Home is Where Your Curse is

by SFaccountant

Misdirection

Home is Where Your Curse is

a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction

by SFaccountant

Chapter 7

Misdirection

---

Princess Luna stared up at the moon, a small smile on her lips and a deep, cool breeze running through her fur. A light blue glow covered her as she basked in the night; an ambient effect from the moonlight, and totally independent from her normal magic. Her wings were spread as if in preparation for flight, held gently against the breeze such that the resistance barely stirred her feathers.

A rare sight even within Canterlot, where Luna lived, it was a truly exceptional sight to behold in a place like Ponyville, even when taking into consideration that it received a great deal of visits from the royal house. It was a vision of supreme beauty and majesty, of subtle power and quiet emotion.

And it was only slightly diminished by the fact that Luna was posing atop the Apples' farmstead, right next to a creaky weathervane.

"Your Highness." The sound of leathery wings beating the air came from behind her, and Luna tilted her head slightly to watch as a batpony mare in Lunar Guard armor landed and dipped her head.

"Shade Stalker. Report," Luna commanded, turning away from her servant.

"The target has not been located. But we have a trail," Shade Stalker murmured, keeping her head down, "the target was seen in Hoofington two nights ago, but fled the town heading West. Our best guess is that he is heading to Saddlebrook. Or he is already there."

Luna nodded silently, and her horn lit up. Glimmering motes of light floated in front of her, drawing glowing lines in the air to approximate a map of the countryside.

"The target fled after assaulting the town's Mayor, and is a prime suspect in the destruction of the town inn," Shade hissed, scowling.

"Uh-huh," Luna mumbled inattentively, focusing on her map. The distance between Hoofington and Saddlebrook wasn't very great; perhaps a few days' travel. She started working out the calculations in her head to determine the best spot to start searching.

"As you requested, our investigations were carried out with the utmost secrecy. He has no idea that he's being trailed. Once we catch up with him, we'll gather our forces and launch an ambush in the dead of night. He'll be captured soon."

Luna managed to catch the word "ambush", and her ears twitched up before she turned toward the soldier. "Pardon? I do not recall giving any order that Saotome is to be captured."

Shade Stalker raised her head, looking perplexed. "Wh-What? Then... we're going to just... leave him? Why are we tracking him, then? What are we looking for?"

Luna had to stop to consider how to answer. Honestly, all she wanted from the Lunar Guard was Saotome's location, and certainly didn't want her soldiers bothering him. But it only now occurred to her that such an arrangement seemed rather suspect.

Shade Stalker chewed her lip anxiously, wondering if she had made a mistake. Was it possible they weren't pursuing a suspected rebel or dangerous criminal? But why else would Luna have her soldiers searching for this pony? "Majesty? Did this stallion have something to do with that attack upon you the other night?"

"Y-Yes, but..." Luna stammered, her mind racing. She was still trying to keep her imminent travels a secret, even from her Lunar Guard. She hadn't considered that suspending the night court for an indeterminate period of time right after her agents had found Ranma might raise suspicion. More than that, she didn't really want to admit to anypony that she was using military resources in order to court a stallion. Especially if Celestia found out. She STILL got an occasional lecture from that one time she'd dispatched a squad of mages to entertain at Pipsqueak's birthday party.

"Never mind why!" Luna said after clearing her throat. "You have your orders, don't you? Is that not enough?"

Shade Stalker bowed her head again. "Y-Yes! You're right, of course! Whatever you wish!"

Luna nodded her head. "Indeed. You may also call off any further pursuit of the target. Now that I have a bearing, no further investigation is needed."

"Uh huh..." Shade mumbled, eyebrows arched. "So... just to make sure our orders are COMPLETELY clear: we were to locate the stallion Saotome Ranma, and then do nothing at all with that information or continue to follow him? Implicitly rendering any information about his current location ultimately useless?"

"That's correct," Luna said. "Thank you for your assistance. You are dismissed, Shade Stalker."

As the batpony jumped off the roof and flew away into the night, Luna sighed in relief.

That was close. I thought she was on to me for a moment. I don't want Tia to know that I'm using the Lunar Guard for something like this. Or that I'm wandering around outside Canterlot without security. Or that I'm going to start dating again. That mare is absolutely intolerable when she gets hold of a good piece of gossip.

Luna shuddered, and then sat down to wait for Twilight.

Shade Stalker flew away toward her squad waiting in the depths of the apple orchard, absorbed in her own thoughts.

Well, now I'm certain of it: Princess Luna is trying to hunt down the rebel on her own. The only reason for her to make this kind of request of the Lunar Guard on top of the normal bounty is if she was personally interested in having him found before the bounty hunters and regional guards. I am surprised that she's so dedicated to her revenge that she's going after him alone, though. Being attacked like that must have wounded her pride deeply. This also explains all those preparations she's been making for the night court "just in case" she's predisposed for an extended period of time.

Shade Stalker suddenly screeched, and the high-pitched shriek illuminated the world around her to her mind. Every branch and leaf was perfectly rendered where the moonlight couldn't reach, and in the shadows at the base of the trees half a dozen other ponies waited for her.

"All right ponies, we have a situation," Shade snapped before landing on a thick branch, "Princess Luna has ordered the investigation into Saotome Ranma to cease immediately. The Lunar Guard is not authorized to follow, harm, or arrest him."

A few confused grumbles came from the thestrals below, but Shade quickly silenced them by clearing her throat. "ALSO, I have discerned that Princess Luna is preparing to embark on a journey through the Equestrian heartland in secret. Three guesses as to what she's going after. The first two don't count."

"On her own? After this scumbag already attacked her once?" growled a stallion, hoofing at the ground.

"We don't know that," snapped another one.

"That's what the bounty posters say!"

A batpony mare shook her head. "It doesn't make any sense, though. We've all been briefed on this 'Blood Rite' pony and his lackey attacking Princess Luna, so why would they be coy about a third accomplice? If it weren't for the bounty posters plastered all over downtown, I wouldn't even know this Saotome guy was involved at all."

"You're just saying that because you think he's cute."

"Hey!" Shade Stalker shouted, silencing the others. "That's enough! We have a mission to get to!"

The Lunar Guards blinked in surprise.

"We do?"

"I thought our mission just ended. Rather explicitly, at that."

Shade shook her head. "Our mission to locate and pursue Saotome Ranma is over, yes. But we have another duty that supercedes all others: the protection of Princess Luna. You don't think we're seriously going to let her wander the countryside alone in search of a pony who may be a threat to her, do you?"

"Uh... well... yes?" mumbled one of them uncertainly. "I mean, she obviously doesn't want us there, or she would have asked for an escort, right? Or at least, you know, told us about it?"

"And you're fine with that?" Shade asked sharply, glaring down at the hesitant thestral. "She was almost hurt - perhaps almost killed! - once already because she was allowed to wander about the countryside without enough protection. Are you going to risk letting the same thing happen again?!"

"Won't she just send us away, though?" asked another guard.

"Yes! Which is why we have to trail and protect her in secret!" Shade Stalker declared.

"How are we supposed to do that? Princess Luna can just teleport to wherever she wants to go," pointed out another soldier, "she can lose us at any time, and there probably won't be a trail for us to follow."

"True, we may not be able to follow her," Shade admitted, "but we have a critical edge: we know what her target is. If we find and track this Saotome chump, then the Princess will catch up to us!"

"The same Saotome chump that we were just ordered to STOP tracking?"

"The same!" barked Shade Stalker. "We're going against our orders in order to fulfill our duty! Obviously, it's as important as ever that you don't get caught! You are the best at what you do, ponies, and now it's crunch time! You have to put your skill at stealth up against the Princess of the Night! Are you ready?!"

The Lunar Guards weren't given to enthusiastic shouting in general, so rather than a rousing cheer the batponies shifted and bowed their heads and touched their wings to the ground. It was an ancient gesture of submission and devotion, and indicated that they would each lay down their lives for the cause at hand. Only one Lunar Guard relented, scratching at his chin with a hoof.

"Don't you think that rather than compounding her irresponsible, clandestine behavior with insubordinate, clandestine behavior, we should take this information to Princess Celestia, who has both the authority and legitimacy to address the matter directly and easily prevent either a disastrous or embarrassing incident?" he asked.

The other thestrals turned to stare at the dissenter.

"... No," Shade Stalker replied flatly.

"Fair enough. Let's work out the shifts, then."

---

Luna continued waiting patiently upon the Apples' rooftop, her thoughts swimming with plans for tracking down her quarry. She and Twilight would almost certainly need to search a town at some point and question the residents, which could easily cause a stir and definitely compromise the secrecy of their mission. She'd need to prepare magical glamours to disguise themselves, in addition to any defenses against potential ambushes.

She also had little idea how long her journey would take, so she had made arrangements to create the illusion she was still in Canterlot but generally inaccessible. That hadn't been much of a challenge; with the current climate regarding royal security, and her more secluded duties as Princess of the Night, it was easy to arrange a schedule that included plenty of excuses not to be seen. Given that her most important duty, raising the moon upon the dusk, could be done anywhere, it wasn't as if she'd be missing anything important.

"Princess Luna! I'm here!" Twilight shouted as she alighted upon the roof behind the larger alicorn. Spike was settle on her back, on top of a pair of hefty saddlebags. The dragon looked like he was fighting to stay awake, too, with his eyelids slipping closed every few seconds before snapping open again.

"Aye! Well met, Twilight Sparkle!" Luna said happily, almost giddy now that their quest was to begin. "I have a bearing for our quarry. He heads West, past Hoofington in the northern regions. Behold!"

Luna again summoned the map of glimmering starlight, and Twilight had to push down her initial awe at such a casually beautiful display of magic to focus on the information it was trying to convey. A single spot of white light glowed over the town Luna had named, and then spread Westward before dimming into nothing.

"Huh. Then that's... wow. That's pretty far away from Ponyville."

Spike started to tilt over to one side, and Twilight absently raised a wing to push him back upright.

"What's the town here?"

"That is Saddlebrook. A moment." Luna's horn flashed again, and then a small booklet popped into existence near her head. Her telekinesis caught the booklet, and then started flipping the pages for her.

"Let's see... Saddlebrook is a trading hub for many of the surrounding nations and tribes that have treaties with Equestria. Although thriving, it has difficulty maintaining a large enough force of guards to keep the peace since many of the malcontents are members of larger and more dangerous species than ponies. Interesting." Luna frowned. "I wonder why Saotome has happened upon such a place."

"When I spoke to him he was still searching for the unicorns. And this was before they'd made their move against you," Twilight pointed out. She paused to again keep Spike from sliding off with her wings. "He might have a lead on them that we don't know about."

"Indeed. We shall depart at once!" Luna's horn start sparking as she prepared the mental calculations for a long-range teleport.

"Uhm... Princess?"

Luna's horn dimmed at Twilight's interruption. "Hmm?"

"Just checking, but... our primary method of investigating Saotome's location would be interviewing other ponies, right? We're not going to just be searching public records or using magic, since we wouldn't have to physically chase after him like this." Twilight again shifted to keep Spike from sliding off her back.

"Indeed. You needn't worry, I will prepare magic disguises for the effort," Luna assured her, "we can maintain secrecy while pursuing him."

"Okay, great. But... you DO realize that almost all ponies are going to be asleep if we restrict our search to nighttime hours, right?"

Luna didn't reply, staring down at the smaller alicorn with an unreadable expression. Then she looked up into the sky, as if realizing at just that moment that it was night. Finally, she frowned at Spike, who was now snoring openly as he lay on Twilight's back.

"Ponyfeathers," Luna grumbled, "I had not anticipated this complication."

Twilight pushed down an exasperated sigh. It figured that Luna would thoughtfully plan out the more elaborate, complicated steps of her adventure but forget something as basic as most ponies sleeping at night. "With that in mind, perhaps it would be wise for us to rest up as well, and start the search tomorrow morning?"

Luna frowned at the thought. She didn't really want to delay their search for four or five hours, much less commit to doing it during the day, when she usually slept. But on the other hoof, that was a much lesser difficulty than trying to search for her savior after dark.

"Tch! If only he had ventured into the thestral territories!" Luna clicked her tongue. "Very well, we shall delay our mission until after I have lowered the moon."

"Good! As you can see, Spike didn't really adjust well to staying up this late." Twilight began the calculations in her head to teleport back to her temporary bedroom, but then hesitated as she looked up at the Princess of the Night. "Uh... did you need a place to stay for the night, by the way? There's enough space in the Apples' guest room for a third."

Luna shook her head. "My apologies, but I must decline. I will spend the evening dream-walking and further planning our travels. It is all the more crucial now that they must be further delayed."

"Oh. Well..." Twilight again paused and shifted so that Spike didn't fall off her back. "I really think that the time would be better spent getting some rest, but okay. Your call. Good night, Princess."

Twilight and Spike vanished into a burst of purple light, leaving Luna once more alone in the late evening chill.

With a final, slightly rueful glance at the stars, Luna leapt from the top of the Apple farmstead and landed lightly on the ground. Then she trotted into the family's barn, sliding the door open with magic and sealing it with a spell to seal it behind her. Finding a comfortable spot on the floor, Luna lowered herself in the middle of the barn before her horn flared brightly with power. Arcane symbols spilled across the floor around her, blowing away dust and loose hay. As her magic continued to coalesce and surround her, Luna closed her eyes and let herself drift away into the world of dreams.

Naturally, Luna had already tried to find Ranma Saotome's dreams before in the hope of gaining further insight into the stallion's character and making contact with him. Unfortunately, even after learning the pony warrior's name, finding his dreams had proven inexplicably hard.

Granted, the method of sifting through millions of dreaming ponies was necessarily arcane and rather imprecise, but she'd had long practice in it. With his name and the memory of their meeting, she should have been able to home in on Ranma Saotome's mind with ease, but instead she kept finding herself dropping into some sort of bizarre science-fiction fantasy world full of strange, furless, bipedal creatures shouting at each other in some kind of alien gibberish. It was probably the dreams of some fiction writer or comic book artist.

It was her policy not to extensively observe or interfere with ponies' dreams unless she thought her intervention was needed, so she didn't try to figure out who she kept mistaking for her savior stallion. It probably wouldn't have helped, anyway. Ultimately, she would have to search for Ranma in the realm of flesh and blood, and that was fine.

