Firefighter, 911 operator/dispatcher, racing & anime fan, onetime prolific fanfic writer (in his own mind)
Side story to Starscribe's fine works The Last Pony on Earth and Founders of Alexandria. Max Morley is a 34-year-old firefighter working in Prudhoe Bay, Alaska, when the Collapse begins. But he doesn't know about it until nearly five months have passed.
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I had the strangest urge to cinema sins when I read the first line...
Alliteration. *DING*
Now that that's out of the way... I really love your writing. Honestly, I do. On the story on a whole, it really makes you wonder; how many people turned ponies are gonna die from a combination of who they are, where they are and what skills they possess/lack? It's a sobering undercurrent to that clung as I read the story. I think I like Max though. And it's going to be a travel story rather than a Homebase story. We don't have any of those yet, really. And you've got the first Earth Pony Core story. That's two sins off!
I swear I didn't CS it after that first line. Maybe I should though. Might be fun....
Anyway, I'm looking forward to what Maxie wakes up. And the adventures he is sure to face. Does he have snow shovels? Their should be on the truck anyway.
What will the future hold? Find out next time on Stallion vs The North!
(I'm giving myself a sin for that one...)
Hacks, this guy starts off with a fully loaded mobile command center. I guess he is flying solo in the middle of nowhere though so will he crack or run out of supplies first?
Very interesting premise. I was always under the impression that after winter started travel down the ALCAN was risky if not impossible during winter
I bet it has something to do with the opposite of putting out fires, doesn't it? Do I get a prize if I'm right?
As a great man once said, "Winter is Coming."
(What am I referencing? I know, but do you?)
Earth Pony? Check.
Hostile and soon deadly Environment? Check.
Road movie? Check.
Author is Jay911? Check.
Hit it.
just... just don't leave CTS hanging...
6321127 Celefin
Worry not, Jay911 is not the kind of guy to leave stories hanging :)
This was a great chappy :) Love how the idea turned out ^^
I keep waiting for some of the more dangerous wildlife to make an appearance during one of his pit stops.
What constitutes dangerous? Bear (close to if not already in hibernation though)? Skunk? Hungry elk? Confused and upset former human?
6329758 A hungry fox or raccoon?
DON'T PANIC
This reads wonderfully and I already like Max. Great atmosphere, great roadmovie feeling, great description of the rapid and somewhat unsettling acclimatization to the pony body.
And he almost got himself boltshot due to his own earth pony strength. Good going Max.
On edit: found the perfect soundtrack for this. The Mass Effect 2 galaxy map theme on endless repeat. Has just the right kind of otherworldly feeling for an endless road through a silent tundra.
Its good to see that max isn't alone anymore. Lets just hope that duncan hasn't gone too crazy from being alone for a few months.
The timing is impeccable. I think that one more day alone for Max would have made the story a bit repetitive. Enjoyed it all the way around :)
Alright we got a real road trip now. The casual, what you can't pull trucks out of ditches was pretty funny. Don't get to comfortable though Max, at some those freaky unicorn powers will start to manifest.
Damn man, earth pony strength is awesome. First a truck, next an airliner!
I like Duncan. Robin would love Duncan. They have similar outlooks. 'We must test this. For science.' He seems very organized though with the way his supplies are laid out. Or at least found a way to pass the time.
yay more stories!
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Hello Operator is your refrigerator running? You better catch it then.
Queue the sound of Joseph breaking things.
6358027 That gives me a mental image of Joseph being phoned incessantly by a mischievous little colt pranking him constantly, and for some reason Joe is running a bar...
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I know The little kid in mine would do it... Despite the fact she speaks Spanish 
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This. Is. Perfect. As a whole.
The tie in to the main story is masterfully done and captures the feeling of the original. My thanks to Starscribe as well for supporting you.
This was also the best possible rendition of Joseph. Newcomers disturbing him 'every ten minutes'. More like once every two weeks at most I'd wager... but Joseph doesn't like being disturbed when he's doing something important. That means never.
Twilight's counterpart has arrived. He'll help Alex make sense of the stuff Twilight 'explained' to her :) Also: fellow Pratchett follower.
Beautiful.
Do I spot a heavy duty transport in the distance? This gonna be good.
Heh. Right.
Nice to see that Duncan is enjoying his first ride in a semi. And it's a firetruck! Appeal to your inner seven year old! All little kids apparently love firetrunks. It's weird, but I've seen the evidence... boys and girls.
Still, it sounds way fancier than the ones I've been in. Stupid rusty seat shocks and noisy.
