• Published 25th May 2012
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A Cog in the Machine - ManlyDerp



The Flim Flam brothers have a secret; a live secret that breathes fire. Please, listen to my tale.

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Chapter 10: To be Heard... Part 3 of ???

… Hmmmm…

… Grrrr…

Sigh~…

…The ceiling is leaking…

Drip… drop… drip… drop… it’s got kind of a sweet beat, all things considered…

… I’m sitting at a regular old table here. Said table is empty outside of a cracked dinner plate full of what looks like stones and a tiny teacup that’s full of dirty looking water. Pure brown with little green bits here and there, looks very solid, and it’s producing a strong, if stale, smell…

… just for reference; I’m not describing the table.

I’m describing the ‘tea’.

Yuck.

… My spine is currently telling me that the chair I’m sitting in right now wasn’t meant for somepony of my new body type… or my age… ow.

… I REALLY need to use the restroom, but I’m currently tied to the aforementioned chair so there’s a fat chance I’m going to be allowed to fix that little problem any time soon here…

Double ow.

… My snout is itchy and I can’t do jack about it. Grrrr…

And lastly… I miss my fur. My new scales are just as itchy as my poor nose… that is all.

… It’s at times such as these, when I’m forced to enjoy the company of my own thoughts for once where I’m also forced to debate whether or not my time could have been better spent remaining dead.

“More tea, little worm?”

… Because it’s at times such as these where I find myself pining for some strand of normalcy in my everyday life… yeah! Normalcy! How whacked out is that?!

“…No? Well that is fine. More for me then~”

I know normalcy is for the weak and all, but it’s at times such as these…

When I’m being held prisoner…

In a Celestiadamn highchair…

By the princess of the seaponies herself that really, REALLY makes me wish I had some normalcy in my life… like the kind of normalcy only a place like Tartarus can provide!

“… Aren’t you going to eat your crumpets?”

“YOU TIED MY BUCKING ARMS TO THE CHAIR!” I roared into my ‘host’s’ face.

Princess Diamrem simply laughed in the face of my discomfort.

“Hehe. My my my; that is not how you’re supposed to treat royalty, little one. And here I went through all that trouble to fetch my old nymph chair for you…”

“I’m not a freaking foal” I snarled through clenched teeth.

“Well you’re certainly acting like one,” answered Diamrem casually.

Unfortunately she was just a tad too late on that reply…

Starswirl had already beaten her to the punch, you see.

‘Well you’re certainly acting like one, bard.’

“… Shut up, Starswirl” I complained under my breath.

“What was that?” The seapony questioned, momentarily drawing her attention away from her own drink.

I sighed. “Nothing nothing, just… j-just what do you want with me?” I finally worked up the courage to ask. I had only just woken up about a minute or two ago from this monster’s masterfully crafted tra-

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of Swirly snorting.

‘Pfffff!! M-masterful trap my blank flank!’ she snickered. ‘That was by no means a trap! You walked right into this seapony’s waiting fins willingly! Hahaha!’

Hey! Don’t make me break out the wubs again, bitch!

… My threat seems to have only had the effect of causing the mare inside my head to laugh even harder than she already was. Guess I should have known bluffing wouldn’t work on somepony who can readily tell just how terrified I really am…

Getting back on track; it was only about a minute or two ago that I woke up to the sight of my (Starswirl was ‘kind’ enough to identify for me) murderer pouring out for me a drink I had no conceivable way of reaching and to the sound of an ancient unicorn laughing at my misfortune every step of the way, so I honestly haven’t the slightest clue what’s going on right now. The simple fact that I’m still alive is a shock in and of itself!

Diamrem laughed a second time as she set her cup back down on our rather small table in our rather darkly lit room.

“Why, I just wanted to chat with you for a bit. Is that a crime?”

“I-it is when you foalnap somepony!” I retorted half in a hiss and half in a shaky voice.

After quickly running a fin through her mane, the seapony princess laid her head down sideways into the makeshift pillow of her limbs and continued to stare at me with a mischievous grin.

“Well, you see that’s just the thing…” she answered coolly, blue eyes trained on me “I smell unicorn magic on you, as well as the stench of magical generosity. You were once a pony, yes… but now you’re not a pony anymore, little one, and that has somehow granted you immunity from my people’s song… I find that fascinating. Are you perhaps an archmage trained by Celestia herself, or by the order of unicorns? Maybe you are one of Gaia’s courtmages, perhaps? Hmmm… maybe, just maybe, you are perhaps one of Asterion’s nine battlemages? Seems rather silly though… but I remember reading about how that one is a silly god so it’s not too farfetched… well, worm, care to explain?”

“I-I don’t have to tell you anything!” I barked.

Diamrem’s smile, after having worn it this entire time, finally fell. A look of slowly growing yet controlled anger replaced it as she straightened herself against the table’s frame. I shrank back down in my hig- CHAIR! I shrank back down in my chair at the sight. It felt like I was a pegasus being drilled into by the eyes of a very cheesed off wonderbolt captain…

“… Yes, you do,” the princess replied slow and calmly, a stark contrast to the ‘peppy’ attitude she displayed before. “I… have won. I have an army, I hold power over all the sea now, and I hold power over you as well. I could easily use those bindings around your body to crush your bones, collapse your lungs, and put an end to your miserable existence once and for all. With the simple wave of my dorsal fin I could easily fill your stomach to the literal bursting point, forever staining the chair you’re sitting in red with your own blood. Why, were I in the mood, I could also use my new found powers to suck all the moisture out of your body and leave you as nothing more than a lifeless husk… it would be a slow and painful process but it would be one I would find oh so much pleasure in doing. Ambrosine knows it’s usually so boring around here…

“Well, little worm,” Diamrem spoke as she leaned closer to me, allowing her forked tongue and fangs to be on full display. “… have you changed your mind yet?”

… -Sniff-

I-I… I don’t think I n-need to use the little filly’s room anymore…

‘Oh for the love of,’ Starswirl groaned in the face of my suffering, having finally stopped laughing. ‘You are by far the most useless… sigh~, nevermind. Deep breaths, Starswirl. Deep breaths… Vinyl, listen to me.’

W-what?

‘It has been stated many a time, but I feel as though I need to reiterate it here: I don’t like you and you, for reasons that simply baffle me, don’t seem to like me. But we’re partners in this, correct? You get me what I want and I help you get what you want… these conditions are still to be upheld, yes?’

I guess…

‘Good, then repeat after me.’

H-huh?

‘Repeat everything I’m about to say… to Diamrem. I will talk to her in your place.’

W-w-what?! But…

‘Hmm? Oh I’m sorry. Did you wish to speak to this mare, bard?’

Well, no…

‘Then allow me.’

O-… okay.

‘Excellent. And here we go. First thing’s first; let’s dig a little deeper…’

“W-what power?” I repeated for Swirly. “What ‘new found’ power?”

This question seemed to return the princess to her earlier ‘chipper’ attitude. With a new joyful smile, the seapony brought a tentacle forward from her backside and used it to prompt up her flowing, seaweed shaped mane.

“Can’t you tell?” Diamrem asked in a sing-songy voice, her green locks still being played around with by that weird as-all-get-out appendage. “Does this mane not look familiar?”

Starswirl digested this reply in my head.

‘Hmmmm, interesting… the last time I was given the opportunity to look upon this girl through Cogwill’s eyes she didn’t possess a proper mane; none of her seaponies did… This body must be special to her; special enough for her to have teleported it across such a great distance… Yes that seems right; the subtle shifts in the magic aura around her seem to suggest that such an event has taken place. She ‘winked’ recently, possibly from the S.S. Luna Returner… is it possible to trace that landline backwards I wonder…’

‘… Oh, right, silly me. I forgot about your ineptitude towards big words...’

… My inepti-what now?

‘… Maladroitness?’

‘… Ignoramity?’

… You’re just making crap up now.

‘… Just ask her about her mane, you damn spoony bard.’

W, w-what the hell does that even mean?!

‘It means shut up.’

At first I started to grumble to myself over Starswirl's, well, Starswirl-ness… but I quickly knocked that racket off when I returned my attention to Diamrem and discovered that her piercing dragon-like eyes were watching me expectantly, meaning she was obviously waiting for me to continue…

-Gulp-

“N-no?” I at last sputtered out.

The seapony princess was stunned by my reply.

