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Chapter 1: Realisation2,901 words
Chapter 2: Friend...2,508 words
Chapter 3: Or Foe?2,374 words
Chapter 4: Honesty2,929 words
Struggling To Survive3,841 words
Epilogue: Moving on638 words

Chapter 3: Or Foe?

Tips for escaping the friendzone include:
getting to know the target
and getting to know the competition,
before promptly "showing 'em who's boss."
It is vital to make your self known as a potential candidate for affection,
thus, it is prudent to "up" one's game level.
Though you have friends to help you, brother, there will also be many foes.
Ponies who shall stand in the way of you and your goal.
Try and win the favour of your lover, over that of your enemies.
And above all,
crush the foe's dreams in the process.

"NOOOOO!" Soarin's voice cried out as he, Spike and Discord appeared in in the middle of the market of square.

The head of everypony in the immediate area turned in alarm at the source of the scream. There, surrounded by a circle of ponies, stood Spike, Discord and Soarin, wide-eyed. Their eyes darted guiltily from one shocked face to the next, before Spike and Discord turned their heads to glare at Soarin.

Soarin, feeling dreadfully sick, stood as tall as he could manage and cleared his throat. "Hmm, I mean...No! Oh no, the cabbage stall has run out of...erm...cabbages?"

Spike burried his head in his claws while Discord rolled his eyes. No doubt the princess Twilight Sparkle would hear about the three numbskulls who'd caused some unnecessary ruckus, upsetting and disturbing the innocent shoppers. Everypony seemed to find something to complain about, no matter how petty. However, much to their relief, everypony just nodded to each other and smiled. The cabbage stall running out of cabbages, was definetely reason to cry out in pained dismay.

Having narrowly escaped any trouble from that unfortuante mishap, the three collected themselves and ran behind one of the buildings facing Sugar Cube Corner. There, in the distance, was Rairty. Quickly Spike, knelt down pulling out a piece of parchment and quill from his trench coat pocket, spreading them out across the dirt floor. He then proceeded to carefully note the time of day.

"Okay it's, 2 O'clock now," Spike consulted whilst deep in his own thoughts, "She's probably going back to the boutique."

He turned around to more formally address his friends. "Any opinions?"

Soarin was hunched over an empty barrel, hawking up something from the back of his throat. Discord looked on in concern, as he patted Soarin on the back. He then turned his face to look down at Spike, who was still waiting for a reply, before he knowingly did something stupid.

"None here, captain." Discord shrugged, "Lead on."

Rather than putting Soarin through teleportation sickness again, the three made their way over to Rarity's home as quickly as possible. Rarity was still quite some way away, so they had plenty of time to put Spike's plan into action.

...Which was?

Spike gulped and turned to walk away. "Um, great job guys," he said, rather unconvincingly, "let's...erm, call it quits and go home."

"Oh no!" Soarin yelled, "I did not get put through teleporting twice just for you to wimp-out! Now go and get on her good side!"

Spike knew Soarin was right, he had to get this over with. But there a feeling, a sickening ache, in the back of his mind that that told him he'd regret it. It'd be better to live life alone with a dream, than to have it crushed and still have to live without any hopes. Rarity was everything he'd dreamed about since he got to Ponyville! If that went...what would he do with himself?

He could at least try. He wasn't going to escape the friendzone by waiting, Celestia knows how long he's already waited to build up some courage. Spike was a very noble person, and would risk anything for a friend in need. He was courageous when doing what was necessary, because he didn't worry about himself. But love was a completely different matter. He could be flying one moment and then come plumiting down in depression the next (metaphorically speaking).

But no. He'd taken the initiation. He was going to see this through! He was going to escape the friendzone, if it meant getting Rarity to like him, or it meant giving up...and he really hoped it wouldn't come to that.

"Okay," Spike mummbled in defeat, "what should I do? Look in the guide?"

"Please Spike, personally I think that thing is a recipe for disaster. You need to try something fresh!" said Discord.

"Like what?" Spike asked weakly.

