• Member Since 18th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

PyraBlue Heart


Don't expect any story updates, at least not for awhile

T

I probably should have been more careful about my actions whenever I got to this land of rainbows and suprisingly dark places. Nonetheless I act like a complete fool when I first arrive in Equestria as Modern Metal Sonic.

Never, ever trust guys in cloaks.

Anyway I calm down from the adrenaline rush soon enough to deal with a bunch of things going wrong. But you probably want to hear about the ponies and not me right? Well what if I told ya I fall in love with both Rainbow Dash and Luna? Yeah, a robot in love, how the hell is that gonna work?

Magic, magic is how it's gonna work.

Sex tag for sexual language
Metal Sonic X Luna and Rainbow Dash story

Chapters (65)
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Comments ( 422 )

hm i like the fact that he knows he became displaced and is not going to throw a fit about it like you said

I was wanding when a Displace Metal Sonic will pop up. :pinkiehappy:

I do enjoy sonic characters, but I don't like how he knows he is a displaced.

6250844 Explain, if you are going to say that, please tell me why, I like to hear the reasons why people dislike this kind if thing

6250909 I gave you three chapters in one day what more do you want

6250866 personally i like that he knows he is displaced, it puts a nice change in the story since most other displaced follow a set guideline of go to con, buy something and get sent to equestria, do something dumb and get stoned for 1k years, the random stuff and meeting up with other displaced. So i enjoy something that doesn't follow the set flow, also it is quite fun this way

6250866 The main point is kinda for them to have problems with Equestria then they either fix the problems, avoid the problems, or plain up hate Equestria. But this is a promising book. :twilightsmile: I actually prefer this.

6250997 I demand more! Mehr sage ich!

6251057 And this is kinda what I agree with.

You know, since I've read a lot of displaced you'd think I'd know not to trust shady guys at comic-con

Or know not to add to the steaming pile known as the displaced stories. When is this going to die? The trope and this piece in particular? They rarely surpass a few chapters after all. I don't even know why people bother writing or reading them anymore when it's nothing but a group of cookie-cutter incomplete stories.
Guess you get points for an original spin, though. Good on ya.

6251649 I get what you mean, it's like the damsel in distress trope, in some cases it can be done well but most of the time it fails...

Unless you do it right.

I'm making sure to avoid certain clichés in this, keep in mind some are unavoidable, but I will do my best to make this as original as possible.

While I'm getting a hater vibe from you, your point is actually valid.

6250997 another chapter within at least a year?

6251843 it's been up for less than two days, I plan on finishing this, and not in a few chapters.

There is way more to come. I upload a chapter for each of my stories at least under four weeks each time.

6251897 I am going to say this, one last time.

I gave you people THREE chapters, in ONE day, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

This got put into the popular stories! :yay:

A bit too telling rather than showing, and while I don't necessarily find someone knowing about displaced from the get out, but the ease he shifts into it is a bit disarming.
Also, I think you might have been better served by having data brought up to meet him via internal computer systems, as could his combat capabilities, rather than appearing a sapient plant alien. A simple verbal question spoken in all too serious curiosity would have sufficed (ex: What am I? though 'Is that Canterlot in the distance?' would have most likely only registered in you character's personal memory rather than Metal's). As it stands now not only does he know he has a chaos emerald powering him (which would have been an excellent item to buy from 'the merchant'), but that he is unquestioning of the knowledge of a Master Emerald nearby (which I think might have been better served by his scanning of the environment and it as well as other emeralds since they are powered by the Master by registering as "replacement power sources"). As for time, that too might have been better shown rather than told by zipping through Canterlot, causing all sorts of blusters as you remain invisible to the unskilled eye and getting a hold of a local paper. A royal couple returning to Canterlot would have definitely made the news.

Lightbulb... maybe it's time I try my hand at this whole Displaced thing...

Hi, the names Nathaniel James, but my friends call me Nathan. Although that's not my name anymore, now it's Metal Sonic. Follow me in my story of silliness, randomness and an eventual romance.

Metal Sonic

an eventual romance

No. Just no.

