Chapter 3 Reactions and Pinkie Promises... Oh, and The Fourth Wall
Reactions and Pinkie Promises... Oh, and The Fourth wall
"Sooo..." Spike began as he placed the last of the tools he and Trixie, his new apprentice (much as the blue unicorn hated the title), would need for Twilight's monthly Maintenance on the table next to the lavender construct, "what now?"
The mechanical mare simply glanced at the spread with a nod for her favorite dragon before answering, "That's an easy one. We do a flashback so everyone's on the same page."
"Finally going to break The Fourth Wall?" The purple hatchling questioned, scratching his spines, "I don't know... It seems a little late to do that..."
"It wouldn't have fit if we tried sooner," the mare sighed.
The drake gave her a flat look. "It's Maintenance Day, Twilight," he deadpanned. "How could it have not fit in a month?"
"Time skip," was the simple response.
Trixie rolled her grey-violet eyes. "The Mechanical Genius Trixie still doesn't understand all this talk of 'flashbacks,' 'fourth walls' and 'time skips'..."
The draconic mechanic and the six million bit mare both jumped at the reminder that they weren't alone in the basement-lab, getting another eye-roll and a muttered "I'm not THAT forgettable," from the azure mare.
"Sorry, Trixie," Twilight responded. "It's just that, well..." she trailed off.
Spike picked up the slack, "The only way to understand what we're talking about is to experience it yourself, and you've seen what that's done to Screw Loose."
The lavender machine shot a dark look as best she could at the pint-sized drake unscrewing her head. However, before she could admonish him for his lack of tact, a familiar bubbly pink voice cut in from the door to the basement-lab they were in.
"Twilight, I brought the girls so you could tell them your secret like you promised you would. I also brought strawberry shortcakes for everypony. Ooooohhhhhh, that sounds like a good idea for a cartoon! Maybe it could be a slice-of-life comedy about a filly that lives in a ginormous shortcake and..."
As Pinkie went off on a tangent, Trixie started to worry. Sure, Twilight's friends had, reluctantly, accepted that the ex-showmare was staying at the library, but if they saw her now, with the purple unicorn already being taken apart, things would most likely end very badly.
Twilight's state of mind wasn't much better. Yes, she had everything she needed already prepared, including diagrams and a ten-page speech/rant/lecture, but she had left it all up in her room, thinking she wouldn't need it until later in the day. Needless to say, an unprepared equidroid was a very nervous equidroid.
Now, Spike's reaction was the most interesting. Normally in this situation, he would be panicking even worse than the two nearby mares. However, when he saw both unicorns start to freak out, a little used part of his mind kicked into overdrive. In Canterlot, it was well known that a calm Spike and a panicky unicorn normally meant trouble, usually from or for the unicorn in question. It was equally well known that such matters were better left to said dragon. Thus, Spike took charge.
"Trixie, get over here and help me hook up Twilight. Twilight, focus. You need to use that new system we've been installing in the table upstairs. Can you do that for me?" At the lavender mage's hesitant almost-nod (as a real nod was difficult without a body), the wyrmling continued, "Good, I'll get the stuff for your presentation as soon as we're done hooking you up."
As soon as they were done, the young drake went upstairs only to find the party pony still rambling in the doorway, "...and I said 'Oatmeal? Are you cra-'"
It was amazing just how quickly a serious dragon, even one as young as Spike, could get even Pinkie to shut up with but a glance, probably had something to do with the fact they could breathe fire. "Go take a seat around the table while I get Twilight's notes," he told the group.
He took a step or two and paused for just a moment before turning back to the stairs, "Trixie, could you start a pot of tea? And grab me a piece of pumice while you're at it." With that, he continued on his way, mumbling about how it was a good the requested rock worked like aspirin for dragons.
Rarity was the first to break out of the stunned silence. "Well, I never knew Spike could take charge like that," she blushed, "Perhaps we should do as he asked?"
With various murmurs of agreement, they took their seats as Trixie made her way from the lab to the kitchen in a daze.
Once everypony was seated with a cup of tea close at hoof, Trixie went back down stairs to begin the monthly maintenance Twilight need. Spike followed soon after, leaving the notes and diagrams with Pinkie.
Just as the silence became unbearable, a slightly transparent, and much smaller, copy of a purple mare they all knew appeared before the wooden replica of the famous Bust of the Unknown Pony.