But Twilight's comment about Ranma's search had reminded Luna that there was another stallion to whom she owed a visit.

---

Princess Luna hadn't really expected to find Rite's dream, or enter it without resistance. When both those things happened, she was extremely suspicious, and honestly considered turning back out of fear of some kind of trap.

The thought of retreat lasted all of two seconds before Luna chided herself for her cowardice and surged into Rite's slumbering thoughts. She was the Princess of the Night, and dreams were her domain! No mere unicorn was going to challenge her on her own turf! Practically boiling with magical power and indignant fury, the dark Princess materialized into Rite's subconcious fantasy.

It was... rather different than what she expected.

Luna's eyes slowly dimmed from a furious, blazing white as she twisted her head back and forth, staring at the landscape.

She'd visited the mind of madponies and criminals before, and knew better than to expect something stereotypically villainous, like being seated on a throne atop a giant mountain of gold or bodies. Even tyrants often dreamed of peaceful times and loved ones. But even by those standards, this dream was bizarrely serene.

Sparse forestland and lush ponds were scattered over the area, and in the distance a tall wooden windmill slowly turned in the cool breeze. Luna couldn't place the area; it could have been any one of a hundred such peaceful green spaces in Equestria. It might not even be a specific place, but a generic background for the events of the dream to take place.

That said, even the events seemed unusually mundane. Her quarry, Blood Rite, was seated next to a tree, a book floating open in front of him. Numerous younger ponies sat or laid around him, listening intently to him reading with smiles on their faces. Looking around, Luna could see Canterlot in the distance, perched on the side of a mountain as in the waking world. It was intact. No sign of war or devastation was evident, at least from this distance.

"... and so the villainous mutant apes were defeated at last, and Equestria was finally safe. Our hero, the mysterious crimson stallion, returned to the time rift without delay, and was never seen again!" Rite paused to chuckle as he turned the page with his magic. "Alas, nopony knew the identity of this mysterious - and surprisingly terse - equine. Generations of unicorns studied the rift, but were unable to figure out to which era it might lead, or how to open it again. Surely the pony must be a fantastic and decorated warrior in his time, whoever he was, but as far as we know that time has not even happened yet, or has passed eons ago. The mystery may never be solved." With a satisfied smile, Rite closed the book.

"Were you that stallion, Mister Rite?" asked a squeaky-voiced filly.

Rite laughed. "Oh, don't I wish! But time travel is hardly among my talents, young one." He furrowed his brow. "Although I have had to tangle with an upstart ape on occasion."

The book disappeared in a flare of magical fire, and Rite gave the younger ponies a wan smile. "All right, everypony. That's it for story time. It seems somepony else has an appointment with me today." His eyes narrowed. "One that has been some time in coming, I might add."

The colts and fillies made a few disappointed sounds, but started getting up and scattering away from the unicorn stallion. None of them seemed to notice Princess Luna as she approached, although Luna's eyes lingered on each of the children while they passed her.

Eventually Luna turned to face Rite, staring down at the sorcerer with a carefully even expression.

"Those ponies," Luna began, sweeping out a wing to indicate the departing children, "none of them have cutie marks. Some of them were teenagers."

"Yes, I know," Rite replied, settling back against his tree. He was not wearing his cloak in this fantasy of his, and Luna could see that he didn't have a cutie mark either. "Lucky them."

Luna tilted her head to the side. "Are you unmarked as well? In the waking world?"

Finally, Rite looked up at the dark Princess. His eyes were cold and firm. Not angry... but cautious. He knew he was facing an enemy now, even if he held no particular emnity for the younger of the Equestrian diarchs.

"So, she hasn't told you yet? Hmph. Does Celestia not even remember me?" Rite grumbled.

"Oh, she remembers you, Blood Rite," Luna assured him. Her horn pulsed, and a corona of blue power surrounded the Princess of the Night. "Although she has certainly been tight-lipped about your past. Perhaps you wish to enlighten me, or shall we get right to the part where I cause you grievous magical harm?"

"Don't presume to threaten me, Princess. You cannot touch me, here. The moment you try, this dream will shatter and I will awake. Do you think I haven't prepared for this?" Rite snapped.

"I cannot say how well you've prepared your mysterious schemes," Luna couldn't help but smirk, "last I saw, not all was proceeding as planned."

Rite's eye twitched, and then he cleared his throat. "Yes, well... regardless, it is only by my design that you've been able to find and enter my dreams at all. I have permitted this meeting."

"Oh? And why is this?" Luna asked with an arched brow. "Did you wish to gloat over your inevitable success? Try to convince me to join your twisted cause? Or needlessly explain your evil plot so that I may more easily put a stop to it?"

Rite glared up at the Princess. "... You know, if you're not going to take this seriously, you can just leave."

The alicorn Princess rolled her eyes. "Very well. Go ahead. What are you trying to accomplish with this? Why attack Celestia?"

"Don't misunderstand," Rite warned, "overcoming the Equestrian royal family is merely a means to an end, not the end itself. I have my... qualms with Celestia," he snorted irritably, "but this is about more than me, or even her. The fate of all ponykind will be determined by my actions today."

"And what is to be that fate? What will be our future, if you have your way?" Luna asked.

"This." Rite said calmly, gesturing to the land around him.

Luna arched an eyebrow, then twisted her head left and right. "This... forest?"

"This world. Exactly as you see it here," the stallion reiterated, "this is my vision. This is my plan for equine-kind. Our future."

Luna frowned as she glanced toward Canterlot again. It honestly didn't seem any different than usual. "So... are you ruler in this fantasy world you've constructed? Is this some sort of recreational area for you?"

Rite snorted. "No. I am not ruler. This world bends knee to nopony, least of all me. That's the point." He started walking past her, gazing at the tree line. "The foes Equestria has faced in the past were enemies of harmony. They sought to remake the world for themselves, harming those who they controlled, sometimes for the pure joy of conflict." He stopped and looked back at the alicorn. "Having been one of them in the past, I'm sure you, more than anypony, can appreciate such a destructive will and intention."

Luna scowled. "And I suppose you're different?"

"Dreams are the expression of the heart, are they not?" Rite asked. "Look around you. I do not wish harm upon the ponies of Equestria. I do not seek to bring Equestria to ruin. Quite the opposite."

The Princess of the Night scoffed. "If you command such magics that you can protect yourself from my power, it is a trifle to show me whatever illusion you wish within your dreams. This hardly qualifies as proof of your benign intentions." Her eyes hardened. "And even if it did, I still very much object to your methods."

Rite's expression soured. "Hmph. I didn't seriously expect anything better from you." He turned to face the Princess and pointed a hoof at her chest, coming just short of touching the taller pony. "If you take nothing else from this encounter, then, know this: change is coming to Equestria, and the foundations of royal authority that have rotted for over a thousand years under Celestia's oblivious rule will soon crumble beneath you. You'll find your power slipping further and further from your grasp, and the more you struggle - the more hapless servants you send to stop me - the more ponies will come to harm. I do not wish to hurt anypony, Princess Luna, but my rebellion will be far from painless."

Luna sneered at the unicorn. "And now the fantasy is stripped away from the truth of your aims. You cannot challenge the royal house directly, so you strike with guile and deceit and threaten the weak."

"Oh, I will be all too happy to take the fight to you once the time is right, Princess," Rite snapped back, "but how much damage is caused in the meantime is up to you."

The sorcerer stepped closer until he was almost nose-to-nose with Luna. "I leave you with this question, Princess Luna: when the time comes and the moon threatens to escape your noxious magical control, how many ponies' lives will you sacrifice to hold on to it?"

Luna's patience broke, and she reared up angrily while her horn lit ablaze.

Rite's expression didn't change as a veritable river of energy surged from the alicorn and slammed into him. His body instantly flashed and vanished into a series of collapsing runic circles, each of which quickly came apart under the torrent of magic. Within seconds the dream world fell apart around Luna, collapsing into motes of light that were swallowed by encroaching shadows.

In a matter of seconds, Luna was alone in the dark.

---

Trixie had to admit that she was becoming grudgingly used to her new early morning routine.

She could only characterize it as "grudging", because she still recognized, on an intellectual level, that this was all bizarre and bothersome and completely out of her comfort zone. Ranma Saotome was an enormous intrusion on her life, and in particular her food stocks, and she had no real reason to keep helping him.

Case in point, she'd woken up this morning to see the transformed stallion doing weird poses and violent motions in a clearing. He called it a "kata", which Trixie concluded was the human word for "thrashing around at thin air like a moron". She'd then started preparing a pot of oatmeal, only at four times the usual quantity. She was certain Ranma could eat more if she let him, but Trixie figured she'd have to ration their food if they were going to make it to the next town without skipping meals. She was used to budgeting her food for an entire month, not portioning it out until she could make it to a town that wasn't liable to drive them away with spears. Which was also Ranma's fault. Mostly.

But, somehow... it wasn't all as disagreeable as she would have thought.

"Oatmeal this morning, huh? Okay, sounds good."

Ranma's voice came from right next to Trixie while she was deep in thought, and it was difficult for the unicorn not to yelp in surprise when she found him standing between her and the cooking pot.

"Yes, and it's almost done. Are you done with your ridiculous exercises?" Trixie asked.

"They're not ridiculous, and it isn't just exercise. I need to work out how to keep in form while I'm in this body." Ranma backed up and then kicked out a rear leg in a blur of motion. The air cracked loudly, and several shredded leaves started floating down from a tree behind him. "This anatomy is all new to me! Everything is different! And that's just my Earth body! I haven't even started on working my pegasus wings into my techniques!"

Trixie continued stirring the oatmeal. "For not being 'in form', you're still apparently able to jump-kick a griffon and wrestle a minotaur into submission. Trixie doesn't think she has any potential enemies that will require greater skill and fortitude than that."

"Hey, you never know," Ranma insisted as he laid down, "one day you're getting by kicking around pushy classmates from your school's sports clubs. Next day? BAM. Cross-dressing ninja. It happens, and I need to be READY."

Trixie cast him a sidelong glance while she levitated a spoon into the pot. "Human society sounds difficult." She hovered a bowl closer and started scooping oatmeal into it.

"It has its moments. I make it sound pretty tough, but for all our problems we never had mutant dinosaurs coming out of the forest to kill us all." Ranma paused, furrowing his brow. "Well, not more than once, anyway. I don't think the Orochi even counts; we had to go find him, not the other way around."

Trixie settled her bowl in front of herself, and then moved the rest of the pot in front of Ranma. "In any case, Trixie can understand that you use up a lot of calories fighting and towing the wagon, but those crazy exercises of yours are just going to exhaust Trixie's food stores more quickly."

Ranma didn't answer right away, as he had his head stuck in the cooking pot, devouring his breakfast.

Trixie blinked, surprised and mildly disgusted. She levitated a spoon next to Ranma and then loudly cleared her throat.

Ranma stopped eating and pulled his head out. "Huh? Something wrong?"

Trixie pointed a hoof toward the spoon floating next to Ranma's head. Ranma looked up at the spoon. He frowned, as if the implement was some sort of puzzle. Then he bit onto the end of the spoon and turned his head back to the pot.

He stared down at the oatmeal, then at the spoon clenched between his teeth. "... I think I'm doing it wrong."

Trixie fought the urge to slap a hoof against her face. "Did they seriously not have eating utensils where you come from?"

"Of course they did. You know what else they had back where I came from? FINGERS," the martial artist mumbled around the spoon in his mouth. He sat back on his haunches and raised his forelegs. "How am I supposed to hold anything like this?"

"Just use your hooves!" Trixie instructed.

Ranma stared at the flat, dry, and utterly inflexible surface of his hoof, and then went back to staring at Trixie. "Use them to do WHAT?"

"Like this!" Trixie let her own spoon fall onto one of her upraised hooves. To Ranma's amazement, it stuck there, and his eyes narrowed as the mare stuck the spoon into her oatmeal and then successfully carried a portion from her bowl to her mouth.

She swallowed her food, and then gave Ranma a condescending smirk she usually reserved for children asking her silly questions. "There, see? No magic necessary. It's not hard! Now you try."

Ranma carefully brought his hoof up under the spoon in his mouth, and his eyes narrowed in concentration. Trixie struggled not to laugh, suddenly struck by how silly it was to see the other pony struggling over something usually mastered by toddlers. Her amusement only grew more difficult to contain when Ranma let the spoon fall into his hoof and it bounced off into the dirt.

"... Are you SURE it's not a magic trick?" Ranma asked suspiciously of the unicorn.

"So let Trixie get this straight: you can outmaneuver a griffon, outmuscle a minotaur, and blast away dragons, but handling a spoon is beyond you. You martial artists are strange," Trixie giggled behind her hoof.

"Can I get back to eating, now?" Ranma grumbled.

They ate the rest of the meal in relative silence, with the occasional jab from Trixie about Ranma eating like a dog, swiftly followed by a mumbled retort about missing his old body. Soon Trixie was putting away her utensils in her wagon while Ranma packed up the pieces of their camp site.

"Hey, Trix. I have a question," the stallion said after putting away the blankets.

"Although constantly whittling away at your impressive ignorance is tiring, the Great and Powerful Trixie shall again enlighten you, as is her duty," Trixie replied solemnly before jumping up onto the cart.

"Right. As if you ever get tired of talking," Ranma scoffed, "anyway, since I'm officially your bodyguard, now, I was thinking back on the fight with the unicorns." He gave a light and remarkably precise kick to the wagon yoke, and it bounced up and fell into place on his shoulders.

Trixie frowned as Ranma started pulling them back toward the road. "What about it?" She didn't really want to talk about that fight, because it had been less a "fight" and more an act of mercy on Rite's part. She was positive he could have destroyed her if he'd wanted to.

"Well, if we get attacked again, I need to know how much trouble you can handle on your own if a bad guy gets past me," Ranma explained, "if we get surrounded or if the enemy is really determined to get you rather than me, then we might need to run away instead of fighting. So I was wondering if you were stronger or weaker than the evil unicorns that jumped us."

This was precisely where Trixie didn't want the conversation to go, so she let her instincts take over her mouth. "The Great and Powerful Trixie could easily defeat those upstart rebels! Trixie just doesn't WANT to, because fighting is crude and dangerous and having you do it instead is the only reason Trixie lets you follow her around," she scoffed.

"Yeah, I know," Ranma replied, "but are you stronger or weaker than them?"