“Really? It doesn’t?” she asked, her confusion plain to see. “Can you not think of a single entity who possesses a mane such as this; who possesses a mane that flows freely on invisible winds and radiates the purest magic of all? I know you know of at least one… I used her form as bait for you earlier, after all!”

‘… Oh. Oh my. It seems as though my earlier hypothesizes about her intentions were correct. This is going to prove bothersome…’

“W-what does that mean?” I asked Swirly out loud, as my mind currently lacked the stability necessary to ask it in there.

Diamrem, sadly, mistook my words as ones meant for her.

“What does what mean, child?” she hissed, this time with her frustration plain to see. “I mean I shaped my inner magic into her form and you foolishly followed it to me! Did I really just need to spell that out for you?! Ugh! For one who had the gall to sneak into mother’s castle by her lonesome you sure don’t seem to have your head on straight, pony.

“What is the meaning of this? Are you just naturally this clueless, or was your brain affected as well in your little transformation?”

“N-no it wasn’t!” I quickly snapped at Diamrem, not really thinking my words through.

‘Er, well actually it kind of was,’ Starswirl nonchalantly admitted… wait, what?!

“WHAT?!”

‘It was only a tiny alteration, I assure you,’ my ‘co-pilot’ acknowledged. ‘Nothing noticeable… but this is neither the time nor the place to discuss that. Our internal conversations are only serving to annoy our current host.’

“What are you screaming about, worm?!”

‘See? Either calm down and speak to me through your mind again or don’t speak to me at all.’

“… Freaking… hate you…”

“What was that?” Diamrem suddenly snarled at me, her face now only mere inches away from my own.

Never in my entire life have I ever backpedaled as hard as I was backpedaling right now.

“N-n-n-n-no no!” I practically wailed, tears blinding me. “I-I’m n-not t-t-talking to you! I’m… I-I’m…”

“Yes~?” the seapony probed psychotically.

“I-I-I’m…” C-crap! Swirly! Help!

A sigh escaped the unicorn in question’s lips.

‘… It would appear as though the wall has firmly greeted your backside, my little draconic,’ Starswirl stated dejectedly. ‘There’s nothing more I can do for you. Avoid being tortured for the information she will most likely not even believe and simply… give up.’

N-n-no!!

‘It is the only option left to you now,’ Swirly grunted. ‘I’m afraid this was as far as your pitiful powers of heart, will, and friendship could take you… an excellent life lesson to learn, if I do say so myself. Do keep it in mind on your next round trips through life and death… maybe you’ll one day succeed!

‘… Maybe.’

I-I-I…

D, D-damn it!

Damn it damn it damn it!

I-I… I-I…

“I-I-I-I-I’M TALKING TO THE VOICE IN MY HEAD!!!

I slammed my eyes shut after that, not caring to see what horrible thing was about to happen to me because of my bluntness. My breathing and mind both became erratic as my blubbering devolved my thoughts and words into unintelligent gibberish. I feared for the worst. “O-oh Celestia t-this is,” -Sniff-, “i-it…”

-Sob-

-Hic-

-S-sniff-

… After what felt like an eternity of only having my pathetic sobs to listen to, where only the sudden appearance of the disembodied heads of my loved ones could ever hope to comfort me, Diamrem finally spoke…

… but not before…

“… Ugh…”

… sighing… disappointingly…?

… Huh?

“… I see,” the seapony muttered as she slowly slid back down into her chair and as I slowly opened one eye. “And… a-and here I had thought… ugh…”

“…”

I blinked my one open eye.

“…”

Diamrem’s mane blew on an invisible breeze as she kept up her staring contest with the floor.

“…”

I blinked my eye a second time.

“…”

Diamrem… continued to be quiet.

‘… Bard,’ Starswirl finally spoke up. ‘Inquire about this whole… thing for me.’

I narrowed my one open eye.

‘… I’m sorry for abandoning you during a time where the odds of your continued living were astronomically low,’ she lazily ‘apologized.’ ‘Happy?’

… No.

‘Too bad. Ask please.’

Opening both my eyes, I looked across the table at the seapony princess… who was still ignoring me at this point for some reason.

“… Err…” I mentally hailed to ‘mission control’. “S-sure. I guess I can do that…”

I-I’m still a bit shaken up right now…

… But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little, well, curious as to what the hay is going on right now.

‘Hehe. Curiosity: the number one killer of cats. Thank goodness you have more than nine lives at your disposal, right bard?’

I ignored Swirly’s stupid (beyond stupid, in all honesty) comment as I slowly worked up the courage to ask Diamrem…

“W-what’s wrong?” -Sniff-

As I did this, I also tried uselessly to sniff back the tears left over from my latest emotional breakdown. At this point I think it would be safe to say that I’ve cried more in the last twenty-four hours then I have in the entirety of this past year alone… colt do I feel lame.

At my question, Diamrem lifted her head up from the table momentarily to look at me, but then just as quickly laid her head back down again as she replied

“… Well…” the disheartened princess began to explain. “This… might sound silly…”

… Said the psychotic and possibly bipolar world domination seeking seapony princess…

‘Keep your commentary to yourself. I’m trying to listen here…’

“… But earlier, when I felt that someone had tripped one of the alarm runes left behind in mother’s castle, I was ecstatic! I was looking forward to having another battle of wits with someone before my victory was absolute! Talking with little Cog made me realize how much I’ve missed the simple act of, well, talking to someone! She was the first one in over five hundred years to ever share words with me…Now that she’s an abomination though I highly doubt our conversations will ever be as engaging as they once were. Tis’ truly a shame; she once possessed such a powerful fire in her heart, and her eyes were full of a burning defiance the likes of which I will likely never see again…

“… you, on the other fin, are obviously insane.”

“…”

My left eye twitched.

“W, W-what?!

Diamrem shrugged.

“Yes, insane. It’s quite obvious, worm. I mean, voices in your head? Seriously? Hehe, how humorous either way! I will never understand how people like you operate~”

“HOW PEOPLE LIKE ME OPERATE?! Lady, you’re trying to flood the Celestiadam-”

‘Don’t waste your words.’ Swirly cut me off. ‘They won’t help you here.’

Biting my tongue (and wincing at the pain that action caused me. Stupid sharp fangs...) I silenced myself and continued my conversation with Starswirl within my head. But she’s the one whose insa-”

A “ha!” escaped the archmage’s lips. ‘Some of the scenes of your life I have witnessed in your memories seem to suggest otherwise, Ms. “I-burn-down-medical-facilities.”’

… Oh for the love of all things Equestrian THAT WAS ONE FREAKING TIME, SWIRLY! ONE, FREAKING, TIME!!!

‘… Bard? Need I remind you that I can look through your memories at a whim here? It’s currently impossible for you to lie to me.’

‘…’

… Er… insanity…

‘Is such a broad concept?’

Yeah…

‘Then let us agree to leave it at that and move on. In light of this… curious... turn of events, I have come to a conclusion regarding this ‘Diamrem’, Vinyl. Care to hear it?’

Do I have a choice?

‘No. Based off of her statement just now, and from evidence I’ve gathered during yours and Cogwill’s meetings, here’s what I’ve deduced… she’s you.’

… Wha?

‘Yes,’ Swirly went on. ‘A young filly, hardly even a mare, with strong beliefs and ideals who claims she will do anything to uphold them, but when push comes to shove her persona cracks like a cheap mask and what is left behind is a child whose easily depressed… sounds familiar, doesn’t it?’

… Starswirl, please stop picking on me at a time like this. It’s not cool.

‘Oh but I’m not this time. I’m speaking honestly. Despite her years Diamrem is still quite immature, just like you. She’s trying to change the entire world to fit her image, yet she was instantly sent into a bout of melancholy upon the discovery that her new ‘toy’, ala you, was ‘defective’.’

I’m still only hearing insults here, Swirly…

‘Let me finish. When I told you about your friend’s fate, you attacked me and made vows to defy me. But when you woke up in the land of the living you broke down into a nervous wreck before accomplishing anything. You wanted to protect your friend, but lacked the means. Diamrem wants to save her people, as I discovered through Cogwill’s eyes, but she lacked the means until an element of harmony presented itself to her. Once it did, she jumped at the opportunity to change her people’s fate, but along the way she slowly started to see what such a task would require. She needed to cast aside not only contact with other creatures, but also her mother’s connections to the sea serpent race, who I now know, thanks to Lyssa’s glorious flames, did not support Diamrem’s action to attack Celestia’s little ponies. Combining that tasty little morsel of information with the fact that a caste system seems to be in place for this particular tribe of serpents, in which the lowest tiers are raised to be the princess’s pawns, and we have successfully determined why a civil war is currently taking place outside these walls. Fighting such a war during a time when she needs soldiers, talking to you when she could be dealing with Cogwill or gaining more power or trying to appeal to the sea serpents or quite literally doing anything more important than talking to you and it quickly becomes quite apparent that Diamrem was not prepared for this ‘war’ of hers in the slightest! Splendid news, correct?’

