Twilight and Shining were quicker to leave the prison building than they were to enter. They passed by each of the waiting investigators, completely ignoring the one they had spoken to earlier, and pushed past the front doors into the sunlight outside. Once they were clear, Twilight took a moment to rub at her natural legs. She still felt cold from the intensity of her meeting. Even rubbing to get warm wasn't doing much to make her feel better, although she could easily blame that on her prosthetic. What an appropriate name to have. Winter Frost. I hope she never gets released.
She and Shining Armor walked slowly across the parade grounds back toward the palace. Twilight had meant to stay quiet the whole way, but her brother had other plans. "That could have gone better. Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm well enough."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I'm well enough."
Behind her, Shining Armor shook his head. She only knew because she heard his helmet shifting against the rest of his body. "Come on, Twilight. Give me a real answer."
"What's wrong with my answer?"
"You're just dismissing me. You're obviously not in the mood, but I need to know how you're doing. I'm pretty sure that's the first credible threat you've ever gotten."
Twilight tried to laugh. What came out was a half-serious chuckle. "Credible? You can't mean that."
"I do. That pony is a killer. And she's trained in alchemy, just like you. She's been around for long enough to know her own skills, and I would take her threat seriously if I were you."
They reached the door leading into the palace hallway. With a quick nod to a nearby royal guard, they passed through and walked around the custodial staff who were cleaning the remains of the attack. Twilight made a quick note of how efficient the ponies here were since she saw very few shell cases and few-and-far-between wall damage.
"Take it seriously? From her? Please, any alchemist who thinks it's a good idea to break into the royal palace and start randomly drawing circles is no true alchemist. Remember, this is one of the ponies who thought that making a giant fog bank was stealthy. All that accomplished was alerting the entire city."
Her brother wasn't convinced. "What I remember is that she wasn't leading the team. Whiteout was the one who led their plan. Winter Frost and her partner were just the soldiers in the field. Now, you're right, the fog bank was a dumb idea, but the fact that the two of them managed to break in at all tells me that we'd do well to not underestimate them." He gently tapped her on her shoulder to help make his point. "You should remember that it's this same alchemist who placed those circles in impossible spaces."
And just like that, Twilight's headache graduated from a piercing heat to a heavy throb. She honestly didn't know which was worse. "She used a matrix. That's all," she said through clenched teeth.
"I don't know, Twilight."
Twilight stopped and rounded on her brother. "Well, what's your theory, then? How do you think that mare managed to set transmutation circles inside pipes? Or making them from a distance at all?" She pointed to a wall that suffered a sizeable burn, evidence of the attack from that morning. "According to everypony, she was able to create a circle in one area while she was standing in another! A teleport matrix would make that possible. That and the pipes! And along with the residue you found in the city, a matrix is the most likely thing."
She breathed through her teeth while Shining Armor stood still. Twilight knew she should have felt bad for snapping, but the feeling never came. If anything, all she felt was a brief moment of adrenaline. It was good to be in control for a few seconds, even if it was just control over the conversation. Maybe if she kept it up, she could get back to bed sooner.
"I don't have a theory," Shining Armor eventually answered. "What I do have are enough reasons to take those criminals seriously when they threaten my sister."
"It's an empty threat."
"How are you so sure?"
"Because they're in prison cells surrounded by trained guards. Oh, and the cells are just past an open space where more guards are being trained. What else...oh, yes, the fact that their plan of attack was stupid and desperate! I'm telling you, if that's the best they can come up with, then the only real threat is their bad attitude."
"Well, if that's all it takes, then I should feel pretty threatened right about now, huh?"
Twilight scoffed and stormed further in the hall. Shining Armor easily matched her pace. His very presence was grating on her already-frayed nerves, to say nothing of her various other reasons to be grumpy. It was bad enough with everything she had to deal with since that morning; why did he insist on challenging her viewpoint so much? It wasn't like him to be so critical.
So she asked him. "What's with you all of a sudden?"
"I told you," he answered. "I take threats to my sister very seriously."
"Then maybe you should focus these questions on the ones who did the threatening."
"Trust me, I intend to. But I still want to make sure you're okay."
"There's nothing in the world that those ponies can possibly do to me."
"Stop dodging my question."
She could feel his gaze on the back of her head. It actually made her itch. "I told you, I'm well enough."
"Oh, for goodness sake. Is that really all I'm going to get from you?"
"I'm sorry if it's not the cry for help you're expecting, Shining Armor. If you really want a chance to be a hero, then maybe you should hope that the threat is real."
For the first time, Shining Armor stopped on his own. "That's not funny, Twilight."
