• Published 4th Dec 2015
  • 2,287 Views, 99 Comments

The New StalLi-Ion - Twilight_the_spy



Sylvester, a big-time computer geek, lands in an alien world, at first he's excited, because, well, ALIENS, but then he notices something scary... They don't know what a computer is. Well, that and the shadow that's been following him.

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Rude awakening (2) (REWRITTEN)

Author's note:
Quick notice: I am currently (yes currently, as of June whatever of 2018), editing this story to begin writing it again.
I have just finished some partial edits of this chapter, but now have to go to work. The next chapter may not match up with the ending of this one.


Er. Death? Did you mess up somewhere? I thought pegasi were myths?

If I was turned into a local, wouldn't I turn into a horse, and not a Pegasus? Or are the locals all pegasi? That would be awesome, seeing flying horses.

But I have something even better to say.

I'M A FUCKING PEGASUS WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON GAAAAH WHERE ARE MY HANDS WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME...


...Five minutes later...


I awoke from my raging-scare freak out thing, and noticed I was halfway across the clearing I originally appeared in. I guess I had a pretty big freak out. There were also upturned rocks, and shredded grass everywhere.

I rolled onto my back and stared into the cloudless sky. I layed there for a little while, just thinking and trying not to panic. At one point, I even lifted my hoof up to my face and started crying about my poor hands being degraded into their basic form.

My self-fueled sad rant to myself was suddenly cut off, as the sun quickly flipped off the horizon, with the moon moving just as quickly to replace it.

What the fuck?

I started looking at where the sun moved to on the horizon, well, my horizon anyways. Can't really see much of a horizon with trees in your way. Anyways, I looked to where my horizon was, and saw nothing. The sun was gone. Looking over at the moon though, I could clearly see I wasn't on Earth anymore.

There was a horse's head in the moon. I was about to have another internal panic attack when I heard a wolf howl off in the distance. That's when I noticed just how dark it had actually gotten.

I need shelter, and fast! I quickly shut down my laptop, to which the screen was still glowing, closed the lid, and then shoved it in my backpack. Quickly still, I somehow managed to pick the bag up with my hooves and stick it on my front shoulders. It kinda dug into my ...wings... a bit, but I chalked it up to just being fitted wrong.

I don't think Death got my exact size in this body, unless he somehow examined me before I left.

I ran off in a random direction in the forest. I started wondering how I was able to run, then promptly faceplanted because I was thinking too hard about it, but when I got back up I forgot what I was thinking about before. I just continued on.

A cave jutted out of the ground. A cave which I saw. A cave which didn't look inhabited. A cave I could steal. I was about to head in, when I suddenly shivered.

It was pretty cold, and my fur doesn't feel thick. Feels like a T-shirt, actually. Before I go in, I should grab something for a blanket, like a big leaf or something. Sadly this was not a rainforest, and there were no abnormally large leaves nearby.

Hm... Think, think.

Oh, I got it! I remember asking death to make my laptop factorize items. Maybe it could 'manufacture' a blanket?

I grabbed the bag in my hoof, and pulled it off my back and plopped it in front of me. After opening the bag, I grabbed the laptop out and pressed the power button. The laptop booted up, and I clicked unlock (there was no password set up yet).

I expected it to be a program that would allow me to build things, so I started looking in each individual folder. I quickly found that this method of search-and-find was not very efficient. I clicked on the main hard drive, and did a full search for 'Factory.'

Nothing.

When I searched for 'Manufacture,' the search box still came up empty. But when I was about to give up, I searched 'Build,' and a program named, Build-it, Cortana popped up.

I clicked it. I dialogue box popped up saying, "Loading..." With black text on a white background.

When it finished loading, a large blue box appeared. Within the blue box, was a horizontal scroll bar located near the bottom of the window, at this point only showing three items; Help, Settings, and Foodstuffs. I scrolled the bar sideways, and more list items appeared. In order, the items were listed as: Help, Settings, Foodstuffs, Housing, Clothing, Machinery, Weaponry, Decorations, Currency, and Other. The Weaponry section would have been fun to look around in, but for now, since I knew what I needed, I clicked on Housing. Another scrollbar appeared above the first one, this time listing: Bedroom, Kitchen, Bathroom, Living Room, and Other. I clicked on Bedroom

...Yet another scrollbar appeared above that one. This one going all the way to the top of the blue window the program is running on. The first thing I saw was 'First Night Blanket.'

I see somebody anticipated that I would need one.

