Chapter 1
Drip....Drip.....Drip.......
The slow, steady drops of water echoed through the dark, wet cavern, reverberating off every wall and rock in the murky gloom. The still silence served only to amplify the measured plops of the water drops slapping against the mirror like pond, shattering the quiet one drop at a time.
The two mares stood, stalk still, staring at each other in the weird blue light that emanated from the pond of reflections. Both looked identical, from the purple glasses, to their matching electric blue manes, to the black, backwards eighth note adorning their flank.
They knew this was not right. The fact that they both stood, staring each other down, unblinking beneath the violet shade of glass that blocked their matching red irises from view, that this was never suppose to be. Why the Creators of Equestria and the world allowed such an abomination to exist was cruelty against nature, but that mattered not, as they both stood, searching for answers that were as elusive as the transparent smoke reflecting of the hard surface of a mirror.
It all started three hours earlier that day.
Vinyl woke with her usual hang over. The party last night was sick. One of her better nights as DJ Pon3. The club jumped at her command, and boy did she have those stallions and mares jumping for all they were worth. She winced as she remembered dropping the beat hard, scratching records, blaring sirens and rapping along with the music, the cacophony of angry noises that were so harsh and different, they somehow blended into strange and beautiful music.
She had the crowed yelling her name, and it felt oh so good. Hearing the praise of others to boost her already inflated ego of her own skills, adding to her confidence, and stupidity. She winced again, as another jolt of pain pulled her from her fond blurry memories of the night before. The after party, may have been a mistake.
“I see you're finally awake.” Octavia's voiced in a tone dripping of disapproval as she came through the bedroom door. “I'd say you slept in, but considering how you never wake up any earlier than twelve, you're up on time.”
Vinyl groaned. “Tav, can you speak a little quieter?”
Octavia stood on her hind legs, hooves on her hips. “Is this better?”
“Quieter.” Vinyl whimpered.
The gray mare sighed, dropping her voice to an almost inaudible whisper. “How's this?”
“Aaahh,” Vinyl gave a smile at her friend and roommate. “Perfect~”
Octavia, reached back and ripped the drapes away from the window. Celestia's glory burst into the near pitch black room, illuminating everything with light and color that the darkness drank so heavily from. The light glared into the DJ's fully dilated eyes, stabbing them with fire like brightness.
“AAAHHHH!” Vinyl covered her eyes, rolling over, trying to hide her head with a pillow, as Octavia systematically walked to the other two windows of the bedroom and opened the drapes.
“I'm sorry, but I can't comply with your wishes to let you live like a vampony. You'll have to face the day some time, and, more importantly, the rent.”
“No I don't!” The white unicorn shouted back, voice muffled by the pillow she was hiding under. “And rent can kiss my flank.”
Octavia gave a raised eyebrow. “Beg pardon? I very much doubt the collectors will use flank kisses as currency. You always can give it a try, but if you're behind on your rent this month, I'm not going to bail you out again.” She headed for the door, pausing long enough to add. “You still owe me for covering for the last two months on my own. You may have to find another job, that actually pays, as your 'gigs' often spend as much as you make.”
Vinyl winced as the door slammed shut. Using magic, she slid each drape back to their respective place, once again, casting the comfortable darkness back to her room, before sliding out for her hiding spot. She sulked at the idea of getting any other kind of job, as anything other than Djing was no fun, and rubbed her as boring, but she knew that Octavia was right about one thing. She needed to start pulling her own weight in rent. That meant more gigs and less after parties, where her payments became fiery liquor that impaired her judgment, blacked out her memories and tortured her brain and eyes the day after.
“Well, no use crying over spilled milk.” She murmured to herself, lighting her horn just enough so so her eyes could see without the pinprick stabbings that natural light tended to do to her eyes. And ponies wondered why she wore her glasses everywhere.
“At least I have gig a tonight.” She sighed. Diamond Glint was a decent club to DJ at. If she were to forgo the after party, she could walk away with about three hundred bits. That was most of her rent, so that was a good thing. She peered again at the calendar, and blinked as she read another name under the first she scrawled down messily. “Blue Moon?” She groaned. “Ah, cut me a break.” She whined.
Two great clubs, two higher paying jobs, but on the same night. She groaned, rolling on her back, and tried to get comfortable on her messy bed as she thought this over. It wasn't a simple thing to just cancel a gig. That would put the club in a really tight spot, and that meant they'd be less likely to ask her to come and play for them in the future, not to mention the loss of good clubs to spread her name at.
