• Published 7th Aug 2015
  • 20,096 Views, 594 Comments

Fall of the Caribou - KnightMysterio



An interpretation of what most likely REALLY happened when the caribou invaded Equestria.

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Comments ( 594 )

That was beautiful. And realistic.

Well written and made me laugh as well as cheer. Always nice to see someone tear FoE apart and you did a great job.

Never read the fic this so lovingly destroys.

Never going to.

Can I pet Cuddlewumps?

I'll be the first to say that this was a wonderfully written story! And while I hate to be "that guy", I felt I should point this out:

“Three Earth ponies, one pegasus,” Twilight said, smiling. “Party Favor, Double Diamond, Sugar Belle, and Night Glider.”

Just putting it out there, Sugar Belle is a Unicorn.

It seems that no matter where I look these days, 'fall of equestria' content just seems to be laying in wait to test my vomit reflex.
With all the disturbing 'foe' creations infesting corners of the fandom like a purifying fungus, reading a semi-rationalised deconstruction like this feels like such a breath of fresh air... or perhaps more like detergent for the brain.
Thank you KM, you've made my evening.

6294433 It was pointed out to me on tumblr and I have since corrected the issue. But thank you!

My goodness......"And you will know my class is Medic when I lay my Uber Heavy down upon thee."

Favorited for the protection of the cute ponies!

As for that sergeant... in addition to removing his antlers, remove his penis and testicles, his tongue, and his hands. Put him a dress and then put him in stocks in the center of town.

that seems kind of overkill, even considering the fucked up shit they planned to pull.

“COME BACK! DON'T RUN!” Princess Luna cackled, riding on the back of her shoggoth. “MISTER CUDDLEWUMPUS JUST WANTS TO HUG YOUR BRAINS!” The legion of caribou warriors she was chasing just screamed in terror and kept running, the shoggoth's burbling and Luna's mad laughter following them down the streets.

i would question where in the fuck luna got the shoggoth and why its her friend but its funny as shit and she's older then i can probably count so i'll excuse it.

Prince Blueblood scoffed. “I am many things, little buck,” he said. “I am a fop. A dandy. A 'lazy bum.' A snob who looks down on the lower classes. And I admit that I am something of a racist and a misogynist, which I presume is what gave you fools the idea to come to me in the first place. I concede that all of the above is true. But one thing I will never be is a traitor.” He finished loading his guns, and pointed them at the three caribou officers, his face becoming a glare. “I was NEVER on your side, you fools! I will NEVER betray my country to a bunch of rape-happy imbeciles like you!”

...heh, for once i respect bluederp.

Read, liked and faved for a realistic take on the story of any fool trying to conquer a land that is lead by the immortal driving forces of the Sun and Moon themselves, is the home of the Lord of Chaos and owns a god-damn orbital rainbow laser of mass stoning!

Also I laughed pretty hard at Rudolph, Mr Cuddlewumpus, that Luna actualy tried to eat someones backside and the little part with Blueblood. Oh and the end with the little girl was sweet. *applaudes*

Comment posted by KnightMysterio deleted Aug 8th, 2015

I loved this story, and almost shed a tear at the happy end. The way the momma doe spoke to her child was just so damn cute. I especially loved how hopeless the situation was for the caribou, and was sent keeling over at the fire-breathing roosters. Goddamn, even Prince Muthafuckin' Blueblood was likeable, and for that I respect you good sir. Faved, liked, and followed.

6294549
On the other hand...

Let him serve as an example of what happens to those who invade us with cruelty in their hearts.

An example to whom? The Empire is (almost?) exclusively inhabited by ponies. At most he'll be a public attraction for ponies to insult and throw rotten fruits at. It would be more of an example of the Empire's leaders being capable of cruelty themselves, in this case in response to personal insults. Probably not the message they want to send to their own ponies.

like a cleansing flame, your story immolates the putrid scourge of FOE stories with rationale and awesomeness. i applaud you with righteous gratitude. pony on dear knightmysterio, pony on.

p.s. i had no idea what a shoggoth was, so i googled it and now i have a strange urge for grape jelly on boiled octopus, that cant be tasty.

6294433
6294459 Party Favor's also a unicorn, he's just not seen using magic.