Trixie had not been expecting that response. Her instincts promptly returned a big fat question mark. "That... Trixie is... what?"

Ranma twisted his head around to speak directly to his passenger. "What I mean is, could you do spells that shoot big fire beams, like Swan Song?"

"Well... of course Trixie could! Uh... under certain... circumstances," the magician fumbled through her explanation, and she felt beads of sweat on her brow. Normally this was the part of the conversation where she'd start verbally lashing out at the pony questioning her abilities, but given that Ranma was doing it specifically so that he could better protect her, she hesitated to get defensive.

"So, what, you could pull it off if you had a chance to prepare? Are we talking a minute of advance warning, or an hour?" Ranma pressed.

Trixie shook her head. "Okay, well, maybe Trixie couldn't pull off something like THAT. Trixie is a stage magician, not a battle mage!"

"So you're weaker, then?" Ranma asked.

The mare scrunched up her nose. "It's complicated, all right? Magic is different from physical fighting! It's not just a matter of 'the strongest unicorn wins'!"

Ranma snorted. "What, and you think physical fighting IS like that?" He shook his head, smirking. "I know that the strongest doesn't always win. I beat stronger guys all the time. I usually have some other advantage, of course; sometimes I'm faster, or have better techniques. Or I'm smarter. Usually smarter. Almost always, actually. I fight a lot of really stupid people." He paused briefly to recall where he was going with this. "Anyway, being weaker than someone else just means you have to work harder than they do to come out on top. I didn't think that magic was any different."

Trixie blinked in surprise.

"But being stronger than the average chump gives you a lot more breathing room in a dangerous situation. I can eventually knock out a dragon-thing, sure, but it's hard. When it comes to dealing with a bunch of useless guards, I can cut them some slack and give them plenty of chances to run away. So I still want to know where you stand."

After Ranma's explanation, a restless silence descended upon the pair of travelers. Trixie's thoughts churned. Minutes passed amongst the rattle of the wagon wheels.

"All right. It seems that if you're going to truly understand Trixie's greatness and power, Trixie needs to give you a crash course in magic," the unicorn said suddenly.

"Okay, that sounds good," Ranma replied. Then he felt something prodding the back of his head. A second later a stick floated in front of him, surrounded by a shimmering pink glow.

"This is levitation. It's the most basic spell amongst unicorn-kind. Even as an intergalactic immigrant to this world, Trixie is quite certain you've seen it in action."

Ranma nodded. "Sure. You use magic to move stuff. Real handy spell."

"The thing is," Trixie continued, "it's not really a spell. Spells are complex combinations of magical patterns to generate specific, limited effects. Levitation is pretty much shoving a bunch of magic around an item and then shifting the flow in a certain way. That's why you can see every unicorn use it; not because it's so useful, but because it's so easy. There are literally accounts of newborn unicorn foals using levitation. Real magic isn't that simple."

"I get it. It's like punching. Anyone with fists can do it, and even make it work, but that doesn't make it a martial art," Ranma mused aloud. Then he looked down at his hooves. "Damn it...

"Trixie doesn't really understand, but that sounds about right. Anyway, there are two factors to consider in regards to a unicorn's magic ability: energy and retention."

"Wait, 'retention'? Not skill?" Ranma interrupted.

"They're close, but 'retention' is a much better word for it," Trixie explained, "but first: energy. This is simply the amount of mana a unicorn is able to draw on in a short period of time. It's pretty much the same as your muscle strength. You can only lift so much weight, and when you approach that limit, you exhaust yourself quickly and need to rest. Magical energy is likewise the upper limit on how big a spell a unicorn can use and how often."

"Simple enough. So what's 'retention'?"

"Retention is a unicorn's ability to memorize spells. Magic spells are complicated, and often contain iffy calculations that can change wildly according to the situation. Casting a spell by reading from a scroll and book usually isn't too hard, but doing magic from memory takes either Trixie levels of intelligence or a frankly stupid amount of studying and practice." She scratched at her chin with a hoof. "The exception would probably be a unicorn's special talent. A spell associated with a pony's talent comes naturally to them, and may even be completely unique to that pony. Other than their talent spells, the vast majority of unicorns only know spells that they use frequently in their day-to-day lives. A unicorn less brilliant than Trixie - which is probably all of them - just doesn't have the time and patience to master casting even a novice spell without a spell book, and even if they do, they can easily forget it without constant practice."

"That makes sense, I guess. And that explains why that dragon-thing wasn't being bombarded with fireballs and lightning bolts from all sides while it crashed through Ponyville. And why the unicorn guard in Saddlebrook only tried one spell before bolting. They just don't have the magic ready." Ranma turned to face Trixie with an arched eyebrow. "So I'm guessing that Swan Song chick is a pretty big deal as far as unicorns are concerned, right? She belted out one spell after another, and some of them were powerful enough to knock over buildings."

"Considering her apparent intelligence, Trixie isn't quite ready to rule out a hidden magic item just yet," the mare sniffed, "speaking of which: Unlike physical strength, a unicorn's magical energy capacity is more or less fixed over her lifetime. We can always study more to learn more spells, but we can't just exercise to get more magical power. For this reason, magic boosters like amulets and potions are the best way to use spells more powerful than our abilities would normally allow. That's probably why your unicorn friends are trying to get your fancy-shmancy gem."

"And why you're so persistent that I replace your gem that they stole!" Ranma added in a moment of epiphany. "You probably need that thing to do your magic act, don't you?"

When he looked back again, he saw that Trixie was glaring at him. "What? Am I wrong?"

Trixie opened her mouth to protest. Nothing came out for a few seconds (for the first time that Ranma had ever seen), and then she snapped her jaw shut and looked away.

"Trixie... is perhaps not blessed with EXCEPTIONAL magical reserves, much as Trixie loathes to admit it," the mare grumbled, "however, when it comes to study and retention, Trixie is second to none! Surely you've noticed that you've never seen Trixie reading her magic spells from books or notes!" She sat up proudly again, pushing her hat back behind her horn. "In fact, it could easily be said that Trixie's limited mana supply ENHANCES Trixie's magical genius! Without an endless supply of power to fuel Trixie's whims, Trixie must innovate! That crazy Swan pony may have brute force on her side, but she couldn't possibly match Trixie's cunning!"

"Fair enough. But if push comes to shove you're not going to be turning anyone into a ferret, is what I'm getting from this."

Again, Trixie's expression soured. "No. But when some creep shows up and starts pushing, Trixie expects you to do the shoving. That's what this whole 'bodyguard' thing is all about."

"And I will!" Ranma assured her. "But it's still good to know what to expect from you. Especially since you seem to like arguing with bad guys and getting involved in fights rather than running for cover."

"What are you insinuating?" the unicorn asked, eyes narrowed.

"That being the center of attention is more important to you than your personal safety," the martial artist answered without hesitation.

"...... Trixie chooses not to dispute that," she replied evenly.

Ranma chuckled. A moment later, he suddenly brightened. "Oh, hey! Since you explained magic to me, I can tell you all about martial arts! You probably think it's just about hitting stuff really hard and exercising until you can shatter bricks with your face, but there's a lot more to it than that! It can even be used to harness mental energy in a way that's a lot like magic!"

"Nifty," Trixie said, "but instead, Trixie is going to expand your crash course on magic by discussing Trixie's particular innovations with the levitation cantrip. Trixie kind of brushed it off as literal child's play earlier, but obviously the most ubiquitous of unicorn magics becomes all the more useful under Trixie's remarkable skill!"

"But, I-"

"First, Trixie must explain the particular mechanics of telekinesis! That's levitation's formal, scientific name, by the way. You see, equine mages long ago determined that the omnidirectional magical force could be altered to exert extremely heavy, directed force instead! However! The magical practice was limited by..."

Ranma hung his head and sighed as Trixie launched into a new lecture. Oh well. She's still pretty much the best traveling buddy I've ever had... which mostly goes to show what kind of complete losers I had to hang out with back on Earth. Still, I hope those unicorns come around for another attempt at stealing the MacGuffin Stone soon. I really have no idea how I'm going to find them otherwise.

---

Over a grassy hilltop overlooking Saddlebrook, a flash of light split the air and hummed furiously before dropping Blood Rite and Swan Song onto the ground.

"Bearing!" Rite shouted, closing his eyes and turning his head.

Swan quickly withdrew a map, compass, straight edge, and marker with her magic, displaying a sense of urgency and seriousness that had been entirely absent during their last outing. She looked up at Rite, calibrated the map with the compass, and then slashed a line of black across their chart of the countryside. Everything but the chart swiftly floated back into her saddlebags, and then she shifted the map over to her employer.

"Marked!"

Rite opened his eyes and observed the new vector. "This doesn't cross through the town. They've left already? What are those two even doing?"

Swan Song frowned. "That's a good question, actually. We haven't really been keeping tabs on Calamity ever since we escaped him in the ruins."

Rite nodded. "True. Of course, back then we had no reason..." he trailed off, his brow furrowing. "Wait, 'Calamity'?"

"That's what the blue mare called him. Or her, I guess." Swan sighed sadly.

"Ah, right. Now I remember. The mutant ape's name is a word for disaster and strife?" Rite wondered aloud. "Huh. How disgustingly appropriate." He shook his head. "Anyway, when we last met those two, it seemed like the blue unicorn was giving her orders. I wonder if she has some sort of leverage over our target?"

"You don't think they're together, do you?" Swan gasped, dropping her magical hold on the map. "Wait! What if she's the one who turned Calamity into a mare! What if it's all part of some kind of magical coercian to enslave him to fulfill her twisted sexual fantasies?!" She kicked at the ground angrily. "Why didn't I think of that?!" she despaired.

Rite turned to look at her with an expression of severe disapproval.

"I'll be good," the sorceress mumbled, her ears turning down.

Rite levitated the map back up in front of him to look over the chart. "All right, let's plan our next jump. Based on this vector they probably took the West road, so we should..."

He trailed off as he felt a gentle tingling in his horn, indicating that a substantial magical charge was building nearby. He immediately glanced over at Swan Song to see if she was casting something, but the other unicorn was staring up at her own unlit horn in confusion.

A humming noise started building from nowhere, and then the unicorns were briefly blinded by a brilliant flash of blue light.

Rite blinked his eyes repeatedly, flinching back. Swan started rubbing at her eyes with her leg.

When they recovered their sight, their eyes widened in tandem. Then Rite's pupils slowly shrank to pinpricks. Swan's jaw fell open, and she barely suppressed a whimper of fear.

The two sorcerers were now looking at the backsides of Princess Luna and Princess Twilight Sparkle, who had just happened to teleport to a few feet in front of them, facing toward the town. The baby dragon Spike was there too, riding on Twilight's back, but his presence largely went unnoticed alongside the appearance of the two alicorns.

"Hark! The village of Saddlebrook! Our prize may well await within!" Luna gushed, raising a hoof to point forward.

"Our prize? Aren't we looking for a pony?" Twilight asked.

"Indeed we are!" Luna said with a happy chuckle. "Let us begin our search without delay!"

Swan Song slowly turned her head toward Rite, droplets of sweat rolling down from her forehead. Rite made eye contact, shuddered briefly, and quickly shook his head.

Twilight quirked an eyebrow. "Okay, fine. Did you remember the disguise spell?"

Luna's horn flashed as she began the new weave of magic. As the faint aura of mana surrounded them again, Rite's own horn started to glow.

After a few seconds, a glittering wave swept over Luna and Twilight. Twilight's fur shifted to a dull brown color, her mane's colored stripes vanished, and her wings seemed to disappear. Luna underwent the same transformation, except that her fur turned Ivory and her mane became a rusty red.

A few seconds after that, while the two alicorns were waiting for their vision to clear, a buzz and a flash came from behind them.

"Hm?" Spike turned around, and his brow furrowed at a small wisp of white smoke coming from the ground. "What was that?" he mumbled to himself.

"So we're both going in as unicorns?" Twilight asked as she too twisted her head around. She was too late to see the last few sparks of magic from the outgoing teleport, and she didn't notice the fading smoke while observing her disguised body.

"Yes. Given that we are both used to manipulating objects with magic, I thought it would be awkward and suspicious for us to lose that capability and have to fumble with our hooves," Luna nodded smartly as the glow of her horn ebbed, "if you absolutely need to use your wings then you may, but to take flight will shatter the illusion. Take heed!"

"All right, I've got it," Twilight agreed, "let's get going, then."

---

Swan and Rite appeared in a random forest clearing, their faces turning dark from holding their breath. Only once the unicorns checked their surroundings and confirmed the lack of enemy Princesses did they dare to exhale.

"Okay, what the hay was that?" Swan's knees wobbled and she collapsed onto the forest floor. "I thought I was going to have a heart attack!"

"No... No... No no no no!" Rite shook in frustration and anger, and started pounding a hoof into the ground with every word. "I knew this would happen sooner or later! They're on the trail of the MacGuffin Stone too! I was just REALLY hoping it would be later!"

After a growl of incoherent anguish, the stallion planted a hoof against his face. "When Princess Luna invaded my dreams, I felt certain the Equestrian state was concentrating its efforts on finding me, not the Stone! BLAST!" He started pacing in front of his assistant, his thoughts and heart racing. "If Canterlot gets the MacGuffin Stone, then all is lost! We cannot challenge the royal family without it!"

"Would it be that hard to steal it from Canterlot, though?" Swan Song asked. "I mean, Princess Celestia's pretty bad at this. I hear she just left the Elements of Harmony lying around her old castle for centuries. We could probably sneak into Canterlot and nab the gem if we really needed to."

"We can't challenge the royal family with a strategy that depends entirely on their incompetence!" Rite complained. "Granted it probably WOULD work... but no! We have to beat Princess Luna to the MacGuffin Stone!"

Then his head snapped up. "The MacGuffin Stone..."

Swan arched an eyebrow. "Yeah? What about it?"

"They said they were looking for a pony, not the Stone," Rite's eyes were getting ever wider, and his tone sounded increasingly hopeful.

"Well, sure. But since the pony HAS the stone, you know, I don't think that makes a difference," Swan Song mumbled.

"It does!" Rite countered, whirling to face the intern. "The Princesses were preparing to search Saddlebrook for a pony! Don't you understand? We've already determined that Calamity has already left town! Princess Luna doesn't have the MacGuffin sense! Or somehow hasn't noticed it!"