I clicked on the icon, and it flipped over to reveal a recipe. It literally said 'A crap ton of grass,' and 'About a half ton of feathers.' Both were in a red font.

...

I really hope this isn't accurate weighing. I'd die under that much weight.

I decided I'd grab the grass first. Seemed simple enough at first, just grab the stuff with my handweird hoof suction cup thing, and pull, but nooo. Life wanted to be a jerk and show me that, even though these hooves can lift a laptop bag, they cannot lift a wee piece of grass. What did that mean? I had to use my mouth. Like an animal. Luckily I managed to block out the taste. After I had a good pile going, I ran into another problem. What the hell do I do with the materials? Do I jus-- Oh. I guess all I had to do was push the material in front of the laptop. When I pushed the grass in front of the laptop, the grass was wrapped in a cyan aura, and was lifted into the air. the materials for the grass on-screen also went green. Easy.

Now time for the feathers!

I looked back at my wings, taking note that they would probably be the only source of feathers I would find for a while. Again, I tried to use my hooves, but it just felt wierd, if you know what I mean. (And, like grass, the feathers didn't come out.) I decided to use my mouth again, instead. I bent my head towards my wing, the wing being awfully wierd to move, and ripped a feather out with my mouth, "Ow! Mother fu-!"

Spitting the feather on to the ground, I decided I would need a better way. Luckily, at that moment a bird landed right in front of me and looked at me as if to say, 'Are you okay?'

My brain went elsewhere at that moment.

Hmm... I could squish the birdy and use his feathers. I looked down at my hoof, "I'm a horse now... Horses have strong legs. Would they be strong enough to bash a bird's head in?" I asked aloud. The bird tilted its head at me and then started to back away, as if understanding me. I put on a sadistic smile as it widened it's eyes, and then I launched, smashing it's head into the ground. There were squawks of alarm around me and the sound of small wingbeats. It seems the rest of the flock saw what happened.

Looking down to the dead bird, I noticed that there was practically nothing left of it's head. "Yep, definitely strong enough." I confirmed. At least it felt no pain when it died...

Now I'll spare you the details of what happened next, as I still had to use my mouth to remove the feathers, I will just say it wasn't the greatest experience, and I'd rather not have to do it again.

I then moved my new pile of feathers in front of my laptop, which again, wrapped it in a cyan glow and lifted it.

Except this time was different. The two piles rolled together, and suddenly flashed brightly. I covered my eyes with a hoof, and once I was able to see again after blinking, I saw... Nothing.

No blanket, no feathers, no grass. Just an empty space above my laptop where the stuff was previously floating. I was about to freak out when suddenly something flashed above me, and I felt something drape over my back.

It was warm. I sat with the blanket on my back for a few minutes, but then life had to interrupt my calmness with a loud 'brung-brung' noise coming from my laptop. When I looked back at the screen it said in a large dialogue box across the center, "Battery is critically low (6%). Consider saving documents and shutting down."

Aw, well... I guess I should shut it down.

I shut it down, and it was sad. It was like putting down a cat. The battery was almost dead. Never to be used again.

Oh yeah I asked death for a solar panel. Heh. Now ain't I just smart?

...

But I still have to wait until sunrise to go charge it. Damnit.

With everything done that I needed done out here, I put my laptop unto the bag, and proceeded into the cave with my grassfeather blanket in tow. Once the darkness fully enveloped me, it became very clear that navigating through here would be hard. I considered my options.

On one ha--Hoof, I could stumble around blindly and more than likely walk into a snake or two (Or maybe a giant spider), but on the other hand... hoof ... Fuck it, sticking with hand. On the other hand, I could use the remaining battery in my laptop to act as a giant flashlight.

I looked over my shoulder---which was weird to do as a pony, because my head basically did a one-hundred and forty degree turn-and looked at my backpack thing. The way the two sides sat on my shoulder left a sort of double log looking thing, a hump on my left and a hump on my right. These humps went a little bit higher than my shoulders themselves, and I figured that I could place my laptop on top of them, because it would have a stable lump on both sides to rest upon. Though, not that I'd really have to worry about it falling, as Death did say he was going to make it indestructible, and would more than likely just be a nuisance having to pick it up all the time... Though I'd still rather not stumble into a giant spider, so I'll go with using my laptop as a guide.

I pulled out my laptop from the bag, and turned it on. The screen lit up, and instantly I could see better within the cave. I lifted the laptop onto my back with some awkwardly mad skills, and my mouth. Seriously though, my mouth is good for everything! No wait! You pervs don't even think about saying that!

Ah, who am I kidding, you probably already did.

