Colgate's Rants 2: The Antagonist Edition

by StormLuna

The Dazzlings (Not so much a rant, more of a situation)

Adagio Dazzle

While normally it is just a matter of one patient coming in at a time that annoys the hell out of me or really pisses me off, one time I had THREE. Three very annoying patients who had the strangest appearance. They looked like ponies but they had transparent wings and had personalities that I would find incompatible. I'm no counselor but how these three manage to get along is beyond me and how I managed to not strangle them is beyond me as well.

Well I figured they must be some sort of gang because of their strange behavior and closeness. The first one I had to deal with was the one that seemed to take on the leader role among them, Adagio Dazzle. Well I took her back and when I looked in her mouth, her teeth seemed to resemble Sunset's, they were full of cavities. I shook my head and asked, "Adagio, what the hell have you been eating? Your teeth are in horrible shape."

Well she went on to tell me about some parallel world and some mirror and suddenly it hit me. I studied a decent amount of history when I was in Celestia's school and I realized that these three could only be one thing, the sirens that Starswirl banished from our world so long ago. Of course I was not going to bring this up nor was I going to take them over to Twilight because if i have to, I can punish them much more severely.

Well she was a lot like Discord, she would shake her head around and bite down on my instruments while I was fixing her teeth. I eventually became so pissed at her that I smacked her and gave her a concussion. This made my job much easier and I was able to get her cavities filled but I would not be happy when I took her back out front. She didn't have a single bit on her and when I asked her for her insurance card, she handed me a student ID for Canterlot High School.

I got in her face and yelled, "What the hell is this?"

Well she went on about how the students at that school get free health and dental care with their IDs where they live. I smacked her again and yelled, "Well you ain't in that other world anymore little girl." I sighed and realized that I would have to get compensation from her in some other way. I didn't like her attitude, she was a bitch and she wasn't all that attractive, so I figured that she would make a good temporary custodian. She didn't like the idea at first but when I told her I would cut her wings off if I had to, she quickly changed her tune.

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Aria Blaze

While I was busy discussing with Adagio how she would compensate me I heard the other two sirens talking and my my, the one with pigtails is a total bitch! Given the personality of the other siren though I could see why she would behave in such a manner. Unlike with Adagio though, I asked her if she had anyway to pay me. I don't know where the hell she got them but she did hand me a couple of bits. Yeah this was not nearly enough to pay for her visit but given her personality, I decided that she could work her debt off by being my new accounts receivable clerk. Hey, having a total bitch do that job gets ponies to pay their bills more quickly, right?

Well I took her back and despite her being a total bitch the whole time, her teeth were in spectacular shape. Despite the good news and me only having to clean her teeth, she kept on bitching about it the whole time. While I wanted to smack that bitch into oblivion, I realized that if I was going to make her compensate me the way I wanted to, that I would have to be nice. After all, who would want to work for a complete asshole?

Once I got her out front I handed her a job application form to fill out because I would have to have a record that she did actually apply for a job since my ultimate plan is to give her a paying position once she has paid off her debt. Despite her snarly "whatevers" and other bitching and complaining, I wanted the bitchiest individual I could find working for me and she was the best one for the job.

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Sonata Dusk

Well Aria sat down and began to fill out the job application while I took the third siren back. This one seemed to be a whole lot different than the others. In my studies I learned that the sirens Starswirl banished were evil, but this one didn't seem nearly as bad as the others. She seemed almost sweet, innocent and naive. On the way back I said, "Let me guess, you don't have anyway to pay either."

She gave me a dorky little smile and said, "Uh, no."

I replied, "Well I'll still see you but you'll have to compensate me in one way or another."

She became very giddy and asked, "For realzies?"

It was at this moment when I realized why Aria was being such a bitch to her, such a positive personality would get on anypony's nerves. I'm not saying it is all bad but in excessive amounts it would drive a pony to kill.

When she opened her mouth I saw bits and pieces of hamburger, lettuce, cheese and taco shell stuck between her teeth. I asked, "I take it you got tacos before coming here."

She giggled, "Yes! If there is one thing I could never get enough of, it is tacos!"

I sighed, "I see. Well let's get to work here."

Luckily for me she didn't have any cavities but she did have gingivitis, which might be a problem later down the road. Well with what I have planned for her, she will brush three times a day as will the other two and all those who have to compensate me over the long term.

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My Plans

Once I was finished with Sonata I took her out front and I decided the time to tell these three what my plans were for them since they could not pay me. I began, "Adagio Dazzle, you will be my janitor until you pay off your debt." I knew that these three would likely face some sort of punishment if I took them to any of the princesses so I decided I had to give them jobs. I continued, "Once you have paid off your debt, you will become my paid janitor. The pay is not great but it will be enough for you to make it, well somewhat."

I turned to Aria and continued, "Aria, you will start work immediately as my accounts receivable clerk. Once you have paid off your debt, you will have a regular job. Your hours will be eight in the morning to five in the afternoon with a lunch break from twelve to one. Do not be late though, I harbor a pure hatred towards tardiness and I'm sure you don't want to face my wrath."

She asked, "Oh and what if I am late, loser?"

I smacked her and continued, "If you're late you little bitch I'll beat you like a rented mule and then haul your sorry ass over to Twilight's castle and she can deal with you." I glared at Adagio and continued, "Just as if you do a shitty job or don't show up, I'll do the same to you."

That must have struck fear into the hearts of those two because they suddenly lost their attitudes and became more respectful. I then looked at Sonata and finished, "Sonata, the only job you will have is making me happy and tell you what, if you make me extra happy, I'll buy you a taco."

She became beyond giddy, "For realzies? You'll get me a taco if I make you extra happy?"

I replied, "Yes, I will."

Now the three had nowhere to live and they did voice their concerns over that. Well I decided that I would just move Sonata in with me. After all, if she is to make me happy I want her available at all times. I also decided to move Trixie in with me as well since she has the same job. I had Aria and Adagio move into my rental where they would take over Trixie's lease and would cover the bills. Yes they protested and threw a fit but all I have to do is threaten them with hauling them over to Twilight and that quickly gets them back in line.

In the end I learned that Aria was bitchy with bum patients and they paid their bills quicker. I learned that Adagio was a good janitor and my oh my is Sonata good in bed. All I have to do is tell her I will get her a taco and she puts Trixie to shame. One fun thing about her, yanking on that ponytail of her's while she's making me happy causes her to let out the cutest, sexist squeal. The best thing about her though, she is the most submissive little thing I have ever known, and the best love slaves are the most submissive.