Chapter 4. Tale Spin
I poke my head over the couch, a human is standing there, Moon Shadow is with her. I frown in confusion, the human is short, slim, with bright blonde hair and big blue eyes. She looks to be about forty. I think she picks up on my confusion, she lifts up the side of her sun dress, revealing a nimbus cloud cutie mark.
My eyes widen, “Nimby!” Ignoring everything else, I leap over the couch, right at Nimby, my hands are between human and pony right now, I throw them around her as I hug her as tightly as I can.
A tear splashes onto my shoulder, she pulls back and cups my face in her hands, “At first, I thought Discord had killed you. Then the ponies defeated him. I found out about the curse. I’ve been waiting twenty-five years to find you again.” She pulls me back into a hug, I sigh happily and hug her back.
After a long time, I hear a cleared throat behind me, I pull away and look back, Dust steps forward, “When you told me who you were, I went through my records. Nimby here talked to Princess Twilight Sparkle. At first she begged to be cursed the same way, so she could turn back with you. Princess Twilight refused. But once the twenty-five years were up, she came through the portal.
I look back at Nimby, she smiles, “Why didn’t you get a unicorn to cast an aura around you? So you could be a pony?”
Nimby giggles, “I was too excited, once my doctor cleared me to go through, I just galloped through the portal, I didn’t even wait. Princess Twilight was there, calling for me to slow down, but I didn’t. Then I had to spend a while figuring out how to balance on two legs. I brought some gold through with me, though I didn’t need it. Lightning Dust here had a chariot waiting for me when I finally got out of the portal complex. I never even rode in a chariot in Equestria.”
“Oh, I don’t care, you are here!” I throw my soon to be hooves around her again.
“So, you can come back home. My herd wants to meet you. I’ve been talking about you for twenty-five years.”
I pull away, a frown on my face, “Back to Equestria? I barely remember most of it, and most of those memories are scary.”
She shudders, “I know, Loopy, I was there with you. But the last twenty-five years, Equestria is back to how it was when we were foals. Harmony reigns again in Equestria.”
I look down, “I wasn’t planning on going back just yet. I have things pretty good here. I have my own airplane, I have friends here, what would Grandma say?”
Kendra comes over and kneels down, hugging me tightly, I smile, “Nimby, may I introduce you to my best friend on this Earth, Kendra.”
Nimby blinks a few times, looking at Kendra, then she leaps over and joins the hug, “Any friend of Loopy is my friend too.” She says.
“How long can you stay, Nimby?” I ask.
She looks unsure, “Well, the portal closes tomorrow at midnight. But they can open the portal when needed.” She runs a hand down her arm, “I miss my wings, though.”
Sunset Shimmer comes forward, “Well, if you want your wings back, there are two options, you can go back through the portal then have an aura cast around you as you come back here. Or the magic of your cutie mark can be used, you can go through the same transformation that Loopy is going through here. You are welcome here, Nimby, for as long as you want to stay.”
Nimby’s face falls, “I want to stay, more than you will ever know. But my herd will miss me. And most of all, my little Loops will miss me even more. I really have to go back.”
I cock my head to the side, “Loops?”
She giggles, “The reason I wasn’t the first through the portal when it opened. I just gave birth, a little pegasus colt. I had to wait to be cleared by my doctor first. One of my herd-sisters is taking care of him, but he needs me.”
I nod, then hug her tighter, “You’ll come and visit then?”
She giggles, “I’ll visit every portal opening, Loopy, I promise. Maybe we can get you to come through the portal sometime.”
Dust comes forward, nuzzling me, “Well, since she’s only staying the night, let’s have fun.”
I look at her quizzically. She smiles, “I knew it would be big for you when she showed up, though I was hoping she would be a pony. Moon Shadow told me how much you missed her. So, we are going to have a party.”
I hear a party horn, and turn around. Mindy is bouncing there, all the furniture is gone, and the room has been decorated, and several tables laden with food have been set up in the last five minutes. How, I have no clue.
Ponies and humans are now starting to show up, Mindy is a party unicorn, parties with no notice are her specialty. Mindy comes up to me, “I know you don’t know most of the ponies that are here. But a party isn’t a party without guests. So, I hope you’ll be able to make friends with some of them.
I reach over and hug Mindy, “Thank you, Mindy.” I murmur in her ear.
***
My eyes pop open, I’m warm, and comfortable. I feel a body on each side of me, Kendra on one side, Nimby on the other. Both are still out. That gets a warm smile from me. Then I notice something, I’m fully pony now. I glance at the wall clock, it’s four in the afternoon! I flop my head back onto the bed and think, the party went on until past two in the morning, then Nimby, Kendra, and I talked until well after the sun came up. Then we decided to sleep. We slept the day away! The good news is I slept through the hardest part of the change. I wiggle my way from between my friends and move to the end of the bed.
I whisper to myself, “Okay, I’ve got wings now, and four legs. How does all of this work?”