But, no matter how she thought about it, she couldn't see how she could be a two different places at the same time. It was an impractical, improbability that couldn't be solved. She didn't know of any spells or potions that could clone herself. She knew she could cast a disguise spell, but who would be willing to Dj for her for free? Anyway, the disguise spell only worked on appearance, not voice. That was a different spell she didn't know. As far as she knew, there was no way to clone herself and literally be in two places at once.
Then the light bulb went off, and she sat straight up, holding her pillow to her chest as she realized that she might not know it, but some pony she knew, could help her with this conundrum.
She tossed her pillow aside, dawned her purple shades and, with a flick of her horn, drew back all the drapes and reopened her bedroom door, trotting out, trying not to wince with each step.
Octavia was at the dining room table, which was centered in the kitchen of their apartment, putting the finishing touches on her daisy and spinach sandwich.
“I'm heading out, Tavi.” Vinyl announced, magicking the sandwich out of her roommate's hooves as she took a bite. “I should have the rent tonight after work.”
Octavia watched her roommate exit the kitchen, muttering moodily under her breath. “I'll believe it when I see it.”
Vinyl Scratch knew of only one pony that could tell her if her harebrained scheme could actually work, and she knew exactly where to find the bubbly pink pony at lunch time.
The shop door of Sugarcube Corner rang out a little tinkle that announced to the staff inside that a costumer had arrived. Mrs. Cake, a chubby blue mare with a pink mane that reminded the DJ of soft served ice cream, greeted her with a cheery smile.
“Oh, welcome, welcome. An' what can we get for you today, Miss Scratch?”
“Hi Mrs. Cake. I'll take a raspberry tart, and a maple bar. Hey, is Pinkie around? I'd like to talk to her about something.”
“Oh sure,” Mrs. Cakes smiled, the dimples in her cheeks making her look more chubby than she really was. She turned her head over her shoulder. “Pinkieee, You have a visitor. I'll ring those up for you right now dear.” And she turned to the little cash register, clinking in the prices of the pastries while Vinyl fished out the three bits required.
Pinkie hopped in the room, causing a springy boink with each hop. In her time knowing the pink party planner, Vinyl had created a mental list of unexplainable abnormalities that seemed to break the very laws of nature, gravity, and maybe even time and space dimensional laws, with the way she seemed to talk to ponies that weren't there, and get answers that not only made sense, but proved most useful and accurate. After a while, one just excepts that Pinkie Pie was just a special pony and normal things don't apply to her, as they do to others.
“Oh, Hi Vine. What can Pinkie do for you?” She giggled.
Vinyl magicked the bag of pastries on her back, before smiling to her friend. “Can I ask you a question in private?”
“Sure.” Pinkie replied, bouncing in place. “The cookies are in the oven, Mrs. Cake. They'll be good and crispy in eleven minutes and twenty eight seconds. No, Twenty seven seconds. Now it's twenty si-”
“Thank you Pinkie dear.” Mrs. Cake smiled. “Go talk to your friend. I'll let you know if I need anything else.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie giggle snorted, and led the way outside with the DJ in tow.
The day was beautiful. The sky was clear of clouds, the sun was shedding its warm, benevolent rays upon the face of the land, and a light breeze kissed the swaying grass. The two friends made their way to a large noble oak, that stood in a near by park, where young colts and fillies played silly games, like tag or hide and seek, while their parents watched on park benches or took walks on the meandering dirt paths under the shade of the trees.
“So,” Pinkie asked, fishing out her raspberry tart which Vinyl bought. “What question are you questioningly asking me?”
Vinyl didn't know how to broach the subject tactfully, as she didn't know the full story behind the events that created the results she was looking for. However, tact was never her forte, and so she just went with what sounded good in her head.
“Is the mirror pool legend true?”
Pinkie, who was chewing happily, suddenly stopped chewing. She looked at her friend, as if not sure she heard correctly. Vinly returned the look, pulling her sunglasses down enough for the pink pony to see her red eyes.
Pinkie sat back, swallowing her taste mouthful without tasting it. She looked at her raspberry tart, turning it over in her hooves. “And why do you want to know that?” She asked, not looking at her friend.
