Straight Edge transferred to Canterlot High from his high school in Chicago. Straight has never been one for fitting in, one of the reason he became straight edge, but when a certain blonde haired country girl enters his life, he just might find there is more to life then Comic books, Punk Rock Music, and Muay Thai.
A big shout out to these guys for supporting my descision to join their little world.
BlueSun52
Zeroxdoom
BRyeMC
CogWing
Azure_Shadow
KillerRobotQuote
These Guys own there Respective OCs and Hasbro owns Equestria Girls, I only own My OC.
Thanks to BlueSun52 for also making the new cover art.
Chapters (15)
I'm no credit or editor, but I can see problems in your story. I don't know what's your character look like, all I know is that he has black hair(inner voice sounds familiar). Reading it makes me feels like you're just telling me the basics.
I think my tongue got dry after reading this out loud.
Finally, I read the other stories that expired this one. While they also had their faults, there charm is what made up my reading experience.
this story doesn't have any... yet. While I don't enjoy this story as it is, I know that your a new writer and criticism can hurt a person's confidence. but it's needed so we can learn our weaknesses. I feel like this story just needs more thought put into it, doesn't hurt to look at your character too.
Well, I hope this helps you.
6290085 Thanks for the creative feedback. I'll Think about it when I get into writing Chapter 2.
6290085 Also, I'll talk to a couple friends on this site and see if they can help with the way my character looks.
Anyway, Thanks for the feedback, and I hope this story will become one of your favorites as the story progresses.
6290109 you're welcome, and if you need help with designing your character. Come by my page, I'm an artist that helps people with designs for free.
6290131 K, Thanks for the offer.
6290034
CM Punk was the only reason I wen't back to WWE, he was like a modern day Stone Cold Steve Austin, and WWE squandered him. Such a waste.
6293175 Still talking about the wrestler.
Talk about the Story Man!
My boy, C!
I found an error involving him by the way. Clyde is the same height as Straight (~6 feet), not "much taller". Clyde plays point guard so he isn't super tall as most basketball players.
Other than that, pretty good thus far. :)
6301346 Ah, thanks for the info.
I like this story so far. Ill track this
Nice work, I can't wait to see more.
Soul is in the house!
Nice chapter
6302377 What do you think of Jess?
6302396 She seems like good character. I think its interested that she goes to Crystal Prep while Edge goes to Canterlot.
FYI, When you introduced Sunset and Soul, you have Sunset's name lowered cased instead of capitalizing it.
6302435 I know, I'll go back and fix it at some point.
Jess is going to play an important role when the you know what comes around in September.
Straight Edge's character will begin to develop as his loyalty becomes questioned, but as they say "All's fair in Love and War".
Nice story so far, though if I could offer some suggestions,
1. Prehaps give Jess a bit more of an explanation. We know she's his friend, but aside from that I feel there isn't a whole lot.
2. Maybe put one more line of space between the likes of dialogue and paragraphs, just to make it a bit easier to read.
Other than that, good start man! Can't wait to see more!
6306411 I plan on giving Jess's backstory in the next update, it will tell how she and Straight Edge are friends.
Thanks for the Fave by the way.
Aye, you there... I think I'm going to like your story.
Let the record stand that Warhawk did not approve of stealing the heart. On that note I believe I have just started a trend with the heist, Warhawk's jeep, and Thieve R Us.
6444184
And the Humane Five, moe specifically Rainbow, May have just lost their relationship with Straight.
Also...
"Dad?"
WHO IS THE FATHER!?!
And this, MY FAVORITE YU GI OH CARDimg3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120224011644/yugioh/images/0/0a/Yubel-RYMP-EN-R-1E.jpg
Warhawk: The interceptor is too good for you Punk.
Hey it could have been worse, like Delorean from Back to the Future.
Warhawk: Yeah your right.
6444845 So Soul can Have a Harley, Warhawk can have a Wrangler Special edition, Hell Sunset can have a 1969 Ford Mustang Fastback, but Straight cant have the Interceptor?
Also, his parents will be revealed in Chapter Seven.
6444859
It's THE Interceptor. No one but Max should have that car.
6445034 It's a ford falcon with a V8. Anyone can get one.
That John Cena video was Hilarious. nice Chapter by the way, looking forward to more!
6445123 Does Zero Get it Now?
6445126 Yup
6445059 And with that, my joke stopped being funny.
6445135 Which Joke?
6445132 Then, IS HE READY FOR THIS SUNDAY NIGHT WHEN JOHN CENA DEFENDS HIS TITLE, IN THE WWE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPEERRRRRRRR SSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!?!!!!!!?!?!?!?!
6445142
He'll be there
6445151 We should show Clyde.
6445151 Also, Some guy made a pony version. Check It out. IRON WILL is in it.
6445190 Even more perfect
orig04.deviantart.net/d8ca/f/2010/136/b/9/ichigo__s_laugh_by_uchiha_katana.gif
6445204 We need to show BlueSun52 and the others. Grann has seen it.
6445137
Of Punk being un-worthy of the Interceptor. Actually as far as jokes go that was probably my worst one.
6445223 I'm sure They've heard the joke by now, its the new joke on the internet next to shia labeouf
6445230 Oh... then, ARE YOU READY FOR THIS SUNDAY NIGHT WHEN JOHN CENA DEFENDS HIS TITLE, IN THEN WWE SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Order now for the low price of $59.99
6445268 .......................................................................................... not a fab of Cena. Sorry.
6445310 Oh.... *CROW CAW*
6445554 Oh yes, send in the hundred year old wrestler that'll be scary.
*BONK as the lights go out*
Oh shit.
6445613 *VIVA LA RAZA*
6445800 I miss that guy.
10 bucks says BlueSun52 has a chapter involving a heist for the Crystal Heart
I have a good guess on who Straight Edge's dad is...
AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENAAAAA!!! APPLEJUICE!! TITTINITITT!!!!! *CROWD GOES WILD*
Straight Edge has a shinai? Cool.