Twilight kept going. She walked for a good thirty seconds before she looked over her shoulder and saw that he wasn't there. A small victory. She smiled a little and pressed on to the colonel's office.
What she saw when she arrived surprised her. The office was locked. That's a first, she thought. Not wanting to lose her good streak, she sparked her magic and tried to unlock it from her side. All she got for her efforts was a clicking sound as the tumblers inside slid back and forth. She pulled back her magic and pressed her head against the door. Instantly, she felt sleep start to creep in on her.
Lucky for her that the door unlocked and opened at that moment. "Oh, miss Sparkle," said Flash Sentry. "Good afternoon."
Twilight shook herself and looked up. Flash's appearance surprised her too: rather than the clean-cut style he usually kept, he seemed disheveled and almost as tired as her. He held a thick stack of papers with one hoof. His uniform, the standard blue of the military with his own ribbons and insignia, was more wrinkled than she had ever seen it. In fact, she spotted a few stray blotches of ink along his front.
"Mm, hello," she managed through her haze of sleepiness. "I'm here to check in with the colonel."
"Colonel Dash is quite busy for the day, miss. We both are," he added, nudging his stack of paperwork.
"Why? What's going on?"
"Nothing you need concern yourself with. It's just paperwork. We actually were not expecting you to come by today."
"I had a test."
The colonel's voice rang out from inside the room. "Who is it, Lieutenant?"
"Twilight Sparkle, ma'am," he called back. "She's checking in with us, asking about her test."
"Does she really expect to still take a test after what happened this morning?"
Flash Sentry paused a moment to look Twilight up and down. "It might be that she'll sleep through it."
Twilight bristled. "Hey!"
"Send her away, Lieutenant. We can't afford any distractions."
Flash smirked with a joke only he seemed to get, but nodded nonetheless. "Sorry, miss. Between the attack, processing the attackers, and all of this follow-up work, we'll need to reschedule your test for another day. Head back to your room and rest."
Oh no, you don't, Twilight thought. I didn't study for three nights straight just to be given a day off. She shook her head and tried to push past Flash Sentry, but was stopped when he extended his wing. "Let me in."
"No."
She took that as a challenge. Adopting a hard glare, she stepped back and sparked her horn. With a quick swipe of her foreleg against the door frame, she envisioned another opening further along the wall. Sparks flew into the hall, a space in the wall bulged and deformed, and then a simple wooden door appeared. Flash's eyes darted from her to the wall, and she saw that he tensed but otherwise didn't move.
With a smirk of her own, Twilight took a couple steps to the new door she had made and pulled it open. A giant metal panel stood in her way. "What in the world?"
"Miss Sparkle, remember the layout of the office," Flash said. "You just opened a way to our supply lockers."
Growling, Twilight sparked her horn to life again.
"If you ruin my equipment, you'll make this personal," he warned. "Just go back to your room."
She ignored him. Instead, she pictured what she wanted. It wouldn't be right to completely wreck his supplies, so she wouldn't use all of the material inside the locker. Still, he shouldn't have stopped her, so maybe he deserved to have a little setback. Maybe instead of a simple door, she should make an elaborate metal gate, complete with a key that she would keep for herself. In fact, the key could be made out of that rifle he liked so much. With another smirk, she reached out to the metal panel of the locker.
Another wing stopped her, coming between her hoof and the metal. Rather than Flash's light orange, this one was a pale blue. Twilight paused to look at it. It wasn't until the wing gently came forward and pushed her hoof back down that she turned to look at the owner.
If Flash Sentry was disheveled, Rainbow Dash was simply a mess. Frown lines fell across her face and threw it into harsh shadows, her mane was standing up in some spots, bags were forming under her eyes, and her own uniform wasn't spotted with stray ink stains so much as decorated with them. Even the tips of her wings were frayed.
"What exactly are you planning to do, Sparkle?" the colonel asked in a low, oddly calm voice.
Twilight stood up straight and met her gaze. Grumpiness met grumpiness, or so she thought. "I'm here to get this test out of the way so it will be off my mind."
"So you do expect to take it even after all that happened."
"I'd better. This is the best time for it. If I wait another day, I'll likely be more focused on that pony Winter Frost than I will be on alchemy."
"Good," Rainbow Dash said. She brought her wing down, stretched it, and let it settle against her side. "We could use more insight into her state of mind. What was your impression of her?"
That took Twilight by surprise. "What? What does she matter? I'm not here because of her."
"You are now. Since you're so eager to take a test, I'm giving you one. What's your impression of Winter Frost?"
"I don't see what the point of this is."