Understanding dawned on Swan's face. "Of course! They weren't even sure whether he was in the town or not! We still have a slight lead on them!"

"Slight... yes..." Rite's eyes narrowed. "That isn't quite good enough. We have little idea how our next attempt will go, considering how EVERY SINGLE TIME we meet our target we manage only to further antagonize him and have to retreat." He glared meaningfully at Swan Song, and the mare pouted sadly. "We need to get rid of those alicorns."

"Okay, but... are you seriously thinking about attacking them? Princess Luna AND Twilight? At once?" Swan asked with a wince. "Because if so, then I'm pretty sure we just had our best chance for a surprise ambush when we were staring at their tails."

"No, Swan Song. I'm not so foolhardy as to challenge a Princess without a decisive advantage." His magic opened his own saddlebag, and a scroll hovered out of it. "If the Princesses are operating with limited information, then we can throw them off the trail. That should divert them long enough for us to catch up to our friend Calamity. Their disguises back there give me an idea."

"An idea?" Swan repeated, blinking.

The stallion smirked. "You count acting among your special talents, yes?"

Swan Song smirked back. "I was a WICKED Nightmare Moon in my tenth grade school play!" Then she clicked her tongue. "Of course, the filly playing Celestia wasn't NEARLY as good, and totally ruined the production when she started crying and begging the audience for help in the middle of our climactic battle. Which wasn't even much of a battle, honestly. I thought she was ad-libbing until-"

"A yes is entirely sufficient, Swan Song," Rite deadpanned, opening up the scroll, "now hold still."

---

"Hello there! Miss? May I speak to you for a moment?"

A black pegasus mare halted at the request, turning to look behind her. A brown unicorn with a dark purple mane was trotting up the street, smiling brightly while a dragon baby sat on her back holding a paper scroll.

"Uhm, okay. You're not selling anything, are you?" the pegasus asked suspiciously.

"No, nothing like that!" Twilight stopped in front of the other pony and leaned her head to the side. Spike immediately unrolled the parchment he was holding, revealing one of the paintings Luna had produced of their equine target. "I was just wondering if you've seen this pony. It's very important that I find him."

The citizen arched her eyebrow. "No, doesn't look familiar. I'm sure I'd remember a physique like that." She frowned. "Although it's been kind of chaotic around here lately. Everypony's been really distracted."

"Yeah, I was wondering about that," Spike said as he rolled up the poster again, "did you guys get attacked? Half the city hall is gone."

"Nopony's sure exactly what happened," the pegasus said, her voice taking on a nervous tone. "The town hall and local inn were magically bombed or something, nearly all of the guards were beaten up, and a concert I had been looking forward to for MONTHS was canceled because the band was hospitalized!"

Twilight looked shocked. "And nopony knows what actually happened to them?"

"There are lots of accounts and stories, but some of them are pretty out there," the other mare admitted, "some ponies SWEAR that the guards were attacked by some sort of super-equine vagrant with ice breath like a frost dragon. Like if Supermane suddenly took to roughing up rural peacekeepers instead of fighting crime." She shook her head. "With the damage we've suffered, though, you'd expect there was an army laying siege or a major riot or something!"

The pegasus glanced over her shoulder briefly. "Anyway, I have to go. Sorry I couldn't help you."

"No, no, that's fine. Thank you for your assistance," Twilight assured her before turning away.

"Well, that was interesting," Spike mumbled as he looked up at the inn in the middle of the town. A thick scorch mark covered one corner of the structure, and there were curtains covering each window. "I was wondering what happened over there."

"It's very odd that the town was attacked and nopony even knows why," Twilight mused, "do you think we should look into this? It seems a bit more important than finding Saotome for the sake of scientific curiosity and friendship."

Spike snorted as he rolled open the poster again and looked it over. "I'm pretty sure that's not what Luna has in mind, here."

"Really?" Twilight quirked an eyebrow. "Why do you think-"

The sound of a throat being cleared came from Twilight's front, startling her from her current train of thought. She snapped her head forward again to see what was wrong.

There was another mare in front of her now, this one a tan-colored earth pony. Her black mane was piled up in a bun behind her head, and a pair of glasses sat on the end of her muzzle. A cutie mark of a notary's stamp was on her rear leg, indicating that she was a bureaucrat or some other kind of public servant.

"Excuse me, Miss," the new pony said with a fairly indecipherable accent, "I understand you're looking for somepony? Perhaps I may be of assistance?"

"Ah, okay! Thank you!" Twilight tilted her head out of the way again, and Spike again unrolled the poster around to show the pony ahead of them. "Have you seen this stallion?"

They were quite gratified to see a slight widening of the mare's eyes and a pursing of her lips. "I... believe I have. May I ask why you're looking for this pony, Miss...?"

"I'm Starshine Twinkle," Twilight lied, smiling in a way that was completely trustworthy and congenial and not at all nervous, "I just want to talk to this pony, that's all."

"So it isn't that important, then?" The earth pony lifted a hoof to adjust her glasses as she stared down at the disguised Princess.

"No, it's very important!" Twilight protested. "I can't divulge exactly why, but this pony may have information on a critical threat to all of Equestria!"

Well, that about tears it. The Princesses are on to us. Behind the subtle sneer of an earth pony bureaucrat, Swan Song's mind churned. She couldn't help but wonder exactly how much Canterlot's alicorn oligarchs knew about the mysterious simian-turned-pony, or if their only interest was in the MacGuffin Stone he carried.

"Well, I suppose if it's a matter of security, then it can't be helped," Swan Song sighed, "that stallion showed up just yesterday, traveling with a blue unicorn pony. I don't recall their names, and really only know about him because he and his traveling partner were questioned about some manner of magical altercation just outside of town."

"A fight? Is that was happened to the town hall and inn?" Spike asked.

"I couldn't say. That's why they were questioned," Swan said with a sniff, "however, the guards didn't learn anything useful, and there was no evidence to justify detaining them. The pair left almost immediately, heading South. That's all we know."

"That's great! Thank you!" Twilight said, quite pleased that she'd been given a heading. Spike began rolling up the poster, and Twilight started to turn away.

"Just a moment," Swan said, halting her, "if this is a matter of Equestrian security, then that suggests that this stallion is involved in something... unseemly. Is that the case? Might he be involved in the disturbances yesterday?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that!" Twilight said, shaking her head. "He may have information we need, but he's not a suspect himself! And as far as I know, there's no reason to think he might be blowing up buildings!" Twilight stopped, then looked up in thought. "At least, not on purpose. Which reminds me: if he were to come back for some reason, do not attempt to detain him, and under no circumstances should you attempt to use magic on him."

There was nothing false about Swan's confused blink at that statement. "Pardon? Why shouldn't we use magic on him?"

"He has a... condition. It's difficult to explain, because we don't know much about it. But most if not all magic spells seem to generate a randomized effect when used on him rather than the intended enchantment. So if you're going to be investigating him any further, just make sure to let the guards know."

Swan's eyes were wide now, and she was struck speechless. Luckily for her cover, the particular trait that Twilight was describing was entirely bizarre and unheard of enough that such disbelief was an expected response.

"Anyway, you've been a HUGE help! Thank you so much for your assistance!" Twilight grinned and her horn flashed, and a moment later the disguised Princess teleported away.

Swan Song continued staring forward, her expression frozen as her thoughts raced.

"... I think we have a problem."

---

Spike blinked his eyes rapidly as he and Twilight teleported into the middle of town, and then he poked his mount/guardian in the back of her neck. "Hey, 'Starshine'! You're trying to avoid attention, remember? Don't you think teleporting around town like it's no big deal is a little suspicious? I don't see a lot of other unicorns doing that!"

Twilight flinched. "Oh! Right. Good point. Thank you, Spi-er... wait, do we need to come up with a cover name for you, too?"

"I think we'll be fine," the young dragon deadpanned, "and while we're on the topic: Starshine Twinkle? Really?"

"What? It's a perfectly good cover name!" Twilight hissed. "Now be quiet! Somepony could overhear us!"

Spike duly let the matter go as Twilight trotted down the road toward the area that Luna said she was going to search for interviews. They spotted her almost immediatley, down the road, speaking to a jittery-looking earth pony stallion and looking quite concerned.

"And you say this 'Havoc' pony dispatched the guards with ease? Dreadful!" Luna said, a dark grimace upon her features.

"I'll say it was! I heard that this guy is some kind of conspirator against the throne! An actual rebel!" the stallion shuddered.

Luna nodded. "Most worrying. And you say he looked much like the stallion I seek, Saotome Ranma?"

"Yes'm."

"But his name was Havoc, not Saotome?" Luna pressed.

"That's right. In fact, I believe he specifically emphasized that his name was Havoc, and that anypony who thought he was Saotome was mistaking him for somepony else."

Luna nodded in satisfaction. "Indeed, that must be the case. The pony I seek is a noble warrior, not some rebel brigand. I am certain this is a matter of mistaken identity, as he supposed."

"Right," the stallion agreed, "although if he WAS actually a rebel brigand trying to hide from the law, it would certainly be in his interest to make a cover identity and pretend-"

"Hark!" Luna interrupted as she spotted Twilight and Spike running up to her. "My companion approaches! Thank you for your time and polite assistance, citizen! Good day!"

Luna walked away immediately, leaving the stallion to stutter a quick and bewildered farewell to her rear.

"There you are! We have a strong lead!" Twilight said, quickly closing with Luna to the point that she wouldn't have to shout. "I was told that Saotome arrived and left town yesterday. He was headed South with another pony."

"Success!" Luna could barely restrain herself from releasing the Canterlot voice after getting a direction within ten minutes of searching. Then she considered Twilight's statement. "A companion, you say?"

"Yes. I didn't get a name, but the pony I spoke to said he was with a blue unicorn. The town guards thought they might have been involved in a fight, but eventually let them go."

Luna nodded her head thoughtfully. That certainly didn't line up with the story about "Havoc's" encounter with the guards, so it seemed this was a real lead and not a case of mistaken identity. The presence of some unknown other unicorn was unexpected, but probably irrelevant; neither Blood Rite nor Swan Song were blue.

"Very well. Come! I will teleport us to the southern path! Some twenty miles should allow us to close the gap without overtaking our quarry!"

"Actually..." Twilight hesitated, giving a meaningful glance toward Spike, "we should probably head out of town before doing that. You know, so that nopony sees a pair of suspicious unicorns - one of whom is unusually tall for a mare - using extremely powerful long-range teleportation magic that would only be possible for a famous archmage."

"Ah... Yes. Absolutely." Luna quickly lowered her voice and then turned toward the town's southern exit. "Your wisdom is a considerable asset, Sparkle. You have my extensive gratitude for accompanying me."

Spike rolled his eyes.

"Also, as long as we're using disguises, I came up with the alias Starshine Twinkle," Twilight added as they headed toward the gate.

Luna raised an eyebrow. "... I suppose it will do," she mumbled, "if you must call me by name when others may hear, refer to me as Constantina."

"Now THAT'S a cool spy name," Spike said with a grin.

"Okay, first off: we're NOT spies," Twilight pointed out firmly, "second, a 'cool' cover identity draws MORE attention, not less. Mine is simple and unremarkable!"

"Unless somepony suspects something, in which case it makes it obvious it's you," Spike remarked.

"It is no matter," Luna interrupted before her companions could continue arguing, "we have accomplished our initial objective quickly and with discretion. Let us hurry! Saotome awaits!"

As the disguised mares and dragon rushed to the town gates, a shadowy figure watched from a clock tower near the corner of town.

Rite held a small telescope in front of him with his telekinesis, shielding himself from distant observers with a shroud of obscuring magic.

After the subjects of his gaze moved out of sight, the sorcerer closed his eyes. With a thought, he picked up the presence of the distant MacGuffin Stone to the Northwest.

Excellent. I still hold the advantage. But even so, this encounter was far too close for comfort. I need to recover the Stone and wash my hooves of this Calamity as soon as I possibly can.

Rite smirked at his own mental pun. It really was a little TOO appropriate a name for the creature that had initially been launched out of a magic gem and then inadvertently foiled his master plan.

The door behind him creaked open, and Rite confirmed that Swan Song was entering. She looked somewhat subdued, but he attributed that to her "cover character". "Excellent work, Swan Song. That should keep them from stumbling upon the MacGuffin Stone until we have it safe in hoof."

Swan Song chewed on her lip anxiously. "Ah... yeah..."

"But that doesn't reduce the urgency of our task," Rite admitted, turning around fully, "if the Princesses managed to figure out that Calamity passed through Saddlebrook, they may have a way to determine that their current heading is incorrect. We must recover the Stone without delay, and resolve the matter of the ape's lingering grudge against us!"

"Uhm..."

At hearing the hesitation in Swan's voice, Rite's eyes narrowed. "What is it? Are you going to refuse to change him back again?"

"No, no, it isn't that..." Swan said quickly. "It's just, uh... I talked to Princess Sparkle a little, and she said something about Calamity that's... interesting. And might completely ruin our plans."

Rite's ears swiveled forward and he leaned closer. "What? What's happened?"

"She said that he suffers from some kind of condition where magic doesn't affect him normally. Specifically, she said that when magic is used on him, it generates a random magical effect rather than the one intended." She cringed. "So, if, for example, I were to cast a reversal for my polymorph..."

"Please," Rite rolled his eyes and frowned at the mare, "is this the best excuse you could come up with for putting this off again? If magic doesn't work on him, then how did you polymorph him in the first place? If that spell hadn't worked as perfectly as it did, we probably wouldn't BE in this situation. And my magic missiles seemed to produce no unusual effects during our ambush on Princess Luna."

"True," Swan conceded, "but then, during that same battle, I tried to paralyze him, and instead he teleported away."

Rite blinked.

"And you remember that explosion from yesterday that almost knocked me out? I didn't mean to blow him-slash-her up; that was supposed to be another polymorph spell."

Rite's expression darkened.

"I don't know how this effect is supposed to work, and neither does Princess Sparkle, but she explicitly warned against using magic on him. And, well, seeing as she's the Element of Magic, it seems to me that she'd know what she's talking about."

Swan wilted as Rite's expression shifted some more, glaring at her.

"So, you're telling me that you can't even undo the spell you cast? Not that you won't, or that you shouldn't, but that you can't? That even if we submitted entirely to his demands and EVEN IF he gave us the MacGuffin Stone ahead of time to use as a focus, that somehow restoring his original form - our ONLY point of contention with this creature! - is completely beyond us?!"