Anyways, once the laptop was on my back, it was like the cave was never dark in the first place. Every nook and cranny was lit, and... Oh damnit, battery died and I didn't even get a foot into the cave.

It seems all that was just filler, then.

I put the laptop back into my bag with some more mad mouth skills and continued on my way. Eventually, after crashing into multiple walls and using recursion to recursively curse curses, I made it to a large opening that was glowing with a slightly green tint.

I approached cautiously. I wasn't sure whether the glow was just a rock, or something man made. Though it turned out it was just a rock, as when I peered around the corner there was a large green rock that was glowing in the center of a large, clear area. After I fully emerged from the corner, I headed to the far wall so that I could see anyone who tries to enter. Pulling my backpack thing off, I set it on the stone floor beside me. I wrapped the blanket around my body like a Horse Burrito, and rested my head on the bag facing the entrance.

After lying down for a couple moments, I noticed what looked to be a smooth black rock, that was rising and falling, as if it were breathing.

What the fuck? I had to go check this out. Is this what is meant by the heart of the mountain? Is this even considered a mountain?

Once I got unwrapped, I snuck over to the movement, well, as much as you can sneak when your feet make solid 'clop' noises no matter what you do. The green rock in the center of the cave gave me just enough light to make out that this was, in fact, not a rock. As I scanned the thing over, I noticed a pair of closed eyes and twitching ears. Though the most prominent feature I saw at the moment was the legs.

They had holes in them.

After my initial 'What the fuck?' moment, I continued scanning it's body. On its back were two insect like wings, and underneath was a greenish carapace. As it snore, it opened its mouth into a short yawn. I saw fangs, and then it began moving it's legs.

MOTHERFUCKING SHIT! IT'S WAKING UP!

I backpedalled to the giant green rock and hid behind it, afraid it had heard me and had awoken. After steeling my courage, I peeked around the rock, only to see that the thing had just simply stretched out across the floor, still sound asleep. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Heading back to my stuff, I looked over to the thing.

It doesn't look too dangerous, the fangs might get me though. Should I leave?

I looked over to the exit of the cavern, contemplating.

If I leave, I probably won't find any other shelter, but if I stay I might get killed... Again.

I weighed my options, and decided that a quick, painless death from a fang bite to the neck would be preferred over freezing to death, or death by whatever else may be out there. It's also unlikely that the thing---I'm sick of calling it a thing. All I know it's Fucking Ugly, so I'll call it Fugly. No wait, it has insect wings, so I'll call it a Fugfly. Yes, Fugfly it is---It is unlikely that the Fugfly would wake up before me, right?

Climbing back into my Horse Burrito, I rested my head and continued watching the Fugfly warily. After a long while I slowly drifted off into a dreamless sleep.


oOo The most innovative chapter break in the world oOo


......Poke......

...Poke...

..Poke..

"Ugnnnn go away. I would ask for five minutes, but that wouldn't be long enough. Come back in three hours."

...

Poke.



...



SLAP!

I rocketed up, knocking whatever was hovering over me away, "I'm up, Mom! God, try waking me up calmly ne-" After I blinked the blurries out of my eyes, I noticed something that I had hoped was a dream---I was still in the cave.

This meant that I had actually died, and that all that had happened was not a dream. The realization crushed me a little, but I got over it unnaturally quickly. It was almost as if my mind didn't care, which troubled me a little. I'll have to look into that...

I was snapped out of my moment of inner confusion by a loud click-clack noise. When I looked up, I saw the Fugfly thing staring at me with narrowed eyes...

OH SHIT! IT'S GONNA HUNT ME! I RAGRET MY DECISION TO STAY! AND I MEAN EVERY SINGLE LETTER OF IT!

The Fugfly began advancing as I began to back away. This, however, was in vain, as I had set my 'bed' up to be directly beside the wall, and my butt quickly smacked against it. But then it spoke.

"Why are you here?"

Those four words were enough to make me have a panic attack, and promptly faint.



...



Thwack - Plink-plink

Ow, what the- Thwack! Plink-plink

Opening my eyes, I quickly looked around for the source of my dis-THWACK!

"OW! What the fuck!" I practically screamed, shooting up onto my fe-hooves and whirling to face the direction the pain was coming from.

It was the Fugfly, and it looked rather bored. It lifted a hoof and proceeded to toss a rock at my face, this time a lot more lightly than the rest. It bounced off my nose painlessly, but I glared at the Fugfly anyways.