~Skeeter The Lurker

6255482 Why not?
Can't androids dream of robotic sheep? Or however that reference goes...

6255488

Because there is absolutely no feasible way to make that work?

At all?

Displaced or not?

~Skeeter The Lurker

6255496 Ohhhh, I am going to prove you so wrong my dear friend

6255518

I can honestly say I hope you do. But I doubt it as most Sonic crossovers are never done right.

And this is Displaced, too... So... Kind of a disadvantage right there.

Best of luck to you.

~Skeeter The Lurker

6255545 I get that, it's a valid point. But you can't just 'mark for death' something because it's in a certain category.

6255551

Well, when 90% of said category is shit, it's hard not to.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Oh darn, I thought this was a Sweetie Bot story.

I am not sure which Cosmo you mean, but this, well i didn´t needed that part, he/she was able to tell him to much for the start i think.

"That's because I am a machine Queen Chrysalis, I do have emotions just not any organic parts."

This isn´t really important for me for the story itself, but everytime the character with no organic parts is meant for a romance, i get rather curious how this is supposed to work.

Honestly i somehow thought that he maybe has some of that special metal in some fiction movies/books ect.
I think i remember that some robots were built the way, to make it possible to learn to taste things, and stuff like that.

when Celestias little pet project will succeed

is he talking about Twilight?, because it sounds like the usually Celestia not even asking Twilight what she wants.


He somehow had it a bit to easy, while i didn´t minded it to much, that he already knew everything, i didn´t liked it, that he told them everything, since in my opinion it is probably never good if someone would know the future, they could change to much i guess.

I didn´t needed the stone part, but he was way to normal, or at least the meeting went to easy for what i am used to, and i don´t even need it to be a voilent meeting, but he really had it to easy, knew to much, told to much...i guess that was everything so far.

I think you are starting to rush the story a little bit.

Okay a nice Rainbow Dash is alright, but that are already two things that went perfect for him, and i don´t knwo he accepted everything way to fast, and is already that cocky, i mean you described him as antisocial am i right?

i like random Pinkie, but i prefer it, if she doesn´t knows everythink, or does stuff like talking with the author.
6250866
i would say it just happens, it isn´t as interessting if everything is cleared out right at the start, and i guess it takes some interessting situations aways that would have been possible otherwise.

As much as i remember you describing him, he made a change in his personality, that should not be possible that fast. I admit i forgot that he wasn´t antisocial because he had a problem with acting aroung people or something, but i guess it still doesn´t fit his personality that much right now.

I don´t know, i can´t really shake of the feeling that he has the situation to much under control, he know how to beriend with every pony, he had no problem with aking everyone blushing, it was really easy for him to make Luna feel special, well i still wait for his flaws.

6256638 Thank you for pointing all of this out, there are reasons for his behaviour but that will become apparent with later chapters.

Still a bit to perfect, but i think this chapter was actually okay, in my opinion you could change a little bit from earlier chapters, or just try to make it a bit different.

I like the story, and this chapter is probably my favourite, however i am not sure what to think of that cuddle thing, that there were suddenly ponies, that would probably still not want to do anything with Luna if i understood it right.

6256654 Most where bat ponies, aside from the little chef

6256745 aahhh yes why didn´t i remembered the bat ponys?:twilightblush:

6258097 because the show used them once and we never got any explanation why they were there

"Easy tiger, I didn't bring anything here, someone brought me here with this thing, I didn't exactly have a choice in the matter." I walked up to her and we were nose to nose. "Now, you're gonna do as I say as I am the only one here that knows how to prevent this from happening, are we clear?" Celestia wanted to lean closer to push me away but my sharp nose prevented her from doing so.

He got a point for standing up against Celestia.
Then he lost said point again for doing it....well why was he suddenly so mean?, he doesn´t even waited to see if she believes him, and directly invaded her privacy. I think i only don´t like it, that he is not respecting her, he maybe things bad of her, but she didn´t had the chance to do something bad till now.

If your Chaos has the brain weakness, i guess Celestia, or some good trained Unicorns, could have a chance to hit him there, to fight him off, i think the only really difficult thing is to really defeat him.
It is still a bit odd, that he already has access to all of his abilitys, but it is not to bad.