I search through the sensations in my head, I can feel these new wings of mine. I couldn’t last night when they were budding, but apparently the wiring is now in place. I use my new, more flexible neck, to look at a wing. It’s comfortably folded at my side. Experimentally I try to get it to move, and am gratified to see it dutifully move away from my body. I keep pushing and the wing fully unfolds. That gets a smile. I turn my head the other direction, and soon both of my wings are extended. I flap them slowly, trying to find a rhythm and how to keep them in synch. I like these new wings!
I’m interrupted by a chuckle from the open door, I look over, Lightning Dust is sitting there, “Typical pegasus, working on the wings before you try to walk.”
I give her a sour look, “I’ve always liked flying more than anything.”
She nods, “I know, and tomorrow, we are going to get you in the air, Loopy.”
I frown in confusion, “I thought you couldn’t…” Then I trail off, I was going to say that she couldn’t fly.
She moves a bit into the room, “I can’t fly, Loopy. That’s why I said we. Irony, Mischief, and I are going to get you in the air. But that will have to wait until tomorrow.”
I furrow my brow, Irony is an Earth pony. I shake my head to clear it. I look back at my sleeping friends, “I wish she could stay.”
The bed shifts as Dust lightly hops up on to it, her wing folds over me. I watch her suppress a gasp as she does so. She brings me close, “She’s got a foal, and a herd. You can see her when she visits. Unless you decide you want to go back to Equestria.”
I shake my head so hard my ears flop, “And leave Kendra? And Grandma? And all the ponies here?”
She murmurs in my ear, “That is an option. Though immigration might let Kendra through, as a close friend of a pony.”
I look at Kendra, she’s already got to learn earth magic. I don’t know if I can ask her to do that. But I don’t want to be without either of them. “Discord was an ass.”
Dust sighs, “Yes, he was. And no, he wasn’t.”
I look up at her, “Huh?”
She moves away, keeping her voice low in deference to the sleeping humans, “Discord was ultimately a creature of balance. Ponies were too orderly, humanity too chaotic. He had to restore the balance.”
“By screwing up our lives.” I growl softly.
She cocks her head to the side, “Your life was made harder, but you weren’t sent to a horrible place. Despite what you saw yesterday, humanity actually accepts us. In fact, our relations with the humans has created a tech boom back in Equestria. And humanity is flourishing as well. A full three percent of the population is showing magical potential. That is a lot of humans, Loopy. Ponies are accepted wherever we go, even in some places that were traditionally very against change. They have accepted ponies and our way of life. In fact, there is only one country that still does not accept ponies.”
“China, I’ve heard.”
She nods, “Yes, China. But on the whole, ponies are a fact of life, Loopy. Some have gone back, well, a lot have gone back to Equestria. But a lot are staying. We are having our own children, we are making lives here. Discord sought balance, and we are all benefitting from it.”
I look back at Nimby, she’s snoring softly, a little bit of drool hanging from her mouth, “I lost her, for twenty-five years, he took away my friend.”
Once again, the wing is put over me, “He took away Nimby, but you have Kendra. Would you give up Kendra to have those years back with Nimby?”
I can’t talk, I feel the tears wanting to fall. She smiles and her other wing comes around and brushes against my cheek, absorbing the tears, “That is a decision you wouldn’t want to make, right?”
I sniffle and shake my head.
I’m pulled tighter into the hug, “We need to wake them up, I’m assuming you’ll want to fly them in your Widgeon to Dubuque?”
Again, I sniffle, “I can’t.”
Dust giggles, “I’m afraid I took some liberty, Loopy. Your plane has already been modified. I had the crew work on it most of the night last night. You can still fly your baby.”
I pull away, “Really?”
She nods, I smile, “Normally, I would be really upset at you for touching my baby without permission.” I hug her, “But in this case, you are forgiven, Lightning Dust. Thank you!”
***
Nimby walks with Kendra and I out of Dust’s house, apparently my plane has been moved to Dust’s dock as well, berthed next to a large pontoon boat with Dust’s cutie mark on the back. I look back at Dust, she was patient and helpful while I had to relearn to walk. Ten minutes of face planting and my legs tangling up. But now I can walk, prance, trot, gallop, all of that. A couple of ponies are sitting by the door to my Widgeon, two of them I recognize from before, Mischief and Zed. A set of identical twins are sitting with them, they are the same color as Princess Luna, a dark, midnight blue, with violet manes, and a single brilliant gumball pink stripe in both manes. Though both have odd color eyes, one bright blue, the other cerise.
Mischief bounces over to me, “Some of our sisters, this is Rinoa.” She says, pointing to the pony with her left eye that is blue. “The other is Rydia.” Indicating the pony with a blue right eye.
“A pleasure.” Both of them say in unison. Though both speak completely monotone.
“When Momma Dust told us to convert your plane for pony use.” Rinoa says.