“I've got a bit of a problem.” Vinyl confessed. “I'm over booked for gigs, but really need the money. I figure if I were to have a twin for the day, I could hit up both clubs, bam, wam, make some bits and be done with it.”
“It's not that simple.” Pinkie replied in a hushed town, her mood deflating her hair. Another abnormality that the white unicorn just took as Pinkie fact. “It's never that simple.”
“Look, I'll be real careful, Pinks. I promise. A one time deal. That's it.”
Pinkie gave her a nervous look, which made her look shy, with a straight curtain of pink covering half her face.
“I'd prefer you don't do it at all.” She replied. “It's really dangerous, and even one clone is enough to cause major problems that can't be solved easily.”
The look in her friend's eyes disturbed Vinyl. There was something the pink mare wasn't telling her, but she absolutely had to make both gigs. Without them, she'd get kicked out, as Octavia would not cover her for rent again, but more importantly, she'd lose the respect her roommate had for her, and quite possibly lose a friend, as Octavia always pointed out that she was moving places, and couldn't afford others who weren't moving too.
“It's absolutely necessary.” Vinyl insisted. “I have to make both gigs, or my flank's on the streets and Octavia will never talk to me again.” Pinkie still looked nervous. “Please, I'm begging you for this.”
“Pinkie promise you'll end it if anything starts to go wrong?” The pink pony asked.
“Yeah, sure.” Vinyl made the motions, crossing her heart. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Now will you tell me?”
Pinkie set aside her half eaten treat, giving the DJ a serious stare. She took a deep breath and started the rhyme.
“Where the brambles are thickest,
there you will find,
a pond beyond the most twisted of vine!
And into her own reflection she stared,
yearning for one whose reflection she shared,
and solemnly sweared not be scared at the prospects of being doubly mared!”
She didn't blink as she continued talking. “Nana told my the rhyme. It's true. I went into the Everfree Forest, and found the cave where the vines grow the thickest. All you have to do is walk into the pool and dip your head over, wishing to have another you. Once you do that, you'll have a clone, who acts and thinks as you.”
Vinyl flashed her a grin and started galloping off to the dark forest, not hearing Pinkie yell behind her, “Don't do it!” She sat there for a few moments, before slinking off the bench. “Me and my big mouth.” The pink pony mourned. “No happy ending can come from this.
It wasn't an easy trek, climbing over rough rocks that scrapped at her hooves, snarling brambles that stuck in her coat and tail, and low branches that tore at her mane like skeleton fingers, but Vinyl didn't mind. If she could end the night with bits enough to pay rent, and even a bit to pay off Octavia a little, this would all be worth it. After what felt like an hour, she spied a curtain of thick vines covering the mouth of the cave she sought. Without hesitation, the DJ slipped through the green sheet, into the cave of mystery.
Drip....Drip.....Drip...
The cave was dark, absent of all light, but a strange blue aura that seemed to resonate from some place, low in the cave. Vinyl's fur stood on end. It wasn't the dark that prickled at her skin, sending shivers down her spine, and flooding her mind with new uncertainty. It was the silence. The still silence that seemed as dead as corpse frozen in winter. Cold. Solid. Paralyzing.
Drip...Drip....Drip...
Vinyl shook her head. She came from a purpose. Now was not the time to get cold hooves. Her clopping echoed around the cavern, sound proving what eyes could not, that this was a wide, low ceiling cave.
Drip....Drip....Drip....
The eerie light was coming from a large pool of water. The closer Vinyl got to it, the more she saw that it didn't look like water, as much as a mirror. It was like looking through the floor only to see the ceiling, broken only by the steady drops. Dreadful fascination, the likes she could not describe, dawned at her, as she located the source of the dropping water. It was a lone stalactite above the reflecting pool, dripping drop by drop into the crystalline surface, rippling it so slightly that each drop almost looked like it was falling through the pool back to the ceiling.
Vinyl took a gulp. Something in the back of her mind told her this was a bad idea. Something told her she should turn tail and run back home. That she should pick a club, and skip the after party. Give all she could to rent and pick a day job like Octavia told her she should. She should drop her party life style and think about a real career that could let her live a good life, to grow old with some stallion, and have foals. Something deep inside told her anything, absolutely anything, this world had to offer was better than looking into that pool of strange enchantment.
