When Rarity received a request to complete a very important job for a very important client, she didn't hesitate to accept. The request happened to come from Manehattan, and after some debate, Sweetie Belle convinced her older sister to take her along so she could see Babs Seed. The project would take a couple weeks, and the two promised to write home frequently to share their experiences with their friends.
But the letters never came, and after two months, the two returned with little to say about their trip. When they do speak, their stories are elusive and vague. Rumor has it that Princess Twilight has heard more, but she isn't talking, either. One thing is clear. There's something else going on — something hidden just between the lines.
NOTE: This story uses a mechanic to make two stories in one, and thus requires two separate reads. This mechanic is designed for full screens only. Phones and partial screens will not format correctly 95% of the time. If the formatting looks wrong, minimize the font until it works for you so you can enjoy it properly.
Full credit must be given to Piquo Pie for introducing me to this format. Check out Piquo's story here for more.
Sorry, not really impressed with the idea
Whoa....
Holy... wow... that was...
I feel kind of silly; I kept messing with the actual sizes of the fonts, and not changing the lighting...
Really cool story, though. It has my upvote.
I like it, took me a second to work it out but I enjoyed it.
Hfmm
So tats how
.good
.very good
.I wonder to whom this letter of a story was written to
.twilligt army to the rescue!
Hard to write wight on a tablet
6267975
That's OK. Thanks for giving it a read!
6267982
6268099
Glad you enjoyed it!
EQUESTRIA DAILY NEWS - - - A block of flats in Manehatten reduced to rubble and raging fires, Cause under investigation possible utility issues.
this comment will confuse everyone wont it....
second story 110%
6268372
Confusion makes everything more fun!
6268529 It sure does
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6268372
that's part of my problem with it. Rarity has powerful friends, who are easily worried.
6269060 They would nuke the hood.
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Just the CMC alone would cause damage looking for Sweetie Bell
6269187 exactly
A different take with the mechanic but quite enjoyable.
The one real suggestion I have is that you might suggest at the top that people adjust their text size/zoom to fit the specific format. I forgot to do that at first myself and was like 'wow, I expected better from Scribble... I'm an idiot."
6269060
Which clearly means that said friends were unable to *find* Rarity. Perhaps she was temporarily replaced by a changeling?
6269219
It's a fair point. Princes Twilight might literally move heaven and earth to help a friend in need. I could probably fix this by paying a little more attention to detail, but right now I'm asking my readers to come up with their own explanation, which isn't a sign of good writing.
Again, thanks for your feedback.
6270404 I decided to put that in the story description. Do you think at the top of the chapter is better? I guess it is more likely people would read it there.
6270767
nope, she wasn't kidnapped in the traditional sense. Look at the description. She traveled to do a job, promised to write and was never able to. Considering how Pinkie Pie reacted to a week of no letters from Dash, how would she react to two months of no letters from Rarity and Sweetie Belle?
i always have the site set to the dark theme.
read the story as it was meant to.
did not realize most of it was supposed to be hidden.
not a bad read this feels more like a chapter taken randomly from a bigger story but that's ok
It's an interesting idea, but this feels more like a "proof of concept" - like this is too much about the mechanic for its own sake and it's not really a strong enough story on its own.
Was this not meant to be read on an iPad?
....good try, and this is a difficult format, but there are too many places in both reads where the story is very rough or simply doesn't make sense. It's ok as an experiment and I'd be willing to read a story like this again. But on its own, it doesn't stand up very well.
6271264 That's really what it was. The story isn't that strong, and definitely not one I'm proud of. But thanks for the read.
6271736 Probably not. As I wrote in the description, this is meant to be read on a full screen, since smaller screens can't format it right. Sorry for the confusion.
6271799 Thanks for the read. It was mostly an experiment with the format, which comes with a lot of drawbacks, so I'm not sure I'd ever use it again.
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Absolutely love the story. I read through it the first time, then finished it. I was confused. So, I highlighted the whole page, and read it again.
Just... wow.
6284454 Thanks! It was an interesting experiment.
6275712
I read it on the computer now, and I saw the words in between the lines. It's pretty cool, but I'm thinking you should make a prologue to tell about what happened leading up to this story. I kind of got lost.
Interesting idea. But I have to say I found a mistake.
6407387 Oh? What's that?
6407653
*we're (It's a contraction.) Besides
"Sweetie's jerked her head away when she prodded a cut, but Rarity knew well enough those whip marks."
Sure that's right?
Yeah, I saw that were/we're issue, too. But this is great. :D I love it when authors experiment, and those experiments are even better when they work!
6843592 Thanks!
So, um, dragon costume...
I am compelled to ask how that was supposed to work.
6900075 Because vague villain plan reasons, I guess.
6901336 Huh.
well, then..
As a frequent green-on-black user, I had to turn off my favorite setting to read it the first time, ignoring the white was giving me a headache..
other than that, great story! I loved the way you told it!
7112219 Sorry for the headache, but I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Clever, but the note, title, and Rarity's comment at the end made it screamingly obvious what the literary mechanic was. Of course, if you didn't include at least one of those, there'd probably be more downvotes. Reminds me of a Lovecraftian horror story here that did something similar, but there was only slight clues in it on how to read it.