“We were unsure as to why a pegasus would want an airplane when they have perfectly good wings.” Rydia takes up for her sister.
Rinoa continues, “But after Zed, Mischief and us started, we found that your plane is actually a joy to work on.”
Rydia looks at the Widgeon, “I hope you enjoy our modifications.”
Mischief hops into the air, “You get used to them.” She bats Rinoa’s ear, then Rydia’s, their only reaction is a flick of the ear that is hit, “But if you need help, they are the best.”
“Sister, Please…” Rydia says.
And Rinoa takes up for the other unicorn, “Don’t do that.”
Mischief giggles. Zed walks forward very slowly, his eyes downcast, “I know you didn’t want me to do anything to your baby.” He starts.
I narrow my eyes, “I believe I said something about gelding.” Causing him to flinch. Then I jump at him, flinging my forelegs and wings around him. “I’m sorry for that, I overreacted.” I murmur in his ear, nuzzling his ear. I pull away, and both of his ears are twitching, his face is positively glowing. Then I realize what I did, and my face starts to heat up.
Kendra giggles from behind me, “Loopy, your wings.” I look back and then facehoof.
I hear Mischief giggle, “Oh yeah, I told you Zed. She’s totally got the hots for you.” She narrowly avoids a swap from her brother by flying straight up. She does a loop in the air and lands on the wing lightly,
“So, ya gonna see what we did?”
I cock my head to the side, “In a minute, I want to know something first.”
Mischief frowns, “Okay, what?”
“I’ve heard Zed talk, you call Rinoa and Rydia your sisters, yet you are the only one of your family that talks with a British accent.”
Mischief giggles, “That comes from spending two years in the pony colony in the UK.” She raises her forehooves in air quotes, “Cultural exchange, you need to learn how ponies live elsewhere.” She blows out her breath in a huff, “It was fun, and I love the way they speak, I found myself talking like them within about six months. Zed here,” She flashes down and bats one of his ears, “Can talk the accent even better. But he can turn it off like a switch. I can’t.”
“And you two?” I look at Rinoa and Rydia.
“We didn’t find the accent appealing.” Rydia says.
“So we never really talked like that.” Rinoa finishes.
“It would do you two good to have a little inflection in your voices.” Mischief snarks. Though she wilts at a look from Zed.
Zed brightens, “Let’s look at your plane.”
We are interrupted by a gasp, I turn, Nimby is touching the picture on the front of the Widgeon, “You remembered me.” She whispers.
I move over to her, putting a wing around her, “I had Kendra paint her, my ability to draw can be rated in the negatives.”
Kendra smiles, “I just drew what Loopy told me to draw. I’m okay at drawing.”
Nimby looks back at Kendra then at the plane, “You did a beautiful job, Kendra. Thank you.”
Kendra hugs Nimby as Mischief opens the door to the plane, she doesn’t need to talk, she just points. I move through the cabin, and hop into the new pilots chair. It’s been reshaped for my new anatomy. I fiddle with the controls a bit, figuring out how to fit my hooves into the new wheel, it’s actually pretty natural for me with this, I reach back with a wing and close the main power switch.
I hear a voice next to me, and I have to fight to keep my wings limber, “Grumman did a really good job with the Widgeon, I read up on it after I fixed your altimeter.” Zed says, “The plane is very rugged, designed for rough field landings, and it’s really good on water. The new engines you put in have a lower center of gravity, meaning less chance of porpoising. I did take a couple of design thoughts from some other amphibious planes. You now have a water rudder, and it’s controlled by that new control on your left.”
I put my hoof on the small twist joystick, my hoof fits into it, and I can feel resistance as I try to move it. Zed continues, “Your tail wheel is also controlled by that, it should make taxiing a bit easier. Your hydraulic system is more than adequate for the task.” He smiles, “I also added a small electrically operated trolling motor, it has its own battery pack, and it’s charged off the same system for your bikes. You can go fishing with your plane, any time you want. It’s far more maneuverable in the water than it was. The joystick controls it electrically. It has haptic feedback so you can feel what you are doing with it. I was able to get my hooves on a watertight case and put the computer under your dash. Since you didn’t already have a glass cockpit, I didn’t put one in, though if you want one, I can certainly install one, if you like.”
I look at everything, then I kiss the earth pony on the cheek, he flinches back, his ears twitching, I find my face is glowing, “Thank you, Zed.” I murmur into his ear. He backs up between the seats, his face red.
Mischief bounces over him and comes up next to me, “So, you like it?”
I nod, “Very much so, thank you so much.”
Mischief giggles, “I didn’t do much, I just held the tail up for an hour while Zed installed the rudder and the tail wheel controls.”
I gasp, “That couldn’t have been easy.”
She giggles, “Nah, it was easy, and a lot easier than pulling the whole plane out onto the shore to work on it. Rydia and Rinoa could have moved the water, but they were busy following Zed’s instructions. So, it fell to me.” She smiles at me, “Anyway, I’ll get us out of here, and let you get Nimby to Dubuque.”