Vinyl stamped her hoof. “I came all this way because there is no other way.” She shorted, pride over coming caution, and she walked to the edge of the mirror surface and looked down. The pony that looked was a perfect reflection of herself, but that was to be expected. Now, Vinyl shuddered, was the hard part. Closing her eyes, she thought about wanting another her. She started to step into the pool.
She expected to feel cold water. She expected there might be pain. She could even except that there might be strange singing or chanting in some dead tongue that ponykind had forgotten and lost before Celestia banished her sister to the moon. What she didn't expect was the cold hard floor of the cave. She was sorely tempted to open her eyes and look, but she kept them shut, not sure if she wanted to look.
When she walked straight into a rocky wall, she opened her eyes with a terrified start, cursing as she did. She looked around, finding herself on the opposite shore of the strange pool. She gave a nervous laugh, glad that no pony was there to see her foolish action of walking into a wall.
She looked around, and didn't see any identical pony in the chamber with her. With a sigh, and drooping ears, she turned around, to face the pool and start the long trek back home. Clearly this was a hoax, and Pinkie was in on it, pulling her tail. As she turned around, she came nose to nose with another pony.
She was a white unicorn, with an electric blue mane and tail, wearing purple tinged sunglasses and a backwards eighth note for a cutie mark.
Drip...Drip...Drip...
It had worked! Vinyl could now make both gigs and pay off her rent and all would go back to normal.
Drip...Drip...Drip...
“Hey there, me.” Vinyl chuckled at the introduction. Me. What a funny thing to say. “So, you ready to par-taah?”
Drip...Drip...Drip....
The white unicorn didn't say anything. She just stood there, watching her reflection shuffle nervously.
Drip...Drip...Drip....
“Hey, we're going to have a good time tonight.” Vinyl tried again. “Which club you wanna raze? I'll let you pick.”
Drip...Drip...Drip...
“A-are you going to say something?” Vinyl finally asked, the stoic silence of her clone making her very uncomfortable.
“You're going to send me back.”
Drip....Drip....Drip...
It wasn't a question. Vinyl didn't know what to say, so she played it like she did with other difficult situations. She spoke without thought.
“Sure,” She laughed, unsure how to respond. “I mean, I only need you around for tonight. After that, I'll just send ya back to where you came from.”
Drip....Drip....Drip...
“I came from nothingness.” The clone spoke quietly.
Drip...Drip...Drip....
“Ohhh, bummer.” Vinyl took a little step back. “But, ahh, I can't have another me walkin' around. Heh, that'd confuse ponies. You understand, right?”
Drip....Drip....Drip....
“So, you'll kill me?” She asked, Vinyl's own voice ringing around the cave. “Just because you'll be done with me?”
Drip....Drip.....Drip...
“Ah, come on. It's not like you were, like, alive before now, right?” Vinyl reasoned, her nervous smile waning.
“No. I wasn't alive before...”
Drip....Drip...Drip....
“But I'm alive now.” The copy spoke, tears brimming in her eyes. “I have a body,” She looked at a hoof. “I feel. I think. I have memories of you.”
Vinyl's smile faded. “Fake memories. You're not me.”
Drip....Drip...Drip....
“No, I am me. I am Vinyl Scratch.”
Vinyl felt a chill run through her body.
Drip....Drip....Drip....
“If anything, I'd be the real you.” The unicorn spoke, locking eyes with Vinyl. “I have your memories, but I have not done them. You've squandered your life.”
Drip....Drip...Drip...
“You have so many talents. You can compose music, you like to sing, you are even an exceptional chef.”
She took a step forward, forcing Vinyl to take another step back.
Drip...Drip...Drip...
“All these years, a double degree in literature and musical theory, and you do nothing but sleep all day and drink after playing a few remixes.”
Another step forward, another step backwards.
Drip....Drip....Drip....
“Hey, I'm the original.” Vinyl argued weakly, feeling more and more that this was a bad idea.
“But, what good is the original if it's...broken?”
Drip....Drip....Drip....
Vinyl felt her blood run chill. “No. No! I'm the one who created you! You are not me! You will do as I say!”
“I am my own pony. I can choose what to do. And I choose to live.”
Vinyl took one last step, and found herself at the edge of the pool.
Drip....Drip.....Drip.......
The slow, steady drops of water echoed through the dark, wet cavern, reverberating off every wall and rock in the murky gloom. The still silence served only to amplify the measured plops of the water drops slapping against the mirror like pond, shattering the quiet one drop at a time.
