• Published 28th Jul 2015
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My Little Fonzie - No One and Nobody



Happy Days meets My Little Pony. Another big joke with somewhat of a plot this time.

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Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Pinkie Decks the Hall… Too Much!

“Well Twilight,” Spike said as they walked down the hall towards the main room, “It looks like the party is all set up and should go off without a hitch.”

“Let’s hope so Spike,” Twilight said as she opened the door of the main room.

Whatever she had planned to say next vanished from her mind in that second.

The entire hall was… well, decked. Streamers hung from every conceivable place and confetti littered the ground like grass in Ponyville Park. The lower canopy of balloons was so thick that Twilight couldn’t even see the pony behind the disaster.

“PINKIE!!!!!”

“Yes Twilight?” said an innocent looking pink mare, who was busy trying to find an undecked crevice to deck.

“WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?!?!?!” Twilight screamed at the top of her Royal Canterlot Voice, “Don’t you ever know when to stop?!?!?!?!”

“Well Richie was so interested in my party cannon I just kept deckin’ the halls and deckin’ the halls which is a shame cause I know the Halls and they are really nice ponies.”

“The Halls? Pinkie, what are you talking about?”

“The Halls. They’re architect ponies I know. Let’s see there’s Long Hall and Grand Hall and Royal Hall and then there’s Dr. Hall, he’s the weird one in the family. Went into medicine. Invented the first throat lozenge.”

“Pinkie!” interrupted Twilight, “Stay on subject, please.”

“I am staying on subject. You asked me about my friends the Halls and wait a sec… Oh silly Pinkie, you weren’t asking me about the Halls. You were asking me why I’m decking the halls.”

“Yes,” Twilight said, regaining her composure, “Now just answer my question. Why didn’t you stop?”

“Because it’s really fun… Duh?”

“PINKIE!!!” Twilight said, her temper rising again.

Luckily for the both of them Applejack came galloping in, interrupting their disagreement.

“Whoa Nellie,” she said as she stared at the room in awe, “What happened here?”

“Oh Twilight told me to decorate and I did,” Pinkie said with an innocent smile on her bubblegum-colored face.

“I think you might have overdone it by just a hair,” Applejack said, smiling at Pinkie.

“You think? Awww, that means I have to take some down. I worked soooooooooooooooooo hard decorating this place.”

“Here’s an idea,” AJ said, thinking aloud, “Why not just move the decorations instead of takin’ ‘em down. I mean, you’ll have to decorate the other rooms too won’t ya’? Well, just move these decorations to those rooms and yer problem is solved.”

“That’s a great idea Applejack,” Twilight said, “But what brought you here in the first place?”

“I heard you yellin’ like a crazed timberwolf and I knew something was wrong. Looks like I was right on the money.”

“Yeah you were. Thanks AJ,” Twilight said. Then, turning to Pinkie she continued, “Now Pinkie, I’ll help you move these decorations.”

“That sounds terrific, I’ll get Richie and Ralph to help.”

“Where are Richie and Ralph anyway?”

“They’re somewhere in here. They gotta be. RIIICCCHHHHIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLPPPHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Come on out you guys!”

Twilight heard muffled yells coming from a pile of balloons. Applejack and Twilight ran over and started digging through the pile. After a minute of tunneling, they finally unearthed a quaking Richie and a terrified Ralph.

“Let me get this straight,” Spike said, feeling slightly bewildered, “You guys were pinned under balloons? I thought they weigh virtually nothing.”

“You try being buried under five-thousand of them,” Ralph said, scrambling out of the pile of balloons, “Five-thousand nothings weigh something.”

“Well, let’s get to it,” Pinkie said.

Applejack nodded and headed back for the kitchen while Ralph, Richie, Twilight Sparkle, Spike and Pinkie began transporting decorations to the other rooms.


“Well,” said Twilight, wiping a hoof across her brow, “That just about takes care of it.”

“It sure does,” Pinkie said, smiling, “Thanks for the help. Now all that’s left is to wait a whole day.”

“Well why don’t we show our new friends around Canterlot?” Twilight suggested.

“Okie-dokey-lokie. Come on guys,” Pinkie said, hopping out of the room.

They left the room and headed down the hall. As they walked down, Twilight explained the stained-glass windows.

“That stained-glass window depicts the time my friends and I beat the evil Tyrek and that one is when we beat Nightmare Moon. This one is the time my brother Shining Armor and his wife Cadence beat the Changeling army.”

“Wow you sure beat a lot of villains here, don’t you?” Richie noted.

“Yeppie-deppie,” said Pinkie, hopping beside Twilight, “It’s Dashie’s second favorite thing to do.”

They exited the castle and walked out onto the streets of Canterlot.

“Where should we go first?” Twilight queried, “How about the Star Swirl the Bearded wing of the Canterlot library? That’s where I spent most of my time when I lived here.”

“A library huh?” Richie asked, “Well that sounds… uh that sounds…”

“Boring?” Ralph suggested.

“Boring?!” spluttered Twilight, shocked, “He was one of the most influential conjurers on the pre-classical era. It isn’t just anypony who defeated the infamous Sirens.”

“Let’s face it Twilight,” Pinkie said, putting a hoof on her friend’s shoulder, “They don’t want to see a room full of dusty old books. I know, let’s go to Donut Joe’s Donut shop! I’ll treat!”

All the ponies but Twilight nodded their heads and they headed down the street towards the donut shop.

Twilight followed a ways behind muttering something like, “How can they show so much disrespect to pony history? Where would we be now without Star Swirl the Bearded?”


“Garson,” yelled Pinkie as she slammed the door open, “Your finest table please.”

With that, she happily hopped over to the counter.

“Five of your sprinkly-est donuts please Joe,” she said smiling, then she turned to her friends and said, “What would you guys like?”