I nuzzle the white pegasus. And to my surprise, her face glows as she backs herself out of the plane. Kendra hops in and sits in the front passenger seat, indicating for a hesitant Nimby to sit next to me. I pat the seat with a hoof, letting her know it’s okay. She finally sits down and fumbles with the restraints. For a moment, I’m at a loss. How do I put on a seatbelt with no hands. I hear a voice from outside, “Press the restraint button.” Zed calls.
I find the button and press it, restraints snake themselves over me and hook where they belong, not impeding my freedom of movement, but keeping me securely in the seat. That gets a smile out of me. I check around my plane then reach up with a wing, “Starting one.”
***
It’s after sundown when we land in Dubuque. There is a small airport next to the portal complex. The massive building is bustling with activity. While the portal can be opened at will, it’s not done very often, most business is handled during the regular two and a half year cycle of the portal. Some are coming back to Earth, some are heading back to Equestria. I look at the large marble statue, Nimby is standing next to me.
“You’ll be back, right?” I sniffle.
She nods, “I wish I had remained a pony. I’ll do that next time. But yes, I’ll visit you any time I can.”
The thought of staying pony if I come back, I don’t know. Part of me likes the idea of walking through the portal and coming back human. I think for a long time as Nimby stares at the portal with me. Finally, she breaks the silence, “I’ll miss you.”
I turn and rear up, putting my forelegs and my wings around Nimby, “Exactly as much as I’ll miss you, my friend.”
She sobs a bit, but finally pulls away, “I need to see how Loops is. How my herd is doing. They will want to get back to Cloudsdale.” She kneels down and looks me in the eyes, “I’m so glad you were okay. I hope you’ll come home, sooner rather than later.”
I watch as she walks slowly to the portal. I can feel the magic of the portal, it permeates the room, I could feel it when I landed. This portal represents very old magic. I can feel that in my cutie mark. “Love ya, Nimby.” I whisper as she steps through the portal with a deep thrum.
I turn and walk slowly out of the complex, Kendra catches up to me when I finally exit the complex, “Guess what.”
“What?” I’m able to moan, though when Kendra puts her hand on my head, rubbing my ear, I have to admit that feels pretty good.
“I know you are sad about Nimby. But if you want to visit, I can join you as your guest. So, if you want to visit Equestria, I’ll be there with you. I talked to one of the Equestrian representatives. All you have to do is sponsor me, and I can go with you.”
That actually gets a smile, “Awesome, from what Nimby said, Equestria is far different than I remember it. I think you’ll like it there.”
“Well, Dust said to make sure we fly home tonight. So, let’s go.”
My smile actually wides, “I’m going to fly tomorrow. Without a plane.”
Kendra kneels down and hugs me, “And you’ll do wonderfully, Loopy.
***
Our trip back home doesn’t take us to New Beginnings, we end up landing in Bozeman. I finally land, very early in the morning, at the airport there. A car is sitting there when I taxi up to my parking spot. Irony is on two hooves, and leaning up against it. I have to stop and look as I finally shut down the airplane.
“Wow, it’s pretty.” I say.
Irony smirks, “Dust gave it to me, it’s a 1971 Mustang.”
Dust comes around the car, “It’s not time for gawking at the pretty car, Loopy. Let’s get moving.” She opens up the passenger door and folds down the front seat.
Kendra and I hop in, and get a surprise, “Hi, Mischief.”
She grumbles at me a few times and lies her head back down.
“You’ll have to forgive my wayward daughter, she’s not a morning pony.” Dust says with a chuckle.
Irony sits down in her seat and turns the key. The engine roars to life and we sedately drive out of the airport and south from the city. I’m tired from flying most of the night, so Kendra and I just nod off in the back seat.
A couple of hours later, I notice the engine has been cut off, I pop my head up, looking around. Dust opens the door and once again folds the seat forward, allowing me to emerge into the bright sunlight. We are parked well off the road. I can see the trail we apparently followed in. Irony opens the trunk and pulls out a large duffel bag, along with another bag that clinks a bit. Dust grabs the duffel, but Irony fends off Dust trying to grab the other bag. “I’m here to help, love. Let me.” She says softly. Dust huffs and leads us in between the trees. After about ten minutes of walking, we make it to the edge of a sheer cliff. A long and wide valley is in front of us, pine trees everywhere. It’s so beautiful that I almost can’t believe my eyes.
Dust fearlessly steps to the edge of the cliff, looking down, “Many years ago, I was severely injured. After months of recovery, I was finally cleared to fly again. This is where I took my first flight after my injuries.” She looks at me, her eyes boring into my soul, “And this is where you are going to fly, Loopy.”
I look at the cliff edge and back at Dust, “How?”
Irony shrugs off the bag as Dust sets down the duffel. She opens the zipper and various bits and pieces are pulled out. Dust slowly goes about assembling… whatever it is.