Comment posted by KnightMysterio deleted Aug 8th, 2015

6294598 The error has subsequently been corrected.

Shining Armor slapped the cleric. “In the past couple years, I have had my body warped and distorted by Discord, had my mind enslaved by Queen Chrysalis of the changelings, had my horn corrupted by King Sombra's magic and becoming crippled because of it, had ALL my magic, my very SOUL, ripped out and devoured by Tirek, and a bunch of other things I really don't want to think about. Do you really think I'd be stupid enough, after all that, not to take steps to protect my mind, my soul, my self, my family, my home, my PEOPLE from ever having anything like that happening to them again!?” he shouted. Several Crystal ponies beamed in pride at their Emperor's words, while Cadance just smiled lovingly at him.

THANK YOU! Even if this did took place after season 3. This is the main why I found FoE so unbelievable

Shining Armor stared at him for a long moment and said, “Dude, I get all that anyway.”

Not going to lie I had a similar joke in mind.

Now this is how you write a "Fall" of Equestria story! Well done, indeed! Kudos to you, dear sir!:ajsmug:

6294433 So is Party Favor.

So that's 2 unicorns (Party Favor and Sugar Belle (hmmm, wonder if she's distantly related to Rarity and Sweetie, with a name like that)), 1 pegasus (NIght Glider) and I earth pony (Double Diamond).

It's nice to see you not buried under the downvotes even Post-FoE gathers for daring to mention such a thing even exists. :twilightsmile:

However, I'm going to stay far away from this story still. Post-FoE is just not for me, you see. I love FoE itself, and I don't have a problem with anyone who wants to write Post-FoE pieces, to return your own commendable notion, but I doubt I'll enjoy any of it. And what sense is there in reading something you won't end up liking?

Cheers!

I'm...not sure what I think about this fic honestly.

It's one of the best 'Fall of Equestria revenge fics' I know of, and I like that the Caribou turned out to be more than one note monsters and got redeemed in the end.

I liked Blueblood and Chrysalis.

A lot of the characters are in character.

And I LOVED that Celestia was treated as she SHOULD be and how bad flank she ACTUALLY is shown through.

On the other...ponies executing the Caribou they've already beaten, while I get WHY, feels kind of cold. It doesn't sit right with me. Not because the Caribou don't deserve it, they DO, but that it feels out of character for the PONIES.

So good over all, and does a lot of things I like, but there's still a few things that annoyed me.

You, sir, I like.

herp #26 · Aug 8th, 2015 · · 12 ·

6294602
you're kind of just making excuses, no one said anything about the person being punished better, just that the person doing the punishing made up a reason for it that doesn't make sense and only exists as a flimsy excuse to vent his anger.

6294633 You ... love that ridiculous, sick-minded abomination?!:pinkiesick::ajbemused::facehoof:

Dude, I have absolutely no words for that, except ... to each their own, I guess.:ajbemused:

6294641 ...*sighs*

Fair enough. I'll not defend it any longer.

I hope the fic was enjoyable otherwise.

Comment posted by KnightMysterio deleted Aug 8th, 2015

6294646
Yes, I do. And yes, to each their own.

I don't like most Spike-Harem fics out there, but I don't make a habit of calling them stupid.:raritywink:

6294655
Ah, well, I meant Post-FoE as a matter of categorisation, not an indication of it necessarily being situated after the Fall. Post-FoE, the group thats is, has a folder for stories dealing with the Fall never happening in the first place, such as this one.

My apologies for any confusion due to my initial wording!

6294667 It's okay. I realized I misunderstood your post almost immediately after you posted it. *nodnods*

6294660 Not to start a fight or anything but most Spike harem fic ain't about the main character being raped or dumb down.

6294660 Okay, and true.
And although I see your point, I think that this is one that we'll just have to agree to disagree on.

Oh, me, neither!
On both points.

6294690
Well... that honestly depends. But this isn't the place to talk about that, now is it? :pinkiehappy:

6294702
Agree to disagree!

wlam #37 · Aug 8th, 2015 · · ·

That Caribou "setting" is the stupidest and most disgusting thing ever and I really, really hate it. I don't have anything to say for the story, but I am glad someone agrees that it's a ludicrous and awful waste of server space.