After taking the group’s order Joe grabbed the donuts and handed them to Pinkie.

“How much do I owe ya’ Joe?” Pinkie asked.

“On the house,” Joe said, smiling, “After all, you didn’t let me pay you for that super party you threw me last year.”

“Thanks Joe,” said Pinkie.

They took their donuts and walked over to a booth.

“These are fantastic!” said Ralph through a mouthful of donut.

“Donut Joe uses only the best hay in his donuts,” Pinkie said, polishing off her second donut.

Richie and Ralph stopped eating, mid-chew and promptly spat out the contents onto the table.

“What’s the matter?” Pinkie said with an oblivious look on her face, “I thought you liked them.”

“We don’t normally eat hay,” said Richie, trying to be polite.

“I hear you,” Spike said, sprinkles all over his face, “Don’t get me wrong, hay is alright but would it kill them to offer some jewels?”

Ralph put a hoof on his jaw as if he had a toothache. He mouthed the word, ‘Oww’.

Twilight, who sat on the end of the booth with a cup of tea, said, “Pinkie, I don’t think they eat the same food we do.”

“You could say that,” Richie said staring at the mess of hay on the table.

Pinkie finished off her fifth donut and grabbed a rag to clean up the mess on the table. After it was clean enough to see your reflection she suggested they go out into the forest on a nature hike.


The only way out to the forest was on a farm avenue. As the group trotted down the road, Ralph spotted a cow grazing in a field.

“Hey Richie,” he whispered to his friend, “Do you think that they talk too?”

Richie didn’t acknowledge his friend and never noticed when he stepped off the path towards the field.

Ralph squeezed under the fence rail and tip-hooved up to the sleeping cow. When he was a few feet away he tripped on his front hooves and rolled head over hooves into the back legs of the cow, knocking them out from under her.

She sat down right on top of him, her eyes widened in surprise and, swiveling her head around, she said, “Are yoooooo ok there young ‘uunnnn?”

Ralph lay there his eyes bulging as he wheezed out, “Fine mam. Could you please move?”

“Ooohh, sorry don’t cha’ knooow. My mistake.”

She got up and Ralph rolled over, breathing heavily.

Suddenly Pinkie stepped up to the cow and said in confusion, “Bertha?!?!”

The cow opened her eyes in surprise and said, “Pinkie? Why I haven’t seen yoooo since last month at the chocolate-milk-lovers-club meeting! What are yoooo dooooing here and with such an unfortuuunate fellow?”

“Oh he’s a friend of mine. He can be a little clumsy at times, but he’s really a great pony. He just doesn’t have much experience with hooves yet.”

“Whatever dooo yooo mean by that?”

“I’ll explain later. Would you like a pancake?”

“Oh how sweet of yooo Pinkie. I can’t believe yoooo remembered that about me. I think I’ll go get some milk to eat this with.”

Ralph, still in a state of shock, nodded his head. Then he bolted for the fence that separated the field from the road.

“It was wonderful seeing you again Bertha. Can we catch up over a nice glass of chocolate milk sometime? I’ll be in Canterlot until the party tonight. Do you think we could get together sometime after that?” Pinkie said with a smile.

“Oh I would love that. Let’s see, I’m free tomorrow. How about we meet early tomorrow morning at The International Barn of Pancakes?”

“Tomorrow at IBOP. Got it. Does six o’clock work for you?”

“That’s perfect. I’ll see yoooo then don’t cha’ know.”

Pinkie turned around and trotted out of the field while Bertha turned and continued to graze.

“Why did you even have a pancake, Pinkie?” Twilight asked her friend as they headed down the path.

“I always keep a pancake with me,” Pinkie replied, “In case of pancake emergencies.”

“I saw we go back to Canterlot before we get too distracted. After all the party starts pretty soon,” Twilight suggested.

They nodded and all headed back.

“I just wanted to know if she could talk,” said Ralph, coughing.

“However,” said Twilight, “Just before the party, I know just where to take you.”


“Welcome to the Canterlot Library!” said Twilight, tapping her hooves together in excitement, “This is one of my favorite places in all of Canterlot! This is the Star Swirl the Bearded wing, the spells in here are about everything from incantations to time spells. I’ve spent many a night here, studying.”

“Ooooohhhh,” said Pinkie, examining the shelves, “Fourth Wall: Fact or Fiction? By: I.M. Sane. I think I’ve read this.”

“Neat,” said Ralph, unenthused. He rolled his eyes in boredom.

“This is one of my favorite references,” Twilight said, levitating a book in front of Richie’s face, “It’s called The Essentials of Creating a List. By: Boo K. Worm. I’ve read it several times.”

“You have books about creating lists?” Richie asked in awe.

“Twilight does,” Spike answered, beginning to clean up the pile of books that had already begun to grow at Twilight’s hooves.

“Right well it’s been… strange,” Ralph said, backing away from the magenta alicorn, “But I’m gonna go ahead and -“

He dashed out of the room.

“What made him run off?” Twilight queried in confusion, “Isn’t he interested in books?”

“Ralph?” Richie asked, examining the shelves, “No. All he’s interested in is chicks.”

“CHICKS?” hollered Pinkie, scaring everypony half to death, “Well then he should have stayed with Fluttershy. She has all kinds of critters and I know she has chickens.”

“Different kind of chicks,” Richie said, rolling his eyes, “But I think I’ll stay here for a while. This is really neat.”

“Fine,” Pinkie said, hopping towards the door, “Then I’ll go find Ralph and treat him to a grass smoothie.”

Richie’s face turned slightly green-ish and he turned back to the shelves of books in front of him.

“Slumber 101: Everything You’ve Ever Wanted To Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid To Ask?” Richie asked as he examined yet another book title, “You ponies sure don’t have much to write about.”