The Mini-Sparkle looked up at the gathered ponies, muttered something about adjusting the scale, shook her head as if clearing her thoughts, and began to speak, "You're all probably wondering why I asked you to come here... PINKIE! DON'T POKE AT MY VOLUMETRIC DISPLAY!"
---Magi-Tech---
"...So, any questions?" At some point during the explanation, the micro-pony had faded and been replaced by the real deal.
Applejack stood up and marched out the door.
"Yer lucky I Pinkie Promised not ta tell anypony," she spat without looking back.
With those parting words, the farmer slammed the door with enough force to knock some books off the nearby shelves.
The silence that followed was deafening... for all of ten seconds before Rainbow Dash, somewhat subdued, spoke up, "I... I need some time to think about this..." Unlike the mare before her, the weather pony walked out, not even bothering to close the door, and took flight.
Fluttershy was torn, unsure whether or not she should stay to comfort the artificial pony. The soft-spoken pegasus was startled by a gentle hoof on her shoulder.
"Go on, Fluttershy," the faux unicorn urged, "she needs you more than I do."
Needing no further goading, the pastel maned pegasus smiled a small smile, and floated after her more colorful friend.
Rarity got up, and gave Twilight a brief, but comforting, hug. "Don't worry darling, I'll go to Sweet Apple Acres in the morning to talk to Applejack. I'm sure she'll come around." She reluctantly left, she still had to take care of Sweetie Bell, after all.
When Spike and Trixie returned from cleaning the lab and kitchen, respectively, they saw Twilight with her head on the table, silently crying, and Pinkie patting her on the back in an awkward attempt to comfort her. Their collective thoughts could be summed up in eight words: "There's not enough ice cream in the world..."
To Be Continued...
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holy cow it updated
the chapters are kinda all over the place but other wise its awesome
This seems kind of a non-sequiter, but I sorta forgot what happened earlier.
an interesting idea. I'll see if it develops into something.
Who would have thought that Twilight Sparkle would a Robot, VERY Intrigueing. LOL!
1180629 Well SOMEONE had to do it
1180637 I was working in a similar concept... althought a little more militarized, and this fic kind of reminds me a comment talk I've did with Patrosion on deviantArt, You're doing a Great Job with this fic
1180775 Well, don't let me stop you, I would certainly read it
1180637 Don't u mean "SOMEPONY" had to do it? ;)
1181503 That wasn't said in story.
Therefore, I can say it however I want.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png
1183767 Sorry My Bad :)
cool... want moar please?
i believe my feelings towards this story can be summed up with one word: MOAR!
Finally got around to reading this, and I gotta say, I like it. Interesting concept, rather different direction than I took from a similar source of inspiration (that picture by tsitra is badass, ain't it?), and your execution is pretty good so far.
A couple suggestions: do a quick grammar/spelling check on what you've got so far, just to clean things up a bit. As others have said, the first two chapters can easily be made into one chapter, and I think they would flow better. Also, "coolant/antifreeze" doesn't really work as a spoken thing. I'd recommend picking one or the other, probably the former - people'll get what you mean!
Biggest one ... you skip over her explanation of things to the other ponies and we don't really get that much of their reaction to Twilight being what she is. Their overall reactions are somewhat understandable but still come off as being somewhat unsupported, which you could fix in the following chapters, certainly, but really I'd be interested in seeing their initial reactions to, well, everything. Expressions, exclamations of concern; these things interest me.
All that aside, man, I LIKE it. Keep going.
1502634 Consider the coolant fixed. The rest, at this point, shall wait until chapter 4 is out, but will get done or I'm not Grtgfbll!!!!
I'm a sucker for stories like this, in which a character becomes or turns out to be something else. I like this.
However, I'm not too confident in your ability to finish this. Looking at the update dates of your chapters, I see a pattern very similar to my own. I have never, ever been able to finish writing a multi-chapter fanfic, despite having plenty of time to do so.
I would greatly appreciate it if you would hurry up and prove me wrong.
1502689relly edd
2167127 Just one d little brother.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Derpy_dealwithit.png
2170237yes he is my older brouther...
1180629you forgot (be) insted of just a... Ok?
2199672 Try to save that for the story, brat-boy.
2200620 blae
2661643 just fixin' the most common complaint 'bout the first two chaps, nothin' to get excited about (yet
)