6294622 Though, considering the caribou did cut horns off, they may have identified as earth ponies upon their arrival. cursory glances can miss crucial details.

6294746 In this case I just forgot what tribe they were. Starlight Glimmer got the four of them out before they were mutilated.

A interesting take, though I honestly think that any invasion would have both success and failure. And this one had only failure for the Caribou.

6294716 Cool!

6294746 Hmmm, true.
Although I think that 6294751 just explained it.

6294328 AFAIK, there's not "a canon fanfic"; the guy who started it (mod at the Fall of Equestria group) simply stated his idea and people decided to write about it.

6294758 Starlight Glimmer's village was taken. When she released the Cutie Marks to try and give her people the strength to fight back, she underestimated how damaged they were by her brainwashing. It just made them EASIER to conquer, as the return of their cutie marks traumatized them and distracted them from their fights. The four named ponies who helped the Mane Six (Party Favor and the rest) were the only ones mentally sound enough after regaining their marks to respond to Starlight's call for escape.

Plus, there are other cities I didn't show. Granted, those cities surrendered once Celestia showed up with King Dainn's head, but your assumption is a correct one for some of them.

I can't put this on my favorites list, because anything connected to F.o.E really isn't my usual cup of tea. But I'm definitely upvoting it, because 1) I agree with the underlying premise; 2) it accomplishes its stated goal with some real flair.

=====

6294635 On the one hand, I agree with you that it would be out of character for ponies. On the other hand, this is a piss-take on an *anthropomorphized* fanfic world, so they aren't really ponies here. And considering the incredibly nasty stuff that happens in the F.o.E. stories, this pretty much fits right in.

Standing ovation:moustache:

Wow, featured with only being posted a few hours ago! Congrats, dude!

Eh, it feels too easy. I mean, I know you went for a "realistic" portrayal of what would actually happen, but it just feels one-sided to the point like it makes Fall of Equestria look ridiculous by how easy the pony race won in this story. But, in actuality its this stories short-comings that cause it.

At least in Fall of Equestria it makes more sense, because the ponies of Equestria are more peaceful and blind to violence and are always looking for "better" ways to solve issues. While the Caribou just take over without any diplomacy. I don't care if they have a Dragoneques chaos being or the elements of harmony. They were still outclassed in combat and war.

And Chrysalis, for all her faults, was a master tactician.

This is probably the funniest joke in the story, since this 'Master Tactician' failed to get decent intel on her infiltration target, failed to post reliable guards on her prisoners, and lost because she failed to pay attention to the brainwashed slave who was the lynchpin of her plan.

The Trials of a Necromantic Equestria is the only good caribou invasion story I've encountered so far. It involves a lot of caribou dying, and the only reason they won in the first place was because they developed magic nukes when they were having their collective asses handed to them.

“We don't have an answer either, your highness,” said one of the caribou warriors. “The only thing different about us is that all of us are virgins. Our commander said we had yet to 'earn' the right to rape a woman.”

Not what I was expecting. I thought it was going to be about the capacity of the Element-ed to accept that they had done evil--and desire to change--when presented with it and their own nature in unfiltered truth. I figured NMM's banishment was due to hesitation on Celestia's side and NMM being only a part of Luna (albeit the controlling part); Discord refused to accept (or was too insane to accept) that he had done wrong; the vast majority of the caribou refused to accept their wrongdoings because they would have to acknowledge that they had done evil; and the ones remaining unstoned were better able to look themselves in the eye, see themselves, and decide not to be that person anymore. The Elements helped them make that change.
Or they would have, if that's how they actually worked. I need to remember that idea.

The legion of caribou warriors she was chasing just screamed in terror and kept running, the shoggoth's burbling and Luna's mad laughter following them down the streets.

Stopstopstop! You'll drive your ponies insane, too!

“And that is the story of how the Good King Rudolph came to power, and why our nation remains an ally of Equestria to this day,” finished the mother.

The young caribou child was in wide-eyed wonder at the story. “Wow... So King Dainn was real? He isn't just some boogeyman story?”

Wow indeed. How the hell did she manage to tone it down enough to be a bedtime story?

6294995 The caribou that were left unstoned hadn't 'crossed the final line.' That's why they were spared.

Plus, the doe mother, if she was born a pony, would have a cutie mark for editing. :3

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