Epilogue: Coltson Bugle
COLTSON BUGLE
PRINCESS SPARKLE FREED; REBELS FOILED! EVIL PONIES STILL AT LARGE!
Great relief was experienced by all ponies of Equestria yesterday as news broke that Princess Twilight Sparkle, the famous student of Princess Celestia herself, was delivered into the protection of the Canterlot Royal Guard yesterday evening and is now finally secure from her enemies.
The Princess was reported to be in disastrous condition, with severe burns, bruises, and numerous fractures. Initial tests, however, have revealed that Twilight Sparkle is expected to make a full recovery. Although royal medics have spent some time going over her injuries, the journalists from the Coltson Bugle were unable to obtain an interview with any connected hospital staff to get details as to what were the precise nature of her injuries or what the likely causes were.
The official spokespony of the Royal Guard has confirmed that Twilight Sparkle is being transferred to Canterlot, and was unable to give further details other than the listed summary of her condition. A prepared statement makes clear that the Princess was recovered in the forest North of our very own Coltson, but does not explain the circumstances of her discovery or give details as to what has been learned over the course of the Guard’s continued lockdown and reconnaissance of the city. Concerns for operational secrecy were cited, suggesting that the mission has not ended despite Princess Twilight Sparkle’s return. Individual soldiers interviewed have been likewise tight-lipped, and unwilling to speak off the record.
What we know is this:
Three days ago, the city was shocked to find Princess Luna assaulted by a mysterious redheaded pegasus just outside of town. Surprisingly, the combat was inconclusive, and it halted when a third pony announced Twilight Sparkle’s capture by rebel forces. Your correspondent broke that story, identifying the rogue mare as Calamity.
That very same day, the local barber shop of Sharp Shear was destroyed by a sudden explosion. The proprietor was largely unharmed physically, but when questioned by authorities he gave rambling, impossible testimony of a changeling asking for a haircut – quite the unlikely event! – blowing up, and then escaping with a pony it had referred to as “Mom.” Authorities are treating the story with extreme skepticism, especially as witnesses claim that a redheaded pegasus(!) was sighted fleeing the scene.
The next day, Coltson was subjected to a sudden, unexpected lockdown by a contingent of the Royal Guard led by General Firebrand. Requests for interviews were denied at the time.
Within hours of the Guard deploying within the city, a skirmish broke out in the Feed Bag Café, a hip, fun restaurant that will fill up your belly without emptying your wallet! Try their 6-bit deli sandwiches all next week as part of their “Repair the Gaping Hole in our Restaurant” summer sale! (Paid sponsorship) The skirmish was inconclusive, with both the Royal Guard and the rebel agents retreating from the encounter. Waiters taking refuge from the combat identified the resisting ponies as Swan Song and Havoc, two evil henchponies working for the rebel mastermind Blood Rite.
Hours later, word got out that General Firebrand himself had been incapacitated and rushed to the local hospital. No details were provided by the Guard, but rumors ran wild; not only had the rebels somehow captured Princess Twilight Sparkle, but it was clear that they had also overcome Canterlot’s mightiest Sorcerer General.
Mid-afternoon, the Royal Guard had finished locking down Coltson, restricting all traffic in or out of the city and establishing martial law. It was then that the city was visited by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna themselves. Again, the press was given very limited access, and told only that the Princesses would be assisting the Royal Guard.
That evening, the Royal Guard spokespony delivered a statement that confirmed Princess Sparkle had been recovered. At the time, no further details were provided.
Yesterday morning, it was reported by Safe Space, head of the local wagon and supply lockup center, that her business had been broken into and one of the wagons had been stolen from her establishment. Strict privacy concerns prevents her from naming the wagon’s owner or providing further details on the stolen goods. This doesn’t really have anything to do with the other events mentioned here and isn’t equivalent in importance, but it is worth noting that such a brazen crime occurred while the Royal Guard supposedly had the city locked down and secure.
As of this printing, none of the bounties for Blood Rite or ANY of his associates have been rescinded. As far as the authorities are concerned, those ponies are still at large and as dangerous as ever.
With the facts presented as they are, it is this professional journalist’s speculation that Princess Twilight Sparkle fought her way free of the rebels on her own terms. Given the panic of the rebels when faced with a deluge of Canterlot soldiers and the damage that they must have suffered in fending off General Firebrand, it is entirely plausible that the Element of Magic found a weakness and exploited it, managing to get away from her captors but suffering severe harm in the process. The rebels, facing the prospect of an invasion from the Royal Guard headed by the Royal Sisters themselves, were forced to let their hostage go and focus on evading capture as the brave, noble ponies of the Equestrian military turned over every rock and shook every tree in search of them.