… I’m so incredibly lost right now.

‘... I really shouldn’t be surprised at this point, yet I constantly am. Let me think... To put it simply, Vinyl; replace ‘Element of Harmony’ with ‘The Amazing Starswirl the Bearded’ and you two would be peas in a pod. Does that help you a bit?’

…!!!

Holy crap I understand!

‘Sacrosanct excrement you understand?!’

So, what you’re trying to tell me is that Diamrem isn’t this whole ‘genius mastermind war technician’ I’ve been fearing her as! No... what she is is desperate!

‘Yes!’

Desperate like I’ve been!

‘Yes yes and yes!’

So she has a plan, but not a fully fleshed out one…

‘Correct. There are a lot of events taking place here that she didn’t account for; holes here and there that could prove to be her downfall. Also, looking at her in this new light helps us to understand who she truly is…’

A spoiled brat with too much power at her control? One who’s grasping at straws on ways to accomplish that whole ‘flood the world’ thing?

‘Bingo.’

… Heh.

‘… You were just laughing at the fact that I, a mare well into her first millennium of un-life, made reference to a game commonly played by the elderly… I applaud your ability to find humor in the most inopportune of times, bard.’

Er, sorry, but I didn’t really see where you were going with that whole thing just now, so my mind kinda wandered.

‘I see… Where I was ‘going’, Vinyl, was in a direction that should have given you a better understanding of your current situation, thus more confidence. Nothing more nothing less.’

… Wait, hold up… you were trying to make me less scared?

Starswirl suddenly let out a low and actually sincere sounding laugh.

‘If you want to look at it like that… then yes. Correct,’ Starswirl chuckled. ‘… But don’t go mistaking it as an act of goodwill! I was simply finding it hard to direct you properly while you were a frightened, crying mess…’

...Well, all the same… thanks.

‘Ha!’ the mage shouted sporadically. ‘Don’t be thanking me yet, bard. Now that your death isn’t one hundred percent guaranteed, it’s time for us to start pushing the good princess’s buttons again… and by us I of course mean you.’

… My hatred for you knows no bounds, Starswirl.

‘Good,’ my ‘friend’ again chuckled. ‘Use that hatred to fuel your resolve. You’re about to need every ounce of it you can muster.’

… -Gulp-

W-well… bring it on.

‘With pleasure. Repeat after me, and do your best not to be surprised by anything you’re about to hear…’

“Luna.”

With that simple namedrop Diamrem was suddenly knocked out of the daydream she had been occupying for the last minute or so. Maybe it was about her talk with Cogy or something, I don’t know.

“… What did you say, worm?”

Taking a deep breath, I calmed my nerves as I put on an intimidating glare, one that hid my true emotions. My shades (which, thanks to a quick shake of my head, had now slid down so as to cover my eyes) helped me in this task just like they always do.

“Princess Luna,” I said through my rose tinted stare. “That mane of yours… it’s hers..."

My own words rendered me speechless while Diamrem simply became curious.

“Oh? So you finally figured it out,” she snickered as she returned to playing with the flowing item in question attached to her bony head. For a brief second the color of the bundle of magical strands changed from its dark green shade to the shimmering night purple I instantly recognized as the famous Nightmare Moon mane. I was suddenly reminded to the fact that Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon were once one and the same ponies, according to the newspapers… and also to the fact that Princess Luna was currently here somewhere in this castle.

I-if, if Diamrem is currently rocking her mane… w-what happened to the princess?!

“Draining her dry I see,” I repeated for Starswirl like a mindless parrot, still too shocked by this recent revelation to care. “If you desired having an intelligent conversation so badly, why didn’t you try your luck with her?”

“…”

The princess tilted her head to the side and looked at me oddly. I hid the fact that I was sweating a raincloud’s worth of liquid behind my ever loyal specs as she continued to drill into me with those piercing eyes of hers.

“… She’s boring.” Diamrem finally responded. “So incredibly boring. She doesn’t react to my words in the same extreme manner as little Cog does, nor does she answer them at all! She just sits there in her cage silently and shrugs off my attempts to speed up the process of siphoning her magic.”

“Siphon he-” I started to scream, but Swirly quickly shushed me and I was able to stop just in the nick of time. Slow and steady, DJ Pon-3. Slow and steady…

“So you’re trying to steal her moon I take it?”

Again I was rewarded with a strange look from the head seapony.

“… Where are these words coming from, worm? From what little time we’ve spent together, I find it hard to believe that they are yours…”

“Er, j-just asking the questions the little pony in my head wants to hear!”

“… Oh. I see. Hmmm… I find this… amusing. Continue on.”

Phew~

‘Excellent save.’

Thanks…

“But…” the princess suddenly stated. “let us a play a game, you and I. How about Ask a Question, Give an Answer? You ask one question, and then I’ll ask one question, and then you again and so on… Seems fair, doesn’t it?”

“Umm…”

‘Drat, she’s got us,’ Starswirl mildly cursed. ‘The odds of her, a mortal, believing your responses are slim to none… nothing we can do though. I’ll try to get as much information out of her as I can in as few of questions as possible…’

What are you even trying to accomplish here?

‘A variety of things. I’m trying to get a better handle of the princess’s ‘evil’ plan, I’m trying to find a way to free you from your bindings and, if all else fails, I’m also trying to help you distract Diamrem for an extended period of time. The more time she wastes on you, the less time she has to spend on killing you, Cogwill, and anybody else.

‘… I’m also trying to add some tasty pieces of knowledge to my hoard on the side here.’

H-hey!

‘I’m half dragon! Did you honestly expect anything less from me?’

“I’ll go first then~”

… Crap’ Starswirl and I swore together.

The princess hmm-ed to herself for a bit. “Hmmm… Given your form, it’s safe to assume that you were not one of the lunar princess’s peagasus guards… that must mean… You were the pony I threw off that damnable ship, weren’t you?”

“Um, y-yeah!” I quickly answered for her.

“But, ho-”

“Uh uh uh!” I just as quickly cut off. “It’s my turn now!”

Diamrem huffed.

“But that wasn’t much of an answer…”

“W-wasn’t much of a question,” I retorted cheekily as I applied a fake smile to my face. I waited a second for Starswirl to come up with another question for me to ask.

“… How much of Luna’s power do you now possess?” I asked after a few seconds.

This question seemed to amuse the seapony sitting across from me.

“Why, I’d say about twenty-five percent of it, and even then I’ve only barely scratched the surface~!”

Well that’s not reassuring…

“Back to me then. Worm, are you aware that the dragoness known as ‘Cog’ holds you very close to her heart?”

“… I do now” I muttered depressingly. “… Oh Cogy… hang in there, girl…” I shook my head, ridding myself of the dark thoughts that had begun to form. I then asked Swirly’s next question for her. “Why is this place so empty?”

“Hmmm,” Diamrem purred. “Your questions aren’t very fun, you wormy pony. How sad… but I suppose I must answer them. That is how the game is played, I’m afraid... The reason mother’s castle is devoid of seaponies, little one, is because that was her final order all those years ago. She wished not to be disturbed while the last of her mind faded from this realm…that is all. The reason her current offspring also follow this command, however, is a mystery even to me…

“… And with that it is my turn again~”

Ugh! Not good… I was only barely able to dodge the last couple ones… This isn’t going to end well at this rate.

I braced myself for the worst.

“Well, worm… what is your name?”

I blinked, tilted my head, then raised an eyebrow... my well practiced 'Huh?' face.

“Please answer it,” the seapony insisted with an honest looking smile. Creepiest thing you’ll ever see right there…

“O-oh, well, I-I’m Vinyl Scratch…”

The seapony’s smile suddenly evolved into a toothy grin.

“Ahhh… I see. So you were that pony I threw overboard then… interesting.”

“H-how… I-I just said I was the pony you threw overboard. Why did you need to re-confirm it?”

Diamrem’s sneer grew even wider after these words had left my lips, freaking me the buck out.