The two mares stood, stalk still, staring at each other in the weird blue light that emanated from the pond of reflections. Both looked identical, from the purple glasses, to their matching electric blue manes, to the black, backwards eighth note adorning their flank.
They knew this was not right. The fact that they both stood, staring each other down, unblinking beneath the violet shade of glass that blocked their matching red irises from view, that this was never suppose to be. Why the Creators of Equestria and the world allowed such an abomination to exist was cruelty against nature, but that mattered not, as they both stood, searching for answers that were as elusive as the transparent smoke reflecting of the hard surface of a mirror.
But, the time for searching was over.
Octavia woke up, alarm blaring that it was now eight in the morning. She had stayed up till midnight for her roommate, fully prepared to tell her to get out if she didn't have the rent she owed the collectors. She might not be the owner of the apartment, but she was the one who made the down payment, and so it was her name on the bill. But, as Vinyl was late, as usual, she went to bed. The yelling can wait till she'd had some sleep.
She yawned and stretched, feeling her back crack. The gray mare sighed in relief, and made her way to the kitchen for some breakfast. What she saw, brought her to a halt. Vinyl was awake, and making breakfast while running the dishwasher.
“I see you're up, Tavi.” The blue maned unicorn grinned. “Pull up a chair, I got hay bacon, eggs, toast and some tea.”
Octavia smelled the aroma of the food, wafting her way. “Oh my~ Is that Earl Gray?”
“Yeah.” Vinyl's ears folded down nervously. “I know you like it, so I wanted to surprise you.”
Octavia walked over to the table as Vinyl set it for two and served them up. “I must say, I'm impressed. I never imagined you getting up any earlier than eleven, let alone cook breakfast.”
“You like it?” Vinyl smiled. “Great. I'd like to talk to you about some stuff, so you go ahead and eat, and I'll just spit it out. Sound good?”
Octavia didn't reply, already working on the eggs. They were pouched perfectly. Vinyl really had been holding out on her.
“I've been doing a lot of thinking.” The white unicorn began. She pulled a bag of bits out of her mane. “I made three hundred last night. This is two fifty. I know it only covers my half of the rent, but I've got a job interview later on today at Three Fillies. If you can be patient, I'll be able to pay you back some for covering for me these last few months.”
Octavia just stared at the blue maned DJ, fork still in her mouth. Was she really hearing what she thought she'd heard? Vinyl paying her rent? Vinyl, the DJ who partied until the wee hours of the morning, drinking away her profits, was getting a day job?!
“Also,” Vinyl continued on, a little nervous. “I'd like to, ahh, get your opinion on a story I started writing in the past. It's been a while, but I'd like to dust it off and finish it. Who knows, it could pull in a few more bits if I can get it published.”
Octavia slowly swallowed, setting her fork on her plate, looking down at her half eaten eggs. She took a sip of the Earl Gray, delight flooding her taste buds as she thought about what she had to say.
“Tavi?”
“Vinyl,” Octavia looked up into her roommate's red irises. “I can be patient. I can be the very soul of patience if you keep surprising me like this.” She smiled. “And I'd be more than happy to help you on your book.” She folded her ears slightly. “But, I would like to ask, what brought the change? Surely what I said didn't change your mind, did it?”
Vinyl took a bite of her buttered toast, sitting back and thought for a moment while she chewed.
“It got me to start thinking.” She replied slowly. “But, well, it's a long story, but lets just say I confronted myself for the first time, and realized that if I was going to live a good live, the old Vinyl had to go.”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Dubs Rewatcher · 5.3k words · 68 2 · 1.9k views
- Super Trampoline · 2.2k words · 37 4 · 1.7k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.117 seconds
Total duration
975 users online
457,539 hits today, 2,814,898 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
And that is why messing around with the mirror pool is a stupid thing to do. 10/10
roundstable.com/forums/images/smilies/pinkiewaugh.png
You have some raw talent, and I like what I'm reading so far. It needs a bit more polish, such as editing, losing those huge chapter breaks and repeating "drip", but it's very good so far. This has my attention.
Excellent work I love it 11/10
You should go get this edited for grammatical/spelling editors, but the cohesiveness of the story still stands a bit. It was pretty good
DUN DUN DUN! Neat story.
Pinkie - "Mirror, mirror, mirror pool, who made vinyl so uncool"
6276268 Thanks, and yeah. I could use an editor.
Woah woah woah! How did this Vinyl act sooooo differently!