Whether or not our guess is correct, we can rest assured that, with the return of Princess Twilight Sparkle, the balance of power has tilted back in favor of our beloved royal order and away from the craven rebels. Yet Equestria cannot rest until these base thugs and each and every pony connected to them has been brought to justice. The search for the rebel warriors, however, seems to be missing an important element: to date, no official bounty has been put in place for the pegasus mare Calamity.
Given what we know, it seems only too obvious that the mare is yet another rebel agent. Were her battle against an Equestrian Princess not enough proof, the timing of her combat seemed calculated to allow her partners to swoop in and capture Princess Twilight Sparkle. It has also been noted that she bears an uncanny resemblance to the mysterious earth pony Havoc, to the point of having an identical cutie mark. A twin sibling, perhaps? A magic disguise? Or could it be something darker, such as a magical clone? With the enemy being an accomplished sorcerer, the possibilities are truly endless.
One thing is for certain, though: Calamity is a great danger to innocent ponies, and in all likelihood another cornerstone of Blood Rite’s plan to overthrow our sacred diarchy and spread anarchy across the land. This paper calls for the authorities to add this criminal to the public listing of approved bounties so that she may be captured and called upon to account for her actions against the state. Only once ALL these cruel, violent insurgents are brought to heel will Equestria ever be truly safe again.
This has been Brassy Bugle, signing off.
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Heh, the story got away from ya a little bit, eh? Happens.
I love the speculation throughout this article. Some of it is right while some of it is way off. Such is the journalism business, reporting what you know.
Not impressed with this dragon prince yet. Perhaps he'll transition to a proper villain but I've got a hunch that a well-timed Hiyru Shoten Ha to the face will take him out nicely. From your description, he doesn't sound any bigger than the dragon in "Dragonshy". Now if we were talkin' Torch levels big, then I'd be more intimidated.
Anyway, looking forward to the next story!
Brassy Bugle sounds like J. J. Jameson and probably his IQ as well. Hopefully somepony will correct this travesty before Ranma beats the crap out of ponies trying to arresting him.
7665790
Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed about the dragon prince. I waited too long to deal with him, and then discarded him basically as a gag.
He's going to play a much more prominent role in the next arc, but I feel like I mishandled his introduction this time around.
OH WELL
7665794
JAMESON DID NOTHING WRONG
Did we ever get a name for the pony interviewing Rarity back in the Saddle Rec Review? Because I'm headcannoning him and this guy as the same pony.
7665794 I agree with the Jameson similarity, but I believe Brassy Bugle's slant is more the product of sensationalism and laziness than actually being dimwitted.
- I do agree that the princesses could at least put out a statement clearing Ranma of involvement with Rite's plan. As for the other crimes (theft, assault, arson, etc.) The princesses could just decline to comment as they honestly wouldn't know how to explain those. Ranma would still have trouble but not be put forward for being a traitor/rebel of Equestria as a whole.
Great chapter. Will Brassy Bugle become Ranma's very own Jonah Jameson?
Looks like I was right several chapters back about Twilight Sparkle receiving all the credit...well, at least from one newspaper, in any case. Let's see if she admits that she basically did nothing (and even if she did, if others actually believe her or just think she's being modest).
Though Trixie and Ranma now have the MacGuffin Stone. No idea if Blood Rite will try to get it back, but Ranma HOPEFULLY isn't so stupid again as to take it out of his hammerspace again in the future.
Haven't had a chance to read the last chapter and epiloge yet, a job and all the good tv on and everything else on the internet doesn't leave a lot of time for a 20,000 word beast( as much as I love big chapters). But I'm sure it was a great end to this part of the story.
7665860
Yeah, well, everyone knows it wasn't anything spiderman did wrong it was that Garfield character that ruined his good name, that lazy cat down at the old Arbuckle place was webbed to JJs windshield one morning and clawed the editor something fierce when he attempted to rescue the poor devil.
Honestly I'm kind of hoping that in the end Spike comes in and dressed everyone down for how stupid they're being.
Spike: OK, first off almost everyone here is an idiot and wrong, yes that means you Princess Celestia. You are all so god damn stupid that I can't believe me managed to come out on top of a situation you basically allowed to get this far. I have been trying to warn you guys for months now, but does anyone listen to me? NO! So shut the fuck up, sit your asses down, and I swear if any of you interject while I'm speaking I will end this world! Any comments?!?! NO?! GOOD!!!!! Now, let me explain EVERYTHING FROM THE BEGINNING to clear things up...