‘Bard…’ Starswirl commented in a hiss. ‘You just fell into her trap. Round three and already you’ve made a critical error… yet again I honestly shouldn’t be this surprised, but I am.’

Huh?

“So that’s your next question then…” Diamrem spoke, catching my attention again… and it was at this point where I realized my mistake. Ah horseapples… “I needed to re-confirm it, Vinyl, because I wasn’t sure. There were just so many ponies on that ship; there was no way for me to know for sure!

My turn again~”

I gulped.

“Oh, but I think I’ll be kind here and answer your next question for you right now!”

“H-hey!” my voice cracked. “That’s against the rules!”

Diamrem’s leer only grew bigger as a result of my words.

“True true, but I can just sense what it is you were about to ask. The question that’s just eating away at you as we speak… or, maybe, it’s the question that hasn’t come to mind yet!”

In a futile attempt to prevent myself from getting into even more manure than I was already in, I snapped my mouth shut.

This didn’t stop the evil princess at-freaking-all.

"How does my name confirm that I was the one who was thrown overboard?” the seapony asked for me. “A simple question for sure, and one that has an even simpler answer… your dear friend told me!”

“W-what?” I gasped, only to then immediately slam my mouth closed yet again.

Too little and too late, unfortunately.

“A second question!” Diamrem playfully teased. “My oh my aren’t you just a greedy little thing! It seems as though your transformation into a draconic was a huge success in that respect! Congratulations~! Oh, don’t you worry though… I’ll graciously accept my three questions after I humbly answer your own!”

‘Great job breaking it, hero.’

“Shut up, Starswirl!”

‘… Why do you enjoy digging your own grave so much, bard? Is it therapeutic? Are there health benefits? Or maybe you just want to see me again that badly?’

What the hay are you talkin-

“… Starswirl?”

… Oh you’ve got to be freaking kidding me.

“I… just said that out loud…” I numbly spoke to Diamrem. I stopped myself short of turning it into another question by throwing a ‘didn’t I?’ on there, but at this point I don’t think it even really matters anymore…

Diamrem was currently sporting a look of pure confusion, one that replaced her earlier creepy smile… but this new expression was just as frightening as the last.

“Starswirl?” she again asked. “Do you mean to say…” she started to inquire, but then quickly cut herself off. With a quick shake of her head, her creepy-as-all-hell smile returned in full force. “Nevermind,” she spoke, returning to her ‘cheerful’ disposition. “A question I’ll save for later, perhaps… for now, I still have your question to answer~”

Leaning forward, Diamrem removed herself from her chair and laid flat across our table. Her body pushed all our silverware and plates off the surface, causing the fragile items to shatter and causing my still full cup of ‘tea’ to spill out onto the already wet floor. My spiny tail was forced up against the backboard of my immobile prison as I tried to push myself further back in fright. I could feel the almost rattlesnake-like tip of my horn push itself into the confines of my messy mane, and I could feel as each and every one of my new spines were forced up against each other in a very uncomfortable fashion.

Not as uncomfortable, however, as being yet again mere inches away from fish breath here. Yuck!

Transforming her twin tentacles once more into makeshift pillow for herself, Diamrem leaned forward just enough so that her mouth was right next to my new fin ear. Shaking madly, I was forced to simply bear it as the princess finally reached said ear and whispered into it…

“Little Cog was kind enough to scream it for me, little Vinyl. I forced her to scream it out loud for all to hear… And I took pleasure in it. I enjoyed watching her break down into tears after all she put me through, after she tricked me. I enjoyed it as she tried oh so dreadfully hard to save you from your fall. And I enjoyed watching that same little girl, after all she had said and done, finally lose all hope and give in to her greed. I don’t quite understand the last bit myself though, as her transformation has only proven to be a hindrance to my plan… but it was simply something I enjoyed doing.” Diamrem looked at me expectantly. “Here’s the first of my three questions, Vinyl… I hurt your friend, how does that make you feel?”

!!!

...

… Starswirl…

‘No, Vinyl,’ said the mare in my head. ‘I’m not going to give you the magic to greed growth out of your bindings; I don’t even have the energy needed to perform such a feat, and horrifically murdering Diamrem in the fashion you are describing to me isn’t going to solve anything.’

Yes. It. Will.

‘No it will not,’ Swirly unfalteringly answered. ‘Diamrem, for lack of time to properly explain to you, is effectively just as immortal as any other true god or goddess… well for now, at least. Attempting to kill her will only prove to be a futile endeavor.’

… Fine, whatever… but it’ll make me happy though!

‘Your ‘happiness’ is irrelevant. Logic will win out in the end, as it always does. Continue to follow my orders and the possibility to escape should present itself… eventually.

‘Turn off your emotions and proceed, bard.’

…Helpful one moment, a bitch the next… You don’t understand a damn thing Swirly…

‘… Why do you hate me so much? Again I must make comment to how your anger towards me makes no logical sense…’

… Not a damn thing…

“… Hmmmm… no reply…” the seapony remarked into my ear, her face still right up next to my own. “Then you are as boring as the former bearer of the moon.

“Question number two…” she went on, unaware of my slowly growing rage. My fists shook under my straps as all my earlier fear slowly warped and changed into pure hatred. “You… are dead, or should be dead at least. How is it that you are here now and alive?”

A quick laugh escaped my lips.

“That’s two questions, fishy,” I explained as blue wisps of magic escaped along the edges of my mouth. “Don’t think I’m not paying attention…”

Diamrem laughed from within our pseudo embrace.

“Oooooo, so scary~” she teased. “Maybe you’re not as boring as I thought… answer me now, worm.”

“… I did die.”

‘Bard!’ Swirly cried. ‘What in Lyssa’s eternal name do you think yo-’

“Changing this convo’s beat,” I retorted under my breath, never once taking my eyes off of the monster in front of me. “… And making its tempo my mare.”

The big old fishy’s head was still next to mine at this point, but my latest answer to her caused the princess to slowly back away from me. I watched out of the corner of my eye as she retreated with a bewildered look etched to her face.

“… What?” she asked as she stood up tall on the tabletop with her coiled tail, effectively dwarfing me.

I held my glare. “You’re breaking the rules again, Diamy. I just answered both of your questions! It’s my turn now.”

Diamrem’s eyes narrowed.

‘This is a dangerous game you’re playing, Vinyl!’

Do you think I don’t know that?!

‘Well, based on your track record… yes! Ask her about her mother’s state, or the position of the Luna Returner! Ask her something safe that will prolong this conversation!’

Prolong it until something comes up or until you think of something, that is…

‘… Er, well, yes. Essentially...’

… That’s not good enough for me anymore. You wanted me to push her buttons, right? Well it’s time to push them just a little bit harder.

“Why are you doing this?” I finally asked the princess standing before me.

The seaweed lovin’ mare laughed at me spitefully in response.

“Such a wasted question!” she roared with a laugh, raising her tiny fins into the air. “I wish to restore mother’s race to their former glory! To do this I must return this world to its former glory! Surely you already knew this…?”

I snarled at the mare. “There you go again, breaking the rules!”

“…”

Diamrem blinked.

“… I... I do not understand what it is you are suggesting..."

For the first time in what felt like forever, I allowed my mouth to curve upwards into my famous DJ Pon-3 smirk.

“…but I suppose I must answer them. That is how the game is played, I’m afraid~” I repeated in in a snarky version of Diamy’s voice. “See the problem here, ya witch?!”

“… No. I do not.”

My smirk grew even larger.

“You must answer them… truthfully! No lying allowed here, or else my answers are going to be just as fabricated as yours! You want the answers to your burning questions? Then speak the truth!

“…”

The seapony huffed.

“Are you insinuating that I didn’t answer your question truthfully?” She broke her own rules to ask. “Are you trying to say that my actions are not for the benefit of my race, nor are they for my dear old mother?”

“Right on the snout, lady!”

Looks like it’s time for my ultimate gambit; the one in which I use everything I know about Diamrem to attack her weak points for massive damage and get her where I want her…

… too bad I don’t really know a damn thing about her!

All I really know is that her mom is some kind of big old blob thing that likes to hide in the dark, that the ‘great’ seapony race she wants to save is nothing more than mindless killing machines who are constantly being reborn through the same mother’s body (ewww…), and that she takes pleasure in hurting and manipulating ponies in sadistic ways...

… Sounds like any old villain from any one of the countless adventure novels and comics I rotate through on a weekly basis (hey even I need a break from being a party pony sometimes!).

