• Member Since 10th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen Aug 22nd, 2023

Inkwell Prose


Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah I'm a giraffe.

E

With the rest of her family out of town on a business trip, Applejack decided to bring back old memories as a little filly and have a sleepover with her friends! Too bad they're all busy... except for one. But it's gonna take some convincing to get this mare anywhere near a sleepover.

EDIT: I went through and fixed grammar mistakes and errors in the first two chapters. The third will be grammatically correct before upload. Thanks for all the support!

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 44 )

So far so good! Though there are a few mistakes with the quotation marks.

6291610 I'll talks a gander tomorrow for grammatical mistakes. Editing today was word format and placement. Fixing sentences that didn't make sense and other problems. Thank you!

6291615

You're welcome Inkwell!

I look forward to the next installment!

6291619 GLad You are! I plan on typing it maybe tomorrow?

MYAR!!!!

Also, great story!!!:pinkiehappy:

6291633

Good to hear. I should really start typing up my own story...

Interesting. I look forward to more. :twilightsmile:

Sleepovers in this series always end in fights, fallen trees and nightmares come to life. :pinkiegasp:

And you didn't make my Grammar Nazi half have a conniption fit, impressive. :pinkiecrazy:

Interesting.
I like!

6291710 This sleepover is gonna end a little differently. Spoilers are already appearing in the cover photo.

6292001

I figured. :raritywink:

I was just making assorted random commentary... or is it random? :pinkiecrazy:

This is going to be interesting!

AJ should've tried the apple cider approach with Rainbow Dash. :ajsmug:

6293572 :rainbowderp: Did somepony say cider?!

That would've been very effective as well, but I like the idea of Rainbow having a secret attraction to rom/com movies

A fine beginning, I say. I shall await continuation! And cuddles.

If there is no cuddling, I shall be very disappointed.

I rather liked the way you formatted the newspaper articles, specifically and Rainbow enjoying Romcoms. Although I perhaps wouldn't have minded you showing Applejack wanting a sleepover a bit more.

There are one or two little grammar/typo things I picked up, but not so many that it was aggravating. At least, not for me. I'm not so much a grammar nazi as a grammar hippie.

6294064 I'm really glad you enjoyed my story. And yes, you shall not be a disappointed pony:raritywink:

True I could've made Applejack wanted it a bit more....

And I love how I did the articles too. Idea just came to me.

Also the rom/com idea was just too perfect:rainbowlaugh:

6293797 That is my downfall too. :twilightblush:

I made a mistake....reading this before its even completed...:fluttercry: So far the story is sounding nice. Can't wait to see what else you have for us!

It's not a bad story but you keep switching tenses, going from past-tense to present-tense. It's one of the most disjointed things you can do to a story and makes it really hard to read. I'm not a critic or a proof reader so you should bring this to someone else who can do a quick QC of your work.
Clean it up and keep writing, I always like a cute Appledash fic :twilightblush:

6294921 Awww. I hope to have more up soon:twilightsmile:

6294926 I knew I was probably doing that. When I did my self-edits I fixed quite a few cases of that. *sigh* Hope my editor is available. Been busy lately.

Nicely done. :twilightsmile:

Only problem: Romantic comedies... :pinkiesick:

This was you first?!?! Wow this was really good for a first. No, that sounds slightly insulting. It was really good regardless if it was ur first of these types of stories.

6948258 Well thank you:twilightsmile:

I'm glad you enjoyed it.:pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Inkwell Prose deleted Feb 18th, 2016

Rainbow Dash being into Romcoms, didn't see that coming:rainbowkiss:

This your first shipfic? I have to say, good effort.

My only constructive feedback would be that the part about AJ"s feeling's for Rainbow Dash felt so sudden and glossed over when it was mentioned. I feel like it should've been given it's own paragraph, given it's a rather important plot point

The cuddling was cute and I loves me some AppleDash like I loves me a Custard Doughnut. I look forward to seeing more ^^

6967119 Not necessarily my first shipfic, but my first real in-depth one, yes.

Thank you for your feedback. It will help me better write in the future.:pinkiehappy:

Also, yes, the cuddling was adorbs!:rainbowkiss:

This is so overused...but it is still VERY MUCH CUTE:pinkiesmile:

(sarcasm) No one ever ask Spike about that.

6969323 Spike was still in his bedroom with his Rariplush:raritywink:

If you don't get that, you haven't read one of my other stories

Aww, this is the kind of adorable fluff that I love. Love it:pinkiesmile:

Aw sweet... A really mushy gushy one that's for sure... :rainbowwild:

NICE!!!! i like this story very much, and.. where's spike? :rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy:

Now I want to read a appledash clopfic.

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