Mostly because Spike is the only one who knows the whole story and is a third party.
7666025
Probably not. I expect to use a different paper and journalist to close up the next arc, but I like this way of finishing up each story: with a newspaper clipping explaining how the public perceives Ranma's acts of selfless heroism.
7665919
The problem being, of course, that they think there's some other pony who looks exactly like Ranma who IS evil. Maybe two of them!
7666343
Ranma will surely display the good sense and strategic forethought that has always characterized his adventures!
So expect him to try to pawn it for food scraps as soon as possible.
7666790
(Raucous laughter)
7665633 Think your "Kamikazan" character, make him racist against anything that has not wings on hir back, and to have fun with him... have the Elements seal away his immense fire-based powers but NOT the immortality/hyper regeneration, so to transform him into the perfect punching bag for Ranma and voilà, you shall be able to use him!
Omce again an amazing story. I'' glad you ended up doing the book format again for this series, as not only does it break the aeries into somewhat isolated atories with building interconnectivity but as i had mentioned at one point before it greatly fits the rising falling and leveling out tension that Ranma 1/2 is known for. Keep up the great work, ypu continue to be my favorire author on the site.
7668564
Plus I get to come up with another cool title name and commission image!
I have to ask, why didnt Ranma and Trixie take the time to actually TALK to Celestia and Luna about what had happened up to that point, it would have been the perfect chance.
7669372
My best guess? Ranma doesn't care and Trixie has realized that in any situation where Ranma needs to explain something, the worst possible scenario is most likely going to occur.
7668956 Ah. Well, that just means I have more to look forward to in the future!
7669372
Because actually explaining the situation would have been long, awkward, and probably still would have ended with him in jail. Plus, Celestia clearly expected him to give up the MacGuffin Stone. Running away was easier.
In addition, you must understand Ranma's point of view: to him Equestria is not a benevolent kingdom chasing him over a misunderstanding. They look more like an evil empire that controls its people by saying their ruler controls the sun. He has absolutely no reason to believe that Equestria will act in good faith, even if there weren't perfectly good reasons to imprison him (which there are).
any idea when the next arc is going up. i ask just because my follow feature is kind of buggy and unreliable and i dont want to miss it.
Hmm...perhaps the sequel can include Ranma getting into a fight with Maud Pie
7671176
I don't see him lasting more than an hour around Limestone.
7670338
Not at all, no.
When it comes up I'll make a blog post so that everyone who has Home favorited will be notified, though.
I really enjoyed this story. It could use more Applejack, but that's probably just me. Looking forward to more of your writing in the future!
7686820
I apologize for the Apple deficiency. Inevitable, given the plot direction, but still a gaping flaw in the narrative.
Just finished reading this. I was a huge Ranma 1/2 fan back in the day, so I was pretty excited when I saw this randomly. Overall, I do like your fic. I think you portray Ranma really well. There was a tendency to make Ranma this really noble, selfless person at the heyday of Ranma 1/2 fanfiction, but in the manga he's kinda a jerk at times. Especially when he's with Genma. I love that your Ranma is kinda a jerk! And the chemistry between Trixie and Ranma is very interesting to read. In fact, your fic kinda stalls and is boring until Trixie shows up.
I do think the tone is a little all over the place. Starting off your "lighthearted" fic with mass genocide, and playing it off as humor was really weird to read. Having something called a MacGuffin Stone was funny at first, and I was expecting humor all the way, but your fic does both humor and it also takes itself seriously with some drama. The tone suffered because of this.
Anyways, I hope you do write more of this, because like I said, your Trixie/Ranma chemistry is very interesting to read and the highlight of this fic.
Final got to read the last two chapters. Like I thought, you did a great job. I look forward to the continuing adventures of pony Ranma.
7691615
7692497
Thanks!
Next part coming soon(ish).
7691199
I often have tone problems. The comedy bleeds into everything, even when I'm trying to get the reader to take the drama seriously. Since I don't take it seriously either, it suffers
Thanks for the critique!
Wow, can't believe I missed this before! But it was a great read and while the dragon prince showing up at the last second, after just a few minor references were made way back, was a bit out of left field you managed to take everything we expected to see and turn it on its head. Huge fight with a giant dragon? Nope, this is Ranma, why should anything work the way it's supposed to. And you did bring up a great point on how Ranma wouldn't have any reason at all to trust Celestia after all the wanted posters, crooked mayor's working under her, and guards that keep attacking first, second, third, and only asking questions after they've recovered from being knocked out. In his eyes she probably looks like a crazy tyrant who even tells everyone she controls the sun.