"I'm not saying that!" Swan quickly clarified. "I'm just saying that I'd probably fail and just make things worse."

"Ah. Yes. A valid concern," Rite agreed in a voice that was far too calm and reasonable for Swan's taste. "Perhaps instead I could offer to let him TRAMPLE you for doing this to him! He might decide to give up on his vendetta against us after all! AND IT WOULD SAVE ME THE TROUBLE OF DOING IT MYSELF!!"

Swan cringed back from the enraged shout. "Well, if you're going to start considering that, we may as well go with my idea."

Rite's face turned a much brighter shade of red as he restrained himself from screaming again. "... Let's go. The task ahead has just became much more difficult."

"You remember what my idea was, right? I'd be willing to go with him in exchange for the Stone! If he can be turned into a mare, maybe he can be changed back, even with the crazy magic-futzing thing! I know you're all progressive and stuff, and that's great, but in this case I'm really-"

"FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS, SHUT UP!!"

---

It was not until after dusk that Trixie decided to stop and make camp. Stop lecturing Ranma about magic, that is. Even having hauled the magician and her possessions for fourteen hours straight, Ranma was quite impressed at Trixie's ability to talk about herself and her main topic of interest for the majority of the same time period.

To her credit, at least she made it interesting. Ranma hadn't zoned out or managed to change the topic at any point, so he had officially learned more about magic during a single day of wilderness traveling with Trixie than he had in the entire rest of his life being subjected to enchantments and curses. He idly wondered what the magician would have to say about some of the supernatural beings and effects he'd seen back on Earth.

"All right, go gather some wood for a fire while Trixie clears out some sleeping space," Trixie ordered, tapping the edge of the cart with her hoof.

"Do you want me to cook tonight?" Ranma asked while freeing himself from the wagon harness.

This caught Trixie off-guard, and she hesitated. "... You can cook?"

"Sure. Well, I mean, I used to be able to, at least," he cast yet another regretful look at his hooves, "but I can still give it a shot."

"But can you cook pony food? You're not going to go grind up a bunch of pigs and feed them to Trixie, are you?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Ranma assured her, "don't worry. I can work with veggies. They're a lot cheaper than meat, so most of the time I survived on them two or three meals a day."

The unicorn stared at her employee, weighing the options in her head.

"Well, if you want to try, Trixie supposes it does no harm to give you a chance," she allowed, "and certainly Trixie would feel better about having you around the more work you do. Now go get the firewood."

"Sure thing! Thanks, Trix!"

Some hundred feet away, sheltered from view of the clearing by the tree line, Rite and Swan Song sat around a crystal ball. Rite powered the scrying tool with his magic, displaying a top-down image of the clearing ahead of them and the two occupants who were setting up camp for the night. The small gray-colored blob - crystal balls didn't offer spectacular image resolution, unfortunately - moved toward the forest as the little blue and purple blob started digging about in the wagon.

"They've separated," Rite said, "if we're going to confront our target, now is the time."

"Why do we need them to be separated, again?" Swan asked. "Didn't you say that the unicorn is no real threat?"

"I said that she isn't dangerous," Rite corrected, "or at least, she isn't dangerous in the same way you are. That doesn't mean that she can't interfere, however. During our last attempt she ruined the retrieval just by being there and having inconveniently stereotypical taste in magic accessories. And let's not forget that Calamity apparently takes orders from her. Given that Miss Great and Powerful Something-or-other seemed very interested in our plans when we met her last, she's probably not as disinterested in Equestria's fate as the ape might be."

Swan stared away through the tree branches, looking as nervous as Rite had ever seen her. "So, what do we do when we meet him? I mean, her?"

"Assuming Calamity doesn't take your head off on sight, we're going to move ahead as we'd originally planned," Rite said grimly.

Swan looked alarmed, both at the prospect of using their original strategy and at the implication that she was going first. "But Mister Rite, chances are my trying to cure her will only hurt her!"

"Yes. And if that's the case, then so be it. If she explodes or suffers some other harmful effect, then keep on casting it and keep the ape off-balance. I will use the diversion to launch a surprise attack. We may be forced to finish Calamity off for good." Rite's horn glowed brighter, and the view in the crystal ball zoomed out further to give an even wider view of the area.

He stopped talking, and his eyes narrowed at the image. "Hmm... when you meet Calamity, you'll need to convince her not to attack right away, obviously. I'm not confident we can win an even fight." The sorcerer floated a sheet of parchment and an ink quill from his pack and then quickly started writing. "Read this to her when you confront her. I think it may go some way to disarming her hostility." Rite floated the parchment over to his assistant. "Here. Look it over before we proceed."

Swan Song took control of the magical levitation field around the note, tugging it down to a more comfortable reading level.

Do not read this message aloud. There are at least three other ponies stalking us at my three and six o'clock. Likely Lunar Guard. Prepare to strike the opponent to our rear. I will fight off the attacker on our flank and prepare a defensive enchantment. Don't hold back.

Swan scrunched up her nose. "Uh... in what context is this supposed to make sense to her? Is it some kind of double-ruse? Are you going to create decoys, or..." she met Rite's eyes, and then trailed off as he glared at her. She glanced back at the message.

Her eyes widened. "Oh. OH! Okay, sure." The parchment fell from the air as her levitation magic faded, but her horn flared even brighter as she turned around. "Flare beam!"

A screaming lance of hot yellow blasted through the forest, setting bushes ablaze and burning scorched holes through the many tree trunks in its path.

It also generated quite a bit of light, which made the Lunar Guard jumping away in a panic far more visible for a follow-up spell.

"Luna's wings! What the hay?!" the stallion shouted as he took to the air. His fur was dark, and he wore dirty blue mail to help him hide in the forest shadows. "We've been spotted!"

"Ugh, I hate batponies. Stupid flying rodents," Swan Song spat while her horn sparked again. "White wing!"

Swirling arcs of magic coalesced around the sorceress's horn in a miniature cyclone, and then blasted away in all directions. Thin, curved blades of magically propelled air whipped through the trees in a wide spread, ripping apart branches and sending the batpony scrambling for altitude.

On the other side of the sorceress, Rite was engaging his own target in a much more subtle manner. His horn wove threads of magic together and placed them between the trees, stretched into glittering, almost invisible traps like spider webs.

Rite had no idea why Swan Song chose to shout out the name of her spells when she cast them; her magic didn't require any verbal component, and he considered it a serious tactical error to give your opponent a clue to what kind of spell you were using before it even left your horn. He had to admit, though, that it rather suited her brute-force approach to sorcery, and also complemented his own magic. In that she provided an excellent diversion.

Sure enough, a batpony came gliding through the trees with a throwing blade clenched in her teeth, focused entirely on the green unicorn shredding apart the forest. It's possible she didn't even see Rite, and even if she had, it probably wouldn't have helped her avoid the magic trigger.

The moment the mare touched the threads of the spell, a tremendous jolt of electricity burst around her. The Lunar Guard screamed and tumbled to the ground, smoldering, and a batpony stallion following behind her stopped short in surprise and confusion.

Rite didn't give him a chance to get his bearings. With another flash of magic, a ghostly green hand like a griffon's talons appeared and shot toward the soldier. The Lunar Guard dodged well enough to avoid being grabbed, but his wing was grazed by the razor-like claws and he dropped down into a rough landing.

"Rebel scum!" The batpony snarled as he hit the ground, snapping his head toward Rite. He was still up and mobile, although his wing was twitching painfully.

"Worthless pawn," Rite retorted calmly, a magic circle flickering into view on the ground around him.

Chains of bright red metal erupted from the dirt around the sorcerer, shooting toward the grounded batpony in long, chaotic arcs. The soldier managed to dodge away at first, leaping aside and gaining extra clearance with a flap of his good wing. When he bolted for the unicorn stallion, however, the chains simply whipped to the side and entangled his legs. The batpony lost his mobility immediately, and was then slammed hard into a tree.

"This will only hurt a moment," Rite assured him darkly as the clanking metal tendrils wound tighter around his limbs and snaked up toward his neck.

A trio of throwing knives suddenly cut downward through the air, catching Rite off-guard and interrupting his control of the spell. All three plunged into his cloak on his right side; one in each leg, and another at his neck. Rite whinnied in surprise and pain, and then staggered, falling on his side.

Shade Stalker dropped down next to the sorcerer, almost seeming to appear from nowhere amongst the shadows of the forest. "Gloomy! You still active?"

"I'm okay! Just... rrgh! Gimme a minute!" the entangled soldier grunted as he thrashed and squirmed against the magical chains around him.

The pained shout of another Lunar Guard smashing into the ground informed the soldiers that Swan Song had finally landed a good hit on her own target. The green unicorn whirled around, her horn blazing and an unsettling smile on her face.

"Ah, of course there's more of you. Rodents are like that," she mused to herself.

"Don't take another step, mule," Shade Stalker snarled, planting a hoof on Rite's side, "your friend here is badly wounded. You surrender, and I'll make sure you both get to live long enough to explain your crimes to a court. Your choice, rebel."

Swan Song laughed, much to the batpony's fury. "Are you being serious right now? YOU'RE threatening US?"

"I'm threatening YOU," Shade corrected, "Mister 'Blood' here didn't get the benefit of a threat first. If you don't give up, he'll die."

Swan snorted. "No, he won't." Then she winked. "Nighty-night, rodent."

The flare of light and burst of force that came from Rite's horn was almost instantaneous, blasting Shade Stalker away before she had any hope of reacting. Had she been paying close attention to the fallen unicorn's horn, she might have seen a few subtle sparks of magic building around it in plenty of time to act, but Swan Song had completely occupied the soldier's attention.

Shade slammed into a tree wing-first, sending jolts of pain up her spine before she bounced off onto the dirt. She didn't think she broke anything, but she definitely wasn't going to be flying anymore tonight, if nothing else.

Rite grunted as he stood up, his horn pulsing gently. Trickles of blood came from the three small holes in his cloak, but it was obvious that the knives that had struck him had barely managed to inflict flesh wounds. His falling over had been a complete ruse.

"Wh-What? No way!" Shade Stalker coughed painfully and struggled to stand. "I HAD you! All direct hits! How-"

"Magic cloak, obviously," Rite said simply, looking over the garment, "frankly, I'm impressed your blades penetrated at all. It's a good thing your mind isn't as sharp as your weapons, otherwise you would have stood a chance. Maybe." His horn flashed again, and Shade was slammed more firmly into the ground, her knees buckling.

Then Rite glanced toward the other batpony on the ground, and the crimson chains constricting him tightened and looped around his legs. The Lunar Guard screeched in anger and frustration, but was utterly helpless to assist his squad leader.

"Now, then. I have some questions for you, unless you'd rather us force the answers out using magic," Rite said to Shade Stalker, "I'm fine with either, but you might not like just anypony looking at your innermost secrets, you know?"

"Dang, you guys dig around in people's memories? That's super sketchy," Ranma commented.

"Trixie is hoping she talks. It's strange to see a pair of Lunar Guard patrolling rural areas like this, and Trixie wonders what's going on."

Rite and Swan stared silently at Shade, and then slowly turned their heads around.

Ranma was standing just behind them, already within kicking distance, and looking generally non-plussed. And also male again, apparently. Trixie was standing a ways behind him, her horn glowing softly and an insufferable smirk on her face.

"I wish you'd stop doing this," Rite said, sighing.

"And I wish you'd curl up and die," the martial artist retorted. "I wonder which wish will come true first?"

Swan's jaw fell open, and then slowly curled up into a smile. "You... You're... You're a stallion again?!" she said, almost squealing with joy.

"Swan Song!" Rite snapped. His assistant sorceress quickly schooled her features, although there was bright cheerfullness in her eyes that was completely inappropriate for their situation. With a tired groan, Rite turned to address Ranma again. "All right, now, I know this looks bad, but we're not here to fight!"

"Coulda fooled me," Ranma mumbled, glancing behind him. Smoldering bushes dotted a scorched trench through the forest, and dozens of trees had been ripped apart from Swan Song's wild magic.

"Okay, well, yes... things have not gone entirely to plan, obviously," Rite said nervously, his eyes darting over to the Lunar Guard, "but if you'll just give me a moment to dispatch this interloper-"

"The moment your horn lights up, you're eating bark," Ranma snapped, his eyes narrowing, "the only reason I haven't put your face through a tree already is because I don't really know what's going on, here." He leaned to the side in order to get a better look at the struggling batpony. "Speaking of which, what's your deal?"

"You... You rebel mules won't get away with this..." Shade growled as she pushed herself to her hooves, dismissing Ranma's question. "The Princess... of the Night... will have all your heads!"

Ranma frowned. "Even mine?"

"ESPECIALLY YOURS!" Shade snapped.

"Why? What did I do?" Ranma demanded, looking offended.

"Various crimes against the throne, including but not limited to arson, breaking and entering, assault of a public official, resisting arrest, and the attempted assassination of an Equestrian Princess!" the soldier answered. Rite and Swan both raised eyebrows, surprised and impressed by the list of charges.

"I was framed!" Ranma insisted. "I never attacked any Princess!"

The other equines waited silently, staring at him.

"And... uh... it wasn't TECHNICALLY arson!" Ranma continued somewhat hesitantly. "It was an accident!"

"... What about the other charges?" Rite asked.

"Er... look, I had my reasons, all right? I didn't do anything wrong! It just... kind of LOOKS like I did!" Ranma was sweating nervously by this point, and Trixie rolled her eyes.

"Save your excuses for the magistrate, rebel scum!" Shade Stalker hissed. "You'll all pay for your crimes against Equestria!"

Only got one chance, with the shape I'm in... I doubt it will work, but I don't really have a lot of options, here. Shade Stalker grimaced.

"What about Trixie?" Trixie asked, raising her leg.

The batpony paused, craning her head up to get a better look at the magician. "Well... we don't actually have anything on any 'Trixie'. Whoever that is. She can probably go free after some questioning, I guess. Anyway, I'm going to hurt you all now." Her good wing snapped down to rear leg, pressing into something in her armor.

Rite's horn flashed the instant Shade started to move. Ranma started moving an instant after that, and was much faster. Rite's vision exploded into stars as Ranma hammered a hoof into his head, and it wasn't thanks to any magic. The unicorn stallion sailed through the air, slammed into a tree, and then collapsed into a heap.