"You know, prey, it's not good to black out like you just did in front of a predator." It spat and snarled, though 'It' sounded like a girl. 'It' also looked like it had some sharp teeth, and a sharp horn-thing that it could stab me with. I began to hyperventilate.

The Fugfly, seeming to notice this, immidiately stopped snarling and stood away from the entrance, "Look, I'm sorry, okay. Just run along. I don't actually eat ponies." She's sorry? Also, she won't eat me?

Huh. I guess I'll have to check this out now. Now that my fear had slightly subsided and partially replaced with curiosity, I looked up at the Fugfly, "You... Won't eat me?"

"Nope."

I put two and two together and realized that if she won't eat me, then she isn't a threat to me. So, like the cocky dumbass I am, I said, "Then I'm staying here."

"W-what? No you can't, I'll... I'll..." She trailed off, realizing that she already revealed to me that she would not eat me. Her face slowly morphed into that of a sullen ...Fugfly? Person? This is confusing.

"Well, what's wrong? Why don't you want me here?"

"I--Uhhh..." Suddenly the Fugfly adopted an expression of anger, while her eyes began to tear up, "Because everypony hates me!" She screamed, lifting her front hooves and shoving me back. Woah, shit, I think she is a little crazy. I began to back up again, not trusting my ability to defend myself in this foreign body. Maybe I should actually leave...

While I backed up, she moved forwards. I bumped my rear into the cave walls. Deja vu, anyone? Once she realized I was cornered, she stopped, and began yelling unintelligible things at me, and finally ultrabitchslapped me with her hoof. I was knocked to the floor.

Yep, that settles it, she's crazy as fuck. I need to get out of here.

Groaning, I slowly stood up and looked nervously to where the Fugfly was. She was staring at me in horror. When she saw the fear on my face when I looked at her she broke down, "I'm sorry, look, ple-ease just leave me, I can't be around anypony. I'll stand over here---" She moved over to the side of the cave, head down, "---so you can leave in peace."

At this point, I had no clue what to do. In front of me, there was a possibly-murderous crazy person. Yet at the same time, this same person just started crying. Is that a sign that she's going insane? Or should I try to help her?

Unsure of how I should handle the situation, I backed myself up towards the cave entrance, but paused just inside of it. I was ready to run in case I needed to.

Looking back at the Fugfly, I called out, "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" The Fugfly was visibly confused, shocked, hurt, and... Hopeful?

"I asked if you were okay."

The bug thing continued to sit there, continuing to look as confused as ever. She was opening and closing her mouth as if wanting to reply, but not knowing how to.

She made an excellent impression of a fish. Too bad this exposed her fangs to me.

Finally, she seemed to be able to formulate a reply, "I... I guess so. I think I was just so used to Ponies running away from me whenever they saw me. They'd always say I'm a monster..."

Well, I could certainly see why people might say that, but this is a different world so maybe the other 'people' have different standards or something? I quickly looked behind me at the winding tunnel that would lead me to safety, then I looked back to the Fugfly. I steeled myself, and asked, "Why would they say that?

She hesitated for a moment, "I... I feed on love."

You fucking what? Is that even possible? How does that even work? "You what now?"

The Fugfly looked to the ground and began to cry, "I feed on love, okay---" After screaming that, she lowered her voice to a faint whisper, "---Please don't hate me."

I looked at the roof, trying to digest this new information, then looked back at her, "...How does that even work?" The question seemed to rouse her from her once again saddened state.

"What do you mean?" She asked, slowly looking up towards me through her tear drenched eyes.


"I mean exactly what I said."

"So... You don't hate me for eating love?" Once again with the whole "I'm a monster" thing. Is it a bad thing to eat love? Maybe it hurts people and leaves them love-less?

Deciding against running for the moment, I sat down. "If you were to try to eat my love would that hurt me?"

"No, I just passively feed off of the love around me. Nopony feels a thing." Her eyes were still teary, but the talking had seemed to calm her down a little

Well, if it doesn't hurt anyone why does she think she's a monster? "As long as it don't kill me, I'm fine with it."

She looked at me with glee, "So then I guess you wouldn't mind if I told you that I've been passively feeding off you the whole entire time?"

There was an awkward silence.

A really LOOOONG awkward silence. A VERY long time, and I just sat there and stared at her. This is actually getting to be a little bit silly. Why was I scared of you? Your teeth were sharp? Was I judging a book by its cover? I noticed that the Fugfly was beginning to shake again, what with the silence.

Deciding to break said silence, I asked the first question that came to mind, "What's your name?"