Really hope that the misunderstanding is cleared up eventually as I'm sure there will be many more to take it's place in due time.
This was a real treat to read and I can't wait to see more. Hope Swan Song did live, poor little psycho pony only wanted to be rutted till she couldn't walk by the alien monkey thing that she transformed and tried to kill repeatedly under her bosses orders. And then fired by said boss just because she led the enemy forces (Trixie) and the alien monkey thing to their super secret hideout right at the worst possible moment, unleashed a dragon prince thing, blew up her bosses library, showed how to disable all the tower traps, went out in public and attracted the royal guard.... It's not like Blood has any other ponies showing up to work for him. Maybe she could have gotten stuck on one of Kamikaze's scales when he busted out and offers to work for him now.
The big baby was even less of a challenge than Kuno and seems like the type to use underlings to do all his work anyway. Can't imagine any real dragons wanting to work for him after he's been gone for so long. All his stuff probably got divided up centuries ago.
Thank you so much for the wild romp though Equestria with everyone's now transformed pony/Pegasus martial artist aqua-transsexual.
7704033
Swan Song DID have a pretty good run, didn't she? It's not everyone who manages to enable the Big Bad's evil scheme and accidentally ruin it as well.
And Ranma's criminal record may be under closer observance in the sequel... but justice can be complicated, you know?
Good stuff!
I'll be patiently waiting for the next part!
Just a reminder: fimfic's "notify of new sequels" functionality is broken, so you'll want to make either a tagged blog post or post a new chapter on this with a oneshot sidestory and the link in an author's note to get people's attention when the sequel comes out. (Posting chapters purely for announcement purposes being against site rules.)
Just a little prediction for the future.
Twilight tries to study the magic of Ranma's curse and through her new princess connections is able to acquire an ultra rare vial of Jusenkyo water. Shenanigans ensue and Spike ends up being splashed with spring of drowned girl and ends up an exact clone of Shampoo with fighting style included. So he can now go from puny baby dragon to towering monkey mutant thing that can smash through walls and jump multistory buildings in a single bound. He then promptly goes out to get back at Trixie with his awesome new 'monster' form. Eventually the two form a grudging friendship and team up to save Ranma from the wacky/dangerous scenario of the week.
Fun fact, Spike's voice actress is the same as Shampoo's American dub voice actress. That and RTStephan's avatar needs to happen in the story.
Just found out Ukyo and Starlight Glimmer share a voice actress as well. Nor surprising though as a lot of the Ranma voice cast did an excellent job that they would be in a variety of other shows and continue to work to this day.
That ending felt kind of empty. I know the creator of Ranma was a fan of status quo, but it was painful. Like, I just have a hard time...I can't laugh at it. its just too much. For the end of an arc nothing was truly resolved.
7841157
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/254038/1/the-dragon-kings-rebirth/chapter-1-zerileth
I imagine the dragon is doing something like this at the moment.
Just finished. It was surprisingly good, I must admit. When I first seen this fic I thought “What, Ranma? Who cares, do more Warhammer”. I don't care much about Ranma (I’ve read manga something about fifteen years ago and forgot almost everything about it since then) and I'm not a fan of “hero in another world” fics in general.
But still, I liked this fic. I like your style, I like your humor, I like how you can keep characters in character (a feat that eludes many other fanfic writers). Ranma himself felt a bit like a MarySue at first, but later that feeling passed. So even with my initial skepticism I got invested at some point. Waiting for the next book now. Thumbs up!
7893074
Thank ye much!
Glad I was able to defeat your skepticism!
their guards use circular logic, the press are complete morons and the only people who know what they are doing are the anti-heroes. Damn good story, cant wait for the sequel
7962040
Well, there's also Spike, but nopony listens to him
Glad you enjoyed!
7962433 thats true and very sad
7991280
It's probably not a secret at this point, but I usually write up villains that I secretly agree with.
7993471 Not to mention how everypony takes this whole 'destiny' thing for granted, not even realizing how judgemental they are of somepony they never met based entirely on their name. Ironically making them even worse judgemental biggots than humans can be. A complete 180 from the popular interpretation of ponies in other -- absolutely horrendous -- HIE stories. Truly, this is some top-notch satire (also parody) of My Little Pony.