"What did I say?! I WARNED you, man!" Ranma said, scowling.

Swan Song yelped, her fur standing on end. The Lunar Guard had removed some kind of glowing yellow gem with her wing, but Swan was quite reasonably concerned that she'd be knocked out the moment she tried to do something about it. "H-Hey! We've kind of got a situation, here! How about we put aside our differences and work together, huh? Or, like, not hit each other, at least?"

Ranma hesitated, looking over at the batpony. The gem clasped in the tip of her wing had surrounded the armored mare with a silver light, which honestly did look like the most dangerous thing happening right now. Of course, his only real interest in this whole scuffle was to get Swan Song to change him back, which wouldn't be well-served by retreating or letting the sorcerers be captured. "Ah, damn it! Trix! What do I do?!"

Trixie frowned. "Trixie would have to advise we stay out of this, actually. Trixie doesn't fancy getting on the Lunar Guard's bad side, or doing their job for them."

"Well, it's a little late for that now, isn't it?!" Ranma complained.

"Hey, you're the one who started laying down ultimatums and smacking ponies around," Trixie retorted, sticking her muzzle up in the air, "if you would have consulted Trixie ahead of time, perhaps this wouldn't have happened."

A tremendous pulse of magical energy washed over the ponies still standing, and Swan Song almost lost her footing. The brilliant corona around Shade Stalker started expanding, obscuring the transformation occurring within the coccoon of light. Pieces of her armor plating tumbled into the dirt, broken at the joints and seams.

"Listen! That's a Lunar Lycanstone! It's a special weapon the Lunar Guard elites use in dire emergencies!" Swan Song shouted. The waves of power thrummed around her, and her mane whipped about around her face from the air currents. "We only have a few more seconds to stop her before it finishes activating!"

"What happens then?" Ranma asked.

The silver aura broke, blasting apart in burst of twinkling lights. Where before there had been a batpony mare, there was now a bestial bat-monster at least thrice a pony's size. Its wings were thick and covered in sharp horns of bone, while what had previously been hooves were morphed into taloned claws. The mare's entire body was covered with thick, tangled black hair, and her eyes glowed a furious crimson as they met Ranma's surprised gaze.

"This. This happens then," Swan mumbled, her ears flipping down.

The horrendous shriek that came from the transformed batpony sent Ranma's vision spinning, and for a moment all of his senses were thrown completely out of whack. Then Shade Stalker pounced, darting directly toward Ranma and smashing him aside with a monstrous fist.

"Whoa! Hey! Leave us alone!" Trixie yelped, stumbling away as her bodyguard went bouncing across the forest floor. "They're your enemy, not us!"

"You can't reason with her!" Swan shouted, swaying dizzily from the initial sonic attack. "She has the mind of a beast in this state! Not that she was exactly receptive to reason before!"

Shade turned her head toward Trixie, who froze under the soldier's blood-red gaze.

Luckily for her, Ranma was already back on his hooves and more annoyed than ever. "What the HELL was that about?! Why are you going right for me?! Attack the guy on the ground or something!" He snapped.

Shade spun on Ranma again, the spines on her wings quivering. The beast's tail - a barbed, fleshy whip that lashed about violently behind her - ripped through an adjacent tree trunk with the motion, carving an impressive gouge into the wood.

"I think she's focusing on the most serious threat! It's instinctual!" Swan shouted while slowly creeping toward Rite. "You should be flattered, really!"

Shade launched forward again, leaping up with a flap of her wings before stabbing her claws down toward Ranma's head.

Ranma surprised her by leaping up to meet her rather than retreating, speeding past the extended talons and slamming directly into the bat monster's chest. He kicked off in an instant, zipping back to the ground while Shade was sent spinning through the air. She tried to steady herself with her wings, but couldn't get her bearings before crashing into a tree and then dropping down onto her side.

"Fine! You wanna go? Come at me, furball!" Ranma growled, stamping a hoof into the dirt. The transformed Lunar Guard surged upright, trembling with animalistic rage.

Trixie, who had retreated to a fairly safe distance, groaned and slapped a hoof to her forehead. "You see? You see this?! This is what Trixie was talking about! We have better things to do than brutalize more hapless defenders of public order!"

"Defenders of public order?! They're a bunch of sketchy-looking bat-creatures skulking around a forest at night!" Ranma retorted, leaping over a wing slashing for his legs. "What part of that says 'defender of public order' to you?" Shade tried to bite at him once he touched down, but only got kicked in the nose for her effort. The transformed soldier staggered back, snarling.

"The Lunar Guard have an unusual modus operandi, true, but that is irrelevant to Trixie's point!" the magician chided. Shade and Ranma started circling each other, growling. "This is their problem, not ours!"

To emphasize her point, Trixie moved to point a leg at Swan Song. When she located the other unicorn, however, she saw the sorceress was lifting Rite up onto her back. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?! Come back here and fix this!"

"Nuh-uh!" Swan protested while settling her employer on her back. "We had this under control until you interfered! You deal with it!"

A meaty thump came from behind her, and Swan jumped as Shade's hefty body bounced across the ground nearby.

"Just fall down already, jackass! I have more important ponies to beat up!" Ranma shouted.

Shade Stalker rolled upright immediately, and then released another ear-piercing shriek before charging once more. The sonic blast felt like a needle punching through his skull, but this time Ranma held his focus. He met the bat monster's charge head-on, leaping into the air and then twisting into a vicious back kick on the beast's face. Shade Stalker shrieked even louder than before as her jaw fractured, and she dropped to the ground in pain.

Swan Song sighed dreamily, completely entranced by the sight of the stallion savaging the transformed batpony. "What a stud..."

"Ggghmmn..." groaned Rite.

"Right. Sorry. Fleeing now." Swan winced and started galloping away, using her levitation to keep the stallion on her back steady.

She almost tripped, however, when her hoof caught on something hard and heavy. Glancing down, she saw that there was a loose chain lying on the ground. A bright red chain, oddly enough.

"Oh, fireballs. The other one got away," Swan Song cursed while kicking the chain to the side. Then she raced into the forest once more, quietly praying to herself that the other ponies were too preoccupied to follow.

Were Shade Stalker in any sort of rational state of mind, she would have deeply resented being used as a diversion. Needless to say, letting the sorcerers escape had not been the intended outcome of her using the Lycanstone. She hadn't anticipated that the only non-unicorn in the group she was attacking was capable of fending her off long enough for the rebels to get away.

The idea that the earth pony could actually BEAT her in her magic-fueled, berserk state was entirely beyond possibility, of course. It was the sort of thing that would have prompted some important tactical questions as her snout was smashed into the dirt for the third or fourth time.

"SCREEEEEEEE!!" Shade beat her wings at the ground around her, lashing out wildly in a desperate rage. Ranma timed his approach easily to avoid the piercing spines as she lifted off, and then flip-kicked the warrior beast into another tree.

"Geez, how many hits can this freak take?" Ranma complained as his opponent got up again for another charge. "She's not THAT big!"

"She probably has some sort of magical regeneration," Trixie explained, "Trixie doesn't know about the particular effects of this 'Lycanstone', but that would explain why her wing recovered when she changed."

Ranma again met the transformed pony head-on, darting around a swipe of her talons and slamming a hoof into her face again. The beast jumped back from the blow, and then released another ear-rending screech that nearly blew the martial artist over.

"OW! Quit screaming at me! IT HURTS!!" Ranma complained. His form seemed to split into two flickering images, and before Shade could comprehend what was happening, he reappeared under her and jabbed her hard in the throat.

Shade flinched backward, gasping soundlessly, and then her opponent struck her in the side of the head with a spin-kick that sent her rolling across the dirt again.

"Okay, maybe that will shut her up for a little bit," the martial artist grumbled. "Hey, Trix! Do you have any ideas on how to beat this thing?"

Trixie arched an eyebrow. "Trixie's idea was to not fight it in the first place, remember? Besides, from where Trixie is standing, you look like you're doing fine."

"Well, yeah, obviously, but this is taking way too long!" Shade Stalker was up again, hissing through her damaged throat while her wings carried her up into a hover. "Its aura isn't strong enough for the hiryuu shouten haa! If I have to just keep pummeling it endlessly, this is going to take all night! I haven't even had dinner yet!"

Trixie sighed while her bodyguard and the Lunar Guard clashed again, once again resulting in a deep furrow being carved through the forest with the monster's body. "Well, let's see... does she still have that gem?"

Ranma hesitated, glancing back at his traveling companion. "Gem?"

"That Lunar jewel that she used to transform in the first place. Did she drop it? Did it disappear?" Trixie clarified. "The only thing keeping her fighting at this point is magical power, and that power has to come from somewhere, so either she's still being powered by the Lycanstone or this transformation is on a strict time limit. Does she still have it?"

The pigtailed pony furrowed his brow. "Huh. I dunno. Let's see."

Ranma barreled into Shade Stalker as she prepared for another ill-fated charge, body-slamming her into the ground. Then he pinned the creature's left wing with a leg, holding down the spine-riddled appendage to observe it more closely.

Sure enough, at the very end of the wing was a cluster of curved bone claws that were clenched together, like fingers grasping something tightly. Ranma hammered the wing hard, and the claws twitched open just enough to drop something shiny onto the ground.

"Got it!" Ranma proclaimed, just before Shade smashed him aside.

Rather than leaping after the martial artist, however, she started whipping her head about and pawing at the ground, searching desperately for the Lycanstone. Despite whatever distinct lack of rational thought sent her leaping directly into Ranma's kicks, she at least seemed to recognize that she needed the magic jewel to keep fighting.

Ranma jumped back up and dashed for the bat monster's tail. "Oh, no you don't!" He shouted, biting onto the spiny lash and swinging Shade to the side. Shade Stalker snarled and kicked behind her, trying to dislodge the earth pony.

Trixie sighed as the two fighters wrestled, kicking up clouds of dust and snarling angrily at each other. "What a waste of time. Like Trixie doesn't have anything better to do," she grumbled as her horn began to glow.

"Back off, furball! You've already screwed up your ambush or whatever!" Ranma shouted. He was on Shade's back, wrestling the larger beast into the dirt, and he wrapped his forelegs around her neck.

Shade Stalker thrashed ever more wildly as her magic faded; the batpony's bone spines were already receding into her skin, and she was beginning to shrink. Unable to shake off the stubborn stallion, she took a deep breath and shrieked as loud as she could.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEK!!"

"Aa-aa-aaaaaah!" Ranma's entire body contorted with pain, and his vision turned blurry. A moment later he was successfully flung onto the ground, and the transformed soldier again started searching for her gem.

"Damn it, I thought I stopped that!" Ranma complained, pressing his forehooves against his skull. "It's like someone shoved a spike in my ear! That's not FAIR!"

Shade Stalker was, predictably, not terribly concerned about Ranma's discomfort. Her form was shrinking fast, and a haze of confusion was settling over her thoughts as her mind slowly shifted from magical berserk rage to post-combat exaustion. Her head snapped left and right in search of her artifact, immediately fixing on the first point of golden light she saw.

Hissing angrily, Shade sprinted for the open patch of dirt with the Lycanstone laying in the middle of it. Such was her desperation and haste that she didn't notice that there appeared to be the upper half of a tree inexplicably floating over the gem.

Trixie snickered to herself as the monstrous batpony broke through her magic mirror, instantly smashing her head against the tree trunk behind it.

Shade Stalker stumbled backward, her eyes spinning in her head and blood dripping from her mouth and muzzle. She had finished reverting entirely to her normal form, and the full brunt of her new injury combined with a sudden dearth of energy to leave her on the brink of unconsciousness.

"The night... will... will not... ugh..." she collapsed onto the ground, unconscious.

"And that is THAT," Trixie said, sitting down and dusting off her forehooves. A ghostly flicker from her horn dispelled a second magic mirror that was obscuring the Lunar Lycanstone, and she levitated the gem to her before slipping it under her hat.

Ranma trudged past the comatose batpony, glaring at her. "Dumb creepy night horses, sneaking around and turning into monsters," he grumbled. Even if the battle had been largely one-sided, the martial artist still bore several shallow cuts from the wild slashes and many sharp spines of his opponent. "Are you SURE these lunatics are supposed to be the good guys?"

"I wouldn't be talking, Mister Princess Assassin," Trixie retorted. As Ranma passed by her she turned to follow him back to their camp site. "I hope you don't expect Trixie to save you ALL the time. You're supposed to be fighting to protect Trixie, not the other way around."

"Aw, lay off, Trix. Bad enough I had to fight that freak, but Rite and Swan Song got away AGAIN!" Ranma grumbled.

"Yes, they did. Trixie is starting to notice a pattern," Trixie mused, "at the very least, though, it's nice to know the authorities aren't COMPLETELY focused on hunting you down when there are actual violent rebels about."

"That isn't nice to know at all!" Ranma insisted. "How are they going to turn me back into a human if they're trapped inside a jail cell?"

"Trixie is sure you'd work something out," she smirked, "maybe you can turn yourself in and then break them out from inside the dungeon. Or even force them to change you back and then break out yourself and leave them there."

"Well, that wouldn't..." Ranma trailed off, tilting his head to the side. "... Huh. Actually, that's a pretty good idea. I mean, I hope I don't have to do that, but I totally could. You're good at this sort of thing, Trix."

"Trixie is a genius," the unicorn said smugly, "although, as it pertains to Trixie's brilliant ideas that are completely and patently illegal, Trixie would appreciate not being credited. Trixie is already finding herself an accessory to far too many crimes recently." She frowned. "And Trixie DETESTS being described as 'an accessory'."

Ranma chuckled. "Sounds fair to me. Let's go eat!"

---

Spike stirred the pot of stew he was tending slowly, and then pulled up the ladle he was using. Steaming vegetables bobbed to the surface of the thick, bubbling broth, and he gingerly plucked a chunk of potato from the ladle before popping it in his mouth.

"Hmm... a few more minutes," the young dragon decided aloud, dropping the ladle back into the cooking pot.

Behind Spike, Twilight was already tucked into a sleeping bag and reading a book laid onto a pillow. She was still disguised as a unicorn, as was Luna on the opposite side of the camp fire; it was reasoned that they couldn't predict when somepony might stumble upon them, and thus wanted to be ready to keep to their cover identities rather than try to explain why two Equestrian Princesses were camping out in the wilds.