I know that this is real life and all and that those books aren’t real representations of it… but sometimes there’s a little truth in them! Under that train of thought, I can safely say that Diamrem is currently tipping my ‘villain doesn’t know her own motivation’ senses off. I mean, think about it; the way she’s been handling things concerning this ‘war’, the way she’s been trying to rattle me… heck, even the simple fact that she’s talking to me can lead anypony to the logical (that word burns me inside, I assure you) conclusion that her heart isn’t into this. None of what she’s done so far would make sense if it were, so there has to be another reason for why she’s doing this at all…

… and I think I know it… think being the big word here.

Now… if only I could get her to say it and react to it in the way I think she’ll react to it…

… Move over any one of my Upper Canterlot showings; this is going to be my hardest gig ever!

Diamrem stared at me in silence as I contemplated all this in my head. With little to no Starswirl comments helping to break the tension, sweat continued to fall from my face as the seconds dragged on for what felt like decades. I held up my fake smile all the same, relying on my emotion hiding gem specs to continue to protect me just like always.

“… Hehehe…I take back everything I’ve said about you, little Vinyl. You are fun!”

No crap, princess.

… p-probably not the best time to get cocky, is it?

I remained as still as a statue as the demonic fish pony jumped down from the tabletop and slowly began to slither her way behind my chair. A chill ran down my spine the moment her cold and dead fins smacked down against my shoulders and as the good princess’s head was yet again brought down right next to my own.

“Well… maybe I do have a bit of an alternative motive…” Diamrem admitted in a whisper next to my ear.

Forced to stare at her out of the corner of my vision yet again, I held up my dirty look as best I could as I tried to keep her in my line of sight.

“And that would be…?” I asked, well aware that she would probably turn the question against me like she did earlier.

I was surprised when she didn’t… and relieved as well. Come on now… please…

My host remained quiet for a bit, humming to herself all the while as she tried to put together a response.

Then, after a brief time… she finally had one.

“… Fun. I did it for fun.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

Blue flames radiated along the rim of my lips, dancing every which way as my breathing became deeper and deeper.

“Fun…?” I growled, forcing my anger to become apparent. “All of this…?”

Diamrem’s face tightened itself into a look of deep contemplation as she slowly started to back away and out from my line of sight.

“Hmmm… yes, for fun,” she went on. “Thinking back on it now, after considering how I felt after conversing with little Cog, I guess all I can honestly say is that I actually only did all of this for… fun... Hehe, although I tricked myself into believing that my actions were for the greater good, all for the sake of giving my life a reason…”

Plop

The sound Diamrem’s chin made as she laid it down to rest atop my scaly head.

“… Here’s a fun fact for you, child,” she continued after a moment of silence. “… I… I don’t even remember what my people’s culture was like. I was but a simple nymph during our last great age, after all, and I grew up on my lonesome during the great decline that followed. All I had was my mother, her stories, and what little I remember of the day the last of the gods and goddesses visited us before turning us away forever… That was, what? Almost a thousand years ago? Hmmmm… yes that sounds about right, after all it was around that time where that last of our scholars brought their minds together in the pursuit of finding a way to harness the recently awakened Nightmare Moon’s power. I remember how, for a brief time, the hopes of my people were raised up by that goddess’s fabled birth; were raised by the mere hope that a solution to ours woes was in sight…

“…”

Diamrem’s hold on my shoulders then tightened.

“… But she was sealed away before being given the chance to as so much as glance at us.” Diamrem finished in a far off and distant voice. “Nightmare Moon... To the Abyss with you and Luna… Heh,” she laughed as her hold on me loosened. “That was over a thousand years ago, yet it seems the scars it left in my heart still remain...

“… though this doesn’t surprise me,” Diamy went on, this time with more force in her voice. Her fins tightened their hold on my shoulders a second time as well, but her grip in this instance contained more force in it just like her voice did.

“It was these very same scars that spurred me on in my mortal life to find a way to prolong my time on these waters indefinitely, after all!” she screeched, grip tightening as she subconsciously started to shake my body. “It was these very same scars that fueled my drive to save my people! To save my mother who loved me even when her mind had rotted away! If the solution to our problems was to wait for Nightmare Moon’s return, than a thousand years was but a simple drop in the bucket for one such as me!

“… Heh…”

All at once, her grip on me slackened and her voice lost all its earlier strength. It was like somepony had flipped a switch on her, turning her from one extreme to another. This was the lowest I had ever heard her at…

“… And then it happened again,” Diamrem finally admitted drearily. “The goddess of the moon came and went yet again and again did she break the promise she made as Luna to help us… all because of ‘big sister’ Celestia and her foolish ways…

“… My heart is broken, little Vinyl,” the princess continued to speak in a depressing manner. “Broken beyond repair just like my mother; just like my fellow seaponies... Stealing the moon from a goddess is the only option left, and taking my mother’s place afterwards as Queen, but even then I know, deep inside, that it’s all over for us. Deep inside I know that nothing short of a miracle will be needed to finally save us, to save me

“… but I’m far past believing in ‘The Maker’ at this point; far past believing in fairy tales…

“…

Grrrr… I now use his name mockingly!” Diamrem suddenly wailed, my chair vibrating as she did. “I’m far past believing in Heavens and Hells, of the invisible forces that inhabit our world alongside magic! I now know that they are lies spewed by the gods and goddesses; lies used to control their people and make them into a submissive herd! Mother always said how she was not welcomed in the same invisible kingdoms only true gods were allowed to walk in, despite ours being of the first race to roam this world… but now I know that these so called ‘kingdoms’ that exist beyond this mortal realm do not exist, and that The Maker himself does, not, exist! My poor mother’s mind must have been far too gone for one such as her to have believed in such a thing. Her memories from the cradle of creation must have been the first things the decay took from her…

“…”

Diamrem finally let go of my chair.

“… Yet here I am,” she muttered dejectedly. “making moves and decisions that rely on luck; decisions that could destroy this world or change it into its rightful form. No matter what transpires between now and then, there will be no way of determining what will happen to us until all is said and done. The control I have is nothing more than an illusion... I now understand this to be the indisputable truth of the world…

“…

“…

“…and I like it like that.”

Diamrem’s hold on my chair returned in full force as her voice reached crazy new heights (emphasis on the crazy). My vision blurred as she began to bounce up and down with me, making me feel like a stuffed toy in the hooves of a very excitable kid.

“I find this to be thrilling, fun even!” the demonic fish squealed like the giant filly I was now imagining her as. “Over a thousand years of waiting in solitude; waiting for miracles from a being who does not exist and waiting for aid in the form of a goddess who does not care for us… I’m finally free. Free to do whatever I damn well please… heh; and I chose to rely on invisible forces yet again! Again!!

“… Hahaha…

“… HAHAHAHA!!

“HOW DELICIOUSLY IRONIC, DON’T YOU AGREE?!” she screamed at me, having gripped my head in her fins and forced it into a stare-off with her own. “Luck… everything now has been boiled down to the most basic force in existence… and that makes me laugh! Laugh over how long I waited for the perfect time to strike when I should have known it would never come! Laugh over how much I used to care about appealing to those worthless serpents for their support, thinking that I would one day need their numbers, when the truth is that I never did! That in order to succeed I needed not rely on others or the grace of The Maker, but on something as simple as luck! I am now having fun, little worm! FUN! For the first time in my long existence I am no longer sitting back, waiting patiently for things to improve! I am no longer simply trying to survive! I can now see the world for what it truly is! A land for the lucky! And I’m having the time of my life because of this!

“And! And… and I owe it all to Cog…” Princess Diamrem chuckled evilly. and to you as well, Vinyl! Little Cog helped me finally sort out the mind I had foolish been ignoring all these years, making me realize the futility of my own efforts… and you have helped me realize what it is I truly want out of my life, now that’s it’s come to this! To have fun or not to have fun! To seek power or not to seek power! The answers are so clear to me now! Whichever route gives me the most fun… and I love it!

“Hahaha!

"I love it!!

“Ahahaha!!

"Ahahahaha!!!

"Thank you!!

Thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU!

“A thousand thank you-s, my friend~!

“Thank you for being here for me on my big day! The day I discovered that all I want out of this depressing, hardship littered life is to have,

“a little,

fun!

“And if this miserable world drowns with me, then so be it! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!”

… Whoa.

I…

I don’t…

… Show time.

-Inhale-

I narrowed my eyes.