6276235 It takes place after the Pinkie uses the mirror pool on herself. Also, the mirror pool is a legend, and folks always have stories about legends.
6276117 Thank you. The huge chapter breaks were so I didn't confuse the reader tooo much, you know, showing time progression without having to write about every minute. And the Drips were to add tension, and also give a sense that there were a lot of pauses in their dialog. I guess I could have done without a few of them.
6276862 Are you asking, or are you saying it rhetorically.
6276881 Both to be honest.
6276916 In a nut shell, these quotes explain it.
6276948 Ohhhh, kay.
Btw I shared your stories to other groups.
6276953 I saw that. Thank you.
6277197 As I explain in the story, she's desperate to make both gigs, because she's convinced herself that if she doesn't, she'll be kicked out because she can't make rent and pay off Tavi. Mind you, I'm really playing around with Vinyl, and as there are stories where Vinyl acts totally different than what the norm thinks, I'm playing up that she's got two mindsets. A, impulsive I'll do what I want until I'm busted attitude. B, I'm a grown up who has to act responsible and make a living attitude.
It's also why the Clone acts so differently from her, because it's a different version of the DJ. It's the responsible one, not to mention it wants to live life, and not be used only for a few hours before turning into nothingness.
But hey,
Just a different way to look at Vinyl I suppose. Some will like, and some will dislike. It's critique that will make me better.
Thanks for your inputs, questions and opinions. They really make me think and in turn help me improve my writing style for the next story.
Wow, this is dark... and I like it. Very well done on the atmosphere and overall writing style, it kept me entertained the whole way through!
6281943Thank you.
Wow, I got the CHILLS from that last sentence...
Seriously.
6356197 Then I did a good job. Thanks for the read.
Wait, so what happened to which Vinyl?
6387620 I left it ambiguous for that very reason. You don't know which one she is...or do you?
Okay, let's start with what's wrong with it, since, to be fair, I do have some complaints. First off, the grammar. While it's never incoherent, it does have a lot of errors. How many? Well, here's the ones I noticed:
And that was just on a first read through, only counting spelling errors or sentences that are missing words. That's not even counting punctuation errors, sentences starting with but or and, or a few other things. It's not terrible grammar, but it felt like it needed an editor.
Another thing I didn't much care for was how it stumbled on the canon of the Mirror pool. Y'see, in the episode Too Many Pinkie Pies (where the Mirror Pool was first revealed), it was shown that the clones were different from the original in two ways:
1: The clone Pinkies lacked the real Pinkie's depth, and
2: They didn't have Pinkie's memories. (If they had, they would've remembered her friends, which they didn't.)
This story, however, ended up doing the opposite. The clone seemed deeper than the original, and she apparently retained all of the original's memories. It felt like it contradicted what we already knew about the Mirror Pool. This is a minor point, admittedly, but it still bugs me.
Also worth mentioning was the drip...drip...drip... thing got repetitive after a while. I think spacing them out a bit more, replacing some of the drips with just silence or descriptions of the dripping (ex: the cave grew silent, save for a lone dripping sound coming from behind her.) would've built up the atmosphere a bit better.
And finally, the pacing, while by no means terrible, felt a bit fast overall. There were some points that I think could've used a bit more description, some points that could've taken a bit longer to establish stuff. Hard to explain, but it just felt a tad rushed.
6482517 That being said, this story still did more right than it did wrong. First off, the story is quite atmospheric. I said earlier that bits of it could've felt a bit more atmospheric, but even so, it's still pretty dang solid in its own right. It felt heavy when it needed to, which is just what a good dark story should do.
In addition, the idea is interesting. While I'm not sure I'd call it Psychological horror, persay, it's still an intriguing idea, having Vinyl make a clone to make her life easier, only to have it become self aware and all that. It was an enjoyable set-up, and it pulled it off solidly.
Another thing about it is that, as a whole, the writing was really good. A bit fast at points, yes, and bits of it contradicted canon, but on the whole it was written very solidly. The vocabulary throughout the story was solid, the characters were likable, and the ending was interesting, due in no small part to how open to interpretation it is. Is this the real Vinyl who's gotten a reality check, or is this the clone? We have no idea, which I enjoyed.