Luna was sitting facing away from the camp and looking up at the stars. She had already raised the moon long ago, but seemed to have fallen into some kind of trance while staring up at the sky. Her horn was glowing, so Spike assumed she was doing some sort of high-level alicorn magic or something that was completely out of his depth. Twilight certainly didn't seem concerned about it.

"So, what's the next stop on tracking down this stallion?" Spike asked, putting aside the ladle.

Twilight levitated a map up next to her, turning away from her novel.

"Hard to say. The roads branch out a lot going South, so he could be headed to Ponannesburg if he's just trying to reach the nearest town. If he turns East, though, he could be heading toward a major city. We should probably try to beat him to the-"

A snapping branch came from the darkened woods around them, and Twilight leapt to her feet, horn blazing.

"Who's there?! Show yourself!" the purple alicorn shouted. Spike flinched back, impressed and slightly frightened by her speed. It seemed Twilight was more on edge than he thought. Luna blinked her eyes sleepily, shaking her head to clear it.

Some rustling came from the woods, and Twilight and Spike both oriented on the noise. Luna, either because she was still a bit dazed or because she simply didn't feel as threatened, just yawned.

When the intruder stumbled out of the forest and into the light of the camp fire, however, the Princess of the Night became far more attentive.

"A batpony?" Twilight gasped. "Are you with the Lunar Guard?"

A batpony stallion was trudging toward the camp fire, looking on the verge of passing out. His wing was clearly injured, his helmet was missing, and the dark purple peytral that identified him as one of Luna's soldiers was dented and scratched.

"What is the meaning of this? What's happened?!" Luna demanded, leaping to her feet. Only when her body resisted the reflex to spread her wings did she remember that she was still disguised.

The batpony's breath heaved, and once he could feel the warmth of the cook fire he allowed himself to stumble onto the ground. "My name... is Gloom Guard... I... I need you... to pass... message..." he had clearly been sprinting despite his injuries, which was the only way to cover substantial ground so long as he couldn't fly.

"O-Okay. Pass it on to whom?" Twilight asked nervously.

Gloom took a deep breath, his eyelids fluttering. "The town guard... they can get it... to... Princess... Luna..."

Spike and Twilight arched their eyebrows, looking over to the aforementioned pony.

"Very well," said Luna, raising her head high, "speak, warrior. I will ensure your Princess hears your words."

Twilight was sorely tempted to remind Luna not to speak like high nobility when they were in disguise, but the exhausted Lunar Guard clearly didn't notice. "Saotome sighted... heading W-West... toward Coltson..."

Both Princesses gasped, while Spike frowned at the map Twilight had been going over before. He was pretty sure that wasn't where they were headed.

"But how? Did he double back? Blast! We've been led astray!" Luna declared through clenched teeth.

She then became aware that Gloom was staring at her oddly. He was almost certainly wondering how it was that the ponies he had randomly stumbled upon were apparently searching for the same target he was. Then the batpony started coughing, helpfully distracting him from the troublesome thoughts.

"Not done... Blood... Blood Rite... is also there," Gloom gasped out, "I think... they may be f-fighting each other... don't know... who won..."

Twilight gasped again, but Luna's eyes narrowed into slits. "Is that all, warrior?"

"Yes... thank...... you......" Gloom Guard's eyes finally closed, and his body relaxed as he finally passed out.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Spike asked, cringing and pointing to the stallion.

"Aye, he is merely asleep. The Lunar Guard are of resilient stock," Luna assured her companions. She levitated a blanket from her pack and swept it over the slumbering pony. "He merely needs rest. Upon tomorrow's dusk, I'm sure he will awake and carry on the message himself, but protocol demanded he make every effort to pass on his warning tonight." Her jaw tightened. "And so he has."

"This doesn't make any sense. How did Saotome get onto the West road?" Twilight mumbled, scratching her head. "I was told the guards saw him go South!"

"Maybe it's that Blood Rite guy?" Spike ventured. "If he's chasing Saotome, maybe he and this other unicorn are trying to lose him."

"Plausible. Unfortunate, but plausible," Luna decided. She looked back down at Gloom Guard. "I do not know why the Lunar Guard came upon Saotome as they did, but the situation may be more dire than we had anticipated."

"Yeah, okay, about that," Twilight interrupted, "now that Blood Rite and Swan Song are almost certainly going to be nearby, don't you think pursuing Saotome might contradict Princess Celestia's orders?"

Luna and Spike turned to look at her with faces of utter exasperation.

"Are you STILL on about that?" Luna asked, annoyed.

"Give it a rest, Twi. Why would we go back now?" Spike agreed.

"But... But Celestia said-"

"I am aware what Sister said, and continue to insist that she is wrong," Luna said adamantly, "these rebels seek to overthrow us, Sparkle, and yet they roam the countryside at will hunting innocent ponies!" She beckoned to the unconscious Lunar Guard. "THIS is the result of Sister's restraint, well-intentioned though it is! We cannot cede the field to these sorcerers out of fear of a power they may not even possess! If we can locate and remove this threat to Equestria while finding Saotome, then I say all the better!"

Twilight pressed a hoof to her face in frustration. "Princess, it's not that I really disagree with you, but... I can't just ignore Princess Celestia like that! We need to consult with her first!"

"I will not," Luna said firmly, pounding a hoof into the dirt. "If you insist upon turning back, I will issue no further complaints. But I will proceed with or without your support. Every moment we spend allaying Sister's fears is one moment more for Blood Rite to advance his plans. I will gladly risk capture once more to deny him that chance!"

"But, you... I mean, he can't... we don't know..." Twilight trembled in frustration as her thoughts raced. While Luna seemed perfectly resolute in her decision to continue, the younger alicorn couldn't honestly claim she wasn't conflicted about turning back. "GAH! Spike! Would you say something to her?" she asked desperately.

Spike sipped from a ladle full of stew. "Supper's ready. Do we wanna eat before we head up toward Coltson? I get the feeling you don't want to go to bed and then continue tomorrow."

Twilight slumped onto the ground, defeated. "You're both terrible."

"So... is that a yes?" the dragon asked.

"Indeed it is, Spike," Luna said with a determined smile, "we feast, and then we march! To Coltson!"

Author's Note:

Ranma Saotome's official rap sheet: Assaulting a Princess of Equestria, assaulting a public official, aggravated assault, trespassing, breaking and entering, arson (two counts), vandalism (multiple counts), resisting arrest, assaulting an officer, assaulting a soldier of Equestria, possession of an unregistered magic weapon, defacing a public bounty notice, high treason, conspiracy to rebellion.

I apologize sincerely* if any of my "lessons" on magic are contradicted by canon or any of my reader's personal headcanon.

*Although I'm not sorry at all.

Comments

[Bumblebee Tuner]

I find it difficult to believe there are no other comments after 47 people have viewed this chapter... Oh well, Rather than call first I'll just question if the lycanstone has a status effect on the neko ken. I mean, surely turning Ranma into a small mostly harmless WTF creature would be fun for a few minutes, but a monster with the strength of (insert powerful being with attitude) and mind of a beast would be thrilling.

[MyWorld93]

Enjoying this immensely

[RTStephens]

6743895
I'm actually more curious as to what it might do to Trixie as she's the one that currently has it. Ultimate Unicorn, maybe?

I'm betting Ranma's bounty will be over 60 billion double bits before this all ends.

Edit: Crap, I realized too late I should have gone for the Trigun joke!

Nice to see Luna and Twilight finally getting some time to hunt down their quarry. Luna's gunho attitude is funny to see and contrasts nicely with Twilight's more cautious approach.

Poor Royal Guards. They rarely get to win.

And poor Rite. Knockout number two! Heh, I wonder if he and Swan Song will be taking turns getting their hides beaten. Better watch out Swan; you're next.

I did find it odd how Ranma just ups and asks Trixie if she can handle herself in a fight. I don't remember him doing that for Akane, although, Ranma probably has a good idea of just what Akane was capable of after their first spar. I don't know, it's just that Ranma's that kind of macho man that would rather the women he cares about don't get into fights at all.

But it was nice to see Trixie finishing a fight for once, even after admitting to her shortcomings. Heh, wonder if Ranma will get her to practice with him.

Nice going!

[Bumblebee Tuner]

6743953

Ranma certainly knows that Akane is "physically" capable of murder, but when it comes to an individual's personality more or less everyone is treated exactly the same.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/631550

[Kencolt]

And...
As ever...
Misunderstandings abound, insanity arises, and Discord is very very likely to be proven correct. Especially since Trixie assumes Ranma is only using physical power. When she realises that Ki and Magic are... well... kinda alike, she's gonna FREAK.

[Greatazuredragon]

Loved the chapter, lots of fun interactions, Trixie and Ranma 'bonding', Swan Song shenaningans and even a very good battle scene!
Awesome work, keep it up.

Also:

"What are you insinuating?" the unicorn asked, eyes narrowed.
"That being the center of attention is more important to you than your personal safety," the martial artist answered without hesitation.
"...... Trixie chooses not to dispute that," she replied evenly.

[SFaccountant]

6743895
I don't see why it would. The Lycanstone is largely a physical change; the neko-ken is entirely psychological. There's nothing about the magic transformation that would suggest it might trigger his phobia.

6743953
Ranma is the penultimate martial arts expert. After fighting Akane once, it seemed obvious he knew exactly where she stood in terms of combat skill. He often went out of his way to protect her - often against her wishes - because he knew when she was outmatched. On the few occasions that Akane is facing a threat she could handle, Ranma doesn't bother: recall the way he would simply watch as Akane plowed through her school's sports teams.
Trixie's art is fundamentally different from Ranma's, and she deliberately obfuscates the limits of her ability. There's also his role as her protector; where Akane was annoyed by Ranma's tendency to come to her rescue, Trixie openly expects it, which encourages him to take it much more seriously. This is like a real job to him.

[RTStephens]

6744546
That makes sense.

It's been a while since I tore myself away from the Ranma fandom and as such my memory on things is a little foggy. It doesn't help that my thoughts and opinions are more than likely clouded by all the fanfiction I used to read.

Ranma with an actual job. Now there's something we don't see often.

[Aziraphael]

Now I'm curious what happened to the other three Lunar Guards. At least one might be dead (though I don't know that this is really that kind of story), and I feel like Shade Stalker could end up that way in short order if someone doesn't keep the various nighttime predators from getting to her.

[MWKillKenny84]

Poooor Rite...

Any chance thta, next time he will try to use magic, he will manage to 'tag' Ranma... only to receive a Jusenkyo curse as a result of the backlash?

Vote: 10+++

[SFaccountant]

6744773
Eh, I feel like this is one of those stories where ponies can fall comatose in the middle of nowhere and you can just assume they'll make it home later.
I mean, that's what Luna does.

6745079
Hey, anything can happen!
(That won't happen, though.)

[RanmaChaos]

Another fantastic chapter. Great job.

[zooba]

I wonder what would Happen if Ranma encountered Poison Joke... It would be hilarious if he turned antro, but still have hooves for hands.

[SFaccountant]

6746251
That would be beyond even MY penchant for narrative cruelty.

[Emperor]

Coincidences abound upon coincidences. Just like regular Ranma 1/2 . If Luna ever finds out that she's been in Ranma's dreams all along and WHY they look so strange, she'll have a freak-out . Twilight, of course, is trying to be the reasonable authority figure at the end here, but unfortunately she took Celestia's lessons to heart far too much of sitting back and waiting for a potential disaster to occur. Next thing you know, she'll have her own apprentice who she'll delegate prevent-the-end-of-the-world tasks to

Let's see how long it takes before Trixie clues in that Ranma has more than just freak amounts of physical strength, but something that's rather like magic in its own way. If she's really good or Ranma gets frustrated with her enough to force some lessons on her, she might even pick up some of the martial arts. Besides, if we're going to get the romance part of this romcom, I can't see Ranma putting up with a pony who has no skill in martial arts whatsoever, no matter how fit she may be from pulling a cart around or magically intelligent.

Perhaps the best way to lead-in would be for Ranma to eventually meet Maud Pie just so he can see her 'Breaking Point' technique

[Winter Light]

I'll make this comment short.

The moment i saw the Ranma 1/2 Crossover in the info of the story, I knew this was going to be crazy.

And you have delivered so far. This is a very fun story to read. Keep it up, look forward for more!

I usually am not a fan of Trixie, but her interaction with Ranma is just glorious. So good!

[ShadeTail]

I am enjoying this story quite a bit, but it has a problem that is common to a lot of Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. You're writing Ranma as a confident adult rather than the awkward adolescent he really is. Basically, you've made a rather standard "badass human goes to Equestria and messes with everybody" fic and borrowed the name Ranma for the main character. And I *am* enjoying it, because it's a well-written example of that trope, but it's not really living up to its premise.

[SFaccountant]

6753629
Ranma Saotome, an awkward adolescent? Since when?
The only context in which Ranma experiences anything approaching typical teenage awkwardness is in regards to sex and romance. As soon as love is involved he starts panicking and just wants to avoid it entirely, which is the source of a good 75% of his problems in canon. That's not something he's had to deal with here (yet).
Beyond that, I contend that Ranma Saotome doesn't experience anything resembling teenage insecurity and/or awkwardness in canon. He's one of the most competent and powerful fighters in a region known primarily for martial artists. He doesn't especially care about his social status (although he does care somewhat about his "good guy" reputation). He doesn't worry about his future. He doesn't even care about being different, despite being extremely, legitimately different from every single other person he could possibly consider a peer. Even his gender-based insecurities are remarkably minor considering the guy turns female at an age and in a setting where that would drive most boys insane. Most of his days are spent fending off suitors, fighting rivals/monsters/idiots/Princes, saving people who honestly don't deserve it, or questing for a cure to his curse. Twilight Sparkle's adolescence was more typical than Ranma's, and she spent her childhood being tutored by a Sun Goddess.
Ranma has always been confident. That's such a strong aspect of his personality that he learned how to literally shoot his self-esteem at people. As for acting like "an adult" rather than "an adolescent", I can't really make much sense of that. Can you give an example?

[ShadeTail]

6755235

Ranma Saotome, an awkward adolescent? Since when?