"Like this."

Operation: get Rarity to notice Spike so he can can ask her out
Step 2: Playing it cool

With a snap of his fingers, Discord trashed the coats, scarves and hats. Discord then proceeded to look Spike up and down, a measuring tap drapped lazily over his shoulders. He took a step back and with one eye shut, measured Spike against his thumb for a sense of perspective. Spike was confident that Discord had no idea what he was doing, but it certainly looked proffesional.

"For starters," Discord mummbled, a look of concentration etched across his brow, "you gotta look the part."

Soarin picked up on where Discord was headed with this. "Hey, yeah! Rarity loves fashion right?"

Spike perked up at the thought. "So what did you have in mind?"

Discord tapped his thumb against his chin, before sharing his thoughts with the group.

"Bad boy." Discord said, a sly grin coming across his face.

"Bad boy?" Spike said, doubt riddled in his expression.

"Of course," Discord explained, taking the two into his confidence, "Spikey-Wikey here is a dear sweet fellow. He's humble, and bends to the will of those he cares most for. He's innocent and well...too nice."

"Excuse me?"

"You're too sweet. Yes Rarity likes class, and a good gentlecolt, but inside she has a burning desire for adventure. Someone to make her his without being so mushy. 'A diamond in the rough', in a sense."

"So you're saying, Rarity doesn't like-like me because I'm kind, sweet and pure of heart."

"Basically."

"What the crap dude! What girl doesn't want that?!"

"A girl who is a lot more complex than you think..."

Spike finally let up. The worst part about this whole ordeal was having to let go of everything that was holding back. The things he clung to for safety. If he let go, he'd be at the mercy of all the critiscism and truths that seemed to spit in his face.

Boy, the friendzone stinks.

Half the time, it's you who puts yourself there in the first place, and that fact only made Spike feel even more stupid. But now wasn't the time to feel sorry, now was the time to take on the challenge. If he stayed, nothing would change, he'd still be alone. But if he embraced reality, there was hope of getting what he so desired. Not just Rarity, but what she represented; Love, happiness, beauty. If there was even the smallest chance of getting that, then he'd go for it. He just hoped the saying, 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger' was true.

Putting his game face on, he nodded with determination in his eye. "Let's do this!"

"okay Spike, now remember, you've got to be cool. Flowing like the sea, not really caring either way. Be aloof, not strongly oppinionated about anything. Keep her interested." Discord said, preparing Spike for his first swing at escaping the friendzone.

"Go get 'em buddy!" Soarin cheered, throwing him a big smile and a knock on the shoulder.

Spike was kitted out in a black leather jacket and shades. Spike had insisted on a tie as well, so as not to seem too intimidating. He gave a shaky smile and a thumbs-up before running forwrd into position. He stationed himself into a lax position, legs infront of him while leaning against the mailbox, arms perched eaither side of him on top of the jewel encrested mailbox. He tried to bring his breathing under control. This was it, make or break. His back stiffened in fear at the thought then he eased himself back. He needed to look aloof, he reminded himself.

Suddenly, Rarity came into view. Her eye lashes lined her eyes beautifully as she trotted down the street in all her grace and glory. Spike felt the butterflies, the dizziness and the headache, but he also felt warmth, courage joy that seemed to quench the fear. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he checked over himself once again and then turned his head away to stare at something or other in the distance.

"Oh, hello Spike." Rarity greeted cheerily. She made it her personal goal to greet any of her friends when she saw them, it was the polite thing to do.

'Okay, here it goes', Spike thought.

He seemed to stir a bit, as if waking up and turned his head to look at Rarity.

"Oh, hey Rarity. What are you doing here?" He said in a relaxed, stoic tone.

Rarity giggled, "You and your sense of humor. I live here Spikey-Wikey."

'NIMROD!!' Spike mentally yelled at himself, 'ABSOLUTE TWIT! It's her flippin' house...quick gotta bring it back, gotta act aloof.'

"Huh, didn't notice." Spike huffed carelessly.