"Then let me explain. Winter Frost infiltrated the palace early this morning and placed several transmutation circles in various spots along this wing of the building. They were designed for freezing alchemy, but they were spread out in a way that makes it unclear what their endgame was. Since Frost and her partner Frigid Drift were here in the palace, it stands to reason that they would know what that endgame is."
Twilight closed her eyes and tried to force down her headache. "Sure," she muttered.
"Good to hear that you agree. Now, the question of their motive is still unanswered, and since you went to visit with them, I can only assume that you have some intelligence on them that we weren't able to get. So here's your new test, Sparkle: give me some information on them. Anything useful."
The last thing she wanted to do was replay her encounter with them, but the colonel's tone didn't exactly leave room for argument. "I don't...have anything on them," she admitted. "If you wanted to know their motive, it would have been better to keep their leader alive."
Rainbow Dash tilted her head in consideration, then backed off a step. "That's true enough, but it's not what we have now. There's no use dwelling on what might've been, don't you agree?"
Twilight once again sensed the trap too late. "Yes, of course...wait—"
"Then take the lieutenant's advice. There's no point dwelling on a test with all that's happened now, especially since right now I'm in no position to give you one. I have enough to fix without you tearing into my office and ruining our equipment, and I will not tolerate any more insubordination."
"I just wanted—"
"You're dismissed, Twilight Sparkle. I'll send for you when I need you."
Twilight groaned, had a brief staring contest that she quickly lost, then turned away. A rebellious part of her mind urged her to knock over the supply locker with her magic, but she thought better of it. She walked down the hall, passing Flash Sentry on the way, who gave her an empathetic look. Even that look served to annoy her.
Her quarters were only a couple minutes away from the colonel's office, on the other side of the same wing of the building. It was really more of a large, private study than a bedroom: one entire wall was dedicated to bookshelves, while the others were covered with maps, schedules, and certifications she had earned. A single bed awaited her from the corner, while a desk and couch set in the middle of the room held a pile of clutter regarding her rescheduled test. There was a second desk across from the first, one that Shining Armor used, and it was appropriately neat and tidy. She shared the room with her brother, though he wasn't there. Rather than focus on where he was and what he might be doing, she threw her door closed and shed her custom duster.
A mirror next to the door helped her see herself. She had never been one for wearing clothes, but the state of her body made them necessary. Her right foreleg was made from a special composite that ran on her natural motor functions. Her left hindleg was the same, and both worked almost seamlessly with the rest of her body. She didn't claim to understand the science behind it, but she knew enough just by relying on them to get around.
It was called automail. An engineering marvel that created hyper-responsive prosthetic limbs. It saw extensive use during and after the Unification War, for those unlucky survivors who could afford it. Twilight hadn't heard of such a thing until she needed it, and she had never learned who had paid for them...or how she even came to own a pair. Doctors and engineers would always tell her things about them: specifications, proper care, things to listen for, and the like. All she really knew about them was that they helped her get around, because without them she'd be a cripple.
Technically she still was. If the prosthetics were removed, she would find nothing beneath. Just a length of metal that connected the spots where she ended and the machinery began. Twilight idly ran her left hoof, her natural hoof, over her right foreleg, feeling the material as she had done hundreds of times. Just like her other unanswered mysteries, she had never known who had said the limbs had to be painted black. It was such an odd choice, and clashed with her natural violet coat anyway.
But what very few ponies knew was that there was a different reason, besides her prosthetic limbs, why she wore such a large jacket. Twilight set her hoof down and turned sideways, looking at a spot along her back. Set behind her withers and near her spine were two abnormal growths, like swollen pockets beneath her skin. They constantly ached and flushed an alarming red, so the sight of them alone would disturb the typical Canterlot pony.
She had even less information on the swollen spots than she did on her limbs. Even palace doctors could only recommend further study. As far as she knew, they could just be severe allergic reactions to something in the air. But they had appeared the same day she had lost her limbs, and were as permanent as the rest of her. Whatever they were, they always hurt. She needed to train herself to sleep on her stomach and sides just to avoid putting pressure on them.
Today, as always, she stared at her scars and deformities, wondering where she had gone so wrong. Her mistake took place over six years ago, back when she was only eleven years old. But over the years since, she never got any closer to an answer. What happened? she would ask herself. What did I do?
It was a question she asked every night. Sometimes, she wished she could still hear that tiny voice that answered her from that day. But the voice was silent, and her room was silent, and her train of thought was doing her no favors today. Defeated, she fell on top of her bed without bothering to get beneath the covers and was asleep within minutes.
Do you need to know what Full Metal Alchemist and Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood is about to understand the story?
8385415
Yes, but you won't need to know much more than what's available on, say, Wikipedia. Many of the recurring themes in FMA are adapted for use in this project, so even if you don't know those themes they'll be used here in a way that makes sense for the story.