“… So you’re endangering everyponies’ lives…?”

“For… fun!” Diamrem chirped happily.

Magic began to dance angrily in the back of my throat.

“You tortured my friend…?”

“For fun~!” the princess replied with a smile I could only see out of the corner of my eye.

The blue flames of my magic grew hotter by the second as I brought my eyes forward towards the back wall. My mouth curved downwards into an honest to Celestia snarl, which put all my new chompers on full display and also allowed my magic to start leaking out in the form of, to a casual viewer, liquid flames.

“… You murdered me…?”

Diamrem chuckled as she lowered her head down right next to my own, and right next up to my ear… closer than she’s ever been to me… all for the sake of saying…

“For… fun~ I had no reason to kill you, as you are most bluntly describing it, and I didn’t gain anything in doing so… but that rush I felt when I had your life in my fins, where I was given the chance to decide whether you live or die… it was exquisite. I’ve killed in the past, child, but never have I received a response as satisfying as the one I received from our shared friend, little Cog~

“… is it my turn to ask a question yet, little Vinyl? I’m afraid I have lost track, unfortunately. Oh well, I will have to ask it regardless of whose turn it is then, I suppose. Now, answer me; how did you survi-”

CHOMP!

The sound of my new fangs embedding themselves into the side of Diamrem’s fleshy, unguarded, and finally brought down to my level face.

… Sorry folks, but I’m afraid I must interrupt tonight’s showing of Nutjob Theatre to instead conduct a quick survey. Who here knows the basics of unicorn magic?

… Nopony? Well then I guess it’s up to Professor DJ T34ch3r Vinyl Scratch to educate some fools. Okay, so there’s:

Levitation…

Illumination…

Transformation…

Teleportation…

And…

… well I’m afraid I can’t quite remember what the final one is actually called, sadly. Sorry, but I just don’t remember it.

I know it has this really complicated but nice sounding name…

… but I always just called it I’m-Going-To-Bucking-Burn-Your-Bucking-Face-Off-ation!!!

Sometimes the shortest names are the best names~

FWOOSH!!!

The sound of my magic igniting into a glorious blue blaze within my mouth, scorching Diamrem in the process. Heh, I guess this will be the closest I’ll ever get to breathing fire… I’m perfectly okay with thi-

My thoughts were suddenly cut off by the sound of Diamrem screaming at the top of her lungs.

Rude much?

“YOU HORRID WORM!” she roared as I tightened my hold on her decaying flesh.

WHHHIIIPPPP!!!

The sound of Diamrem’s back tentacle flying through the air, making to strike me for my crimes.

ZZZZZZZZZZ-

The sound of said tentacle becoming super charged with what looked like static mag-

-ZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!

Y-Y-Y-Y-YEP!! D-DEFINITELY STATIC M-M-MAGIC!! OWOWOWOWOW!!

Fighting with everything I had, I did my best not to let go of the seapony by screaming. My muscles helped me in this task by tensing up as a result of the electrical charge. This caused the evil princess to receive some of her own magical medicine as the energy traveled along my body to hers. Diamrem tried to shake me off while this was going down, taking my chair along with her. I held on regardless, through the pain and heat and tears, knowing full well that any minute now that I was about to get sent hurtling through the air once her skin gives way…

RRRRIIIIPPPPP!!

... Just like that…

SMASH!

… And that will result in me getting thrown into a wall, destroying my highchair… which frees me from my bindings! HA! In your face, Diamy!

… Ewwww. I guess that would actually be quite literal in this case, wouldn’t it? In her face indeed… bleh. Never doing that again.

‘I-I-I,’ Starswirl sputtered silently to herself, her mind having obviously been blown. ‘W-what is this I don’t even…’

“Heh!” I snickered as I rose to my feet. “What can I say? I’m a DJ! I may not be the best at it, but I can sometimes spin ponies my way the same way I can spin disks!”

‘That… makes absolutely no sense whatsoever,’ deadpanned Swirly. ‘Well, nevertheless, I hope you thought up a phase ‘two’ to this little plan of yours, bard, or else things are about to get very messy.’

Spit-to-wee! Er, yeah, about that…” I sheepishly replied after engulfing my claws in the cobalt glow of my inner magic. “I’m kinda sorta just winging it he- AH!”

Jumping to the side, I sent a silent ‘thank you’ prayer to Celestia as I narrowly dodged a golden trident’s thrust. The weapon’s wielder tilted her head to the side, revealing the now heavily burned section of her face to me.

An evil blue eye glared my way.

“I, did, not give you permission to leave, pony!”

Eep!

SHINK!

The sound of the trident quickly being yanked out of the wall and then just as quickly swung at me in a downward thrust. I jumped back for a second time, causing the weapon to get stuck in the ground. Using magical TK to lift up the debris of my former prison, I placed one foot on the deranged fishlady’s downed weapon and then proceeded to fling the items in my grasp at her. Diamrem’s sentient mane blocked the projectiles I sent her way with relative ease, but for the briefest of seconds the ghostly green appendage blocked her field of vision…

I used this instant to strike.

Moving as fast as my new stubby legs could carry me, I took advantage of this tiny opening to run up the shaft of the seapony’s weapon, up the slimy tentacle gripping said weapon, and then finally up to the monster it was attached to’s eye level. My left foot landed firmly on her shoulder…

SHINK!!

…and my right foot landed firmly across her face, causing my incredibly sharp toes to slice directly into Diamrem’s eye. Four long scars could now be seen taking up residence on the princess’s ugly mug, right next to her burns.

“SSSHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEE!!!” she wailed in pain as I landed safely behind her on all fours. The magically charged water from beneath me rose up in response to my assault and began to swirl in a rapid rotation, all for the sake of recapturing me in its pull. I ran as fast as I could from the mad waves, fighting against the current that tried to sweep me off my feet, and towards the only exit this room had to offer.

It’s only, closed, exit.

‘Swat your tail to the right!’

I obeyed Starswirl’s command without question.

CLANK!

The sound the tip of my tail made when it collided with the princess’s latest trident thrust. I thankfully was able to deflect it in that tiny instance Starswirl had granted to me.

… Seeing the weapon being knocked to the side gave me a split second idea.

Funneling everything I had into my magical claws, I encased the golden weapon in the blue glow of my inner power and yanked it out of Diamrem’s grip. Not having the time to turn the blade on her (and knowing that, although I talk big, I’m still a happiness seeking pony who doesn’t hurt others... much), I instead aimed it towards the door in front of me…

FLING!

CRASH!

… and then lanced that baby straight through the wooden frame, creating a hole!

… A hole much too small for me to use. Ugh! I’ll have to fix that here in a se-

SPLOOSH!

Suddenly, familiar looking aquatic bindings rose up to greet me from out of the ever present water. They gripped me across my mouth and across my throat, effectively cutting off my air. C-crap!

My face began to turn blue as I fought desperately to break free and as I fought desperately to keep my magic glowing. Swirly’s mental shouts started to become distant, just like the rest of the noise around me, as darkness started to streak across my vision. Just as my eyes started to roll back into my skull, the blackness started to consume me, and as I felt Diamrem’s bony fins touch my scales…

CRASH!!

The door in front of us exploded into a rain of splinters as my trident returned to me at top speeds. The shock of it caused the magical watery rope around me to revert back into its original form and splash back down on the floor below, along with my body.

Sploosh!! Shink!!

… And that last minute ‘duck’ was what saved me from being pierced through by my own projectile…

SSSSSSHHHHHIIIINNNKKK!!!

!!!

… D-diamrem… Diamrem wasn’t as lucky…

… as evidenced by her screams of bloody murder.

... Oh

O-oh Celestia...

I-I...

I had j-just... just... k, k-ki...

...

... My claws were drenched in a river of blue blood as I shakily rose back to my feet. Not caring... too afraid to look back... I ran out the door as fast as I could, tripping over myself with every step.

My heartbeat raced

my muscles burned

my mind strained

my fresh tears were blinding

and my thoughts...

… forced into the dark for my own good...

~To be Continued~

Author's Note:

Art by More Dakka!

After months and months of inactivity, we FINALLY return to this story! I'm beginning to experiment with cutting back the overall length of my chapters, so as not to overwhelm me, so I apologize in advance for any early jankiness these next couple of chapters will have.

Like, if I were writing this chapter like I normally write these things, then I would have already transitioned into the next scene by now so we can explore Vinyl's mind a bit. I don't like overkilling ponies with cliffhangers...