I love that Max the earth pony is the big deal in this story. Too often we gloss over them. I can see his super hero name... Maximum, Super Stallion!
I still think Duncan and Robin would get along great.
And as promised (because my muse is still moody)...
EVERYTHING WRONG WITH The Longest Highway; Your Call is important to us IN 400 WORDS OR LESS.
SPOILERS.
(OBVIOUSLY)
Luxury fire truck comes with lumbar support. *ding*
Earth Ponies are awesome. We're taking off one sin for that, actually. *bing*
Iridium Customer service after a Class 1.5b extintion is horrible. *ding*
Hold music. *ding*
Exposition *ding*
Said the unicorn. *ding*
See? Max agrees. Um... is this a sin? Meh. Toss one up there just to be safe. *ding*
Dammit Canada, you had one job...*ding*
(says the Canadian...)
As much as I'd love to sin this... we really do name our cities that badly...
Max is superstallion. Also; says the unicorn. (Yes, we know he doesn't know it yet and likely wouldn't be able to do that even if he did have knowledge and training, but it's still hilarious) *ding*
Come on, Max! You aren't even giving me the chance, here!
Sin Total: 8
Sentence: Calling Joe at 8am
That was a riot! I hope Starscribe comes to see it. Has been avoiding Highway for now to prevent "plot contamination" by Joe and Alex in their speaking parts. It's safe now, Starscribe, come on in!
I'd have a bird about not being able to search google or download off of youtube anymore, but then again, I DO have music and info on the my computer. Twitter is something I never had, nor is Reddit.
I short: easy come, easy go.
0:20
1:05
Overall, I think I kinda like this Duncan. His last name sounds....familiar, though.
Still, I do thing him and Starlight would get along swimmingly.
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The truth? This story's names have been brought to you by Share a Coke bottles. No word of a lie. At least the first names.
The last names? A couple have meaning. Most are just pulled out of the air, Duncan's included. I try to Google the name before I use it, to make sure I don't use the name of a real and/or well-known person.
Once again, you have received the 'All My Yes' award. Congratulations!
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I do love ever bit of your Everything Wrong With The Longest Highway.
(Said the Canadian)
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Yeah, but Duncan's last name....I can't shake the feeling I've heard it somewhere. I think it may have been a movie.
Good news, found another pony. Bad news, they didn't want to come with.
I really like Jordan.. I hope it's not the last we hear of him. Adding a native as an earth pony was a great idea, kudos!
Got to say, I loved this chapter. Jordan was an interesting addition. Putting in a native was a brilliant move. And the legends really do have an interesting impact. And I'll admit I did nod approvingly when Jordan stayed. Sure, it's nice and all to meet some people after so long, but even so, it's his home and he's set him self up those 23 weeks. To just up and leave it...
Also, he was counting... jeeze. He might have gone mad if Sydney wasn't there to keep him company. You keep making me think of all the darker stuff with your passing comments and remarks.
Anyway, Jordan might have the skills to take care of himself quite easily. I hope Max left his number in case Jordan stumbles across a satellite phone later. You never know.
EVERYTHING WRONG WITH NorthlandThe Longest Highway; Spreading the Good Word IN 1200 WORDS OR LESS.
SPOILERS.
(OBVIOUSLY)
In case you confused it with Beaver Creek, Brazil *ding* 1
This is a Stargate reference. I don't care if it's intentional or not, but considering that I'm a huge fan *bing* and Scribe is a huge fan *bing* and me assuming it's intentional *bing* that's three sins off! -2
Baseball joke *ding* -1
Ponies, would still be considered people. I'm suprised Duncan, a man of science, would push that. Unless you're being picky about the semantics of the definition. Then we'd sin you for that. So, either way, *ding* 0
So; basically the same as breaking down in Canada before it was depopulated *ding* 1
Ah, road construction... Canada's greatest industry *ding* 2
Because real man have trouble properly reading maps *ding* 3
I'm gonna be honest. This sounds like it could be the start of a horror movie *ding* 4
Yep. Definite horror movie vibes *ding* 5
The Writer gave Jordan instructions to eat that apple, but Jordan decided he looked like enough of an ass thanks to the event already, so he just peeled it. Ha-ha; puns*ding* 6
Also; Earth's Apple Clan starts in Canada *ding* 7
Also; wise old Native American cliche *ding* 8
Story about magic ponies and a depopulated earth is tossing in an environmental message into the pot. From an earth pony no less! *ding* 9
I actually agree and somewhat approve of this message, and am also writing the story in one of the most green powered cities in the verse so far, so I get a sin for this one too. *ding* 1
*ahem*
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*ding* 10
And that horror movie vibe is back... just keep him company and hope you don't wake up to him humming to himself as he sharpens his- I'm gonna stop talking now... *ding* 11
Is... is he the Doctor? Quick! Search his cabin for a pocket watch! *ding* 12
Native refuses to leave. I would say old, but then I remembered I'm not sure he actually is old, and even if he was, he'd still be in the prime of pony life. *ding* 13
Considering the Horror Story vibe I've been getting, and what we found out about creatures of concept and magic... I'm very concerned. Perhaps we will never hear from this again. *ding* 14
Hey! He's a grease pony! You know, like a grease monkey, but he's a pony now, so... Whatever. Alex would have gotten it. *ding* 15
Canada is depolu- oh, wait, we already said that. *ding* 16
That sounds awesome, actually. Until it's not...
