Kindness
KINDNESS
(Give me the strength to protect the ones I love!)
“Holy horseapples! Is Fluttershy okay?!” Applejack asked as she immediately stood up upon seeing the two Pegasus as they landed near her and lay Fluttershy down whom was still unconscious.
“Her life's not in danger anymore at least.” Ericka replied looking at the farm pony as she rushed over to Fluttershy's side.
“It's all my fault... I caused her to get like this.” Rainbow Dash remarked guilty as she looked away now.
“Darn tootin it's all your fault! Best be glad she's not in worse shape after what ya said to her! Why ah outta-”
“Now is not the time to be tossing blame or getting bitter with one another! So shut the buck up Applejack and listen for a few minuets!” The farm pony exclaimed with a glare looking back at the cyan blue Pegasus now only for Ericka to cut her off and glare back at the farm pony.
“Richard and Twilight are being forced to fight right now because of Josh holding Pinkie Pie hostage! We need to find Pinkie Pie and that psycho as quickly as possible.” Ericka finished looking at the farm pony whom quickly quieted herself.
“Ah'm hopin you won't expectin Fluttershy to walk the whole way.” Applejack remarked looking back at the sleeping yellow mare.
“Of course not. That's why I was hoping you would look after her while me and Rainbow Dash run ahead.” Ericka replied feeling slightly insulted by the farm pony's assumption.
“Ah can do that. Just be careful, the both of ya.” Applejack replied to which the two nodded and flew ahead.
--------------------------------------------------
Richard and Twilight stood staring at each now, neither one making a move. “I hope you realize that I'm not doing this because I want to, but I won't hold back either. Josh will know if I do.” Richard said looking at the lavender unicorn now.
Upon hearing this Twilight let out a dejected sigh. “Are you sure it has to be this way? Josh is most likely pitting us against each other in hopes that we kill one another, you realize this right?”
“Of course I do! I'm not an idiot. But until Pinkie Pie is safe and sound, I have no choice. So let's do this.” Richard replied as his horn glowed brightly.
“Fine.” Twilight replied as her horn glowed brightly as well.
(Play magical combat now and repeat as much as desired)
Twilight was first to make her move with her signature teleportation magic, disappearing in a flash of magic and reappearing right behind Richard already in the middle of a magical charge and fired it moments later to which Richard saw at the last possible moment and cast a magical barrier protecting himself and countered with a magical beam of his own to which Twilight teleported to evade.
“He's not half bad for a human in a unicorn's body.” Twilight remarked to herself as she reappeared above him in preparation for a magical volley against the red unicorn.
“You'll have to do better than that Twilight Sparkle!” Richard exclaimed as he looked above at Twilight his horn glowing brightly.
Just as Twilight was about to cast her volley she sensed a great deal of magic being concentrated from above, turned her head to look in to the northeast of herself and gave a startled gasp. “He concentrated that from all the way down there?!” The lavender unicorn thought to herself dramatically and quickly teleported to evade the beam only to reappear and see yet another magical beam dead in front of her and cast a protection spell around her at the last second, barely staving off the second attack.
“Okay I stand corrected, he's very good for a human in a unicorn's body!” The lavender unicorn remarked to herself as she turned around to cast a volley of magical beams at Richard only to not see him standing behind her. She then looked up to see the red unicorn above her with up to five concentrated balls of magic floating around him and gave a shocked gasp as he sent them soaring strait for her.
Twilight had no time to dodge this attack nor conjure a shield so she was hit with the blunt of the attack giving a pained cry as it connected with her body followed by another as her body hit the ground a few feet away.
“I thought you're special talent was magic? Or are you holding back? I already told you to come at me with your full strength! Because if you don't...!” Richard exclaimed as he focused magic into his horn and sent a volley of magical beams at the lavender unicorn. “You'll be dead before Ericka and Rainbow Dash find Pinkie Pie!”
“He's dead serious... I just thought he was throwing witty banter around in case Josh was listening in.” Twilight thought to herself as she conjured a magical circular shield in front of her to protect herself from the volley of magical beams.
“Fine, I won't hold back anymore!” Twilight exclaimed as she conjured over twenty magical balls of magic around her much to Richard's shock, but instead of soaring at him like his had, they all began to fire magical beams of magic at him.
The red unicorn was suddenly put on the full defensive now shielding himself from some of the beams while using teleportation to evade others. “Damn, guess I should be careful for what I ask for!” Richard thought to himself as he continued to evade and shield himself against the magical beams.
