• Member Since 18th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 20th, 2014

Theatre Pony 66


T

A thousand years ago a secret organization kept Equestria safe from a dangerous threat. Now they’re forgotten and their numbers are running thin, though that is all about to change when they receive a new member.

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I do not own any characters or places from My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 45 )

Interesting story, I am looking forward to future chapters from you. On a different note, I noticed a slight error "If she truly does not have anypony she can spear down the road.” i believe that you meant to use spare instead of spear. Other than that keep up the good work.

Missing commas.... missing commas everywhere....
Other than that, it seems like an interesting idea.

648853 K thanks fixed it and that for the review

Intriguing :rainbowderp: that ending bit spiked (lol) my interest 20 fold :rainbowkiss: Can't wait to read more!

Great prologue to my eyes despite the few errors that I would surely miss:pinkiehappy: great work and to let you know, this exact prologue pushed me to finally make an account and I'd like to thank you for that:ajsmug:

Now where was I, oh yes, Very good in my eyes, *Rubs fake moustache* Very good indeed....:moustache:

652433 Thank you very much, and wow I fell inspired and honor that u was able to inpire you to make an account. I will try and keep up the good work.

652476:scootangel: Now..... I feel......... 20% COOLER! thx and wow, we're speaking alot to each other basically only met minutes ago, I've just made a great and new friend!

Annnnnnnd tracking

709082 Thank you for the comment

Very nice, though I wonder when the Mane 6 will come in

717012 Thanks, They will come into the story later down the line.

Even more intrigued than with the prologue now :rainbowkiss: great work! I feel Spike's character was rather spot on. :moustache:

Can't wait for the next ^^

718938 Thank you very much i try my best to get the charcters writen correctly

Like hows this story is going, AND wow, nowI wonder how Twilight is and if she ever learned to clean, I still sorta laughed at the realization that Spike has to do chores in all of his multiverses, even when he doesn't live and know Twilight. I guess it's his destiny, make me wonder, what if he had a cutie mark......O.O:rainbowhuh:

Ahhhhh I'm finally reading this here instead of just on Skype!

Make dem weapons, Spike!
And drink dat booze, Azure and Greycoat
(lol I'm tired) :twilightoops::raritydespair::twilightsheepish::rainbowlaugh::pinkiecrazy::ajbemused::ajsleepy:
MOAR I SAY, MOAR! :flutterrage:

756100 Thank. and i can tell you sound pretty Tired. :rainbowlaugh:

Nice chapter :pinkiehappy: very intrigued to see where you're going with this :ajsmug:

795293 Thanks and you will soon see.

795426 Thanks, you will know more soon.

Woot, fighting and kick-assery! :rainbowdetermined2:

Some grammar and spelling stuff:
> concur
> ‘Okay
> immediately” : needs a period both times

I'm assuming this is happening right after Twilight's accepted as Celestia's personal student, and I'm sure I'll find out when I keep reading, because my interest is peaked. Unless Spike joins Twilight as her body-gaurd dragon, I wonder how Celestia would get the friendship letters to Twilight during Discord's breakout though...

> basically raised by basically
> strait

First I was like :rainbowlaugh: Spike's in a secret military base and he's still doing dishes! Then Spike got called to the commander and I was like :pinkiehappy: Spike gets to go to Twilight and help with Nightmare Moon. Then he was put with the blacksmith and I was like :twilightangry2:.

I loved Spike's prank, was that a reference to Mr. Deeds foot prank?

Well there's a period out of place, and you should check your dialogue for periods and such before ". I like how you've written Spike, but Blaze seems really out of place at a secret military base. A hot-head that focuses on the crowd instead of the battle, when things have already not gone his way, is a stupid soldier and shouldn't be the best fighter. I would think the best fighter would act more like Cedar: focused, quiet, and ingenuitive.

"I mean in the last year or two both Nightmare Moon and Discord returned and wreaked havoc and chaos over the land. Also I heard the commander says something about a failed invasion that happened during a royal wedding or something like that."
You skipped over everything I was hoping you would write about! Who was the new Rainbow Dash? How did Twilight Sparkle get her friendship letters to Celestia and back? The wedding pretty much stays the same, so eh. It seems like you've skipped straight to season 3 and the next manditory, ancient, sealed evil they have to fight.

878489 First of thanks for pointing out those mistakes as they have been fixed, and glad to see that you are liking the story. Sorry that I have passed time wise the first two seasons of the show without Spike As more will be revealed in the upcoming chapters. As well as more information about characters and why they are there. So glad to see you are enjoying the story and I hope you enjoy the twist and turns that this story takes Which soon be revealed in the next couple of chapters.

878813
Lol, I read what you said about me liking the story and realized I forgot to like it. :facehoof:

> you al to
> prepare. You are now all dismissed”
> be carefully,
> flame cover sword
> “Man he really : ponies, so you should probably find a different way to word that
> weapons”.
> Steel said as he watched several members of the guards take the weapons that would be needed for the ponies that would be traveling across Equestria as he followed them out of his work shop and through the castle till they reached the doors that lead to the outside of the castle. =
huge run-on sentence.
> Spike starred the ceiling
> When he then hear his door suddenly burst open. : Ow
> and qucikly walked
> the younfg dragon.
> scrolls containtg basic beginers sword fighting technqiues because you never knowwhat you may encounter on the road”. Steel said as he opened a chest on the cart and saw that it was farily empty.
Okay, just copy and paste your entire story into microsoft word, open office, etc. and run the spell check before you publish the chapter. It will help with the spelling, but poor grammar and word choice such as "be carefully," and "flame cover sword." will still get through. Also, consider checking the Editor/Proof Readers group for someone new to edit/beta/preread your work. Just look through the list of memebers and PM some of them.

Spike seems to be getting a little Marty Stue, so maybe take out the flame and growing enchantments (he won't need a sword when he's as big as an Ursa Major anyway), as well as the gems. There's no real reason for a blacksmith to have gems unless he made decorative weapons. Spike will be fine against Timberwolves and such with just a sword and fire-breath. These are just my opinions though, disregard them at will. Not the spelling and grammar stuff though, fix that ASAP.

Like where this is going, keep at it.

886993 thanks for the mistakes unforunatelyI do not have word per say only computer so you know its harder to find mistakes. So I will go and makes those corrections so ASAP as well as take those points into consideation.

887120 Thank you will check that site now before I post.

887469 Thanks and yes the Spike and Cedar interaction will be interesting.

1049500 thanks for the comment and yes i will leave you hanging. :trollestia:

Spike popping out like Pinkie Pie = funny
random stuff about background ponies = meh
'surprise' attack to test skills = not surprising because of Cedar's attitude, but still good
Timberwolf cliffhanger = Cedar's got this unless you force him to mess up and break a leg, ankle or something. You should probably just let Cedar take care of most of them and have Spike flail wildly and happen to take one out.

Nice weapon and armor ideas :rainbowdetermined2:
I wonder how it's gonna go when they find Spike in that box....

LOL Spike got punk'd by Cedar :rainbowlaugh:

I mean lets be honest what else could happen.”

Murphy hears it and grins and says what doomsday event should happen today

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