"I've never been this cocky before, I don't know if it's been a spur of the moment kinda thing or what, next I've never been this social, whatever's happened to me obviously has something to do with my body change."

Okay nice try to repair that damage, i think i could accept this explanation.

Then there was Cosmo again......

How would that work out, you're a robot, you can't have a physical relationship.

"Why does everyone think that you have to have sex just to have a good relationship, it's just wrong, yes, in some cases it is a vital piece for the relationship but not always, a relationship isn't determined by how you can please each other physically, I focus on pleasing her emotionally.

Not sure if that is the respond to my comment last time, but even if i didn´t thing this is important, i just think that it could be weird since she probably want it after some time.
I mean yes he could still find a way, but i am not sure if it is that easy to explain.

I think in the end it depens on if he can live with it, if he is okay with it, i just thought it would be normal to want a physically relationship eventually, even if someone isn´t focused on it.

I can understand that guy that thinks Metal Sonic, and a romance would not work, but then again i think even if he can´t have most of it for himself, he can do everything for Luna, even the physical part, "he can please her, but she would have to focuse on his emotional state".

I admit i can´t really shake of the feeling that even if he isn´t focused on sex, that he would never want it, it is possible like a grown man, that suddenly get´s blind, however i thought about it, and i think Luna have to keep him happy, while he can do everything for Luna. (even sex, i am sure there would be a way.

( Is it okay to talk about it in "teen, and mature" rated storys, or can i only say it in mature storys? I fogot the rules about that part.)


I would wish if you don´t show Cosmo anymore, once because she somehow exist to rush the story, and i feel robbed about some interessting developments, the story would have if Cosmo would not be there.

Long story short :

-I think the relationship would be possible, but maybe they should talk about it, or Cadance could help them wiithout to speed up the relationship.
-He maybe is a maschine but he was a Human befor, so he well has feelings, and i think there are some fictions with maschines that are learning how to feel. (like Turing Test), if you had read the story with that pony robot.

Not sure why but everytime Cosmo explains something it makes it somehow bad, i honestly feel like it would have been better if he would have understood those things by himself.

I have you a thumb up, but i still think there are some small things that could be better, maybe if you would not use Cosmo, you could make the chapters longer, around 1000 words start to seems to little for someone that reads as much as me.

6260074 Again, very valid points, even Metal addressed the Cosmo issue in the story, ill try to slow things down, and try to find a way to have Cosmo come across as more of a character rather than an easy way out.

6260500 okay, but i think that would need her not to know any universal thing, i meant that she can tell him something way to important, at least i think that would be the easiest way to do it.

edit: i need to slow down if i write, i make to many mistakes, like a double "i"

6260547 As for why he was mean, he knew the destruction Chaos could cause if released, so he didn't waste any time as he was concerned for the ponies well being, causing him to act out to move things along, the only way to do that, was to show Celestia that he was serious about the problem at hand.

A Displaced of my favourite sonic character? I can and will dig it. We've seen Cosmo and Chaos, I wonder what other sonic characters we'll see. Are Cosmo and Chaos displaced as well or are they the actual characters?

6260721 Oh, hey there dude. No, Chaos and Cosmo aren't displaced, in later chapters I will explain why they are there, also, we will see other sonic characters along the way, I even have a plan to include Mephilis.

6250185 You know, I thought the same thing.

6260612 well yes, i only don´t think that the only way to do it would be to treaten her in some way, and make her feel more like she could not trust him.

It is maybe only me, but i would feel more like trusting him, if he would look really desperate , or something in that direction, and i would start to dislike him more, if he would go as far as to boss me around, maybe even accidently treaten me with his sharp nose.

I just believe he is the only one i remember right now, that actually gives her some sort of a reason to do that stone prison thing, no other even touched her.
I am not saying he did it completely wrong, but well he could have chosen a much better approach, he acted like he only had thirty seconds to do everything.
She should have had more time to react.

Comment posted by Grankuwaga deleted Jul 31st, 2015

6260748 If he sees other sonic characters that aren't displaced then will they confuse him for the real Metal Sonic and try to fight him?

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