Hey, so I got that box and all the books are in it. All eight books of the Dark Tower series as well as The Hobbit. I also remember you asking me at one point to measure the box the Blu-Ray player comes in. Thankfully, cardboard boxes are already labeled with the dimensions so I didn't need to put in much extra work. In length by width by height (inches), the box is 13x9x11. Don't know how much longer it needs to take on your end now, but I'm ready for you.
Hello?
Sorry, had to find the book the spell was in. It's not a spell most unicorns and alicorns perform on a regular basis, so I'm going to need a reference if I want to do this right.
Right, of course. Sorry for sounding pushy.
That's fine, Toby, you had no way of knowing. Still, I need to draw out the length and width of your box and then cast its depth. Then once its done, I still need to mail it to you, and that's going to take some time for the parchment to show up on your end.
Okay, I'm getting a better idea of what we're doing, but do you mind telling me how this is all working? In layman's terms, of course.
Certainly! I first get a large enough piece of parchment to draw the length and width out. Then, what I do is I use magic to create a space within those parameters that the box will go into. Once I've done that, I'll cast another spell to return the paper somewhat to normal, but from that point on, any object that sits inside the outline will "sink" into the paper and rest inside that space until another pony can extract the object out of it.
Wow. That's going to look so cool from my end.
I'm sure it will, but there's some things you'll need to know. Only one object can go into the space at a time, so make sure the box and only the box gets placed inside the outline once you get the parchment. Second, make sure no part of the parchment within the outline is damaged, or the spell will be broken. To be fair, it won't be as big a deal if you do so before you put the box in; I can just cast another one. But if you tear or damage the parchment after that, your books will be lost forever, and I'd hate for that to happen.
Ditto. So, how much longer do you think it'll take before you mail it to me?
As a matter of fact, I worked on the spell while we were writing, and it's already been neatly folded and put in my mailbox. It's only been a couple minutes since then, but it should be coming your way momentarily. In the meantime, I've got some questions for you now.
Shoot.
First, these Dark Tower books. Are any of them scary? What should I expect, other than the stuff I read about, beforehand?
Yes, well, obviously, there's a lot of themes of racial tension in these books, though I feel like you've read enough Stephen King to have a good idea of the kinds of subject matters he tends to get into.
I suppose. And this book, the Hobbit. I assume that's the book for Spike you were talking about earlier? What's that one?
It's about a creature called a hobbit (think of them like humans, but shorter and with large feet, who goes on an epic quest to help a band of dwarves (like hobbits, but with normal feet and a bit gruffer) raid and reclaim a vast treasure being hoarded by a fearsome
Is it a dragon? Do they kill the dragon?
I don't know how that could have slipped my mind, but yeah, at one point, they do kill the dragon. I'd completely understand if Spike wouldn't want to read anything like that. I can take the book out before I send the Dark Tower series to you.
Can you tell me what happens? Like, was the dragon evil and it was trying to kill the heroes? Or maybe even worse?
Are you fine with me spoiling it for you?
If it makes you feel better about lending the book to Spike, then sure, tell me what happens to the dragon.
Well, he is a very greedy, wicked dragon, and he drove the dwarves from their home and took the treasure, and when the hobbit takes a single piece of the treasure, the dragon gets angry and rampages a nearby town, forcing one of its inhabitants to kill it.
I see. I haven't told you much about dragons other than Spike, but dragons are typically very greedy by nature, and their greed leads to them being typically ill-tempered, and in some cases, violent creatures. Back in old times, ponies have actually had to slay dragons that have tried to attack and raid their towns and kingdoms, and Spike learned about this himself after he once went to the Dragonlands to do some soul-searching. As I'm sure I've said before, Spike is still very mature for his age, and I'm certain that if the dragon in that book is as evil as you described, then I'm certain he will accept its death.
I guess that's a relief? I certainly don't want to make it out like I'm antagonizing his kind or anything.
Spike knows firsthand how antagonistic dragons can be, so I can hardly think he'll be that offended. If it makes you feel better, I can warn him about the dragon and if he'll still feel comfortable reading it, but I'm certain at this point that he'll still dive headfirst into this book if it's still as good as you claim.
It's a classic, and an engrossing read at that. As a matter of fact, that parchment may be here by now. I'll go check the mailbox, and when it comes, I'll go ahead and put everything together. Can we talk more once it's back in my mailbox?
Absolutely. Take your time.
Okay, talk to you soon.
Sweet Swamp Jesus a triple update.