Twilight then fired the balls of magic at the red unicorn which were still firing their own magic at him as they attempted to collide with him and exploded upon impact with the ground as he evaded them. “Too much for you Richard?” Twilight shouted beaming with pride at her magical skill as the red unicorn continued to struggle to evade her attacks.
“Not at all! I'm just getting warmed up!” Richard exclaimed as he disappeared in a flash of magic, reappeared above her, conjured a short dagger on his hoof and dove down at the unicorn.
Twilight conjured a barrier to stave off the red unicorns attack but as she looked at him through her barrier, she could see it in his eyes. The eyes of a desperate stallion wanting to protect the mare he loves so badly that he's willing to kill to protect them. Richard than focused magic into his horn and channeled it into the dagger increasing its strength ten fold. This was made obvious by the sudden crack that appeared on Twilight's barrier to which she closed her eyes and sighed. “If this fight drags on for too long, we really will end up killing each other...”
Celestial seal...release.
--------------------------------------
Princess Celestia gave a startled gasp now as she hovered in the skies having narrowly evaded the Alicorn's attack. “What is that unicorn thinking?! I placed that seal on her for her own safety! She's not ready to control that much magical power!” Celestia exclaimed sensing her pupil’s action and then sighed. “Has the fight below gotten that bad?” Celestia asked herself aloud worriedly.
-----------------------------------
Shatter!
The lavender unicorn's barrier crumbled beneath the brute force of Richards attack only for to his own shock and surprise to connect directly with the bottom of Twilight's hoof yet it did not pierce it or cause her to bleed. “You really do intend to fight me to the death don't you?” Twilight asked softly though her voice sounded saddened as she asked this with her eyes still closed and facing the ground.
“I already told you, I have no choice!” Richard exclaimed as he channeled magic into his horn.
“Then neither do I.” Twilight replied her voice still saddened as she looked up at him and opened her eyes revealing them to be seemingly blank with a bright white magical light radiating from them. At this exact moment, a triangular glyph with the symbol of Twilight's cutie mark appeared under the lavender unicorn's feet.
“By the light of my cutie mark, through the hidden strength sealed long ago, I call upon my magic...” Twilight began to say trailing off as Richard teleported away from her to a safe distance.
“Is she vocally reciting a spell? I thought unicorns didn't have to do that?” Richard remarked curiously as he fired a magical beam at the lavender unicorn yet all Twilight had to do was raise a hoof and a circular magical shield appeared instantly blocking the attack with ease.
“Twilight... Sparkling... Light...” Twilight said as her horn began to glow so brightly that the magic radiating from her horn now was roughly five tens the width and height of her horn while magical sparks shot from it rapidly.
Richard finally managed to finish focusing magic into his horn and fired a large magical beam which scaled to be ten feet high and five feet wide.
FIRE!!!
The lavender unicorn shouted at which point her horn seemed to explode enveloping her in it as it continued to grow in size and height. Richard's magical attack was overpowered as if it were nothing as the magic from the lavender unicorn continued to expand.
“Oh....shhhiiiiiit!” Richard exclaimed as he turned tail to run only to be seemingly consumed by the magical light which continued to expand.
-------------------------------
Meanwhile in Josh's laboratory, all of Josh's systems were displaying overload errors and spontaneously crashing from attempting to register the amount of magical output in the area now.
“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what. The. Fuck?!” Josh exclaimed in both shock and outrage as he attempted to bring his systems back online. “Where the hell is the source of this tremendous magical power coming from?! Is it the elements of harmony?! No it can't be, the pink horse's trinket isn't glowing. Then what the hell is it?!” The scientist exclaimed as he brought up his surveillance monitors to see every single area in his underground base.
Upon opening the surveillance monitor of the area where Twilight and Richard were fighting his eyes widened in shock. He then double checked the last place his magical sensor systems detected a large spike of magic before they overloaded and crashed and couldn't believe his eyes. “There's no fucking way... a single damned horse can't have that much magical power! Celestia or Luna maybe, but a mere unicorn?!” Josh exclaimed in disbelief of what he was seeing just before his monitor began to crackle and then became static as the light grew close to it.
“That's it! Magical limiters back on! I'm not having that damned purple horse destroy half my base!” Josh exclaimed in outrage as he pressed a few buttons on his console.
It was then that Josh's proximity alarm went off and another monitor popped up on-screen showing Ericka and Rainbow Dash quickly closing in on his position. “Damn it, they've already found me?! Confound these ponies, they drive me to insanity!” Richard exclaimed slamming a fist on his console in frustration.