After a few minutes, “Ohhh, it’s a hang glider.” Kendra says.
Dust nods as she fits an aluminum tube into another piece, “I can’t get in the air the usual way. So I fly with this.” Her voice turns mournful, “It’s not the same, but it helps me.” She looks at me, “A bit.”
She gets the fabric covering for the glider, and starts to stretch it across the frame. I move forward to help after it slips off one side for the third time. Before I touch it, I can see Dust’s face. I back away from the venomous glare she’s directed at me.
“I can handle it myself, Loopy.” She growls, then continues her work. In a few more minutes, everything is tightened and ready to go. Dust finally smiles. “Mischief.”
The white pegasus takes to the air as Dust proceeds to strap herself into the glider. Mischief hovers over to me, “Now, you’ve figured out how to move your wings, now let’s see how you can connect your magic with your wings, allowing you to fly.”
Over the next ten minutes, Mischief instructs me how to move my wings, how to feel my connection with the power inside myself.
“Okay, give it a shot, just a gentle lifting off the ground.” Mischief says. I feel that power, and finally flap my wings in unison, feeling that power move through me. My hooves lift off the ground. After a moment, I let my hooves touch the ground again. I look at Mischief, a big smile on my face.
“Okay, that’s good.” Mischief says, then she pushes me.
Right. Off. The. Cliff.
My scream rings through my ears as panic overwhelms me. I flip over to see the ground rushing towards me, and my fear fades as I spread my wings and use my magic. I flap furiously and check my fall. As I rise up, Dust’s hang glider makes it over the cliff edge. I angle to follow her.
“Why is it so tiring to fly?”
Dust pushes on the handle, changing her course, she smirks at me, “The Loopy I remember could fly for hours without breaking a sweat.”
I look down at the trees, “I don’t remember all of that.”
“Moon Shadow is an amazing dreamer, but shaking loose all your memories.” She sighs, “That is beyond anypony. All it takes is time.”
I pull up, Mischief just buzzed us. Dust chuckles as she handles the wake produced by her daughter.
I sigh as I follow Dust as she spirals in an updraft, “I remember flying. But just the flying, not how I did it.”
“Balance, young pegasus. That was a problem you had in junior speedsters camp.”
I shake my head, and almost lose control as my wings lose coordination. I flap furiously to keep up.
“You are soaring gracefully, and I can barely keep in the air.”
“I have good, and expensive, equipment. You have your own wings.” She looks at me, “You just have to figure out why they aren’t doing what you want them to do.”
I think furiously, though I can’t really focus on much other than keeping my wings in rhythm.
And I lose that rhythm as Dust says, out of the blue, “Did you ever take anti-depressants?”
I scramble to get back into rhythm and think furiously, “After my parents died, I was in a very dark place. But I didn’t go to the doctor. I had to move to Kansas.” I look over at her, “I started taking classes to get my pilots license. I found that flying was something that I needed to do.”
She looks at my wryly, “Something you are struggling with now.”
I smile, “No kidding.”
“Oye, are we gonna fly, or what?” Comes Mischief’s voice. She’s right over me, she reaches down and flicks my ear, then takes off, the report of a sonic boom coming back to us as I watch her leave a bright trail behind her.
Dust laughs, “I miss that, go ahead, push yourself. See what your magic is capable of.”
I can feel the connection, but it feels tenuous. I sigh, I can do better than this. I remember flying against Discord. I wouldn’t last ten seconds against him right now. I push for a bit of altitude as Mischief buzzes her mom again. I dive to follow the white pegasus. I feel a tug against a rear hoof as I pass Dust’s glider. I look back, one wing has partially collapsed, she’s spinning down towards the trees.
“Oh no.” I moan as I fold my wings and dive after the stricken glider. I watch her impact with the trees as I follow her.
I get to the ground, and quickly gallop over to Dust’s glider. She’s lying there, she’s moving, that’s a good thing. I grab part of the glider and back up, pulling it off of her.
She rolls over, emitting a wheezing laugh. Tears are rolling down her cheeks. I move over to her and snake a hoof under her head, pulling her up. She continues to laugh, she opens her eyes and focuses on me.
Continuing to chuckle, Dust reaches out a hoof and touches my face, “Thank you, Loopy.”
I try to suppress my tears, “I caused you to crash, I’m so sorry.”
She gasps in pain, nuzzling her left foreleg, “I think it’s broken.” She looks at me and smiles, “It’s alright, Loopy. That was exhilarating.”
I furrow my brow, “But you crashed.”
Her golden eyes focus on me again, “It was fun.”
“What the hell is going on here?” Comes a shout as Mischief slams to the ground. Her wings extend in rage as she stalks towards me, “You hurt my mom. I’m going to kick your…”
“Mischief.” Dust shouts, checking her daughter mid scream.
Mischief wilts at the tone of voice, “Yeah, mom?”
“It was an accident, Loopy had zero desire to hurt me. How about you make yourself useful and help me get back to the car?”