7993500
Oh, and I'm honestly suprised you never made an,
Unlike Iron Hearts, I have a feeling that Equestria would be better off if Rite won. In terms of motivations for coops, his is pretty benevolent. Fixing the solar system, freeing millions of brainwashed ponies from a fate worse than death. I'd say he's not a villain, but a true hero. I also have a feeling that this was exactly your plan all along, to have us sympathize with Rite as he's obviously, well, right.
"I'm Rite"
"No, you're wrong!"
back and forth pun based on his name. Seemed like such low-hanging fruit.
Oh, and fun little tidbit: every single story of yours I've read is a crossover of something I have never even heard of before. No joke. It was a fluke that I even gave Iron Hearts a chance. Now, years later (yesterday, in fact), I started reading this story based entirely on the fact that it was written by you. I had never heard of Ranma 0.5, had no true interest in the premise of your story, and a cursory google search of Ranma 0.5 only confused me further. So, I just decided to say, "fuck it, SFaccountant wrote it, so it must be good". It exceeded all my expectations. I haven't laughed this hard while reading a fanfic since reading your Iron Hearts stories. I've also come to the conclusion that no one else but you could have pulled off this plot. I enjoy your writing, truly do, and it's your writing style that pulls everything together.
Anyway, my point is that you're an outstanding writer and can turn the most ridiculous premises in pure gold. And this is coming from someone who absolutely despises it when misunderstandings drive a plot, so you must have done something right.
PS: I want to read the sequel, but I'm honestly putting it off because 30,000 words will go by soo fast!
7993795
SFaccountant: best fluke ever
It helps that I basically scrub out Ranma World from the beginning and focus entirely on "martial artist loose in Equestria." Frankly, even if you picked up nothing from the Google search, that just means you'd learn about him at the same pace as all the other characters. I know which fandom I'm running with, here.
Really though, I'm delighted you appreciate the subtle social commentary. "Insightful political satire of a fictional social premise" is rare praise indeed.
Okay... First of all - I'm a long time Ranma fan and avid Ranma fics reader. At beginning I really like this fics but...
There is two major problems I have with it (well, also one or two minor one but they not important):
1) Staggering stupidity. Almost everyone is outright stupid. Yeah, I know that it's a comedy but it kinda like repeating same joke over and over again - after some time it cease to being funny.
But I think that case one directly connected to second case:
2) You take usual Ranma insanity and put it "up to eleven" without any stops or respite. Even "Ranma" itself sometime put a slice of life chapters and less 'crazy' chapters.
But here is everything that can go wrong - go wrong. Every crazy shit that can happen - happen. After some time it's become rather repetive and tiring.
In the end while I read "Home is Where Your Curse is" to the end I not sure if I going to read second arc.
Sorry if I offended you.
I was expecting a higher bounty on 'Havoc.' I also like what you did with Calamity "probably a good idea"
I can only say that with the mention of a dragon prince I really expected some mention of Herb (the character from R 1/2). Otherwise a fairly good read. Strange only two characters attracted to Ranma though. In a reflection of the Ranma story line I almost expect to see Blueblood show up somewhere chasing after Ranma's female form.
8054901 I'm pretty sure the writers didn't think this through as much as you did. It's just fun to pretend, as in headcanon, that they are stuck with whatever they are destined. And sometimes it's fun to pretend they have control. It's all circumstantial, and this story happens to take the former route.
8055410
I'm pretty sure that along the way authors just change how cutie marks work (well, that or they never actually though how exactly they work). Because in season five we learn that some ponies, like DT, don't even know what they cutie mark mean. And it possible to work against your cute mark like, again, DT who suck at being a leader till "Raiders of Lost Mark" and Coloratura. And this whole CMC consulting business where ponies go to them to consult about what their cutie mark means and what they supposed to do with them.
Kinda don't mesh very well with "what my cutie mark telling me".
8055579
That they do. When it comes to technical details, fanfic authors change many things from the show to fit their stories. And with how inconsistent the show is, they kind of have to. It's easy for the show writers to accidently create scenarios in their fictional world where various explanations contradict each other, so fanfiction authors have to try their best to come up with fixes for said contradictions and fill in the gaps. Cutie marks are riff with logical problems that have no solutions, so certain apsects have to be tweaked or exaggerated to get something that logically works. This is where headcanon comes in.
In short, no fanfiction is 100% canon. No biggy.
8055602
MLP problems stemed from a fact that show have lots of different episode writers who have their own interpretations of characters, situations and world. So fic writers could easily stuck in situations when they either need to write really complex explanations or just throw some things away.