“What's wrong meanie pants? You're plans being foiled by my friends?” Pinkie Pie said to Josh knowing he could hear her with a smirk.
“How the hell would you know? You have magical telepathy or something?!” Josh retorted with a glare at Pinkie Pie's monitor.
“No silly, you turned the speaker on to my cell.” The pink mare replied followed by a giggle.
Josh then promptly pressed the button to shut off the speaker. “Damned pink horse... be glad I still have some use for you.” Josh remarked with a scowl as he walked through a door and down to Pinkie Pie's cell.
------------------------------------------
The light that was seemingly enveloping the area suddenly vanished with a flash revealing an unconscious Richard and Twilight whose eyes returned to normal seemingly suspended in the air till now and landed back on all four hooves. “I lost control again...” The lavender unicorn remarked guiltily and looked over at Richard whom while looked worse for ware, was breathing. “Josh re-enabled his magical limiters which saved me and Richard though I doubt that was his intention.” Twilight remarked as she walked over to Richard and sat beside him.
I'll need to ask the princess to apply her seal on me again when we get back...
-----------------------------------
Ericka and Rainbow Dash stopped just short of a steel door and nodded to one another. “You ready Rainbow? Remember, we can't play nice. It's kill or be killed from here on out.” Ericka replied with a serious look in her eyes.
“Only if it comes to that.” The cyan blue Pegasus replied confidently though Ericka could tell she wasn't fond of the idea of killing somepony much less anything living for that matter.
CRASH!!!
The steel door was bucked clear off its hinges through the combined efforts of both Pegasus and cautiously walked into the room. “Where the hay is he? You think he ran off like a chicken?” Rainbow Dash asked looking around the seemingly empty control room.
“Doubt it.” Ericka replied as she walked up to the console and began to press buttons though it was obvious from its design that it wasn't built for ponies so it made it difficult for Ericka to press singular buttons though she had a basic idea of how the console worked.
“You know how to work this thing?” The cyan blue Pegasus asked as she walked up next to Ericka whom was bringing up monitors and small windows on-screen.
“I have a good idea. We worked with consoles similar to this on my home planet, though this one is far more advanced by the looks of it. Ah-ha! Found it! This should even the playing field!” Ericka exclaimed confidently as she pressed a few buttons on the console and moments later big bold red letters displayed on-screen.
ANTI-UNICORN DEFENSES DISABLED
ANTI-PEGASUS DEFENSES DISABLED
“What did you do?” Rainbow Dash asked clearly unable to read the human language on-screen at the moment.
“Oh right, you can't read English. I disabled the magical limiters and those annoying magical fields that stopped us from being able to fly more than three feet off the ground.” Ericka replied with a triumphant smile.
“Awesome! Now that lame human has nowhere to run!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she did a quick areal back-flip in celebration of her lover's actions.
“We're not done yet, we still need to find Pinkie Pie.” Ericka replied as she continued to press buttons on the console bringing up different monitors until she stopped. “Oh, this looks useful!” Ericka remarked with a smirk.
“What did you find?!” The cyan blue Pegasus asked curiously.
“A wide-scale teleportation device. All I need to do is input a few location codes, define it for equine specie only, and... press!” Ericka replied and a mere second later Twilight, Richard, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity appeared in the room with a slight flash.
“Wait, if he had this thing all along, why didn't he just use to throw us in some deathtrap or something?” Rainbow Dash asked looking slightly confused.
“Probably because he wanted to screw with us and use creative ways to kill us. Let's just be thankful he was dumb enough to underestimate us.” Ericka replied as she turned around to look at the other five and gasped in shock at Richard's condition.
“How the hay did we get here?!” Applejack exclaimed looking around herself in confusion.
“He's injured but alive.” Twilight remarked as Ericka quickly looked over Richard's body.
“Yesh, you sure went all out against one another didn't you?” Ericka remarked followed by a relieved sigh.
“You could say that...” The lavender unicorn replied though she did her best to hide her guilty expression as she said this.
“Fluttershy's still out?” Rainbow dash asked with a concerned expression as she looked at her yellow friend.
“Yeah, though she's doin just fine by the looks of it.” Applejack replied with a smile.
Suddenly a monitor appeared on-screen showing Josh's smiling face. “Congratulations ponies! His first sentence sounding happy and then his expression and tone became morbid and ticked off looking.“You've successfully pissed me off.”
“Glad we did something right.” Ericka replied with a smirk to which the other five gave soft giggles upon hearing this.