Mischief directs a poisonous glare at me as she picks her mother up, I help by fully disconnecting her from the ruined glider.
“You can help at least by taking the glider back to the car.” Mischief growls as she streaks off. I look around, and slowly gather the parts. Soon all the parts are all within the fabric, which I pull up, with my wings straining, to Irony’s car. When I get up there, Irony pulls the makeshift bag from me gently. She puts it in the trunk and opens the driver’s door so I can hop in the back with Kendra. Mischief is nowhere to be seen.
I look at Dust, “I’m so sorry.”
She looks back at me, a smile on her face, “Don’t be, Loopy. You need to get confident in the air. I know a couple of unicorns that can help with your magic.”
Irony starts the car, “Do you want to go to the hospital here, love?”
Dust chuckles, “It’s a long drive to New Beginnings. Perhaps Bozeman might be a good idea. I’ve heard a couple of pony healers are working there.”
I shake my head vehemently, “Oh no, I’m going to fly you to New Beginnings.”
Dust looks back at me quizzically, “How?”
I cock my head to the side, “My plane, of course.”
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“Many years ago, I was severely injured. After months of recovery, I was finally cleared to fly again. This is where I took my first flight after my injuries.” She looks at me, her eyes boring into my soul, “And this is where you are going to fly, Loopy.”
now that little excerpt brings back memory's.
a vary good chapter and I am hoping I am seeing a few things in it that caught my eye.
I won't say as I do not want to spoil any thing for the readers.
love the art work.
Harts Fire
So they've got her airborne, but Dust had to eat dirt for her?
That's... that's... HERESY!
Umm, no. No he really wasn't.
The original Five Score was blatantly obvious with that Discord was a back-stabbing bastard that did everything he did because it amused him. Even when sentenced to that cursed exile of his, his only regret was quite clearly that his fun had been cut short.
Frankly, this sounds like Lightning Dust is in denial. Searching for some higher meaning in all that suffering, when it was actually a psychopath just doing it all for the lolz. Something totally meaningless that could have been avoided.
The part still works when read from that perspective, but given that Lightning Dust was talking with a pony that had to live in the freaking Everfree for two and a half decades least the god-tyrant find her, I frankly think LD should have at least been called on it.
If not outright bucked in the face. 'Its OK that the Portland Slasher cut off our faces! We got a valuable experience, and it only took twenty-five years for our real faces to grow back!'
Yeash... Talk about Stockholm's syndrome.
6426972 I think you might want to read Dust on the Wind first. Without it you can't understand Dust's position or reasoning.
6427001
...Wait, what?
I was under the impression this was a stand-alone story. Not part of a spin-off series. If so, there's a very important line missing from the story description.
And even if so, I've got even more problems with that conversation since Loopy just stood there and took it without offering any counter-arguments or even reactions.
Again, she's got at least partial memories of living in the dark forest for twenty-five years. Even with some hero worship there frankly should have been more of an reaction from Loopy than standing there and just soaking LD thinking Discord wasn't a monster up. A gasp and walking away. A punch. Fainting on the spot.
Any reaction.
I came here because I found the premise of the last pony cursed by Discord dealing with her changes in a world that now knows what's going on interesting. To read about Loopy's story
Right now, Loopy is a boring doormat and that's getting old. I mean, take her beloved plane. Why did somepony else have to convert it for her?
Wouldn't it have been a far more interesting character moment for her to wake up fully a pony, realize her most prized possession is useless junk since she has her own wings back, and then decide to keep using it anyway? Taking a lot of time and energy to convert that plane for pegasi use, despite how little sense it makes from the outside because to her it feels right?
Instead strangers just... give it to her. And she shrugs, smiles and accepts it. And then she moves on to be again told what to do by somepony else. No struggle. No character moment. No conflict. It was just this thing that happened to her.
Hell, even if she'd paid for that conversion, at least that would have made it her choice.
Frankly, if Loopy doesn't start actually, actively doing something soon I think I'm dropping this story. It's just not interesting seeing a blank sheath of canvas blowing around wherever the wind takes her.
6427115
Now that you mention it, yes, Sparky probably needs to add that to the description.
As for Loopy's reactions, it might be an effect of a shock. Different people take it in different ways, so hers could be as well "sense of wonder is knocked out completely for a week". Let her some time to recover, she might blow up later of all things she collected during her transition phase.
But things should pick up a pace from here, as far, as I know. After all, this is only the very beginning of her story.
6427291
You know, shock is actually a fair enough explanation. Good point.
Still, I hope you're right about. Again, I want to know more about this story and its main character. Not the 'X years later' aftermath of one I haven't even read.
6427310 Yes... Dust on the Wind is a prequel. And once I get to a computer, I'll try and post why Dust feels the way she does. As to Loopy, she is in shock, having some of her memories shaken loose by moon shadow, seeing her best friend then having to give her up. She's making do, but this...in the end...is Loopy's story. Dust and company are going to be a part of this story, but the star is Loopy. And what she's going to do is what I'm focusing on.