... Hopefully I will be able to find a nice balance as I continue to improve myself! Please enjoy the ride in the meantime ^_^

Comments ( 110 )

Godammit, You've done it again.

Good Job! *clap clap clap*

just a heads up the pic is the wrong crop one

that's the right one
http://elite-mook.deviantart.com/art/Tea-time-crop-1-382618619

2866577
Oh... one sec. *Journeys through the wild and untamed land known as youtube* ... ah! Here we go...

Nice to see it's off hiatus. Good to have you back. Awaiting new releases.

-Mis

It's alive! Hallelujah!
This is quite possibly one of the best stories on fimfiction.
And you're a meanie-pants who won't update soon enough.
But still, HUZZAH! :yay:

This update made me so happy.

I don't think I've ever read an Interrogation scene with multiple Interrogees. (Is that even a word?) Except Starswirl is using a telepathic link. And she assumes Vinyl insane. And the question game degenerated quickly/

As for Motivation, well yes, I always suspected that a lot of people do what they do because it is fun, rather than the justification they give. I know I do, and only follow social customs and so on because to not do so is seen as mental illness, criminal, or similar, and totally ruins any possibility of my having fun after someone acts to fix it.

That art, as a note, set the mood perfectly.

Edit: I just realized, that saying "This update made me so happy", when considering the content of said update, makes me a *bad person*

Oh well, I am a realist, and as this is one of the few stories that does not totally ignore all the dark implications set up by the canon show itself, but ignored by, like, the entire fandom...

The term Everypony, could not have come around, in a nonfictional, non-joke world without being used for racism (Speciesism?) originally. Why else would you need a term to exclude all other sapient races?

2867314
Man I DO just hate it when everyone overlooks all the dark stuff that's hidden away in this verse. It's not even THAT hidden either! Some of it's right up in your FACE yet people STILL ignore it :derpyderp1:

On the subject of words: that first one TOTALLY should be a real one. Like right now. I demand a kickstarter!!

For that second one, my personal opinion is that the term 'speciesism' could be used alongside racism in this world. A pony refusing to sell an animal pet to a griffon, on the grounds that he eats meat, would be racism... a unicorn refusing to sell a book to a "dumb old" pegasus/earth pony would be speciesism, since each one of the three tribes are referred to as a 'sub-species' of the overall pony race.

Obviously speciesism doesn't happen that often anymore in modern pony society, thanks to years of the entire race belittling 'talkers' together as one (yay for harmony!), but I can see Zebra's still refusing to sell their goods to Griffons, and Griffons treating Giraffes as second class citizens. Lord Asterion's subjects just might be the only race that doesn't fight amongst themselves, due to that god's personal gift to them.

... Yay for world building!

2868070
I think you used the terms Specieism and Racism backwards...

Raceism being discrimination inside a single species (ponies being the same species, presumably) and speciesism being between multiple Species. Admittedly, I know in fiction, there are plenty of references to "The human race" and so on, implying Race is partly Synonymous with Species.

So yea. Its confusing. I think just using Racism as the term for discrimination based on Physical Appearance, and then optionally specifying what the filter being used is.

And what is wrong with me that I am trying to determine how to properly refer to racism.

~Not entirely sure which word you are talking about there. If you are talking about Speciesism, it already is a word, actually. Shttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speciesism

This does however, at a glace, seem only apply to Humans in reference to non-sapients. Not that we have any real life examples of Speciesism against any other Sapients, on account of no other Sapients but humans.

~A lot of the dark stuff should be blatently obvious, but noone seems to notice. Its kinda hilarious, considering the whole flame-war thing, between Haters and Bronies, I think, where the Haters think MLP is boring and girly and makes Bronies lesser, while Bronies think it is interesting, and to a large extent pure, and then I'm over hear Laughing, since I realize that both sides are completely wrong.

~Always did think the Elements of Harmony, as portrayed, were, well, not particularly safely designed.
Extremely powerful, requires teamwork to use.
It seemingly requires only token efforts to match the elements.
Every piece of it is easily corruptible.
It probably works based on what the wielders believe is right.
And, lastly, it should be almost trivially easy to take them out by removing one. If they require *True Friendship*, rather than intending to use their power, it would then be almost impossible to reclaim them without killing/severing the bearer's connections, (and avoiding leaking that event to the public) and then tricking another group of six into the proper situations.

~I believe that the canon show filters out most violence and so on, on account of it being a children's show, and that Nightmare Moon's traps were a LOT more dangerous, extensive, and there was a far larger number of them. And so on with many other episodes. Discord, if not bound by laws of Cartoon Evil, would be fetting Terrifying.

~I do not at all believe Equestria, or indeed the rest of the planet, is pure like people assume it is. And there are so many fictions where HIE try to avoid corrupting them. At least a few avert it, like This story.

I love this....hmn....This isn't as dark as usual? You want to see what's dark, go to pathofen.blogspot.com

Awww yeah, A new chapter!(kind of):pinkiehappy:

DF

I haven't been keeping up with this story in a while, but I saw the new cover when it updated, and I just have to say that it's terrifying. Excellent work!

Thank you for this awesome chapter.

Oh, and welcome off hiatus.

2882718
The women... it costed me ALL of the women and men... ALL OF THEM FOREVER.

...

... :derpytongue2:

:pinkiehappy: updates from you make me a happy bunny.

Although I was waiting for a Davy Jones impression throughout the interrogation.

Diamrem : Do you have any more questions? No? Didn't think so.
Vynil: Just one
Diamrem : huh?
Vynil: A question. I Have one left.
Diamrem :Oh really? Well what would that be?
Vynil: Do you fear death?

and your comments seem to be going good. You should be in the thousands but oh well. Still, maybe you can post on other sites. If you don't want to I could post it. Because work this good demands to be read by the masses.

Anyway, onto the chapter. First critique as with the previous ones is: Where is Cogwill!:fluttercry:

Starswirl was interesting. Smart yet stupid at the same time. As if Vynil and she were fighting for brain cells (Put the points in inelegance/no put them in charisma!) And then there was your hint at the Maker. Some analogue for the human God? or another lesser deity. Maybe it's the Maker from Dragon age, who knows?

.... well apart from you.

The interrogation scene was well done. Banter seems to be a specialty of yours and that, along with characterization... these things together made a very good scene that kept me interested throughout. It didn't translate well into the fight scene however. Fight scenes need more... visual things. People tend not to think too much when a thousand things are happening, they just act as the hind brain kicks in. I'm guessing that Ponies/Dragons would be the same.

But still this was good. Made me happy :pinkiesad2: I was a little sad that my own attempts at first person turned out to be a far worse than third person, but I came here after months of absence, found you updated and...

:pinkiehappy:

2902871
YAAAAYYYY! Your reviews are what I look forward to the most out of any other comment. I'd say the best thing I look forward to period, but I think More Dakka and his awesome fan art is giving you a run for your bits (tis' a very close race though :derpytongue2:)!

On first comment: DAMN IT ALL WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT UUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!

On second comment: Well outside of fanfiction.com (which I don't really visit), I don't know where else I would put up this fic! If you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them :twilightsmile:

Third: We're getting back to her soon here, damn it! :flutterrage:
... You just have to remember what my definition of "soon" is :twilightblush:

Fourth: Hehe, yes, Starswirl is very fun to write for! Someone said that she reminds them of the Doctor, which I think is hilarious :rainbowlaugh: She's supposed to be the smart master of the arcana everypony believes her to be, and she is... she's just also silly and adorkable Twilight times a hundred. There IS a method to my madness though... when I write for her, I write her like I'm writing 'evil' Cogy ;3

Fifth: Aw yes, The Maker. He who all the gods and goddesses answer to... a bit about him/her/it was talked about by Starswirl during her introduction chapters, but the big guy/gal/thing is still a mystery... for now. Wait and see, my pretties :raritywink:

Sixth and Last... While tying into the last comment, maybe~?: Thanks! I'm really glad it turned out good! I've been sitting on this one for-freaking-ever simply because I wanted the story to advance a bit more after said scene. When I finally gained some sense and realized that what I had could fill a chapter by itself... well... I did just that!

And yes, I'm aware that fighting isn't quite my forte... at least yet, that is! Don't be surprised... if you see more action scenes in future chapters. Why will this happen, you might ask, if I've realized that it's not my strength? Easy! Practice make perfect! I WANT to get good in this area! Can you imagine how freaking epic a final boss battle between Cog and Diamrem would be if I could perfectly incorporate my strengths in characterization and dialogue?!