“So in celebration of this turn of events, I have a wonderful surprise for you!” Josh continued his expression becoming happy again as spoke as if ignoring Ericka's remark as the screen panned over to a velvet red curtain. “And behind curtain...number... one!” Josh exclaimed enthusiastically as if he was a game-show announcer as he yanked the curtain down revealing Pinkie Pie chained to the wall unconscious. “ We have the hyperactive pink mare, Pinkie Pie! This mare gives a whole new meaning to the term, bouncing off the walls and is the love of Richard's life!” Josh continued keeping his game-show announcer act going as he enthusiastically spoke.
“Pinkie Pie!” Ericka exclaimed as she stared at the pink mare with a worried expression.
The screen then panned over to yet another velvet curtain. “And behind curtain... number... two!” Josh exclaimed as he yanked down the velvet curtain revealing Princess Luna herself unconscious and caged in the same cell Ericka recalled seeing her in prior to be nearly killed by Josh. “We have the lovely and beautiful Princess of night, Luna! This Alicorn carries a yarn of history longer than my arm and was once the dreaded and feared nightmare moon!” Josh continued at which point the screen panned to him. “And what lovely prize do we have for these two lovely contestants?” Josh said grinning ear to ear as he made a gesture to his left with both hands pointing a single finger on each one at which point the screen rushed over to reveal a strange-looking device which to Ericka looked like some sort of canon.
“An invention of my design! This baby here can reduce anything to ash in ten seconds flat! But sadly it requires ten minuets to charge up. Disappointing I know...” Josh exclaimed enthusiastically yet ending his statement on a seemingly feigned sad note. He then walked over to the side of the device and pressed a few buttons on it before he turned to look at the screen again. “So here's the fun game I have planned for you all. You have ten minuets to save one of them while leaving the other to a very ashy end!” Josh said at which point the screen panned back over to show Pinkie Pie and Princess Luna.
“Who do you save? The love of Richard's life or the princess of the night?!” Josh could be heard saying at which point the screen rushed back over to show the scientist in front of the canon again. “Not enough time to save them both sadly...” Josh said with a feigned sad expression and made a grandfather ticking sound along with a gesture with his hands as if his fingers were pendulums.
“Don't do it!” Twilight exclaimed dramatically but Josh ignored her completely, turned around, and pressed a single button on the cannon's console. “The timer starts now! Good luck everypony! Ha,ha, ha!” Josh exclaimed followed by a maniacal laughter before the screen disappeared and was replaced with a large numeral timer which was counting down from ten minuets.
“Why that no good rotten varmint! How dare he make us choose between them!” Applejack roared looking completely outraged while Twilight looked as if she was on the verge of tears as did Rainbow Dash.
Ericka stared at the timer now seemingly stunned by this turn of events...
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Like Batman Forever, there's no way to save both - it's one giant death-trap. >=3
2412393
While it wasn't my intention at first, the more I wrote that scene the more i felt it would add to Josh's "crazy scientist" personalty.
Wooh, a story that interests me. Finally. I saw your post in the writers group and thought since my editing schedule is relaxed right now I'll give your story a small run down. No I won't point out your mistakes unless they are glaringly obvious, but I'll give over all commentary.
2412613
awesome! Looking forward to it!
Well here is my full chapter by chapter light overview minus all the Grammer and flow comments.
Be glad that I like your story a lot and had a shit ton of time on my hands because I've got the king of all head colds right now and sick leave.
---------------------------------
Ch1: Re-write no pictures and 'specie' is spelled as species.
Ch2: Thinking should either be Italicized (in italics) or in ' not ".
Ch3: Nor much to change aside from the changing of thinking to italics.
Ch4: The pictures really degrade the story flow. Words always are better. if you must make a comic than do so with an actual drawer. And no offense the pictures look like photoshop and a bad animator had a sick love child...
Ch5: This is just a thought but Celestia seemed to react badly for no reason. Maybe put in that her presence disturbs more than they think. And again words, not pictures.
Ch6: The flash backs are alittle jarring and happen fast. They need to be more flowing and fit better with the story line. The second thing is I had to re-read the chapter to figure out if she told pinkie her story or not. It never said specifically if she told pinks or not.
Ch7: This chapter was not bad, only the stuff I've said earlier and a few flow and Grammar corrections and this is ok.
Ch8: I was again, disappointed by the pictures. The music lyrics was a nice touch though. (Are my shipping senses a tingling Dash 'n Cloud?)
Ch9: GAAAAH. PICTURES. MY OLD ENEMY WE MEET AGAIN...
Ch10: Not bad. Just the normal advice I gave a few chapters ago.
Ch11: Aaaaah the classic hand touches hand ship...