The Fugfly was not expecting me to ask that, as evident by her head jolting upwards, along with her eyes widening. "My name... I-is C-Chrysalis." She stuttered out.

I looked around the cave, the green, glowing rock giving me just enough light to see some new features I hadn't noticed before.

On the one side of the cave, where she had been sleeping when I first walked in, was a very worn looking patch of dirt and rock. It looked like she had been sleeping here for weeks, maybe even months. With my eyes still wandering around the cave, I asked, "Do you have a home?"

The Fugfly jumped at the question, then hesitated, "I, I... Uh.. Yes, this cave is my home."

I looked back to Chrysalis, "No, I meant a home that you can feel safe in, a home where random people - like me - can't just walk inside. A home with a locking door, and a comfortable bed."

Chrysalis looked at the floor, and muttered a weak "No..."

Deciding that I should follow through on the question my brain decided to ask, I proceeded with, "Would you like to live with me?" Wait, I shouldn't have asked her that... What if she is actually a psychopathic killer?

Meh, already died once, wouldn't hurt to do it again.

...Actually it would, I just meant that figuratively.

She looked up at me with bright eyes, her past depression forgotten. She then jumped to her holy hooves, and began yelling while jumping around in circles, "Oh my gosh! YES! YES! YES! YES!"

"Woah, calm down!" I yelled, trying to outmatched her voice. I stood up once again, prepared to bolt out the entrance of the cave.

"I can't! I finally have a real home!" She screamed, still prancing around in circles.

"You mean you've never had a home before?" I asked. I had calmed down a bit now afted the adrenaline died from her initial outburst, and had once again sat down.

Cautiously, she said, "Well... There was the few ponies that I replaced... But none of those were my actual home."

Replaced? What does she mean by replaced? Is she some sort of hit man? Identity thief? Maybe if she asks, I shouldn't give her my real name. Maybe I should ask her what she means. Before I could voice my thoughts, though, she squealed out happily, "Where is your home?'

That stopped any train of thought I was currently experiencing. As far as I knew, Death had set me up with a place to live and enough currency to last a month.

The question was; where is my new home? I quickly told her 'one sec,' then turned around and hooved myself over to my backpack thing. Hopefully Death left some information in here. Not wanting to leave Chrysalis out of my sight, I threw my double-sided backpack onto the floor in front of me, and began to look through it. I began by opening each pocket, finding stuff that I already knew was there, but in a pocket I hadn't yet searched I found some gold coin things, and a note. On the note was written:

#17, 3rd Street East, Ponyville.

-Death

Huh, okay. "Hey... Uhh. Chrysalis, was it? I know where I live."

"Really? Great! Let's go!" Suddenly she shot around me and out of the cave.

Holy Hell, she's fast. Yeah, if she decided to attack me I wouldn't have even been able to run... Good God...

Ugh... I might as well commit myself to this now. I turned around and looked to the cave entrance, "Wait!" I yelled, "You don't even know where we're going!"

She came shooting back in, "Oh yeah, where are we going?" I flinched back a bit by her sudden approach.

There was an awkward silence. She noticed my flinch, but neither of us said anything about it. I also didn't know where to go, so even if I wanted to answer, I couldn't, "Where is the nearest town? I.. Uhh... Got lost in this forest."

"Oh, that'd be Ponyville! I can take you there and then we can find you a map to your home from there right?"

"Err... Yeah, something like that. Lemme just grab my stuff." I then spun on my hooves, almost faceplanted from the quick movement, and then picked up my bags and set them on my shoulders. The Fugfly looked at me weirdly.

"You know those saddlebags are supposed to go on your flank, right? It's much more comfortable." I looked back at the bags, which I had just learned to actually be saddlebags. I should have guessed though. I moved the bags to my butt without saying a word.

"Well, let's go I guess." Instantly the Fugfly shot out of the cave again.

"Uggh." I groaned, she's freaking crazy... Meh, I got myself into this.

I resolved that I might as well get a move on, and began walking out of the cave into the bright sunlight.

Author's Note:

-Tries to subtly insert reference.
-reference isn't subtle.


Yes, Chrysalis acts OOC, but... All I have to say is, ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED.

Well, that and, ALTERNATE UNIVERSE TAG AIN'T THERE FOR NUTHIN.

But yeah, constructive criticism pl0x. My sexy good awesome writing skills are only as good as someone teaches it to me (or as good as I teach it to myself.)



What Silver knows about Equestria:
-I am now a Pegasus
-The Fugfly eats love
-Her name is Chrysalis
-That's a saddlebag