The two big things to know are these:
-There's a branch of science called alchemy, that makes it possible to re-shape matter into nearly anything the user imagines. It has specific limits, and is adapted in this story to be an extension of magic.
-There's a type of specialized machinery called automail , which serves as a high-end prostethic. It can replace lost limbs, and is connected to the body's nerves to allow for natural movement.
8385472 Thanks. I'll add it my Read Later list so I have something to read at work.
Twilight grinned wickedly, "They won't be able to carry it out when he's finished interrogating them..."
Inside the prison, a slate gray pony with a wild white mane and garishly wide green eyes covered with almost absurdly large goggles slide slowly into sight of the two prisoners. "Let's play a little game," he croaked with an eerie lopsided grin.
They cracked in 10 seconds flat.
Twilight almost ascended due to forbidden alchemy, eh?
This of course speaks volumes as to the nature of the Princesses in this story.
This chapter... is bringing some mixed feelings for me, I know this is an AU story - specifically inspired by both by a certain animation and an anime - however this version of Twilight is very OOC. Its reminding me a tad too much on Edward, and while Twilight is suppose to play Edward's role, she's not suppose to play Edward's role.
Now to clarify, physically and experience wise, she shares that similarity with Edward and it fits her perfectly... but her personality doesn't suit a character like her. The only way it would suit her is you completely rework Twilight from the ground up - either making a "true" AU Twilight or a new character - I mean because she's the younger siblings, I understand she was be traumatized from the experience but still holding her old habits and persona - her curious nature, research, study, and learn new things, and to be naive about a few things - which is somewhat similar to Alphonse - the curious and naive parts.
This aggressive and cold Twilight just doesn't fit unless she's written in a way to make it less... awkward and forced. Shining Armor's have little problem but there are also some problems with him too.
Just like Twilight, he feels OOC too, his need to protect his sister - whether necessary or not - fits him, but he's the one who was made to share some similarities with Alphonse. I think what made it hard to make this story was the problem that the roles of Twilight and Shining, are the reverse of Edward and Alphonse.
The two siblings - the younger, kind, peaceful, gentle sibling, and the older, cocky, aggressive, yet clever sibling - is problematic because of age and upbringing. If it were possible, I think there is a way to rewrite the story itself... if I'm honest - and I don't mean to insult or put myself in a higher standard - the moment I saw this story became cancelled... I was upset as I thought it to be a wonderful idea.
At the time this idea never came to me because I was working on other stories, but after rereading where I last left off in this story... I'm having my own ideas for this story - my own version with similar ideas to this and the anime.
I am not sure I will write it, and if I do or not... I might share the idea to somebody else who's interesting in writing it.
To my original point, it'll be hard to write characters like Twilight and Shining and use inspirations from Edward and Alphonse for them. I mean keep the their physical states and experiences still, but I believe their personalities, how they act after the incident need some reworking to make the characters feel less awkward in my opinion.
I hope this story gets a comeback or at the very least somebody makes a story with similar ideas to it... I might, but I got my plate full... though the idea is there.
This was - maybe - an attempt at a review on the story, hope your future projects work out better for you.
10164920
You hit a few good points there. In this story, Twilight was indeed rebuilt from the ground up, using her behavior in MLP's very first episode as a starting point. In that episode, she was praise-driven and didn't care for anyone else's feelings, but she also didn't realize it. I took that and magnified it by making her the focus of the alchemy accident - the 'rebound' - that took her limbs and her brother's body. I wanted to make her more cynical as a result, which would make for a harder case to crack once she started to see the value in friends (Applejack, for example, who had a brief appearance in 4.1).
Shining Armor was actually somewhat easier to write for. I tried to bring his philosophy and his attitude to the front of his mind, making him a little more one-note than any other character I've tried, but that was the point I wanted to make. His worldview was inherently flawed and I wanted him to be comfortable in that until it no longer became possible for him to maintain it. It would have eventually been a plot thread where he gives of himself too much at the expense of his own happiness, and he would reach a point where he decides enough is enough.
However, all of this limited my options when writing for him. I wanted to keep him young, inexperienced, but full of dreams...and yet force several tragedies on him that made those dreams impossible to reach. I wanted that, but I kept trying to use him to build up one part of the world, so he kept focusing on things around him rather than himself. I didn't realize my mistake until after I cancelled the project, and to this day I'm not sure how I would redress it.
Thank you. I'm struggling to work on anything thanks to the pandemic and everything it's caused, but I have begun the first draft to my own original novel. I hope to apply the lessons I've learned from Fullmetal Pony and make something that's not necessarily flawless, but something that matters.