Ch12-16: Good. A few pictures here and there and the thinking needs to be Italicized, and you say 'the cyan mare' or the 'blue Pegasus' too much. Try her name just a tad more. Switching it up is good but not saying the name is bad. Other than that nice.
Ch17: Good nothing really to point out, but don't think your off the hook in needing a good editor.
Ch18: You always capitalize titles of chapters. Don't get lazy with me. The D'AWWW-abities. They hurt. So touching chapter and also the flash backs should be completely Italicized.
Ch19: Nooooo... Naht Lulu D: But good work.
Ch20: Noooo... Naht pictures... Stop being lazy and write teh words. You were doing so well.
Ch21: CELESTIA YOU BEEACH. And oh you pinky...
Ch22: To be frank the pictures ruined the dramatic ness of that scene. I just was looking at the pictures with a disappointed scowl. You need to re write the chapters with pictures. Again the normal editing.
Ch23: HOLY TITS OF CELESTIA PICTURES ANNOY ME. Nuff said.
Ch24: Grim reality mode engage. AND NO PICTURES HALELUYA.
Ch25: Nice scene with the terminal velocity remark. Well played. Aside from basic and alittle advanced editing this should be a perfect chapter actually.
Ch26: Very dramatic. That kinda compliment would shake me too. Again just grab an editor who is at least as persnickety as me and you could fix this chapter up in no time and make it perfect.
Ch27: ....
......
Cliffhanger'd...
AWWW man.
---------------------------------------------
Well there you have it. I hope you take this advice 'in hoof' and really improve this story. I really liked the concept and key scenes were fantastic. I was wondering, do you have an editor yet or doth thou needth one? (If you have one he should be fired.)
But thanks for the nice story. I'll track it with a fav, you already got mah like.
This is going to being interesting, ok we're going to need some badass to help!
I also call first dibs throwing Josh into an industrial grinder after we burn him with napalm and then throw the remains into an pit of red fire ants!
2413618 Dangit. I call putting what's left of Josh into a pudding and then throwing it into a timberwolf den.
And I win for the largest comment on this story.
*continues to bathe in glory*
2413670 Nice!
2413692 Thank you kindly. But seriously do you have an editor?
EDIT: And it should be nice, I AM a expirienced editor...
2413615
Wowzers!
Go, go, gadget super thank you reply button!
*Spam messages pop out instead*
But seriously, THANK YOU FOR THE DETAILED REVIEW!!!
More chapters will be coming soon!
2414398
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3684-rrtext.gif
2414398
One thing to note is that it starts off with the avatarish feel but i move away from that as time goes on.
I... HATE...CLIFFHANGERS!!!!!!!! NOW I'M GONNA BE TURNING IN MY SLEEP TILL I FINISH THIS STORY... sadly enough, this story actually inspired a mental fic relating to this story that would make a written version of it bad.
and we get AJ and fluttershy leaving the action behind, thank goodness they had that teleportation device to get them together. I was wondering how they'd get together seeing as twilight and rarity didn't have wings to even get as far as AJ and shy let alone get to the main battle. but now there faced with having to save both luna and pinkie with only time to save 1..... ya know what screw logic and save them both since there are no magic limiters maybe twilight can go all supernova and destroy the machine or teleport it away or something.... or just save pinkie and use the elements to save luna.
*sits and waits with arms crossed* not moving till i see how this ends I don't want to wait ;_;
2424271
Wouldn't it be easy to just teleport them to where they are now?
they have limiters deactivated, a pony full of magic, and a teleporter device right next to them...
I agree that this must be a giant death trap, but while liberating two ponies can take a bit of time, (it should not, but it could) destroying or changing the direction of a lethal device should not...
2427079
knowing how deathsia likes to add little surprises I wouldn't be surprised if josh is still there waiting to ambush them so it would take some time but as for teleporting they should to save time since erika remembers the cell she could give twilight a general idea of where its at too.
I like the pictures. Especially the cover. I know that's Reach in the background, but I don't care. It's used well.
2415481
Update? Please?
4417542
You fail to see it from her perspective. At the present time, she's having a sort of identity crisis. She started out on this mission for a simple field research and found so much more. And as you've read(or will read) she enjoys living life as a pony more than she does a human being.
So in short, she's sees the vessel she's currently inhabiting as "herself". So to see so many dead versions of "herself" laying in a ditch would be traumatizing.
7083915
oh don't worry, i'll be continuing this sooner or later but my main focus is on sweetie belle's small problem and another fic right now.
Welp, now to go die from the suspense.