Rarity's smile faltered as she looked at him in confusion. "But, you've been here before darling."

"Yeah...well, you know me, I'm neither here nor there. But it's a nice place I guess."

"You guess?" Rarity seemed skeptical about Spike's answer. Spike would never settle for an 'I guess'. Normally he'd go all-out to compliment every detail. Frankly Spike's answer had been rude and offensive, but Rarity wasn't going to let that phase her. She'd just excuse herself and get back to work. Spike would be back to his normal self soon, she was sure of it.

"Well," Rarity said politely, "it has been lovely seeing you dear, but I have a client to get to you see, sooo..."

Shoot! He was losing her. He needed to keep her attention, but how? He was doing well, he just needed to fight to keep her attention. What did the guide book say? Something about getting to 'know the target'...

"Umm, need any help?" Spike tried desperately, his voice returning to a more pleading tone.

"So long as you're quiet...I suppose so." Rarity said.

Spike gave a satisfied smile and followed Rarity in.

Inside, Spike helped Rarity on a dress. In his mind, he had scored big time. He finally had some quality alone time with Rarity! He felt happy and content, and in his joy he'd completely forgotten about the plan, the bad boy ego, everything. It was just him and Rarity. That's when the shop's bell rang as a customer walked in through the door.

"Spike, darling," Rairty said, trying to concentrate on her work, "would you be a dear and see to my client?"

"Sure thing!" Spike said in an eager, chirpy tone.

He walked into the lobby, too lost in thought to actually take notice of the customer.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique," Spike began, "Where everything is chique, unique and magnifiiii..."

Spike's voice died, lost in his throat. There, standing in the middle of the lobby, was Thunderlane.

'What is he doing here?' Spike thought. Then a thought crossed his mind. A terrifying thought that filled him with fear and caused sweat to form on his brow. Was he...A foe? Competition? That bad boy character Discord spoke of?

Spike was in trouble and he knew it. Surviving in the friendzone was as easy so long as you had the upper hand, a chance of escaping. But an obstacle had chosen to present itself and suddenly, things looked a lot bleaker.

Thunderlane looked over at Spike, who had abandoned the shades and jacket, leaving only the tie. This eased Thunderlane's nerves. Thunderlane wouldn't have been caught dead in a fashion boutique, but this was a desperate occasion. So here he was, and there was a dude wearing a tie, so obviously he must work there. Glad to see he wasn't the only male, he smiled and walked over to Spike.

"Hi, I'm looking for Rarity?" Thunderlane asked, a tone of nervousness in his voice.

'Of course he is', thought Spike cynically.

"In the back." Spike snarled through gritted teeth.

The guide had put it quite bluntly to frighten the living daylights out of the enemy. This was easy for Spike to pull off; being a dragon, he already had presence. As he snarled out of jealous anger, he gave Thunderlane a full display of his dagger-like teeth. In the least, it was very intimidating.

Thunderlane's ears flopped to the side of his head as his pupils shrank in fear. Trying to put out the 'heart-warming' images of being baked alive or eaten by the dragon, Thunderlane cleared his throat, composing himself. So the clerk wasn't friendly, no-biggie.

"Thanks." Thunderlane said before circling around Spike, feeling his death-stare cutting into him. Avoiding eye contact, he quickened his pace.

Spike smirked. Luna, the guide might be a load of crap, but it had some good tips. The 'dragon stare of death' was definitely a keeper.

Returning to his thoughts, Spike checked another item off of his agenda.

Step 3: Eliminate competition.

Check.

Author's Note:

Thus we come to the close of another chapter.
Please guys, don't forget to 'like' this story. Unfortunately, authors don't get brownie points for getting only views.
I haven't got much left to write on this, so you guys can expect another two chapters or so, nothing too complicated.

As for the instance in the beginning of this chapter, where everypony just excuses randomness as being normal. This is totally legit. It's Ponyville for cryin' out load! Stuff like this goes down all the time it's normal.
Truth has been spoken.