6427310
6427291
One of the biggest failings, in my opinion, of Twisted Spectrum's Five Score Divided by Four is very simple. Discord as evil, nothing more. It bothered me for two reasons, the first is, I like Discord, I think his character is strong, and interesting. The second, one thing I've tried to hold onto when I write, the bad guy never thinks he's bad. And that would certainly apply to Discord. The inspiration for Discord, in the show, is Q, from Star Trek: The Next Generation, that is why John DeLancie (who played Q) was tapped for Discord's voice. Q, like Discord, is chaotic, and an antagonist. But I wouldn't go far enough to call him a villain. He's not evil, and him portrayed as evil really bugged me. In early communications with Twisted Spectrum, I let him know that I planned on Dust on the Wind to be a redemption arc for Discord, to tell more of WHY he did it. I hinted as to it several times in the story, and finally said it all in the Epilogue of Dust on the Wind.
To set up the scene, Dust died, to protect her herd. This is what follows... And yes, there is a direct call back to the ST:TNG episode "Tapestry"
“Lightning Dust” A voice calls.
I roll over, what the hell happened? I open my eyes, all I see is white. Memory crashes into me, my eyes, they are working! Did Henry get to me before?
I look down at my body, it's back to normal, luxurious turquois fur, a pristine hoof. Am I dead? Am I alive? If I’m alive, where the hell am I? It doesn’t look like any hospital room I’ve ever seen. What happens after one dies? I'm puzzled by the fact that I feel pretty good. No real pain. I've got a body, it seems to be working. I look around, all I see is light. I get to my hooves and trot around, though my hoofsteps are completely silent.
"What's going on?" I murmur.
"Welcome to the afterlife, Lightning Dust, you’re dead."
I whirl around, I know that voice, "Discord."
He chuckles, I still can't see the draconequus. I whirl around again, "Where are you, are you behind that evil version of Twilight Sparkle?"
Again he chuckles. I spread my wings and take off, but where am I going, all I see is white.
"Nowhere to run to, Lightning Dust." Discord calls. Suddenly I'm motionless, I feel a floor beneath my feet, but again, everything is white.
"Come out where I can see you. We've kicked you ass before, I'll kick your ass all by myself." I spread my wings aggressively.
"Awww, what nasty things to say to your benefactor. I kept you from moving on, I kept you from becoming unreachable."
I sit on my haunches, "What happens after death?"
He chuckles once again, "That would be cheating, I'm already giving you a chance to cheat death, I'm not going to go any further." He appears in front of me in a flash of white light. He bends down to bring his face close, "You were the one pony to actually discern my true intent when it comes to that spell."
I narrow my eyes, "The five score spell?"
He nods, then he conjures a flash of light, and a chair appears, he sits down, offering me a cookie. I shrug and taste it. And almost gag, it doesn’t taste nearly how I expect it. Not like a chocolate chip cookie, but like waffles, complete with butter and syrup. I lick my lips, "Yum."
He smiles, "I am a spirit, I am truly eternal. Jumping through time is nothing to me."
"I don't understand."
You ponies, you think of time like it's a line, it's far more complex than that."
He offers me another cookie, this one tastes like broccoli, I chow down, I love broccoli.
"I've had to serve a long time under that spell, I was a horse, you see. Sent back to the distant past, and forced to live for eons as a humble equine. I had a good time. But you see, I am still myself."
"And?"
"Humanity lost their magic, oh I won't go into the details, but humans lost a lot in that time. And then I sent you ponies to this Earth. And then what happened?"
I think for a moment, "Then we awoke, our magic came out, and we brought out the magic in humanity."
He giggles, "Exactly, you get another cookie."
This one tastes like my spaghetti sauce, complete with noodles. "Wow, you got my recipe right."
He chuckles, "Humanity needs a push, they've gotten very far, farther than anyone could believe without their magic. But they have hit a hard wall, they need something, something to bring them to the next level, to let them see exactly what their potential can be."
I stand up, my wings spread in rage, "You killed, you hurt a lot of ponies, and you ruled Equestria for a quarter of a century. Chaos ruled."
His chuckle becomes a full on laugh, "Well, I got to have a little fun in the bargain. So sue me."
I growl at the draconequus, "You are an asshole."
He smiles at me, "Guilty as charged. But you forget one thing, Lightning Dust."
"And what is that?"
"You are here, not in the next life."
"So."
He taps the top of my head, avoiding my hoof as I try to bat him away, "I'm not done with you yet."
I sigh, "What are you going to do?"
"I know what you did to defeat the shadow of myself I left in this world, I know what I put you through."
I growl, "Where you killed Soarin."
He smiles, "Yes, though you'll be happy to know that he went out like a hero, even though it was a construct, he acted to save lives. I'll give him credit there. But he is beyond my reach at this point."