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You updated.
You really updated.
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He has a tendency to post more than 1 chapter at a time. So a triple isn't that special.
We need more
Need to send Spike some books where the dragon is the hero. Maybe Pern? Can't think of many more off the top of my head. Also, get him a starter Pathfinder set, I'm sure he'll love it.
I could see Twi enjoying the original Foundation trilogy as well.
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Eragon maybe?
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How about The Wheel of Time? The Dragon in that series is a pretty good guy... most of the time.
9643922 Now that I think about it, the Temeraire series would probably be good for that.
it liiives!!! ahhahahahahaaaa!!! cough cough i mean, yay more chapters!! woo
I find stupid that spike would feel bad about someone killing dragons, there are thousands of book, films, theater and musicals that have killing humans, either good or evil, is part of the story, and you don't get humans feeling bad about it, and I don't doubt there are books in this equestria that have ponies being killed for whatever reasons and getting ponies feel bad about it either, the same goes for dragons, hey, in the comics there are a small society of dragon in manehattan, I don't doubt some of them write stories too, where dragons are being killed or be made heros, again, they are just stories that does not thave to resemble reality, and if spike is as mature as twilight think he is, he can take death in any story, he is not 5 years all.
Ooooh. Get Spike into CyberPunk 2020. That tabletop RPG was so fun for me to DM.
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Swamp Jesus? You mean Shrek?
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Nope Swamp Jesus
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So basically Shrek.
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Pretty much. But one is the savior of our souls, and the other can just turn water into wine.
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True
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Tiny difference with your analogy though, as far as the series is concerned Spike is the only dragon living among ponies. He is, effectively, the ultimate minority. Ponies writing about ponies killing ponies isn't going to be as big as ponies writing about dragons being evil and getting killed for it. Especially if dragons always are the evil ones to get killed.
Imagine for a moment if all fiction cast black people as villains to be killed, and only as villains to be killed. That would be the a bit more similar to the situation Spike would be in. The kid's strong, but you can't blame him for wanting to read about dragons being the heroes for a change.
Hoorah! The story is updated!
Should send how to train your dragon. That would be an awesome movie for them to watch, especially Spike
While I don’t know what the Dark Tower series is, hooray for The Hobbit!
Looking forward to
Twilight’sSpike’s remarks.How about sending Spike a set of Gordon R. Dickson's Dragon Knight stories? Heroic dragon AND silliness.
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In stories people gets kill either for being a villain, heroes, innocent, by accident, by racism, etc, etc, etc, in stories dragons could get killed for different reasons, reasons for whatever the plot is, not black and white stuff, in The Hobbit, the dragon is killed because it was attacking a town, not because it was evil in essence, even though he may be, so a story where someone is killing innocents and said someone is killed in retaliation, whether it be a pony, a gryphon, minatour, human, or dragon, is irrelevant, and if the plot paint the dragon o whatever villains as not redeemable, the plot is set for the obvious decision of killing the dragon, so unless you portrait spike as a 5 years old kid, the story shouldn't phase him, twilight now is treating spike as a child that can't take a kill of a member of his species, which currently are not hunted to even play the racist card, and if even the book were one that paints dragons as something to kill for sports and paint them as no more than animals, spike should be capable of deciding if the book is to his liking or not, so he could either stop reading or contenue, not everybody likes the same books.
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That's... pretty much what Twilight says though? "He's a big boy, he'll likely accept it and enjoy the book."
Doesn't mean that Spike wouldn't like some stories that depict dragons as the heroes for a change.
The dragon's one thing. The ponies being dragged away by goblins, presumably to be eaten might be a different thing altogether. x3
As happy as I am at seeing this update again, there's something I have to say. It's nearly been a year, the story has reached over 20,000 words, so can we please, please have a time skip or speed things up or something? The romance is still practically no where to be found, they haven't even seen each other aside from that one time they sent pictures, and this glacial pacing combined with the insanely short chapters is just killing every last bit of interest in this story. Which I hate since I love the premise of it. Can we just skip ahead some now?
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Also not literally a dragon, though.
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That's actually a good idea. A time skip could definitely help further the story and may even help speed the writing along.
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Considering how much time has passed since the last update and considering how each 'chapter' is short enough to be written in half-an-hour at most, I'm guessing the story is dead at this point.
When is the next chapter?
It's been over 6 months.
If May comes with no update, I'm considering this one dead.
I cast Raise the Dead spell!
.
.
.
Did it work?