Seriously? The entire series is loaded with big and small scenes showing his awkward interactions with people. I just now did a speed-read of the first third of the manga series to refresh my memory, and if anything, Ranma is even more awkward and unsocialized than I remembered. Anyone can push his buttons and knock him off his mental balance with little effort, he constantly offends people without realizing it, he talks himself into corners all the time, and as the icing on the cake he has absolutely no idea what to do with sex or romance.

Ranma is the very definition of an awkward teen whose ego is too big for his own good. The fact that he's actually quite level-headed and well-adjusted compared to most of the other major characters merely goes to show how utterly whacked out the rest of them are.

The bottom line is, you write him as way too confident and self-assured. A perfect example is when the dragonspawn showed up and demanded an apology. The real Ranma probably would have refused to apologize also, and for the same reason, but he would have been a lot more hot-headed and nervous under the pressure than how you wrote him (at least until the fight broke out).

[SFaccountant]

6755891
I think you and I have very different definitions of "awkward". Sure, Ranma doesn't communicate clearly or generally socialize with others, but I don't consider that on its own to be awkward; he has to exhibit some sort of exaggerated shame or embarrassment about his behavior or himself. Ranma does not. He barges into whatever situation is presented and just sort of feels his way through it, just like a confident (and thickheaded) adult. The grand exception, as I noted, is when romance gets involved. Then all the awkwardness and confusion is quite plain.
I also take issue with your specific contention that Ranma's social incompetence is related to his youth. Ranma is a borderline barbarian, born and raised, surrounded by idiots and psychotics and dealing with - to name but a few problems - literal, physical gender confusion, boys falling in love with his magical curse body, an arranged engagement to a girl who appears to loathe him, and people from his childhood dedicating their lives to destroying his for no good reason. These are problems that would challenge and unsettle anyone, regardless of their maturity, so when he seems flummoxed and frustrated I can't really chalk it up to typical teenage feelings, because he's not dealing with typical teenage problems.

I really don't understand where you're coming from with your example, either. He would've done the same thing when facing the dragonspawn, but been less sure of things? He didn't hesitate or act unsure when he fought the Orochi in canon (and that encounter required him to dress up as a girl as bait to save a guy he didn't even like). He acts hot-headed and tends to say the wrong things in canon, sure, but I feel that I've done justice to those aspects of his character.

I've been told that my version of Ranma here comes off as wiser and more intelligent than readers remember, so to your credit, I probably am making him out to be more mature than canon. In my defense, however, this is a post-canon Ranma with a full two years experience of having to live in Nerima among semi-civilized human beings. Additionally, Ranma has been flung into a magical wilderness inexplicably hostile to him in a strange, foreign land - also known as his entire childhood. As much as he wants to get back to Japan, Earth, he's more comfortable being hunted by sorcerers in the woods than he's ever been going to school.

[pchn00]

I'm really digging the story so far. Luna's written fabulously and all her scenes tend to make me smile. Rite and Swan are two of the better OC's I've read about in a while, can't wait to learn Rite's tragic backstory. XD Definitely enjoying the interaction with Ranma and Trixie. My only gripe is that Ranma seems pretty blase about the potential deaths of everyone he knows, particularly no mention for Akane. Other than that minor bit it's been a very enjoyable story so far. Looking forward more!

[SFaccountant]

6758749
It hasn't really had much focus so far, but he's still holding on to hope that everyone's still alive.
Remember, his current hypothesis is that he's on another planet surrounded by pony aliens. So he doesn't know what happened after he was trapped or even for how long he was trapped, and he has no particular reason to assume everyone isn't waiting for him to come back after a mysterious disappearance.
It's going to be so hilarious tragic when he learns the truth!

[Aatxe360]

Another hilarious chapter, thank you.

[ayh]

Whew! Finally got around to reading the new chapter and it was great! Swan and Rite continue to be fascinating and hilarious OC's, Ranma is in fine form here and Trixie's and his interactions make for a great buddy comedy. Luna, Twilight, and Spike are also shaping up to be another great comedy team.

The explanation on magic was interesting and I'm now curious to see what Trixie thinks when Ranma does a Mōko Takabisha. So if unicorns have a set amount of magic, but Ranma knows away to develop his Ki to create near magical blast like effects, maybe Trixie can start studying it to boost her own magical reserves? Of course her ego will keep her from being anyone's student, but then again being the first unicorn to boost their magic and thus becoming famous would also play on her ego. Too bad most martial arts are lost on her though. Things like the Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken would appear as just one really strong punch to her as it seems only skilled martial artists can see that it's actually hundreds of punches at once. Or would her familiarity with 'sleight of hoof' type magic make her eyes sharp enough to notice it?

Anyway, another fun read and I can't wait to see the next chapter!

[SFaccountant]

6778854
Whether or not Trixie can properly comprehend and analyze Ranma's techniques is rather besides the point.
Ranma represents the pinnacle of martial arts mastery for someone his age, having trained and conditioned his body since he was old enough to walk to the exclusion of nearly everything else. Everything he does (that isn't related to unfortunate magic) is an extension of his supernatural athleticism; the basic strength and dexterity of the human body dialed up to eleven, then twelve, and finally stopping depending on where the reader decides his "true limits" lie.
Trixie isn't anything like that. She's a stage magician. She's not even sold on the idea that she might need serious fighting prowess yet, much less that she should start devoting frankly fanatical time and effort to physical combat skills.
So the idea of Ranma training Trixie, or Trixie getting anything useful out of studying his techniques, is unlikely. Which isn't to say Trixie isn't going to learn new things or get stronger, but it certainly won't be Pony-Fu.

[ayh]

6780424 Knowing Trix will be getting stronger and learning things is great to hear. Just isn't Ranma unless someone gets some sort of power boost in a strange and convoluted way, preferably through some demented and down right stupid training method involving household items and/or food.

My theories as to how Trixie power ups:
Someone digs a pit full of spell books and ties Trixie in book markers. The only way for her to escape is to read her way out.

Trixie goes down the path of the Blue Mage(Final Fantasy Franchise), and needs to be repeatedly hit with spells from Swan Song in order to learn them.

Trixie is tied and set up to swing from a tree where she is repeatedly hit with spells until she can see the 'spell breaking point' and learns to blast spells apart with a touch.

She swallows the McGuffin stone and obtains the incredibly convenient ability to transform into an Ursa, similar to what the Lunar Guard use to transform.

With Ranma's suggestion, she stuffs fireworks powder in a tube and places a lead ball over it. Trixie re-invents the gun and becomes the first gun totting pony. She could also add bombs as well.

Trixie finally admits that she's a second rate magician abandons magic and takes up science. She then builds herself power armor.

Trixie never takes up martial arts but does start exercising her magic more. Every day she does 100 rock lifts with her levitation, 100 illusions, 100 fire spells, and then floats herself around for 10 kilometers until her mane falls off, becoming OP Trixie.

Taking another cue from Ranma's stories, Trixie uses magic to enchant her cape and hat and re-invents the magic equivalent of 'Hidden Weapons' technique, except with mallets instead of a training potty. She keeps her wagon around though and stuffs it with rocks because she likes having Ranma pull her along and doesn't want him to lose his edge.

With Twilight out of town, Trixie doubles back and breaks into Twilight's castle. And by break in I mean she walks in through the unlocked front door and steals all her stuff. Honestly, it's how Starlight Glimmer did it. Twilight's castle has zero security, unless you count Spike, in which case it is still zero security.

A whisker from Spike falls into her soup and her mane starts growing out of control and she becomes the next Mane-iac, except not completely evil. (Dragon whisker soup is a thing in the Ranma-verse)

Trixie gets locked in a wagon garage full of spare wheels overnight and learns wheel magic, the only thing on par with the cat fist.

Trixie learns the Royal Canterlot voice from Luna and soon finds that the sound of her voice is so great and powerful that she never shuts up ever again.

Anyway, this fic is great and love the comedy you bring to each character. Thank you and Happy New Year!

[SFaccountant]

6782590
Well!
Those are all much better ideas than what I'm going to do.
Huh...

[ayh]

6783092 ............. seriously?
Wow, thanks.

Now I'm REALLY curious to see how Trixie powers up.

[Comnislasher]

Okay, I only read very beginning of story but it's already look like something I search for a long time :). Yeah, there is others Ranma/MLP crossover but they in general failed in 'Ranma' part of cross. Ranma often just another of those cute pastel horsies who, like other pastel horsies, do 'cute things', when I actually wanted to see fights, wacky situation and typical Ranma-style misunderstandings.

And... According to cutie mark Ranma special talent is chaos? :)
UPD.
Read it all. Yeah, it how you do a proper Ranma/MLP crossover.

[Voltaje]

About time a proper ranma crossover, it would have been much better if another charecter from nerima survived too, probably rioga or shampoo, or shampoo's gradnmother, anyway, wonderful story man.

[SFaccountant]

6798725
Glad you like!
Ranma's special talent has yet to be explained directly, but "chaos" isn't far off. He sure tends to be at the center of everything going wrong, especially when he really shouldn't be.

6799622
Yeah, I kind of have a habit of ditching the rest of the Ranma cast whenever I do a Ranma fanfiction. For now I have plenty to do slowly introducing Ranma and Equestria to each other while also stringing along Rite's plot against Princess Celestia. I don't really feel like it would improve the story at this point to have grudges/crushes from X thousand years ago pop up to sideline the main story.
But hey, maybe later.

[Voltaje]

6800528 Yeah, for that to happend, Discord would need to do it, who else can? but that would bring problems, and make them somehow that one of them survive and wake up, would be really push the storyline and make it ridiculus, but whatever, mmm.. perhaps a puppet copy from Ranma's memorys brought to life by discord? or some eveil magic that Rites used to spy on Ranma and get to him, wow that has a lot of variables, well... I'm shutting up now

[SFaccountant]

6800564
Oh, I could think of plenty of ways to do it... if I wanted to do it.
For the sake of discussion, who would be your first choice of other character to drop into Equestria, and would they be ponified or not?

[Voltaje]

6800952 The first would be Shampoo, she would mess up Luna, and Song, and annoy Ranma too, and depending of how she ended up in equestria, she will be ponified at the beginning, or later on, but always get turn into a pony sooner or later; my second option would be haposai, I think Discord would love to bring him, a lot of chaos will occur if he appears, ponyfied at the beggining of course.

[Comnislasher]

I doubt that bringing in another NWC member could make this story any bit better. Ranma survival make sense story-wise, but another human from thousands (if not of tens of thousands) of years before kinda stretch it. Even if 'Discord did it'.
Oh, and Ranma already got one self-proclaimed fiancee :). So... Shampoo place already occupied :).

PS. It's only my opinion, of course.

PS2. Huh. There is Swan Song in the show. She one of Fancy Pants followers.

[Viddaric]

You should write more comedy. You're good at it.

[SFaccountant]

6806493
I don't really write any other genre...
Hell, even the grimdark sci-fi crossover thing I did is actually a comedy.

But thanks!

[John Tannius]

Jumping to conclusions must be an Olympic event in Nerima and Equestria.

[CitrusWishes]

6820189 You can bloody well say that again.

[Hidemain]

Aaaand twilight still can't think for herself... Is she still like this in show? To be honest I haven't really kept up I watched the season premier and the season finale that's pretty much all i paid attention to. But seriously she needs help or less help? What was celestia's teaching like to produce someone almost entirely incapable of making a decision on her own? And fear that the slightest upset of her teacher would actually get her sent to kindergarten?

[Bahamuttone]

A brown unicorn with a dark purple mane was trotting up the street, smiling brightly while a dragon baby sat on her back holding a paper scroll.

Way to keep a low profile...

[Sora2455]

"... and so the villainous mutant apes were defeated at last, and Equestria was finally safe. Our hero, the mysterious crimson stallion, returned to the time rift without delay, and was never seen again!" Rite paused to chuckle as he turned the page with his magic. "Alas, nopony knew the identity of this mysterious - and surprisingly terse - equine. Generations of unicorns studied the rift, but were unable to figure out to which era it might lead, or how to open it again. Surely the pony must be a fantastic and decorated warrior in his time, whoever he was, but as far as we know that time has not even happened yet, or has passed eons ago. The mystery may never be solved." With a satisfied smile, Rite closed the book.

Ah-ha! I get that joke! It was Big Mac in a one-panel visual gag!

"Rebel scum!" The batpony snarled as he hit the ground, snapping his head toward Rite. He was still up and mobile, although his wing was twitching painfully.

"Worthless pawn," Rite retorted calmly, a magic circle flickering into view on the ground around him.

"Willing minion!" Swan Song yelled, not wanting to be left out.

[the other sans]

but she coulnd't possibly match Trixie's cunning
It's aura isn't strong enough for the hiryuu shouten haa

1. Couldn't.
2. Its.

[MareDoVVell]

I’m beginning to think this story should have the subtitle “Chineighse Telephone”

[JOEBLACK]

Ranma hung his head and sighed as Trixie launched into a new lecture. Oh well. She's still pretty much the best traveling buddy I've ever had... which mostly goes to show what kind of complete losers I had to hang out with back on Earth. Still, I hope those unicorns come around for another attempt at stealing the MacGuffin Stone soon. I really have no idea how I'm going to find them otherwise.

You know, Ranma is not as stupid as everyone thinks. Like Goku he is in fact a hardworking genius. While he has to work hard for it, given enough time or motivation he can learn anything. Years of travelling with a lazy idiot has left him uneducated not stupid. There is a difference.

[New Rebellion]

Uuuuggghhhhh! This is getting annoying! How is that they are all falling into the same trap as Nariman where they just jump to assumptions and mindlessly follow them to the bitter end, never giving the victim (ie: Ranma) a chance to have a say and actually CLARIFY his side of the story!! It's so FRUSTRATING!!! It stands utterly against what FiM means and it's so typically Ranma-ish.

[Maelaeran]

10816685
Well considering that the world is Earth's future after it got torched, it could be said that the foundation for jumping to conclusions and other misunderstandings escalating to ludicrous proportions was always there. It just needed the right gender-shifting horse to bring it all to light!

[Pinklestia]

Discord must be laughing his ass off.

[Notrab M]

This story is definitely throwing me for a spin. The main "heroes" aren't very likable, the "villain" is understandable and downright sympathetic and all while being hilarious and well written!
Wait! That's just like your Warhammer series! Ha! Just figured that out! Thoroughly enjoying it though! This story is definitely going to be a blast!