"Are you coming back?"
He smiles, "There can be only one spirit of chaos, I'm trapped in your world, so I have to talk to you like this."
I am getting angry at his antics, "What are you going to do, Discord? You just said you can't affect the world now, so what now?"
He turns and looks at me critically, "The necessary balance for both worlds was upset for far too long. Equestria was too harmonious, and this Earth was too chaotic. Neither was any fun. But I’ve fixed all of that. Now humanity and Equestria can grow, together."
I narrow my eyes, "You intend for there to be permanent relations between our worlds?"
He nods.
"Why?"
He walks around me, "Because humanity has been confined to their one little world, perhaps by understanding there is such a thing as a multiverse, other beings that can think, that can feel. They need to not be so insular. So, I'm forcing that."
He produces another cookie, it tastes like chalk. I spit it out and glare at him.
He shrugs his shoulders, "They can't all be yummy, Dust."
I sit down and think for a long time, then finally, "What now?"
"You go back."
I shake my head, "My body was destroyed, it's no use, Discord."
He chuckles, "I may be merely a spirit, not a god. But I possess powers you have no concept of, young pegasus. Now, Go!" He taps me on the forehead.
Discord is not evil, in my view, he is chaos, personified. Which makes him a seeker of balance, too much chaos is bad, too much order is bad. And Discord sought to fix that.
Just my $.02
6428978
Although I don't agree with it since Five Score Discord was clearly reveling in being top dog so much, I'll admit that's a fair enough alternative interpretation from my own.
What isn't fair is just assuming every reader will just somehow read your mind and know that this story is actually taking place after your earlier Five Score story and follow the differences in rules you established there without explanation in this story.
Again, please change the description so its clearer that this is a mostly stand-alone sequel. Right now it isn't, and a reader really shouldn't need to go down into the comments to understand something as big as this.
6430481 I will make the necessary adjustment to the description when I get a chance. Thank you.
Awesome chapter! I can't wait to see the next one, but the author note doesn't show up for me. What is it?
6428978 First I feel like I should point out that Discord's portrayal in Five Score was from an outside perspective. Not objective, of course, but still not interactive. The mane 6, Big Macintosh, and Shining Armor were biased against him from the beginning because he betrayed the 'fictional' characters twice. While it may be fair to say that TS didn't suspect Discord would have actually returned to his old ways in canon, he did make it explocit that Discord betrayed all of the ponies in his own story. I would argue that that's enough to make him at least a little evil. I will say in your favor that Discord is a strong character and would do things for a bigger reason than 'for the lulz', something I remember mentioning before, I also have to resign myself to the fact that Discord was evil in the mane 6's eyes. LoD has a point in saying that there needs to be a real explaination. And while that's no fault of your own, it's a small weakness in the essence of a sequel altogether.
I'll also admit I'm biased myself because the phrase "failings of the original Five Score" puts me off. It's only fair that I admit I'm a Five Score fanboy so the other commentors know I will be biased.
One more thing:
I WILL find a better way to phrase the balance thing. I agree with it to a point.
I would much rather say that neither exists without the other. Discord is more of an accessory of the balance himself; half of a whole. Not THE creature of balance, but a creature who lives under its rules.
6448345 its the Widgeon, but it shows upnfine for me. I'll adjust the link.
6448459 okay, awesome.
6448345 That's my fault. I've changed the name while posting it on DA from the sta.sh, and, apparently, it breaks the old links when you do that.
6430481
I'm with Dorkness here. I've had this story on my to-read list for a while, so long I'd forgotten what it was about. So I finally got around to starting it and was surprised and delighted it was a 5S/4. But then it was in this setting of years later and the worlds are united and everyone lives in peace and there's amazing advances in magic and tech such that we have a colony on Mars and humans have magic. I haven't read the story that precedes this, so I didn't have the context and it's all very overwhelmingly different. That's not necessarily bad, but it's just not what I was expecting. The original Five Score ends with ponies living a cautious secretive existence, keeping themselves unknown by humans on the whole for fear of human nature. Look at what happened over the course of the story. The world began to tear itself apart. The US almost went to war. To go from that tone to this shiny, happy Disney wonderland was kind of a shock.
An even bigger shock is this Discord revelation. I'm all for complex characters, but sometimes you just need a good, despicable villian who's easy to hate and fun to fight against. Discord had that. He was a bad guy just because it was his nature. I'm not a big fan of the Anakin Skywalker "bring balance to a world that's TOO good by completely burning it down and letting someone sweep up the ashes" thing. And it's so different from the original that I feel like rather than being a pure extension of that, this is as much an AU of Five Score as Dorkness's story is.
Throne, the feels...
It's a flight yoke not a wheel.
Thought chinese authority would have been subverted by ponies arose there after lightning dust left there haha.
Well it's Dust's fault for trying to wingmare a newbie, and where was Mischief? That fall would have been salvageable if they were at safe heights. Stupid plot contrivances...