Just doing my job cliche *ding* 17
Of course. Just because he (or she) is possibly a deranged murderer is no reason not to be polite and neighbourly *ding* 18
Should have gone with State Farm. Or maybe Geico. Either way, I know we should have taken the extended plan! *ding* 19
Kraft Dinner. The staple of Canadian everywhere *ding* 20
Product Placement *ding* 21
Product Placement *ding* 22
I actually missed this one before, but really didn't want to go back and rewrite all the counts. So another sin for me *ding* 2
===========
Sin Total: 21
Sentence: Surviving off honey nut cheerios
Commenter Sin Total: 2
Sentence: Rewriting all the sin counts
The game of Good News, Bad News....why didn't I think of that?
And the trip continues, through emptiness and surreality. This really has a great feel to it, very much like one of the stranger 1970s roadmovies. Jordan was great. Especially the indigenous peoples should be returning quicker than most others, no? History is probably going to repeat itself (though there might be some hope it turns out better than the first time around).
6376821 Northland; Spreading the Good Word
There's a copy paste sin there... ;)
On edit: There's a cinema sins under this story! Oh happy day!
Truck on. (ding)
6377304 Ah man, now I have to give myself another sin... *ding* 3
You guys are killing me.
In a good way, that is.
Max and Duncan are not as astute as Adrian, knocking over a satphone retailer to have a case of phones to toss out like candy canes during the Santa Claus Parade.
And I love this, so I'm quoting it.
6376821
6329758
... meh. I'd say none of them. Just back away slowly from the bear, same with the skunk, just stay away from the elk, and stay calm and reasonable when talking with the human.
All arguments are invalid, Kate.
So, what do all these things have in common? No idea, though the design of Kate does bring to mind a Pegasus version of Fleur De Lis.
Wow.. Max got served.. hooves are HARD! But there they go! A full set and one of each tribe :) Its gonna keep Duncan and Max pretty occupied too! More conversation :)
"so - where to" - no mention of leaving a note of where sh'es going.
Whelp wherever they are headed next they will have plenty of coffee to fuel the trip.
Ah, we have the Alberta Rose, don't we?
Reminds me of when I hit a pheasant and it punched a nice hole in the grill, complete with ornamental feathers. Good thing they didn't get Kate through the windshield or the story would have come to a rather abrupt end.
Coffee. A ton of coffee. The ponypocalypse just got bearable. Fleur de Lis leads a double life as a pegasus barista, how fitting. Headcanon created, this needs a fanfic.
Truck on.
And Independent Teenager has joined your party! I'll... come back with more and the sins tomorrow... still getting over the flu.
Kate reminds me of a puppy constantly wagging its tail while ruining the lowest ten inches of your trousers by constantly trying to pull you over to something incredibly fascinating. Incredibly annoying and cute at the same time.
Okay, I'll admit, I've lost the sinning spark!
Woe! So many chapters will have to go unsinned!
I'll still try to give constructive, deep and insightful comments! (Pff. Who am I kidding? I'd likely just prattle on about stuff like I normally do.)
Anyway; Kate is really helping to make this trip as much about the journey as it is the destination. Fun sights, curious stops and places to visit. Makes it a bit more enjoyable than just hours of driving. Max has been promoted to door master though. Nopony 'unlocks' doors like earth ponies.
Kate sure is an interesting one. I can't even imagine how crazy she must have been going while solo for so long. I feel for the next pony they meet as Kate is sure to flying tackle-hug them.
It is this author's humble opinion that, at least for this chapter, Kate is Best Pony.
I had to, I'm sorry.