Hot damn would that be sexy~

That having been said, thank you once again for sticking with me here after so long, and give that first person thingy another try! I've said it once and I'll say it again, my friend; practice, makes, fabulous~ :raritystarry:

Derply away!!

2903201

Honestly. If this a race I'll probably lose. He has more Dakka on his side after all:rainbowlaugh:

:ajbemused: nnope

What... I thought it was funny. :trollestia:

Oh well.

But yeah. Other than Fanfiction, Spacebattles is fairly good with insert characters. The comments on that site are what make it worthwhile. Fanfiction gives the passive encouragement alongside the occasional funny flame.:trollestia:

Glad to see all the work and love you put into this. It's stuff like that which really makes the story shine.

In the mean time stay... fabulous I guess. Is that how you say it? Stay fabulous? Wait. Why am I saying that out loud?:rainbowderp:

No dad, I'm not... :twilightblush: no I-

Such a good story! I can not wait until the next chapter! So, is Cog's soul really pink? Or do we have to wait until Vinyl (somehow) see's her again?

644548 How far are you on the next chapter?:rainbowhuh: I hope it's a long one!:P

3101555
Hmmm. Well due to time constraints on my end, I have decided to make the next chapter a mini one, meaning it's not going to be the full length I usually make them to be... bare in mind that "mini-chapter" to me can mean anywhere between 2K-7K words long, so you can rest assured that it will still be of decent length :twilightsmile:

I'm currently sitting on 2K for this next chapter, which only covers 1/4 of the first scene, so I still have a ways to go. I also want to follow it with a NORMAL sized chapter (aka, in the 10K ballpark like usual) so I'm sorry to say that there's going to be a bit of a wait :fluttershysad:

... It'll be well worth it though! Cogwill returns to the story in the chapter after next!:eeyup:

-Derply

I'm actually thinking about making a story a lot like this.

3313348
Two can play this mustache game :moustache:

Also, I'm trying ssssooooooo hard to make more, I promise :raritydespair:

While I can't promise it'll be SOON, I CAN promise that there will be some updates to this story in the foreseeable future, once school calms down a bit! Looking at a mini-chapter, followed by a full chapter the very next day... and then I'm going to take chapter 9 and rewrite the HELL out of it, cuz it annoys me :pinkiecrazy:

... But new chapters first, of course :rainbowkiss:

3359828
I was talking on the assumption that the ponies have a consistent level of metal production/metallurgy, or the resources a pony powered nation has.

3348767

No problem! Once again I am sorry it just wasn't my sort of story. Perhaps I'll like another one of your works in the future, though, as I do enjoy your writing style. c:

3475131
I want to sooooo badly :fluttershysad: But I don't have the time to make it not shit :fluttercry: A-and I also want to update it TWICE next time too, for everypony's sake, so it was already destined to take awhile :raritydespair:

... Please forgive me :raritycry:

Oh, thank Celestia's sweet lady tits and clittorcock, ACITM didn't miraculously update without telling me when I came to check on it...whew...that's good to know...ManlyDerp...I'm disappointed in you, though...5 months with nary an update....for shame...But I still love your story, and if you cancel it, I will find you in a dark alley, kidnap you, and start my multi-step plan terrorizing you into writing again...lovingly of course. I will make Fluttershy look cruel in comparison to the torture of my love.

3620974
N-no cancellations, I promise :applecry: I just haven't had the time to actually enjoy writing anything, period. School work sleep, school work sleep, school work sleep... that has been all I've been doing for the longest time here, including during the summer...

... But Winter is coming... which means winter break... :pinkiesad2:

3621214 Which means new chapter?:pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy:

I wonder if the magic she stole from Luna is stuck in that body or she can pass it to another?

3658638
Wait and see :ajsmug:

... Hopefully not that long :rainbowlaugh:

3603520
I sad, SAD fact of life :pinkiesick:

Things that will never happen in Cog in the machine;

Starswirl and Clover the clever wake up drunk, sharing a bed, then find several empty bottles of alcoholic Cinder and a note of Discord that says, "Happy anniversary, by the way, your bosses will get very angry that you sleep together. Discord." Discord of course means that they literally sleep together, they where way too drunk for anything to happen, those two of course, think different.

Certain young griffin joins the griffin pirates despite being underage.

Diamond Tiara wakes up not in Tartarus, but in the human world as a brony pet. (She thinks Tartarus would have been better)

Rarity meets others versions of herself and form a team to "Fight for fashion in the multiverse."

The Flim Flam brothers meet a female Discord called Eris, she accidentally got the "Flim Flam sisters" killed, so she turn the brothers into mares and teleports them to her own universe. It turns out the "Flim Flam sisters" where actually more successful than the brothers, due to gender reversed Equestria having way more stallions than mares. Of course, that left the new mares with certain "reputation".

I just realized that Starswirl the Deluded might technically qualify as a Draconequus. At least so far at the literal definition, if not the in-universe species. After all, it translates to Dragon Horse. Seeing as She was a Pony, and... Uhm, Messed with her soul? And became part or mostly dragon... Well ye....

4219979

Maybe we share similar tastes?

4646190
Aye. They've been on my list since the first chapter.

4646190 Aye. I h a v e a s p e c i a l g i f t f o r t h e m . . .:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

4646190
Aye, we should give them to Saint Cuthbert for their deeds!

4646190
Rip... Maim... Crush....:pinkiecrazy: ...Aye.
Send them to the Rainbow Factory!

Ok, yeah, hasn't been updated since 2013.

That is a crime.

A story this good does not go on hiatus that long, unlike my crappy fics which aren't even worth the bytes they compose in comparison.

I'm going to watch this anyway, and favorite it because it is so good I was losing sleep over it, the last ones to do that to me were Fallout Equestria and Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons. Griffin the Griffin and Falling Feathers were close, but no; this is better.

5000109
Thank you kindly :twilightsmile: This fic isn't dead; I've said it one too many times this past year but truly I mean it. I've slowly taken up writing again, so at one point I'm going to give this story the resurrection it deserves. Please hold on until then. It'll be worth it. :raritywink:

5000916 I await with bated breath! :pinkiegasp: GASP! *holds breath, but then lets it out*

Oh! Right! As for that April fools chapter, I would suggest that if you want to take a break from all the pain and suffering of the Alpha Timeline of A Cog in the Machine, writing an alternate version that cheers you up can offset it well enough that writing the Alpha version is easier.

I would know, I use this method for my more invested fics, only I write out every branching path I believe a situation can go, and pick the one most suited. Either way, in my heart, each one is true and worth revisiting for a good laugh, cry (I'm such a pansy), or rage at my own villains (because I make villains that really piss me off :rainbowderp:)

5001641
Yeah, I think I know that last bit... *angrily glares at a certain pair of brothers*

... But that IS a good idea, the branching bits part. When I get back to story, they'll be a bit of a re-role with some of it so working my way through the 'branches' might do me some good... I'll consider it :twilightsmile:

How massive will this rewrite be?

5050715
Well, originally I was planning to do a complete re-write, where I start from the beginning and change how certain things happen... but I've come to realize that this wouldn't be fair to the people who've been here since day one.

Now I'm thinking the 'reboot' will simply be focusing on fine tuning the characters so that they're more consistent, either tone down or better present the melodrama, and make it so the transition from part one of the story to part two is more natural feeling.

In the end I'm looking at combining some chapters, deleting others, and then continuing where I left off... after a catch up guide chapter, of course. It has been awhile, after all :twilightblush:

Hey,I've read your story in just a couple of days , and I like to say that if you ever continue this, I'd like to see what will happen to Vinyl and to the others as well....I'm not forcing you or anything that goes haywire in my mind.:twilightsmile:


and FYI........the suspense is killing me from this hiatus-ed story :pinkiegasp:

It's a great story....so it will be my fave and a like to you

5054444
Gee, thanks :rainbowkiss:

I will be continuing this story someday, promise! I'm aiming for around season 5! The reboot I mentioned won't change too much, so just keep an eye out for any blog posts from me and you'll be good to go :raritywink:

See you then :raritystarry:

5084795
Opps. Yeah, a link was supposed to go there but it must be broken now or something. The image is available on my page though, under the "A Cog in the Machine fanart" section. It was a bit too spoilerific to post directly in the story like the other ones at the time :twilightsmile:

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