Colgate's Rants 2: The Antagonist Edition

by StormLuna

King Sombra

My next patient is by far the strangest. I have had some rather odd patients in Discord and Chrysalis but this one, King Sombra, topped them all when it came to being odd. When he first came in he said, "Dentisssssst! I need to see the dentissssst!"

When I saw him come in I pretty much knew that he most likely did not have any money on him so I pointed my hoof at the sign. He nodded his head and said, "Cryssssstals, I can pay you in cryssssstals!"

Well this immediately brought a frown to my face. I did know that with him though that I could not be my normal self but I didn't feel like having to wait to cash those crystals in. I said, "King Sombra, I am sorry but I do not accept crystals as a form of payment. I do have to make a living, I prefer cash." I saw that the pony from Canterlot who buys gems was set up across the street and I had an idea. I pointed my hoof across the street and said, "Your Majesty, go sell those crystals and come back. Then we can see what we can do."

Of course this did not sit well with him but given who I was dealing with, it did not really surprise me. Well he headed across the street and sold his crystals. When he came back in I saw his saddlebag was loaded with bits. I thought to myself, "JACKPOT!"

Well I took him back and holy shit his teeth were in bad shape. I asked, "King Sombra, what in the hell happened to your teeth?"

He replied, "Crysssstals! They broke my teeth!"

It was at this point that I realized that the legends I was taught in history class are true, that he actually eats crystals! Well anyway I realized that I was going to be in for a long, taxing weekend. I said, "King Sombra, your teeth are in such bad shape that you are going to need completely new teeth." I motioned for him to hand me his saddlebag full of bits and surprisingly he obliged without any problems. I continued, "Meet me here at five on Friday and I will give you a whole new set of chompers."

On Friday afternoon he showed up and all I could do is sigh in disgust. Why the hell didn't he stop eating crystals when he first noticed that they were breaking his teeth instead of waiting until every single one of the damn things were broken. Well I guess it will be worth it given he got 30,000 bits in exchange for all those black crystals.

Of course once I got him in the back he continued to move his head when I began to rip his old teeth out so I could put the new ones in. I could tell by the look on his face that he was scared. Yep, you heard that right, scared. Why the hell would an evil dark king be scared of anything! I guess he is just as much of a pussy as Discord was. Luckily for him though I will fully sedate him when I screw those new teeth in.

Eventually I just decide to sedate the wimp so I can get my work done without him constantly fidgeting and moving his head around. Despite him being in a peaceful sleep, it still took me until Sunday afternoon to finish my work as putting in full dental implants takes quite some time. The bastard better be lucky that he paid me in full in advance. Had he not had the money, I would have had to kill him for good which is something I'm sure Celestia would not have minded.

Comments

[Twilight sparkle565]

even a evils dark king is scare of the dentistrainbowlaugh:

[StormLuna]

11003965

Of course, Sombra's teeth were in horrible shape, naturally he would be scared.