Overall, I'd give this an 8.5/10 (Very Good
); While it does have some problems with grammar, and it has a couple of issues with canon, this is a very good story regardless, and it's getting a thumbs up out of me. If it got an editor, it could easily make my favorites list, thanks to its heavy, occasionally unnerving atmosphere, solid writing, and legitimately interesting premise. It's an enjoyable read, and I'm glad I read it. Cheers 
6482517 I do need an editor, and thank you for taking the time to look through this, catch errors and give me an honest opinion on it. I am taking some liberties with the cannon of the mirror pool. My mind kind of sees that the mirror pool reacts differently to each pony, as each pony is so different. Also, since we have only one episode about the mirror pool, I thought it wouldn't hurt to play around with the idea of memories being shared.
Part of the inspiration was a creepy pasta of two people discussing the idea of a transporter, and what actually happens. Their talk results that when they go through, it's not really them on the other side, but their clone, who has all their memories, and their real self was in fact destroyed at the other transporter. You wouldn't know that you never existed before, if you had all the memories of someone else and thought that they were yours. Hence, how Clone Vinyl acts.
I'm sorry you didn't like it at much as I thought you would, but thank you for taking the time to take a look at it. I know time is limited, and any time spent on my work means a lot to me. Thank you.
Sorry, this was written before I read your second part to it. Glad you like.
I loved it!
i r8 this 8/8 m8
The ideas are solid.
if I was going to live a good live, the old Vinyl had to go.”
So one of the vinyls is dead now?
7626822 what do you think?
Oh fuck! She could be the real one or the copy.
I enjoyed this, although the twist was a little predictable and the story could've definitely benifited from some editing. But still a pleasant read!
10372263
I appreciate the comment. It's been a long time since I last wrote something, and it seems, looking back that ALL my work could have benefited from a second or third pair of eyes. I'm glad you like it. It's honestly one of my favorite stories I've written, the others being Caught on Camera, To my Beloved Sister, and All Hail the Muffin Princess.
10373209
Feel ya, also been ages for me. I'm kinda getting back in the loop. Believe it or not, I found this story because I literally googled "fimfic best horror stories" and saw this one listed in some guy's top five.
10373860
Wow! To be honest, I'm kinda taken aback by that. I never expected this to make it into anyone's top five. Another one of my works, What have you done has had three or four audio readings, but still, thank you. This was a wonderful surprise.
Nice story! I might be in minority here but an ending with the clone Vinyl Scratch would be (more or less) the happy one for me. (;
Original Vinyl seems kinda heartless, and her arguments «it would be confusing» and «you weren't alive before» are quite weak. Ever heard of «twins», Vinyl? And I'm pretty sure you, too, weren't alive before you were born. (*;
Sigh. If only you were more willing to give your reflection a chance to live. Or were more responsible.
Huh. Just had a though: the clone can try to clone herself to overpower the original Vinyl.
Well this was clearly inspire by the Twilight Zone episode "Nervous Man in a Four Dollar Room." Albeit the original technically isnt killed in that episode. However, if Mirror!Vinyl is objectively better than the original, then I'm not going to shed any tears for the original, as the world is better off without her. You kinda had to break the established rules of the Mirror Pool to do that, but that can be expmained away. Perhaps the Pool works differntlt for different ponies. Pinkie made simple minded clones. Vinyl made clones with all memories intact. Maybe Rainbow's clones would fight the first thing they saw, and Spike's clones would have no will of their own and just obey ever order given to them no matter what. I could go on all day.
Anyway, great story, I loved it.
10895067
Truth be told, I haven't actually seen that episode of the Twilight Zone. The fact that the mirror pool's rules aren't really fleshed out gives some room for speculation. What happens to the clones that are returned? Where do they come from? Pinkie did imply something more when she said, "It's not that simple. It never is."
In the show, the original Pinkie Pie stays in Ponyville, with the hint that one clone escaped with the episode where Rarity opens a shop in Manehatten, but what if that wasn't the case? What if the Pinkie that Vinyl talked to wasn't the original Pinkie? What if she was summoned and something bad, very bad, happened to the original Pinkie, and now the clone has to live as if she was the original? What if Vinyl wasn't the first pony to take her existence for granted and thought she could unsummon new life?
It makes you think, what else does Pinkie know, and why does she keep it so guarded? Why does she tell one of her best friends, when she knows them well enough that as soon as Vinyl goes, Pinkie knows what's going to happen?
Food for thought.