shadows, Cadence put on a stern face. "Report your name and status, private".

Seeing the large, armoured winged unicorn approach her, the mare stood sloppily to alert. "Amber Crystal, I think I'm a private." She looked closer at the soldier that had approached her. "Is that you, Princess Cadence?"

"Indeed. Our lord Discord wishes to look at some of the records. I request that you stand down" lied the pink princess. With any luck, she'd be dumb enough to fall for this she thought.

"Aren't you meant to be imprisoned?" Amber asked, with a sceptical look on her face.

The princess of love's eyes opened wide. Thinking quickly, she came up with an excuse as to why she was out and about in the castle. "I too betrayed my country for my own, selfish needs" she said, taking a subtle jab at the noble in front of her.

"Uh, of course" said golden earth pony. Walking away from the desk, Cadence saw her chance. Grabbing her by the shoulders, the pink princess threw the guard into a wardrobe nearby.

"Wa-huh? Let me out of here, traitor!" shouted the earth pony.

"A bit ironic, no?" said Cadence, as she forced the doors closed with her magic. Turning the wardrobe around, she pushed the doors against the walls. "I'd suggest that you keep quiet. After all, Discord will be annoyed that some of his plans have fallen into our hooves."

Ignoring the curses of the trapped pony, she began to look over the paperwork on the desk. The majority of it read of words which meant absolutely nothing, as well as making little sense. But in a small drawer, there was a small black book. Inside, read of a few trades made between one of Discord's top goons, and several targets. The most eye catching one read:

200,000 bits worth of jewels from the royal vaults transferred to the Diamond Dogs of Ponyville Wastelands, for services carried out.

500,000 bits worth of jewels from the royal vaults transferred to Garble, for services to be carried out.

Oh my Celestia! thought Cadence, with a look of horror on her face, They've emptied out the vaults! Wait a minute... "Services carried out" near Ponyville. This can't be good!

Running out of the room, she breathed a sigh of relief seeing her tunnel unguarded. Diving in, she scrambled as quick as she could, with the book in her mouth, towards the room of the Princess of the Sun.

"I'mofftostopaplottodestroyPonyville,readthisbook,it'llanswerprettymucheverything" shouted the pink princess as she threw the ledger at the awakening ruler. Throwing open the windows, Cadence dived from the window towards the earth below.

"Huh?" said a very groggy Princess Celestia, wiping her eyes.


With her wings tucked close to her body, the princess of love went faster and faster towards the small town. Smoke was rising from several houses there, and many beings could be seen running around to try and extinguish the flames. Flying even faster, she saw that her worst fears were true. Ponyville was in flames, and the culprits were dragging dozens of captives back to their lair.